Healing the Force
by AdylinJ
Summary: What happens when the Exile fractures the Force and the woman who embodies it.
1. Chapter 1

She is our child, brought to us when she was only five. She is one of many that will move among the galaxy throughout the ages experiencing life, death, joy, sadness and everything in between. She is the light, offering a beacon of hope to humanity for what they can strive to be through compassion, knowledge and peace. She is the dark, exposing the bases of fear, hunger for power, destruction and utter desolation. She will start wars, murdering those that she touches with darkness. She will end wars, giving birth to courage to turn back the dark and heal the wounds she created with the light. She will touch all living things and they will be ignorant of her true nature. She will suffer through grief, heal tortured souls, experience betrayal at the hands of those who follow her, and she will know the deep abiding rapture of love. She will be divided from herself. And, in the end, she will need to sacrifice all that she is to be whole.

She is our embodiment.

We are the force.

Ten Years Earlier

"You taught me many things since I came here, but you never taught me why we allow wars to even occur"

_Some would say, child, that through adversity and overcoming challenges, all living creatures become stronger. _

"I understand the concept of lessons learned and that we become stronger through adversity, but this is moving into the realm of mindless slaughter."

_We allow choice and free will, child, for a reason so that others can know whether we mean them good or ill. The Mandalorian's, centuries ago, chose to find honor and glory through battle. Just as the Jedi chose to use us for peace and protection; the Sith chose the path of domination and terror. _

"You must have both for balance." She sighed as she watched the battle in her mind's eye. Today, the Mandalorian Wars would end.

_She has made her decision. _

"I see that." She said as she watched the woman walk to the center of Trayus, the Sith Academy on Malachor V. "One war ends just so another can rise to take its place."

_It is a critical time._

A few moments later she cried out in pain as the Mass Shadow Generator crushed Malachor V and the ships of the Mandalorian and Republic fleets.

_Calm, child. Let them come. _

"There is more . . . I'm . . .," she cried out again, "Make it stop . . . it hurts . . . make him stop!"

One Year Later

It had taken days after the battle of Malachor V to find her balance again, but she had adjusted to losing a portion of herself. Where a part of her had once lived, there was now nothing. A hole, a wound waiting to heal. The only question was, what would take its place? If the one called the Exile returned, in what manner would he come back to the Force?

She sat against the wall atop the stone spire looking out over the Valley of the Jedi, an arid and rocky place, her home and sometimes her prison. She hadn't been allowed to leave the Valley, except for short jaunts to other temples or tombs of the True Ones for lessons or meditations. She, however, traveled through her connections so she wasn't ignorant of the galaxy.

She knew the Dark Lord had returned with her apprentice and the Jedi Civil War was under way. The Sith numbers swelled while the ranks of the Jedi dwindled. Even those that had been loyal to the Republic had changed their allegiance, and to prove their worth, were annihilating planets. She closed her eyes and braced herself for the flood of the innocent souls of Telos IV. The Republic would be too late to help them.

The apprentice gave the order before his Sith Master could stop him. She watched in horror as the once lush landscape and sparkling cities were reduced to rubble. She tried desperately to block out the cries of the injured and dying, but there was one voice that couldn't be silenced. The anguish and torment of death cut through her with a razor's edge. Heartache and mourning tore at her core and she tasted bitterness on her lips. The agonizing screams of denial echoed around her then were slowly replaced with betrayal and hatred. She wiped at her tears while trying to take steady breaths.

"I'm sorry."

Over the next couple of years, she watched at the Sith Lord Revan, and her apprentice Malak, wreaked havoc on the Republic. Finally, the Jedi Council, in a frantic bid to restore peace, set a trap for the Sith Lord. They had sent a small Jedi strike team to capture Revan, but Malak saw this as an opportunity to usurp his master's power and become the leader of the Sith. It was the Sith circle of life, she thought; no one was safe in their power. So, Malak had fired on Revan's ship to destroy her and take her place, but he made a few fatal errors, the first being, he didn't destroy the ship.

The Jedi strike team saved Revan and the Council reprogrammed her damaged mind with a new identity. The child shook her head in resignation. Asking someone to remember something without really remembering was foolish at best, dangerous at worst. The Sith Lord had been destined on her path from the moment she was born, until the day she would die.

That was Malak's second mistake; he didn't kill her the second time, instead revealing her true identity and the duplicity of the Jedi Council. But, there was something more.

She knew one of the voices that traveled with the Sith Lord. It was a voice that had been dimmed by darkness. The voice had gained nothing in fulfilling the empty promise of vengeance. In fact, it had merely traded one destructive emotion for another, more betrayal.

As the months passed, Revan and her companions found the prize they sought and in doing so, exposed Malak's final mistake; his arrogance in believing his own hype, or rather, the hype of the Sith. But the dark didn't end. The Sith Lord would have her revenge on them all and it began with a simple, unbearably cruel request. Revan asked the voice to wait.

The child was allowed to leave the Valley once Revan had left known space. She was never given a clear reason why, but she jumped at the chance to see other worlds, meet other beings, and go to her home world of Naboo. She didn't remember much, just vague images at best, but she could visit her mother's grave and tell her of the things she had done, the people she had met, and the voice that always seemed to be with her.

She helped a Mandalorian that the Sith Lord had tortured and left for dead. She met a Miraluka on Kataar, a plant strong in the force and wept at its destruction during the Sith Civil war. With Malak gone, the Sith had turned on each other, warring not only amongst themselves but also with the Republic.

This is what brought the Exile back and when his teacher created the breach in the Force on Korriban, she was told to come home. The Exile had made his choice. Her balance had shifted.

The voice was stronger now, having regained some of its life, but it was still mistrustful and as it followed the journey of the Exile, it masked its quiet desperation and disappointment.

_It is time, child. You must follow him and learn all you can. _

"If I leave the Valley of the Jedi, I could fall." She said.

_He will seek out his teacher and destroy her. He will take her power as his own which will restore some balance to the force._

She didn't understand all the dynamics, but nodded.

_Child, you are here because you are the one True Jedi. _

"I know." She sighed

_He returns to his home, although for the first time, because he is the one True Sith. _

Her surprise was evident by her gasp, "Does he know?"

_He will learn of his destiny and what he must do to survive._

She looked around the austere stone rotunda and studied the pure white fire at its center, "My home." She whispered.

_Prepare yourself, child, to be who you once were, who you will be once again. _

She closed her eyes against the brilliant flash of light and sighed,

"Jaden."

Today

"Anything T3?" Jaden asked from the bridge of the Ebon Hawk.

"Beep"

"No, I'm not sure he's on the Sojourn. That's why you're checking."

"Beep Boop."

"T3," she sighed, "Please check again."

"Statement: Master, if we were to shoot at the Sojourn then we would know. If I remember my Republic Military protocol correctly, Master, the highest ranking officer would be required to be on the Bridge."

"There's one problem with that HK, we would be dead before he stepped on a turbo lift."

"Resignation: Merely a suggestion, Master."

"I'll keep it under advisement, HK." She said rolling her eyes.

T3 beeped excitedly

"Are you sure?" She asked at the droid's excited recitation.

"BEEP!"

"Okay, okay, I believe you!" She said with another eye roll. "Where on the ship, can you pinpoint his location?"

"Beep, boop, dweet."

"The Sith are on your doorstep and you're _napping_?" she whispered.


	2. Healing the Force Chapter 2

The bridge of the Sojourn was a steady hive of activity. Men were at their stations, watching readouts running scans and doing weapons checks. They were on the edge on the Unknown Regions doing research work and searching. For what? No one really knew except the Admiral. Not even Carth's best friend.

General Kwyn Lavek had worked his way up in the ranks of the Republic Navy having served in the Mandalorian Wars, fighting Revan during the Jedi Civil War and fighting the Sith during their civil war. When Kwyn joined the military, he never thought it would be one war after another but that's how it turned out. He could have done without it, but it was important to him to defend the Republic. In the twelve years since he enlisted, he had been loyal while watching others walk away to join the Sith. He'd also been loyal to Admiral Onasi. Carth Onasi wasn't just his commanding officer he was also a friend. His best friend and as such, he had seen a great deal over the years. Some things Carth shared with Kwyn, others . . . well, rabid mynoks couldn't drag it out of Carth. Especially anything having to do with Revan.

Lavek had been there when the Ebon Hawk disappeared with the Exile at Malachor V three years ago. He was also at the graduation ceremony of Carth's son Dustil from the academy one year ago. One year ago when Revan suddenly reappeared, after five years, and moments before the bombardment of the academy. Dustil and Carth had been critically wounded and Revan had died. It took weeks for Carth to recover physically, but it had taken months for his friend to recover emotionally. The woman who had saved his life disappeared within days of Carth regaining consciousness and he refused to talk about her, who she was, and what she had done.

Carth Onasi was still a solid commander, a good friend, and a fair leader. He was, however, a changed man.

"General Lavek? I think you'll want to see this."

"What is it, Corporal?" Lavek asked pulling from his reverie and walking toward the sensor screen.

"There sir. It's slipping in and out of sensor range."

"Can you get a reading on it?" He asked watching the blip fade in and out. The young man flipped some switches and a green lined image appeared on the screen. Lavek thought he deserved a medal for keeping his emotions in check.

"Dwoo."

"Are you sure, T3?"

"Dwooo."

"Oh, stop it. He's not going to shoot us out of the sky."

"Statement: Master, if I may interject. The last time the Ebon Hawk was in known space was when the Exile, a delightfully dark sided character, defeated Darth Traya on Malachor V. You are the one who orchestrated his companion's recovery and rescue. You know what they told the Republic."

"Your point, HK?"

"Statement: For the Ebon Hawk to return now, the Admiral may just 'shoot us out of the sky'", he said imitating Jaden's voice, "to get it over with and stop a war before it even starts, a shame that, however, the opportunity may just be too convenient to ignore."

"Dwooo."

Jaden thought for a moment before buckling into her seat, "I really hate it when you're right, HK."

"Beep Beep."

"Interjection: I doubt they would believe us, T3. As I just stated . . ."

"HK, be quiet," Jaden growled, "They're running a long range scan."

"Beep"

"Yes, T3 I'm sure he won't, but you have given me an idea." The short burst from T3 directed at HK made Jaden smile. The light and dark sides in mechanical form never failed to amuse her. Why they hadn't killed each other over the preceding years was a mystery, but it was something she didn't dwell on. Each had their special quirks so maybe they recognized they made a good team.

Carth stood on the bridge studying the computer image of the Ebon Hawk. It had been missing for three years and Carth knew from past experience, that each time the Ebon Hawk showed up nothing good would come of it. Well, maybe one thing, but even that had ended in tragedy last year. He pushed those thoughts aside and looked at the report of the long-range scan.

"No life signs? Did you check for droid signatures?" He asked trying, but unable, to ignore the curling sensation within him.

"No signs of life or droids. It's like she was abandoned at the edge of the galaxy and has been drifting about."

Carth continued to study the charts and readouts. The Unknown Regions. Revan had come here seeking some threat she said, but he had been asked to stay behind and help the Republic when he had desperately wanted to go with her. It was also presumed that the Exile had also traveled here.

"Admiral?"

"Send Green squad to investigate. Oh, and Lavek, tell them to be ready for anything."

"Beep."

"Statement: Standard Republic protocol, Master. He is sending a squadron to investigate."

"Damn, he's going to get them killed. Change of plans guys."

"Surprised Statement: Master, we had a plan?" Jaden ignored HK.

"T3, I need you to pilot the ship. I want you to put her right in front of the Sojourn."

"Dwooo." T3 let out as he moved to the console.

"You can do it, T3. They're traveling slow enough. I want bridge to bridge. I want to be able to see the whites of their eyes." She said as she took a deep breath and closed her eyes. The massive mind trick would cost her, but she felt the element of surprise would be best.

"Sir! It's gone! The ship disappeared from the long range sensors."

"Green squad?"

"Confirmed sir, the Ebon Hawk just disappeared."

"A cloaking device?" Lavek asked Carth quietly, and then said, "Trace the ion emissions if you can." He barked at the young man who was clearly unsettled by the events happening around him.

Carth moved away from the console to stand by the massive window at the front of the bridge. Lavek followed.

"Perhaps left over technology of the Star Forge?" He asked quietly. Carth shook his head.

"Revan and Malak would have used it. No, this is something else." He trailed off as the hair on the back of his neck began to rise. "Put Red and Blue squadrons on alert." He said quickly moving away from the window but he didn't get far.

What was it about Carth Onasi that stayed with Jaden? The reluctant war hero, the stalwart soldier, the devoted friend? The most incredibly handsome man Jaden had even seen. The voice that was never far from her. He stood tall, was well built and his hair hung over his forehead, exhibiting a life of it's own always falling back into place. His eyes were the same deep brown that had accused her of heinous crimes last year when she told him what had happened, but he looked tired and that pulled at Jaden more than anything. The Sith took his wife and home on Telos and corrupted his son for a time. Their leader, Revan, believed to be redeemed and forgiven, touches his heart, only to leave and then return to die before his eyes, ultimately trading her life for his. Jaden thought about the day she told him the truth and shuttered. Anger, darker than any she had seen, assaulted her and if it hadn't been for Dustil pleading with his father, it would have killed her, draining the delicate balance of the force within her.

Jaden sighed, knowing that their very survival depended on this man and what they shared. It was still there but dormant, marginally trained, but a vital part of Jaden. She leaned over and pushed the one button that would change their lives forever.

"Admiral Onasi."

Carth froze at the sound of his name echoing throughout the bridge. He tuned out the explosion of activity around him and turned toward the window. Not 20 feet separated the Sojourn's bridge structure from the front of the Ebon Hawk. He could see her clearly, as beautiful as he remembered. She hadn't changed in the last year. Her hair was still a shoulder length choppy mess of browns and gold. Her green eyes still large and fathomless, her skin flawless. Her willowy body masked its strength and she stood almost as tall as Carth, which pleased him for some odd reason. T3-M3 was to her left and HK-47, Revan's assassin droid right behind her. Once he despised her for sparing his life and taking Revan's but now, after knowing her side and his training he understood what Revan had asked of her and why Jaden did what she did. He also found, much to his surprise, that he had missed her.

"Admiral, ships dropping out of hyperspace. Unknown registry!"

"T3, get us out of here. HK, man the gun turret!" Jaden shouted as she sat back in the command chair. "Damn it," she swore, "They couldn't have waited five more minutes?" She muttered as she banked the Ebon Hawk away from the Sojourn and toward the battle.

"Admiral, get the Sojourn out of here, you can't win this." She said as she adjusted a few switches.

"Red and Blue squadron's launched, Admiral." But as soon as that announcement was made, several of the fighters were incinerated by a powerful blast, which caught the Ebon Hawk in its wake.

"Jaden!"

"We're all right, just a little shaken."

"Admiral, their shields are down to 50."

"HK, are you on that turret yet?"

"Excited Statement: Yes, Master, but who am I shooting at, or is this indiscriminate slaughter?"

"By the Force," Jaden muttered. "I don't know, HK, maybe the Sith!"

"Disappointed Mockery: Oh, very well, Master."

"Dwoo"

"The Sith?" Lavek asked. Carth shook his head. The Sojourn was rocked by a powerful blast, throwing several of the crew to the deck.

"Admiral, get out of here!" Jaden's voice echoed through the bridge.

"Perhaps that is wise, Sir. We can't deflect this technology and they are picking off our fighters with ease." Said a commander as he rose to his feet. Carth spun around to see the Ebon Hawk being chased by several of the Sith fighters.

"Send Green squad to protect the Ebon Hawk." He said bracing for another shockwave as he shielded his eyes from the bright flash of an explosion.

"Sir, the Ebon Hawk has lost her shields."

"Jaden."

"I know, I know. Why are you still here? It's me they want. For once don't play the reluctant war hero and run!" Jaden shouted as she deftly maneuvered the Ebon Hawk around incoming fighters and cannon fire. "HK, anytime you want to let loose with those assassination protocols would be good."

"Excited Statement: With pleasure, Master."

Jaden watched as three of the Sith fighters disintegrated besides them. Jaden didn't have time to relax though as the Ebon Hawk shuddered beneath her. They had lost an engine. "T3?"

"Beep! Beep! Deet!"

"See what you can do, T3. I'm not planning on dying just yet." She said aloud then thought, _I haven't even had a chance to kissed him._

"Jaden, we're going to tractor beam you in." Carth told her, scared out of his wits. Whatever Force energy Jaden had used to preserve his life was screaming through him, uncontrolled. As he fought to remember his training and calm himself, the Sojourn was once again violently rocked by a shock wave.

"Admiral, we're losing our shields!"

"Prepare a tractor beam. Have all fighters converge on the Ebon Hawk's position and defender her until she's on board."

"Is he nuts? Are you nuts?" She shouted, "In case you haven't noticed, the bigger the target, the bigger the explosion! GO!"

"No, Jaden. No one's running this time."

"Oh geez, give the guy the Force and some training and he thinks he's a Master Jedi." She muttered.

"Beep beep?"

"Nothing, T3. HK, I'm going to circle the Sojourn and come up on the other side. I want you to obliterate anything that doesn't belong to the Republic. Admiral?"

"Jaden, that's suicide, that will take you closer to that cruiser."

"Admiral, I have one engine left and a T3 unit trying to hold that one together. HK will get his kill fix and it's easier for you to open a docking bay door for me to land then for you to bring me in. You put a tractor beam on the Ebon Hawk and it will crush it." Jaden shifted in her seat and took a deep breath, "Trust me Admiral. Just be ready to close the doors behind me."

"She'll never make, Carth." Lavek said quietly.

"Recall the fighters and be ready to make the jump to hyperspace the moment those doors are close."

"Yes sir." Lavek said before moving away to execute his orders.

"This is going to be tight, so be ready." Jaden said before giving up a small prayer.

Jaden turned the Ebon Hawk into a deep dive, skimming by the surface of the Sojourn before banking sharply to the left. "Be ready HK. T3? Target the cruisers engines with the cannons." She swung the Ebon Hawk sharply to the right, losing several of her pursuers against the hull of the Sith cruiser, the very large, very black, Sith cruiser. She dove once again and banking left, the engines came into range.

"Now, T3!" Several explosions rocked the ship, but she managed to hold it on course. Being this close to dark side energy caused Jaden's balance to tip and in her anger she sent out a thought of destruction and several more of the Sith fighters disintegrated behind her.

"Docking Bay 3, Jaden." Carth told her.

"I need more power T3, see what you can do." She shouted as the droid raced toward the engine room. Jaden continued to dodge cannon fire and fighters until she felt a slight boost in power.

"Good job, T3. Be ready to shut down the engine when I give the signal. HK, get out of the turret. I don't want to have to rebuild you."

"Statement: Coming, Master."

"Good luck, Jaden. May the force be with you." Carth said quietly.

"One thing I need to know, Admiral. Are you mad?" Jaden asked as she gave her restraints one final tug. There was silence then a quiet, "No." Jaden smiled and shook her head.

"Lying leads to the dark side, Admiral." Carth couldn't control his chuckle. "Be ready, we're coming in."

Carth had never wanted anything to do with the force; it was better left to the Jedi and those who understood it. However, at the moment he truly wished he had Bastila's Battle Meditation to get through this.

Lavek stood beside him, watching as the Ebon Hawk maneuvered its way to the Sojourn and hopefully safety. Carth's chuckle surprised him since that was the first hint of humor from his friend in many months.

"I take it this Jaden is a Jedi?" He asked. Carth shook his head.

"It's a long story, Kwyn. I'm going to Docking Bay 3. Concentrate all firepower on that cruiser. Maybe it will buy us some time."

"Yes, Admiral."

"Damn it!" Jaden swore as the Ebon Hawk took a direct hit. "T3, we lost the starboard stabilizer."

"Beep, dweet?"

"No, just hang on to your motivators." She muttered.

"Admiral Onasi, she's lost her starboard stabilizer. The Ebon Hawk can't take another shot at this to line up. I don't think she's going to make it." A crewmember informed him as he reached the viewing deck of the docking bay.

"Are the fighters recalled?"

"Yes Sir, although we lost quite a few. Admiral, who are these guys?"

"I'm not sure, Captain." Carth told the lie without blinking. He didn't think he should tell him the Sith, the True Sith, had revealed themselves. After seeing the size of the star cruiser, Carth didn't think it could be anyone else.

"Start closing the doors." Jaden's voice crackled over the comm unit.

"Excuse me?"

"Admiral, if I don't make this I won't have another chance and you need to leave."

"Jaden," he sighed

"I'm not one of your soldiers, Admiral." She snapped. Carth briefly closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Close the doors."

Jaden, having only one direction left to her, turned the Ebon Hawk and executed a tight climb before spinning the ship toward safety. At least she hoped it was safety. When she saw the doors of the docking bay, she knew it would be a tight fit. She pulled back on the throttle while firing the landing retro boosters on the left side, causing the ship to go vertical as she skimmed through the bay doors with inches to spare.

Jaden heard the loud clang of the doors as they sealed shut and the hazy order to go to hyperspace as she ordered T3 to shut down the engine. The Ebon Hawk righted itself and slammed into the deck, spinning once before hitting the reinforced firewall at the back of the hanger.

Carth let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding when the Ebon Hawk bounced and shuddered to a halt. He released the sealed door of the viewing deck and ran towards the ship. He knew Jaden was injured, her could feel it, a side effect of their Force bond. He reached the ship at the same time as the fire and medical teams.

"Cut open the landing ramp." He ordered as, without thinking, he jumped to the emergency hatch at the top. Once he wrested it open, he dropped down into a labyrinth of steel beams, jagged panels, and sparking wires. Small fires burned everywhere and the smoke was thick. When he reached the bridge, he realized Jaden had been torn from the command chair and lay unconscious by the navigation computer.

"Jaden? Jaden?" He called to her as he cleared away the debris surrounding her. "Talk to me Jaden. Where are you hurt?" He asked as he made a quick inspection of her arms and legs with his hands.

"Don't I get flowers and dinner first?" She moaned. Carth looked up from his inspection into cloudy green eyes. She had a gash on her forehead, but it didn't seem too bad, only oozing blood. His sigh of relief was audible as he learned forward and touched his head to hers.

"I'm sorry, Admiral. For the mess I mean." She whispered. Carth smiled briefly and shook his head.

"Ships I can replace. You, you're a little but harder." He told her before pulling her close and kissing her forehead.

Jaden allowed herself to be lifted in his arms. "Don't forget the droids," she said as she shut her eyes and drew strength from the Force to heal her. She didn't need the attention, but after the last year, she allowed herself to be cared for. Just the few minutes of peace would help get her through what was to come.

"Where are we going?" She mumbled

"I'm taking you to the med center."

"That's not necessary, but where is the ship headed?"

"Coruscant. We need to notify the Jedi Council that the Sith are here. I've sent a message to Bastila to expect us."

"We can't go to Coruscant. I need you to trust me on this."

"I'll need more than that, Jaden."

"Admiral, please." She whispered.

"Even in the hyperspace route it will take days to get there. That's all I can give you."

"Onasi . . ."

"No, Jaden," he cut her off, "I'm tired of the drama that always seems to come with the Sith and that damned ship. I'm tired of the secrets and Jedi speak." He said. _And, _he thought, _I'm scared to death what this might mean._

"There are . . ." she stopped. The stalwart soldier was back. Jaden wouldn't even bother at this time. She had to have Carth's cooperation and that would go a long way to ensuring everyone else's.

Jaden didn't protest her stint in the kolto tank or Carth's quiet reflection. She even followed docilely as a crewmember showed her to her quarters. There she found a change of clothes and some food. After eating and cleaning up, Jaden sat on the bed and meditated.

Carth sat in the livingroom of his quarters thinking about the last few hours. He had been sound asleep when he was informed the Ebon Hawk had been found. His stomach had dropped to the floor and was still there, well, when it hadn't been in this throat watching Jaden during the battle. He had brought the Sojourn here to try and find some clues about the Exile and what Revan had been doing. He never figured on being slapped upside the head with the Sith. His ship was damaged, and although not limping, it was close. It would take twice as long for them to reach Coruscant but he didn't know if that was a good thing or not. If the Sith showed up again they were goners.

Why would the Sith be after Jaden? What had she been doing in the past year to anger them so much they would follow her to Republic space? He had no doubt it was the True Sith. The whole shift in the force convinced him of that. Oh, he hated this. Not knowing what all these feeling meant, but they were roiling around inside of him making him edgy.

Jaden wanted to know if he was angry. He hadn't lied, exactly, upset would be a better word. The past year had been hell with his injuries taking months to heal, and although Visas's training in the ways of the force had helped him with the pain, knowing why he even needed it gnawed at him still.

Carth wandered to the small bar and poured a shot of brandy. After downing it and pouring another, he thought about Lavek's question about Jaden being a Jedi. Carth hadn't answered because he wasn't sure how Kwyn would react to knowing that he was the Jedi, something Jaden could never be, according to Visas. She never said why when he asked, but she was rather strong in her belief.

_Why are you here now?_ He thought. _How did you wind up with the droids and the Ebon Hawk? Where was the Exile? Are these really the True Sith?_ Unable to sit still, he stood and prowled his quarters like a caged beast. The Force, something he had managed to quiet within him, was rippling through Carth's body. He needed answers and was half way across the room when his comm-link sputtered to life. He checked the readout hoping it wasn't important, but it was Kwyn so he couldn't ignore it.

"Admiral, can you come to the maintenance bay? There's something you should be aware of."

"I'm on my way." He said putting aside his need to find Jaden and some answers. She wasn't going any where with the Ebon Hawk a crumpled mess in the docking bay. He did grin though as he opened the door. He didn't think anyone could crash land with as much grace as she did. Carth shook his head, what a mess.

"Pleased Statement: Admiral Onasi, it is good to see you again." HK said the moment Carth stepped into the droid maintenance bay.

"HK. No meat bag reference?"

"Disappointed Admittance: I am forbidden to address you as such."

Carth raised a brow but didn't pursue it. T3 beeped excitedly.

"T3."

"Sir, you know these droids?"

"Yes, we've . . . traveled together before."

Lavek didn't press for an explanation, merely nodded at one of the technicians.

"Admiral, while I was performing some maintenance and repair I came across," the man paused.

"Beep, deet, boop."

"A message? What message?" Carth asked looking at T3.

"That's just it, Sir. The message is voice printed."

"You brought me down here . . ." Carth said with a hint of anger.

"Sir, the message is coded in such a way that if I try anything else, the T3 unit will be destroyed. It's in a language I don't recognize."

"HK?" Carth asked frowning.

"Statement: Admiral, I am not the voiceprint you seek."

"But you know who is." Carth stated.

"Addendum: That knowledge is rather moot at this point, Admiral. All survived the encounter with the Sith so what is in the message has no bearing on this situation."

Carth had dealt with Revan's assassin droid before and knew he wouldn't reveal more than what was necessary. Neither would T3 for that matter. Carth left in disgust vowing to get answers.

When he reached Jaden's quarters, a crewmember was removing the remains of her meal, and there was no sign of Jaden. When he asked after her, the crewmen told him to try the training room.

Carth stopped short when he entered Training Room B. He had seen Bastila, Jolee Bindo, and Juhani use their light sabers in battle and even Revan couldn't match the graceful moves Jaden was performing with the training droid. The sweeping arcs, blocks and smooth motions looked more like a dance than battle moves. He watched as she dodged and turned, thrusted and scored critical hit after critical hit, a buzzer sounding each strike as true.

"We need . . . to find . . . the others." She told him between swings. Her blade glowed silver, almost white, a color he hadn't seen before and knew little about. His blade was blue, the sign of a Jedi Guardian, a soldier. Red represented the dark side, yellow a Jedi Sentinel, and green a Jedi Consular.

"Why?" He asked as the droid shutdown, indicating a kill. Jaden walked over to the droid, took the saber and tossed it to Carth. He caught it in one hand and it sprang to life. Jaden took a defensive position and waited. "I don't want to fight with you." He said thinking the saber felt odd in his hand. He hadn't used the one Visas had him make in months.

"Yes you do. You have questions and I'll answer while we duel. I need the practice," Carth raised a brow. "So do you."

"Visas told me you couldn't be a Jedi, does this mean you're Sith?" He asked still near the door.

"A force user is a force user, Onasi. It's the philosophy that may differ." She said. "Come on, are you Gizka?"

"What?"

"You know, furry little thing that hops around and coos. So ugly they're cute."

"I know what a Gizka is, Jaden." He sighed.

"They're also stupid little cowards."

"Goading me won't change my mind." He said with patience. Jaden switched off her saber and, with little effort, pulled the one from his hand.

"Then perhaps this will. Those are the True Sith out there, Onasi, and they have a new leader. The Exile. That's one of the things Revan came back to . . . warn you about. She had found the threat that was striking through the force. It killed her."

"The bombardment . . ."

"There was no bombardment, Onasi. These Sith don't really need the trappings of war. They're very powerful and pretty much think of something and it can happen." She said remembering her destruction of several fighters with merely a thought.

"But . . ."

"The bigger the target, the bigger the explosion."

"You said that before." He told her as he studied her. Something was different about her but he couldn't put his finger on it. It wasn't the taint of the dark side, she didn't seem "lighter", but there was a new energy flowing off of her.

"There is a balance to the universe, a balance to the Force. To maintain that balance there are two points where the light and dark sides are the strongest. What lies between, you could say, are conduits that channel that energy; keep it in balance. Those that are Force Sensitive or Force Adept use that energy."

"And draw from the light or dark side." He said, still not sure where she was going with this. Jaden nodded.

"The closer you come to these points, the greater your alignment can be effected. The Sith Empire is close to the dark side point and the Republic the light side?" He asked. Again, Jaden nodded.

"If the Sith were to take over, or destroy one of these conduits, the balance would be lost and tipped in their direction."

"The bigger the target . . ." he thought for a moment and then remembered what she said when Carth told her they were going to Coruscant, "What's to keep them from attacking Coruscant anyway? I'm assuming they know what you just told me." He said with a sinking feeling. Jaden nodded.

"Let me ask you this. If you knew where the General and the second in command were of an army, who would you target?"

"The General, I suppose." Carth said after a moment. "Why?"

"What if the second in command had information that would end the war quicker?"

"Jaden, what are you getting at," he said as he began to wander the room, "What does this have to do with you showing up on the edge of the Unknown Regions with the Sith hot on your heels?"

Jaden didn't answer, instead watched as Carth work out the answer on his own. His eyes snapped to her.

"You said it was you they wanted. Why, Jaden? Why do the Sith want you?" He asked coming to her and putting his hands on her shoulders to keep her from walking away. "Jaden?"

"I know where the dark side point is." As if he was burned, he took a step back. "That's why we need to find the others, I need help, Onasi. I need you." She told him quietly.

Carth ignored the zip of longing racing down his spine. "I'm no Jedi, at least not what would be needed. You need Bastila, Atton, Visas or anyone else." He told her turning away. She reached out and touched his arm, sending a shockwave of energy through him.

"I'll need blasters too. Someone to pilot the Ebon Hawk. Someone else for HK to pester. T3 misses you." She said trying to convince him.

Carth, unable to handle the contact any longer, stepped away. She didn't know what she was asking him to do. He wanted peace in his life. He wanted to return to Coruscant, pick up Dustil and return home to Telos. He wanted to be a part of the rebuilding. He was tired of the destruction that the Mandalorian and Jedi Civil Wars have brought to the galaxy. If he thought she would . . . whoa, he told himself. Most of all he needed to step away from her and try to put their connection to rest.

At one point, Carth thought she was dead because he could no longer 'feel' her. She told him their bond would fade in time, but it hadn't been long enough apparently. He didn't want her in his head, or his heart.

"I've ordered the repairs for the Ebon Hawk. The ship will be ready in a few days. I'll drop you and the droids off wherever you want, but I'm taking the Sojourn back to Coruscant and will tell Bastila and the Jedi Council what is going on."

"Well then. I can't force you to go." She told him. Carth shook his head and smiled.

"Yes, you probably can. But you won't."

"No, Admiral, I won't" Jaden walked passed him toward the door. "Even the Force doesn't always get its way." And with that cryptic comment, she walked out the door.

"Damn Jedi speak." Carth muttered and shook his head.

Jaden returned to her quarters and sank heavily in a chair.

"Inquiry: Master, I take it your meeting with the Admiral did not go as you planned?"

"No HK, it didn't," she said looking up, "Wow, did you get a bath? You look like a protocol droid off to negotiations."

"Affronted Statement: Oh, Master, bite your tongue."

T3 whirled into the room

"You look great too, T3." The little droid beeped his thanks and then asked about Carth.

"He wants his peace, T3. I can't say I blame him after the past few years, but if I don't . . ." she trailed off.

"Inquiry: Master, what if you told him the truth?"

"He doesn't trust me, HK. And, before you say anything, no, I will not exploit his feelings for me. I'll just have to find another way."

Jaden didn't see Carth after their discussion in the training room. She thought about seeking him out, but what would she tell him? _By the way, Carth, I'm the light side point in the galaxy and the reason I need you is because you're storing part of my force energy. I'll need that back when I face the Exile and destroy us both so there will be balance to the Force again. After you witness my physical death, you can return to Telos and get on with your life._ Or, she could destroy a few dead asteroids. . . no, that would bring the Exile in a hurry. Maybe Dustil . . . no, she told HK she wouldn't exploit his feelings or his family.

When the Ebon Hawk was ready, a few days later as promised, Jaden was still no closer to finding a solution to her problem. The droids were loaded and they were ready to lift off when she asked about Carth. She was told he had been called to the bridge and Jaden knew a lie when she heard one, but didn't press General Lavek. She only offered a smile and what she hoped was a nod of understanding.

"Well, General Lavek, you'll pass my thanks to Admiral Onasi as well?"

"Certainly."

Jaden boarded the Ebon Hawk and began the preflight check. She felt one twinge of regret as she looked around. So much of the old ship had been replaced it almost looked brand new.

"HK?" she asked as she sat in the command chair, new and way more comfortable than the old one and began flipping switches that brought the engines online, "You find the tracking device yet?"

"Admiring Response: Yes Master, it was quite cleverly hidden in the medical bay."

"T3, is the Navicomputer clean?"

"Beep boop"

"Good. All right boys, we're off."

Jaden looked out the window briefly as the bay doors opened while T3 beeped beside her, "No, T3. The Admiral relinquished his right to know what's going on when he decided not to help," She tugged at her restraints, "Once we're in the hyperspace route I want you to change course for Katarr. We'll start with Visas."


	3. Chapter 3

Coruscant. The heart of the Republic and home to the Jedi Council. The Jedi temple and library rose above many of the buildings and served as a beacon of what was good and just in the galaxy. The Force was strong here; one of the conduits Jaden had spoken about. As his shuttle approached the landing pad, Carth realized his questions still had not been answered. Jaden had talked about something else, which only raised more questions in his mind. He didn't know what he was going to tell Bastila and the Jedi Council; they would have to figure it out on their own.

When he stepped off the shuttle, he was pleased to see Dustil waiting for him. They had come a long way since their confrontation at the Sith Academy on Korriban, but Carth knew he would never be able to make up for the years he thought Dustil was dead and Dustil believing his father had abandoned him and his mother.

"This is a pleasant surprise." Carth told him as they embraced. Dustil was his height, shared his dark hair, dark eyes and body build, but that's where the similarities ended. Dustil favored his mother and when Carth looked at him, he felt a pang of loss and failure.

"Bastila told me what happened and that you were on your back. How's the Sojourn?"

"Beat up, but in one piece. They'll get her fixed up." He said with a sad smile. The Sojourn became his flagship when he was promoted to Admiral. It was one of the larger ships in the Republic Navy and Carth was thrilled when it became his. He was like a kid in a toy store for the first few months, jumping from battle to battle to really see what the ship could do. It hadn't disappointed him. She was sleek, fast and tough. Even Jaden crash landing the Ebon Hawk, hadn't damaged the flight deck of the hanger bay. The Ebon Hawk, on the other hand, didn't fare as well and it took most of the spare parts from the Sojourn to rebuild the ship. Hell, he even had to give up a spare command chair, since the original had been ripped from its casings during the crash. He only hoped Jaden would appreciate that he replaced the kitchen. _Of all the things to survive a crash_, he thought the flimsy kitchen area would have crumpled, but it didn't. At least she would eat better.

"Jaden? The Ebon Hawk?" Dustil asked hesitantly.

Carth stopped walking and studied his son who knew the history and his feeling about both the woman and the ship, but he also knew Dustil wouldn't be here without Jaden's aid so he overlooked the infatuation his son seemed to have with her. Dustil revealed only bits and pieces of the time he had spent with Jaden and Carth reluctantly respected that. He knew there was more, but he never pressed his son for the details.

"Fine, the last time I saw them." He told Dustil trying to keep the anger and frustration out of his voice. The tracking device Lavek had placed on the Ebon Hawk went dead before they left the hanger and the Navicomputer scrambled their signal when they jumped to hyperspace. Why he thought he could get away with placing the tracking devices he didn't know, but Carth was bone-deep pissed he didn't know where she was. Even trying to find her through their bond had gotten him nothing.

"They're not with you?" Dustil asked stunned.

Carth drew his brows together, "Is that why you came to meet me? To see Jaden?" He asked. Dustil frowned.

"No, I wanted to make sure you're all right. Jaden would have been a bonus." The boy snapped and began walking away.

"Dustil . . . Dustil! I'm sorry." Carth told him when he caught up to the steaming mad young man, "Wait! I'm sorry. I'm exhausted, frustrated and angry. I lost a lot of good men a few days ago, when that force-forsaken ship showed up. All I want to do now is report what happened to the Jedi Council and then get some sleep."

"Well, we shouldn't keep them waiting then." Dustil replied rather stiffly. Carth released a quiet breath. Dustil was angry and at this point, Carth didn't have the energy to care.

* * *

The journey to the Council's chambers was long and silent. Both men kept their own counsel but Carth wasn't too worried about it. Dustil, being a member of Bastila's staff would find out all the details here shortly and, hopefully, understand where Carth's feelings came from. He kept his chuckle silent. He must be more exhausted than he thought to believe that. When they arrived, the hallowed halls of the temple were quietly busy as Jedi and scholars alike moved about and spoke in softened tones. Carth followed Dustil through the maze of hallways until they reached the council chambers near the top of the tower. Dustil open the doors and stepped aside.

"Aren't you coming in?" Carth asked.

"I'm not allowed . . ."

"It's all right, Dustil, this time. I'm sure your father doesn't want to repeat his story and it will save you time going through the archives." Bastila said as she approached them, "Carth, I'm glad you're home safe." Carth noticed Dustil had a chagrined look but said nothing. Maybe his previous thought wasn't so farfetched.

Carth accepted Bastila's embrace and gave her a light squeeze. Their relationship started with a Sith attack eight years ago. In the beginning, it suffered through mistrust and betrayal, but they had put that aside over the years and Bastila had proven herself a good friend. "It's good to be back."

"Admiral Onasi," Master Vander greeted him, "Welcome home."

"Master Vandar. Where is the rest of the Council?" Carth asked.

"Have a seat," Bastila motioned to one of the chairs, "Master Vandar felt it would be best, for the moment, that only those involved with this in the past be present. Since the others . . ." Bastila trailed off. Everyone knew of the Exile's murderous rampage against the council that exiled him from the order when he believed they had cut him off from the Force. Carth nodded, sat, and began from the beginning, leaving only a few of the details out of the telling.

"The True Sith?" Master Vandar asked.

"That's what Jaden said, sir." and Carth knew in his gut.

"And they were after her?"

Carth nodded, "She said she knew where the dark side point, she called it, was. That's why they were after her."

"Troubling." Vandar stated with concern and a far away look.

"What do you mean, Master Vandar?" Bastila asked.

"Did she say anything else?" The old and wise Jedi master asked. Carth thought for a moment and shook his head.

"Hmmm. The light side is not strong enough to survive an attacked by the dark. This Jaden has put herself in grave danger." Vandar said quietly.

"Danger? What are you talking about?" Carth demanded. Bastila watched his reaction but said nothing. Inside, however, was a different story. For years, she had hidden her feelings for Carth and it tore her apart. When Revan asked him to wait for her, Bastila was livid because she knew he would do it. When Revan died last year, Bastila had foolishly thought that perhaps her chance would come, but it hadn't. Instead, Carth had turned away from her and everyone else for that matter, until he returned to active duty. When Bastila found out he had gone to the Unknown Regions, she knew he was after finding Jaden, despite what he told Vice Admiral Dodonna. Carth was a good man, and although the Jedi frowned on such attachments, Bastila felt they could have made it work. Now, Jaden occupied his mind and, Bastila feared, his heart.

"She plans to face the Sith alone. This is dangerous for one who is . . . untrained."

"She won't be alone. She went to find the others." Carth told Vandar "I told Jaden she should come here. All she said was 'the bigger the target, the bigger the explosion'. She said these Sith didn't need conventional weapons, the trappings of war she called them. The Sith need only to think what they want to happen and it will."

"If that was the case, why haven't they attacked?" Dustil asked.

"They must find the light side point. When they do, they will destroy it and they will not need to attack. The dark side will consume what is left of the light." Vandar answered.

"But to maintain a balance in the Force doesn't the light need to exist?" Dustil asked. Vandar started to speak but Carth interrupted him.

"Jaden mentioned that if one of the 'conduits' was destroyed then the balance would be tipped in their favor. If the Sith destroyed enough of these conduits then the Jedi would respond, wouldn't you?" He asked standing to pace the austere chamber that looked out over the city. Neither Bastila nor Vandar responded, "They would find this light side point through the process of elimination. Again, no need to attack the Republic"

"Then the other places, strong in the Force need to be warned." Dustil added.

"Carth, it is not a place but a . . ."

"Bastila." Vandar interrupted

"But a what?" Carth asked. Bastila looked to Master Vandar, who had his eyes closed in meditation. The tension in the chamber grew heavy in the silence.

"A person," Dustil whispered, "These points Jaden spoke about are people. The Exile. The dark side point is the Exile." Master Vandar sighed and nodded.

"What? Are you saying Jaden is trying to find the Exile because she believes him to be this point in the dark side?" Carth asked as he sat heavily in one of the chairs.

"Do you know where she is?" Bastila asked.

Carth shook his head; "She disabled the tracking devices on the Ebon Hawk before she even left the hanger. Why would she do something so stupid? Jedi are supposed to be smart, aren't you?"

"Jaden is forbidden to be a Jedi." Vandar said ignoring his question. Carth gave him a disgusted look and rolled his eyes.

"No offense, Master Vandar, but the light saber she was wielding in the training room tells me otherwise."

"A saber?"

"Yes, with a silver blade."

"Silver? But only . . ." Again, Bastila was interrupted by Master Vandar.

"We will pick up this discussion at another time. I suspect Admiral that you would like to rest."

Carth was tempted to argue, but he didn't have it in him at the moment. He nodded his agreement and he and Dustil left the council chambers.

"Master Vandar, "Bastila began after the door closed, "According to the Jedi Chronicles, only one may wield the silver bade, and that one is so strong in the Force it is believed they are its embodiment."

"The point in the Force."

"Is Jaden the light side point? No, she is strong in the Force, but not that strong . . . is she?"

"No. But she has hidden some of her power."

"Hidden the Force? How?"

"By healing old wounds." Vandar told her.

********** Katarr **********

Katarr was a dead world. Darth Nilous had seen to that when he drained the Force from the planet. The only one who survived was Visas Marr, a Miraluka, a species so strong in the Force they lost the ability of sight, but perhaps gained a better one since they saw through the Force, which allowed them to see more than most people. Visas had first met the Exile when her master, Darth Nilous, sent her to investigate a disturbance in the Force. The Exile, at that time was one of the last of the Jedi. Ultimately, Visas joined the Exile and defeated Darth Nilous at the second battle of Telos, but Visas never fell as far to the dark side that the Exile had. When Jaden had rescued Visas and the droids from Malachor V, Visas had returned to a neutral position in the Force. She had vowed to return to Katarr and try to rebuild her life from the ruins. The only time she had left was when Jaden asked her to train Carth when he was physically able. Now, Jaden needed her help again.

When the Ebon Hawk dropped out of hyperspace, it was greeted by the barren planet. There was no energy to sustain any type of life and it pulled at Jaden as a thirsty man clamors for water in a desert. It physically hurt, but Jaden had no choice. She knew it would be worse if she had all her power, so perhaps it was a blessing that she wasn't as strong.

"Beep?"

"Plot a course for the third moon. The planet itself won't sustain any type of life."

"Admiring Statement: Master, this Darth Nilous was very thorough in his destruction. It's quite impressive."

"You wouldn't think so, HK, if I let your power cells die."

"Obvious statement: Master, then I would be useless." Jaden didn't say what popped into her mind, but she did stifle the laugh at T3's soft beep."

"HK, if I needed power to survive and you were strong with that power; would you still be impressed if I slowly drained your energy to sustain me?"

"Answer: Why no Master, I would be dead." HK responded. He moved to the window to look out. "Addendum: I see your point, Master."

"Although it goes against your protocols, try to remember that total destruction is not necessarily a good thing. There, that looks like a good spot." Jaden deftly managed to land the Ebon Hawk in a clearing close to some buildings on the desert moon. "Okay. You two stay with the ship. I shouldn't be long, but just in case . . . well, you know what to do." Jaden told them as she shrugged into her jacket and hooked her light saber to her utility belt. "Wish me luck."

"Statement: Master, the Jedi do not believe in luck. Revan told me that."

"I'm not a Jedi."

The settlement looked deserted, but then the heat could have driven everyone inside. It took several doors before she found one that was answered. The old woman was a Miraluka, dressed in a blue robe with her eye shield firmly in place. "What do you want?" She demanded.

"I'm looking for Visas Marr. Is she here?"

"No." and the old woman started to slam the door, but Jaden halted its rapid progress barely moving her finger.

"Where can I find her?"

"Are ye Sith?"

"Do I look like I'm Sith?"

After a few moments the old woman took a step back and gasped, "By the Force!" she whispered, "She said you would come. None believed, but Visas . . ."

"Do you know where Visas is?" Jaden asked again, trying, through the Force to calm the now nervous woman.

"The house at the end."

"Thank you." Jaden gave her a smile and backed away. Now, however, she felt every pair of Miraluka eyes watching her as she walked down the dirt path. When she reached the mentioned house, she knocked. As beautiful as ever, Visas opened the door.

"I need your help. The Exile has returned with the full might of the True Sith."

"I . . ."

"Please, Visas."

"Where is Admiral Onasi?" She asked as she stepped aside to allow Jaden to enter, "You haven't told him, have you?" Visa asked in an accusatory tone.

Jaden shook her head as she entered the small adobe dwelling. It was sparsely furnished, a chair, table, bed and computer console, but us was blessedly cool and Jaden shed her jacket. "It must be his decision, Visas."

"You could make him."

"His choice." She said remembering what Carth said in the training room. She could make him, but Jaden wouldn't do that.

"And when he learns his inaction has cost the galaxy and the dark side reigns? He would never forgive himself and hate you."

"A risk, yes, but he would soon realize that the force power given to him would be enough to help the light side flicker to life."

"You sound sure that this will happen."

"No, but T3 will make sure it does." Visas nodded. Jaden went on, "I can't force him to do this. It's treacherous ice I walk on and I can't just spring it on him. He's a decent man that deserves some peace in his life. I won't manipulate whatever feelings he has for me. The Sith, Revan, all left scars on him. I won't rip open or add to that."

"Jaden, are your feelings for the Admiral growing deeper?"

"Jedi are not allowed to love, though it is difficult to avoid or suppress those feelings." _I didn't say love, _Visas thought.

"You're forbidden to be a Jedi."

"So I'm told," Jaden sat down in the lone chair, "Why did you tell Carth I was forbidden to be a Jedi?"

"Are you saying it not true?"

"No, but I would like to know."

"He asked why you hadn't stayed to train him. After all, you were the one who gave him the Force to begin with. I told him your people were forbidden to undertake the teachings of the Jedi."

"My people," Jaden thought for a moment, "I have no people. Didn't he ask?"

"I told him I knew very little about you, only that you were strong in the Force. By the way, where did you go?" Visas asked

"I went home. Then I went in search of the Exile." Jaden told her with a sigh.

"And you found him." Visas said moving about the room.

"Actually, he "found" me, so to speak. Fortunately I was able to escape."

"But now he's after you." She said quietly. Jaden only nodded and preceded telling Visas about the encounter, her escape and ultimately finding Carth and the Sojourn at the edge of the Unknown Regions.

"Where he has spent most of his time." Visas told Jaden. They sat in contemplative silence for some time before Jaden spoke again.

"Will you help me?"

"You must do something for me first."

* * *

" _. . . Carth! No!"_

"_Revan?"_

"_No!" Revan shouted over the sounds of screams and crumbling buildings. That's when he was buried under debris falling from the sky . . ._

" _. . . Jaden, I'm begging you. You have to save his life."_

"_Revan, I can't. It's forbidden."_

"_You can't? Or you won't. You are the only one with the power to do this. He must be saved."_

"_Revan . . ."_

Carth bolted awake from the dream bathed in sweat and breathing heavily. It was the day of Dustil's graduation when the Sith attacked, but there was no bombardment. Jaden had said that and now he believed it. There was no laser cannon fire; the buildings around the courtyard had just exploded. He fell back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. There was something niggling at the back of his mind, but he couldn't bring it forward. He was unconscious, so why would this dream seem so real, he thought as his head started to pound.

Even though the sun had yet to rise, Carth knew he wouldn't be able to sleep, so he got up, showered and dressed for the day. He pushed the dream aside, the situation with Jaden and the Sith and concentrated on the repairs necessarily for the Sojourn. The carbon scoring on the hull was evidence of laser cannon. That was real, that he could deal with, not the fact that the Sojourn could have been destroyed with a single thought. Why hadn't they destroyed the Ebon Hawk in just that manner? There had to be some limit to this power of the Sith. Put it away, he told himself as he left his room.

Carth was working with one of the technicians on the bridge when Bastila found him. She watched as he worked closely with the young man. One of the things that made Carth such an outstanding commander was the fact that he treated his crew with fairness, taking the time with each of the crew when needed.

Bastila could feel the tension streaming off him as he worked. She could feel his attention was divided between his own thoughts and what he was doing. She could feel his conflicted emotions about Jaden. He had put them away at one point in time, but with Jaden's return, the love/hate relationship had resurfaced stronger than ever. Carth had waited years for Revan to return, and when she did, he never had the chance to talk to her, as the academy was attacked and Carth critically injured. When he regained consciousness it was Jaden who had told him Revan had died, and Bastila watched helplessly as Carth went through his emotional demoralization. He spoke to no one after that day, Jaden, a virtual stranger to them all, told him Revan traded her life for his. It was still weeks before Carth began to improve and months for him to really recover his emotional balance. Carth had shut out everyone but Dustil and Visas, who trained him to control his connection to the Force that had saved his life. Bastila was a little put out, oh whom was she kidding, she was pissed that only Visas was allowed to train Carth. Visas had threatened to go to the Council when Bastila tried to help, to get her officially banned from the training rooms. Anyway, when he felt strong enough, Carth sent Visas on her way and returned to active duty, taking the Sojourn to patrol the edges of the Unknown Regions.

The situation was precarious to say the least, but if Jaden really was a Force embodier . . . Bastila let the thought die. It was only a legend.

" _. . . You should have never come back. You brought the Sith with you and now look at what you're unholy alliance has brought. You killed him, Revan . . ."_

"No." Carth whispered

"Admiral, are you okay?" The young technician asked when he noticed the pallor on Carth's face. He jerked back and nodded.

"Carry on." He said to the young man and turned away, only to find Bastila watching him curiously.

"What is it, Carth?" She asked.

"Nothing. I need to go."

He told her as he moved by to go to his quarters. The walk seemed eternally long but as soon as the doors closed behind him, he leaned back and slid to the floor. _What was wrong with him_, he asked himself. This wasn't a dream, it was a vision, a flashback, and it terrified him. Had he died? Why was this happening now? Why had Jaden's returned effected him this strongly? He plowed his hands through his hair. There was no other explanation than Jaden's return to known space. Carth scrubbed his face with his hands, worked on calming his runaway heart, and labored breathing. When he felt able, he stood and went to the communications link to contact Kwyn.

"Yes, Admiral"

"Any luck on locating the Ebon Hawk?"

"Not yet."

"Have you notified the authorities on that list of systems I gave you?"

"Yes, Admiral. They'll contact us at the first sign of the Ebon Hawk." Kwyn told him.

"I'll be in my quarters," and he ended the transmission. Carth thought about lying down but dismissed the idea, opting to pace the spacious living room instead. He tried to ignore the buzzer at his door but it was persistent. He knew it was Bastila and Carth knew she wouldn't give up that easily.

"What is wrong with you?" She demanded when he opened the door.

"I'm exhausted Bastila, that's what's wrong." He told her.

"Carth, you went ashen on the bridge and then rushed out of there as if you had Kath hounds on your heels."

"It's nothing. I just didn't feel well."

"In all the years I've known you, you don't get sick. Shot at and blown up, yes, sick no." She insisted.

"Well there's a first time for everything, Bastila." He snapped.

"Damn it, Carth, you . . . you had a vision, didn't you?" Although she started out loudly, her tone softened by the end.

"It was nothing. I was just remembering something Jaden said, that's all." Not to him necessarily but . . .

"What? Carth, what did she say? It could be important."

"It's not. It was a private conversation when it took place and that's where it will stay." He said frowning. Bastila finally noticed he was still by the door. "Why are you here anyway? On the Sojourn, I mean." he asked.

"I came to see you. To see if you remembered anything else."

"Not as it relates to the Sith and this situation." He told her abruptly. Bastila was prepared to push it, but when Carth was in a stubborn mood, there was no moving him.

"I'll tell Master Vandar. I'll be going to Dantooine for a few days." She told him, moving to leave, "Carth," she stopped at the door, "If you need to talk, I'm here for you. You know that, right?"

"I know." he sighed. After Bastila had left, he notified Dustil he would be staying on the Sojourn and then laid down.

"Where are you, Jaden?" He whispered before closing his eyes.

* * *

Light years away, Jaden looked up at the stars from the surface of Katarr, and pushed Carth's whispered voice from her mind. She promised to restore the Force to this planet that had been ruthlessly stripped by Visas's former master. Visas payment for her help against the Sith. It wouldn't be much, but even a seed, given proper care, would grow in a barren wasteland.

_~ It is done, child. ~_

* * *

"…_No, I came to warn him. To tell him the Sith are coming for something else."_

"_What, Revan, what are they coming for?"_

"_For . . ."_

"_For me! You betrayed the Force and me for what? What were you to gain by betraying the Republic, the Jedi, and everything they stand for, Revan?" . . ._

Carth opened his eyes and stared out at the stars.

* * *

"Thank you, Jaden."

"It will take time to grow."

"Yes, but the Miraluka will see that it happens." Visas said. Jaden smiled and nodded. It was a small thing and one Jaden had been given permission to do, so she was glad she could it. After standing by and watching so much destruction in the galaxy, one small act made Jaden feel better about what she was.

"We should get going. It's getting dark." Jaden said as she picked up her gear and headed for the Ebon Hawk. The strain was becoming too much for her.

"Where are we going next?" Visas asked falling in beside her.

"I don't know. Who would be easier, Atton or Canderous?"

"Canderous?" Visas asked confused.

"Hmmm, Mandalore." Jaden told her then realized Visas had stopped. Jaden turned around and looked at her.

"Mandalore is a prisoner of General Vaklu."

"What?" Jaden asked shaking her head. This wasn't good.

"Not to long after the Exile left Onderon for the second time, Vaklu attempted to secede from the Republic. It failed, but in the ensuing chaos, Vaklu accused Mandalore of causing all the unrest and had him arrested for treason. He's been sitting in a prison on Onderon for the past two years. I thought you would know."

"My . . . abilities have become limited. What of the rest of the Mandalorians?" Jaden asked, "Are they still on Dxun?"

"I don't know."

"Damn it. Let's go find Atton. We'll need his help to get Canderous."

"We're going to bust Mandalore out of an Onderon prison?"

"If you can think of another way, let me know," Jaden said as she started up the ramp of the Ebon Hawk, "T3, plot a course for Nar Shaddaa."


	4. Chapter 3A

It was very late when Dustil turned off the holo-record he had been studying. According to the Jedi Archives, there were two places in the galaxy where the Force was at its strongest. One such place was known as the Valley of the Jedi. This was supposedly where the Midiclorians, the microscopic life form that created the Force, purportedly lived. The higher the number of

Midiclorians someone had, the stronger they were in the Force. These individuals, when found would then be trained to be Jedi. According to legend, once a millennia, a person would be born, so strong in the Force that they would be able to restore a balance to the Force and all living creatures. A clean slate so to speak. This individual was trained in the Force but was forbidden to chose either the light or dark side. They had to stay neutral. When the time was right, this person would make themselves known through the silver saber they wielded. Dustil could find no record of this ever having happened so he was left with a great story but no proof. Yet, he couldn't dismiss what his father had said in the Jedi Council chamber or Master Vandar's reaction.

Jaden had been there when he woke up in the medical facility at the academy. They had never met before, but Dustil knew she could be trusted and they formed a solid friendship in a matter of moments. Jaden had assured him his father was alive and taught him a technique to get through the worst of the pain. They had talked for hours about nothing important, but also about his time at the Sith academy and the events that led to his joining the Sith.

There had been times when he would awaken to find Jaden deep in meditation in his room. When he asked her about it, she joked she was healing the galaxy. Maybe, he thought now, it wasn't a joke. Dustil remembered clearly the day she left. She had come to see him one more time to wish him well.

"Be mindful of what we have talked about. Remember your lessons."

"Where are you going? Why are you leaving?" He asked disappointed.

"It's time for me to go. You're healed, your father is out of danger, and it's time for me to face my destiny, as it is yours as well."

"I don't want you to go." Dustil pouted, clearly upset that she was leaving.

"There are journeys in our life that must be faced. Sometimes these journeys need to be done alone." She told him with a soft smile as she took his hand.

"Will I ever see you again?" He asked

"If my journey brings me to you." Jaden told him quietly then leaned forward and kissed his forehead. A curious warmth spread through him, "May the Force be with you." she whispered and left.

Since that day, he had been trying to find Jaden, and now he knew why he couldn't. She had gone to the Unknown Regions. Now, she was back and in trouble. She needed help and he wanted to repay her for all she had done for him and his father.

His father never talked about the hours he spent with Jaden. Dustil knew his father was angry with her at first, and when she left, he seemed to be less irritated. However, the physical and emotional toll on his father had been much greater. Being critically injured and losing Revan had nearly destroyed him.

Dustil remembered how angry Carth had been when he learned he was bonded through the Force with Jaden. His anger had been so strong that the dark side had taken over his father and the sheer power of it was physically destroying Jaden. She had tried to calm him, but that only angered his father more. It was Dustil who finally managed to get through the red haze. Carth at last, realized what was happening when Dustil's cries of "You're killing her!" sank in. Jaden was bent over, her arms hugging her middle, and was leaning heavily against the wall in his room. Carth had taken one step in her direction and she shrank further away telling him, "No, don't come near me." His father had apologized and when she looked up, there were tears streaming down her face. Jaden said nothing, only straightened the best she could and left.

"What have I done, Dustil? She saved my life and I almost killed her. How?"

"The bond," was all Dustil could think of at the time. Again, he wasn't so sure of it now.

If Jaden was this Force embodier, then would exposure to one side of the Force or the other effect her so strongly that the neutrality they were to maintain was compromised? So much so, that it would kill her?

If balance was the key, then Jaden couldn't align herself with one side of the Force or the other. She would have to travel with an equal number of light versus dark or others that were neutral. _Think_, he told himself as he walked home. His father said she had T3 and HK with her. Mechanical, but light and dark nonetheless. Jaden had sent Visas to train his father in the Force, which at the time made no sense considering Bastila, Atton and Juhani were available. Now, however, it made perfect sense. The others were firmly on the path of the light whereas Visas was truly neutral. But Jaden had left, he thought.

"Okay," he muttered, "Two capable droids and a neutral Jedi. Who else, Jaden, would you seek out to help you." When Dustil reached home, he went straight to his computer and booted it up. _If I was going up against the True Sith,_ he thought, _who would I want with me? Jedi sure, but I would also need power. _Power . . . Power . . . "Canderous", Dustil whispered and began his search. Canderous Ordo, now known as the new Mandalore, was in prison on Onderon. He didn't think Jaden would stage a prison break, but he flagged Canderous and downloaded the information onto his data pad.

Dustil also knew that Jaden liked Atton, but he was now light sided. _But_, he thought, _if Jaden had Atton and Canderous that would balance each other out_. He continued to search other names but discarded each one. Anyone on the Council was out. Zaalbar, the Wookie, had returned to Kashyyyk to take his father's place. His friend Mission Vao was on Tatooine with her brother. Bao Dur had died on Malachor V when the Ebon Hawk had crashed, the others, the Disciple and Mira, were now Jedi historians and dedicated to knowledge and the light side. The rest were dead. Based on past history, six people wouldn't be enough. Well, Dustil thought, you just found number seven. He closed down the computer and went to gather his things.

* * *

Carth paced his quarters waiting and dreading the next vision . . . dream . . . memory? He tried to puzzle it out, but he couldn't. He didn't understand what was happening. When Bastila was linked to Revan, it was memories of the Star Forge that they shared when Revan had become the Dark Lord of the Sith. Malak had injured Revan and Bastila had saved her life by creating a bond. The hope was that Revan's memories would lead the Jedi to the source of power of Malak and the Sith and end the Jedi Civil War. It had worked, Revan leading the Republic to the Star Forge and destroying Malak. Revan had returned to the light side and defeated the Sith.

About one year later, after helping to clear out pockets of resistance, Revan had told Carth she needed to leave. He wanted to know why, but Revan never gave him an explanation. She only asked him to serve the Republic and that one-day she would return. If he went with her, he could die.

For eight years, he did what she asked and waited. Apparently, he was beginning to think, Revan had played them all for fools. Carth didn't want to believe that. He had loved her, believed in her. He wanted answers to his questions and the one person who could help him was nowhere to be found. Or, at least, she didn't want to be.

He was an idiot. He should have gone with Jaden. She was in danger and he could have helped her, but he was so conflicted emotionally when it came to her that he did nothing, hoping his feelings would level themselves out. Add in his feelings about Revan and everything he felt for either woman was a tangled mess. He needed to find Jaden.

* * *

"The last time I was on Nar Shaddaa, there was so much noise, suffering and pain. Why would a Jedi come here?" Visas asked as they dropped out of hyperspace above the moon.

"It's a good place to hide. Besides, think of what Atton likes to do and it makes sense." Jaden said as she adjusted switches and prepared to land, "He may be a Jedi, but he was a scoundrel first with plenty of vices." she added.

"Beep, bweep, doop."

"Yeah, this is the place to satisfy your vices, T3. So, with that in mind, let's start with the refugee sector." Jaden said angling in that direction.

"Dwoo" The little droid whined. Visas smiled and patted his dome.

"No one will sell you this time, T3. I promise."

"Goading Statement: Oh, Master, what if there is a better model?" HK asked trying to get his little counterpart worked up.

"Well HK, I wasn't aware of anyone building new assassin droids, but we can certainly check, if you'd like. I could download your memory for you." Jaden told him.

"Indignation: Master! I was speaking of the T3 unit, not myself."

"Oh, I misunderstood." Jaden said innocently.

T3 quietly beeped beside her and Jaden chuckled as she found the landing pad she wanted.

"So, should we try the Pazaak den or the cantina first?" Visas asked. T3 beeped.

"No, T3, we don't know if he's here, but I'm betting he is. Even if he isn't, we'll at least get a drink and lose some credits." Jaden said as she shut down the engines.

"Statement: Perhaps, Master, we should ask the local authorities if Atton Rand is even here."

"No. If someone knew we were looking for him they might tip him off."

"And the Republic," Visas added, "It would be one way to bring him here."

Jaden shook her head, "I doubt he would show-up, sending someone else to pick me up and take me to Coruscant."

"And that can't happen."

"No," Jaden said as she threw a dark blue robe over her shoulders and adjusted the hood over her head, "It can't". She adjusted her belt, pushing her light saber further back. "T3, I need you to monitor the comm channels. If you hear anything about the Republic looking for us let me know. Also, monitor those frequencies I downloaded, may as well know what everyone else is up to as well. HK, I need you to come with me."

"Statement: I am ready to serve, Master."

"I'll check the other sectors while you check the Pazaak den. That's the mostly likely place to find him."

"Agreed. We check in every 30 minutes." Jaden said as she pushed the button to open the loading ramp. Even that switch was new. _What did you do to my ship? _she thought. A new command chair and now this? She liked that old chair; it had character, despite the worn spots, the ripped leather and the stuffing falling out. Now she was going to have to figure out all new switches?

"Good luck, Jaden."

"Thanks." She replied and watched Visas move away.

"Statement: Master, I keep telling you the Jedi don't believe in luck."

"And I keep telling you, I'm not a Jedi. Let's go, it could be a long night."

And it was. Jaden and HK had found a table that would give them a clear view of the Pazaak den and the door. Most of the patrons came to stay and gamble but there were some that didn't stay long, either being wiped out quickly by the sharks or just calling it an early night. A few fights had broken out and Jaden needed to rescue her drink when a flying body came to close, but other than that, it was quiet and she knew that HK was cataloging everything that was happening around them. Jaden took the opportunity to rest her eyes for a few moments. She knew she shouldn't, but the boredom was crushing and Jaden felt alone. If she was careful, she would be able to draw from the energy of Nar Shaddaa and boost her own reserves. She closed her eyes and let down the wall she had mentally erected around her. The pain, sorrow, suffering and agony bombarded her causing her to jerk her eyes open and gasp.

"Query: Master?"

"I'm fine. It's this place. Visas was right, why would anyone, open to the Force like Atton is, come here?" Jaden managed to resurrect her shield and sighed, she wouldn't do that again, at least not here. Jaden wanted to go home. She wanted to go to the Valley of the Jedi, steep herself in the Midiclorians, and renew her spirit.

She had been alone most of her life. When she was born, Jaden spent only a few years with her mother. When she was five, her mother took her to a remote planet and left her with the Midiclorians to learn the ways of the Force. Jaden didn't have people, as Visas told Carth; she was made up of a few trillion microscopic life forms. When she reached her 18th year, she was informed that at some point in the future she would have to sacrifice herself in order to save the galaxy. It was at that point, she learned who she was and her training took on a whole new dimension.

Since she was not allowed to choose sides, she watched the Mandalorians sweep through the Outer Rim in what seemed like a murderous rampage. Jaden watched Revan and Malak lead a group of Jedi to victory only to watch Revan's final step to the dark side at Malachor V and she could do nothing about it. Jaden had lost a vital part of herself that day, when the Exile had cut himself off from the Force, but the balance had not tipped enough for her to take action. Even after Revan's "death" at the hands of Bastila and her strike team, and Malak's return from the Star Forge, there was still enough balance in the Force.

It wasn't until the Exile's return, one of Revan's Generals in the Mandalorian war, to known space that the balance began to tip to the dark side. The Exile fell deeper into darkness under Darth Traya's teachings and he had slaughtered the Jedi Council who exiled him. The time was at hand.

Jaden foolishly followed the Exile to the empire of the Sith. She found the Exile their ruler with Revan at his side. She knew what she had to do, distasteful as it was, but she put aside her feelings and pretended to join them. It paid off, since Jaden learned of their plan for Revan to come back and enlist an Admiral Onasi to help her find the Valley of the Jedi. By the time this Admiral Onasi realized he had been duped, it would have been to late. The Sith would control the Valley and the dark side would reign.

Jaden had arrived at the academy on Sirrico a few hours ahead of Revan, and still she was almost too late. Revan had 'orchestrated' the bombardment of the academy; so strong in the dark side, she could manipulate minds while destroying physical objects. She felt the disruption in Revan's concentration when Admiral Onasi had called out to her, and it was a moment of conflict that caused Revan to misjudge, sending the side of a building crashing down on him and his son Dustil.

The Force told Jaden to run, but she refused, instead choosing to confront Revan with what she knew. It was the pivotal moment for Jaden, and not an easy one. When Revan realized what she had done to the Admiral, she attacked Jaden. It was over in moments; Revan dead at Jaden's feet and Jaden knowing what she had to do.

She won the silent argument by using logic. She had to hide, but if she did, she wouldn't be able to move about and find the Exile. Jaden proposed restoring the Admiral's life by giving him some of her Force energy. It was reluctantly agreed to, knowing that by doing so, Jaden would not appear so strong in the Force and the Admiral would only be told it was a Force bond. Jaden would be allowed to move about, looking for the Exile, without drawing too much attention to herself. She would have to rely on others alignment in the Force to help her maintain her balance. However, and most importantly, she would have to have the energy she gave the Admiral when she finally faced her counterpart in the Exile. Jaden asked if it would cost the Admiral his life, but she never got an answer.

The moment she placed her hand over the Admiral's heart she recognized him. He was the voice that was never far from her. The voice that had cried out in agony and torment the day the Sith eradicated Telos IV. The voice she apologized to as she sat at the top of the tower and cried. It was too late now to stop and Jaden knew that it was she that would be the one to finally silence the voice.

After she restored his life, she boosted Dustil's and kept her secret safe, but she was torn apart on the inside. When he awoke and called Revan's name, Jaden realized Carth's feelings for Revan ran deep so she lied to him, sparing him any more pain. When Carth and Dustil were well enough, she returned to the Valley of the Jedi to heal. Jaden was expecting to be in trouble for her lie, but she was forgiven, and told that sometimes withholding the truth in a certain situation was for the best, at that time.

HK's voice broke into her thoughts, "Statement: Master? I believe Atton Rand has just arrived." Visas walked in a few minutes later, looked around and found Jaden and HK.

"Well?" Jaden asked

"He was with Vogga the Hut, working on a deal for more fuel for Telos."

"Did you talk to him?"

"I didn't get the chance. I think he sensed me because he had his light saber in his hand and kept looking around."

"Or he sensed something else . . . or someone, "Jaden said, "Did anyone else follow him? Maybe someone who doesn't like him?"

"Mocking Surprise: Hard to believe." HK said.

"There is too much noise . . ." Visas started and Jaden finished with, "And I can't open myself, he'd sense me in a moment, along with others." Jaden tapped the table a few times, thinking.

"Okay, I'm going over there."

Surprised Query: Master, you know how to play Pazaak?"

"You didn't think T3 and I were having deep intellectual conversations did you?" She asked HK, "Besides, I may not be able to read T3's thoughts, but others . . ."

"Pleased Statement: Oh, cheating. I heartily agree with the strategy, Master."

"I must warn you, Jaden, he knows how to block his mind and is quite good at it." Visas told her.

"What good is being a Force embodier if you don't know all the tricks?" Jaden replied.

"But your power . . ."

"I gave him life, Visas, not all my powers," she said as he moved away toward the table Atton was at. One of the players was quick to lose, all on their own, and Jaden slipped into the seat, put down some credits and was dealt in.

Two hours later, Jaden's head pounded. Atton wasn't just good at blocking his thoughts he was an expert. She probably knew every hyperspace route in the galaxy by now. The other players on the other hand . . . well, they were just bad at cards. Jaden didn't need to do anything to them, they genuinely sucked and it wasn't long before it was down to her and Atton, who had been eyeing her since she joined the game.

"You're pretty good at Pazaak. Are you as good looking?" He asked. _Oh geez,_ Jaden thought _could you be any more lame? _Jaden swallowed her chuckle.

"I could be." She said softly, trying to keep the humor out of her voice. Maybe there was another way into his brain. They had attracted a crowd of on-lookers and there were various hoot and hollers.

"Well, don't I get to find out? You've sat there most of the game with your hood up, and haven't said much of anything."

"Perhaps I was just enjoying the view." Jaden told him adding a turning stomach to her headache. Atton wasn't bad looking, he was just . . . so obvious, and at times obnoxious. Maybe that was why he spent so much time on the Outer Rim worlds. Bastila certainly wouldn't be able to take him for long.

"Well, I'll tell you what," he started to deal the cards, "If I win, you lose the hood."

"What if I'm horribly scarred and would scare women and children? Could be bad business for this establishment." Jaden said and felt Atton try to probe beneath the surface of her thoughts. Two could play at this game and he didn't get far, only saw what Jaden put there.

"Then we're both banished. But I don't think that's the case, based on your voice. Besides, I'm not a woman or child." He said amid more hoots and hollers.

"I can see that," Jaden purred seductively, "All right, what do I get if I win?"

"What ever your heart desires." He told her. This time Jaden did moan aloud, and the crowd bumped up the noise level and began razzing on Atton.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Atton grumped, "What do you want?"

"Hmmm . . . judging by your . . . weapon, I'm assuming you're a Jedi?" She asked in a teasing tone. Atton sobered a little, but nodded. Jaden went on lightly, "I have a proposition for you. You help me with a little problem I have."

"And this problem is?"

"Something I'm sure you can handle. There are these people after me and I could use the protection. That is what you do, isn't it? Protect the citizens of the Republic?" She asked prettily.

"Among other things." He told her, clearly uneasy, at least to Jaden he was. "Who's after you?" He asked. Jaden leaned closer to him and whispered, "The Sith."

"I see." Atton said gravely and Jaden felt him relax not believing her. Well, Jaden thought, he would never be able to accuse her of lying.

"Do we have a deal?" She asked holding out her hand for agreement. Atton took it, even kissed it and said, "We do." That one distraction was all she needed and she quietly slipped into his mind. It was costing her to let down her guard, even a little, but his light side alignment balanced most of the despair assaulting her from the others.

They were down to the last card and Jaden feigned whether she should take another card. She knew what Atton had in his hand and knew what card he would play. Running through what was left in the deck in her mind she decided to stand on what she had. Jaden couldn't keep her connection with Atton any longer. The tension in the room was beginning to override the light side she was pulling from him. Jaden accidentally, on purpose, bumped the table and by breaking Atton's concentration, was able to exit his mind and begin to shore up her defenses.

Jaden played her last card, "I'll stand." There was a gasp and Atton was slow to lay down his card.

"I guess you have a Jedi for the next few days." He said realizing he busted. _Great,_ he thought, _now he had to tag along with some woman who thought the Sith were after her. Well, he was done with Vogga for the fuel and may be he could still salvage something out of the bargain. Beside, maybe helping a citizen of the Republic would get him out of the hot water he was in with the Jedi Council._

"A bargain is a bargain," Jaden said removing her hood, "Atton"

"Jaden," he whispered, "Damn you!"

"All you want, but we need to leave. Now." Jaden collected the winnings on the table as she stood.

"I'm not going any where with you." He stated as Jaden walked up to him and looked him in the eye.

"We made a deal. I told you the truth and you chose not to believe it. That's not my fault. The Sith are on their way to Nar Shaddaa and I would like to be gone when they arrive, so lets go!"

"T3 picked up something." Visas said joining them with HK close behind.

"Oh yeah, the gangs all here." Atton muttered.

"Statement: Master, there is something else."

"Not now, HK, we need to move," she said trying to hustle them out of the Pazaak Den as the patrons were starting to get restless and uneasy, "I don't know how they found us so quickly, but we need to go." Jaden said taking Atton's arm and physically propelling him toward the door.

"Statement: Then perhaps the young meat bag Onasi can explain it." HK told her.

"What young meat . . .Dustil? Dustil Onasi is here?" Jaden demanded

"Affirming Statement: Master, Dustil Onasi just landed on Nar Shaddaa."

"Where is he?"

"Statement: The other side of the refugee sector, Master."

"They followed him?" Visas asked

"Admiral Onasi is going to kill you if any thing happens to his son."

"Shut up, Atton." Jaden set off at a brisk pace, "T3, what landing pad?" T3 beeped at her. "How close are the Sith?" She asked, but there wasn't any need for T3 to answer since the screams and cannon fire told them. Jaden broke into a run and the others followed.

"Excited Statement: Oh, Master, finally something to do!"

"Glad I could accommodate you, HK." She said drawing the blaster at her side. It was difficult going against the stream of running citizens trying to escape the violence the Sith were causing.

"T3, how many ships? . . . 3?" She asked over a particularly loud explosion. T3 began sending her an excited message, "Sith spit!" she swore, "Monitor the cruiser. Let me know if they change position."

It was chaos as they made their way toward the landing platform where T3 told them Dustil had landed. It wasn't long before they ran head long into the fray. They would clear one passageway, round a corner and start in on clearing the next. When they came to the landing pad that Dustil had used, he and the crew were pinned down behind some crates stacked to the side.

"T3, can you link me to Dustil?" Jaden called into the comm-link as she stepped back behind a corner. She dropped to one knee and fired off a couple of shots, winging one of the Sith soldiers.

"Ja . . .n? Can y . . h . .ar me?" Crackled over the link.

"Dustil?"

"Jaden, we're pinned down!"

"I see you. Hold on." Jaden told him taking a couple more shots and then sending out a Force push across the way.

"Jaden?" Dustil called out and she could hear the panic in his voice.

"Just hold on, Dustil." She told him as she put the comm-link on her belt.

"Query: Master?" HK said pointing to the landing pads that flanked them. Two Sith shuttles were landing, their crew spilling out.

"Damn it!" She swore, "We need to split up. Atton, take the one on the right. Visas take HK with you and go to the left. I'll get Dustil and the crew."

"Jaden, that's suicide, you'll never make it." Atton told her. Jaden replaced her blaster and took out her light saber."

"There's no other way." She took out her communicator. "T3, I need you and the Ebon Hawk over here. Dustil is pinned down and Sith shuttles have landed, flanking him. I need you to take out the two shuttles."

"Dwoo"

"Great. You're insuring our fate to a trash compactor that's more Gizka than droid?" Atton complained.

"If you have a better idea, Atton, I would love to hear it." She snapped. "Geez, do you always complain?" Jaden asked, "Now go, before the Sith decide they need to bomb Nar Shaddaa into oblivion."

Atton shook his head and went in the direction Jaden indicated.

"Perhaps he wasn't the wisest choice," Visas stated. Jaden rolled her eyes and ducked as a shot exploded over her head.

"To late now," She told Visas, "Be careful." Jaden watched as Visas and HK took off. She could swear HK was gleefully laughing, but she wouldn't swear to it.

"Dustil?"

"Jaden, they've begun firing on the shuttle, and we're trapped."

"The Ebon Hawk is on its way. How many are with you?"

"Four . . .three." He said after a moment of silence after the scream of pain. One of the men had been hit.

"Okay, wait for my signal then move toward me." She told the frightened young man. Atton was right about one thing; if anything happened to Dustil, Carth was going to kill her.

"How will I know?"

"Trust me, Dustil. I don't get to show off very often."

"I'm sorry, Jaden, I only wanted to help." He said with regret.

"Just remind me to kick your butt when we're out of this. Ready?"

"Yeah, we're ready."

What good was having the full power of the Force, light and dark, if you couldn't use it sometimes? Jaden ignited her saber and stepped into the fray. She could see Atton battling several Sith, as were Visas and HK. The first order of business was disabling the turrets on the Sith shuttles. Summoning the dark side from around her, Jaden sent out streams of Force lightning at one shuttle then the other, causing the turrets to explode.

"Dustil!" She shouted as she used her saber to directed the blaster fire back at the Sith, the return fire finding its mark. Dustil and two others made a run for cover behind her. It was at that time that the Ebon Hawk showed up, blasting the two Sith shuttles into pieces.

"Jaden, they're headed in your direction." Atton told her over the comm.

"All right. Get back here. You too, Visas. T3?"

"Beep beep?"

"Take out the shuttle so you can land." Jaden said moving away, while she herded Dustil and the two crewmembers out of harms way by the wall.

"Is everyone all right?" She asked running her hand down Dustil's arm.

"I think so. Jaden . . ." The shuttle exploded behind them and they ducked to avoid the flying debris.

"Get on the Ebon Hawk and wait for me." Jaden told them.

"Where are you going?" He asked rubbing his arm as a warmth spread through it.

"To get the others who helped rescue your sorry butt." She told him. Dustil nodded chagrined and he and the others made the dash to safety aboard the Ebon Hawk.

Jaden watched them disappear inside the ship before she went to join the others. Atton joined her and the two of them plowed a path though the Sith to reach Visas and HK. It might have been inappropriate but Jaden was glad she had practiced to use the weapon of the Jedi, even though she didn't need it.

"Everyone okay?" She asked when the last of their attackers fell.

"Excited Statement: Master, that was quite exhilarating."

Glad you enjoyed it. Really." Jaden said with a smile for the assassin droid. "Let's go. Dustil is all ready on board." At a fast jog, they returned to the Ebon Hawk. T3 was quite excited and chatty.

"Now what?" Atton asked moving by T3, "I didn't miss you."

"That Sith cruiser is headed this way. We're not out of this yet," Jaden said, "HK, get on the turret. Atton, get us the hell out of here." The ship shuddered. "Sith fighters"

"You know, I really had hoped to never see this ship again," Atton said moving off.

"I've heard that before." Jaden muttered under her breath.

It was a tense few minutes, but HK dispatched the fighters and Atton was able to make the jump to hyperspace shortly after they cleared the moons gravitational field. When they were safely away, Atton looked over the center console at Jaden, "Why?" He asked

"It's time." She told him not bothering to pretend ignorance.

"Does Admiral Onasi know?"

"About the Sith? Yes."

"I figured that out when Dustil showed up. Does he know about you and what you are?" Atton asked. Jaden shot him a look. "I take it that means, no." Jaden stood up, feeling light headed. She needed to rest after using the dark side as she had. She wasn't up to arguing with Atton so she left the bridge.

"Jaden . . ." Dustil said when she reached the main hold. She raised her hand to stop him and just kept walking.

Dustil sat down heavily in one of the chairs, "She hates me. I only wanted to help her." He said to no one in particular.

"What she did today, using the dark side of the Force in a place where it is so strong, cost her. She needs to rest." Visas told him. Dustil nodded.

"Thank you, Visas, for coming after me."

"You're welcome."


	5. Chapter 4

Kwyn Lavek hated good news/bad news scenarios. Carth would be glad they found the Ebon Hawk, but was going to go ballistic when he found out that Dustil had gone to Nar Shadda. Where, by the way, they found the Ebon Hawk.

The Admiral had been acting very strange the last few days. He spent a great deal of time in his quarters and when he did emerge, he looked like hadn't slept much. He snapped at the crew one minute, and then would apologize in the next. Carth would push himself physically as well, spending hours in the training room using a long sword. He was an excellent shot so maybe it was the physical workout he was after. Regardless, the men had commented about it. Especially when Carth destroyed one of the training droids. Not knowing his commanding officers mood, Lavek was reluctant to speak with him but Kwyn gathered his courage and rang the bell.

"Come"

Kwyn took a deep breath and entered to find Carth deep in thought by the view port, "We found the Ebon Hawk." Lavek told him and watched as Carth swung around to face him. Kwyn took a deep breath and continued, "Nar Shadda. They're, uh, still investigating but apparently there was some trouble with the Sith. The, uh, Ebon Hawk escaped. Can't say as much for the two Sith shuttles or their crew."

"Any idea what direction they were headed?" Carth asked all ready knowing the answer. Lavek shook his head. "There's more, isn't there?" He asked.

"Uh, we also lost a shuttle. According to eye witnesses, the Ebon Hawk destroyed the Republic shuttle in order to land."

"Was anyone on it?"

"Not at the time."

"So Jaden owes the Republic a shuttle? Is that what you're trying to tell me?"

"Carth . . ." Kwyn sighed, "It was the shuttle Dustil . . . borrowed . . . to go to Nar Shadda." Kwyn braced himself for the outburst, but Carth only raised his brows.

"Borrowed?"

"Apparently he convinced someone that he needed to go to Nar Shadda to help some Jedi, named Atton Rand, with the negotiations for more fuel for Telos."

"Damn you!" Carth muttered.

"I'm sorry, Admiral" Kwyn said

"For what? My damn fool son going off on some hair-brained quest?" He said walking over to a cabinet. "Is he alive?"

"Again, according to the witnesses, he and two other crewmen boarded the Ebon Hawk."

"And you're sure it's him?" He said taking out two glasses.

"Yes."

Carth thought for a moment and then nodded, "Okay then. Now, care to get rip-roaring drunk with me?" Carth said holding up a glass carafe full of Tarisian ale.

"Will you tell me what's going on if I do?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry I've shut you out, Kwyn. It's all a little fantastic, but if you're willing to listen . . ." Carth said pouring two glasses.

"We can complete repairs in route if you want me to start us for Nar Shadda." Kwyn said taking the offered glass. Carth gave him a half smile and shook his head.

"Why? She's not there."

"I'm assuming she won't keep Dustil with her. Am I wrong?"

"No," Carth sighed and sat down, "It may all be one giant Mynoks nest, but she won't put Dustil in harms way if she can avoid it." He rubbed the bridge of his nose, "Onderon. Take us to Onderon." He added softly not sure why that was stuck in his mind. Lavek went to the comm-link and gave the order, then sat down opposite his friend.

"I suppose starting with the Sith attack at the Academy is the best place to begin. You pretty much know the rest before that."

* * *

"Your father is going to kill me!" Jaden shouted at Dustil several hours later. She had slept deeply and it restored most of her energy. Even her mind had remained quiet, which she was grateful for. Jaden didn't want to admit it, but having the neutral Dustil with her was offsetting the light side of Atton. She would talk to Atton later about what he knew, but for now, she had to deal with the young man.

"I didn't think it through, Jaden, I understand that. How was I to know the Sith would follow me." He told her quietly.

"Well you have to go back. You can't stay with me."

"But I can help you." Dustil told her with enthusiasm.

"No you can't," She said as she began to pace her quarters.

"Why not? I'm handy with a blaster. I do have some Jedi training, I'm not helpless."

Jaden looked at him skeptically, "No."

"You need help against this Sith threat."

"I know what I need, Dustil, and it's not you." She told him pointing a finger at him, "You're going home."

"I came to help you on my own. My father doesn't even know I'm here."

"Well he does now!" She shouted, "Do you think that little altercation on Nar Shadda won't reach him?" Jaden threw up her hands and muttered something in Twi-lek. "Look Dustil, I appreciate you trying to help, I really do. But your father is not going to see it that way. He's going to accuse me of manipulating you since he refused to help me."

"Jaden, he's not going to think that," Dustil said with resignation, "That's ridiculous."

"Dustil . . ." She sighed

"No. I won't let you manipulate _me_ with this garbage. You need me and . . ."

"Damn it, Dustil, you're the wrong bloody Onasi! I need your father and he needs to agree to this on his own!" She snapped at him. Dustil studied her for a moment. "You're going home, and that's final." Jaden told him quietly and started for the door. He took one last chance.

"If I leave before you break Mandalore out of the prison on Onderon, Atton will tip your balance to the light side. That could cost you."

Jaden froze, "What did you say?" She whispered.

"Your balance in the Force. You need to remain neutral in order to survive."

* * *

Kwyn studied Carth, who was lying on the couch with his socked feet dangling over the end. The tale that he had just spun was fantastic, but not unbelievable. The only part he was having trouble with was the fact that his best friend just told him he was a Jedi.

"A Jedi? Then what the hell are you doing on this rust bucket?" Kwyn asked

"What I do best." Carth slurred with a frown, "And she's not a rust bucket."

"If Jaden is so powerful a Jedi, why haven't I heard of her?" Kwyn lowered his voice, "Hell, her looks alone are memorable."

"Visas and Master Vandar told me it was forbidden for her to be a Jedi. As for me, I've had training but I refused to join the order."

"Why?" Kwyn demanded to know, giving his friend a strange look.

"This is what I know, Kwyn. This is what killed Morgana and took Dustil from me. I need to be a soldier, defending the Republic, so that her death wouldn't have been in vain."

"And you can't do that as a Jedi?" Kwyn asked. Carth gave him a dark look. "I'm sorry. I know it's been difficult for you with Morgana's death and then Revan." He added quietly.

"So why do beautiful women keep messing with my life?" Carth sighed.

"You haven't fallen for Jaden, have you? You hardly know her." Kwyn asked with a startled look.

"Yes . . . No . . . ah hell, I don't know. One minute I want to kiss her senseless, the next I want to throttle her. She's keeping something from me, Kwyn and it's huge. Life altering huge."

Kwyn slumped in the chair and stretched his legs out, "Any idea what it might be?"

"I think she lied to me about Revan. I think Jaden killed her." He whispered.

"Why?"

"To protect me. It's just out of reach, the reason, and I can't grab it." Carth said, his frustration clear in his voice.

"What do you mean?"

Carth rolled off the couch and stumbled over to the window, "I've been having dreams . . . visions . . . I don't know what to call them. They're of the day of Dustil's graduation. In the last one, Jaden is demanding to know what Revan hoped to gain by returning and betraying Jaden, the Republic and the Force. It makes no sense."

"Maybe they had an argument in the past?" Kwyn asked and watched Carth shake his head.

"It's a different feeling, Kwyn, not like old friends who had a falling out . . . I can't explain it."

"You said Jaden created a bond with you to save your life. Maybe it's from that, and you're misinterpreting what it means. You just said you only had some Jedi training. Maybe Visas skipped that part."

Carth turned to his friend and grinned, "What I think, is that we're both drunk enough that neither of us know what we're talking about."

"Probably. Doesn't change the fact that you need to talk to Jaden and get some answers." Kwyn said rising a little unsteady. Carth gave him a half grin and nodded. "One more thing," Kwyn said from the door, "If you decide you're not in . . . lust with Jaden, can I take a stab at her?"

"She'd eat you alive, Kwyn."

"That's what I'm hoping for." He quipped. The door shut on his friend and Carth went to his room and flopped down on the bed, face first and fast asleep.

" _. . . I don't know what you're talking about, Jaden."_

"_Answer me, Revan! What are you after? The Valley of the Jedi?"_

"_How do you . . .?"_

"_Know about your plan to use this Admiral's feeling for you, to manipulate him into helping you find the Valley? Tell me something, Revan, what were you going to do when he found out you used him? I doubt he's as stupid and one minded as you seem to think."_

"_He loves me," Revan sneered in disgust, "Carth would do as I asked."_

"_Again, he's not stupid, Revan. From what I've learned of him, he'd figure it out pretty quick. Especially when the Exile shows up to plunge the galaxy into darkness and despair." Jaden shouted at her._

"_How do you know this?" Revan demanded amazed that their plan had been discovered. It was written on her face and Jaden felt her heart break, just a little, for the man she'd never seen before today._

"_Did you really think I wouldn't learn of your plans?"_

"_How?" Revan demanded._

"_Revan," Jaden said shaking her head._

"_How?"_

"_It doesn't matter how I learned of it." Jaden said knowing this wasn't going to end well, regardless of what she said. "The dark side will not win."_

"_We'll see about that!" Revan cried out before she struck at Jaden with Force lightning . . ._

Carth was thrown from the bed by the impact. He couldn't breathe and fire raced through his body. He desperately gasped for air, doubled over after the initial attack on Jaden, before his mind clouded again.

_. . . Jaden lay in the street, her breath gone, and the pain immeasurable._

"_You're a pathetic Jedi, if you think you can match the power of the dark side. You're not the only one who can restore what was taken." Revan told Jaden as she circled her, her saber drawn. "And the Exile thought you might be a problem," she sneered, "I'm taking him with me." Revan added as she moved the rubble that had buried Carth with a wave of her hand. "We will find the Valley of the Jedi, and the Sith will rule the galaxy." Revan spun her saber a couple of times before she poised it to plunge into Jaden._

_In a flash, Jaden was on her feet and had Force pulled the weapon from Revan's grasp aiming it at Revan's heart, "I don't think so."_

_Revan screamed in outrage and sent another wave of Force lightning at Jaden. This time, Jaden was able to block most of it, but some did reach her. "You won't kill me! The Jedi don't believe in killing their prisoners." She screamed._

"_An unfortunate truth Bastila will regret, I'm sure." Jaden replied._

"_The Exile will come for me. We _will _find the Valley. The Republic, the Jedi, all of them will bow down to the Sith!" Revan said as she and Jaden circled each other._

"_There's just one flaw in your thinking, Revan," Jaden twisted the saber in her hand before plunging it into Revan's heart. Revan gasped once, as her eyes grew wide. She looked at Jaden stunned as she slowly slid from the blade to fall dead at Jaden's feet. "I'm not a Jedi."_

_Jaden switched off the saber and tossed it aside . . ._

Carth lay perfectly still for several minutes. When he tried to move, the pain was excruciating, stealing his breath, but he managed to slowly crawl to a chair and hoist himself up. When he looked down, he could see his tunic ripped and burned in several areas. With agony in each movement, he managed to rip the tattered shirt off and make his way to the mirror.

"What is happening?" He whispered as he looked at his burned flesh. "Why did you lie to me, Jaden?" Carth now understood this wasn't a dream. He was reliving Jaden's memory.

* * *

Jaden rolled over in her bunk on the Ebon Hawk and curled into a fetal position. She wiped the tears from her eyes and silently asked ~~~_Why did you awaken my memories in him? ~~~_

* * *

Kwyn paced the medical bay waiting for word on the Carth's condition. When he hadn't responded this morning, Kwyn went to his quarters to give him a hard time about being hung over. Carth hadn't answered the door and Kwyn became concerned based on their conversation the night before. He overrode the security lock on the door and found Carth unconscious on the floor, burn marks on his back and chest.

"General Lavek?" A medical droid approached.

Kwyn stopped pacing, "How is he?"

"The Admiral is out of the Kolto tank and resting. The burns were electrical in nature, but there is a strange pattern to them that I have not encountered before. Most curious."

"I want to see him." Kwyn demanded.

"Actually, that's why I'm here. I suggested he rest, but the Admiral insisted, ordered really, that he see you."

The moment Kwyn stepped into the room, Carth snapped "leave us" and the droids and medical technician vacated the premises with haste. Carth was pale and his mid-section was wrapped.

"What happened?" Kwyn asked.

"She betrayed us. Me, the Republic."

"Who?" Kwyn asked cautiously afraid of the answer. Whoever the answer was.

"Revan." Carth said looking at Kwyn for the first time. Kwyn sighed and straddled the chair closest to the bed. "After you left last night . . ." Carth began. He left out nothing, not a quote, not a detail. When he finished, Kwyn sat quietly for several minutes. Revan's death was hard enough on Carth. Knowing that she betrayed him? Kwyn turned away from those thoughts.

"Are you saying this dream, this vision you had; the Force lightning Revan used, did this to you? I know the Force is mysterious and all, but . . ." He trailed off at a loss to express himself.

"Not a dream. Not a vision. This is Jaden's memory of what happened." Carth told him.

Kwyn sat back and rubbed his pounding left temple, "Well," He cleared his throat, "I don't know what to say. Her memory?"

"It's the only explanation. The last thing I remember is seeing," Carth paused and swallowed, "Revan, running across the courtyard. I remember I was stunned and thrilled to see her. I called out to her . . . maybe I am stupid. I never recognized . . ."

And this is what Kwyn wanted to avoid. Carth had a habit of taking on all the blame, whether he was at fault or not. He had such a strong sense of loyalty that sometimes he forgot others weren't like him in the belief they should keep their promises.

"No! Don't do that to yourself. You had no way of knowing she had returned to the dark side."

"I should have recognized the change, Kwyn. Hell, for more than a year we . . ."

"What? Believed you were love? Just because she had returned to the dark side then, doesn't mean she didn't love you when she left." Kwyn told him. "You said it yourself, you thought Jaden was protecting you, that the reason was just out of reach, now you know why. Jaden didn't want you to know that Revan had returned to the dark side."

"She should have told me the truth!" Carth said heatedly.

"Would you have believed her?" Kwyn snapped right back.

"I . . ." Carth closed his eyes and sighed. "Why tell me this way then? Why tell me at all?"

"Personally? Based on what you've told me? I don't think Jaden intended for you to ever find out. I think something, or someone, else is causing you to experience Jaden's memory."

"But why, Kwyn?" Carth demanded. He was so frustrated he literally couldn't think straight.

"Look, it's pretty obvious Jaden has feelings for you, or she wouldn't have wanted to protect you from the truth. As to the other . . . I can't say.

"I have to find her, Kwyn. She has my son and they're in terrible danger." Carth said softly after several minutes of silence.

"We'll find her and Dustil. She'll protect him, Carth. Jaden's done it once, she'll keep him safe."

* * *

Visas found Jaden in the main cargo hold single-mindedly trying to destroy the six training remotes that surrounded her. Jaden's concentration was somewhat overwhelming to watch, but instead of leaving, Visas sat on one of the cargo containers, fascinated by the speed and moves that Jaden was executing flawlessly. After ten minutes, Jaden dispatched all six remotes with an ease Visas found compelling.

"They hurt him, Visas. They had no right or cause to hurt him." Jaden said shutting off her saber and collapsing to the floor, out of breath and physically spent.

"What happened?" Visas asked quietly.

"They showed him . . . no, they made him experience my confrontation with Revan."

"What do you mean? "

"They awakened my memories of that day in Carth. He lived through everything I did . . . down to the Force lightning. He doesn't know how to defend against that and it physically hurt him." Jaden told her fighting back a fresh bout of tears.

"Jaden, you're under a tremendous amount of stress. Could you have, unwittingly of course, triggered the memory yourself?"

"You're not helping, Visas. If that's the case, and I caused him harm, then I have broken my vow of not using the Force to manipulate him." Jaden said quietly. "I'm no better than Revan." She added

"The Admiral remembering something through you is not manipulation. You told me Revan had planned to lie to him. To use him to find the Valley of the Jedi . . ." Jaden cut her off.

"But _I_ lied to him as well."

"That's different, and you were told as much. Your lie to the Admiral was to spare him his feelings for someone he trusted and loved."

"And now it's all for nothing!" Jaden snapped as she stood up and paced the cargo hold. "He's searching for us."

"Has he figured out that it's not a Force bond, that he is actually . . . storing part of the Force?" Visas asked watching the tortured Jaden pace back and forth.

"No." She said ignoring the truth to Visas's statement.

"Then with the Exile drawing closer each day, perhaps it is time that Admiral Onasi learns the truth. The whole truth."

Jaden knew Visas was right, and Jaden felt everything she tried to do crumble around her. "I can't protect him, Visas. I'm suppose to have all this power and I don't know if I'm going to kill him when I take back what I gave him." Jaden told Visas. "I only wanted to protect him." She added in a whisper.

"Protect him from what? Sacrifice? His whole life has been unselfish sacrifice for others. He sacrificed his wife and Dustil so that others in the Republic would survive. Most would have walked away when they discovered what the Jedi Council was doing with Revan, but the Admiral set aside his sense of betrayal and did what was necessary to defeat Malak. When Revan left, he sacrificed his feelings for her by staying behind as she asked."

Jaden didn't correct her friend's assumption about Carth and his feelings. He never put aside the betrayal of the Council, only buried it, but it was still there. As for Revan, Carth, and no one for that matter, would ever know the cruelty behind Revan asking him to wait for her. Jaden, no matter what, would ever let that be known. "Visas, you're making him sound like a martyr. I know what he has given up in his service for others. I admire him for that, more than you know." Jaden said sitting down across from Visas. "That makes him stronger than any of us." She sighed, "But did you know," she went on before Visas could add anything, "that he was on the verge of retiring from the Republic Navy? He was going to resign his commission and move to Telos to help with the restoration. He was going to go home. That's why I wanted to protect him, so he could do something for himself and find some measure of peace."

"Jaden, even you, as a Force embodier, know that you cannot change someone's destiny. If it's ordained that the Admiral give his life in the ultimate sacrifice, who are you to think you can change that?"

"I know I cannot alter his destiny, Visas, and the only thing that makes this marginally better is that he will be returned to the Force. But knowing all this doesn't change my desire to see him fulfill his own dreams." Jaden lowered her head to her hands and sighed. She seemed to be doing that a lot lately. Visas remained silent, understanding fully why the Jedi Order discouraged emotional entanglements.

Jaden knew she was being foolish, and having told Visas her thoughts only confirmed it. But damn it, Carth deserved to have his life, to live, as he wanted. "Dustil knows." She said behind her hands.

"What?"

"He figured it out." She said as she raised her head and smiled wryly.

"How?"

"Dustil was with Carth when he reported what happened to Bastila and Master Vandar. Carth mentioned my blade color and based on their reaction, he started to research it. He guessed at part of it, but based on my reaction - when I told Carth about our bond - and how Carth's anger was drawing the dark side and hurting me, he figured the bond was stronger than I had told them. Dustil also figured out why you were the one to train his father and why the droids, with their light and dark side tendencies, are traveling with me. He came here to act as the buffer, a neutral party in the Force, to off-set Atton's light side until we get Canderous and restore the balance I must maintain." Jaden told her and watched the almost comical horror cross Visas's face. Jaden shook her head in awe. "That's not even the best part, Visas. Dustil based all his conclusions on a Jedi legend he found in the archives."

"You're joking." Visas accused.

"No, I'm not. Scary isn't it?"

"What did you tell him?"

"What could I tell him? He has it exactly right. I think I hurt his feelings though, when I told him he was the wrong Onasi, that I needed his father, but that's when he told me he knew I needed to maintain my balance in the Force or it would cost me."

"That explains why we didn't leave him at the first Republic base we came to." Visas said. Jaden nodded and smiled.

"I know I'm being selfish, but I have appreciated the fact that his presence is allowing me to sleep better. Besides, his father is going to come screaming up our ion engines soon enough and I can hand Dustil over to him."

"And tell the Admiral the truth?" Visas asked.

"Yeah, for whatever good it'll do." Jaden whispered.

"What about Atton? Have you told him?"

"Didn't need to, he all ready knows. I will tell him the rest though, he deserves to know what he's up against."

"Jaden, what if he decides to leave?"

"He has no love for the Exile, especially after leaving him to die on Malachor V after Atton refused to joined him. Besides, he owes me for saving his life."

"As do I." Visas told her and Jaden shook her head.

"You owe me nothing. If anything I owe you, more than I can ever repay. You've always been there when I needed you. The friendship and counseling you have offered are invaluable to me."

"Thank you. It . . . touches me that you think that, Jaden."

"I know we haven't known each other long, but you really are my closest friend. I didn't have to many of those growing up, ya know?" She said with a smile. "Besides, as far as Atton goes, I can always make him stay."

"But you won't." Visas said with a smile. Jaden mimicked her sarcastically but ended in a cringe when she heard Atton's call.

"Jaden! Get your ass up here!"

"Good thing it's a small ship." Jaden commented standing.

"I wonder what the Admiral would do if one of his crew yelled for him like that on the Sojourn?" Visas asked as they both left the cargo hold at the same time.

"Big ship. He'd never know."


	6. Chapter 5

"I know it's a small ship, Atton," Jaden said as she walked on to the bridge of the Ebon Hawk, "I just hope you haven't given away our position to the Sith."

"What's going on?" Dustil asked as he joined them, followed by Visas and HK.

"Daddy's here," Atton answered, "And he's pissed. The Sojourn's armaments are primed and locked on us."

"What?" Dustil cried out. Jaden put her hand on the young man's shoulder to calm him.

"Atton." She scolded him with a stern look.

"Look for yourself." He told her. Jaden moved to the co-pilot chair and sat down. As she studied the readouts, it certainly did look like the Sojourn's weapons were locked on them.

"That crazy son of a . . . he's firing!" Atton shouted in disbelief.

"Not at us Atton, behind us. Dive!" Jaden told him urgently.

"Hold on." He yelled as the nose of the Ebon Hawk shot downward. The powerful burst of the Sojourn's laser cannon barely missed the engines of the Ebon Hawk. They did, however, hit the Corellian freighter that was coming up behind them. The resulting shockwave rocked the ship.

"Where did they come from?" Atton asked as he maneuvered the Ebon Hawk to avoid the freighter's fire and the Sojourn's.

"Some pilot you are." Dustil shouted as he tried to hold on to the back of Jaden's chair.

"Shut up, kid."

"Both of you shut up!" Jaden snapped at them.

"They must have been cloaked. I swear Jaden, I didn't know they were there." Atton said.

"Well, where the hell is T3?" Jaden asked as another shockwave hit them.

"I, ah . . . he was . . ."

"Damn it, Atton. You really need to learn to play well with others. We're going to get pulverized if we stay out here. Head for the Sojourn." Jaden said as she struggled to her feet. The violent dipping and rocking of the ship threw Jaden from side to side, but she was able to reach the communications center just behind the bridge. She flipped open a panel on T3 and he came to life, chattering excitedly.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry, T3, it won't happen again. Come on." She told the little droid and headed back to the bridge. "Atton, never turn off T3 again." Jaden told him as she reached the co-pilots chair and stumbled in to it.

"Well, if this ship had some decent sensors on it." Atton said trying to defend himself.

"There's a reason this ship doesn't have standard sensors on it." Jaden told him as she picked up a headset and put it on.

"Sojourn, this is the Ebon Hawk. Do you copy?" She yelled as the ship violently dipped to the left.

"This is General Lavek, go ahead."

"General, I realize the Admiral is royally pissed off, but do you think you can turn off the auto targeting on my ship?"

"Jaden, we're not targeting the Ebon Hawk." Lavek said with a frown.

"Well, my sensors show differently." She snapped.

Kwyn and Carth exchanged puzzled glances. "Commander," Kwyn looked past Carth, "Are you targeting the Ebon Hawk?"

"No sir. The . . . two Corellian freighters." Carth turned and went to the gunnery station to study the screen.

"It's showing two freighters with the same signature ID. Tell her to turn off the ships registry beacon." He said. Kwyn nodded and relayed the message.

Jaden shrugged at Atton's look but did what she was told. T3's excited recitation was accompanied by an alarm. Jaden looked over at Atton, "This time, climb." As soon as she said it, Atton pulled up and the multiple cannon beams went under them, obliterating the Corellian freighter.

"The registry beacon?" Visas asked when things had calmed down.

"Statement: Each ship in the Republic is required to have a beacon that ID's the type, place of origin, and previous owners." HK answered.

Although Jaden was looking at Atton, she said, "Check the computer system, T3. Make sure they didn't do anything else when they hacked in while you were shut down." Atton looked away.

"Beep, boop, dwoo."

Jaden looked over at the others and with her eyes indicated they should leave. After Visas, HK, and Dustil were gone, she pushed the button that sealed Atton and her in the bridge.

"You already know I'm an embodier and if you're interested in the legend behind that, you really should talk to Dustil. However, when I was fleeing the Sith home world," Atton looked at her shocked and Jaden nodded, "Can't say I recommend it, but I realized what had to be done. I discovered the Exile's, and Revan's, plan to locate and take over the Valley of the Jedi."

"And plunge the galaxy to the dark side." Atton said. When Jaden raised her brows, Atton frowned in embarrassment. "Onasi's kid isn't the only one who can read." He muttered. Jaden couldn't quite hold back her grin.

"Glad to hear it. Regardless, they knew about me and that I knew their plan. When I confronted Revan, at Dustil's graduation and told her what I knew, she tried to kill me. She had come back to use the Admiral to help her find the Valley."

"Does he know that?" Atton asked.

She nodded and sighed. "Unfortunately yes, and he was injured in the process."

Atton opened his mouth, but changed his mind about speaking.

"It was agreed that I needed to hide, but I couldn't go into hiding. My power was so strong that it wouldn't take the Sith long to find me and I still needed training if I was to defeat the Exile and restore the balance in the Force."

"Then we are all in trouble. If you're the Force, you're not very strong." Atton commented. Jaden continued.

"In order to hide, in plain sight, so to speak, I needed to . . . relinquish some of my power."

"So you wouldn't appear so strong. I get that." Atton said, then frowned, "Can you do that?"

"I . . . lent some of my powers to someone who . . ."

"Carth Onasi?" Atton snapped. "The Republic's poster boy for do-gooders? You gave your power to him? I'm sure he loved hearing that!" Atton hooted.

"Atton!" Jaden said to him surprised he figured it out and by his humorous outburst at the thought.

"He went ballistic, didn't he?" Atton asked with a chuckle.

"How did you know he . . .?"

"Are you kidding me? First Bastila and the Jedi Council use him without telling him Revan's true identity and then when he finds out, Bastila tries to convince him it's the only way to find the Star Forge. So, he goes along with it, for the good of the Republic you know, and he forgives Bastila, falls in love with Revan and she abandons him to go find some threat that is striking through the Force. And now you tell me he knows Revan came back only to betray him? It's a wonder he didn't just order our destruction." Atton said shaking his head and chuckling. "Ironic, isn't it, Jaden? You give him the one thing that has done nothing but betray him."

Jaden looked out at the Sojourn as they drew closer to it. She ignored the sharp stab of pain Atton's words has caused. She would be no different from the others. But instead of admitting to that, Jaden told Atton differently.

"I didn't have a choice." She whispered

"What are you talking about?"

"He was dead, Atton. Revan had killed him during her little diversionary attack."

"So he was handy." He quipped.

"Stop it!" Jaden snapped. "No, I restored his life by giving him some of my energy."

Atton leaned over the console and stared at her. "What happens when you take it back, Jaden?" He taunted her. Jaden didn't answer and Atton sat back disgusted. "I'll tell you what happens. The poster boy is betrayed again." He said flipping several switches with more force than was necessary.

"I don't know what will happen when I have to take back my power." She said quietly. "At this point, at least I think so, he still believes it's only a Force bond. He doesn't know that he's actually . . ."

"Holding you close to his heart? Literally." He purred vindictively.

"It's a wonder that smart mouth of yours hasn't gotten you killed." Jaden retorted.

His "Sorry" dripped with sarcasm. "Look, poster boy or no, I like Admiral Onasi. Have you tried to get some of your power back? You know, to see what would happen?"

"No, it would tip off the Exile and the Sith, which returns us to the reason for this conversation. When I left, after Carth and Dustil had recovered, I went home to complete whatever training I could. While I was there, I modified the majority of the systems onboard the Ebon Hawk and also in T3. They're linked together, so when you turned off T3, you turned off every security measure on the ship."

"And when T3 is destroyed for some reason?"

"I'm not that stupid, Atton."

"Well then, what's the back-up plan?" He asked turning the ship toward the open hanger bay doors. Not the same hanger Jaden had crashed in, she noticed.

"I'll worry about that. Besides, if something happens to me before this is over, a back-up plan is rather moot, don'tcha think?"

"When this is over, will the Sith be gone?"

"To this degree? At least for several hundred years. By then you'll be dead."

"Can I destroy this Force-forsaken ship?" He asked hopefully. Jaden shook her head in resignation.

"You and the Admiral can take pot shots at it from the Sojourn." She said. Atton looked at her curiously. "He called it Force-forsaken as well."

"Then here's to hoping he survives."

"One more thing, Atton. He doesn't know I restored his life."

"You said he thinks it's a Force bond." Jaden nodded. "Don't worry. That's for you to tell him. You are going to tell him, aren't you?"

"Yes. Provided he hasn't killed me over lying about Revan or Dustil coming after me."

"Sucks to be you." Atton quipped before he brought the Ebon Hawk in for a landing.

* * *

Jaden stayed in the cockpit of the Ebon Hawk as the others left the ship. As soon as they had landed and shut down the engines, Carth and General Lavek had walk into the landing bay. Atton wisecracked something about Carth not being armed, but when Jaden didn't respond, he merely gave her shoulder a squeeze. Atton could be an ass, but when it came down to it, he could also be a good man. She watched as the others disembarked and the reactions they drew.

Atton received a handshake, Visas a hug and kiss on the cheek. When Carth introduced Visas to General Lavek, Jaden could feel the mans interest in her friend. It was the first time she had seen Kwyn smile and it was slow, sexy and full of hope. Jaden shook her head and rolled her eyes. Kwyn Lavek was a good-looking man. Taller than Carth, but not by much and his sandy brown hair reminded her of Tatooine at dusk. He was nicely built and his eyes were an unusual deep shade of blue.

Carth stiffened when HK joined the group. Jaden supposed that was to be expected. After all, HK belonged to Revan. She had built him and programmed his assassination protocols when she was the Dark Lord of the Sith after the Madalorian War. Now that Carth knew the truth about Revan, his wariness was to be expected.

Dustil came next, and Jaden held her breath as father and son studied each other. Although similar in height, Dustil had softer features and Jaden supposed he favored his mother. Dustil was a good-looking young man, but he couldn't compete with his father's rugged good looks. The Admiral's masculinity was undeniable. It manifested itself in every movement he made; the sense of confidence in himself and his decisions. Carth was well built and worked diligently to keep his body in shape. When he smiled . . . Jaden stopped her train of thought and let out the breath she was holding when Carth pulled Dustil into a hug. Jaden couldn't stop the smile when she saw Carth tell his son "You are in so much trouble."

Carth looked at the ramp and then turned his gaze to the cockpit. His eyes locked on hers, and Jaden felt truly lost and alone. His soul was embittered and that pain went straight to her heart. Jaden gasped as the excruciating anguish flowed through her. It wasn't the dark side this time that was bringing her low, it was the voice and it's emotional torment that once again overwhelmed her as it did all those years ago. He was the first to break the contact when he turned and spoke to Kwyn before walking away with Dustil. When the General looked at her with a raised brow and beckoned with a crook of his finger, Jaden knew she couldn't hide any longer.

"Beep?"

"It'll be okay, T3. Maybe you'll be lucky enough to get another oil bath, huh?" She told the droid as she rose to exit the ship. Kwyn was waiting for her at the end of the ramp. It didn't take long for her to know that Carth had talked to him. He said nothing, only turned away expecting her to follow. Jaden spared a look for T3 and told the droid to stay with the ship then followed the taciturn General Lavek. She felt like a prisoner as she followed him. Jaden was expecting to wind up in the brig, or some dark hole in the bowels of the ship, so she was surprised when the turbo lift stopped on the deck with the officers quarters. _Maybe the brig would be better_, she thought, as they stopped at Carth's apartment.

"For what it's worth," she began when Kwyn opened the door, "I never meant for him to find out." Lavek studied her for a moment, started to say something, then stopped and only nodded. Jaden entered the room alone.

* * *

As soon as Carth closed the door to the quarters assigned to Dustil, the young man turned and faced his father.

"Jaden had nothing to do with this. She didn't manipulate me, or use the Force to influence me. I made the decision to find her and help on my own. I knew she needed to maintain her balance in the Force while Atton was with her and until she got Mandalore out of prison."

Carth said nothing after the five second impassioned speech. His brows did rise at the information though.

"Father, please. Don't be angry with her."

"People died on Nar Shadda. You could have died. What would you have done if Jaden hadn't been there?" Carth asked calmly.

"I . . ."

"The Sith would have destroyed the moon looking for her. Millions would have lost their lives." He told his son quietly. Dustil knew that was a sure sign his father was furious.

He looked away. "I know I screwed up. I should have made sure I wasn't being followed. I know that. But it doesn't change the fact that Jaden needs help."

"Dustil, you were with the Sith. You of all people should know what they are capable of." Carth said tamping down on the urge to hold him close. He could have lost his son, and that would have destroyed him. He hated even mentioning the time that Dustil was away from him, but . . .

"All the more reason for me to help her, but . . ."

"But what?" He asked with a sigh. Dustil looked at his father, then away and sat down heavily.

"Jaden said, and I quote, 'You're the wrong bloody Onasi. I need your father and he needs to agree to this on his own', end quote." Dustil rubbed his eyes and asked, "Why did you refuse to help her?"

"The reasons are my own." Carth told him after a few minutes of thought. "It's something Jaden and I have to work out for ourselves." He added. Dustil didn't say anything; he just stared at his feet, waiting for the angry tirade from his father for his stupidity. Instead, Carth asked why he had gone on his "Damn idealistic crusade."

* * *

Carth was still puzzling through Dustil's tale when he reached his quarters. _What did Jaden's balance in the Force have to do with anything?_ He asked himself as he closed the door behind him. His son had gone to Nar Shadda to find Jaden based on some legend he had unearthed in the Jedi archives. Carth wasn't sure how that explanation was going to go over with the Republic or the Jedi Council. He shook his head and looked around. Jaden wasn't there but he could hear his shower running.

"Get a grip, Onasi." He muttered when a stab of longing shot through him. He took off his uniform jacket and tossed it over the back of a chair. Dustil had asked him not to be angry, but how could he not be? Jaden had lied to him. Kwyn had asked if it really mattered and whether Carth would have believed the truth, but he never had the chance to find out. Once again the Force, somehow, had manipulated his life, and he was tired of it.

Carth felt, more than heard, when Jaden entered the room. He glanced over his shoulder to find her standing in the doorway of his bedroom. He returned to pouring the two glasses of Tarisian Ale. She'd replaced her own shirt with one of his. It did little to hide the incredible body beneath. Jaden was almost as tall as he was, her legs encased in second-skin pants, were long and lean. She had the face of an angel, even though her chin held a hint of stubborn to it. But, it was her eyes he found so compelling. The green was rich and reminded him of the meadows of Telos, before Saul and the Sith had destroyed the planet. They were crystal clear and could draw him in. Most of the time, they held a mischievous light, but he had also seen them darken with anger, and cloud with pain, as they were now. He closed his eyes briefly to bolster his own courage and picked up the glasses. Jaden now stood next to the couch, looking like a beautiful, but beaten shadow of her self. He handed her one glass of ale and noticed that her hand shook when she accepted it.

"Thank you for rescuing Dustil, and looking out for him." He said softly.

"You're welcome." Carth stepped away from her. "I didn't . . ."

"I know. He told me it was all his idea." He answered as he turned toward the window.

"Did he tell you why he did it?" Jaden asked unable to keep the hesitancy out of her voice. If Carth heard it, he gave no indication.

"We'll talk about his reasons later." He said. Jaden accepted that this was going to be a long conversation and one she wouldn't be able to handle standing up so she set the glass of ale down and moved around the couch to sit down.

"Why did you lie to me, Jaden?" He asked softly, heroically trying to hold on to his temper. The pain of his sense of betrayal ripped through him, and Jaden could feel it stabbing at her. She huddled into the corner of the couch, drew her knees up and wrapped her arms around them. Jaden's attempt to shield herself was in vain though, the assault continued and brought tears to her eyes.

When she hadn't immediately answered, Carth spun around intent on tearing into her. Jaden was curled into the corner of the couch, staring into space. Tears streamed slowly down her cheek, but she made no move to wipe them away.

"You still loved her." She whispered. "You still believed in her."

"But, why?" Carth asked. Jaden still didn't look at him.

"The first word you spoke, when you woke in the medical center, was her name. Revan was dead. What purpose did it serve to tell you the truth? To tell you she was part of the dark side? You were in critical condition and devastated by the news of her death."

Carth turned back to the window, his hands clenched into fists. "You thought you were doing me a favor by not telling me?" He asked incredulously.

"Yes. I saw no reason to destroy whatever good memories you had of Revan. Causing you more pain was not my intention. I wanted to pro . . ." Jaden's voice caught, "To protect you from what she was, and what she was planning to do." She suddenly felt her body wracked by icy shudders. She couldn't hold back the sobs, so she buried her face in her hands and let them come.

"I'm sorry, Carth. I never meant to hurt you. I never intended for you to find out, or get hurt when you did." She told him. When Jaden had exited his bedroom and saw him, she could see the bandages encasing his chest. "I am so sorry. I only wanted to protect you." She whispered as she sobbed behind her hands and rocked back and forth. "You loved her. All those years you waited, and loved, and Revan . . ."

Carth closed his eyes and found the anger he felt drain from him.

"I'm sorry, for all of it, my part in all of it." Jaden told him in between the fits of sobbing. She curled away from him when Carth sat beside her and tried to pull her close. He had no idea what that apology covered.

"Shhh." He said soothingly as he put his arm around her and pulled her into an embrace.

"I should have told you, I know that, but I couldn't. Destruction is forbidden and it would have destroyed you."

"I'm made of stronger stuff than you think." He told her as he rubbed her back trying to infuse her shivering body with his warmth.

"You have no idea." She whispered.

"Oh, I'm beginning to suspect that too." He told her as he kissed her brow. When he moved to grab the throw at the end of the couch, Jaden clung to him. He managed to grab the corner and put it around her shoulders. As Jaden's shivers slowed, her sobbing turned to hiccups.

"Here." Carth said, holding the glass of ale to her lips. Jaden took a couple of small sips.

"Thanks."

He set the glass on the table behind the couch and then pulled Jaden closer. They sat that way for several minutes, in silence and personal contemplation.

"Jaden, did I die that day? Had Revan killed me?"

"Yes." She answered, turning her head further into his shoulder.

"So . . . It's not a Force bond."

"No. In order to restore your life, I . . . gave you part of my Midiclorians."

"The Force."

Jaden nodded, expecting the next outburst from him. Instead, he tightened his arms around her. "So it was your memory of that day I experienced."

Again, Jaden nodded as she ran her hand over the bandages around his chest. "I don't know what triggered it, Carth. I'm sorry you were injured."

"At least I didn't die again." He sighed. Jaden squeezed her eyes shut as the hand on his chest closed tight.

"Hey," he said taking her fist in his hand and bringing it to his lips, "Bad joke. I'm sorry." He added when he placed her hand back on his chest and covered it with his own.

Carth propped his boots on the table and let his head fall back on the couch. Jaden uncurled her own legs, and moving the throw, placed her feet over his and snuggled closer to him.

"That day in my room, when you told me we shared a bond? I got so angry that I hurt you, without touching you. How?"

"Your anger was fueling the dark side and vice versa. You began drawing the dark side of the Force from me."

"I was taking your Midiclorians?"

"Yes. If Dustil hadn't been there to stop you, you would have eventually killed me."

Carth sucked in an audible breath.

"Dustil is correct about my need to remain balanced in the Force. I have to maintain neutrality with a little room for light and dark side swings when the occasion calls for it. But, if I spend to much time with one side or the other, it starts to drain my own Midiclorians and could kill me."

"Dustil was a buffer for Atton." He stated.

Jaden nodded. "Visas would have been enough, until I found a dark sider to off-set Atton. Dustil's neutral standing in the Force, however, was making the journey more bearable. That's why, as Visas surmised, I didn't drop him at the first Republic base we came to."

"That," Carth raised his head and looked at her, "And you knew I would be looking for you after the incident on Nar Shadda."

"Yeah."

Carth sighed, "Jaden, were you really going to break Canderous out of the prison on Onderon?"

Jaden looked up at him and brought her hand to the side of his face, "I am going to break Canderous out of the prison on Onderon."

He closed his eyes, turned his head and kissed her palm before he opened one eye and looked at her. "You can't do that, Jaden."

"I need him, Onasi. Besides, you know as well as I do that Canderous was imprisoned on false charges. Vaklu's little insurrection didn't work so he had to find someone to blame for his folly. Canderous was his scapegoat. Vaklu is still planning on seceding from the Republic. I'm afraid he may have the means to do it now." She said lowering her hand.

"This is a discussion for another time." He said as he untangled himself from Jaden. Her nearness was driving him mad. So mad, he couldn't think straight for wanting her, and it was sending him toward the edge. His thought brought him up short and he asked, "Am I me?"

"What?" Jaden asked as she sat up on the couch and tucked her legs beside her.

"Am I me, or you? Do I want to lose myself in you because you're beautiful and intriguing and sexy as hell, or do I want you because I am you?"

"You want me?" She asked with a sly smile.

"Jaden." He warned.

"You're every handsome, intriguing, and sexy as hell inch, you."

"But your memory."

"Is just that, Carth, a memory, I relived it right along side you. I felt your pain when Revan . . ." The power of the emotion that came over her was staggering. She swallowed it down and watched him. He winced a little and absently rubbed his side. Jaden slightly moved two fingers and drew the pain away from him. She did it again, this time with a little more power behind it. When Carth didn't move or cry out, an idea began to take shape in her mind. She would need to think about it further, but if she could take back her power, a little at a time . . .

Carth knew he needed to get the conversation back on track or he would have her naked on the couch in a few minutes. "All right," He said turning away his prurient thoughts, "This balance theory, is that why you had Visas train me to control the Force you gave me?" He asked putting distance between himself and the couch.

"Yes. I didn't know what would happen if, say, Bastila trained you. I contacted Visas, explained what was going on and she agreed to come and instruct you." Maybe it was for the best that he asked the questions and she would answer them. Trying to explain the whole situation was daunting and Jaden wasn't sure she could get through it with her emotions so raw at this point.

"Dustil said . . ." Carth looked at her stricken, "was he? Did you?"

"No. Dustil was badly injured, but I only used the Force to stabilize him until the medical teams arrived."

"Okay . . . Okay," He said nodding. Jaden frowned at him, but didn't say anything. "Where did you go when you left?"

_Now_, Jaden thought, _they were entering tricky territory_. "I went home." She said quietly.

Carth covered his face with his hands, "Where is home, Jaden?" When she didn't answer, he lowered his hands and looked at her. "This . . . Valley of the Jedi?" He asked.

"The Valley of the Jedi."

Carth fell into the chair he was standing by. He alternated between looking at her and looking away. Jaden could see and feel him trying to put his scattered thoughts into some kind of order. Now was the time Jaden could have told him everything but something held her back. Several times Carth looked ready to speak, but he changed his mind each time. Jaden waited patiently, occasionally drinking from the ale she now held in her lap.

"You're a Midiclorian?" He asked confused.

"No, human, like you. I just have an extraordinarily high Midiclorian count."

"So this legend Dustil told me about?" He asked

"True, for the most part."

"You embody the Force." He stated.

"The story tellers have to call it something." Jaden said with a shrug. "Four thousand years from now, the legend will become a prophecy, and the embodier known as the chosen one."

Carth thought on that for a moment but didn't comment. Instead, he asked, "Are you the light side point you talked about?"

"From a certain point of view, yes."

"A certain point of view?" He asked.

Jaden chuckled, "Even I don't understand all of it, and I know it doesn't make much sense given my need to remain neutral. But, I'm the good guy in all this, the light side point."

"The Exile. He's the bad guy, the dark side point." He said after a few moments thought.

"Yes."

"So if he found the Valley of the Jedi, what would happen? How could he plunge the galaxy into darkness and despair?"

Jaden sighed, "He's grown powerful enough that he could corrupt the Midiclorians. Since they are the life form that binds the galaxy together, the dark side would fan out, like a shockwave, and touch every living thing. Especially those strong in the Force."

This time Carth jumped from the chair as if it had burned him, and began to pace. He stopped mid-stride and looked at her. Jaden could feel the fear radiating from him. "What if he finds you first, and destroys you?"

"That's not going to happen." She said softly.

"Damn it, Jaden! Answer me!" He demanded as he went back to pacing.

"Besides being dead," she sighed, "and unable to stop him . . ." Very_ tricky territory._

"Are you strong enough to face him?" He asked quickly, studying her.

Jaden's heart began to break. He was concerned about her; he cared about her despite everything up to this point. Now she was going to betray the trust he had shown her.

"Not at this time." She said quietly and with resignation.

"Then why the hell are you doing this?" He exploded. "If you're not strong enough now, why the hell did the . . . Force . . . Why aren't you in hiding, in training, in something, until you're ready?" He ranted. Jaden closed her eyes against the pull of the dark side from him and waited. Carth was furiously pacing.

"You had to have been strong enough to defeat Revan, hell, you killed her with ease." He snapped, waving his hand in her direction. "What happened to . . .?"

_And there it is_, Jaden thought, she didn't need to see his reaction to know that he reached out blindly and staggered back, as if gut punched. After several moments, Jaden, with tears threatening told him the rest of the story.

"I did go into hiding. But I had to hide in plain sight. The only way to do that was to conceal part of my power so I wouldn't appear so strong in the Force."

"And the one-minded and stupid Carth Onasi was handy." He sneered.

"No!" Jaden shouted looking at him. He was barely holding it together, but the resentment towards her blazed from his eyes. "When I did go home, I finished whatever training I could, and healed myself. While I was there, the Midiclorians told me I would have to face the Exile. The time was approaching when the Force would be dangerously out of balance. If I was to succeed, I would need to retrieve my hidden power, in order to defeat the Exile."

"So you just happened to show up on the edge of the Unknown Regions, right where I am, with the Sith on your heels." Carth growled. Jaden couldn't counter that accusation because it was partly true. He picked up some knick-knack and hurled it across the room. It shattered on impact causing Jaden to jump.

"Then take it, Jaden. Take your damned Force power back and get the hell out of my sight!"

"I can't." She told him, "It could kill you." Jaden added in a whisper.

"Damn you!" Carth snarled angrily and stormed out of his quarters.


	7. Chapter 6

Visas listened as Kwyn and Atton swapped war stories and other more recent adventures as they ate dinner in the officers' lounge. She listened patiently, making the appropriate comments, but she was more in tune with what was going on with Jaden. Visas felt her friend's sadness and something more, she couldn't place what it was, but then came the pain.

"Well, I don't think that conversation went very well." Atton commented.

"What do you mean?" Kwyn asked as he took a bite of his food. Visas looked up to see Carth angrily striding past the windows of the lounge.

"Visas?" Atton asked trying to draw her attention

"Jaden." She whispered. Atton tossed his napkin on the table and stood up.

"Come on." He said helping her to stand.

"Go after him, Atton." She told him. Kwyn also stood and demanded to know what was happening. "I'll explain on the way."

"Where does that corridor go?" Atton wanted to know.

"The training rooms. I'll go with you."

"No. Take Visas to Jaden, stay with them." Atton said.

"Atton, you must turn the direction of his anger." Visas told him.

Atton nodded his understanding. "Give me your saber." He said holding out his hand and flexing his fingers. Visas unclipped it and gave it to him.

"What the hell is going on?" Kwyn demanded, "You are not going after the Admiral with a light saber!"

"General, please. You must trust us." Visas said touching his arm.

"No, Visas. Not until you tell me what is going on."

"We don't have time for this." Atton said hastily and went after Carth.

"Please Kwyn, I must get to Jaden. I'll explain what I can on the way." She said as she headed for the turbo lift. Kwyn shook his head and followed as Visas began explaining.

"You're not making any sense. How can Carth being angry have any effect on Jaden? I've never heard of a force bond doing that."

"It's not a bond, General. Jaden gave some of her Force energy to the Admiral to restore his life."

"Visas," He said opening the door to Carth's quarters. Jaden was lying on the floor, curled into a ball and gasping for breath.

"With bonds you share feelings. Since Jaden gave the Admiral part of herself, if he becomes violently angry, as he is, then the power to fuel that anger is drawn from her, draining her life."

"He's . . . killing her?" Kwyn asked as he watched the helpless Jaden.

"Yes." Visas said simply as she bent down next to Jaden.

"Atton. I need Atton." Jaden gasped.

"He went after the Admiral." Visas told her.

"That . . . could . . .work too."

"Are there any other Jedi's on board?" Visas asked looking at Kwyn.

"Yes. We always travel with . . ."

"No!" Jaden ground out behind the pain, "No one must know."

"Jaden, I'm not strong enough to help you with this." Visas whispered.

"I know. Atton . . . can do this . . . he pisses . . . people off . . . all the time."

* * *

_Turn his anger, how the hell was he supposed to do that, _Atton asked himself. He had caught up to Carth and indeed; it looked like Carth was headed for a training room. Well, maybe a few rounds would do the poster-boy some good, but not as long as Jaden was the object he envisioned.

"Hey Admiral, wait up!" Atton called out as Carth turned into a room. Carth spared him a venomous look and continued in the room. Atton slipped in before the doors shut and took a quick look around. The room was empty, except for Carth, who was striding around looking like he wanted to hit something. When he had come close enough to where Atton stood, he quipped. "I'm surprised to see you. I thought you and Jaden would be having some hot Kuaquian Monkey sex about now."

Carth spun around, his fist all ready headed for Atton's face. Atton merely brought his hand forward and Force pushed him across the room. Carth's body slammed into the wall, knocking the breath from him.

* * *

Jaden drew in the first deep breath she had been able to for several minutes. Visas sagged against the couch. "He did it."

Jaden nodded, still drawing in deep breaths, "For the moment . . . at least."

* * *

Atton walked across the room to where Carth leaned against the wall, trying to catch his breath, holding one arm across his chest.

"I'm sorry, did that hurt?" Atton asked sweetly, "Here, let me take away the pain." He said raising his hand, then closed his fingers into a loose fist. Carth screamed out in excruciating pain and fell to his knees.

Atton squatted beside him. "I wonder if that's what it felt like when Jaden ripped out her own Force energy to restore someone else's sorry ass life."

Carth glared at him, his anger fully turned on Atton.

* * *

Kwyn felt helpless and useless as he watched Jaden gingerly uncurl herself. If he hadn't seen it, he never would have believed that his best friends anger could do something like this.

"Visas, tell T3 to ready the ship. I can't stay here." Jaden said trying to get up. Kwyn reached down, and taking her arm helped Jaden to stand. She leaned heavily against him and allowed herself to be helped to the couch.

"Jaden, you must . . ."

"I can't stay here, Visas. He's to volatile."

* * *

Carth tried to struggle to his feet, but each movement was piercing and stole his breath.

"Ready for round two?" Atton asked as he dropped Visas's light saber in front of him. Carth said nothing as he stared at the saber.

Atton stood in front of him, his feet apart, and his hands at his side. He hit the switch on his own blade and it sprang to life, inches from Carth's head. "So what gets under your skin more?" He asked, "The fact that she killed Revan to save you from being used, humiliated and, most likely slaughtered by your sweetheart, or the fact that she is the very thing that has screwed with your existence from the day the Sith butchered your wife."

Atton took one step back and raised his blade to block Carth's attack.

"What's the matter, Onasi? Doesn't the poster boy for the Republic, like the idea of being known for almost plunging the galaxy to the dark side because he couldn't keep his hormones in check?"

Atton had to admit; he admired Carth's style and strength as he pressed his attack on Atton. Some of his moves were better suited to the use of a long sword, but Atton had no trouble blocking and parrying his moves. The Admiral had been practicing.

Atton and Carth battled for several minutes, pressing their advantages when they had them. After a particularly fierce exchange of thrusts and parry's they locked blades at the hilt each pushing against the other, breathing heavily.

"Be careful, Admiral, fear . . . and . . . and anger lead to the dark side." Atton told him before pushing Carth away. Carth stumbled backward. "And the dark side will destroy Jaden."

* * *

Jaden was still drawing in deep breaths but it was becoming easier and the knife sharp pain was receding. Visas sat beside her, meditating while Kwyn paced back and forth. He would look at Jaden occasionally, then close his eyes and continue his back and forth journey. "Why is this taking so long?" Kwyn muttered.

"Because Atton is kicking his ass . . . for good measure." Visas said quietly.

Jaden knew it was dangerous and she could feel her pain increase as she tried to link with Carth, but she was too weak and his anger, though not with her, was too strong to endure.

* * *

The two men circled each other, panting, not taking their eyes from each other.

"Should we recap?" Atton stated, "Jaden saves the reputation of someone, you, she's never met, then she restores your life at great cost to herself." Atton paused and took a deep breath. "Let's see . . . What have you done? Shown her nothing but contempt while you wallow in your own self-indulgent pity party for the woeful life of Carth Onasi."

"No!" Carth yelled and came at Atton with renewed energy. Again, it was a back and forth battle of wills and strength.

"Jaden unselfishly gave you the best part of herself, knowing it would cost her." Atton yelled at him.

"No!" Carth screamed

"Knowing the cost to the galaxy at the end, so that you could live!"

"No!" Carth gasped as his strength began to leave him. Atton pressed his advantage against his tiring opponent.

"I'm sorry you lost your wife, Carth. I'm sorry Bastila lied to you about Revan and I'm sorry Revan returned to the dark side and was, once again, going to use the Force to manipulate you for her own selfish gains." Atton said right before he tripped Carth causing him to fall on his back, Atton's blade at his heart. Carth stared up at Atton, his hands out to the side, panting. He let Visas's light saber fall beside him.

"Know this, Onasi. Jaden can't defeat the Exile with what power she has. For some unfathomable reason, she won't take what is rightfully hers because she's afraid it might kill you. I, on the other hand, have no such qualms about . . . releasing what is necessary for her to restore the balance to the Force. The needs of the many, Admiral."

Carth whispered the rest of the quote and closed his eyes. Atton switched off his light saber and walked away, but not before retrieving Visas saber with a quick force pull maneuver.

"Jaden cares for you, Carth. So deeply, she is willing to return to the Force, having failed in the ultimate goal to restore balance. I hope to hell you can live with that while everything and everyone around you falls into darkness." Atton reached the door of the training room and turned around. "You need to resolve the conflict within you. She's very easy to love, when you let yourself. Don't let her return to the Force thinking you only held animosity towards her. Jaden deserves better than that."

Carth continued to lie on the floor in the middle of the room long after the doors had snicked shut.

* * *

_Atton had broken him_, Jaden thought as she lay in Carth's bed, staring at the passing stars through the view port. When Jaden asked where Carth was, Atton told her "He was on his back, on the floor of the training room." She also knew Atton hadn't told them everything, but she didn't press him for the details. They would be leaving in the morning for Onderon and she would have to reconcile the fact that she wouldn't be seeing Carth again. Jaden only hoped that by the time she had to face the Exile, she could defeat him without her full power.

She wanted to be alone, so she asked the others to leave so she could rest. After they left, Jaden had crawled into Carth's bed. It was three hours later when he returned and Jaden pretended to be asleep while he stood in the doorway and watched her. Several minutes passed before he moved away and Jaden sighed silently when the light in the other room switched off.

About an hour later, she gave up the pretense of trying to sleep. Jaden drew on the shirt she had borrowed from Carth and went into the other room. It would be morning soon, she knew from the way the ambient light was beginning to simulate sunrise. Carth was asleep on the couch, his hair tousled about his face. But, it wasn't an easy sleep as his breathing was labored and the muscles in his cheek would twitch with each breath. Atton had beaten him soundly, and on Jaden's behalf. She sat on the table beside him and stretched out her hand. She didn't touch him, only moved her hand over him, healing the fresh wounds, and removing the scars from the Force lightning, he had endured. His breathing evened out and his face relaxed in sleep. Jaden reached out with her fingertips and gently brushed his sable hair from his eyes.

"Why do you continue to heal me? Keep giving of yourself to me, when I have done nothing to deserve it?" He asked softly as he slowly opening his dark eyes. Carth saw she was pale and exhausted and it was all due to him. He had lost control of his anger and attacked her, once again, unknowingly hurting her. "How do I ask for your forgiveness, knowing I don't deserve it?" He whispered taking her hand. "How do I heal you?" He reached out and wiped the single tear from her cheek, before he sat up and took both her hands in his.

"I could use some strong arms to hold me while I sleep." She whispered. Carth drew her up with him when he stood and led her into his room.

* * *

The incessant beeping from the comm-link finally penetrated Carth's brain and he opened his eyes. Jaden was curled against his chest, her hand over his heart and he felt humbled by her. Maybe that's why he felt so confused. Hours before his anger was draining her life, and now she was curled against him, trusting as a child. He began to move away from her.

"Go away, T3." She mumbled. His lips turned up before he leaned over and kissed the corner of her mouth.

"T3? I never programmed you to do that!" Jaden replied opening her eyes and looking at him. He chuckled and moved away.

"I need to answer that." He said reluctantly.

"Hmm, captain of the ship and all that." She said around a yawn as she snuggled into the spot he left. Jaden breathed in the woodsy scent of him.

"Excuse me, Admiral of the ship and all that." He retorted, "Onasi." He added pressing the button on the comm.

"Open the damn door, or I'll cut it open with my saber." Atton's cheerful growl told him. Carth thought about ignoring him, but after what he had learned last night, that Atton was in love with Jaden, he didn't doubt the Jedi would carry through on his threat.

"I wonder why women aren't lining up for Atton, he's so charming." Jaden said sarcastically. When Carth laughed, he realized he had no pain.

"I'll see what Captain Charming wants." He said re-tucking his shirt in his pants. "Get some more sleep."

Carth closed the door to his room, and stretched. Nothing. No pain, not even a twinge. He couldn't think about it now as Atton was pounding on his door. He shook his head and crossed the room. When he opened the door, Atton, Visas, Kwyn and Dustil were standing there looking rather grim.

"Where are the droids?" He asked stepping back and letting them enter.

Kwyn frowned before telling him, "That T3 unit is guarding the Ebon Hawk like a mother guards her young."

"And HK?"

"Pestering T3 and the techs. You'd think they were married the way they carry on." Kwyn answered shaking his head.

"Where's Jaden?" Atton demanded.

"Sleeping. She's fine, Atton." Carth told him as the two men stared at each other. Dustil picked up on the tension between Atton and his father.

"What's going on?" He asked. Carth broke the eye contact first and looked at his son shaking his head.

"As fun as this is, I need to get to the bridge." Kwyn told the somber group. Obviously, Dustil didn't know about the events of the night before. "Here's the information you wanted." He said handing Carth a disk, who took it and dropped it in his pocket. Kwyn studied the diverse group, both glad and saddened that he wasn't really a part of it.

When Carth had stopped by his quarters last night, Kwyn recognized that Carth was prepared to walk away from everything he had built during his career with the Republic. Kwyn wasn't sure what Atton had said to his best friend, who had stood before him physically beaten, but there was a quiet air of determination and humility that surrounded Carth. "Good luck."

"You too." Carth answered.

Visas took note of the exchange, but said nothing. The Admiral had made his decision, for good or bad, and Jaden would be unable to stop him. "The Ebon Hawk is ready to go. We should be leaving." She said.

"No one is going anywhere." Carth said turning to his son and pointing his finger at Dustil, "Especially you."

"Damn it, father, I told you she . . ."

"Your father is right, Dustil." Visas cut in. "I know Jaden appreciates your help, but it is too dangerous for you to accompany us any further."

"But I can help her, Visas. You know I can help her until . . ." Dustil stopped talking. His father knew Jaden's plan to bust Canderous Ordo out of prison. Carth didn't challenge Dustil either. He wanted his son as far away from this situation as possible and if it meant putting Dustil in the brig, then he would.

"Jaden needs to rest." Carth said.

"She can't stay here, Admiral." Visas told him. "It is . . . risky."

"Yeah, especially after last night." Atton muttered. Carth glared at him but Atton only raised a brow daring Carth to deny it.

"What happened last night?" Dustil demanded to know. When he didn't get an immediate answer, he demanded again to know what had happened. Carth was spared from telling his besotted son that he had lost control of his temper and hurt Jaden, once again, by Jaden's appearance. She moved into the room and placed her hand on Dustil's shoulder.

"Nothing happened. I became upset when I realized how much danger I was putting your father and the crew of Sojourn in by being here. I was exhausted and over reacted.

"That's why you need me to go with you." He told her earnestly. Jaden gave his shoulder an affectionate squeeze.

"Everything will be fine." She told the boy before moving toward Carth and Atton. "You could do something for me though. Will you check on the droids and make sure the Ebon Hawk is really ready to go?"

"Sure." Dustil answered. He knew he was being shut out and that he was beat.

"Dustil?" Jaden called his name and he looked at her. "Thank you. For everything." She told him with a smile. He nodded and left the room.

"Want to go another round, poster boy?" Atton asked the moment the doors shut on Dustil.

"Name the time and place." Carth snapped.

"Visas, I give you Captain Charming and Admiral Avenger." Jaden said moving to the small kitchen area and programming some coffee for herself.

"Hey," Atton cried out, "If anyone's going to be Admiral Avenger, it's going to be me." Jaden rolled her eyes and Visas shook her head.

"Jaden, are you all right?" She asked noticing Jaden still looked pale and tired.

"I'll be fine, Visas."

"Sure, as long as Captain Charming keeps his temper in check." Atton mumbled

"Stop it, both of you." Jaden said looking at each man.

"Well he start . . ."

Carth raised his hand to his throat and Atton found he was unable to speak. Jaden tried to hide her smile and sent him a look filled with humor.

"Release him, Onasi." Carth lowered his hand.

"Ha ha, very funny." Atton said when he could speak.

"You're going to have to teach me that." Jaden said giving Atton's arm a quick rub when she went past him. At least something seemed well in the universe. Whatever had transpired between the two men last night, had transformed into a camaraderie of one-upmanship.

"If you'll teach me the trick you used on Dustil." He said and smiled when she gave him a who-me look. Carth was absolutely stunning when he smiled, Jaden noted. She ignored the twinge in her heart and sat down.

"I need to leave, Onasi. I wasn't lying when I told Dustil my presence here was endangering the Sojourn and her crew."

Carth didn't say anything to that because he knew it was true.

"We could be ready to go within the hour." Atton said.

"No."

"Admiral, you've been through this once. The Sith beat this ship to hell . . ."

"No, Jaden." He said raising his hand to stave off any comments. "We'll reach the outer edge of the Onderon system in a few hours. The Sojourn will get you there faster than the Ebon Hawk."

"And if the Sith are waiting when we drop out of hyperspace?" Atton asked.

"They could be waiting if we dropped out now in order to launch the ship." Visas answered him.

"Our chances of losing them would be greater at the edge of the system, than in deep space." Jaden said studying Carth. He was up to something.

"And the Sojourn will cover the escape." Carth added. They each kept their own counsel for several minutes. Atton didn't say anything as he watched Jaden and Carth. It was clear to him that the next few hours were going to hell. He sincerely wanted to spare Jaden the pain he could feel coming from her. And, he mentally kicked himself he could feel from Carth. Well, he decided, sitting around here wasn't doing anyone any good and, he admitted, it was hard to see the two of them together, given his feelings for Jaden. On the other hand, Atton knew he didn't want to change places with the Admiral either.

"Well then, poster boy, it looks like we can have our rematch, huh?"

"Atton." Visas scolded. Carth looked at him and gave him a smug smile.

"Two hours. Training Room B."


	8. Chapter 7

"How are you feeling?" Carth asked after Atton and Visas had left. Atton had been rubbing his hands together at the prospect of "whuppin' the poster boy" once again.

"I'll be fine." She told him with a tired smile.

"That's not what I asked you. Come on, I can see you're still exhausted. You should get some sleep"

"Why are you doing this?" She asked, "Taking us to Onderon." She tugged on his hand, pulling him down beside her on the couch. Carth put his arm around her and drew her close.

"You're determined to do this, to break Canderous out of prison. I can't change your mind, although as the Republic's highest-ranking government official here, I could imprison you for plotting a prison break. But, that won't help you. I understand now why you need Canderous."

"Thank you." She said taking his hand in hers.

"If he had been here last night, how would that have helped you?" He asked.

"Canderous leans towards the dark side . . ."

"Really?" He drolled sarcastically.

" . . . He would have . . . deflected . . . some of the dark side your anger was trying to draw from me."

"I would have drawn from him? Instead of you?" He asked.

"I guess that's a good way to put it."

"So, if you're exposed to the dark side, it drains your life."

"Um-hmm"

"What happens if you're exposed to the light side?"

"I'll literally die of happiness." She said with a faint smile.

"Jaden." He sighed thinking she was joking.

"No joke, Onasi. It would be the same as if I OD'd on the drug Rapture. I would be a happy woman, but I wouldn't know that it was killing me. So, if I get too giddy feel free to get angry. Surprisingly enough, I prefer the pain because I know what is happening."

"Atton goaded me last night, then threw me across the room."

"To break your concentration on me; turn your anger towards him. That broke the flow of the dark side you were drawing from me."

"Then where did my rage come from when he accused me of . . . where did it come from?" He asked.

"There is light and dark in each of us. What we experience in our life helps to determine our path. The rage, or anger, you felt last night toward Atton, was your own." She told him.

"But I could take or leave Atton. I never really had to deal with him in the past."

"Then he touched something in you that angered you. What did he say?" She looked up at him.

"That's between the two of us." Carth told her not wanting to share the shame he felt when every one of Atton's accusations hit their mark.

"So why the rematch?" Jaden asked sitting up beside him. She let her fingers play through the hair at his nape.

"Apparently he has something against poster boys, whatever that means." He replied. Jaden grinned at him.

"Do gooders, too." She chuckled. His smile was one of resignation.

"This morning, when you healed me, I felt an . . . incredible sense of warmth and serenity. When you restored my life, Jaden, did it hurt you to do it? I mean physically, did it cause you pain?"

Jaden looked at him curiously. "Why?"

"Atton did something last night. He took away the pain he caused by tossing me across the room, but when he did it, it felt like my body was being turned inside out." He told her. "Is that what it did to you? To restore my life?"

"No." She told the lie quietly. Well it wasn't exactly a lie. It did cause her great pain to release that part of her, but not how he described. Jaden made a mental note to beat the crap out of Atton for using a dark side power such as drain life on Carth.

"Jaden, please. No more secrets." He said watching her.

"It wasn't like you described. Yes, it was painful, but not unbearable." Jaden wasn't sure Carth believed her because he looked ready to say something else. He only nodded and squeezed her hand.

"I need to head to the bridge for a bit. Get some rest and I'll come back and get you so you can cheer me on." He said standing and stretching.

"Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, last night his goal was to turn your anger away from me. Today his goal is to trounce you." She said watching him shrug into his uniform jacket then pull on his boots.

"Don't think I can take him?"

"Blasters, hand-to-hand, no problem. He's had many more years using a light saber than you have."

"Then you can judge how well Visas trained me, give me some pointers." He said leaning over and kissing her cheek. "Get some sleep and I'll see you in a bit."

Jaden did as he asked and lay on the couch. _Men_, she thought, _always needed to prove themselves_. She wasn't sure this match was a good idea, but she felt there was little she could do to stop it. Jaden would, however, set the rules.

* * *

When Jaden woke, Carth was sitting on the low table opposite her. He was dressed in a tan sleeveless shirt and black pants, spinning his light saber in one hand.

"You're bound and determined aren't you?" She asked, admiring the way the shirt molded to his body, his bare arms flexing with each spin of the saber. _Yep_, she thought, _a fine specimen of the human male_. "Give me a minute." Jaden told him rolling from the couch and standing. Carth's eye's lit up and a boyish grin split his face. She shook her head and went to change.

Apparently, word had gotten out, because when they arrived at the training room, the small gallery was filled with spectators. Several Jedi's joined Visas, Dustil and Kwyn and others, Jaden assumed, who were soldiers. Carth stiffened beside her making her wonder for a moment, curious at his reaction. Surely, he had conducted training classes before and probably for larger groups, and then it came to her.

"They don't know, do they?" She stated. Carth shook his head. "You can always call it off, say you have some Admiraling to do."

He shot her a derisive look from the corner of his eye. "And give Atton something to gloat about because I backed down? Bite your tongue!"

"He wouldn't if he knew why." She said quietly.

"Right. I'd never hear the end of it. It's time," he said looking at her, "to acknowledge the gift I've been given."

Atton strolled up to them before Jaden had a chance to respond. "You ready, poster boy?"

"Where did the audience come from?" Carth asked.

"Most were here when I got here. You can throw them out if you don't want them to see you get your ass kicked." Atton answered with a grin.

"Bring it on . . . youngling." He said with a raised brow, Jaden sighed.

"All right, children. I can't stop this foolishness, but I can regulate it. There are a couple of rules. First, don't kill each other, obviously. Second, no dismemberments and no force powers." Jaden said looking at Atton. "Above board, all of it."

"Yes, Mother." Both men said at the same time then grinned. Atton moved off to shed his jacket.

"Good luck." She said shaking her head in resignation.

"Any tips for me?" Carth asked as he handed her his jacket.

"Don't get killed?" Jaden told him with a wry smile, before she went to join the others in the gallery. Sitting next to Kwyn she asked, "Is the audience your doing?"

"Most know who Atton is. I guess they figured to stick around when he came in. If nothing else, we all get to find out if those hours spent with a long sword are going to pay off." He responded.

"Long sword?"

"Several hours a week. Carth destroyed a training droid the other day."

"Was that before or after he found out about Dustil?" She muttered. Kwyn didn't have a chance to answer when one of the older Jedi leaned forward.

"General, are you sure this is wise? A long sword is one thing, for the Admiral to just pick up a light saber . . ." his words dropped off as Atton came at Carth and Carth executed a perfect defense, pushing Atton back and meeting each of Atton's moves with strength and precision. "I stand corrected." The Jedi said with a good deal of awe in his voice. After the initial volley, there was dead silence in the training room. All eyes were on the two men circling each other.

"Mind your reach, Admiral." Visas quiet comment sounded like an explosion.

"Hey, no tips from the gallery." Atton answered. That brief comment cost Atton as Carth took advantage of the other mans break in concentration, and went on the offensive, stepping forward and swinging his saber under and up catching Atton at an odd angle. This time the exchange was fast and brief, and when it was done, Jaden called out,

"Mind your concentration, Atton."

The Jedi who had spoken earlier chuckled and looked at the other Jedi in the gallery. "Sounds familiar."

"Master Tuluk?" The questions unasked in those two words were numerous.

"I have no idea." Tuluk responded to the young man before he leaned forward again and whispered to Kwyn, "Would you care to enlighten me on where the Admiral's mastery with a light saber comes from?"

"Light saber, long sword . . ." Kwyn told the man, just as amazed as everyone else.

"Are just as different from a blaster and a gaffee stick. The blaster or saber wins every . . ."

"Time!" Jaden called out before the discussion could go any further. Both men turned off their weapons and took in gulping breaths of air. Jaden and Visas went down to join them.

"Who is Tuluk?" Jaden asked Carth quietly when she reached him.

"He's the Master in charge of the Jedi, why?"

_Besides making me uneasy, _ "Well this . . . match is generating a lot of questions. Questions that are making General Lavek uncomfortable." Jaden told him then added in a whisper, "I knew this was a bad idea."

"Jaden, it'll be fine. I'll talk to Tuluk." Carth told her looking over her shoulder at the man in question who was studying him.

"I should have left this morning."

"Sweetheart . . ."

"Onasi, men like Tuluk take their dedication to the Jedi Order very, _very_ seriously. He's strong in the force and you can't tell him the truth or be flippant about this." She said.

"She's right, Admiral." Visas added. Carth sighed.

"I can't very well ask him to leave at this point. I'll think of something."

Jaden knew there was nothing more to be done. She would have to rely on him to come up with something plausible. She nodded in agreement and she and Visas left the two men on the floor.

"Nice job on training him, by the way." she told Visas as they walked backed to the gallery.

"I had a good foundation to work with. The excellent physical specimen was a bonus." Visas said lightly. Jaden couldn't have stopped her laugh if she wanted to. Carth heard the sound and thought she needed to laugh more. It was beautiful and melodic.

"What's so funny?" Kwyn asked when Jaden and Visas joined him.

"Girl talk." Jaden replied and sat down. "He said he would talk to Tuluk," she added quietly, "I'm sorry, Kwyn. I know this is uncomfortable and I never should have allowed it."

"Actually, he thinks Revan must have trained him when they went after Malak." He whispered back.

"Did he say that?" She asked as Carth and Atton went at it again.

"Works for me." Kwyn answered with a shrug.

* * *

"What was that all about?" Atton asked when he was shoulder to shoulder with Carth.

"Tuluk is asking questions." He replied before pushing Atton away. The next time they found themselves close enough Atton added,

"Like why you know how to use a saber?"

"Yeah." He said putting his weight behind his next push off.

They began circling each other again and when Atton's back was to the gallery, he said, "Well, you can't tell him about Jaden or Visas training you."

"I know. I'll think of something." Carth replied as he swung at Atton, who moved out of the way, causing Carth to swing at the air.

"So, we gunna dance all day?" Atton asked loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Ha ha." Carth said before he quickly swung his saber up, twisted it, and spun Atton's blade away from him. There were cheers from the gallery when they realized what their Admiral had done.

"I didn't teach him that." Visas said quietly.

Atton took three steps back and retrieved his saber through a force pull and they were back at it. "Impressive."

Both men were nearly exhausted when they took their next break. This time Carth walked over to the gallery and began to chug the water that he took from Dustil.

"Admiral, your mastery of a light saber is quite impressive." Tuluk commented. Carth spared a look for Jaden before answering the Jedi.

"Thank you, though I am a bit rusty."

"Rusty?" Tuluk asked.

"The feel of it in my hand. It's been a few years since Revan taught me. I know it was probably against one of the Order's rules but she wanted me to know in case I came across Malak when we were looking for the Star Forge."

"Well, you should practice with one more often. You're very gifted and a long sword, while similar, just doesn't match it." Tuluk said.

"If you'll practice with me, I'm willing to learn more." Carth told him with an easy smile. Tuluk excused himself and he and the Jedi filed out. All six of them let out a sigh of relief.

"Do you think he bought it?" Visas asked.

"Well he can't very well ask Revan about it, can he?" Kwyn said without thinking. "Sorry." He added after a moment.

Carth shook his head, "It's okay. You're right and the records are sealed."

"What if he asks Bastila?" Dustil piped in.

"Doesn't matter. Besides, what would he do? Throw me out of an order I'm not even a part of?" Carth answered giving the empty container back to him. "Don't worry about it."

"One more?" Atton asked and Carth nodded.

_They were evenly matched_, Jaden thought as she watched them battle back and forth for a full ten minutes. There was a lot of shoving and a few back fisted jabs to the face that they both managed to avoid . . . most of the time, but she could see they actually enjoyed beating on each other. It almost appeared to be some type of rite of passage as they tried to on-up each other and traded insults.

As she watched them, Jaden fought back the emotional rending of her soul. She was going to be gone in a few hours and would probably never see Carth again. The fact that he knew everything now didn't change a thing for Jaden. Well, almost everything. She was still determined to see to it that Carth would be able to fulfill his dream of retiring to Telos and live in peace. The hours they shared would have to be enough for her. She could not ask anything more of him when she felt she had all ready asked enough; forgiveness for everything Jaden had done.

She returned her attention to the two men in time to see Carth execute the perfect balance of strength and finesse as he countered Atton's attack through half-spins, a high jump, low crouch and finally sending Atton to the floor with a side kick, his blade at Atton's chest. The soldiers in the gallery erupted in cheers and high fives to each other.

"Very impressive." Atton told him.

"Learned that one last night." Carth said switching off his saber and holding his hand out. Atton took it and allowed himself to be pulled up. "Thank you, Atton." He told him quietly. Atton nodded as they walked toward the gallery.

Carth acknowledged the calls of congratulations with a quick salute, then told the men to get back to their stations. He knew it wouldn't take long for it to be all over the ship that their non-Jedi commanding officer just beat a Jedi; a legendary Jedi.

"I never taught you that." Visas said as they approached. Carth leaned over and kissed her cheek.

"You just don't remember."

"Good think Tuluk wasn't here to see that." Kwyn said shaking Carth's hand.

"Wow, Father. That was incredible."

"Now you know your old man can still kick your butt." Carth said as he slung his arm around Dustil's shoulder and looked at Jaden with a beaming smile.

"Nice job." She told him. His smile collapsed.

"Nice?"

"Don't get cocky, Onasi." Jaden told him though her lips were twitching. She was very proud of him.

"I'd like to see you do better." He said clearly issuing a challenge to her with narrowed eyes.

Jaden thought for a moment. They were alone, no one was watching anymore and she could use the workout. It would go a long way towards working the soreness from her limbs and allow her to let the Force flow freely within her.

"All right. But not you. Atton."

"Why not?"

"Me?" They said at the same time.

"I won't run the risk of hurting you." She told Carth and he nodded in understanding.

"Oh, but me you'll hack to pieces?" Atton asked rolling his eyes.

"Take it or leave it."

"What do you say, Atton? 'Fraid to take on a girl?" Carth asked keeping his eyes on Jaden. Beauty, strength and grace. He was going to enjoy this.

"Oh what the hell, I haven't used up my quota of death wishes for the week."

Carth held out his saber for her, but she shook her head, reached behind her and produced her own.

"Jaden, is it okay to use that?" Dustil asked.

"What should she fight with, kid?" Atton asked. When Jaden engaged the weapon, Atton spun away from the silver white blade. "Ah, crap. The whole package." He muttered.

"It'll be something to tell the grandkids, Atton." Carth quipped as he and the others moved away.

"What's so special about her saber?" Kwyn asked Visas.

"Only she can wield it."

"Oh."

Jaden shed her own jacket and shook her arms to loosen up the sleeves to Carth's shirt. He knew instantly he would never look at his shirts in quite the same way. Well, that, and if he wasn't careful, Jaden would abscond off with them all. _Although_, he thought, _she looked a hell of a lot better in them then he did_. The soft fabric draped and clung in all the right places. When she moved, countering Atton, she almost looked fluid.

"You ready?" Atton asked anxious to get his second butt-whupping of the day over with. "Be gentle with me."

"I still don't understand." Kwyn said right before Jaden raised her blade in a salute then swung it to the side before going after Atton with lightning fast moves, forcing him to counter every strike and retreat. When Atton did have one offensive move, Jaden countered by back-flipping away and meeting Atton's blade before her feet had really touched the floor.

"Oh."

"Wow." Dustil said softly.

Carth watched fascinated. Every move was as natural as breathing. Overhand, underhand, both hands and switching hands depending on what Atton was doing. _No, _he thought, _what Atton was planning on doing_. Jaden always seemed to be a move ahead of Atton. A curious feeling came over him, one of strength, anticipation and vision. In his minds eye he too could 'see' what Atton's next move was going to be a hairsbreadth before he did it.

Jaden and Atton stepped away from each other to take a break and the feeling faded, but not before Carth felt something else. His eyes snapped to Jaden, who was swinging her arms back and forth. She didn't just care about him, she was in love with him, but there was still something missing in the puzzle. She still withheld something from him that was vital. He could sense it.

"You know, even at . . . half strength, you're too strong for me." Atton told her panting.

"Bantha poo doo. You're not using the Force Atton. Let go, let it flow through you." She told him before she switched her saber on. Atton took a deep breath and raised his own.

This time, their sparing had taken on a different dimension. They were quicker, Atton better able to be on the offensive, forcing Jaden to be more defensive and quicker. She lowered her blade briefly and pointed at him. "Now you've got it." She said then swung into an offensive barrage of moves that stunned their audience. Atton met each one.

Although much quicker than Carth's moves, Jaden executed the same half turns, jump and crouch before Atton side kicked her to the floor. The only difference this time was Jaden had her saber across her body, ready to deflect Atton's blade. She knocked it aside before performing a half twist somersault and lifting her blade behind her back to deflect his next attack. Pulling her blade up, sent Atton's dangerously close to his head but he bent back and quickly lowered his blade to block Jaden's swing as she turned around.

"Amazing." Kwyn whispered.

Carth felt a tremendous amount of pride as he watched Atton and Jaden grin at each other and go at it again. She glowed, he thought, as bright as her blade, which seemed to be pulsating with each strike. Last night she seemed beaten and a shadow of herself. Now, she was life and she loved him.

And as quick as a snap, the air in the training room changed. Jaden's blade dulled and her aggression grew fierce. Atton was valiantly defending himself, but he knew, as did Carth and Visas, that something was terribly wrong.

"What's happening? Jaden?" Atton called out.

"I don't know. Atton get out of there, before she hurts you." Visas told him. Carth stood up to go down to the floor, Visas right behind him. Both had their own sabers at the ready.

"What's going on?" Dustil asked.

"I don't know. Stay there." Carth told his son. "Jaden? Listen to me, Jaden." He said, and then he felt it, a cold devastation roll through him, like death, seeking its ultimate target . . . through the Force.

"Something's happened. It will pull her under if we don't do something." Visas said.

"It's not the dark side. She'd be in pain. It's almost like Jaden's not even here." Carth said. He watched with horror as Jaden used a particularly vicious punch on Atton, sending him stumbling and giving Jaden the opportunity to disarm him. Carth started forward, but Visas stopped him.

"No. If you're feeling what she is, she will pull you under too."

"Visas, she's going to kill him if we don't stop her."

The move Jaden used to disarm Atton caused his saber to flip in the air. Jaden caught it and had both blades crossed at Atton's throat before he had hit the floor.

"_JADEN, NO!_" Carth roared. It seemed like an eternity, when in actuality it was only a few seconds, before Jaden stumbled back. The revulsion of what she was about to do clear on her face.

"What have I done?" She cried out in agony as both sabers clattered to the floor. She fell to her knees and grabbed on to Carth who had run over to catch her. Jaden was rocking in his arms trying to catch her breath. She was cold, ice cold.

"Are you okay?" He asked Atton quietly, as Visas and Kwyn helped him up.

"Yeah. What happened? One minute we were fine, in the next she was . . . I don't know, it was like she was beating back demons or something. Is she okay?"

"Jaden?" Carth asked her, trying to work some warmth back into her body.

"Dantooine." She whispered with a far away look in her eyes. He exchanged looks with Visas and Atton.

"Kwyn, check on the Jedi enclave on Dantooine."

Kwyn nodded and went to do as he was asked. When he returned, he was grim. The group still sat on the floor, Carth holding Jaden, but he had put her coat on her. It was a silent group, all of them rallying around the pale and shaken Jaden. He managed to catch Carth's eye and indicated that he should join him.

"Jaden?"

"Go. Find out what you can. The worst has passed." She told him moving out of his arms and wiping the tears from her eyes. When he had moved off to speak with Kwyn she turned to Atton. "Nothing I can ever say will tell you how sorry I am."

"What happened, Jaden?" Atton asked taking her hand. She gave him a weak smile. That one gesture meant more to her than he would ever know.

"It was like a thousand voices were singing, then screaming, then there was silence and death." She whispered.

* * *

"How is she?" Kwyn asked.

"Better."

"What happened?"

"I don't know. What did you find out?" Carth asked. Kwyn closed his eyes and sighed.

"The Jedi Enclave is gone."

"What do you mean, gone?"

"Gone. There's a big crater in its place. The guy I talked to was some low-level government guy. He didn't even know how to contact the Republic, so he was pretty happy to hear from me."

"What did he say happened?" Carth asked

"He was out on patrol, so he wasn't sure, but he did say the Enclave was now a hole in the ground and the Matale estate they were using was in ruins. They're searching for survivors, but they haven't found to many." When Carth didn't say anything, Kwyn went on. "I contacted Coruscant and they ordered the Sojourn to Dantooine. They're also sending a medical frigate."

"How soon before we reach Onderon?"

"Still a couple of hours. Admiral, we can't . . ."

"I know." Carth sighed.

"But?" Kwyn asked

"Jaden can't go any where near Dantooine, you saw what this much distance did, it would kill her. Prepare the men for battle stations. We're going to have to drop out of hyperspace in order for the Ebon Hawk to take off. As soon as the ship is clear, you can jump back into hyperspace and head for Dantooine." Carth said formulating a plan in his mind.

"Me?" Kwyn asked having picked up on Carth's use of the word 'you'.

"I'm going with her, Kwyn."

"And what do I say when they ask for you, Admiral?"

"Tell them I resigned." Carth snapped and began walking away. He stopped, sighed and turned to Kwyn. "I'll deal with the Republic and the Jedi Council." He said then hung his head. "Kwyn, Bastila had gone to Dantooine."

"I'll see what I can find out." Kwyn said as he placed his hand on Carth's shoulder. He nodded and went to tell the others.

* * *

"Well?" Atton asked as Carth approached.

"I'm sorry. The enclave is gone."

"I have to leave. I can't go . . ." Jaden said as she struggled to stand. Carth looked at her. Not to long ago, she was full of life. Now, there was an air of death around her. He only nodded.

"The Ebon Hawk should be ready to go. I'd say we could leave in 30 minutes." Atton said.

"I told Kwyn to get the men to their battle stations."

"All right then. We'll meet you at the Ebon Hawk in 30 minutes." Atton told Jaden. She only nodded. Everything was spinning out of her control.

"Dustil, make sure she gets back to my quarters, okay?" The boy nodded. "Jaden. I need to check in with the Republic and the Jedi Council."

Jaden looked at him but didn't say anything. What could she say? She felt a different kind of death this time; it was her own. There wasn't going to be time to tell him goodbye. No time to tell him how she felt. No time to let him know that this was the last time she would see him; to tell him to live out his dream of returning to Telos.

"I'll catch up to you at the Ebon Hawk." Carth told her with a quick kiss.

Utter desolation was the only thing Carth could think of when he had looked at Jaden. What had she been thinking when she looked at him? Resignation, regret? Both those feelings had gnawed at him but he wasn't entirely sure that was right. All Carth knew at this point was that he had about 20 minutes to get to the Ebon Hawk.

* * *

"General Lavek, where is Jaden? She cannot go to Dantooine." Carth heard Master Vandar say when he entered the communications room.

"The Ebon Hawk is preparing to take off." Carth said as he moved to the center table. Kwyn was there along with Tuluk and several of the other officers of the Sojourn. He didn't sit, only watched as Master Vandar relaxed.

"With all due respect, Master Vandar, we do not have the time to launch some ship. We must divert our course for Dantooine immediately." Tuluk stated.

"We will launch the Ebon Hawk." Carth ground out. He never really liked the Master Jedi who was assigned to his ship, but had tolerated him. Something just never quite sat right with Carth about the man.

"Admiral, if we change course now, we still might be able to catch whoever did this."

"Damn it, Tuluk, the Sith!" Carth said picking up a mug and hurling it across the room. As it shattered again the wall, the room jumped. No one had ever seen their commanding officer so angry. "The Sith did this!" He shouted.

"The Sith? The Sith the Exile destroyed at Malachor V?" Tuluk demanded to know.

"No, the Sith the Exile is leading." Carth snapped with derision.

"Admiral Onasi." Master Vandar said quietly. Carth dug the heels of his palms into his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Master Vandar," Tuluk said looking at Admiral Onasi, "What is going on? Why wasn't I informed of a Sith threat?"

"It is one that has only recently been brought to our attention." One of the Republic's representatives said. "Based on what we were told", he went on, "We are in agreement that the Ebon Hawk must be allowed to leave the Sojourn before you divert course for Dantooine."

"That does not answer my question. Master Vandar, I must have more information if what Admiral Onasi said is true." Tuluk stated.

"It is true, Master Tuluk. That is why Jaden and the Ebon Hawk must leave before the Sojourn goes to Dantooine." Vandar said with resignation. Carth made eye contact with him and after a few moments Vandar nodded.

"I'm going with Jaden." Carth announced.

"What? . . . Admiral . . . Admiral Onasi . . ." erupted at both ends of the teleconference. Finally, Vandar's pleas for calm were heard and both rooms quieted down.

"Admiral Onasi, you are the Republic's best officer. Your place is on the Sojourn." One of the senior officers stated.

Carth didn't respond for a few moments then shook his head. "No. My place is with Jaden. General Lavek can handle the Sojourn." He said before looking around the table at the stunned faces. These men were his family and he felt as if he was abandoning them and perhaps he was, but what good would their lives be, if he didn't see this through? He had to go. He had to help Jaden. His decision irreversible, Carth tapped the table twice with his knuckle and began to leave.

"Admiral?" Master Vandar called to him. Carth stopped and looked at the view screen. "May the Force be with you, Admiral. And Jaden, for much rests on both of you."

Carth nodded once and left the room that was erupting in pandemonium.


	9. Chapter 8

Carth knew he was running out of time when he reached his quarters and found it empty. He didn't have the luxury to think about how that made him feel as he grabbed a bag and began throwing things in it. He put on his utility belt, slid his blasters in their holsters and clipped on his saber. When he emerged from his room, he found Kwyn waiting for him.

"Why aren't you on the bridge?" He asked as he shrugged into an old leather jacket.

"I'm headed there." Kwyn said as he followed Carth out of his quarters. "I just wanted to tell you good luck."

"The Jedi don't believe in luck." Carth said as he stopped and looked around at the ship and then at Kwyn. "Take care of her." He said.

"I will, Admiral." Kwyn handed him a communicator. "It's secure."

"I'll be in touch." Carth said moving toward the turbo lift. Before the doors shut, he looked at his friend once more. "Thanks buddy. For everything."

* * *

Carth slowed his progress into the hanger when he heard Jaden and Dustil arguing. He knew he had forgotten something and that was putting his son in the brig.

"No, Dustil. Go home to Coruscant, get married and have sons."

"Jaden . . ."

"Your destiny lies along a different path." She told him with resignation.

"And the future is always in motion." Dustil told her angrily.

"Damn it! I am not going to allow your father to forfeit his life because of my stupidity! What makes you think I would let you?" There was silence.

"What are you talking about?" He asked. Jaden didn't answer right away.

"Go home, Dustil. Go to Telos with him when he resigns his commission. Help him heal what the selfish acts of those that use the Force have taken from him." Jaden said before she pulled the young man close and hugged him. "Promise me Dustil, you'll take care of him. You two can go trolling in the cantinas for beautiful women. Help him be happy." She said softly.

"Jaden," He said pulling away from her, "What are you talking about?" Then it dawned on him and he understood. "You're not coming back, are you?"

"It's time for me to go home." She told him with a brave smile.

Carth paced the corridor as he listened to them. How did she know what he wanted to do? Resigning and moving home to Telos. While some people would be touched that someone like Jaden would risk the galaxy so they could live out a dream, it only angered Carth. He would not be the reason for her failure to restore balance to the Force. Jaden had told him it could kill him if she took back her power and he had lashed out, thinking once again that Force had messed with his life. Now, he didn't know what to think. The Force, and now Jaden? Had any of his decisions in the last eight years been his own?

"Two minutes, Carth." He heard over the comm-link. Well, he didn't have the time to puzzle it out. This, at least, was his decision.

Dustil saw his father come around the corner of the corridor.

"Father . . ."

"No, Dustil. The Jedi Council is going to need you."

"But . . ."

"Damn it, Dustil! I am not going to lose you to these butchers the way I lost your mother and Revan." He snapped.

If Carth had kicked Jaden, he couldn't have hurt her more. He grabbed her elbow and turned toward the Ebon Hawk. "Let's go. We're running out of time."

"What are you doing?" She demanded as she began to pull back.

"We're leaving." He said pulling her along.

"No!" Jaden spun away from him. "No. You can't go. I won't let you." She told him backing away, the fear for his life clearly in her eyes.

"Get on the ship, Jaden." Carth told her dangerously as she continued to back away from him shaking her head.

"No. I won't let you do this!" She yelled at him terrified.

"You don't have a choice, Jaden. It's _MY_ decision. Do you hear that? Mine!"

"Carth, don't do this!" She shouted at him. "NO!" She screamed when she found herself thrown over his shoulder, her legs pinned to his chest. Jaden began beating on his back telling him to stop.

"Father!"

"Get out of here, Dustil before Lavek opens the hanger doors."

"No!" Jaden continued to beat on his back. The shoulder strap from his bag was digging into her chest and her fists were getting bruised, but she continued to scream at him. "I won't let you do it. I won't let you die. Please, Carth, listen to me!" She begged near hysteria because of what he was doing.

He ignored her as they went up the ramp of the Ebon Hawk. He hit the controls to close the ramp, which only seemed to aggravate Jaden more. "Atton, fire up the engines" He yelled to be heard above Jaden's screaming. Carth turned down the main hallway and into the main hold, ignoring the memories that flooded him from his time here with Revan.

"Atton!" He shouted.

"Engines are coming up, Admiral."

"30 seconds to sub-light engines" Kwyn's disembodied voice told him.

Carth unceremoniously dumped Jaden in the small galley area and began to leave.

"No! Atton, no!" Jaden yelled as she scrambled to get past him and to get to the bridge. Carth pulled his blaster and pointed it at her. Jaden screeched to a halt, leaning back from the lethal looking barrel pointed at her head.

"Not this time, Jaden." He said quietly as he took one step back, closed and locked the door. "HK, if she tries to get out, shoot her." Carth told the droid who for once had no come back. They could hear Jaden pounding on the door, demanding to be let out.

"Admiral?" Visas asked. He looked at the beautiful serene woman. Whatever Carth was going to say, was interrupted when T3 began making a series of loud urgent beeps and whistles. He gave her arm a reassuring squeeze and headed for the bridge.

"Lavek, we're about to have company." Carth said sitting in the co-pilot chair.

"I see them."

Atton watched as the hanger doors began to open and the Sojourn was rocked by a blast. "You know? She's going to kill me, then restore my life, just so she can kill me again for doing this." Atton said quickly as he fired the landing boosters.

"Just go, before they turn the Sojourn into scrap metal."

"I hope to hell, you know what you're doing." Atton said before he engaged the thrusters and pushed the throttle to full.

"Shields up." Carth said as they shot from the hanger into a barrage of cannon fire.

"Ah, Sith spit, we've got fighters." Atton swore as he began maneuvering through the rain of fire. "HK, get on the turret." He yelled over his shoulder.

"Query: Admiral?" HK called back

"Go, HK . . . I had him guarding Jaden." He said by way of explanation as he adjusted switches and brought the side cannons on line.

"Like that would have done a lot of good." Atton muttered before adding, "Well I want to know how they know our every move." He made several adjustments. Carth shot him a look and then looked away.

"I think it's me."

"What?"

"I have no barriers. You, Visas, Jaden, hell, even Tuluk have barriers. I'm an open book." Carth said.

"Yeah, well, if we get out of this alive, remind me to teach you to play Pazaak."

Carth didn't understand and at the moment, it didn't matter. "Lavek, we're clear."

"Understood. Good luck, Admiral."

"Contact me when you know about Bastila."

"Will do."

"Bastila?" Atton asked.

"She was on Dantooine." Carth said quietly.

"Bloody bastards." Atton mumbled.

It took several more minutes before HK announced it was clear and Atton took advantage of the lull and made the jump into hyperspace.

"Well, that was fun. Not as much fun as you're going to have opening that door, but fun none the less. So, where to?" Atton asked as he sat back and looked at Carth.

"We'll try Dxun. I know Vaklu cleared the place out but there still may be a few Mandalorians around. We're going to need help." Carth said unbuckling his restraints and getting up. He reached into his pants pocket and tossed the disk he withdrew to Atton. "You can study that on the way."

"What is it?"

"The complete plans to the prison where Canderous is being held." Carth told him. Atton nodded his approval.

Carth, not wanting to face Jaden, stopped by the communications center to check in with T3. The little droid gave him short answers; the equivalent of a cold shoulder, but Carth ignored it until he ran out of questions. He assured T3 that everything was going to be fine, but he doubted the droid believed him.

It was harder to deal with HK. The droid evoked so many memories of Revan, that it was hard for Carth to deal with the droid, but he had questions and, while killing time, he wanted to know the answers. That, and if he didn't stay occupied, the thoughts of Revan and what they had done together on this ship, would overwhelm him. The teasing, the fights, and the nights they spent in each other's arms. The betrayal.

"HK, why did you return with Jaden?" Carth asked as he ruthlessly pushed aside his feelings.

"Answer: Admiral, I'm not sure 'return' is the correct term. You see, I was all ready on the Ebon Hawk when the Master . . . appropriated the ship."

"When she escaped the Sith home world."

"Clarification: Again, Admiral, I'm not sure 'escaped' is the correct term. You see, Revan and the Exile thought, incorrectly of course, that the Master would lead them to their ultimate goal, the Master's home world. I was to report back to the Exile through a tracking device."

"Which Jaden found and deactivated."

"Correction: No, Admiral. I told her about it and how to disable it."

"That's not very assassin like, HK." Carth retorted, puzzled by the droids response.

"Pleased Statement: If I may say so, there are very few meatbags that I like, Admiral. The Master is one and you are another. Your inherent suspicion of the people around you warms my heart. No fool you. That is why, when I learned of Revan's plan to use you, then eliminate you, that I decided this would be one mission that I could not complete."

"Wait a minute . . ."

"Resigned Statement: Oh I know, Admiral, it turns my motivators as well, to admit that I failed to follow my programming."

" . . . You were going to assassinate me?" Carth asked trying to keep the shock from his voice, but it squeaked through anyway.

"Proud Statement: Yes, Admiral, as soon as my former master, Revan, was done using you to locate the Master's home world."

"But you didn't do it because you . . . like me?" He asked utterly amazed. He leaned against the workbench in the small maintenance hangar. "What if I had refused to help Revan?"

"Confident Statement: She was quite certain she could . . ." HK replicated Revan's speech perfectly for the next part "wrapped around my finger. Don't worry darling, Admiral Onasi won't know what he's done until HK puts a blaster shot through his head."

Perhaps a part of him didn't want to believe what Jaden's memory had revealed, but there was no denying it now.

"Revan wasn't stupid, HK." _No, _he thought, _he was_. "What was her back up plan?"

"Hesitant Answer: I was to capture your son, the young meatbag Dustil. Would you like to know what she thought of him?"

"No, that's not necessary. I'm beginning to get the picture." Carth told the droid quietly. How was he ever going to deal with this? Everything he believed about Revan and the time they shared was slowly being destroyed. Had anything she told him been true? When Revan said she loved him, was it a lie? When she told him she thought of Dustil as her own son, was that a lie as well? The plans they had made for a life together, all of it was in question and Carth wasn't sure he would be able to handle it. The pain he felt in his heart and soul spiked and he fought hard to harden himself against it.

"Obliging Statement: Admiral, if it helps to know, the Master has reprogrammed me so that I may only defend you and your son. I am not allowed to harm either of you in any way. She also forbids me to call you meatbag."

Carth said nothing, only moved away and found Visas, sitting on the floor in one of the back cabins. She was meditating and he started to leave.

"Do not be to harsh with her, Admiral. Jaden has only done what she felt was right."

"She didn't give me the choice, Visas." He said quietly.

"And Jaden was not given all the facts of what restoring your life would mean. She sought to right an injustice done to you. Time was running short or she would not have been able to pull you back from the Force. As it was, she needed to give of herself for a full restoration. When she asked what would happen when she needed to retrieve her power, if it would harm you, Jaden was only given silence." Carth didn't say anything so Visas went on.

"It is not easy to ask someone you have helped to willingly sacrifice the gift of their life. While Jaden may not know the results of retrieving her power, she does know, that if she fails to defeat the Exile at least the Force, the light side of the Force would continue. I believe everything she has done, is to make sure that happens."

"Like reprogramming HK to be my protector?" He asked.

"Yes. Admiral, if you were to have more children, they would be very strong in the Force."

"Insuring that the light side would live to fight another day." Carth snapped sarcastically and sighed.

"That is her belief, yes."

"There's just one problem with that idea, Visas."

"I agree. Jaden never counted on her feelings for you being so strong."

"I'm not planning on having any more children." He said ignoring her comment about Jaden's feelings for him. _And the surprises just keep coming, _he thought.

"Admiral . . ." He held up his hand and shook his head.

"No more, Visas. I've had all I can take for one day," He said, leaving her watching him closely.

Carth wanted to sleep. Those few hours earlier, while pleasant, weren't nearly enough to keep him going. He doubted highly Jaden would even let him through the door, let alone hold her, so he decided to find another bunk but his search for a pillow was interrupted when he heard Jaden's voice coming from the bridge.

"Atton, when I give you an order, I expect you to follow it." She said angrily.

"Jaden, I'm here because I lost a bet. Nothing in our wager said I had to stand by while you threw a hissy fit, and get myself or anyone else killed!"

"I need to know that you will do as I say, when I say it." Jaden snapped

"Don't worry Jaden, I'll hold up my end of the bargain." Atton told her.

"Damn it Atton, if I can't count on you to follow my direction, then . . ."

"That's enough." Carth said from the doorway. Jaden stiffened, shot him a scathing look, then stormed passed him, forcing him to step back or be run over.

"Well, this is going to be a fun trip." Atton commented as Carth stumbled into the co-pilots chair.

"A bet?" He asked as he stretched out his legs, slid down in the seat and laid his head back.

"I didn't believe her when she said the Sith were after her. And, no, she had a hood on so I didn't know it was her." He said rather childishly when Carth chuckled. "Trust me, if I had known it was her . . ."

"You would still be here and you know it." Carth told him.

"Yeah? Well, what's your excuse?"

"I'm beginning to think I'm a masochist . . . and wishing I was still under a pile of rubble." He said closing his eyes.

"Carth . . ."

"Atton, please, no more deep, mumbo-jumbo-Jedi-speak philosophy." He said holding up his hand to stop whatever Atton was going to say. "I've had enough." He added with a sigh.

"Okay." Atton said nodding his head, "An incredibly sexy and hot chick, which thinks you got the wrong end of a raw deal, restores your life. You want her to ask if that's okay?"

Carth's lips twitched. "That's not the reason, Atton, and you know it."

"No, poster boy, I don't. Our incredibly sexy and hot chick has tried to do whatever she can with what she has to solve this situation."

"Atton . . ."

"I'm not done." He snapped. "For whatever reason, our incredibly hot chick . . ."

"You forgot sexy." Carth cut in.

"Sexy hot chick, seems to have an affinity for a poster boy do-gooder, you. Didn't you do everything you could to keep your wife safe?"

"Obviously I didn't do a good job." He said sarcastically turning his head and glaring at Atton.

"You're missing the point, Carth. You did everything you could and even though you did your best, some bastard came along and screwed it up."

"I'm the bastard screwing up her plans?" He asked.

"Something like that." Atton answered with a shrug.

"So the poster boy do-gooder should have stayed away? Let the galaxy be plunged into darkness?" Carth asked.

"I never said the sexy and incredibly hot chick's idea was a good one." Atton drawled. Carth chuckled and sighed.

"Atton, none of this makes sense."

"By the Force, man! There's no accounting for taste, but she's in love with you!" Atton practically shouted at him, "Accept it. Go apologize for being an ass and get yourself some hot Kuaquian monkey . . ."

"Stop!" Carth snapped holding up his hand. After a moment he added, "You just like saying that, don't you?"

"What?" Atton asked with an innocent look on his face.

"No one is more astonished than I am about Jaden's feelings for me, okay. We barely know each other, but that doesn't change the fact that none of this makes sense."

"Then what would?"

"Let's go back."

"Back?" Atton asked.

"Yeah, back to Malachor V. No, farther. Revan leaves to go find some threat she thinks is going, key word that, going to strike through the Force. Four years later, the Jedi Council, or what's left of it, meet on Kataar and we know how that ended. A little while later, the Exile shows up. He's the only one who came back to face judgment after the Mandalorian War; cut off from the Force." Carth said and Atton picked it up from there.

"He's angry, thinks the Council are the ones who cut him off from the Force, so he drags us all over the galaxy to find the remaining council members so he can destroy them."

"Which," Carth said, "He does and then he goes to Malachor V, destroys Darth Traya and leaves. Leaving the rest of you to die there."

"Jaden finds us and contacts the Republic and you guys show up and rescue us." Atton said. Then he noticed the surprised look on Carth's face. "Oh, crap. You didn't know that, did you?"

"That explains why we never found the ship that sent the message that the Ebon Hawk had crashed. How did she know?"

"Jaden told me she felt a disturbance in the Force." Atton told him. Carth nodded, mentally adding one more to the list of her omissions.

"Okay. So, Revan's gone and now the Exile is gone and Jaden makes her first appearance, so to speak. The Sith are further marginalized and no one hears from Revan, the Exile or Jaden for a couple of years."

"Where are you going with this?" Atton asked.

"I don't know yet. Hopefully something that makes sense." Carth answered with a frown.

"Okay. We go forward a couple of years to your sons graduation and the Sith attack when Revan shows up and Jaden restores your life." Atton prompted.

"But there was no attack. Jaden admitted as much and when I . . . relived her memory, there was no cannon fire."

"Admiral, I was there. I saw it." Atton told him.

"Did you? Are you certain?" Carth asked.

"I . . ."

"Can't be sure. Jedi mind trick, dominate mind, there are ways to make someone think they see something that's not there."

"But Jedi's are trained to be immune to such tricks. It would be a short battle if we were told to put down our weapons." Atton said sarcastically.

"Within the limit of your Force abilities though. What if someone, stronger in the Force than you have encountered, did a mind trick?"

"Onasi, what are you saying? That Jaden 'made-up' the Sith attack? That she was the one destroying the buildings?"

"No one died, Atton. There were no serious injuries outside of Dustil."

"And you." Atton snorted.

"Yes. But I think she was adding to the attack to make it look like we were being bombed." Carth said not wanting to believe that was true.

"Why?" The question was quick as Atton narrowed his eyes.

"To cover what Revan was doing. When I saw Revan, I called out to her and that distracted her, causing the building to come down on me and Dustil."

"So you're saying that Revan was destroying the buildings and Jaden was providing the effects?"

"Look, I know it sounds insane, Atton . . ."

"You're implying that Jaden was working with Revan." Atton said softly. Carth recognized the barely veiled menace in his tone and ignored it, as he thought about it.

"No." He said quietly. "Not with her, but I'm not sure against her either."

"Explain." Atton demanded.

"Damn it, Atton, I'm not sure I can. Why the attack? Revan could have walked up to me and said 'Hi honey I'm home' and she would have had me." Carth said with disgust, knowing it was true.

"Ooh, ouch. You're not that stupid, Onasi. After you sated your hormones for a few days, you would have started to ask questions. But, if Revan created a sense of urgency - 'Oh Carth, the Sith have returned!'" Atton said in a dramatic girly voice, "You wouldn't have had time to ask questions until you were will into the search."

Carth didn't say anything for a few moments then quietly thanked Atton for his words.

"I've been kicked in the teeth before, I know what it can do to you. Like I said, you're not that stupid and I'm beginning to think you might be on to something." Atton said. Carth looked at him somewhat surprised. "Why was Jaden there?"

"Actually Atton, I think the first question should be; how did Jaden get there?"

"What do you mean?"

"Revan took the droids and the Ebon Hawk when she left. The ship, with T3, shows up at Peragus with the Exile but no HK. Chaos ensues ending on Malachor V and the Exile, with the droids takes off, and, this is an assumption, for the Sith home world." Carth said puzzling it out in his head. He had never given much thought to any of this, at least not to this degree. Carth had read all the reports and knew all the facts. Now it was time to put the thought behind the actions.

"Go on." Atton encouraged when he paused.

"HK told me a few minutes ago that Jaden got the Ebon Hawk and the droids when she, appropriated the ship. HK said it wasn't really an escape since he had been fitted with a tracking device."

"Why would he tell you that, knowing we would disable it?" Atton asked.

"That thought has occurred to me, but HK said he was the one to tell Jaden about the device and how to render it inoperative."

"Huh?"

"Apparently," Carth said proudly, "I'm one of the few meatbags HK likes. That's why he told Jaden about the device. HK just couldn't follow this particular assassination program."

"HK is the weirdest droid." Atton muttered. Carth showed his agreement by clearing his throat and nodding.

"Knowing Revan, I asked him about the back-up plan in case I had refused to help. HK said he was to kidnap Dustil."

"To force you to help her." Atton said.

"Or, she would offer to help me find him." Carth said, his disgust with himself resurfacing. "Anyway, Jaden has, according to HK, reprogrammed HK to protect me and Dustil."

Atton thought about that for a few minutes. "Admiral?"

"Why isn't HK with Dustil? Good question."

"Now wait a minute, he is on the most powerful battle cruiser in the Republic and he hangs out with the Jedi Council."

"But he's not doing that all the time." Carth said quietly.

"Nar Shadda." Atton said stiing up "They were after him, not Jaden." Atton looked at Carth and noticed his darkening expression. "Carth, Jaden was genuinely surprised to find him there."

"And I didn't know he had taken off until Kwyn told me what had happened."

"Nar Shadda, dropping out of hyperspace . . . you think they're tracking Dustil. But how?"

Carth said nothing as he stared at the passing stars of the hyperspace route.

"You're not thinking that . . ."

"I don't want to, Atton." He said quietly, "I've seen them together. She looks out for him almost as much as his mother did and he's half in love with her."

"I know she tore into him once we were off Nar Shadda." Atton told him. Carth's mouth quirked.

"He told me the same thing." He took out his communicator. "I need to let Kwyn know. I'd feel better knowing. Damn it, Atton!" He swore as a feeling of dread crept up his spine. Could this really get any worse?

"Have him checked. But that doesn't mean it was Jaden."

"I know that. But the best time for someone to put a tracer on him was when he was in the med center." He said. Atton raised a brow at that comment. Carth added, "I just had a physical."

"Well, if you had one at this moment, you would fail. You look like hell and you're exhausted. We can pick this up later." Atton told him. Carth nodded but didn't get up to leave until he contacted Kwyn and related his suspicions. Kwyn was stunned, to say the least, but he would have Dustil check for an anomalies.

"I'll check the droids and the ship, just to be on the safe side." Atton said.

"Did Jaden ever tell you how she learned of Revan and the Exile's plan?" Carth asked as he crawled out of the chair.

"Nope. You?" Atton responded. Carth shook his head. "I can check with Visas." Atton added.

"Yeah. Slow us down. I don't want to arrive at Dxun until we have some answers."

"Aye aye, Admiral." Atton said with a jaunty salute.

"Smart ass." Carth mumbled as he left the bridge. He found an empty bunk and was asleep before his head hit the pillow.


	10. Chapter 9

a/n: This chapter is shorter than the others because the next one, a vital part to the story, is going to be long by necessity. I thought about it and decided there was no good way to break it up. In the words of Jaden, "You have your truth, Admiral. Do with it what you will."

* * *

Jaden paced the cabin alternating between anger and desperation. When Carth had picked her up and carried her on board, panic had taken over. She didn't want him to jeopardize his life. Jaden wanted him to have peace. She knew the cost. To her and to the galaxy, but if Carth lived there was hope for the future. If he died and she was unable to fully defeat the Exile, then the consequences . . . well, the light side could be lost for centuries.

On the other hand, she was so angry with him for sweeping in and taking over, she could just spit. And Atton, listening to Carth over her. Jaden knew the stakes by staying, but it wouldn't have taken her long to get him off the Ebon Hawk. _Oh, who was she kidding_, Jaden thought, as she plopped down on the bunk, _Carth knew exactly what he was doing, timing their departure down to the last seconds_. Nothing was going as she had planned or wanted.

Why did he have to be such a . . . _Admiral,_ chastising her the way he had. Jaden made a face as she mimicked Carth's 'that's enough'. And she let him! Why hadn't she ripped into him for acting like this was his big mission, and not hers? Jaden was the one who would ultimately return to the Force, not him. Well, she wasn't entirely sure about him, but she knew what she had to do.

"Damn it. Damn you, Onasi.", she whispered into the dim light of the cabin realizing she had to pull back. She had to bury her feelings if she was going to survive being in his company for very long. Jaden would have to stiffen her spine so he couldn't walk all over her, and she needed to find a way to ditch him before she faced the Exile.

When Jaden felt the tension drain from her body, she knew Carth was asleep. She could feel what his mood was, when he was tense, relaxed, or exhausted, as he was now. She couldn't touch his thoughts, a hallmark of a bond, but they shared feelings and emotions, something she never told him and Jaden wasn't sure how he would react if he knew. While his anger drained her . . . if they were to . . . no, she stopped her thoughts. She was mad at him, she shouldn't be thinking this way. With the tension gone from her body and mind, Jaden fell asleep with ease.

* * *

"Beep, Beep?" T3 nudged Atton who had fallen asleep in the captain's chair.

"Huh? What?" He mumbled as he slowly came awake.

"Beep."

"Statement: T3 said the ship is clean." HK translated coming up behind the little droid.

"Okay. Did you check each other?" Atton asked as he sat up and rubbed his eyes.

"Reaffirmation: I have all ready told the Admiral . . ."

"Just check, okay?" He snapped around a yawn.

"Beep, Beep, Boop."

"Resignation: Oh, very well. I fail to see, however, what good this will do."

"I don't know, HK, keep us alive maybe?" Atton said rolling his eyes in disbelief.

"Statement: Until the Master confronts the Exile, he will continue to hunt us." HK said.

"Well, if we can stay more than one step ahead of him, I'm all for it." Atton responded.

"Statement: But that's the thing, meatbag Jedi. You cannot stay more than one step ahead of the Exile."

Atton frowned. "And why is that?" He wasn't sure he was going to like the answer.

"They are finally asleep." Visas said as she came onto the bridge. "What's going on in here?"

"HK was just about to tell me why we would never be more than one step ahead of the Exile." Atton told her.

"What do you mean?" She asked as she sat down across from him.

"Carth has some questions about this whole situation and I'm beginning to think he's right. He's contacted General Lavek to have Dustil checked for a tracer because of the Sith showing up on Nar Shadda and then when we came out of hyperspace, is just too big a coincidence for him. He's thinking the Sith were after Dustil to force the Admiral into finding the Valley of the Jedi."

"Jaden was at both places. The Sith also showed up when she tracked down Carth not to long ago." Visas said.

"He's going to have to deal with her about that. HK told Carth that Jaden had reprogrammed HK to protect him and Dustil."

"Affirmation: That is true." HK said.

"Then why didn't she leave you behind to protect them?" Why aren't you protecting Dustil right now?" Atton asked.

"Puzzled Answer: I don't know. Perhaps there was no time since the Admiral threw my Master over his shoulder like a sack of Pomasis."

"So the Admiral is thinking that Dustil is in danger?" Visas asked. Atton nodded and told her about the back-up plan to kidnap Dustil and force Carth into finding the Valley of the Jedi. "Even though Revan is dead, he feels the back-up plan is still in place." He added.

"What does that have to do with Jaden?" She asked.

"If someone put a tracer on Dustil, the best place to have done that was when he was in the medical center. Jaden spent a great deal of time with the kid." Atton said unsure how that information would go over. He knew Visas and Jaden were close.

"The Admiral thinks . . ."

"He doesn't want to, Visas, but he needs to know. It's his son, and before you ask, he's had a recent physical and nothing showed up."

"HK, do you know if Jaden has a tracer?" Visas asked.

"Statement: I do not know what went on when the Master was in the company of my previous masters."

"Frack." Atton muttered as he slid down in the chair. Visas frowned at him.

"HK, please explain what you mean?" She asked watching Atton shake his head in a this-is-not-good sort of way.

"Recitation: The first time . . ."

"The first time?" Atton asked spinning his head toward HK aghast.

"Continued Recitation: As I was saying, the first time the Master came to the Sith home world, the Exile, and Revan, noticed how strong she was with the Force. I believe their intent was to train her to be a Sith."

"You know, Carth asked me if I knew how Jaden had learned of their plan. Was it then, HK?" Atton asked scratching his nose.

"Answer: No, I don't believe it was until she returned the second time. That was the time she left on the Ebon Hawk. I was not privy to the conversations she had with Revan and the Exile, but I believe T3 was."

"Dwoo."

"I have a bad feeling about this." Atton stated with resignation.

"Beep, beep dwoo."

"Statement: He said he knows, but only the Master can access the data." HK said.

"Great." Atton said shaking his head.

* * *

Carth felt like hell when he opened his eyes. His body ached from the beating Atton had given him and then all the hits he took during their 'rematch'. His head felt like it was ready to split open. He wanted to shower, eat, and crawl back into the bunk for a while longer. He needed a blocker for the pain, but that meant he would have to move and he wasn't ready to do that yet. He wasn't ready to think either, but his mind was ignoring that wish as well.

Why couldn't this easy? Despite the deception and machinations by the Jedi Council, traveling with Bastila and Revan had been straightforward; find the Star Forge and Malak and destroy both. Carth had never gotten near the Exile when he had returned. His only involvement in that fiasco was trying to keep track of the Ebon Hawk, and picking up Atton and the others on Malachor V . . . after Jaden had anonymously tipped off the Republic that they were there. Carth laid his arm over his eyes and huffed out a breath.

Jaden. She fired his blood and made his head pound, as it was now. There wasn't a single thing about her that was simple. She wasn't strong enough to face the Exile because she had given him part of her power to restore his life, so she wouldn't appear so strong in the Force and would be able to hide from the Exile. But, she would have to face the Exile in order to bring balance back to the Force. Carth wasn't sure what that would entail and he didn't want to face the reality that it probably meant her death. But now, she refused to take her power back based on some kooky idea that he dreamed of retiring to Telos. Yes, he was ready to resign his commission but that didn't mean he was going to pack it up and move back home. It had been a fanciful idea, not something to jeopardize the galaxy for.

When the cabin door slid open, Carth turned to head to see Jaden standing there like a fiery goddess. Her legs were apart, her hands on her hips and anger rippled from her.

"Why haven't we arrived at Onderon?" She demanded. _She was simply magnificent_ was all Carth could think.

"We aren't going to Onderon. We're going to Dxun." He said turning on his side to watch her.

"Dxun."

"Uh-huh." He said baiting her.

"Vaklu cleared out Dxun after he put Canderous in prison." She stated, her agitation obvious.

"Can't clear out what you can't see." He drawled slowly. At that moment, his communicator went off. He thought about ignoring it, but it could be news from Kwyn regarding Dustil. Carth dug the small beeping device from his pocket as he watched Jaden carefully. "Onasi."

"Admiral. You were right, Carth." Kwyn sighed, "They almost missed it, it was so small, but Dustil did have a tracer. I, ah, asked the doctor to rerun your tests like you asked."

"Thanks, Kwyn." He said quietly and disconnected. Jaden hadn't moved or batted an eyelash. Carth slowly left the bunk and walked over to her, "Care to explain why my son has a tracer?" He asked in a dangerously soft tone. Jaden just stared at him.

"Maybe you should look at your own precious Republic before you go making accusations." She snapped and started to leave, but found her arm in a vise-like grip that actually hurt and she winced.

"Answer me!" Carth barked.

"You're hurting me." Jaden said trying to wrench her arm free as the pain of his anger spiked through her.

"There's not a big enough distraction that would keep me from killing you." He told her between clenched teeth and Jaden got the message he was angry enough that nothing that would stop him from draining her life.

"I don't know." She whispered. Carth shoved her hard enough that Jaden stumbled away from him, falling into one of the panels. Atton chose that moment to come around the corner.

"What's going on?" Atton asked cautiously.

"They found the tracer."

"Jaden?" Atton asked surprised as he looked at her. Carth didn't wait around to hear what she said. He felt abused and ill. The bile flowing through him made Carth think of acid eating away at his very foundation.

"I didn't do it, Atton." Jaden said quietly when Carth was gone. Atton just looked at her for a moment then walked away. "It wasn't me." She whispered as she slid to the floor.

A tracer? Dustil had a tracer? Why was this happening? Jaden never did anything to Dustil but heal him. How could Carth think she could ever do something like that? Jaden adored Dustil. She would give her life for his.

The voice increased in her mind and Jaden buried her head in her hands and began dragging in gulping breaths. She felt out of control, couldn't find her own center, her balance, and it felt like someone was clawing at her skin. After a few moments, the sensation went away. Jaden felt drained and realized she was slowly destroying his soul. _I'm sorry,_ she told the voice.

Carth stood in the shower and let the hot water beat at him. Could his stupidity get any worse? First Revan uses him and now Jaden was playing him for a fool. He thought he had enough life experience and wisdom not to let himself be hurt again, but apparently not. He didn't try to stop the rending of his soul. He deserved the pain as it tore at his body. Leaned against the wall he closed his eyes and thought, _my only crime, _was_ I wanted to believe._

The water had turned to ice when Carth felt in control enough to face the others, but he was wrong. Jaden was sitting on the bunk, drained and exhausted. She looked up as he came into the room with only his pants on.

"Go away, Jaden." He said tiredly ignoring the lost look on her face and the emotional torment in her eyes.

"I didn't do it, Carth. I did not put a tracer on Dustil." She told him quietly. Carth didn't say anything as he grabbed a shirt from his bag and put it on. He spared her one quick look before he left the room. Jaden went after him, calling his name, but he ignored her and she found the door to the bridge closed in her face.

* * *

"Are you okay?" Atton asked after several minutes of silence. Carth stood behind the co-pilots chair staring out the window.

"I'll help you find the Mandalorians, if there are any on Dxun, and you have the plans to the prison. Once you have Canderous out you should, if you can, lay low for a while until the initial furor dies down. You can drop me off away from the city and I'll find my way there. The Republic will probably send the Sojourn for back-up and Kwyn can pick me up."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that. Everyone gets what they want." Carth told him.

"Including the Exile." Atton added.

"Him especially and I don't really fracking care." Carth snapped, his anger a palpable thing. Atton winced at the hostility in Carth's voice.

"So, you don't care that the ship's clean?" Atton asked cautiously.

"Nope."

"And the droids?"

"Nope."

"Myself and Visas?"

"Glad to hear it, but no."

"What about Jaden?"

"No." But Carth's answer followed a slight hesitation.

"So, T3 having information on this whole sorry mess means nothing?" Atton asked hopeful.

"No. What?" Carth asked finally looking at Atton.

"HK said T3 had the data on the plan the Exile and Revan hatched. That's how HK found out. T3 told him what was going on."

"The message." Carth whispered.

"What message?" Atton asked. When Carth didn't answer, he repeated the question.

"After the Sojourn encountered Jaden and the Sith, I had the droids taken to maintenance. One of the techs found a voice printed message. I asked HK, but he said it was a moot point since we had all survived. They had to stop working on T3 because if they tried getting around it, it would have erased his memory."

"HK did say only Jaden could access the data." Atton told him. Carth didn't want to get sucked back into this abysmal situation. His curiosity, however, was getting the better of him, and for some sick and twisted reason, he felt he needed to punish himself further in order to learn the truth. Carth sighed.

"For what it's worth," Atton began, "I believe her when she says she didn't put the tracer on Dustil."

Carth didn't respond to that, but asked about what other information Atton had learned from the droid. Atton didn't press the issue and related what he and Visas had learned last night.

"I don't know Atton, why voiceprint the data? Think about it. If something were to happen to her what would be the most likely course of action to take?" Carth asked.

"If T3 has the data then I would give him directions to go to the Council or the Republic, if that was the case. Oh, and I sure as he'll wouldn't voiceprint the data. No one else could get it. Guess that means the message is something else." Atton answered.

Carth shook his head, "Doubtful. It's probably for me." He said as if someone had asked him to do 'just one more thing'.

Atton chuckled and grinned. "Carth, it's Jaden. If you're hearing this I'm dead and guess what you get to do!" It was a poor thing to say, but it did make Carth smile. "Sorry." Atton added but Carth shook his head.

"If I can't find some humor in this, I'll go mad."

"So what do you want to do? Even at full speed in the hyperspace route it'll be hours before we get to Dxun."

"Hours? What did you do, stop?" Carth asked incredulously. _No wonder Jaden was so hot this morning._

"No," Atton whined childishly, "You said slow down, so I did."

"Let's see if we can get some answers." Carth said as he left the bridge.


	11. Chapter 10

Atton wasn't entirely convinced that asking Jaden for the truth was the smart thing to do. Sure, everything Carth said made sense and yes, there were questions that came to mind, but this wasn't just a simple interrogation of a prisoner. This was questioning the Force, or at least as close as someone would get it to it. _In a way, _he thought, _it was like asking the wind why it blew._ If Jaden gave them vague answers, Atton was afraid Carth would become furious and that would not be a good thing.

"Carth wants to talk to us. All of us." He said sparing a glance for Jaden as he entered her quarters.

"What about?" She asked.

"I imagine everything that's been going on. Oh, and you're going to get your wish. He'll help us find any Mandalorians, if there are any on Dxun, but that's it. He wants me to drop him off outside the city. He'll wait for the Sojourn to pick him up." Atton said and left.

Jaden felt a curious sense of emptiness come over her. This is what she wanted, Carth away from her and the danger she could pose to him, so why did she feel abandoned? Jaden knew she would need time to convince Carth that she wasn't the one to put the tracer on Dustil and she didn't want him to leave thinking the worst of her. Visas gave her back a quick rub and left Jaden alone for a few minutes.

"Is she coming?" Carth asked.

"Give her a few minutes. She's very upset." Visas said. He refrained from scoffing at that and adding, "I'll bet". "What is this about?" Visas went on to ask.

"Answers." Carth told her as he began to pace. After a few minutes, he yelled for Jaden to get there.

"Admiral." Visas told him quietly.

* * *

~~_ Be calm, child. _~~

_~~ Masters . . . _~~

~~ Y_ou know it is his nature. Mistrust is a part of who he is._ ~~

~~ _It didn't use to be. At least it wasn't until we allowed Saul Karath to destroy Telos. _~~

There was no response so she took a deep breath before she left her quarters. Hiding wasn't going to help.

"I see the judge, jury, and executioner are here." She commented as she mentally added steel to her spine.

"Then have a seat and let's get the trial started." Carth retorted as he indicated to the chair by one of the computer consoles. Jaden ignored him and leaned against the doorjamb. Carth only shrugged. He was trying to keep his emotions out of it, but he wasn't having much luck. Perhaps approaching it from a military standpoint would be best.

"Let's start with the immediate issue of Dustil's tracer. HK said he was reprogrammed to protect myself and Dustil." Carth paused to give Jaden a chance to respond. She narrowed her eyes at HK but nodded. "HK also told me what the back-up plan was in case I refused to help Revan, or perhaps asked too many questions. HK was to kidnap Dustil."

Jaden only nodded. She couldn't speak because her stomach was in her throat. She knew exactly where he was going with this line of questioning and Jaden wasn't sure she could defend against it.

"Just because Revan is dead, doesn't mean the back-up plan went away. It probably makes it more urgent. So, I asked myself, why isn't HK protecting Dustil? Atton suggested that since Dustil's been on the Sojourn and works with the Jedi Council, that HK wouldn't be needed." Carth said pausing again but Jaden didn't respond. "But, he doesn't do that all the time. Especially when he goes off half-cocked on some hare-brained quest."

Visas looked around the tense and silent room. It was damning testimony and she understood where the Admiral was coming from and perhaps why Jaden continued to be silent. "Is your thought that the Sith traced Dustil to Nar Shaddaa?" Visas asked.

"They didn't attack the Ebon Hawk." Atton said quietly.

"There were other Republic ships at Nar Shaddaa," Carth told the group, "But they only went after Dustil's shuttle." He added then looked at Jaden and waited until she looked at him. "There was only one way to find Dustil and that would have been with a tracer." He said quietly. Jaden didn't break the eye contact.

"And even though it was months ago, we determined the most likely time to fit him with a tracer was when he was in the medical center." Atton said into the tension.

Jaden still held her silence. What could she say? Everything Carth said made it look like she had done this, and she wasn't sure anything she said at this point would be believed.

"Wasn't Dustil treated by many people? That doesn't mean . . ." Carth held up his hand to stop Visas.

"I asked Kwyn to check everyone that even thought about maybe walking by Dustil's room." He said still watching Jaden. She tried, but she wasn't able to stop all of her reaction. He was giving her the benefit of a doubt no matter how slim.

Carth saw her eyes widen briefly and he hoped, really hoped, that she would tell him the truth. He didn't know what he would do if she admitted to it, he just wanted an answer.

~~ _Tell him, child._ ~~

"I never saw Dustil until you were moved out of critical care. That was 14 days after you were . . . injured." She said and watched the surprise on his face. _14 days after I recognized your voice, _she thought. _The voice that haunted me for years; the voice that I still hear whisper through me._ "I stayed by your side from the moment you came out of surgery until you came out of the drug induced coma and called Revan's name." Jaden added softly. She wanted to walk away but she knew she couldn't. It was clear to Jaden that Carth had no idea that she had spent that amount of time with him. She didn't add that she had held his hand most of the time talking to him about nothing. When Carth awakened and called Revan's name, Jaden had notified the med droid and quietly left his room.

He saw the ripple of pain pass through Jaden's eyes before she masked her emotions. His mind started to turn with several questions but he pushed them aside. That would need to be another conversation at a later time. He needed to focus on the issue at hand.

"Okay. However, Dustil wasn't released for another week." Carth told her, and watched as she stiffened. "Damn it, Jaden, he's my son. He's all I have left." He said feeling like a heel, but he had no choice.

Jaden gave him a hateful look but said, "I didn't put a tracer on Dustil. I don't need to." She told him. It took a moment, but Carth caught on to what she was telling him.

"You told me you only stabilized him." He growled remembering their conversation aboard the Sojourn.

"And that's all I did!" She snapped. Carth plowed his fingers through his hair as he turned away from her.

"Jaden, what are you saying? Did you bond with Dustil?" Visas asked.

"No, I didn't. But there are benefits, or drawbacks," She answered looking at Carth's back, "to having this much power." Jaden closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "At this moment, Dustil is arguing with Kwyn; trying to convince him that he and his father are insane if they think I could do such a thing." Jaden slowly opened her eyes to find Carth staring at her. Visas took a step back, her hand to her mouth, and sat down in the chair Jaden had refused.

"Visas, are you okay?" Atton asked as he went to her.

"You are sight conscious? I thought my people . . ."

"What does that mean?" Carth interrupted her with his demand.

"It means I can . . . see people . . . things through the Force." She told him.

"And apparently conversations," Atton added. Jaden shook her head.

"I made that part up. He is with General Lavek though." Jaden said.

"How?" Carth asked.

"The how doesn't matter. The point is, I didn't need to put a tracer on Dustil."

"Fine. Then why was his arrival on Nar Shaddaa a surprise to you?"

"That power is not always active . . ." Visas began to explain.

"Visas, please, let Jaden explain." Carth said.

"She just did. It's not always active." Jaden told him. _At least not since, I gave you half my Force energy _she added silently.

"But I must meditate, you just . . . did it." Visas said amazement clear in her voice.

"It's not important." Jaden said shaking her head. They needed to get off this subject. She had already reveled too much as it was.

"So, you could, like, find the Exile?" Atton asked hesitantly. Jaden shook her head. _Yes,_ she thought, _way too much revealed._

"Why not?" Carth asked with resignation. It seemed that every time she said something, more questions arose in his mind.

"He is blocked." She told him hoping that would be enough. It was a futile hope, but hope nonetheless.

Carth pinched the bridge of his nose, "Why is he blocked?" He asked.

"I don't know. I have tried, but I cannot find him." She told the half-lie. If she had all her power and was at the Valley of the Jedi, it would be no problem, but she didn't have all her power, nor was she home. "It's also limited to those I have had contact with." Jaden added.

"Granted it's a powerful ability," Carth said, "But it doesn't do much to protect my son when you're light years apart. You said you knew what the back-up plan was, you reprogrammed HK to protect Dustil, but here HK is. Why isn't the droid protecting my son?" He asked feeling as if he was lost in a fog.

Jaden say anything for a few moments, then quietly told him, "I messed up. I wasn't thinking." _You were supposed to stay behind, _she thought; _HK wasn't needed as long as Dustil had you to protect him._

"What?" Carth asked shaking his head. _Forget the fog_, he thought, _think black hole_.

"When I reprogrammed HK to protect you it was only if something happened to me." She told him and watched him begin to pace around the room. Atton and Visas exchanged glances.

"The message." Atton said. Jaden took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Yes. T3 is carrying a message for Carth. If anything were to happen to me, T3 and HK had instructions to find you." She told them, turning to Carth.

"But the message is voice printed, Jaden." Atton said.

"For now, yes, it is. I voice printed it to prevent anyone else from getting to it in case someone got a hold of T3."

"The booby trap." Atton mentioned. "Didn't you tell me, Onasi, that the techs had to stop working on T3 because if they went further it would have wiped his memory?"

"Beep beep."

"Affirmative Statement: That is correct." HK translated.

"Beep."

"Recitation: If something were to happen to the Master, then, when we found the Admiral, T3 would be allowed to play the message."

"I'm sorry, Admiral. I have no legitimate excuse for not having HK there to protect Dustil. You are correct and you have every right to be angry with me." Jaden told the still wandering Carth. "HK can, no should, return to the Sojourn with you." She added.

Carth shot Atton a look but didn't say anything. The blocker he had taken earlier was beginning to wear off and his head was pounding. He was relieved to know that Jaden hadn't put the tracer on Dustil, but there was a whole new problem of who it was and how they got it done. He needed to press the urgency of finding the person with Kwyn, but it would have to wait for the moment. Carth had other unanswered questions, but he wasn't sure where to start, or, if he wanted to know.

"Why did you go to the Sith home world?" He asked deciding to dive into the deep end. Carth felt like he was drowning anyway.

"I was sent by the Midiclorians. They told me it was time; that the galaxy and the Republic would not withstand another Sith attack."

"When was this?" Carth asked.

"What does it matter?" Jaden asked exhaustion clear in her voice. "I did what I was told to do."

"I'm curious Jaden; did you learn of their plan the first or the second time you went?" Carth asked as he rubbed the back of his neck. He was exhausted too, and going through this exercise of half-truths was only making it worse. Jaden's shoulders slumped and she sighed.

"The first time was three years ago. I followed the Exile and the Ebon Hawk to the Sith empire."

"So you were on your way there when you notified the Republic that Atton and the others were on Malachor V."

Jaden rubbed her temples as she nodded. How Revan ever thought she could pull one over on Carth Onasi was beyond Jaden. Then again, Carth had been in love with Revan at the time.

"When the Exile made his choice on Korriban, there was a disturbance in the Force. That's when I was told the time was at hand, the Force was tipping more and more toward the dark side. When the Exile killed Kreia, I was told it was time to leave. I arrived at Malachor V, found Atton, and Visas and contacted the Republic." She held up her hand to stop the next question. "If I had stayed, there would have been too many questions, so I left."

Carth acknowledged her answer with a nod.

Atton leaned against one of the computer consoles settling in for the story. "What happened next?"

"I . . . joined the Sith." Jaden said with a shrug. Carth stopped his pacing and shot her a look with a raised brow. "I didn't know what else to do. I had to find a way to gain information, to learn what I could, so I went to their academy and joined up."

Carth's mouth did quirk into a slight smile, "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer."

"Something like that. Anyway, it didn't take them long to see the power I possessed and within a few weeks I found myself in the presence of the Exile and Revan." Jaden did sit down then. Remembering that time drained her and terrified her all over again.

"I thought I had been discovered, that this was the end. I had made a costly mistake and had failed in my mission. Every instinct I possessed told me to run." Jaden paused.

"But you didn't." Visas said quietly and Jaden shook her head.

"No. The more Revan and the Exile talked the more I found myself drawn to what they were saying. I was mesmerized and as I sat there I could feel myself falling to the dark side."

"Jaden?" Carth called her name. It was almost as if she was talking from a trance. She took a deep breath and seemed to come out of it. "Your balance was drawn off." He stated.

_More like flooded with a sea of darkness, _but she couldn't tell them that. "Yes. I was fine around the others simply because they were not as strong as I was."

"But Revan and the Exile overwhelmed you." Visas stated. Jaden nodded.

"I stayed as long as I dared; limiting the time I spent with them. I could last longer if it was one-on-one, but when they were together . . ." She said resting her head in her hands. After a few moments, she sat back and went on.

"I didn't know how much longer I could withstand the . . . assault of the dark side, but I also knew I couldn't just disappear. One of the other students was being sent on a series of missions so I asked if I could tag along, offering a . . . incentive if he let me go with him."

"Incentive?" Atton asked. Jaden sighed and nodded.

"Me. If he would allow me to go, then I would . . ." She trailed off averting her eyes from the group. Atton noticed Carth stiffen across the room and he could feel the anger and . . . jealousy? He wondered at that since he knew Carth was battling his feelings for Jaden, but he thought they ran more toward mistrust than affection.

"He agreed and off we went. We were into the second assignment and I couldn't stand his brutality of people any longer. Fortunately, I didn't have to hold up my end of the bargain. The subject of the second mission killed him." Jaden told them.

"What happened then?" Atton asked still watching Carth from the corner of his eye.

"I figured out how much time would be needed to complete the last four assignments. I added in what I thought would be a believable amount for someone who was . . . new to being a Sith Enforcer. Based on that, I returned home for a while to regain some sense of balance and sanity. The Midiclorians weren't very happy about it, but I managed to convince them that if I had stayed I probably would have fallen to the dark side and then where would the galaxy and Republic be."

"But you went back." Carth said prompting her continue.

"I had to. The second time I was better prepared to deal with it. I completed the assignments, in one fashion or another, and returned to the Sith academy."

"What do you mean in one fashion or another?" Visas asked. Jaden pulled on her bottom lip with her teeth, her green eyes clouding.

"I faked a couple of deaths, paid off one debt, but I did kill one of the men. He was an odious creature that preyed on young girls, making grand promises then either selling them into slavery or torturing them for his own sick and twisted pleasure. When I found him, he was beating a girl of about ten in between the repeated rapes by some of his cronies. I had no problem ending his and the others, lives."

"And the girl?" Visas asked quietly knowing Jaden would have been upset.

When Jaden didn't answer, Carth looked over to find Jaden staring off into space and a lone tear streaming down her face. The anguish radiated from her and caught him by surprise.

"I was going to get her medical attention, make sure she went home to her family. She begged me to kill her but I wouldn't. I assured her it would be okay. I even offered to bring her and her family to the Republic," she whispered wiping the tear from her cheek.

"When I wasn't looking, she grabbed my blaster and killed herself." Jaden added softly. "I asked around but couldn't find her family, so I made sure she received a decent burial." Jaden shook off the memory and went to the kitchen area for a drink. When she returned, Carth was watching her closely. He was masking his emotions well, so she couldn't read him very easily. At the moment, it didn't matter. He wanted the truth so that's what she was going to do. Tell the truth, even the ugly parts of it.

"When I arrived back at the academy they were very impressed that a student could handle the assignments, especially after losing my mentor. The instructors felt I was ready to move on in the training so they put me in the next level of classes." Jaden looked at Atton, "One of them was ways to defeat the Jedi."

Atton had the grace to look uncomfortable since at one point in his life, that's what he did, until one Jedi had changed his outlook. He still killed her, but she had created many questions within him and he walked away from the Jedi Civil war, and from being a Sith Assassin.

"I realized this was the Sith training for battle. The Sith marauders, assassins and the military all learning how to defeat the Jedi, and the Republic, war machine. The weaknesses, the strategies, they had it all." Jaden told them as she sat back down.

"But how? The Republic hasn't had contact with the true Sith in centuries." Atton said as he began to pace.

"Carth let out a slow breath and shook his head. "Revan and the Exile."

"Yes. Since Revan had gone to war against the Mandalorians she had learned a great deal about Republic military strategy." Jaden spoke, thinking _ugly truth time. _ "She would give lectures on Republic strategies. Revan was _very_ specific about certain generals and admirals and how they thought, planned their battles." Jaden noticed Carth's jaw was clenched, as were his fists. "That's how I first learned about you, Admiral." Jaden added somewhat spitefully.

"Go on." He said through clenched teeth, his eyes closed.

"At some point, someone became suspicious. I don't know if it was because I asked so many questions, or was caught hacking into the files, yours specifically," At that Carth did look over at her, "Or it could have been jealousy, I don't know. Whatever it was, I found myself under greater scrutiny and it wasn't because I was an outstanding student. I took extra care to be cautious. I felt there was more going on than just military options and I knew I would need something more concrete than what I had learned.

"Things started happening, accidents I managed to walk away from with little or no injuries, stuff like that. I had decided to leave when I became sick. I hadn't been feeling well, so I turned in early one night. When I woke up, I was in the med center. The medical droid told me I'd been poisoned. Apparently I should have been dead, that's how high the dose given to me was."

"Who found you?" Atton asked, fascinated and awed by her courage.

"I don't know. And no, there was no tracer put on me. I ran the test myself and then had HK and T3 do one."

"Statement: That is correct. Neither T3 or I found any tracer." HK told the group.

"Beep." T3 agreed.

"Then what happened?" Visas asked. Jaden had never told her this part of her history and she was fascinated.

Jaden sighed. She was exhausted and wished she didn't need to go on. To her, the whole nightmarish time was over. Jaden knew what she had to do and just wanted to get it done.

"When I recovered enough I was told I was to meet with the Exile and Revan. I asked what it was about, but no one knew or they weren't going to tell me."

"Okay, so you met with them, you had already learned their military options and so they told you the rest." Carth said, his frustration showing through. Whether he was upset with Jaden or himself, she couldn't tell.

"He had learned about the Valley, about you." Visas stated.

"Yes. I realized that when I was getting dressed."

"What do you mean?" Carth asked with a sigh.

"I have a mark on my back. It's the exact same mark the Exile has but in reverse."

"Positive and negative images." Visas said and Jaden nodded half-expecting Carth to demand to see it. It was, however Atton who broke through the tension in the group when he leered at her, waggling his eyebrows, "Do we get to see?"

Well, at least three of them chuckled. Jaden looked over at Carth but he seemed to be a million miles away. He was the one that started this inquisition, yet it was Atton and Visas that seemed to be asking all the questions.

Carth started out of his reverie as if he just realized they had stopped talking. He looked at each of them and told Jaden to continue.

"All right. When I arrived at the main chamber, it was empty, except for a star map illuminated in the center of the room. I knew immediately that they were trying to find the Valley of the Jedi. When I heard Revan's voice I thought about hiding, but, well, that wouldn't work. Now that the Exile knew whom he had within his grasp, he would know immediately that I was there. So I waited, off to the side of course, for them to come in."

"Jaden, if you knew you would've been discovered, why didn't you just leave?" Visas asked.

"I couldn't. I had to know. Besides, the Exile would have expected that and I wouldn't have gotten very far. Anyway, I had a better chance to defend myself this way. You know, not in shackles."

_Or dead,_ Carth thought. "Why did you take that risk?" He snapped, demanding to know.

"It was necessary, Admiral. You don't always gain what you want by playing it safe." She answered him with the same snappish tone.

"But you could have died there, Jaden. If the Exile knew who you were, it was a very big risk. He could have tortured you for the location of the Valley of the Jedi. None of us the wiser about what was happening until it would have been too late." Visas said quietly.

No one said anything for several minutes. The hum of the engines was the only sound permeating the main hold. Carth had begun prowling the room like a caged animal. Jaden dropped her guard for one moment, but put it back into place when she realized the tight control he was keeping on his anger and distress. It was the only thing keeping her in one piece, the control he was exhibiting. Mentally she shook her head; Jaden really wished she could figure out the paradox that was Carth Onasi. What had she said or done now, that made him so taciturn and irascible? Jaden was doing what he asked, telling what had been happening and how she learned of the Exile's plan. If he didn't like what he was hearing, that was just too damn bad.

_How could she do that?_ He thought. Jaden had taken risk after risk with her life and walking into the Krayt dragon's den, so to speak, was plain insanity. He admired her courage, but wanted to ring her neck because of the chances she took. On the other hand, she had stayed with him for 14 days while he was in a coma. She was caught accessing a file that Revan had put together on him and Republic military strategies. He really wished he could find some way to figure her out. Hell, he wished he could figure out his own feelings of confusion.

"Query: Master?" HK's voice boomed into the silence, "Perhaps T3 should play the data on your meeting with the Exile."

Jaden thought for a moment and decided that was probably for the best. She doubted she could explain it any better. "Go ahead, T3."

"Dwoo." T3 commented repeatedly as he went to the main computer console, hooked up and began running the meeting on the holovid projector.

* * *

When the holovid began, the group could see Jaden walk into the massive room and look around at the black and durasteel walls. The room was octagonal and dimly lit from above by the reflection of the blood red sun of the planet flashing off the polished mirrors at the top. It was sparsely furnished but they watched as Jaden moved to the center of room and studied the illuminated star map. She put her hands on her hips and shook her head. In the background, voices came closer, and Jaden looked over her shoulder and then around before walking over to one of the black pillars, where she stood just out of sight.

As Revan and the Exile entered the room, he stopped for a moment, frowned and then moved on. Even in the large room, his presence wasn't dwarfed. He stood tall and straight, his dark hair neatly trimmed, his face showing none of the ravages of the dark side. His build was lean but none that knew him doubted his strength. His light blue eyes gave away nothing but they were sharp with knowledge.

"So you're saying that we have the light side point within our grasp? How do you know this?" Revan asked.

"She is marked, the same as I. They discovered it when Jaden was taken to the med center. You did discover who had poisoned her?" He asked looking over his shoulder. Jaden could be seen in the background.

"Yes and the student has been dealt with. Although, allowing her to die would have solved a lot of problems, would it not?"

The Exile pulled Revan close and kissed her, "My darling, Revan. Jaden may be the light side point, but she is not the ultimate prize." He told her tapping her nose, "The Valley of the Jedi is the ultimate prize."

"But the Valley of the Jedi is only a legend." She said stroking his cheek.

"And Jaden is the legend brought to life."

"So what do you plan to do when she arrives? Just ask her where it is?"

The Exile smiled, "Jaden would die before she revealed that information, Revan. She's an embodier, which means she can withstand a great deal. She has no family, no ties to anyone special, so to speak, so her death would accomplish nothing at this point."

Revan narrowed her eyes, "Just what is that gorgeous devious mind of yours brewing?"

"As I said, Jaden won't reveal the location of the Valley. However, if someone was convinced that the Sith were going to strike at the Valley, then a concerted effort to protect it would be made. Once the location was known, Jaden would be force to defend it."

"And we would be there to strike her down." Revan said with something akin to glee.

"I would be there to strike her down." He said with quiet authority.

"You?" She asked suspiciously.

"Yes. If Jaden is struck down at the heart of the Valley, especially by her counterpart, the echo across the galaxy of the death of the light side would be so powerful there would be little to no defense against it."

"Shifting . . . No, unbalancing the Force, and causing it to accept the dark side."

"Like water over a broken dam." He said pulling her close again. "I knew there was a reason I adored you."

Revan pulled his face close and kissed him. "And I know the perfect person to help us." She said with a brilliant smile. The Exile raised an eyebrow in inquiry. "Admiral Carth Onasi."

The Exile frowned, "I think someone on the Jedi Council would be better. Bastila perhaps?" He suggested. Revan shook her head.

"To smart, she would catch on and want to involve the whole damn council. Carth, on the other hand, would be a more natural choice." She told him.

"And why is that?"

"Our past relationship." She said as the Exile stepped out of her arms and crossed his own over his chest. "Hear me out," she went on, "When I left, Carth still believed I was firmly on the path of the light side and left to find some Sith threat. He has no idea I have joined the Sith at your side. So, I return, tell him I have discovered what the threat is and I need his help. Carth has access, or can get access, to every Republic database. The Jedi Council, fools that they are, trust him so he can get information from them. Hell, his idiot son works for the council."

"Revan, I will be forever grateful to Admiral Onasi for sparing your life and showing you some . . . delightful diversions, but he didn't get to be an admiral by being stupid or that trusting." He said with his arms still crossed.

"Darling, you're going to have to trust me on this. He was so besotted with me I can make him believe what I need him to."

"And if he's moved on? Seven years is a long time." He pointed out.

"Please," Revan drolled, "when Carth Onasi makes a promise, I guarantee you he would crawl from his grave to keep it. He promised to wait for me. Granted, it might take a couple of days, but I can certainly get him wrapped around my finger. Don't worry darling, Admiral Onasi won't know what he's done until HK puts a blaster shot through his head."

"You would kill him?" He asked surprised, letting his arms fall to his sides.

"He would never serve you or the Sith." Revan said matter-of-factly. The Exile nodded.

"What if he refused to help, or figured out what we were up to? As I said, he's not stupid, Revan."

"There are only two things important to Carth Onasi, the belabored beast called the Republic and his son. If Carth refuses or becomes too suspicious, we only need to grab Dustil."

"In that order?" He asked sarcastically.

Revan shrugged, "When I left, that's how it was. I'm making an allowance for the time since then. They have had the chance to bond." She shuddered with a sneer.

"I'm curious Revan, what do you have against the Admiral's son?"

"Besides being spineless and whiny? Nothing."

The Exile paced for a few minutes then turned to her, "All right. Go see what you can get out of Admiral Onasi."

Revan gave him a beautiful smile before jumping into his arms.

"Very soon, it will all be yours." She told him in between kisses.

"Ours, love, ours." He said before capturing her lips for a deep kiss.

"I'll keep you updated as often as I can."

* * *

The holovid stopped at that point.

"Play the rest, T3" Jaden told the little droid quietly.

"Dwoo."

* * *

The door closed on the practically skipping Revan as she left the chamber. The Exile rolled his eyes but smiled as he walked over to a small table and poured himself a drink.

"The Ebon Hawk is in Hanger 236."

Jaden stepped out from the shadow of the pillar.

"Do you think she'll succeed?" She asked, walking over to him and taking the drink he offered. He thought for a moment and then smiled at Jaden.

"I doubt it. I never met Admiral Onasi, but from what I know of him, he's distrustful and I suppose I can relate to that. I don't think she will find this mission as easy as she believes it to be, but we shall see."

"And in the meantime?" Jaden asked as she studied the man who had created a wound in her all those years ago.

The Exile waved toward the 3-D star map, "I'll keep looking for the keys." He turned to her and gave her an engaging grin. "You know, since you are here, I suppose I should ask; Jaden, where is the Valley of the Jedi?"

Jaden grinned right back at him, "But you said it yourself. I am the legend brought to life."

"Can't blame a guy for trying."

"Yes, well Zared, no one can accuse you of doing anything half way, now can they." She said as she touched the rim of her glass to his. They both drank, but kept a wary eye on each other. Jaden set her glass down and began to leave.

"One more thing, Jaden. Do not harm Revan. If you do, there is not a place in the . . . universe you can hide. I will find you." He told her in an ominous tone.

"Then leave the boy out of it." She snapped, her eyes flashing.

"I can't guarantee that."

"Then I can't guarantee that I won't defend myself." Jaden told him. She unhooked the saber she had been given by the Sith and tossed it to him. He caught it with one hand and watched Jaden leave.

"Go with her, T3. Tell HK what is going on. Revan is not to harm Jaden."

* * *

"General Zared. Bao Dur always referred to him as the 'General'." Atton said in to the silence that had stretched for several minutes after T3 played the last past of the holovid.

"So you two know each other." Carth asked with such malice, Jaden inwardly cringed. She recognized the mistrustful and just-one-more-lie tone in his voice, but under that was unbearable heartbreak. For the first time since Jaden heard the voice, she cut herself off from it. It was too heartrending to bear.

"Just in the sense that we recognize what we are to each other." Jaden told him with a sigh. He gave her a skeptical look.

"So you _did_ return with Revan." He stated.

"I hid on the Ebon Hawk until we reached the outer rim. I found other transportation to the academy on Sirius. I arrived only a few hours before the Ebon Hawk.

"And you didn't think to find me?" He exploded. "Or to tell someone about what was going to happen?" Carth demanded to know. His breathing was harsh and the veins stood out on his forehead.

"You were in the middle of your son's graduation ceremony. You doubt what you just saw for yourself, and now you're going to tell me that you would have believed me? Someone you never met before, telling you that Revan, a woman you love, is coming to lie, use, and murder you?" She shouted incredulous that he would even ask such a stupid question.

Carth was saved from answering when T3 started to beep and whistle.

"We're coming up on Dxun." Atton said and quickly headed for the bridge. Visas followed.

"Go with him T3, and run a scan. It might let us know the best place to start. I'll be there in a moment." She said walking around the central computer console over to Carth.

"While you were in surgery, I located the Ebon Hawk in an abandoned hanger. HK-47 was my immediate concern so I began reprogramming him so he wouldn't go after Dustil. That's when he informed me of the tracer and assured me you wouldn't be assassinated. It seems you are one of few organic meatbags HK likes."

"Confirmation: As I told you, Admiral. The Master being the other, of course." HK said.

"I already told you I went home, when I left after you were out of danger. By the time I caught up to you at the edge of the Unknown Regions, the Exile had learned that Revan was dead. Zared assumed it was you who had done it and that's why the Sith fleet was there. They were looking for you."

"You told me they were after you!" Carth said seething.

"And when they actually showed up, they were. You see, Admiral, I sent a message to Zared informing him that I had . . . defended myself against Revan. He will hunt for me, as he searches for the keys to the Valley of the Jedi, make no mistake about that." Jaden told him and then started for the bridge.

"Jaden!" Carth called out to her. She stopped, but didn't turn around.

"You have your truth, Admiral. Do with it what you will."


	12. Chapter 11

Jaden shut and locked the door to the bridge before she sat down heavily in the co-pilots chair. She was drained, her head pounded and exhaustion snaked through her like a lethal virus. She couldn't afford to be this close to the edge. She needed her strength to stay sharp, to keep her balance in check.

"Here." Atton told her holding out his hand. "Take what you need."

"Thank you." She whispered as she took his hand, put her head back, and closed her eyes. After a few minutes, he asked if she was better.

"Yeah." She answered giving him a smile and squeezing his hand once before letting go. "Has T3 come up with anything? She asked. The brief contact with Atton's light side power had gone a long way to ease the stress from being around Carth's anger and distrust.

"A couple of possible spots but I can't really detect anything. It could be residual power fluxuations."

"Well, now that my sight conscious ability is out of the bag, did you meet any of Canderous men?"

"Several, why?"

"Can you clearly recall them?" She asked.

"I think so." Atton answered. Jaden held out her hand and he gingerly took it. "This isn't going to hurt, is it?" He asked.

Jaden smiled at him, "You big baby."

"Hey, some of us haven't been Force embodiers all our life." He said petulantly. Jaden shook her head with a smile.

"Think of who you met, one at a time. I'll tell you when to move on to the next."

It took several tries but Jaden finally told him to concentrate harder "Who are you picturing?" She had an image of a Mandalorian dressed in blue battle armor from head to toe.

"I think his name was Kelborn. Did you find him?"

"There's a lot of dark side energy, but I think so." Jaden replied frowning.

"He is a Mandalorian." He pointed out sarcastically.

"No, it's stronger, bigger." Jaden said chuckling.

"Maybe he's at the tomb of Freedom Nadd." Atton said and found his hand abruptly released. "What?"

"The Sith Lord, Freedom Nadd?" She squeaked. He was the strongest of the original Sith Lords. This could mean trouble for her and in her current state that was something she didn't need.

"Yeah. The Mandalorians had kept close to their own compound so they didn't know it was there until we returned with the Exile the second time and wiped out the Sith." He answered. The time the Exile killed Master Kavar, his one-time mentor and friend.

"Why would they be there?" Jaden asked.

"A place to hide? Even though General Zared helped Vaklu, I don't think Vaklu would care about a Sith tomb."

"How far is it from the Mandalorian compound?" She asked as an idea began to grow in her mind.

"Jaden," Atton said narrowing his eyes, "What's going on?"

"How far, Atton?"

"Half a day hike, if I remember correctly. Wait a minute you can't go there! No, we have to come up with something else." He told her shaking his head.

"It'll work." She whispered, "The compound is far enough away that the dark side pull will be minimal. I can handle that." _Liar, liar._

"Jaden, I don't like this." He said shaking his head. He could feel the exhaustion rolling off Jaden in waves.

"We don't have a choice, Atton. I need Canderous."

"What about, Carth? He's here Jaden, he ultimately has what you need."

"The Admiral has mixed feelings right now. I can draw nothing from him." She told him absently as her mind began to spin with an idea.

"The Admiral?" He asked curiously.

Jaden ignored Atton for the moment as her brain shifted in to gear. Her idea was beginning to take shape. "I'll drop you and the Admiral off close to the tomb. You find this Kelborn and convince him to come back to the compound, and I'll meet you there."

"Jaden . . ."

"Atton, this will work and kill a couple of Cannoks in the process." She said finally looking at him.

"What are you talking about?" He asked with a significant amount of resignation.

"I can speak with Kelborn about helping me get Canderous out of prison and Onasi can let loose his anger." Jaden told him as if that solved everything. Maybe it did to Jaden, but Atton was skeptical. "Atton, the control the Admiral is exhibiting is phenomenal. If he doesn't release his anger soon, be it at him self, or me it will consume him. That could cause even greater damage, if you get my drift. The compound should be close enough that his anger will be fed from the tomb, but far enough away that it won't keep me from yelling right back!" She finished excitedly.

"So you two have a knock-down drag out, then what?" He asked still not sure, he liked the idea.

"We bust Canderous out of prison and Onasi can get on with his life."

Atton sighed and shook his head. "Jaden, I know you . . . have feelings, deep feelings, for the Admiral, but at what point are you going to say enough?"

"None of this is his fault, Atton, you know that." She said quietly. Jaden was at fault and the guilt weighed heavily on her shoulders.

"You saved his life, you have done everything you can to protect him and his son. You have tried to spare his feelings by . . ."

"Lying?"

"Withholding injurious information and all he's done is treat you with hostility. He's been a galaxy-wide ass."

"I know." She said softly, "Maybe I feel I need to punish myself for what I've done to him, what the Force has done to him." She added.

Atton didn't say anything further. He adored Jaden, but also accepted that those feelings would never be returned, but that didn't stop him though, from wanting to kick Carth's ass all over again.

"Atton?"

"Yeah?" He said shaking himself from his thoughts.

"I appreciate your concern and your feelings for me. The fact that you are here and continue to stand by me means a great deal." She told him softly.

"Even when I ignore your orders?" He asked with a slight smile. "Can I at least kick his ass again?"

"Even then, but no." Jaden told him with a grin and eye waggle. "If this works out, it's my turn to kick some ass." She added as she stood.

"I don't like seeing you hurt, Jaden, and you're right about him being conflicted, but that doesn't give him the right to say or do things that hurt you."

"It'll be okay, Atton. I promise." She said as she leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Now, get out of my chair so I can take my ship back."

"Aye, Aye, Captain!" He said vacating the pilots' chair.

"Take Visas with you."

"Is that wise?" He asked moving toward the door.

"It'll be okay. I need to be alone for a while."

"Alright." He said with a sigh as he opened the door, "Visas, Admiral," Atton called out, "Time to lock and load."

* * *

Carth followed behind Atton and Visas as they made their way toward the tomb of Freedom Nadd. He understood why Jaden couldn't come here. In her present state, the draw of the dark side would be too strong for her to withstand for long. What added to his all ready formidable anger was the fact that she was alone, orbiting the moon where Vaklu or anyone else could find her. Hell, she admitted the Exile was after her and there she was, orbiting Dxun like a sitting duck. Jaden was taking too many chances and it drove him mad.

_~~ What do you care? ~~ _His mind asked.

_Damn it, I do care! Maybe more than I should_, he thought. He was terrified for her; Carth didn't want to lose her yet. The time would come soon enough when she would return to the Force, and it tore him apart.

There was a side of him that understood why she had withheld the truth from him. Listening to her tell about her time on the Sith home world, proved she had the courage to do what was necessary. Nevertheless, he had pushed and she had shown that damn holovid T3 carried, and Carth's world had been destroyed. Even now, hours later, he couldn't think about it. The pain that ripped though him was devastating. He knew it wasn't Jaden's fault, Revan's betrayal, but the need to blame someone beside himself was so strong that Carth laid it squarely on her shoulders.

"Onasi!" Atton practically shouted in his ear and Carth startled back to the present. "The tomb is just ahead. Keep your head on the matter at hand."

"Don't worry about me, Rand. You do your job and I'll do mine." Carth growled at him.

"We should have dropped you off on Onderon." Atton muttered as he glared at him.

"Both of you stop it. This isn't helping." Visas told them quietly.

"But it certainly is entertaining." The Mandalorian told them as he switched off his stealth field generator and appeared before them. Three more Mandalorians appeared in a circle around them.

"Sith spit." Atton mumbled.

"Identify yourselves." The man dressed head to toe in battered red battle armor asked. Before Carth or Atton could say anything, Visas stepped forward.

"I am Visas Marr, this is Atton Rand and Admiral Carth Onasi." She said pointing to each of them. "We would like to speak to Kelborn."

"And what would this be about?"

"Is he here or not?" Carth asked, making it just short of a demand. Visas turned and frowned at him.

"Admiral!" She admonished him before turning her attention back to the Mandalorian. "We are traveling with a woman by the name of Jaden and she is very strong in the Force. However, because of special circumstances, she's unable to be this close to the Sith Lord's tomb. She has asked us to meet with Kelborn and see if he would be willing to meet with her at the old Mandalorian compound."

"Why does this . . . Jaden wish to meet with Kelborn?" He asked.

"It's a matter that she should discuss with him directly." Visas told him.

"She wants to break Mandalore out of prison." Carth snapped, his patience nearly gone.

Atton grabbed his arm, "Excuse us a minute." He said with an overly bright smile and yanked Carth away from the group. "What the hell is wrong with you?" He asked in a furious whisper when he thought they were far enough away so they wouldn't be overheard.

"Just getting to the point, we're running out of time."

"That desperate to get away?" Atton snapped at him.

Carth turned away and took a couple of steps. He took a deep breath and went back to the group. "My apologies for my shortness. Time is an issue, however, and Jaden needs your help and Mandalore." He said using an apologetic tone.

"Why does this Jaden want to break Mandalore out of prison?"

"As we said, it's a reason best left for Jaden to explain." Atton said as he rejoined the group.

No one said anything for several moments, then the red clad Mandalorian nodded, "Follow me."

* * *

"Beep, Bwoop."

"What?" Jaden asked distractedly.

"Beep?"

"No, T3, I'm sure Admiral Onasi isn't mad at you for what Revan said."

"Dwee?"

"No, he's not really mad at me either, T3. What Revan has done hurt him. He'll need to come to terms with that on his own."

"Query: Do you think he will, Master?"

"I don't know, HK. He's a good man when you get to the heart of it, but when something like this happens to a . . . organic meatbag, well, it can be difficult to come back from." She told the droid, wondering if he would.

"Beep?"

Jaden smiled and was about to tell T3 that yes, being a droid had its advantages, when the little droid began to beep excitedly.

"Now what?" Jaden asked. T3 continued to beep and began shaking his head. "Are you sure? How the hell . . .?"

"Dwoo." Jaden sat back hard in the chair and sighed. She took a deep breath, looked at T3, and nodded.

"What do you want, Zared?" She asked as the small hologram appeared next to her. Even as a small size, his presence was still commanding. He was dressed all in black and had a pleasant look on his face.

"I told you, you could not hide." He said with a slight smile.

"Dwoo." T3 beeped softly. Jaden turned and frowned at the little droid.

"Don't worry, T3." Zared said as his smile grew, "It's just a friendly chat."

"What do you want?" Jaden asked again.

"Fine." Zared sighed, "Was it you or Admiral Onasi that discovered the tracer put on Dustil?" He asked.

"What tracer?" She asked innocently, thankful that Carth was elsewhere.

"Stupid isn't a becoming look for you, Jaden." He snapped and his eyes flashed dangerously. Even though they were nowhere near each other, she felt the tug of the dark side.

"Does it matter?" She sighed. _Why was this happening now?_

"No, I suppose it doesn't." He told her after a moment. "I'll leave him be."

"Thank you." She said quietly letting her body relax. Zared studied her closely.

"There is something though, that I would like in exchange for his life." He experienced a brief thrill of satisfaction when Jaden stiffened before she laid her head back and closed her eyes. _Interesting, he thought_.He knew Jaden had been spending time with Admiral Onasi and his son, he just hadn't realized the depth of her feelings.

"What do you want?" She whispered trying to desperately keep the fear out of her voice.

"One of the keys." Jaden didn't say anything for a long time. "A key for a life. It's a simple trade, Jaden." Still she didn't answer. Zared shook his head sadly. "The Sojourn would make excellent target practice."

"Tatooine. There's a cave, where Revan found one of the Star Maps. It's there."

"Where in the cave?" He asked pleased it was so easy to get what he wanted.

"I don't know, Zared!" She snapped as she sat up, "I know where the Valley is, I don't need the keys." She told him smugly. "I'd take a digger with you, though, try under the map itself."

"Darling . . ." He began his voice slick with oily wickedness.

"Zared, that's the best I can do. It's all I know." Jaden told him. "One of the keys is on Tatooine, and that's the most logical place."

"All right, Jaden. I'll be in touch." He said. _That was easy. Too easy, _he thought.

"Zared, one more thing." Jaden said quickly when she noticed he was ready to disconnect.

"Yes?"

"Why did you attack Dantooine?" She asked.

"I didn't." He replied with a false sense of innocence.

"Stupid isn't a becoming look for you, Zared." Jaden snapped his own words back at him. Zared tipped his head down, but Jaden could still see his slight smile.

"Let's call it . . . pre-planning." He said looking at her through his lashes.

"You haven't won yet. Leave the Jedi alone." Jaden said. The quiet warning wasn't lost on him.

"Or what?" He asked in a deadly voice.

Jaden studied him for a moment. "This is between you and me. Our . . . armies, if you will, can wait."

Zared narrowed his eyes as he studied her. "Rules?"

"Let's just call them guidelines." She told him knowing he wouldn't follow any rules of engagement. But, then again, if it came down to it, neither would she. Jaden would protect what was hers and in this case, that was everything.

"Agreed, I'll see you soon." He said and moments later the holovid disappeared.

"Not a word about this to anyone." Jaden told the droids before she slammed her fist into the console beside her.

* * *

Carth knew something was wrong as he followed the others to the tomb of Freedom Nadd. He couldn't decide if he was feeling frustration or helplessness, he just knew that something had happened to Jaden. He shook his head in resignation; it was something else she would keep from him. _A few more hours, _he thought, _and Jaden would be able to keep all her secrets._ She was going to get her way, he would return to the Sojourn and live out his life. He would deal with whatever happened, when the time came.

There would be no early retirement for him. He wouldn't return to Telos to help rebuild his home. There would be no Jaden; even for a short time; so Carth would do what he had always done when faced with nothing . . . he would be the soldier he always was. Carth could always count on that one thing. Being a soldier had never let him down. He wasn't sure why he had just come to this conclusion about what he should do, it certainly didn't seem like the right time, but was one time ever better than another? It didn't matter now since they had arrived at the tomb and Atton and Visas were greeted with respect. Carth stayed in the background, which was probably a wise move on his part, since Atton was watching him closely. However, his good intentions were derailed when Kelborn recognized his name and talk turned to the Mandalorian War.

The war was a sore spot for Carth. His life began to spiral out of his control at that point. Even though the Republic had won, under the leadership of Revan and Malak, their turn to the dark side had brought the Sith. His mentor, Saul Karath, had joined them and to prove his loyalty, he bombed Telos, killing Carth's wife and taking his son from him. To Carth's way of thinking, if the Mandalorians hadn't attacked the Republic, then perhaps all the rest wouldn't have happened.

The particular argument, one Carth had had with Canderous, was the difference between a warrior and a soldier. Visas stepped between him and Kelborn when the exchange became heated.

"Soldiers protect the innocent; they don't go to war to conquer them through indiscriminate slaughter." Carth said heatedly as Visas placed a hand on his chest.

"We fought for the honor of war, the glory of the battle."

"Honor? Glory? Mandalore and I have had this argument before; he wasn't able to convince me that the Mandalorians fought for your vaunted honor, and glory, what makes you think you can?"

"We are not afraid to die on the battlefield for what we believe or make the sacrifices necessary to achieve our goals. The Republic knows nothing of sacrifice, the strength to be gained by such. Instead, they stagnate behind the curtain of peace and the status quo, hoping to rebuild the archaic mistakes of the past instead of letting go and strengthening what is intact." Kelborn told him heatedly.

"You know nothing of sacrifice, of what the Republic or its' citizens sacrificed in the name of your or the Sith and their conquests." Carth added between clenched teeth.

"Enough!" Visas snapped. "None of this matters right now, or in the future if we don't help Jaden and get Mandalore out of prison."

Both men glared at each other but said nothing more.

"Kelborn," Atton began, "will you at least meet with Jaden?"

"Why is Mandalore so important to Jaden?"

"Jaden can answer any questions I'm sure you have," Visas answered, "Please, will you meet with her? There is a threat to the galaxy, greater than any before, and Jaden will need Mandalore's help."

"We have the plans to the prison." Carth added as an incentive.

"Very well, I will listen. I'll meet with Jaden at the compound in the morning." Kelborn raised his hand, "It is too dangerous to travel at night."

* * *

Carth, Visas, and Atton contacted Jaden to come pick them up and let her know the plan. Atton suggested they land on the moon to avoid detection by Vaklu so that's what they did. Jaden landed in a field close to the compound.

"You were gone a long time. What happened down there?" Jaden asked as she shut down the engines.

"Besides the philosophical discussion between warrior and soldier that Admiral Onasi participated in? Nothing that his short temper and nasty responses couldn't cure." Atton said sarcastically.

"What are you talking about?" She asked afraid something like this might have happened. Carth had been unusually silent when she had picked them up.

"Well, it started when poster boy interrupted Visas and her tactful explanation for our arrival. No, wait, it actually started with his surly and silent mood that I had to snap him out of it, then it was Visas, then, when we met with Kelborn they got into an argument on the differences between soldier and warrior." Atton said as Carth walked on to the bridge, "That's what happened down there."

"What happened up here, Jaden?" Carth asked with a raised brow. Jaden recognized the challenge, but how did he . . .

"Nothing. T3 and HK had one of their typical fights, but other than that . . ."

Carth shook his head. He had known that she was going to lie to him but he still clung to some stupid ideal that she was . . . "Good thing I'm gone soon. You won't need to lie to me much longer." He said.

Jaden and Carth glared at each other. _Somehow, he knew, _she thought.

"Are we close enough?" Atton asked after watching the staring contest for a few moments. The tension in the bridge was almost a physical thing it was so heavy.

"What?" Both Carth and Jaden asked at the same time. Atton looked at Jaden.

"Are we close enough? Are we far enough away?"

"For what?" Carth snapped.

"For Jaden to kick your ass without your anger draining her life." Atton snapped right back with a venomous look.

Carth turned away from them and took a deep breath.

"Jaden?" Atton asked her. Jaden closed her eyes, stretching out with her mind. After a few moments, she nodded.

"Fine. I'll stay close though, just in case." Atton said leaving the bridge.

"What was that all about?" Carth asked quietly after the door had shut.

"The tomb of Freedom Nadd has enough dark side energy that your anger will draw from that source and not me. So let's have it. What's crawled up your ass so far that you would jeopardize my meeting with Kelborn?"

"I didn't jeopardize anything."

"You're the one who suggested finding the Mandalorians in the first place. Now you're going to . . . lie to me about what happened?" She asked curiously.

"Oh that's rich!" He snapped, shaking his head. "The queen of the lies is going to stand there and accuse me of the very thing you've done?" Jaden could feel the pull of the dark side, but it wasn't too bad.

"Yeah, I guess I am." She told him nodding, "My . . . lies, as you call them, were intended to spare you, not cause you harm."

"Is there any truth in the Jedi or the Force?" He suddenly asked catching Jaden off guard. "Does the concept of truth even exist in their teachings?" Carth asked her as he moved around the cockpit.

"Well, since I'm not a Jedi, I don't know their teachings. As for the Force, you only need to look at the light and dark sides to know what is truth." _What in the galaxy?_

Carth scoffed and began laughing. "Then it's all a lie, Jaden. The Jedi believe their version is the truth just as the Sith believe their dark side is the truth."

"What are you saying?" She asked as the pull of the dark side became stronger. It was no longer coming from her; Carth had tapped the power of the tomb.

"It's all a lie, Jaden. All of it. Bastila lied to me; the Jedi Council lied to me. Revan," the pause was telling, "Lied to me. You have lied to me from the beginning." He held up his hand and counted each item on his list.

"Admiral . . ."

"I'm not done," He stated with a growl. "How Revan died, the nature of our bond, your visits to the Sith home world, you knowing the Exile, your contact with him, who you really are and why all this is necessary. The keys he needs to find, my sons part in this plan of his . . ." Carth ran out of fingers and he closed both hands into fists

"Admiral . . ."

"And now what happened earlier. I know something happened Jaden, I could feel your frustration and helplessness." His voice rose during his recitation, as did his agitation. Jaden studied him for a few moments.

"Do you tell your soldiers everything about a battle plan?" Jaden asked calmly.

"What? That is not the same thing and you know it." Carth snapped back.

"Yes it is. You don't tell them everything. You, Admiral, tell them what they need to know about the objective of their mission and the best way to carry out their orders." She told him heatedly.

"I'm not lying to them."

"But you're not telling them everything. You do the same thing, Admiral, that you are accusing me of doing." Jaden told him, letting her own anger flow through her.

"Jaden . . ."

"No, Admiral, you had your say, now it's my turn. I had nothing to do with the Jedi Council or Bastila's betrayal. I had nothing to do with Revan until she attacked me, so you cannot lay any of that blame at my feet. Everything since then, I have done because I felt it was the best for everyone involved. The fact that I know General Zared has no effect on this situation or the outcome." Jaden shouted at him. "Why does it matter that I recognized what he is? It changes nothing. It has no effect on you, outside of the fact that he was fracking Revan!" Jaden shut up. She hadn't meant to say those words but out they came anyway and the effect on Carth was devastating. His back became ramrod straight and his eyes darkened dangerously. Jaden instantly recognized what lay at the heart of his fury.

"Damn you, Jaden." He whispered the agony clear in his quiet words. Jaden turned away and headed for the door, but she stopped.

"I told you Zared would hunt me down and he has, so today I traded your son's life and those on the Sojourn, for one of the keys to the Valley of the Jedi. I'm done arguing with you, Admiral. I can't package the truth to make it more acceptable to you." She told him quietly and reached for the door control.

"Why did you do it? Why did you give the Exile one of the keys?"

Jaden thought for a moment. Would it matter if she told him she cared for him and Dustil? Would it matter that she thought of Dustil as the son she would never have? Jaden let the anger drain from her, and decided she had nothing to lose at this point. Carth had made his decision hours ago, to leave them, no, to leave her.

"I did it . . ." She started to tell him but he interrupted her.

"And don't tell me it was for me and Dustil." He lashed out, still angry and hurt.

"Then I have nothing to tell you." She told him with a quiet sadness.


	13. Chapter 12

Carthpaid no attention to how long he stayed in the cockpit, he only knew he collapsed against the navicomputer feeling ripped open and raw. He fought against the anger coutsing through him, but it a losing battle. Jaden was right. She couldn't package the truth to make it acceptable to him. She was also correct when she told him that would do the same thing - tell those under his command what he felt they needed to know for the mission. Perhaps what was worse is he had slapped Jaden in the face with her feelings. He sucked in a sharp breath and swallowed back the emotion that threatened to overcome him. He was an idiot and he needed to apologize but he was also terrified she would look at him with dead eyes and dismiss him.

When Carth entered the main hold, Atton and Visas were there along with the droids. He paused only briefly before going to Jaden's quarters and finding it empty. He checked the other cabins, the cargo hold and the maintenance hanger, but there was no sign of her.

"Where's Jaden?" He asked coming into the main hold. Atton gave him a you-have-got-to-be-kidding look. Visas took pity on him.

"She's gone to the compound to wait for the Mandalorians."

"She what?" Carth exploded.

"Back off, poster boy." Atton growled as he stood up, his hand near his saber.

"One of the reasons I get angry is because she does crap like this!" Carth shouted. "Jaden should know better than to go wandering around at night. Didn't you try to stop her?" He demanded of Atton.

"She can take care of herself." He shouted back. "Why the hell do you care anyway?"

"Atton," Visas said softly. Jaden was under enough stress; she didn't need her two strongest allies at each other's throats.

"No, Atton obviously has something to say, so let's have it." Carth told her.

"You better believe I do! Ever since you found out the truth, the whole truth, you've done nothing but take it out on Jaden, who has done nothing but protect you and Dustil this whole time. Not only physically, but protected you from the ugly truth. You were brutally used by Revan and you're angry because she got the better of you- made you a fool."

"I should have known." It was Carth's turn to growl.

"Why? How? Up until a year ago, you couldn't even use the Force." Atton demanded.

"Because I was fracking her!" Carth shouted. Apparently, he didn't have the control over his temper that he thought.

"And you just can't accept that can you. You may have been screwing Revan, but she fracked you over good, poster boy, didn't she!" Atton yelled right back. Carth stood there breathing heavily but said nothing. Atton continued, "Well you're not the only one Revan screwed over. She also screwed the Republic, pumping your brain for secrets and military strategies. The great Admiral Onasi, giving away the Republic during some pillow talk. Is that what eats away at you?"

"Atton, that's enough!" Visas said strongly.

"Let him finish." Carth encouraged still holding tight to the impulse to beat the crap out of Atton.

"Well let me tell you something Admiral, if it wasn't you, then it would have been someone else. But wait, it was you, so based on that, you abuse the one person, who has believed in you since she sat in a training session and heard your name. It's obvious Jaden didn't want you to find out, and now I understand why. A fault on her part? Maybe, but it doesn't give you the right to accuse her of lying, of purposely trying to hurt you." Atton said turning away and taking deep breaths.

"Go on, let's hear the rest."

Atton faced Carth, "What sticks in your craw more, Onasi, that she's beautiful? That she uses the Force? That she continues to look out for you and your son despite how you treat her?" Atton had stopped shouting but his voice still held anger and venom.

"I've heard enough." Visas told both of them as they stared at each other, looking like they were ready to come to blows.

"But he's right, Visas." Carth told her deflatedly. Once again, Atton had hit on every one of the things that fed his anger. "It's all, and none of the things, he said."

"What do you mean?" She asked. Carth broke the stare-down and looked at her.

"I am angry at myself because I was taken for a fool. Whether I should have recognized Revan's true nature, I will never know. It will eat away at me and I honestly can't tell you if I'll ever accept it. Will I ever be able to accept what Jaden has done for me? I don't know that either. It's difficult to accept and acknowledge failure within yourself. It's just as hard to understand, that despite your horrid treatment of someone, they will still stand for you."

"Jaden believes in you, otherwise she wouldn't have done what she has." Visas told him.

_Why does she believe in me?_ "It's more than that." Carth whispered.

"What are you talking about?" Atton asked with a sigh.

"Despite everything, earlier Jaden told the Exile where to find one of the keys to the Valley in exchange for Dustil's life and the others on the Sojourn." Carth said rubbing his forehead.

"And that angers you?" Visas asked with a frown.

Carth sighed, "She wasn't going to tell us. How can anyone help her if she doesn't tell us what is going on?" He asked, his frustration showing clearly.

"Maybe she didn't say anything because you're leaving." Atton told him with narrowed eyes.

"I don't think she would have told you either, Atton." Carth snapped.

"It doesn't matter at this point." Visas told them both, "Jaden is allowed to keep her own counsel on such things." Visas held up her hand. "I know you don't agree with that, Admiral, but you must remember that Jaden has lived her life alone. It has only been in the last few years that she has traveled extensively throughout the Republic. She is use to solitude and keeping her own counsel. Jaden does not know how to deal with others questioning her reasons or her actions."

"So she went to the compound so she wouldn't have to deal with me? Is that what you're saying?" Carth asked.

"Jaden is a very strong woman, Admiral. Your own strength is an equal match for hers and she doesn't know how to deal with you. She has done what she felt was best. What she sees as the right thing to do, and you have slapped her down for it. Even a favored pet becomes disenchanted when abused repeatedly." Visas said in her soft toned manner.

"And then they run away." Carth said with a sigh. "I've got to fix this. I'm going after her."

"Statement: I will come with you, Admiral." HK said.

* * *

Jaden sat amongst the rubble of the former Mandalorian compound. When Vaklu had come for Mandalore, he was ruthless and brutal in his destruction. Very few of the bunkers remained, but it was a reminder of how far the Mandalorians had fallen since the war had started here on Dxun.

"I want to come home." Jaden whispered, looking up at the stars.

_~~ You cannot ~~_

_~~I'm not ready. I don't want to fail, Masters_. ~~

_~~ You will not, Child._ ~~

_~~ But I have. In my desperate act to save him, I did not think of the consequences for the future. You will not tell me if he will die and I will not take what I need because of that. I am not strong enough to face Zared, and even though I have caused Admiral Onasi harm, I will not risk ending his life._ ~~

_~~When the time comes, Child, you will do what is necessary for your survival, the survival of the galaxy._ ~~

_~~ But I will not survive, Masters. You have told me that._ ~~

~~ _You are the Force, Child you will always survive. Yet, survival, for any species requires sacrifice._ ~~

~~_ We have done nothing but cuase him pain and harm. He deserves peace._ ~~ Jaden said.

_~~What peace can be found under the rule of the dark side? Would there be peace for him?_ ~~

"No" Jaden whispered.

~~ _Then you are correct, Child, you have failed._ ~~

Jaden took a deep breath and swallowed back the tears.

_~~ Child, we will tell you one thing to ease the burden you carry. If it is his destiny to die, he will be returned to you._ ~~

Jaden gave a weak smile to the stars, _Thank you._

* * *

Carth and HK arrived at the old compound after only a few minor skirmishes with the local wild life. After searching much of the compound, they found Jaden sitting on some rocks in front of one of the few buildings still standing.

"Why are you here?" Jaden asked as they approached. "I'm done arguing with you, Admiral. I can't . . . handle the pain any more." She told him quietly.

"I'm not here to argue with you. Maybe yell at you for running around the jungle at night . . ."

"I can . . ." Jaden began but he held up a hand to stop her response.

"I know you can take care of yourself, Jaden, but that doesn't mean I can't get upset when you do stupid things like going through the jungle, alone, at night." He said studying her. She was exhausted, he could clearly see it on her face and it was one more thing to lay at his door.

"Why do you care?" She asked with a sigh, resigned to his presence. _At least he brought HK with him,_ she thought.

"HK, why don't you check out the rest of the compound?" Carth told the droid looking over his shoulder.

"Response: Very well, Admiral." The droid said moving away. Carth mentally bolstered his courage and sat down besides Jaden. She scooted away from him. His anger was still poking at her, making her uncomfortable.

"I know my actions of late haven't shown it, but I do care, Jaden. Probably more than I should, but I don't seem to have any control over it." Jaden said nothing anything to that, just continued to stare at the stars overhead. He wasn't overly encouraged but he was here to apologize and that's what he was going to do. "I'm here to apologize. I want to try and get past this . . . chasm that seems to be growing between us."

Jaden looked at him, "I can't . . .fix . . . the truth, Admiral."

"I know that. I've been an ass . . ."

"A galaxy-wide ass." She cut in.

"Sounds like an Atton comment." He said sarcastically. "But I need you to try and understand that it is very difficult for me to wrap my mind around all of this." He said taking a deep breath.

"I do understand, but you kept pushing for the truth . . ."

Carth took her hand, "Jaden, stop, please listen to me. I know that I hurt you by demanding the truth. You were only trying to protect me from the emotional anguish that it brought. What Revan did, that is something I will have to come to terms with. However, I shouldn't have taken it out on you; I shouldn't have blamed you."

"I agree." Jaden said as she tried to take her hand back but Carth held strong.

"Jaden . . ."

"What do you want me to say? You said it yourself you have to deal with this. I can't fix it, I don't know how." Jaden told him, once again, feeling close to tears from the situation and the dull ache within her.

"If I wanted it fixed then I would ask to go back 10 or 12 years and change everything." He said quietly.

"Well I can't do that." She snapped.

Carth sighed and let go of her hand. He reached around and scratched the back of his neck. "I'm not sure I'd want you to anyway." He admitted. Yeah, the last decade or so had been hell, but whos to say that the Force wouldn't have found some other way to screw with his life.

Jaden shook her head. "You just said you wanted to go back."

"And if I went back, managed to save Morgana and Dustil, then I probably would never have met you." He told him frustrated that he couldn't make himself clear.

Jaden looked at him confused and then quickly looked away. Maybe if she let him in she could understand him better. She opened herself to the voice, hoping it would comfort her, and it did, but she could still feel his conflict, his anger, and his shame. They sat in silence for a long time as she absorbed his feelings, before Jaden asked him what he wanted from her.

"Your forgiveness, for my behavior. I want your understanding. I want you to be my friend again." He said quietly.

"I all ready told you I understand and because I do, I forgive you. Okay?" She told him somewhat on edge and uncomfortable.

Carth pinched the bridge of his nose. "Just like that? I don't need to grovel."

"If it will ease your conscience, then by all means beg away." Jaden answered him rather shortly.

"Damn it, Jaden." He swore. "I came to apologize and you're acting like a bitch. If you don't want to accept it, then just say so." He said brusquely.

Jaden stood up and stepped away from him. Carth sighed and looked over at HK who was making a sweep of the perimeter of the compound about fifty yards away. This certainly was_ not_ going the way he thought it might. Carth came to apologize and grovel, if necessary, and while not unexpected, her indifference and bitchy attitude made him realize that he had hurt her more deeply than he thought.

"Jaden, I'm sorry I hurt you. I guess I didn't realize how deeply." He told her quietly. "If you'll let me know, or can let me know, when you're ready to face the Exile, I'll be there for you to . . ."

"No." Jaden interrupted him.

"You're not strong enough . . ."

"I know what I am, Admiral." She barked turning away from him.

"I'm not going to argue with you." Carth told her. Jaden's shoulders slumped and she let out the breath she was holding.

"You said you were having a hard time wrapping your mind around all of this."

"What?" He asked startled out of his own thoughts.

"Wrap your mind around what? That you've behaved badly and need to apologize?" She asked turning to him.

"No, of course not. Jaden, you had never heard of me before, but you save my life, defended me and my son, and continue to do so despite how I behave or however nasty I am." He said with amazement. When Jaden didn't say anything, he went on. "Revan's betrayal and her fall back to the dark side, after she helped the Republic defeat Malak and the Sith . . . then for months after that telling me she . . . only to find out she had joined the Exile and was planning to destroy this Valley of the Jedi."

"But that was her plan all along." Jaden stated matter-of-factly then froze.

"What do you mean?'" Carth asked in a dangerous tone. _Well crap,_ Jaden thought, she put her foot in this one. She took a deep breath and looked at him.

"Revan didn't just betray you, Admiral. She betrayed the Republic and the Jedi as well." She felt the tug of his anger and when he didn't say anything, Jaden went on. "The damage to Revan's mind was not as extensive as the Jedi Council believed. As Force sensitive as Revan was, she taught herself a Sith technique that can mask the amount of injury someone might have suffered. She suspected that Malak might make his move and when the Jedi set the trap, he did. Revan used this method and counted on the fact, and rightly so, that the Jedi Council would use her to find the Star Forge. Revan wasn't after Malak to stop the Sith and end the Jedi Civil war. It was revenge, pure and simple. The Republic had the means and the power to help her extract her revenge against Malak for turning on her. You . . . were an added bonus." Jaden told him, waiting for the explosion of anger.

"How do you know this?" He asked his suspicion as bright as a beacon in the night.

Jaden sighed. "I'm telling you this because you seem to be having trouble accepting my simple act of forgiveness."

"It's the way you did it." He said petulantly.

"No, Admiral, it's because you can't forgive yourself just as simply. And because you can't do that, you are finding it difficult that someone else would." She told him softly.

"If I get this right, you're saying I shouldn't blame myself for not recognizing that Revan had fallen back to the dark side?" He asked a little uncertain.

"First off, Admiral, how do you recognize what you don't even see? Secondly, if you could see it, you would have known that Revan was never redeemed. Admiral, she always belonged to the dark side." She told him, still waiting for his explosion.

Carth dropped his head to his hands and began rubbing his temples. "So my blissfully idiotic state of . . ." He couldn't say the word love, or lust, "Kept me from seeing her true nature."

"Admiral," Jaden said with a sigh, "Do not blame yourself for your feelings." She went back and sat beside him. "Give me your hand." Jaden held out hers and Carth took it hesitantly. Jaden knew she shouldn't do this, but she felt it was important that he understand. "Close your eyes," she said quietly, "and empty your mind." When Jaden was satisfied that Carth was ready, she whispered a few words and faded from view. "Open your eyes, Admiral." She said, her voice echoing in his head. He slowly opened his eyes to find the jungle alive with color in the darkness. He began to resist and stiffen.

~~ _Calm yourself. What do you see? ~~_

"I . . . I'm blue." He whispered looking down. He looked beside him but he was alone. "Jaden?"

~~ Blue is the light side of the Force." Her voice whispered through his mind. "A Jedi guardian, a soldier, defender of the peace. Your saber reflects that status. Find HK. ~~

"He's . . . red . . . sort of."

_~~ A sign of the dark side. Because Revan built him, he bears her mark. ~~_

"This is incredible." He whispered shaking his head in wonder. "The jungle . . . there is red and black?" He said still amazed at what he was seeing, and still puzzled as to why he couldn't find Jaden."

_~~ The predators of the night and the echoes, the wounds, in the Force caused by the Mandalorian War. ~~_ She told him.

"Will they ever heal?" He asked, "The wounds? Will the echoes be silenced?"

_~~One day. ~~_ Her voice sighed on the wind.

"Visas and Atton?"

~~ _Stretch out with your mind._ ~~

Carth took a deep breath and pictured the Ebon Hawk. He saw Visas in her cabin meditating, a faint blue aura around her. Atton and T3 were playing Pazaak in the main hold. They too, emanated a blue aura. It was so real, Carth felt he could reach out and touch them.

~~ _Enough, Child._ ~~ Whispered on the breeze.

"What was that?" Carth asked as the image of the Ebon Hawk faded.

_~~ Shh. Close your eyes. ~~_ Jaden told him then waited several moments before she materialized beside him again. She was drained from using that much power but she felt curiously complete. "Now do you understand why you could not see Revan for what she was?"

"Yeah." Carth said opening his eyes. "But why couldn't the Council see it?"

"It's a powerful technique they have not learned." _Nor would they ever, _she added silently.

"Why couldn't I see you?" He asked looking at their joined hands.

_Because I physically wasn't here, _but she didn't tell him that. Instead, she gave him a sheepish grin. "You were looking through me, so to speak." Jaden wasn't about to tell him that she had pulled Carth into her world, so that he had, actually became a part of the Force.

Carth looked at her with a raised brow. Jaden shook her head. "If I tell you that it is too difficult to explain, will you accept that? The point of this is that you cannot blame yourself for what you could not see."

After a moment of thought, Carth told her, "All right, I'll accept that."

"But?" Jaden asked.

Carth thought for a moment then shook his head. "No buts."

"I'm sorry, Admiral, for everything. My intent was never to harm you." Jaden said quietly. She doubted Carth would ever understand how much that apology covered, but it was the best she could do at this time.

Carth squeezed her hand and smiled. "I know. I demanded the truth and that's what I got in all its ugliness. I still need to forgive myself and you have helped with that by making me understand what I couldn't know. There is one more thing I would ask of you though."

"What?" The one word question held a lot of speculation.

"It would help if you stopped calling me Admiral, and use my name." He said.

Jaden looked at him from beneath her lashes and gave him an impish grin, "I can do that . . . Onasi."

Carth sighed as he released her hand, put his arm around Jaden's shoulder, and pulled her close.

"Does this mean we're friends again." He said as he wrapped his other arm around her, embracing her.

Jaden felt the tension drain from them she welcomed his strength and the voice quieted within her.

"At least until I piss you off again." Jaden told him. She felt Carth's chuckle.

"There is that." He answered, pulling her closer and resting his chin on her head. "Maybe we should vow not to argue, huh?"

It was Jaden's turn to chuckle.

"We should head back. It looks like a storm is moving in." He said as he watched the sky darken and a flash of lightning streak across the night sky.

"I love storms."

"Yeah, until you're wet and cold." He said with a snort flashing on a memory of Morgana. They had been at the beach on Telos when a storm came in. She had claimed the same thing until it started rain. Curious he would remember that.

"Not a problem." She said shifting in his arms so that her back leaned against his chest. She wrapped his arms around her middle as the first drops of rain reached them. "Embodiment has its advantages." Jaden added as she moved her hands in an arching motion. The rain began falling in earnest, but they remained dry.

"Neat trick. What about HK, won't he rust?" He asked amazed and sarcastically.

"Oh, all right." Jaden waved one hand, and although Carth had to squint, he could see the rain falling around, but not on the droid as he wandered around the deserted camp.

"Is this what you did growing up? Learn how to make . . . invisible tents?" He asked softly. She was warm and comfortable in his arms and he didn't want to lose the moment, so he pulled her closer.

"I had to have something to do in my spare time. Drove the masters nuts. Besides, not everything connected to the Force must be serious and there's not a lot of storms in the valley, smart-ass, and since I like them, I taught myself."

"At least you didn't call me Admiral."

Jaden put her hands over his. "Can I ask you something?" Carth nodded. "Why did you send Visas away?" She asked him. "You would have been a great guardian."

"It's not what I wanted and I sensed that Visas had taught me what I needed to know. What you wanted me to know. Besides, the Force hasn't exactly been good to my life over the years." He told her. Jaden winced. "What?"

"Do you wish I hadn't saved you?" She asked softly.

"No." He sighed. "I know the Jedi and the Force do good things, are capable of good things. It's just not who I am."

"You're one of the best men I know." Jaden told him quietly. _Despite all I have done to you._

"Thank you. However, being a Force user was never my destiny, was it?"

"No, it wasn't." She said knowing that his destiny had been, and would be, changed by her actions.

"I'm happy being a reluctant war hero and stalwart soldier." Carth said echoing her own words to her. "It's how I can do the most good. Sometimes it's not enough, but I do it." He added softly.

Jaden allowed the sound of his deep voice to relax her. She let her eyes close as she listened to him.

"Besides, if I had continued to learn the ways of the Jedi, wouldn't that have had an effect on your balance?"

"Hmm? Not as long as it was Visas who trained you. If Bastila . . ." Jaden stopped as the woman in question appeared in her mind.

"Jaden? What is it? What about Bastila?" Carth asked letting her go as she sat up and turned to him.

"She's alive! Bastila is buried in the sub-level."

"What?"

"Contact General Lavek. Tell him Bastila is in the enclave sub-level, but they need to hurry." She told him urgently.

"Are you sure?" He asked pulling the communicator from his jacket pocket.

"Yes. There are others down there also." She told him focusing on a sot just over his shoulder. Carth didn't question her any further and contacted Kwyn, who assured him he would relay the information immediately.

"Carth," she sighed, "I'm sorry I didn't think of it earlier. My sight conscience ability." Jaden hung her head and Carth pulled her back into his arms.

"It's all right. They'll find Bastila and the others in time."

"There was so much going on . . ." She said settling against him.

"Jaden, Kwyn will find them. What brought it on?" He asked.

"When I mentioned her name, you must have pictured Bastila in your mind, and since I was touching you I could see her."

"What do you mean?"

"I told you my ability only works with those people I have met. I've never met Bastila, but you have. I could have told you hours ago that she was alive, that there were other survivors." Jaden told him.

"You've told me now, so it will be fine."

_But it wouldn't be_, Jaden thought, _not for many of them_. She tried to bring up the future, but couldn't do it. She wasn't strong enough, even being in Carth's presence so she stopped trying. She sensed that Bastila would live, but she wasn't sure, so she told him nothing.

They sat in silence after that, watching the sky come alive with lightning and listening to the rain. HK would wander by as he patrolled the perimeter, occasionally firing at one of the predators of the night. It was clear to both of them that HK really enjoyed the job as an assassination droid. HK-47's personality made him seem almost human and that made HK psychopathic to Carth's way of thinking, but then the droid would say or do something that made HK sound very wise. He didn't dwell on the fact that HK sometimes exercised independent thought, since, in this instance he was the beneficiary of it, but it wasn't normal droid behavior either. T3 was just quirky, but not out to kill anything that moved.

Carth looked down to find Jaden's eyes closed and her breathing deep and even. She was asleep. He knew it had cost her, what she had shown him tonight, but it was incredible. As an embodier, he asked himself, did she see that way all the time? And where was she while Jaden showed him the alignment of those around him? Although he didn't always act like it, he wasn't an idiot, and he knew there was more to Jaden's power than what she led on, even having given some of it to him to restore his life.

He fleetingly wondered if it would be worth the effort, and the argument, to find out, but he doubted it. Carth knew what his anger would do to her and, being honest with himself, he didn't want to hurt her anymore.

Maybe it was time to heal as well. While he was still devastated by Revan's betrayal, Carth did recognize that it wasn't his fault. Revan had deceived them all and he honestly couldn't have known that Revan had never left the dark side. It didn't take away the pain, but it did ease it to the point of being bearable.

Carth supposed that was for the best because he knew when Jaden left he would feel empty. Not just because she would take back her power, but also because she had filled the place in him left empty by Morgana's death. He had survived that, and he would survive Jaden's leaving. He needed to lock these feelings away, but it wouldn't be easy, especially when his desire stirred to life when Jaden stretched in his arms as she awoke. When she opened her eyes and looked at him, it spiked through his system.

"I'm sorry," she told him in a husky voice, "I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"Sleep seems to be a luxury of late, don't worry about it." He said quietly while he studied her.

"What is it? Is something wrong?" Jaden asked becoming uncomfortable under his scrutiny.

"Nothing." Carth whispered and looked away. Jaden raised her hand to the side off his face and turned it back to her.

"There's something, Onasi, what is it?"

Carth tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, leaned forward, and captured her lips. When Jaden gasped, he took advantage of her parted lips and deepened the kiss.

Jaden melted against him as the storm, raging around them, seemed in drive his hunger to a peak. "Jaden," he murmured trailing his lips along her jaw to the sensitive spot behind her ear. "Why do you do this to me?"

"Carth . . ." Jaden moaned and tipped her head to give him greater access. The rapid fire from HK's blaster rifle penetrated Carth's lust hazed brain. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry." He told her, removing his hand from her side and smoothing the shirt, his shirt, back into place.

"What's wrong? Have I done something, not done something?" Jaden asked the absence of his hand on her flesh acute.

"You deserve better." Carth told her kissing her forehead.

"Better?" Jaden leaned back and gave him a skeptical look. It all felt pretty 'better' to her. The electricity he had brought to her body still flowed easily within her, making her feel edgy and wanting more.

"I want time with you . . ."

"Time?" She squeaked.

" . . . Not a quickly in a rain storm with an assassin droid as an audience."

"We can go inside." Jaden suggested tracing his jaw.

Carth shook his head as he ran his thumb over her parted lips. "I want hours, Jaden.

Jaden swallowed the lump of desire and anticipation that had built in her throat. "Oh." She breathed looking into his eyes, still dark with desire. When Jaden touched her tongue to his lips, Carth groaned and pulled her close, his hand guiding her had to his shoulder.

"Don't look at me like that." He told her in a pained voice then sighed, "Why is it feast or famine between us?" He asked struggling to tamp down on his desire.

"What are you talking about?" Jaden asked as she nestled closer to him.

"If we're not at each other's throats we're at each other's body. We need to talk about something else."

Jaden smiled at his aggrieved tone. "I like being at your body." She told him impishly.

"I like it too, but HK is not an audience I want."

"Very well, what do you want to talk about?" She asked.

"Mandalore. He's enough to cool off the hottest super-nova."

Jaden chuckled but silently agreed that they needed to change the subject. She also knew she needed to move away from him. Carth was reluctant to let her go but he did and she moved beside him. "When was the last time you saw Canderous?" She asked.

Well that question killed Carth's ardor. "Five years ago. I know Revan abandoned him at the edge of the galaxy. After that, I didn't hear anything until the Exile returned. That's when I learned he was back on Dxun and had taken on the title of Mandalore."

"Why didn't the Republic go after him for trying to rebuild the Mandalorians?"

"We didn't know and when I learned of it I convinced them to take a wait and see attitude. Canderous had helped defeat Malak. I saw no reason to pursue him."

Jaden said quietly, "She didn't just abandon him. Revan broke him, injured him, and tried to destroy him."

"Why?" He asked resigned to the fact that whenever Revan's name is mentioned, it would be something bad.

"Because he is a Mandalorian. It didn't matter to her that Canderous had helped her extract her revenge on Malak. In a way, Revan held Canderous responsible for Malak's betrayal."

"If it wasn't for the Mandalorian war leading to the Jedi Civil war, and the Council's trap, then Malak wouldn't have turned on her. But that's the way of the Sith; when you're ready, I guess, you challenge your master, kill them, take over." He added remembering his own thoughts earlier about blaming the Mandalorians.

"A vicious cycle to be sure, one that perpetuates death. He's a changed man, Carth. Even though the Mandalorians lost, they honor the battle they take pride in that. I know it's not something you agree with, but Revan stripped Canderous of his honor. He is embittered, a shell of what he once was. He has suffered further indignities at the hands of Vaklu as well."

"Why are you telling me this? Actually, maybe I should ask, what connection do you have to Canderous besides keeping your balance in the Force?"

When Jaden didn't answer him right away, Carth sighed. "You found him, didn't you?" He stated.

"No. Actually, he found me." Jaden told him. It wasn't terribly far from the truth considering Canderous was swearing the Force to perdition and back for what Revan had done. His anger was so great that Jaden couldn't ignore his cries of pain and suffering.

"I only met him once. It was after a freighter had found his escape pod drifting in space. They healed him the best they could and took him to Tatooine." Jaden had been the one to direct the freighter's captain to Canderous's coordinates and take him to Tatooine. Once there, Jaden had found Canderous in the local cantina. He was in bad shape, but Jaden had managed to convince him that the course of action to take was to rebuild the Mandalorian clans. To make the name of Mandalore mean something again. To restore the honor of the Mandalorians. She knew the Mandalorians would never be the force they once were in the galaxy, and that's one reason why she had done it. The other, well, Revan had caused enough suffering.

"So I shouldn't expect a warm welcome." Carth stated.

"None of us should, I suppose."


	14. Chapter 13

When Jaden awoke the next morning, she found herself on a cot inside the bunker. She turned her head and found Carth asleep on a bunk across the room. Even in sleep, he was ruggedly handsome, although his features softer, they were no less masculine. Last night he told her he wanted hours to make love to her and that idea sent a thrill through Jaden. She had it bad for him that was for sure. Jaden knew the Jedi Order frowned on emotional entanglements, believing that passion could lead to the dark side. The Midiclorians had never cautioned her against these kinds of feelings and Jaden knew many Jedi kept their love for others a secret. Was this one of the Jedi teachings that had grown antiquated? To Jaden, denying ones feelings, keeping them bottled up, seemed like a quicker way to the dark side than sharing them, letting them go.

~~ _You are not a Jedi, child._ ~~

~~ _Is that why you haven't cautioned me about my feelings for him? ~~_

_~~ Partly. ~~_

_~~ Partly? ~~_

_~~ Your thought is a compelling one that perhaps the Jedi teachings on emotional ties are antiquated, but valid in some respects. ~~_

Taking a child from their family,Jaden thought, ~~_There is much to learn and the sooner a child starts learning, the better they will be. Nevertheless, some children are not chosen when they come of age. ~~ _She added.

~~ _And that seems cruel to you? ~~_

_~~ Yes and no. ~~ _

She remembered how much she hated the Valley, and her mother for leaving her when she first arrived. As she learned over the years, she began to understand the reasons why she had been alone. It wasn't just a matter of learning what she was, it was learning who she was and what she could do. ~~ _If someone is going to use my power, I want the best. Nevertheless, even the best fall to the dark side, Masters, ~~_ Jaden thought of Revan.

_~~ And their passion can betray others. ~~_

"Talking to yourself now?" Carth asked lying on his side, his arm his pillow.

Jaden turned her head and smiled. "Only composing poetry of your heroic deeds," she told him. Carth rolled his eyes and scoffed.

"Interjection: Master," HK appeared in the doorway, "The meat bag Jedi and Visas are approaching."

Jaden rolled her eyes. She was going to have to reprogram this whole 'meatbag' reference out of the droid. "Thank you, HK. Maybe they brought breakfast."

"Hopefully Atton remembered the plans to the prison," Carth said sitting up.

"Excuse me, the plans to the prison?" Jaden asked him flabbergasted. Carth winced at the tone in her voice.

"I, ah, didn't mention I had Kwyn get me the plans, did I."

Jaden stood up, "No, Onasi, you didn't," she sighed.

"At least she didn't call me 'Admiral', HK."

"Well, I'm about to," Jaden shook her head. "Do you have any idea how much trouble . . ."

"It wasn't any trouble," he told her with a smile. Jaden ignored his comment with narrowed eyes.

" . . . You have caused yourself."

"What trouble have I caused?" He demanded to know with a frown. It drove him crazy that she refused to see she needed help. She was determined to go it alone. Was she just stubborn, or did she use it to mask her vulnerability.

"Damn it, Onasi!"

And that's what Atton and Visas walked in on. "Well, I see you haven't solved your squabble," Atton quipped.

"It's a new one." Carth snapped before turning back to Jaden. "Why are you upset that I got the plans for you, Jaden? I thought it would be helpful."

"It is, Onasi," she said with a sigh, "and I appreciate it, but you can't help me with this." Jaden told him as she began to wander the room.

"Oh? And why the hell not?" He asked.

"I don't know, Admiral Carth Onasi, one of the highest ranking officers in the Republic Navy, hell the Republic. Reluctant war hero, stalwart soldier . . . "

"You're forgetting poster boy and do-gooder," Atton added with an innocent grin.

Carth gave her an unsure look, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"The Jedi Council and the Senate, not to mention your superiors, are not going to look kindly on one of their Admiral's committing a prison break. Regardless of the reason."

"That's a load of garbage . . ." Visas interrupted him.

"But she is correct, Admiral. When this gets out, and if you are there, Vaklu will scream treason. He will say that you masterminded the plot to overthrow him."

"Ah, hell. If I was going to overthrow Vaklu, I wouldn't stage a prison break; I would set HK loose in Iziz."

"Enthusiasm: Can I Master?" The droid asked excited at the prospect of indiscriminate slaughter.

"No!" Jaden shouted at HK then looked at Carth, "Stop getting HK's hopes up." Carth shook his head and gave her a wry smile. "I mean it, Onasi, you can't be anywhere near that prison." Jaden added, "I welcome your help, but I don't want you to jeopardize your career over this."

He thought for a moment, weighing the pros and cons over arguing and decided against it. It wasn't worth the effort, or the pain it might cause Jaden. He reluctantly agreed that she was correct, but to his way of thinking, it might be a quicker path to his retirement. "Okay. You win this round. I'll stay away from the prison."

"And Iziz?" She asked knowing him well. He nodded.

"And Iziz. Can I at least pilot the get-away ship?"

"You can be such a smart-ass, Onasi." Carth grinned and winked at her.

"Statement: Master, I believe the Mandalorians have arrived." HK told the group. Atton and Visas left to go meet them, the droid on their heels.

Jaden walked over to Carth and put her arms around him. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, but you might want to hold off on that thought. It's been a while since I piloted the Ebon Hawk." He said pulling her closer.

"It's just a battle cruiser on a much smaller scale," Jaden quipped leaning back to look at him with a smile.

"Now who's the smart-ass." He said before he gave her a soft kiss.

* * *

"I don't think this is going very well," Atton said from his seat on a pile of rubble. Carth stopped his pacing and asked why. "Because she keeps shaking her had and frowning." Atton answered. Carth looked over at Jaden and Kelborn and sure enough, she was shaking her head quite often.

Jaden had been talking to Kelborn for about fifteen minutes away from the rest of the group. He had been pacing, Atton sitting and eating and Visas watching them both. What was taking so long, Carth couldn't be sure, but he wasn't comfortable with Jaden speaking to Kelborn alone but he didn't have much choice. When the Mandalorians had arrived, the tension among the group had grown when he finally left the bunker to join the others. Carth did not want to jeopardize Jaden's meeting so he had stayed out of it and didn't protest when Kelborn told Jaden he would only speak to her alone.

In the mean time, he checked in with Kwyn to learn they were still trying to reach the sublevel of the academy on Dantooine, so he had no word on Bastila. Carth also learned that a sith cruiser had been spotted near Tatooine. Knowing why it was there, he told Kwyn the reason for its presence. There was dead silence, then a sigh.

"Why?" Kwyn asked again unsure he heard correctly the first time.

"To protect Dustil and the Sojourn."

"But . . ."

"Don't over think it, Kwyn, you'll drive yourself crazy. Trust me on that. Keep an eye on the situation and let me know if it changes."

"Very well, Admiral. Lavek out."

Since that conversation, Carth had been pacing, deep in his own thoughts. Atton had tried to engage him in a conversation about Jaden, but Carth only frowned at him and said nothing.

"Something is wrong," Visas stated quietly.

"What?" Carth asked coming over to her as he watched the group.

"No kidding." Atton said at the same time. Jaden was striding toward them, her agitation clearly visible.

"What is it? What is wrong?" Visas asked.

"Besides him being impossible and unreasonable?" Jaden snapped then sighed. "Sorry," she mumbled as she rubbed her temples.

"Headache?" Atton asked watching her closely. Jaden gave him a quick frown and nodded.

"I take it he wants something?" Carth asked.

"I'm sure it won't be a problem, Onasi, " Jaden said sarcastically. "He wants a guarantee that the Republic will defend them if Vaklu decides to come looking for them because Mandalore escaped."

Carth's left eyebrow shot up and Atton chuckled. Jaden shook her head, "I told Kelborn you would never agree to that and he knows it." Carth still didn't respond so Jaden went on, "I did tell him that I might be able to get the Republic to agree to a relocation, but there was no guarantee."

"And?" Visas asked also watching Jaden. She kept rubbing her temple and Visas knew that was not a good sign. Jaden's control over her precarious balance was slipping and Atton's light side aura wasn't helping to offset the drain of the dark side of the planet. They needed to leave and soon.

"And . . . that was shot down immediately. The word has gotten out that Dxun is the home base of the Mandalorians and more and more of them are showing up here all the time. They won't move." Jaden answered forcing aside the pain in her head.

"I take it Vaklu doesn't know how many Mandalorians are in his backyard." Carth said and Jaden only shrugged.

"Is this a good thing?" Atton asked.

"I suppose a few less mercenaries and thugs in the galaxy can't be all bad," Visas interjected. Carth chuckled.

"Look, the best I can do is tell the commander here to keep an eye on things and let me know if anything changes or if Vaklu gets some bright idea about coming here. I'll get word to the Mandalorians."

"Kelborn also wants a guarantee that the Republic won't hold Mandalore, that he'll be returned to them," Jaden said.

"That's fine," Carth told her with a sigh.

"That's crazy!" Atton said looking over at Kelborn. "If Mandalore comes back here, then Vaklu is sure to come after him. It's asking for trouble."

"But not if the Republic agrees to defend them." Visas told Atton.

"That's the idea," Jaden mumbled as her shoulders tensed. _Just a little longer._

"Well they better have their stealth field generators charged up because I've already crossed the line with my offer." He told her with a frown as he noticed her tension.

"Actually, I think that's the least of our problems." Jaden said instead of telling Carth this is why he should _not_ have come.

"What, they want you to overthrow Vaklu while we're there?" Atton asked. Jaden looked at him quickly and with surprise. Atton rolled his eyes, "Sith spit."

"The Mandalorian asked that?" Visas spoke up, her own surprise evident.

"Jaden," Carth warned.

"No!" She told them. "Kelborn did say, however, that there are supporters of Queen Talia that are planning . . . plotting something to overthrow Vaklu." Jaden added waving her hands

"What," Carth asked suspiciously, "are they planning or plotting?" Jaden studied him for a moment before telling him she didn't know.

"The prison break, " Atton began, "they might see the chaos from that as an opportunity to make their move."

"They would be killed," Visas said.

"No, they would be slaughtered." Jaden spoke quietly squeezing her eyes shut and grimacing. The image swirling through her mind was not a pretty one.

"Jaden?" Carth asked watching her closely. She was clearly in pain and trying valiantly to keep it at bay.

"The Queen will return to power, but now is not the time," Jaden told him as she battled through the pounding in her head.

"Jaden, you need to leave." Visas told her. Jaden shook her head.

"I'll be fine, Visas." She said moving closer to Atton, who reached out and took her hand.

"She's right though," Atton told her, "A light side hit from me isn't going to make it better. Frankly, I'm surprised you lasted this long. You were here all night."

_I was also whole for a part of that time, _she thought.

"I need Mandalore."

"At the moment, we need to get you away from this tomb," Carth told her not sure how he felt about Atton holding her hand. It was childish, but there it was, nonetheless. "Stay here." He headed for Kelborn.

"Onasi!" Jaden called after him but he kept walking. "Visas go after him," she added with a sigh.

Visas reached the two men in time to hear curt greetings and Carth tell Kelborn his offer. She stood beside the Admiral quietly. She noticed his tension and slow simmering anger. Visas wasn't sure if it was with Jaden for pushing herself so close to the brink or the situation itself. Either way, if he was not careful, he could cause more problems.

"It seems to me, Admiral Onasi," Kelborn told him, "that you need us so I would say we hold the cards."

"Actually, you don't. You see, I can walk into that prison and take Mandalore on my own authority and you would never see him again." Carth said with a smirk.

"Admiral," Visas said quietly. Carth stepped closer to Kelborn and lowered his voice.

"The Mandalorians aren't the only ones that can lay waste to entire planets," he said feeling a spike of anger flow through him. "I can also order the Republic fleet to desecrate this moon. There isn't a stealth field generator that would save you. I can do to you what the Mandalorians did to millions during the war." He threatened. On the other hand, was it a promise?

"Admiral Onasi," Visas said strongly trying to get him to stop taunting Kelborn, "This won't help Jaden." She had felt the spike of the dark side within him and it scared her.

"So what's it going to be? A simple little diversion and your leader back or annihilation." Carth asked.

"How do I know you'll keep your word?" Kelborn asked after a few tense moments of silence. He knew the Admiral could do everything he said he would.

"My word is my honor. You help Jaden and I'll arrange it so you know what, if anything, Vaklu is planning and return Mandalore to you."

"What would you have us do?" Kelborn asked after a few anxious moments.

* * *

Carth stayed out of the planning session for this prison break insanity. He really could have just walked in and taken Canderous into custody, but Jaden had been adamant about him staying out of it. He didn't care that her reasons had been valid; he just didn't like the idea of her doing this.

As they headed back to the Ebon Hawk, it was clear that Jaden was losing the battle to keep the pain of the dark side at bay and when she stumbled for the third time, Carth picked her up and carried her the rest of the way. She had protested for effect but then laid her head on his shoulder and kept quiet.

"I'll get us in the air," Atton said with concern when they reached the ship. Carth nodded and took Jaden to her quarters while the others prepared for take off.

"Why are you so bossy?" Jaden asked softly while he laid her on the bunk.

"Because I'm an Admiral." He moved to take off her boots.

"I think you surprised Kelborn. I don't know what you said but I think you gained his respect."

"Yippee, my life is complete," he mumbled dropping one boot and moving to remove the other.

"Carth . . ."

He dropped the other boot and looked at her. Jaden thought she saw surprise flash in his eyes but she couldn't be sure. "Carth? I was expecting an 'Admiral' at least," he said sitting beside her. Jaden gave him a weak smile and took his hand.

"Thank you," she whispered and then took a deep breath, her first easy one in hours, as the Ebon Hawk took off.

"You're welcome. Now, get some sleep, sweetheart." He doubted she heard him. Jaden was already asleep.

* * *

"How is she?" Visas asked when Carth entered the bridge.

"Sleeping," he told her. "We need to find a place to lay low." He added as he checked the Navicomputer.

"Huh?" Atton spoke turning to look at Carth over his shoulder.

"After we spring Canderous, we need to find some place where we can lay low for a while." Carth looked at Visas, "She's deteriorating, physically, isn't she?" He asked.

"I believe so, yes. The drain from the temple was stronger than she believed."

"Well hell, why didn't she say something?" Atton demanded.

"Jaden needs Mandalore. He will . . . slow down the process," Visas said but didn't add that she hoped so at least.

"Slow down? Slow down?" Atton asked and couldn't quiet hide the fear in his voice. "What do you mean?"

"Atton, as long as Jaden is not whole, her physical state will continue to decline." Visas told them. "I'm sorry, Admiral."

Carth tapped the grip of his blaster with his thumb. "It's okay," Carth said with a half wave of understanding. "I'm assuming that rest in some . . . neutral place would help her?"

_Being whole,_ Visas thought, _was the only thing that would help Jaden._ Her stubbornness about not taking her power wasn't just affecting Jaden any longer, she suspected, but the Admiral as well.

"She would never agree to that," Atton told them.

"Hey, five, six against one. I'm sure Canderous would love some fresh air." Carth answered.

"We could go to Spira. Beaches, not to many people this time of year. We could get supplies, lie in the sun, and play some Pazaak. What do you think?" Atton suggested.

"Is it neutral enough?" Carth asked thinking about the resort planet.

"The only thing neutral enough is going to be an asteroid," Atton answered derisively. Carth nodded his agreement with Atton's suggestion.

"What about Mandalore? Surely Vaklu will have alerted the Republic systems to be looking for him, wouldn't he?" Visas asked.

"Spira is independent. They don't belong to the Republic."

"We could probably find some out of the way place to land," Atton suggested.

"Very well. We could all use a rest, I suppose," she said.

"Besides, who knows what looking for these keys is going to be like," Atton added with a tired sigh.

Carth nodded, "The keys. What do you know about them?"

"Only what the legend says. There are three keys that when put together reveal the location of the Valley of the Jedi," Visas told him. "Simply stated, thousands of years ago, six men of varying species, the first gifted with the Force, were brought to the Valley to learn its ways. These men represented all that was virtuous and immoral in humanity."

"The light and the dark," Atton mumbled.

"Yes," Visas answered and then continued. "We would like to think that the Midiclorians would only teach the light side, but, as with all things there must be balance. Anyway, it is said that once they were taught the power the Force possessed, they were paired off, one light one dark and tasked with teaching the power of the Force to others. The light taught people to use it for good, to help the troubled people of the galaxy that had lost hope for the future and their survival. The dark taught people how to use it to get their way, and to be selfish.

As part of the quest, each pair was given a key that would reveal the location of the Valley of the Jedi when combined and told to hide them, which they did. The light side thought to use the symbol of the keys for hope and redemption. The dark side wanted the keys hidden so that they would not have to share the power the Force gave them."

"That explains the Sith's stinginess," Atton said.

"There are several variations on what happened next, but the gist of it is these men hid the keys, for the reasons I just said, so that one person or government could not access the power of the galaxy for themselves. Once that was done, they went their separate ways."

"Peace and prosperity isn't a good thing." Atton asked sarcastically.

"But it means more when you have to work for it. It makes it that much better, sweeter," Carth answered. "We learn and grow through adversity, the light at the end of tunnel driving us to succeed, to gain the reward. If you're constantly dealing in darkness, it beats you down until you either give up or strike back."

"Okay," Atton agreed remembering his own path to the light side. "So if this is all about balance, it's safe to assume one key represents the light side of the Force and the other the dark side. What would the third represent?"

Carth, fascinated by the legend, thought that perhaps he should pay more attention to what Dustil did all day for the Jedi Council.

"As I said, there are several variations of the legend," Visas said with a smile. "No one knows for sure what the third may represent."

"Maybe it means nothing," Atton shrugged. "Just there to throw everyone off."

Carth looked at him and nodded slowly. "Ajunta Pall."

"Huh?"

"When we were in the tomb of Ajunta Pall on Korriban, Revan had to pick between three swords to determine which one belonged to the Sith Lord. If she chose wrong, we would have died."

"So you think I'm right." Atton's eyes lit up pleasantly surprised.

Carth gave him a wry smile, "Don't let it go to your head."

Visas shook hers, "But how do you know which one you found? This, according to the legend, took place long before the appearance of the Sith. While it is certainly plausible I'm not entirely sure it's correct."

"At least the Sith we know. We could probably assume that this was the beginning of the True Jedi and the True Sith since you said they separated after hiding the keys. Either way, we'll need to find them." Carth nodded.

"Yeah, and now we're down to two since Jaden gave Zared one of the locations."

"Tatooine. When I checked in with Kwyn, he told me a Sith cruiser had been spotted near Tatooine." Carth said.

"Tatooine?" Atton asked, "That sand pit? It's the galaxy's litter box."

"It was also the location of one of the Star Maps," Carth told them with a chuckle. It wasn't his favorite place either.

"Dantooine was another, wasn't it?" Visas asked wondering if there was a pattern.

"It was," Carth answered absently with a nod as he studied the navigation charts.

"So you think the keys to the Valley of the Jedi are linked to the locations of the Star Maps that Revan and Malak found." Atton asked. Carth thought for a moment, and then shook his head.

"I don't think so. Revan would have made that part of her quest. I mean if she had known they were linked, Revan would have taken them," Carth said staring off in the distance.

"What do you mean, Admiral?" Visas asked.

"Huh? Sorry Visas, it's too long a story and something Jaden had told me." He shook his head to clear it. "If Revan had known, we wouldn't be chasing them down."

"True," Atton agreed. "It's pretty clear from that hologram T3 is carrying, that she still thought the Valley of the Jedi was only a legend."

Carth wandered to the window and looked out. They weren't going very fast, so Jaden could rest for a while. A thoughtful thing on Atton's part, he reluctantly acknowledged. "But what is he looking for? Are they actual keys to a box that has the map? Are they like the star maps, each revealing a little more information? Tablets? Parchments? Holograms? Ancient Jedi artifacts?"

"Why don't we ask her?" Atton said making it sound so simple. "I mean, she would know, it's her home."

"You need a map to find home, Atton." Carth grinned at him. Atton rolled his eyes but he looked sheepish.

"Jaden may know the locations, but I doubt she knows what to look for." Visas said thinking about the legend.

"I agree," Carth told her. "She doesn't need the map. But, I'm not so sure she knows where they are either." He said as he wandered around the bridge.

"Why do you say that?" Atton asked.

"If you had a secret, you wouldn't leave clues lying around, would you?"

"No. I'd go find them all." Atton stated.

"Exactly. If the Valley is such a great secret, why leave the evidence out there for someone to find. If Jaden knows where they are, why not go collect them, especially now that there is a threat."

"Because she doesn't know where all of them are," Visas said in her quiet manner.

"So, you're saying Jaden only knows about Tatooine. That's why she gave the location to Zared? Revealing it was no big deal," Atton said with a frown. If his theory was right, that one of the keys meant nothing, could it be that Jaden gave him that one?

Carth reached up to rub his neck while shaking his head. "I think we are on our way to get the second key."

"Onderon?" Atton asked.

"Mandalore," Visas answered. "You believe Mandalore is the second key."

"That's insane, Onasi. Jaden needs Mandalore to maintain her balance," Atton said not believing a word of it.

"Does she?" Carth asked.

"No. Anyone leaning towards the dark side would have worked." Visas answered with resignation.

"Canderous probably has no idea, but I'm willing to bet that he knows where one of the keys is," Carth told them.

"Alright, I'll buy that," Atton said to him, "But what about the third key? Regardless of what we think, it has to play a part in unlocking something."

"Only because you don't know which ones you have," Visas answered. "Even if General Zared found another key, he would only have two. The map to the valley is still incomplete because he needs the third key to determine if he has the correct ones."

"So Jaden is accomplishing two things at once. Maintaining her balance . . ." Atton sighed.

"And protecting the location of one of the keys," Carth finished for him.

The bridge fell silent for several minutes, each reflecting on the information.

"How the hell, "Atton began, "did Revan ever think she could pull one over on you, Onasi."

Carth gave him a half smile.

"So what happens now?" Visas asked.

"I'm guessing, but I would say, that as soon as Zared learns of Mandalore's escape he's going to figure it out as well," Carth replied.

"Then come after Jaden." Atton muttered. "How long do you think we have?"

Carth shrugged, "A week, maybe two. I suppose it depends on what Zared finds on Tatooine. It could lead him to the next key."

"This does him no good, without your buddy, Canderous." Atton said watching Carth frown at him but he nodded in agreement.

"Well, we're coming up on Onderon. One thing at a time, at this point," Atton turned back to pilot them in.

"One more thing," Carth said, "I don't want Jaden to know what we talked about."

"Is that wise?" Visas asked surprised he would say such a thing after all the arguments of late.

"If she knows what we talked about, she'll become distracted. I'll tell her when this is over." Carth answered.

* * *

"Oh, and whatever you do, _do not_ turn off T3," Atton was telling Carth when Jaden came on to the bridge. She managed a couple hours of sleep before Visas had awoken her to tell Jaden they were approaching Onderon. Jaden heard Carth chuckle.

"Missing a chunk of your ass?" He asked.

"Yeah, well I'm still not convinced that tying the ship to the droid and vice versa is such a good thing," Atton told him with a frown.

"It's called protection, Atton and maybe one day you'll understand." Jaden said as she moved fully into the room.

"I'll go get my stuff together," he said instead of rehashing their earlier discussion.

"How are you feeling?" Carth asked when they were alone.

"Better," she told him, but she was still tired. "I, ah, half expected to find Canderous here when I woke up."

He studied her for a moment before answering. "The thought crossed my mind. It's not to late Jaden; I can go get him for you."

"I appreciate the offer, Onasi, but I don't want you to jeopardize your career any more than you have." _Besides, _she thought, _I need to do this; it needs to happen this way._

Carth wanted to ask her if Canderous was, or knew of, the second key. That discussion would wait.

"Has there been any word on Bastila?" She asked.

He shook his head, "Not yet. When I checked in with Kwyn, he said they were still trying to reach the sub-level."

Jaden closed her eyes as she reached out and touched Carth's arm. "She still alive," she whispered, but didn't add that some of the others with her had perished. She released his arm.

"Kwyn also said that a Sith cruiser was seen near Tatooine." He grabbed her hand when she removed it from his arm. Jaden sighed. "Is that where you told Zared he would find one of the keys?"

Jaden nodded.

"In the back of a Krayt dragon's lair, by the Star Map?"

Jaden looked at him with surprise. She hadn't told him that. "How did you . . .?"

"An educated guess. One of the maps was on Dantooine," he mentioned.

"Dantooine was attacked simply because of the Jedi enclave," she told him thinking of Zared and his 'pre-planning'.

"Sith hatred of the Jedi?"

"Yes," she sighed, "nothing more. They really should move."

Carth gave her a half grin; "I'll be sure to pass that on to Master Vandar."

"They're just going to continue to be blown up as long as they stay there. Hand it off to the military." Jaden said shaking her head.

"Then my guys can be blown up." He stated with mock concern. Jaden's lips twitched but before she could answer, Atton called her name.

"We'll discuss the wisdom of that suggestion later," he told her tugging on her hand to bring her closer. "Anything I should know about the Ebon Hawk."

"Don't turn off T3," she told him with a grin.

"Wouldn't dream of it. Why did Atton?"

"Apparently he doesn't like droids." She frowned.

"T3's harmless."

"Don't tell that to T3," Jaden told him horrified Carth would suggest such a thing.

He smiled and pulled her into his arms. "Be careful, and if you run into trouble contact me."

Jaden went willingly and took a moment to draw on his strength. "I will." Atton yelled her name again.

"You better go," Carth said releasing her. "I'll monitor things from here and let you know if anything comes up, or your way."

"Hopefully it will go as planned and we'll be back shortly." Jaden leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss. She had no sense of any impending doom, but she still felt awkward at leaving him.

"What's wrong?" He asked, noticing her hesitation.

"Nothing." She answered with another quick kiss; one she hoped was reassuring. Something was shifting within the Force, but she couldn't identify what it was.


	15. Chapter 14

Carth watched Jaden, Atton and Visas as they moved off across a meadow about a mile from the city of Iziz. It was only a drop off point. Carth would pick them up at an old abandoned landing pad on the other side of the city. At least Kelborn had said it was deserted. Vaklu had ended the blockade after he took power so he didn't have to worry about that, but he still wasn't comfortable with what the Mandalorian told him. When the group disappeared over a rise, he turned to T3 and HK.

"Let's get her in the air."

"Beep."

Jaden was still puzzling over the shift she could feel in the Force when they reached one of the gates to the city. After a quick mind trick, they were allowed in and given the proper credentials to be there. As they were making their way toward the sky ramp that was near the prison, Jaden quietly asked, "Does anyone else feel that?"

"Feel what? That Kelborn will come screaming in on a Basilisk war droid." Atton quipped.

"No. A . . .shift in the Force," Jaden told him frowning. "On the edges."

"It is subtle," Visas agreed, "Like a door has been pushed open and a breeze is coming through." Jaden came to a stop and looked at her.

"A door that would need a key?" Atton asked. "The Exile found the key on Tatooine." Atton added looking around to make sure no one was watching. Jaden looked at him surprised.

"The Admiral told us that you had given General Zared the location of one of the keys. A Sith cruiser was spotted near Tatooine." Visas related. Jaden sighed.

"What else has he told you?" She demanded to know. Atton gave Visas a quick look. "Come on, what else?"

"That's all he said. Well, that and they were still trying to reach Bastila." Atton told her sheepishly. Jaden began walking again knowing there was more. After all, she had been asleep for a couple of hours. _Now who was keeping secrets_, she thought.

The subject of her thoughts asked over the comm-link, "Jaden, where are you?" She unclipped the device from her belt and stepped off to the side.

"We're coming up on the sky ramp," she told him as she looked around. They were getting ready to exit the Western Square and she could hear T3 in the background beeping away.

"T3 says there's a large group of people headed your way. Apparently they're armed."

Atton frowned. "You don't think Kelborn told those Talia supporters what we were up to, do you." He asked. Jaden shook her head.

"They may hate Vaklu, but they despise the Mandalorians even more," she answered indicating with her head he should go check it out. Atton reluctantly went around the corner, one hand near his blaster, the other resting on the grip of his saber.

"I can't pick anything up, can you?" She asked Visas. After a few moments, Visas shook her head.

"There is a great deal of noise." Visas said as Atton came jogging back.

"There're about a hundred of them coming from the northwest. They're armed and headed this way."

"Damn it," Jaden muttered as she looked around the wide avenue. There were vendors selling their wares and cages of Boma beasts waiting for transport to Telos as part of the Republic restoration project.

"Jaden, I don't like this," Carth said softly. "This isn't going to go well."

"T3, can you pick up anything?" Jaden asked ignoring him. The droid gave a beep of doom but began to run his sensors.

"How the hell is that little trash compactor going to pick up anything?" Atton asked, but then there was a beep from T3, some static, and then, a new voice.

"Can you trust this source? Are you sure the path will be clear?"

"Yes. My contact in the palace assured me that Vaklu would be in the planning room. He said he would handle the assignment of the guards, that they would assist us."

"And once Vaklu is dead, the Republic will put Queen Talia back on the throne."

"And we will have peace."

There was some more static then silence.

"It's a trap," Visas whispered.

"They'll be dead," Atton added.

"I agree." Carth said high overhead looking quizzically at T3. "Is there a way to stop them?"

_~~ Do not interfere, child._ ~~

Jaden didn't answer him as she began moving at a quicker pace past the sky ramp.

"They have to be stopped," Carth stated in his best command voice.

"I can't stop this," Jaden muttered, as she tried to block out the Masters reiterating their command not to interfere.

"Damn it, Jaden, you have to try!"

"I can't!" She mumbled again.

"Atton! Visas!" Carth yelled over the comm-link.

Jaden turned to them with a tortured look. "Run!" She shouted as the air filled with a high-pitched whine, followed by a large explosion. All three were thrown to the ground as bricks and shards of durasteel and glass rained down around them. Jaden covered her ears with her hands the best she could but still couldn't block out the screams of the dead and injured.

* * *

"Jaden! Jaden!" Carth called her name several more times. "What the hell was that, T3?"

"Beep, bwoop, boop."

"What?" He demanded spinning toward the droid with disbelief, his heart nearly stopped.

"Dwoo."

Carth fell back in the chair, his hands covering his face. "Are you certain?" He asked behind his hands. "An air defense turret?"

The little droid's moans of doom made Carth feel like he had been sucker punched. His air was gone and he was having difficulty trying to drag any back into his lungs.

"Query: Admiral?" HK asked stepping forward.

"Is she . . . are they . . .?" He asked afraid of the answer. He wasn't ready to save the galaxy.

"Dwoo."

_~~ They live. ~~_ It was a faint voice, on the edges of his mind. _Great,_ he thought, _now he was hearing things,_ but he seemed calmer and his heart had started again.

"Find them, T3." He ordered as it became easier to breathe. T3 recited more words of doom.

"Jammed? What do you mean jammed? You picked someone out of a crowd for cryin' out loud," Carth yelled, his frustration and fear clear in his voice.

~~ _Listen and you will find the Force. ~~_ The voice was stronger this time.

"What?" Carth snapped turning to HK.

"Bewilderment: I said nothing, Admiral."

~~ _Listen and you will find the Force. _~~

Carth shook his head to clear it. What was happening to him? Just then, T3 began to beep excitedly.

"Did you find her?"

"Dwoo." No one did doom and gloom better than the little droid.

* * *

Jaden came to with a gasping breath. She took a quick mental inventory of her body and decided nothing was broken, bruised and sore, but not broken. She could hear the shouts and screams around her as she lifted herself gingerly to her hands and knees. Dust and debris fell from her back as she saw Atton helping Visas to her feet not very far away.

"Are you hurt?" He asked over his shoulder.

"No. You?" Atton shook his head.

"What was that?" Visas asked as she approached Jaden to help her to stand. They all looked toward the opposite end of the Merchant Square to find a gaping hole where the majority of the Talia supporters had been. What was left of the fountain in the center was shooting water straight up and cascading down to turning the debris to mud and causing the blood from the injured and dying to flow like a meandering river toward the sewers. The smoke from the crater revealed only glimpses of burned body parts and the charred flesh left behind. There was a frantic rush to save the survivors, but it was in vain. Jaden could feel their lives slipping away as she absorbed the life force of many of them. Some were peaceful, others angry and it felt as if thousands of pin pricks were stabbing along her skin.

Atton looked at the crater and then followed an unseen line over Jaden's shoulder. "Judging from the size of that hole and going back, I'd say it was that air defense turret."

Both Jaden and Visas turned around to see the still smoking guns realigning to point back at the sky. Several of the soldiers on duty just stood there, watching the chaos below, doing nothing, when an officer exited the turret building, looking smug and overly pleased with himself. Jaden felt something dark and nasty shift inside her.

Visas turned to Jaden and saw her friend go rigid and her eyes darken. When she touched Jaden's arm, she quickly released her. Visas could feel the waves of the dark side streaming off Jaden. "Let go of your anger, Jaden. It will not help the others. Please, Jaden, listen to me."

Jaden looked over at Visas, her eyes dark and blazing. "No," she snarled with malevolence and in the next instance the turret, the soldiers, and the smug officer guarding it went up in a spectacular fireball.

"Jaden, no!" Atton shouted at her as he covered his head and ducked as the fiery debris rained down around them. Another turret went up in the same manner. Atton grabbed her and gave her a hard shake. "Look at me! Don't do this!" He shook her once more. His hands were burning and he could feel the darkness begin to snake through him. "Come back, Jaden." He whispered looking into her black and lifeless eyes. "You can do it. Come back." Slowly the darkness began to fade.

"They didn't deserve to die that way," Jaden snapped.

"No, they didn't, but your anger is denying them the peace they do deserve," Visas said quietly as she watched Atton wince. It was costing him to touch Jaden. The dark side was seeking another target in him. "Don't shut them out."

Jaden squeezed her eyes shut. "The light, Jaden. You are the light." Atton could see and feel Jaden struggle back from the dark side her anger had brought forth on its own. When there was a third explosion, Atton swore.

Jaden sagged against him as her knees gave way. "It wasn't me," she told him, calmer than she had been in the last few minutes. Visas looked across the way at the destruction strewn about the square. People were frantically trying to help the injured.

"The Mandalorians." She stated.

"Damn it," Atton mumbled as his own alignment began a sluggish returned to the light side.

"It's okay," Jaden told him, moving away. "I'll be okay. Thank you, both of you."

"Are you certain?" Visas asked. Jaden looked exhausted and pale. More than Visas had ever seen her.

"It's never come at me that quickly before," she whispered, pushing Visas question aside for the moment. "We need to get Canderous."

"I don't know about this. I think we should get back to the Ebon Hawk and let the Admiral get Canderous. This is getting out of control, Jaden. You're losing your control," Atton said quietly as a group of people went running by.

Jaden didn't get the chance to answer him as the wall beside them erupted with blaster fire. "That's them!" A helmeted soldier called out.

"No choice, now," Jaden said tiredly flipping on her saber and facing the group of Vaklu's men running towards them.

Jaden deflected the blaster bolts as she moved forward towards the soldiers. The desire to destroy them was strong as it twisted through her system. So strong, that fighting the impulse was interfering with her concentration. When a blaster shot grazed her arm, she bit back the cry of pain and forged ahead.

* * *

At the same time T3 began chattering; Carth cried out in pain and grabbed his right shoulder.

"Alarmed Question: Admiral, are you alright?" HK asked.

The pain was gone as quickly as it had come and left him a little shaken and rubbing his arm. "I think we found her, T3," Carth told the excited droid.

"Query: What happened to you?" HK asked.

Carth shook his head, "I don't know. It felt like my shoulder was on fire, but now it's gone. Can you tell if she's hurt, T3?"

"Dwoo, beep, boop."

"Translation: He said he can only tell that the Master and the others are alive and on the move."

"Okay," he said taking a deep breath. "But how? You're not being jammed anymore."

"Response: No Admiral. The Master's light saber."

"Huh?"

T3 launched into, what seemed to Carth, a rather lengthy explanation. When T3 was done a few minutes later, he looked to HK to fill in the parts he couldn't quite catch. "I got saber, Sith and frequency out of that."

"Pleased statement: I'm impressed, Admiral. Most organic meatbags cannot interpret the language of a T3 utility droid."

"HK . . ." He sighed.

"Clarification: If you got saber, Sith and frequency then you understood the message."

Carth raised his brows at the assassination droid.

"Continuation: Since the light saber is unique to each Jedi, or Sith for that matter, it was only necessary to scan for the Master's frequency. You see each saber has its own . . ."

"Wait a minute. Are you telling me that Jaden can be tracked through her saber?" HK nodded. "And every time she turns it on, you can find her?"

"Dwoo," T3 beeped softly.

"Clarification: No, Admiral. It does not need to be on."

Carth tipped his head back against the seat and began laughing, great guffaws of resignation. "Why bother with a tracking device when you can trace Jaden through her saber."

"Beep, beep." HK looked at his counterpart. "Beep!" The little droid added when HK didn't translate fast enough.

"Correction: Oh. Admiral, you misunderstand. When I said the Master could be tracked through her saber, I meant only T3 could track her."

Carth turned his head and looked at the droids with something akin to incredulity.

"Beep, bwoop, deet."

"Translation: Although each saber is different, attuned to the builder if you will, anyone can use a Jedi's weapon. However, since only the Master can wield her saber, her signature, as it were, is unique. The Master programmed T3 to read that signature across all frequencies."

Carth continued to stare at the droids while T3 launched into another mini dissertation. He reached up to rub his left temple. "So whether it's on or not, and depending on her . . . alignment . . . Jaden's saber gives off a different signal?"

"Praising statement: Very good, Admiral!" HK said to him as if he were a small child who had done something simple for the first time.

"You said you were being jammed, T3," Carth ignored the tone of HK's voice.

"Twee, boop."

"All right, the EMP from the explosion was jamming her signal. So how did you find her?"

"Dwoo."

"T3, just tell me," Carth sighed and silently added, _like pulling teeth._

"Beep, dweet, dwoo."

Carth knew he must look ridiculous with his jaw dropped open, but he couldn't help it. "How dark sided?" He whispered unable to catch his breath.

"Dwoo."

"I knew she had . . . wiggle room. Are you certain?"

"Dwoo."

"And now?" He asked still trying to understand what T3 had told him.

"Dwoo."

"Try to reach them," he said straightening in the chair.

* * *

Jaden, Atton and Visas had reached the other side of the square and found reasonable cover behind some rubble of the turret Jaden had destroyed.

"How are you feeling?" Visas asked. If Jaden didn't count her arm that felt as if it was on fire, then she was steady. She had beaten back the dark side through sheer determination, but it was still there jabbing at her.

"I'm steadier," she told Visas but didn't mention her arm.

"Are you able to go on?" Atton asked. Jaden nodded, resisting the urge to rub her injured arm. It must not be too bad, if Visas and Atton hadn't commented on it. She was getting ready to look when T3's excited chatter came over the comm-link.

"It's for you," Atton said sarcastically.

Jaden shook her head in resignation at his attitude toward the droid and reached down to her belt only to find her comm-link smashed to pieces, hanging from a few wires. She must have landed on it when the explosion threw them. "Actually, it's for you." She told Atton smugly. Atton yanked the unit from his belt.

"What is it, droid?" He snapped.

"Pffft!" T3 answered causing Jaden and Visas to smile at Atton's scowl.

"Atton? Is everyone all right?" Carth's voice came across clear and full of concern. Atton gave Jaden a quick look before telling him they were fine. There was still a sense of darkness around Jaden, but it was fading, slowly; too slowly for Atton's comfort. If Jaden fell again to the dark side, he wasn't sure he could bring her out of it this time. They needed to get Canderous and get the hell out of here. The more exhausted Jaden became, the more susceptible she was to her emotions and the shifts inherent in the Force.

"What happened?" Carth asked. "T3 said an air defense turret went off."

"Yeah. Left a crater where a hundred Talia supports once stood," Atton told him.

"Any survivors?" Carth asked and Jaden could picture him pinching the bridge of his nose.

"No," Atton said quietly when Jaden shook her head.

"Damn it," Carth muttered knowing something was going to have to be done. The Republic could not let Vaklu get away with this. He would contact Kwyn and let him know what happened. "Where are you now?"

"We're headed toward the prison. Kelborn already set his part of the plan in motion." Atton said. Carth still had an uncomfortable feeling about him and his arm suddenly started to ache again.

"Is Jaden with you?" He asked.

"She's . . ." Jaden shook her head. Atton shot her an annoyed look. " . . . gone on ahead to scout the area."

"Good. Atton, what else happened?" Carth asked thinking his question was in confidence. Jaden looked at the comm-link with raised brows.

"Nothing. Well, we dove for cover."

"Atton," Carth sighed, "T3 found you guys because Jaden was giving off . . . exceptionally strong dark side energy."

Atton narrowed his eyes at Jaden and asked, "Exceptionally strong?"

"According to T3, it was pure dark side energy." Carth answered after a quick debate with himself.

Atton sharpened his gaze at Jaden. That explained how she had destroyed the lifeless turrets without lifting a finger, and why Atton had felt the dark side slipping in under his defenses. "She's coming back. I'll contact you when we've reached the rendezvous point. Rand out." He flipped off the comm-link.

"Is that true?" Visas asked quietly. Jaden nodded, feeling more than just physical pain.

"I don't care who you are, it's impossible for someone to fall that far, that quickly and come back just as fast!" Atton told her, his own fear of falling making his tone sharp.

"Anger is a quick emotion, Atton," Jaden said softly. Atton didn't press her on the issue. Instead, he headed for the prison.

"Is he correct? That it is impossible?" Visas asked.

"Obviously not, since that's what happened," she answered as she started after Atton. Visas was prevented from speaking further by the sound of blaster fire in the distance.

"That's our cue," Atton told them over his shoulder.

"I've hurt him," Jaden said when Visas joined her. "And you." She added.

"Atton does not fully understand what you are, how giving up part of your power has taken away part of your control. The sacrifices you have made and the one yet to come."

"And what am I?"

"You are the Force, Jaden." Visas answered and Jaden sighed.

"Something I don't think he'll ever understand."

"Do you fully understand it?" Visas asked.

"No." Nevertheless, she should, Jaden thought as they reached Atton. Whether she was whole or not, she was the Force yet even knowing what she could do, Jaden often felt at a loss and alone. She could have stopped this slaughter but she was told not to interfere, and she always did as the Masters told her.

"There are only two guards in this section. Let's hope Kelborn's plan works and pulls the others inside away from their posts." Atton said.

The plan was for Kelborn to create a large enough diversion at the back of the prison to draw the guards away from the area where Canderous was being held. Jaden's group would come in the front, get Canderous and exit the prison from the left side.

"Let's try and do this without killing anyone else," Jaden said.

"That's up to you, isn't it?" Atton retorted. Jaden knew what he meant so she didn't pretend otherwise. They would need to have a long talk.

"Let's do this quietly. After we get in, Visas will hack the computer to unlock Canderous's cell. Atton, you'll take the center corridor. I'll go to his cell and wait for Visas to signal me." Jaden relayed to them.

"What if Canderous doesn't want to go?" Visas asked.

"Do you know anyone who wants to be a prisoner?" Atton answered derisively with his own question.

"He'll come."

"Does he owe you too?" Atton inquired, still pissed off at her. Jaden was beginning to think there was more to his anger than the depth of her fall to the dark side and her quick recovery. She knew the dark side had slipped below his defenses, but it was more than that.

"The galaxy owes me, Atton." She snapped at him. He stared back defiantly.

"Enough!" Visas told them. Jaden was the first to break the staring contest, there was more blaster fire off in the distance. "We must go now," she added.

The three of them rounded the corner, and entered the prisons main hub. It was a cold and depressing circular durasteel structure with cellblocks angling away like the spokes from a wheel. An alarm was shrieking overhead, its pitch and volume designed to either drive one insane or to their knees. They could hear shouts in the distance and the pleadings of the prisoners to turn off the alarms. Jaden noticed Atton cringe away from the sound and she touched his arm, for Atton, the sound deafened inside his head.

The two guards on duty raised their blaster rifles. "What do you want?" One of then demanded.

"For you to sleep," Jaden said as she waved her hand. The guards crumpled to the floor. "See what you can do about that alarm," she added to Visas as she picked up the rifles and handed one to Atton. Visas moved to the computer terminal and sliced in. A few moments later, the alarms ceased screaming.

"Thank you," Atton said to Visas and then looked at Jaden.

"Force . . . earplugs," Jaden answered with a wave of her hand to the question he was about to ask. Atton only nodded.

"It was like knife points crawling through my head."

"Designed to incapacitate escaping prisoners," Visas said as she worked at the terminal.

"Or torture them," he responded.

"There are several safeguard systems here. Once I get through them, I fear that it will bring the army down on our heads." Visas stated her belief as she worked quickly.

"We don't have a choice. We'll just have to be quick." Jaden said looking around. There wasn't much to recommend the place, even for a prison.

"Jaden?" Visas asked quietly and utterly still. Jaden immediately sensed something was wrong and it wasn't just the fact they were about to be overrun by soldiers.

"What is it?"

"Visas looked over at her, "The queen is here."

"What?" Atton practically yelled. "I thought she was in hiding." He added as he moved to the console to see for himself.

"Damn it!" Jaden swore as she grabbed a chunk of hair on each side of her head and yanked once.

"We can't leave her. She's scheduled to be executed," Visas added.

"Do you think her supporters knew? That's why they were headed here?" Atton asked moving away from the console to pace the circular room.

"Frack. Where is she?" Jaden asked as she silently let every curse word she knew in various languages roll through her mind. Now she understood why she had to be here and not let Carth get Canderous.

"The same block as Mandalore, but one floor up," Visas said studying the layout of the prison on the screen.

"We can't be lucky and have it right over his, could we?" Atton asked thinking they could just blast through the floor.

"She's at the end. Mandalore is in the middle." Visas watched Jaden closely who had her eyes tightly shut.

Atton crossed over to Jaden, "I'll get the Queen and meet you back here."

"No," Jaden told him.

"Jaden, you said yourself she would be returned to the throne. If you don't do something, she will die." Visas mentioned.

"I know," Jaden said taking a deep breath. "How close is her cell to the exit?"

"Closer, actually."

"Alright. We get Canderous and then we'll get the queen. Come on," Jaden said motioning to Atton and they headed down the cellblock.

"Onasi's going to flip his lid," Atton told her as they approached a corner.

"Maybe now the Republic will do something about Vaklu," Jaden muttered as she noticed the hallway was empty of soldiers although the cells were crowed with two and three prisoner in each.

"Want to free them all?" He asked as they hurried down the corridor.

"Some deserve to be here. Visas, we're coming up to his cell."

"I'm showing another prisoner with him."

"Understood," she said as Atton took his position on the other side of the door. "We're ready."

"Door's unlocked."

Jaden pressed the button and walked in. She waved her hand at the other prisoner and he slumped over. "Canderous," Jaden said turning to him.


	16. Chapter 15

"What are you doing here?" Canderous Ordo demanded as he stood up. His six foot five inch frame was covered in battle scarred silver armor. His helmet distorted his voice, but those who knew him would recognize the deep timbre anywhere. The need for the armor and helmet were all due to Revan and her torturous treatment of Canderous. Another mark against her, she thought.

"Nice to see you too. I'm here to bust you out because I need you." Jaden told him.

"Why?" He asked, and even though his face was covered, Jaden knew he had narrowed his eyes.

"Long story, no time, let's go." She stressed.

"Where?"

"Anywhere but here!" Atton snapped.

"Nice to see you too, Rand," Mandalore said.

"Jaden, the secondary alarms have sounded, you're about to have company." Visas 's voice came over Atton's comm-link.

"And the Miraluka." Mandalore said

"We also have an Admiral and two droids." Atton said cheerfully. "Can we please go?" He added as he moved toward the door, but Canderous still didn't move.

Jaden studied the ferocious warrior for a moment, trying to determine why he was being intractable. "She's dead, Canderous, I killed her. I need your help to defeat the Exile." Jaden told him taking a stab at his reason as she handed the blaster rifle to him.

"My men?"

"Will be protected by the Republic," she told him deciding that Carth would just have to deal.

"We've got company!" Atton called out.

"Decide!" Jaden demanded. Canderous grabbed the offered rifle.

"Let's go."

Jaden would have preferred to go first, she could have mind tricked the soldiers to avoid anymore bloodshed, but Canderous and Atton stepped into the corridor, blasters blazing. All she could do was follow, guarding their backs as they made their way toward Visas. She supposed Canderous felt he had some paybacks coming.

* * *

"Beep, broop, dwoo."

"What?" Carth asked absently as he piloted the Ebon Hawk toward the rendezvous point.

"Beep, broop, dwoo."

"Translation: Admiral, I believe something has gone wrong. Apparently, the army has been put into action.

Carth swung around to the droids, "Army?"

"Statement: Yes, Admiral. Several squads have been dispatched to the prison and Vaklu is sending fighters into the air."

"What?" Carth asked again, "For one Mandalorian?"

"Statement: So it would seem."

"Get Atton on the comm-link. Something else is going on."

* * *

"Jaden, there are several more squads headed this way." Visas yelled as the trio came into view.

"I guess Vaklu doesn't want to give up his prize, huh?" Atton threw out to the group.

"I am the leader of the Mandalorians. We made the people of Iziz cower in fear during the war." Canderous said importantly, reliving those days in his mind.

"Well, your ego is still healthy," Atton said sarcastically, "But I was talking about Queen Talia."

"The queen? Talia is here?" Canderous demanded.

"And our next stop." Jaden said into the relative calm. They had gotten past the first set of guards with little trouble. Now came the hard part. _Why didn't I see this?_

"You're going to rescue the queen."

"It was just you, but we can't leave her here. Vaklu has her scheduled for execution." Jaden told him.

"That certainly explains why Vaklu moved all the prisoners and tripled the guard. He doesn't want anyone to know she's here." Canderous mentioned.

"Yeah, well, the whole galaxy is about to know," Atton replied.

"You'll never be able to reach her. Vaklu will have dozens of guards and turrets guarding her. War droids too." Canderous said.

"She cannot be allowed to die." Visas told him.

"Beep."

"It's for you," Atton said. Jaden yanked the comm-link out of his hand.

"What is it, T3? I'm a little busy here." Jaden answered.

"Well it's about to be busier. T3 is indicating that several squads of troops are mobilizing on your position. Vaklu has also ordered his pilots to ready for launch." Carth told her.

"An Admiral and two droids," Canderous said softly with a chuckle.

"Jaden, what's going on?" Carth demanded.

"We have Canderous, but apparently Vaklu also is holding Queen Talia as a prisoner."

"What?" Carth once again snapped his favorite word of the day. "Damn it Jaden, get out of there. I'll alert the Republic. They can handle it."

"I can't leave her Admiral. Vaklu has her scheduled for execution." Jaden said into the silence on the comm-link.

"The Republic can be here in a few hours," He finally said.

"We can't be certain that Vaklu won't kill her immediately. Unless you have a battle cruiser in orbit, Vaklu could kill her and tell the Republic she was killed when the others tried to storm the sky ramp," Jaden told him as she indicated to the others that they should keep moving.

Carth knew she was right, but that did not mean he had to like it. This situation was getting increasingly out of control. "If Vaklu launches those fighters I may not be able to reach you." He finally said.

"The air defense turrets," Visas said.

"And we would never make it out of the city." Atton added as the group moved toward the turbo lift.

"How the hell did you get this far?" Canderous asked with impatience at their poor planning.

"Kelborn and some of your men created a diversion." Jaden answered giving him a frown of displeasure.

"Kelborn? Then they could disengage the turrets. It would be good practice for them." Canderous told them.

"No." Carth said over the comm-link.

"I agree," Jaden added quickly, "If Kelborn followed the plan, then they are all ready on their way back to Dxun."

"Beep."

"Translation: Confirmed," HK joined the discussion, "The Mandalorians have taken off and are on their way back to the moon."

"Damn it, Jaden." Carth said quietly as the turbo lift reached the second level of the prison. When the doors opened, Canderous and Atton took up an offensive position. Visas engaged her saber and stepped forward. Jaden also stepped out and off to the side.

"I need you to trust me," Jaden told him softly. It was silent for a few moments.

"What do you want me to do?" Carth asked.

"HK can handle the fighters. T3, you'll need to boost the shields on the Ebon Hawk." The little droid squeaked. "Yes, T3 that's what I mean."

"What?" Carth asked.

"Later. You'll need to fly fast and low, Onasi." Jaden told him.

"This better work, Jaden, or I'll never forgive you."

"Likewise. I want my . . . hours."

Carth was amazed he could chuckle. He was scared to his bones for her and the others. One mistake and they would all be dead. "So do I," he whispered. "I'll alert the Republic fleet, let them know what is going on."

"I'll let you know when we're ready." Jaden said.

"Be careful and May the Force be with you."

Jaden didn't respond to that since she was always with herself. A curious phrase when applied to her. She had often wondered how it got started, but it didn't matter. Humanity needed a battle cry in times of trouble, and 'May the Force be with you' was just as good as any other.

* * *

General Vaklu was a tall, stately man with distinguished looking salt and pepper hair and beard. He had served Queen Talia for many years, all the while plotting her downfall.

Vaklu felt she was a weak ruler, allowing the Republic too much control over the affairs of Onderon. The Republic had done little when the Mandalorians attacked the planet ten years ago. The Mandalorians had nearly destroyed the people before the Republic, well the Jedi, had helped them. Vaklu had fought against the occupation and his hatred of the Mandalorians grew to include the Republic and his cousin, the queen.

Vaklu didn't like to admit it, but he had made a mistake aligning himself with the Sith as well. However, that alliance seemed to work itself out when the fallen Jedi, known as the Exile helped him overthrow Talia, in his quest for revenge against the members of the Jedi Council that banished him from the order. Vaklu knew there were Sith among the citizens of Iziz, but they occasionally helped Vaklu with . . . certain activities. One of those operations was to capture Queen Talia after her escape from the palace.

It had taken months to find her, but Vaklu finally captured her. He had lost his attempt to secede from the Republic, but perhaps now, she could be used to help him gain his ultimate goal; total independence.

Capturing Mandalore and pinning the uprising on him had seemed like a stroke of genius, but it was not. Now, Vaklu was stuck with the Mandalorian, a Mandalorian who had friends high up in the Republic. He feared the Mandalorians on Dxun would try to attack to rescue their leader. That's why he attacked the moon first, but nothing ever materialized on that front, and instead supports of the queen had proved to be the bigger problem.

Well, he thought, he had solved that problem earlier by wiping out the leaders of her supporters. A simple plan devised by one of his advisors. The group's stupidity was really rather sad, but it was done. His plans to thwart the Republic were finally falling into place.

The issue now was the group trying to break into the prison to rescue the queen. Vaklu was sure no one knew she was being held and the idea that one of her soldiers may have told her supporters made Vaklu think that perhaps they were not as stupid as he thought. Sacrifice was important to plans so maybe those who died this morning were not the true leaders of the queen's supporters but lambs sent to slaughter.

Whoever they were, they were powerful and had fire power. Two of his air defense turrets had been destroyed, several of his men were dead, and the state-of-the-art security he had installed around the city was in shambles.

One of his advisors, a colonel came into the office and waited patiently for acknowledgement. The man was kept waiting for five minutes before Vaklu turned from the window.

"What is the situation, Colonel?"

"General, apparently the queen isn't the only target of the raid on the prison. One of the soldiers reported that the leader of the Mandalorians was released first and is helping the small group reach the queen."

"Then it's the Mandalorians. But why take the queen?" Vaklu asked as he paced the office.

"Sir, I don't believe it is the Mandalorians. The Lieutenant reported two women and one man. He also said they had light sabers, Sir." The colonel told him.

"Light sabers. Jedi?"

"Unknown sir."

"Well, Colonel, light sabers in this part of the galaxy generally mean Jedi."

"I agree General, but in this case it could mean the Sith."

"In this case?" Vaklu asked frowning.

"The Ebon Hawk has been picked up, outside of the city."

Why would the Exile return now, Vaklu thought, and what would he want with Mandalore and Queen Talia? Unless . . . unless the Republic somehow got a hold of the Ebon Hawk. It seemed a little outlandish, but Vaklu was not going to take any chances.

"I want Mandalore and the others dead, Colonel. If I'm right about this, no one will raise any questions about their deaths," Vaklu told him.

"And the Ebon Hawk?"

"Destroy it."

* * *

"I have a bad feeling about this," Atton said scanning the deserted corridor.

"I agree. It's too quiet." Canderous added.

"Given the situation, I would think Vaklu would have every available man on hand," Visas put in.

"Unless you didn't need them," Jaden said stepping to the center of the corridor. She engaged her saber and sent it flying down the deserted cellblock. The hallway erupted into an impenetrable shower of turret fire. In addition to the turrets set up in the empty cells, several dropped down from the ceiling and came up from the floor. The group dove for cover. Jaden landed on her right shoulder and winced at the pain.

"You're hit!" Atton called out seeing the blood ooze through her shirt.

"No. No, it's from earlier." She said as she struggled to a sitting position.

"Damn it, why didn't you say something?" Atton snapped at her as he scurried to her side.

"It's not bad, Atton, I'll be fine." She said trying to reassure him.

"I'll be the judge of that. Let's have a look."

"Atton, we don't have time. Trust me, please. I'll be fine."

"Well, we're not going anywhere with that wall of . . . death." Canderous said.

"I can't make it to the computer controls to shut it down." Visas said looking around. Atton sat back against the wall next to Jaden.

"I doubt it's controlled from here anyway," he told her as he looked at Jaden's injured arm.

"You realize we're trapped. We can't go forward and any moment now the turbo lift is going to open and Vaklu's men will have us boxed in. Brilliant plan, Jaden." Canderous sneered from behind his mask.

"None of this was on the plans General Lavek provided," Atton pointed out.

"I imagine Vaklu has done a great many things the Republic knows nothing about." Jaden told them as she slapped Atton's hand away. His . . . ministrations were making her arm ache worse than it all ready was. Atton scowled at her but stopped tending her arm.

"Did you bring any grenades? That would take care of some of the turrets." Canderous said angrily. Jaden looked at him sharply. It would be a risk, but at this point, she didn't see another way around their predicament. Jaden relaxed her guard and let a little of the dark side, that had been poking at her, in behind her barriers

"No," She told him nastily, "I don't have any grenades. I didn't think I would need them."

"What did you think would happen? You just waltz in and rescue us all? You're a poor commander, Jaden." Canderous snapped.

"At least I have something to command. I didn't roll over at the first sight of an overwhelming force. And here I thought Malachor V was sacred to the Mandalorians." She snapped at him with flashing eyes and a sinister smile.

It was silent, except for Canderous's breathing which became heavier as his anger grew. Atton and visas exchanged a quick look. "Brilliant," Visas whispered.

"You bitch!" Canderous told her and with that, Jaden stepped into the corridor, stretched out her hands and sent a powerful stream of Force Lightening down the cell block. The electricity spread from turret to turret causing a chain reaction of explosions. Moments later there was silence. Jaden lowered her hands and promptly crumpled to her knees.

"This is one reason," she panted, "why I need you, Canderous." She said gasping as Atton helped her up. "It's a long story and one I will tell you when there is time. However, I will tell you I am not as strong in the Force as I was when we first met. You balance Atton's light side so that I can maintain my own balance, and draw from each of you when I need to. By making you angry I was able to use a dark side power by drawing off of you."

Canderous was still angry but this wasn't the time to demand answers. He didn't like being left out of the loop, but he did owe Jaden his life. After all, she sent the freighter who found him. Canderous wasn't sure how he knew that, yet he did, just as he had known whom she was when Jaden walked into the cantina on Tatooine. She had asked nothing of him, only inquired about his health and told him he should rebuild the clans of the Mandalorians, starting with his own. The idea had been his salvation. If for nothing else, Canderous owed Jaden for that. He would trust her, for now. Besides, he was about to be free.

"Are you okay?" Atton asked Jaden as she turned from Canderous and faced the cellblock. She nodded as she used the light to push back the darkness. "Do you think you got them all?" He asked since no one seemed eager to rush forward.

"Why don't you walk down there and find out, Atton." Canderous said.

"Ha, ha. What do you know, a Mandalorian with a sense of humor."

"Well we can't just stand here," Visas said engaging her saber. Jaden did the same and started forward.

"Which one is Talia's?" She asked over her shoulder.

"Last on the left."

"Okay. You stay with Canderous and cover us. Atton, you're with me." They started down the corridor, waving their sabers in front of each cell before passing them to make sure the turrets were no longer active.

"You might want to hurry it up," Canderous shouted. "The turbo lift is on the move."

"Yeah, yeah," Atton mumbled as they reached the door. "Um, Jaden?"

"What?" She asked as she took up a defensive position.

"It's great that you disabled the turrets, but I think you went a little overboard."

"What do you mean?" She asked looking over her shoulder. "Oh, Sith spit," she swore when she saw the destroyed door controls.

"I might be able to hot wire it, but it will take time." He told her with his hands on his hips.

"Time we don't have. Cover me," Jaden sighed as she moved toward the cell, raised her saber and plunged it into the center of the door.

"That'll work, too." Atton said turning his attention back down the corridor.

"Here they come!" Visas called out.

Jaden twisted her saber back and forth in an effect to speed the melting process. She ducked once when stray blaster fire exploded beside her. "Damn it!" She swore and sent a powerful burst of Force Push down the corridor. Vaklu's soldiers were thrown off their feet, which gave Jaden the time she needed to finish with the door. She withdrew her saber and gave the door a quick kick. "We're in," she said entering the cell. Atton was close on her heels. The queen, curled in a ball, lay in the corner, not moving.

"Is she . . .?"

"No. She's alive." Jaden said moving toward her. The queen was alive, but she was in bad shape. When Jaden lifted Talia's chin, it was clear she'd been beaten. Her eyes were almost swollen shut and her lip, split. "Your highness, can you hear me." Jaden asked as she made a quick inspection of the queen's arms and legs. She had several broken bones and probably a few broken ribs as well.

"Why didn't he just kill her?" Atton demanded angrily.

"That's no fun," Jaden said as she placed her fingertips on Talia's temples. "You're going to have to carry her, Atton." Jaden said moving aside.

"Is she stable?"

"As much as I can make her."

"Here," Atton said handing her his light saber. It wasn't going to be the most comfortable position, but Atton lifted the queen and draped her over his shoulders. He held her in place by wrapping his arms around one leg and one arm. "Let's go."

Jaden engaged both sabers and they left the relative safety of the cell for the firestorm of the corridor. Visas and Canderous were doing an admirable job of holding back Vaklu's men. The turbo lift they needed was at the end of the opposite corridor. Not impossible, but it would be challenge. They reached the center hub just as Canderous dispatched the last soldier.

"Will she live?" Visas asked when she saw Atton carrying the queen.

"For now," he said. "We need to go."

The group began down the opposite corridor with Visas in the lead, Atton and Jaden in the middle and Canderous bringing up the rear. Jaden pulled out Atton's link.

"Onasi?" We're headed to the rendezvous point."

"Understood," Carth answered. "Jaden, there are several squads waiting for you at the bottom of the lift."

"Okay. Let me know when you're ready to land."

* * *

"Okay boys, here we go. HK, get on that turret. T3, whatever . . . special shields you have, you might want to fire them up."

"Statement: Yes, Admiral."

"Beep, beep."

Carth turned to Ebon Hawk toward the city of Iziz and it didn't take long to pick up the fighters headed their way.

"And a what?" Carth asked T3 when the droid began whirling excitedly. "Where the hell did Vaklu get a Corellian Corvair?"

"Beep."

"It was a rhetorical question, T3." Carth said with a faint smile. Droids, literal till the end.

"Booop."

"It's all right. HK, there's a Corvair with the fighters. See if you can at least take out some of its guns."

"Excited response: Understood, Admiral."

"This is suicide," he muttered as he angrily flipped switches and yanked on his restrains, "And I didn't get my hours."

"Query: Admiral?"

"Nothing. Just be ready."

_I am insane, _he thought. _I'm facing certain death, but I'm enjoying this!_ He liked being a soldier, an admiral, knowing he was contributing to the safety and security of the Republic and its' citizens, but Carth couldn't deny that having to use his wits and guts was making him feel alive.

He dodged several fighters and their fire only acknowledging their destruction on the periphery of his vision. Carth could see the city of Iziz in the distance and the air defense turrets aiming at the Ebon Hawk.

"Beep, boop, dweep."

"Can you tell what's around this landing pad?" He shouted over his shoulder as he maneuvered the ship around incoming fire.

"Dwoo."

"Great." Carth mumbled when T3 told him there were several soldiers in the area and an air defense turret.

"HK, I'm going to circle the pad once. There's an air defense turret I need you to take out before we can land."

"Statement: Understood, Admiral," the droid responded happily. Carth rolled his eyes and looked at T3.

"Signal Jaden."

"Beep."

* * *

"That's the signal," Jaden said when T3's excited chatter erupted over the comm-link. "Let's go."

The group had handled the soldiers lying in wait at the bottom of the turbo lift. When they reached the streets of the city, chaos, panic and fear were running rampant. The citizens of Iziz were screaming as soldiers ran past, taking shots at those they thought might be part of the uprising. The fighters' overhead and the air defense turrets targeting the Ebon Hawk were only adding to the pandemonium on the streets.

They had managed to avoid several patrols as they made their way across the city to the rendezvous point. Jaden had pulled them into a deserted warehouse across from the landing pad where they waited for Carth and the Ebon Hawk. Now it was time to make a last dash to relative safety. The only problem was the multitude of soldiers who surrounded the landing pad with rocket launchers and snipers on the roofs.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this," Atton said as he checked on the queen. He knew carrying her was probably causing more damage to her already brutalized body, but it couldn't be helped. The queen began to stir. "Jaden, she's coming around."

"Who are you? What am I doing here?" She asked in a heavily accented voice. Jaden hunched down beside her.

"My name is Jaden. We," she indicated the others as well, "have rescued you from the prison. We're going to get you out of here and to safety."

The queen tried to look at each of them, but with her eyes so swollen, it was difficult. "The Republic?" Talia whispered.

"No, your highness." Jaden said.

"The Jedi?"

"Not exactly. Look, I'll answer your questions later. I need you to trust me," Jaden said and then winced. Thankfully, the queen didn't see it and only nodded. She took her hand and closed her eyes. The queen became unconscious again. When Jaden stood, she winced once more.

"Jaden, what is it?" Visas asked.

"Nothing . . . my arm, that's all." The lie came easily for her. It wasn't her arm, although the throbbing had increased dramatically. No, this was the almost overwhelming flood of souls returning to the Force at once. Vaklu's men were indiscriminately slaughtering the citizens of Iziz and since she was so close, it was becoming painful.

"Here comes the Ebon Hawk." Canderous said from his position at the door. Jaden took a deep breath and joined him. "That turret will tear the ship apart," he added. "What the hell is he doing?" He asked when Carth spun the ship around. HK fired several rounds at the turret until it began smoking.

"Looks to me like he's trying to even the odds." Atton answered as he approached with the queen once again slung over his shoulders. "Uh-oh," he added.

"What?" Jaden asked then followed the line of Atton's head jerk. The Corellian Corvair was closing in on the Ebon Hawk.

"A frigate? Where did Vaklu get one of those?" Canderous asked.

This was getting out of control, Jaden thought as she looked around. Vaklu obviously had more going on here than anyone, meaning the Republic, knew about. The need for this many soldiers for a prison break was overkill, which was what the soldiers were doing.

Fortunately, some of them were bad shots with a rocket launcher, but it gave Jaden an idea when one of the rockets clipped the left side of the Ebon Hawk. "Visas, I need you." She stated moving from the door.

"What is it?"

"I need you to concentrate on that frigate. I need you to reach whoever is in control of the shields; get 'em to lower them." Visas began meditating. "Atton, Canderous, I need you to concentrate on the soldiers. Think of them turning their rocket launchers on the frigate."

"Why?" Canderous asked. "I'm not Jedi."

"Like I said before, I'm not as strong in the Force as I once was, but with you two, we can pull this off."

"It is done," Visas told her taking in a deep breath.

Jaden closed her eyes and pictured the scene outside. It didn't take long, and even though she drew from Atton and Canderous, the massive trick was draining her. The energy from that action and the souls returning to the Force caused her pain to spike.

"There it goes," Canderous said shaking his head. Jaden ended the mind trick and drew in a deep painful breath.

"Jaden?" Visas asked when she had bent over at the waist, her hands on her knees and drew in deep breaths. Jaden shook her head.

"What about the soldiers?" Atton asked.

"They're push overs," Visas said with a faint smile.

"He's coming in." Canderous said. Jaden stood up and swallowed hard.

"Let's go."

Visas went first, her saber engaged as she sent a powerful push in a circular motion. Several of the soldiers were thrown back from their weapons as the group headed toward the Ebon Hawk.

"Where the hell did they come from?" Atton called out when several Sith came at them from the left side.

"Keep going! I'll take care of them." Jaden shouted over the roar of the Ebon Hawks engines.


	17. Chapter 16

"What the hell is she doing?" Carth shouted when he saw Jaden wade into the small cluster of Sith as they approached the Ebon Hawk. He could hear the others as they ran up the loading ramp but there was Jaden, with no care for her safety, outnumbered by Sith Assassins.

"Beep, dwoo."

"HK, can you do something?" He asked frantic watching her swing both sabers.

"Contrition: Sorry, Admiral, the Master is in the line of fire."

"Damn it!" But HK's assistance wasn't needed as Jaden, still in possession of Atton's saber, handled the Sith assassins with speed and efficiency.

"It's amazing to watch, isn't it?" Atton said coming up behind Carth in the cockpit.

"Stupidity is more like it, but yeah," he answered watching Jaden spin, jump and shift sides as she vanquished them all. She made a quick spin, checked to make sure she was clear before jogging toward the loading ramp.

"Let's get out of here!" She yelled hitting the mechanism to close the ramp. One stray blaster shot whizzed over her head just before the ramp locked shut and she frowned over her shoulder.

Carth had barely cleared the rooftops before shoving the throttle into full and speeding away from the city. He miscalculated the height of a couple of antennas and consequently ripped them from the roofs, causing Jaden to stumble into the large center console in the main hold.

"Hey! Be careful with my ship, Onasi!" She called out as she rubbed her right hip. There were a few more jolts. "Damn it, Onasi!" She shouted as she made her way toward the bridge.

"I think I liked it better when she was unbalanced," Carth muttered after Jaden's second admonishment. Atton chuckled as he sat in the co-pilots chair and fastened his restraints. Carth was high enough that he now needed to worry about the fighters. "There. From the left." Atton said studying the screen in front of him.

"I see them," Carth banked to the right. "HK."

"Statement: Taken care of, Admiral." When another blast rocked the ship, Carth instructed T3 to boost the shields.

Carth's feint to the right had caused Jaden to slam her shoulder into the bulkhead, which boosted the throbbing into the unbearable range. She was sore, angry, and exhausted when she entered the bridge. Most of it drained away, except the exhaustion, when she saw Carth valiantly trying to dodge fighters and keep them alive.

"How soon before you can make the jump to light speed?" She asked. Carth felt some tension and fear leave him. He gave her a quick look and half smile over his shoulder.

"Few more minutes. We're almost free of the plants gravitational field," he told her as he piloted under a fighter that was headed straight for them.

"Did you contact the Republic?" She asked bracing herself as he dodged and wove his way free of the planet. Despite her admonishments a few moments ago, there was no one else Jaden wanted to pilot the Ebon Hawk than Carth. It was as natural to him as breathing, and although she knew the reason for that, she doubted he would believe her. As good as the droids were, instinct couldn't be programmed into what was essential a metal and wire brain.

"Yeah. Captain Locke didn't believe me until all hell broke loose outside his window. He's going to start his own . . . discreet investigation of Vaklu and his government."

"Can you trust him?" Atton asked.

"I don't know, so I've been trying to reach Kwyn."

"Are there any Republic ships close by?" Jaden asked bracing herself against the rocking of the ship.

"No. I did alert Coruscant though. We should hear something soon. How is the queen?" Carth asked making a quick maneuver to the left. Jaden lost her balance, lurched forward, and grabbed his chair. "Sorry," he said quietly.

"No you're not," she accused him with a slight smile.

"The queen?"

"Visas is with her and looking after Canderous. Vaklu had beaten her, Onasi, and badly."

"Has she said anything?" He asked.

"Not yet. I should go check on her." Jaden said straightening. Being near Carth had steadied her a bit more. "When you make the jump to light speed, set a course for Korriban."

"_KORRIBAN!_" Both Atton and Carth shouted turning to her. The look on their faces would have been comical if she hadn't been serious.

"Um, that's what I said and that's where we need to go."

Atton began to shake his head vehemently. "No! No way."

"Atton . . ." Jaden tried to say something but he steamrolled right over her.

"No, Jaden. I saw what one Sith Lord's tomb did to you. You are _not_ going anywhere near four of them. That place is very strong in the dark side . . ."

"Atton . . ." She tried again

" . . . And I saw you fall quickly and completely to the dark side not two hours ago."

"You and Canderous . . ."

"Canderous is not enough of a deflection for the power of that valley!" Atton nearly shouted at her, "You're injured . . ."

"You're what?" Carth demanded looking over her shoulder quickly.

" . . . And exhausted, and in no shape to go to Korriban."

"Shut up, Atton!" Jaden yelled at him. Atton spun around in the chair and faced forward. He crossed his arms tight against his chest and breathed heavily. His agitation began poking at her and Jaden wondered if he had fallen further than she suspected.

"Jaden," Carth said into the silence.

"I'm fine, Onasi, really." She tried to reassure him.

"Bleeding from a blaster shot to the shoulder is not fine." Atton snapped still not looking at her. Carth reached up and rubbed his right shoulder.

"It's only a graze. As for Korriban, I don't intend to step foot on the planet because you and Canderous can do what needs to be done."

"And what would that be?" He inquired turning to her with narrowed eyes. Jaden cocked her head to the side and studied him. _Yup_, she thought, _further than I had suspected._ She needed Atton firmly on the light side or there was going to be trouble.

"The chamber at the back of the Shyrack cave must be sealed."

"Is that where one of the keys are?" Carth asked as he leveled out the ship and began coordinating the hyperspace route. Some of the fight went out of Atton.

"When we were there with the Exile, Kreia created a . . . breach in the Force. She wanted him to experience the past, present and future to influence his alignment in the Force. As we know, he chose the dark side," Atton explained. Jaden looked at Carth.

"There are . . . natural breaches in the Force," Jaden continued, "That can slowly drain. A wound it is sometimes called. Because Kreia created this breach using the dark side, it's artificial. Instead of draining the Force, it acts as a conduit for the dark side."

"So, Zared could use this breach." Carth asked as he dodged the last remaining fighters.

"Yes, so we go to Korriban," Jaden answered in a no nonsense don't-fight-me tone.

Atton watched Jaden leave the bridge. When he thought it was safe, he turned to Carth. "Well?" He asked. Carth gave him a brief look before pushing a few buttons and sending the Ebon Hawk into hyperspace.

"After you drop us off at Spira, you and Canderous take the Ebon Hawk to Korriban and destroy the cave."

"How are you going to get her off the ship?" Atton asked.

Carth released his restraints and stood up. "Kicking and screaming I imagine," he grinned at Atton. "Call me if Kwyn gets in touch. He could probably provide you with some back-up on his way to Spira to pick up the queen."

"Good luck," Atton told him taking the pilots chair.

"How badly is she hurt?" He asked quietly.

"She did okay, but she wouldn't let me look at it."

Carth rubbed his shoulder again and nodded.

* * *

Canderous was coming from the direction of the small medical bay on the ship when Carth entered the main hold. Both men stopped and took measure of the other. They were older, at different places in their lives, yet they each recognized that the shared experience eight years ago would forever bind them together.

"An Admiral." Canderous said after the few minutes of silence. Like him, Carth was older, maybe wiser, and one of the few in the Republic that Canderous felt any respect toward. Carth's lips twitched.

"_The_ Mandalore."

"It was Jaden's suggestion."

This time Carth shook his head, "Somehow that doesn't surprise me," he muttered.

"And your connection to our Jedi that is not a Jedi?" Canderous asked moving further into the room, the heavy tread of his boots echoing in the empty space.

"Nicely put. She, ah, saved my life."

"Seems to be her specialty," he mumbled quietly. "I'm assuming you know why she busted me out of prison." He stated.

Carth rubbed the back of his neck. "She needs you to maintain her balance in the Force."

"We may not agree on everything, Onasi, and we've had some rousing arguments about it, but you have always been straight with me." Canderous said with a touch of menace.

He studied the armor-clad man and discovered he liked Canderous. He respected him, the man, not the Mandalorian. "I have a theory, but it's a conversation that will involve everyone, and you need to speak with Jaden first."

"Why is that?"

"Well, I'm sure you have questions and she can explain this whole . . . mess better than I could." Carth responded with a sigh as he rolled the tension from his shoulders. While he had respect for Canderous, he wasn't fool enough to totally let down his guard.

"I figure it involves the Sith and the Exile," Canderous said.

"You figured correctly. There's more Canderous and it's her show, for the most part."

"The Republic's not involved?" He asked surprised. Carth was Republic to the core, and here he is telling him they're not involved. Interesting.

Carth went on to explain their side trip to Dxun to draft his men to help Jaden and what he had promised to Kelborn. The Republic didn't know he had aligned them with a former enemy but Jaden needed the help and Canderous to save the galaxy. Carth had added a bit of drama to that part, but then he sighed, "Provided she can pull it off."

"And your part? Atton? The Miraluka?"

"You balance Atton. Visas, is here for support. And me? Well, I'm not entirely sure my part will ever be done."

"You sound like a Jedi. What the hell does that mean?" Canderous snapped.

_If you only knew,_ Carth thought with a sigh and shook his head. "Trust me, its way to complicated."

"So what happens now?"

Carth chuckled at the questions. Canderous had always been a doer, not a questioner. Perhaps he was getting mellow in his old age. Carth smothered his guffaw. "Well, we get to test the theory that you'll deflect my anger away from Jaden."

"Huh?"

"Never mind," he shook his head. "Jaden needs to rest, she exhausted and injured . . ."

"Her shoulder," Canderous said.

"Yeah. Apparently, though, the cave on Korriban needs to be sealed."

"Even I know Jaden can't go to Korriban" Canderous snorted and Carth grinned.

"Exactly. So, we're on our way to Spira where Jaden can rest and my ship can come pick up the queen. I can't force you, Canderous, but if you and Atton can go to Korriban and take care of the cave, then Jaden can rest." When Canderous didn't say anything, Carth added, "Think about it," and moved toward the medical bay.

"I have one question?" Canderous asked. Carth stopped, and with his back to him, closed his eyes. He didn't need to ask what it was, he could feel the mans curiosity about Revan. Jaden must have told him she was dead. It had been a year so why did Revan's death still hurt so much, even knowing of her betrayal? Even though she had been gone for years and only returned to use him, his feelings for her had never dimmed.

"Revan is well and truly dead, Canderous. I . . . witnessed her death," he said and walked away.

"Well, well, well," Canderous whispered as Carth disappeared down the corridor. It will be interesting to find out what exactly happen with Revan. If Jaden told the truth about killing Revan and Carth witnessed it . . . well, he thought, the explanation would have to a doozy. Canderous knew all about Carth's feelings for Revan, hell he had lived with them for a year, so Carth being with the woman who killed his lover was going to be interesting indeed. He wasn't sure he could wait to find out the reason. News was sporadic in the prison and Canderous actually felt like one of those gossipy women that always stuck their nose into other peoples business, something he couldn't abide by. Nevertheless, he wondered how he might be able to take advantage of the situation, but not knowing exactly what the situation was, it would be difficult. At this point, he was just going to have to wait and find out what threat there was to the galaxy that would cause Admiral Onasi to consort with the devil, so to speak.

Canderous hated the Exile, despised the Sith, so perhaps there would be nothing to gain by aligning the Mandalorians with that side. After all, nothing good had come of his previous alliances with the Sith and their leaders. Perhaps, this time, the Jedi way might be the right path to follow. He didn't like taking a wait-and-see attitude, he was a Mandalorian after all. He craved action and results, the battle, the honor, whether he won or lost. _I hope that a loss this time around won't wipe out the Mandalorian race for good,_ he thought.

* * *

Carth entered the med bay to find Visas tending to Queen Talia. She was gently wrapping the queen's arm to keep it immobile. Vaklu hadn't just beaten the woman, he had pummeled her, punished her. Talia's bruises and swelling made Carth ache just to look at her.

"How is she?" He asked softly. Visas looked up from her ministrations.

"Besides the obvious, she has some internal injuries, cracked ribs, her arm is broken and her left ankle is shattered. I've healed her as much as I can within my power."

"Is she going to live?"

"Yes, but she had also suffered brain trauma, so her mental state, at this point is in question," Visas said as she continued to wrap Talia's arm.

"Is she able to speak? Has she said anything?" He asked moving closer to the examination table.

"She awoke briefly, but Jaden out her into a healing sleep."

"Healing sleep? I've never heard of that." Carth said surprised.

"I suppose you could say it is like a coma, but in this instance, Jaden can awaken her when needed. It's a technique used to spare someone from pain so that the body can heal itself."

"Well, isn't that what a coma is?" He drolled as his suspicious nature reared it's ugly head.

"Some people never come out of a coma. The queen will awaken when her body has healed sufficiently that the pain will be gone."

"Or Jaden awakens her?" He asked suspiciously. Visas sighed.

"Admiral, this is not what Jaden did to you. You were dead and she restored your life. Let go for a moment and you will understand the difference," Visas encouraged him.

Carth wasn't aware he had been blocking anything but then again, he wasn't truly a Jedi either. He stepped closer to the table and concentrated on the queen. It didn't take long for the woman's agony to assault him, causing him to stagger back a few steps. Carth squeezed his eyes shut and thought of something else until the painful sensation abated. "All right," he said quietly dragging air into his aching lungs. "I think I understand the difference."

"We may have the ability to heal, but as you know, Jaden has the ability to give life."

"Or take it," Carth said softly. "What happened in Iziz?"

"I'm not sure, Carth. I never felt her fall, it was instant."

He was surprised by the use of his name instead of 'Admiral'. "What do you mean?" He asked as he rubbed the tingling sensation from his nose. The pain had faded, but left a raging headache in its place.

"Mandalore is dark sided, but not so much that a few light sided acts do not get through," Visas said with a faint smile. "The Exile was dark, Kreia even more so. When you get angry, I can . . . sense the depth of your anger as it grows." She said quietly.

"But?"

"There was nothing. As I said, I did not feel her fall or at least not as far as she had. That worries me, Carth. Does this mean that the dark side, the pure dark energy, as you called it, is the same as pure light energy?"

He shrugged and shook his head. How the hell was he suppose to know? He couldn't feel the difference between light and dark himself and if Jaden hadn't shown him the difference, he wouldn't have thought twice about it. He'd been a 'Jedi' for a year now and still couldn't get a sense of what side someone belonged to.

"She was angry, we all were. Vaklu had . . . murdered Talia's supporters. One of the commanders had come from the turret; he was rather please with himself. I never felt the dark side until I touched her arm. I asked her to let it go," Visas looked at him, "She said no, and destroyed the turret and the soldiers. She could have only done that much destruction if she had truly fallen as far as you think. Atton yelled her name, but she destroyed another one. It wasn't until he grabbed her that she seemed to snap out of it."

"And afterwards?" Carth asked her.

"Nothing. Jaden had returned to a balanced state, or as balanced as she could be without Canderous as far as I could tell."

He said nothing more because he didn't know what to say, so he changed the subject. "When was she shot?"

"I don't know. Atton noticed it when we were in the prison."

"Did you treat her when she was in here?"

Visas shook her head as she reached for a medical kit and handed it to him. "She wouldn't let me."

"Is Jaden going to be impossible now that she's . . . balanced?" He asked slinging the kit over his shoulder. Visas smiled at him.

"I thought you enjoyed a challenge."

Carth rolled his eyes and snorted as he left the med bay.

* * *

Jaden entered her quarters and sat heavily on the bunk. She was exhausted and wired at the same time. Her arm ached and she could still feel the onslaught of souls from Onderon trying to reach the Force.

_~~ Why is this happening? ~~_ She asked knowing something was wrong.

~~ _With each key, he will grow stronger and your symmetry will begin to shift towards darkness._ ~~

~~ _The dark side will consume me, as I was on Onderon? ~~_

~~ _Flashes of darkness, Child, may occur as it did on the planet. The time is almost at hand._ ~~

~~ _These . . . flashes, Masters, will I endanger him or my friends? _~~

~~ _Sacrifice is needed to restore the galaxy._ ~~

~~ _But if I harm him, kill him before I meet Zared, then all is lost, is it not?_ ~~

There was no answer and Jaden was beginning to understand why Carth hated 'Jedi speak' so much.

~~ _The souls returning to me, it was not their time. I can feel their anger._ ~~

_~~ That is why you are in pain. _~~

~~ _Why didn't I see this? Masters, will I become blind as well?_ ~~

~~ _You must remember, Child, that deception is a trick of the dark side. _~~

"Great," Jaden mumbled, "Now I can't even trust myself."

~~ _Trust him, Child._ ~~

Jaden sighed and closed her eyes and let her head fall back. "But he doesn't trust me. Not fully," she said softly then added, "I know it is because of the me, the Force that he does not trust easily."

~~ _Yet he continues to put his life in your hands, to heed your counsel._ ~~

Jaden chuckled and opened her eyes. "Then we're both in trouble because I'm not sure I know what I am doing anymore."

~~ _Trust him, Child._ ~~ And with that, Jaden knew she was alone. She touched, was part of all living creatures, yet she was alone. The pain was beginning to ease but she didn't know if it was from distance or if the Midiclorians were taking some of the burden. Jaden was thankful either way and now all she had to deal with was the ache from her arm.

She groaned as she maneuvered her left arm out of the jacket, squeaked as she pulled it away from the wound on her right shoulder, and let it fall to the floor. Jaden couldn't really see the damage to her arm as she turned her head so she stood and went to the small mirror besides the shower tube. She grimaced when she saw the blood soaked sleeve of Carth's shirt. "Guess I owe you another one," she muttered as she turned her shoulder toward the mirror.

The gash was visible with dried blood, charred flesh and burnt material apparent. This was going to hurt. Her right arm was becoming stiff and she winced as she raised it to unbutton the shirt. A fine sheen of sweat broke out on her brow as she slowly worked the shirt open and shrugged it off her left shoulder. Jaden placed her hands on the sink and breathed heavily.

That's how Carth found her, his shirt hanging from her right shoulder, exposing a fitted tank undershirt and flawless flesh coated in a fine sweat. Blood covered her shoulder and part of her right side. He pushed aside his anger and schooled his features to hide his emotions.

"If you keep ruining my shirts, I'm going to have nothing to wear," he said casually as he leaned against the doorjamb. Jaden's head snapped up and their eyes met in the mirror. Although he was trying, Jaden could sense the anger and fear in him. He wasn't angry with her, though, he was angry that she had been hurt. Jaden felt something shift within her, something warm and tender.

"If I ruin your shirts, I'll get you naked quicker," Jaden said with a slight smile. His lips quirked as he pushed away from the door and went to her.

"Then I better start wearing yours so we'll be even." He said as he warmed the water and wet a towel. "Here," he added as he folded it and placed it over the wound. "Hold this on there and go sit down."

"Carth," Jaden said softly as she raised her left hand to hold the towel in place. He leaned forward and kissed her gently on the brow telling her to go. She began to step away, but changed her mind and stepped closer to him only to find herself gently enfolded her in his arms. She drew from his strength as she breathed in his scent. Some of the pain began to fade away.

Carth let Jaden draw what strength she could from him and, he reluctantly thought, he drew from her. She had repeatedly told him there was no bond, but something had to exist between them. Jaden was literally a part of him and he could feel her pain, but it was different than before. Previously, the pain had been in his shoulder. Now, it was throughout his body, part ache, part stabbing.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"I will be. It's better now," she whispered.

"Let's get your arm taken care of," he said releasing her and guiding her to the bunk. Jaden sat down with a heavy sigh. "Why didn't you let Visas take care of it?" He asked as he retrieved the med kit from the table by the door.

"She's taking care of the queen," Jaden answered watching him.

"The queen who's in a healing sleep?" He asked as he grabbed one of the low stools and set it beside her. He straddled the stool and looked at Jaden.

"Her wounds still need to be tended," she said softly as he opened the kit and found a pair of scissors. He began cutting the right sleeve away from the wound.

"No, keep it there," he told her when Jaden began to remove the towel. "It'll help loosen the dried blood." Jaden grimaced at the image but did what he said.

"You know, you could make a fortune with your healing sleep." He said as he continued to work carefully. He needed to concentrate on something else besides the bloody and ragged mess that was her shoulder. He wasn't comfortable with the feelings seeing her hurt evoked.

"How's that?"

"Well, you could hang around outside of cantinas, and for a few credits, you could offer a healing sleep to those that drank too much." Carth flashed a quick grin and looked at her, "Sleep through the hangover." _Keep it light._

"Ten credits?"

"There have been times Kwyn and I would have paid more," he answered. His grin this time was full of fondness for times past. The voice was melancholy now, and it broke Jaden's heart. Would she ever be able to make up for what was done to him?

"I can't really picture the reluctant war hero and stalwart soldier being drunk." Jaden said watching him as he carefully cut around her wound.

"I was young . . . once." He muttered with a fake scowl. Jaden chuckled.

"How long have you known Kwyn?"

"When he gets on my case it's too long, but close to twenty years. We met at the academy and then a few years later, served on the same cruiser during the Mandalorian War," he said as he set aside the scissors and then moved her hand to take away the towel. He studied the gash, lightly poking around it. Each time he did Jaden winced and Carth could feel the pain in his own shoulder. This was going to hurt.

"Well?" She asked when he stopped poking and sat back studying her shoulder. The suspense was worse than one of the mystery books she used to read during the long winters in the Valley. It was one of the few non-Force things she was allowed to read and she would lose herself for hours in the twists and turns of the plot.

Carth placed his hand on her shoulder, grabbing the small bit of fabric near the top. "Well, we're going to need to discuss this bond that is not a bond." And having said that, Carth quickly captured her lips and yanked down on the fabric, ripping it away from the wound as one would quickly pull off a bandage.

Jaden's cry of pain was muffled by the kiss, but he couldn't hide the tensing of his body as their shared pain ripped down his right arm. They broke apart, each grasping for breath.

"You were hurt?" She asked and reached out to touch his shoulder. Carth reared away from her.

"No!" He barked looking at her. "Stop healing me, Jaden."

_Uh oh,_ she thought as she let her hand fall back to her lap. She didn't need to touch him to heal, that was a bonus, but she would heal him. Now, she needed to figure out why he was experiencing everything she did. "You knew? You felt . . .." She asked wondering if she would ever stop hurting him. It was one more layer for her guilt.

"The moment it happened and every time you bumped it. I knew something was wrong but it wasn't until Atton said you were shot that I understood."

"I'm sorry, Carth." She said softly. "There is no bond, though."

"Jaden, you're a part of me," he said ignoring the other meaning of that statement. "I know what I felt, what I feel." He added as he leaned forward again and reached into the med kit. He ripped open a package and took out the sterilized pads to clean the gash that had begun bleeding again. Jaden winced at the stinging but kept silent.

"What happened?" He asked softly as he continued to clean away the blood. When she didn't answer he looked up to find her looking away from him and seemingly at nothing. He reached over, caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers then gently turned her face toward him. He could still feel the ache emanating from her but he didn't say anything. "Tell me sweetheart."

"They didn't deserve to die like that. None of them did, and I didn't see it."

"You said they would be . . . they would die if they went up against Vaklu." He didn't need to remind her she said slaughtered. It was obvious she was upset about what happened.

"But the rest . . . I didn't see the rest," Jaden stressed on a whisper.

"Tell me," he said after giving her a quick kiss and then returned to tending her arm.

"I would have done it differently if I had known what was going to happen . . ." she began and related what went on.

"So you were shot after you destroyed the turrets." He asked when Jaden had finished. He was still cleaning out the small bits of fabric in the gash. "Why didn't you say anything?"

Jaden shrugged and answered, "I didn't think it was that bad." He stalled his movements and gave her a quick look. "Honest, Onasi, I didn't. It was a brief pain and was gone as quickly as it came."

"Was it before or after your . . . fall to the dark side?" He asked sitting back and looking at her. Jaden sighed.

"After. I was still combating the effects of the darkness, the soldiers who shot at us, who shot me; the . . . impulse to destroy them was strong. It was interfering with my concentration." Jaden said looking away from him. She didn't know how he would react to her falling to the dark side and she didn't want to see Carth's disappointment.

"Jaden, look at me," he said taking her hand. She sighed and did as he requested. There wasn't disappointment but concern . . . and his ever present suspicion.

"Zared found the key." She told him quietly.

"Meaning?"

Jaden wasn't quite sure how to explain something she didn't understand entirely. Ironic, really, Jaden was the Force and yet even she didn't understand herself. "Meaning . . ." she sighed, "Think of an open door and a breeze coming through." She told him utilizing Visas's analogy. "By finding the key, Zared had opened a door and allowed more of the dark side to come through."

Carth nodded as he puzzled through her explanation. "And because you're . . . unbalanced," he said returning Jaden's quick grin. "It affected you quickly."

Jaden bobbled her head, "Yeah. That and I _was_ angry at what Vaklu had done."

Carth reached into the medical kit and pulled out a jar of salve. He opened it and began applying some of the ointment to the gash. "So when Atton grabbed you, he pulled you back to the center. Light countering dark."

"How did you . . .? Atton talks to much." She muttered with a scowl. Carth raised a brow.

"It was Visas."

"Visas talks to much. However, no, Atton didn't pull me back to the center. Atton absorbed the dark side."

Carth gaze flew to her. "What?"

"Dark side energy that pure will dominate anyone's alignment. Atton did not infuse any light side to me. He fell to the dark side. That's why he became so angry when you explained how you found me," Jaden told him. "And his reaction on the bridge a little while ago."

"How do you know this? More importantly, does Atton know he has fallen to the dark side? Does this mean there is still and imbalance for you?" He demanded.

Jaden smiled at him. "One question at a time, Onasi." He frowned at her. "First I know because I'm an embodier," and she left it at that. "Second, he did feel the dark side sneak in but doesn't suspect how much got through. Promise me you'll say nothing to him." She stopped to wait for his answer. He nodded but it was reluctant.

"What was the third question? Oh yes, balance. No. Atton, in time, will return to his full alignment, he's mostly there now as the dark energy is fading, so I am in balance and will remain so, for now."

"Just don't piss him off?" Carth asked not sure he trusted her answer. He put away the ointment and took out some bandages.

"Something like that," she shrugged then grimaced.

Before Carth could say anything more, Canderous appeared in the doorway. "Atton asked me to tell you General Lavek has made contact."

Carth looked between the Mandalorian and Jaden. "I need to talk to him," he told her.

"Go." She said and Carth nodded.

"Can you finish this?" He asked Canderous.

"Yeah. Jaden and I need to talk anyway."


	18. Chapter 17

Carth paused outside the room and rolled his shoulders. _One day,_ he thought as he continued on to the bridge, _I'll catch up and understand all this stuff._ However, until then, he had other things to do so when he reached the bridge, he had his communicator in his hand.

"Did we lose Kwyn?" He waved the device when Atton looked over his shoulder.

"No. Channel five, " he answered as he nodded toward the other chair. "I don't think he's alone."

"Now what?" Carth mumbled annoyed as he sat in the other chair and punched the appropriate button, "Onasi."

"It's about time, Admiral," a strange voice boomed over the channel.

"Senator Irudu," Kwyn quickly cut in, "I told you the Admiral was doing an inspection of the Sojourn's hyper drive and it would take time for him to get here."

Carth and Atton exchanged glances. "I'm here now, Senator Irudu, so what can I do for you?"

The Senator immediately launched into how the Onderon government wasn't going to stand by while the Republic and Jedi Council did nothing about the attack by a Republic vessel and the Jedi. He demanded to know why the Sojourn wasn't out hunting down the perpetrator of the attempted overthrow of General Vaklu. When Carth tried to cut in, Irudu went on about how the Senate would hear of this and his failure to take action. He gave a helpless look to Atton and tried again to get a word in while the Senator ranted and raved.

"Lavek cut him off!" Carth finally demanded when it became clear Irudu did not intend to slow his ranting. A moment later, there was silence.

"That didn't take Vaklu long," Atton said softly.

"Carth," Kwyn said with a sigh, "I don't know what happened on Onderon, but the shit has hit the fan. What is going on?"

"Later. Tell me what you know?" He answered taking a deep breath.

Kwyn's sigh again, "Not much. Irudu caught me off guard with his tirade. Apparently, he has been to the Jedi Council because I received word that Master Vandar is on his way to meet us at Dantooine. We found Bastila, by the way. She's alive, but barely and some of the them didn't make it."

"That's a good thing about Bastila." Carth said. "Do you know what Vandar wants?"

"No. I just got word that he was on his way to Dantooine to meet up with us," Kwyn told him.

"Great," Carth said with tolerance. "Put the Senator back on." There was a brief crackle of static.

" . . . The Mandalorians!"

"Senator Irudu, that's enough!" Carth shouted when it became apparent that Irudu did not realize he'd been cut off and seemed likely to just continue.

"How dare you . . ."

"I said enough!" Carth rubbed his temples as his low-grade headache suddenly sharpened, as if a hundred hammers had started beating their way out of his head. When Atton asked after him, he looked at him and wondered briefly if Atton's shift to the dark side was causing it, but he felt nothing. That didn't mean much, since he rarely felt anything from any of the Jedi. He took a few shallow breaths, willed the pain back and shook his head, "I'm alright."

"Senator, what is it you would like me to do. The Sojourn is at Dantooine, not near Onderon."

"Haven't you been listening? I've repeatedly told you to find that ship!"

"What ship, Senator?" Carth grimaced when he asked again. No, he hadn't been listening. He had keys to find, a valley to protect, a galaxy to save and a woman to figure out.

"The Ebon Hawk."

"The Ebon Hawk is a freighter, Senator, not a Republic ship." Kwyn put in.

"A freighter with that type of fire power? I think not!" Irudu's contempt was clear in his deep voice.

Carth tried to say something more, but Irudu had wound himself up again and was now ranting about the Ebon Hawk and several Jedi attacking Iziz. He went on about how the ship had massacred innocent civilians on their way to a wedding and then broke into the prison and released one of the prisoners.

"One of the prisoners?" Carth asked with his eyes closed. The pounding in his head had abated back to a dull ache.

"It took some time to . . . quell the riot, but we determined they took that murderous Mandalorian, Mandalore."

"Say that three times fast," Atton whispered then shook his head and added, "There was no riot."

"Admiral Onasi, has the Republic stooped to dealing with the Mandalorians? That they would break a known traitor out of prison?" Irudu asked and Carth could hear the sneer in his tone.

"Senator, I would be very careful about making accusations," he responded in a low and dangerous tone. He loved his service to the Republic Navy, the change to make a difference. It wasn't until he accepted the promotion that he learned the downside was dealing with the politicians. If he had known . . .

"If the government of Onderon does not get any action on this issue, we may be forced to take matters into our own hands," Irudu said in a smug tone.

"Meaning?" Kwyn asked.

"Did you really think that General Vaklu isn't aware of the Mandalorians on Dxun? He is not about to let this go unpunished."

Carth tipped his head back and closed his eyes, "Senator, you just accused the Republic and the Jedi of breaking Mandalore out of prison. What does any of that have to do with the Dxun moon?"

"It's obvious that the Republic and the Jedi are working with the Mandalorians to overthrow General Vaklu. It's no secret that the Republic would like to see Vaklu out of power so they could reinstall the renegade queen to the throne," Irudu said.

"No one knows where the queen is, Senator. She's gone into hiding." Kwyn interjected.

"General Lavek, I am not stupid," he snapped. "The Onderon government knows that the Republic is harboring the queen on Coruscant."

Carth and Atton exchanged looks. "Senator, if I understand your . . . threat correctly, if the Republic doesn't find the Ebon Hawk and these alleged Jedi, you're going to attack the Dxun moon?"

"It is not alleged, Admiral."

"How do you know it wasn't the Sith? They would be more likely to align themselves with the Mandalorians." Carth asked in a tired voice.

"After the events of the past, Admiral, I trust my government knows the difference between the Sith and the Jedi. There are no Sith on Onderon."

Atton mumbled, "Not any more." Carth couldn't stop his grin and sighed again. He let Irudu vent some more, mimicking what he thought his facial features and gestures would be. He was getting too old for this.

"Senator, with all due respect, shut up!" Carth final yelled and could hear Irudu sputtering his outrage and Kwyn's chuckle. "Everything you have told me is hearsay and speculation. How do I know it wasn't your own troops who attacked innocent civilians and faked a prison escape just to pick a fight with the Republic? After all, I'm not stupid, Senator. The Republic knows that Vaklu would like nothing more than to be independent of Coruscant," he said echoing Irudu's tone and words of a few moments ago.

"Admiral Onasi!" Irudu's shouted his outrage.

"You are in no position to order me to do anything," Carth told him in his best pissed-off-Admiral voice. "The Sojourn is not at your disposal and neither am I. I will contact the Republic liaison in Iziz and get his side of the story. If he can corroborate the events you described then we will investigate further."

"So you would let the Ebon Hawk get away." Irudu's disbelief was clear.

Carth and Atton looked around the bridge of the ship. He could see the Jedi's shoulders shake with mirth and he couldn't stop the smile, but his tone, when he spoke again, was filled with barely disguised loathing. "As I said, the Sojourn is nowhere near Onderon and if I happen to come across the Ebon Hawk near Korriban or on the way to Spira, I'll investigate. Take it or leave it, Irudu. Until I speak to my man on Onderon, that is all I'm willing to do at this time. If you think there is going to be some discrepancy in the events, then perhaps you should mention them now." Carth only waited a moment before adding, "No? Good. You do not want to pick a fight with the Republic, the Jedi, or me. Onasi out," he said shortly and cut the Senator off mid-rant. The silence stretched for a few minutes while Carth stared out the window.

"Contact Kelborn. Let him know what might be headed his way," he said to Atton.

"Who's Kelborn?" Kwyn asked.

"He's leading the Mandalorians on Dxun," Atton said. "He's not going to like this. He's going to want protection."

"Yeah? Well my heart is bleeding," Carth said sardonically. "Unless he's willing to evacuate, he had better have his stealth field generator charged and a good hiding place. I've kept my end of the bargain." Carth began rubbing his eyes, "Damn I'm exhausted," he muttered.

"Bargain?" Kwyn asked with resignation. He wasn't going to like the answer and he too was exhausted. With the destruction on Dantooine, Irudu and now having to place host to Master Vandar, Kwyn wasn't sure when a good nights sleep would be possible. All he wanted was quality time with his pillow.

"Later."

-----

Canderous took Carth's place on the stool and handed the bandages to Jaden. She took them silently and watched as he muscled off his gloves. His fingers were heavily scarred, raw and pasty from being incased all these years. Many of the nails were missing, the others black from damage. When he flexed his fingers, Jaden could hear the bones and joints crack.

"Why is he here?"

"Which he? Atton or Carth?" Jaden responded as she handed him back the bandages.

"Onasi. He said Atton was here to balance me, but he wasn't sure his part would ever be done, whatever the hell that means," he said as he began to cut the bandage to the size he needed. His voice sounded hollow through the helmet.

"It means I'm trying to spare his life, but I don't know if I'll be able to."

"Cut the Jedi speak," he snapped.

"I'm not a Jedi, it's forbidden to me, just as being a Sith is." _Ugh, she was tired of saying that._

"Could have fooled me; if you're not a Jedi or a Sith, then what are you?" He asked looking at the wound and then placing the bandage over it. Jaden automatically reached over to hold it in place.

"I am the Force," she said and Canderous turned his head to look at her, "The light side point, if you will. My counterpart, the dark side, is the man you know as the Exile."

Canderous reached into the med kit for some tape. When he didn't say anything, Jaden sighed.

"Do you want the story or the facts?"

"Facts."

"My home is the Valley of the Jedi. The Midiclorians, what make up the Force, sensed an imbalance that began with the Mandalorian wars, grew with the Jedi Civil war and finally began to show itself with the return of the Exile."

"When he destroyed that witch Kreia on Malachor V," he said tearing the tape from the roll.

"No," she said, "Her death, surprisingly enough stopped the galaxy's tip to the dark side." Jaden shook her head. "If she had killed herself the galaxy would be a different place and let's leave it at that."

Canderous nodded. He wasn't going to pretend he cared because he didn't. He didn't know the Force and didn't want to. It had betrayed him.

"The threat was still there, however, and the decision was made that I should try and find what it was. So, I left the Valley of the Jedi and began my search."

"Why is it called the Valley of the Jedi if you are not a Jedi?" He asked.

"Do you really want an ancient history lesson?" She answered with a grin. Canderous shook his head as he taped one side of the bandage.

"Good, because it bores even me." Moreover, she had lived it in one fashion or another. She went on, "My travels eventually took me to the Sith home world where I found Revan and the Exile, General Zared. He was leading the Sith and Revan was at his side. So, I joined them for a time and eventually learned that Zared was searching for the Valley and that he had discovered he was my counterpart."

"What would happen is Zared found this Valley?" He asked.

"I would be vanquished and the galaxy would plunge into darkness."

"So no Republic," he stated. Jaden chuckled at him. _Always scheming,_ she thought.

No Republic, no Sith Empire, no Mandalorians to step into the vacuum of power. Only despair, anarchy, torment and a seemingly endless purgatory, led by one man."

"I think you under estimate . . ." Jaden cut him off with the wave of her hand and Canderous immediately grabbed his head to stop the pounding of a hundred hammers. The noise, amplified by his helmet, had him thinking his head was going to fly off his shoulders.

"That is only a taste, Canderous. How long do you think you, or anyone, could live like that?" She asked then released him. Jaden waited while his breathing steadied. "Do not doubt that if I fail, life as you know it will cease to be. The oppression inherent in the dark side, will eventually destroy whatever hope people have and it would be a long time before the light returned."

Canderous shook his head a few times to chase away the pain then returned his attention to her arm and asked why. Jaden told him that he had the right to know what he was up against, what the price of failure would be. Any dreams he had of rebuilding the Mandalorians would die right along side him. She told him he was welcome to watch the recording T3 carried and explained about learning of their plan and returning to the Republic.

"I was almost too late. Revan had found Carth and she was going to use him to help find the Valley. When he saw her he called out, naturally, and it distracted her enough that her . . . control over the attack was lost. A portion of a nearby building collapsed and seriously injured Dustil and killed the Admiral," she told him matter-of-factly. Canderous sat back stunned and looked at her. Jaden could envision his eyes narrowed behind the beat-up silver helmet.

"He, ah, looks remarkably healthy for a dead guy."

"I restored his life."

"Restored?"

Jaden sighed and continued to explain about her need to hide and how she gave Carth part of herself in order to do that. When Canderous told her that Carth had said he witnessed Revan's death, Jaden explained about how Carth had relieved her memory of that day.

Canderous said nothing as he finished the wrap on her arm. "He can use the Force," he stated. "He's a Jedi."

'Yes," she sighed, "He can use the force. He has been trained in the ways of Jedi, but he will always be the reluctant war hero," Jaden said with a fond smile.

He began to chuckle at the irony of it all. "After everything the Force has done to his life, he winds up using it."

Jaden frowned at him. She was tired of hearing _this_ statement as well. It was not all her fault. "It also restored his life and saved your sorry ass," she said peevishly.

"I don't know if you can understand the irony of it." He said still chuckling.

"It's not lost on me, Canderous. I understand more than you know. You see, in order to defeat Zared, I'm going to have to take back what I gave him. It could kill him, so don't tell me I don't understand!" She snapped.

"Does he know that?" Canderous demanded. He and Carth didn't always agree, but he liked him; considered him one of the few humans he could call a friend.

"Yes, and expects me to do so. I, on the other hand, am trying to avoid it. You're not the only one with dreams of the future."

"And once again, the Force betrays him if you do and betrays the galaxy if you don't."

Jaden looked at him. Such anger, she felt. He had a right to his feelings but it didn't ease her own conscience to know what she had allowed to happen to him. She reached out and took his gnarled hands. "The Force doesn't always betray, Canderous. It also heals," she said softly and closed her eyes.

Canderous had lost most of the feeling in his hands and body. Revan had damaged his healing mods when she tortured him and left him to die, so his shock at feeling warmth and a small tingle begin in his fingers and work its way through his body was stunning to say the least. He looked down and saw his hands were slowly healing. The scars were fading, the sores closing and color was returning to his flesh. What he saw, he could feel happening throughout his body. Canderous watched as Jaden slowly let go of his hands and released a quiet breath.

"How? Why?" He asked realizing his voice was stronger and sounded younger.

"Hasn't the Force betrayed you as well?" Jaden told him softly. "Don't you deserve a second chance? I've made mistakes, Canderous I know that. If I can correct them I will." _One kindness at a time._

Not sure, what to say to that or really understanding what it meant, he stood up and stepped away from her.

"Canderous, please sit down. You need to know the rest; what's been happening."

-----

Atton watched Carth stare out the window for almost thirty minutes after they had disconnected the communication from the Sojourn. Carth hadn't contacted Captain Locke and he didn't comment when Atton contacted Kelborn on Dxun. In fact, no one had spoken, not even the droids, in that time.

"You know," Atton began his voice sounding unusually loud, "If you stare too long at the hyperspace warp, you can go insane." When Carth still didn't answer he added, "Or mute."

It was several more minutes before Carth said, "None of this would have happened if Jaden hadn't saved my life."

"Dwoo."

"You don't know that," Atton told him cautiously.

"Maybe, maybe not," he muttered. "I know if I was dead, I wouldn't be sitting here contemplating lying to my best friend," he added with a sigh.

"Query: Lie about what, Admiral?" HK asked. Carth looked over his shoulder at the droid.

"Any of it. None of it. I don't want to put him in a position where he has to lie to protect either himself or me. There's also the chance he will be killed." _Haven't I lost enough people who are close to me? About to lose even more?_

"The odds are pretty good we'll all be killed," Atton pointed out.

"Confused inquiry: If that is the case, why would the Master allow this? She can . . ." HK stopped speaking when Atton stiffened and shot the droid a nasty look.

"Self-preservation, HK." Carth said oblivious and stood before adding, "Even you have self-preservation protocols. I need to eat, you coming." He asked Atton.

"Out of those synthesizers?" He answered making a grim face.

"I had them replaced when they repaired the ship after Jaden crashed on the deck of the Sojourn."

"Really?" Atton asked hopeful.

"I knew . . . I knew I . . ." Carth said slowly.

"You knew what?" Atton asked cautiously, turning to him. Carth had a strange look on his face but said nothing, only shook his head as if to clear it. He asked again if Atton was coming.

"In a minute," Atton answered and then waited until Carth left the bridge before turning to HK.

"He doesn't know so when you say things like you did about Jaden allowing this to happen . . ."

"Curious inquiry: the Admiral does not know that the Master is the Force, the living Force?"

"Dwoo."

"No and it's up to her to tell him. Just . . . be careful what you say in a situation like that."

"Query: Then what does he know?"

"That Jaden is powerful, so powerful that she appears to embody the Force, not that she is its embodiment." _Nor,_ he silently added, _does Carth realize how powerful he has become._

"Dwoo. Beep, boop, broop?"

"Yeah, droid, I don't think he would be to happy to know that."

"Confusion: Won't he find out when she faces the Exile?" HK asked.

"Well, he'll either be dead or Jaden will be gone." Atton answered.

-----

"And that's where we are now." Carth heard Jaden say as he approached the cabin. He stayed outside and listened while Canderous argued with her. He didn't believe she had told him everything. Jaden insisted she had and asked what he thought she could be holding back. Carth could hear the resignation in her tone and frowned.

"I'm no expert on the Force, but even I know any one who leans towards the dark-side would have worked to off-set Atton's light side. I'm here for another reason."

Carth, sensing Jaden would deny it, moved into the doorway, "I agree."

Jaden watched as he moved into the room and stood beside Canderous. Something had happened and it was subtle but she recognized the change within Carth.

"Why is Canderous here, really here for?" He asked quietly. Jaden continued to study and then tipped her head to the side a little and told him, "You know why."

Canderous looked at both of them and then frowned behind his helmet. Jaden had made the statement sound like a new discovery. "Well, I don't know why," he stated angrily.

"You're one of the keys, Canderous, or knows where it is," Carth told him while he held Jaden's gaze.

"A key? Like to the Valley of the Jedi? I don't know where any key is," he insisted.

Jaden broke the eye contact with Carth when she jumped up and turned away from them wrapping her arms around her middle.

"You may not realize it, but you do," Carth told him. "The Exile is going to realize it as well when word of your . . . escape reaches him. He now has one, and we have another."

"Is this true?" Canderous demanded looking at her back. Jaden nodded. "So once again, I'm being used . . . by the Force, only it's the light side this time."

"No," Carth said quickly, "you're being protected."

Canderous wasn't sure he saw it that way, but he didn't say anything. When Carth asked to give them a minute, he nodded curtly. "Visas said she'd make some dinner. You can use the forward cabin to clean up."

"Do the others know?" Canderous asked before leaving. Carth nodded.

When Canderous was gone, he walked over to Jaden and took her in his arms. "I'm not as smart and clever as I think, am I."

"Yes you are," she said turning to lay her head on his shoulder. "It's just a little stronger, that's all."

"Then why do I know you restored the Force to Katarr? Why do I know you healed Canderous? Why did I just spend thirty minutes staring out a window and hearing voices tell me these things?"

"I don't know." _What did you do? _

"Jaden," he sighed kissing her brow.

"I don't know, Carth. I can only guess." _Masters?_

"And your guess?"

When Jaden received no response, she really could only guess. "What you have tried so hard to bury is reawakening. Traveling with me and the others is causing the Force within you to grow stronger." She didn't add that as she became weaker, he would grow stronger. Trust him, she had been told, and now Jaden was beginning to understand why.

They held each other in silence for several minutes, holding their own counsel. Atton yelling that the grub was on and Visas's smart retort finally caused Jaden to reluctantly step away. "You told the others about Canderous?" She asked reaching for her jacket.

"Yeah. We need to discuss what happens next." He took the jacket and held it for her.

"I told you what we need to do."

"You did," Carth said slowly. She started to say something then stopped. Carth raised a brow.

"What?" She asked, "It's an important discussion for everyone," she added before kissing his cheek. He pulled her close and kissed her deeply.

Sensation after sensation flowed through her making her feel stronger than she had in days. Jaden felt whole when Carth held her. She was at peace and at the same time she felt edgy, desperate, and wanting. When he ended the kiss, Jaden sighed and rested her forehead on his chest. She took slow and steady breaths as she willed her body back to normal. "If I had known cooperating would get me kissed like that, I would have cooperated much sooner," she said lifting her head and looking at him.

Carth grinned at her. "I thought I would see if I liked you balanced better than . . ."

"Unbalanced? And?" Jaden asked as she fiddled with the collar of his shirt.

His smile became tender as he brushed the hair from her eyes. "I just like you," he whispered, then shook his head slightly. "Despite it all; balanced or unbalanced."

"Thanks . . . I think," she said with a curious frown. Carth shrugged and gave her a well-that's-how-it-is look. "Okay then. Let's go eat."


	19. Chapter 18

Visas had set out places at the round communications console in the main hold. Atton was already seated and digging into something that actually looked appetizing. Jaden leaned over Atton's shoulder and sniffed. "Where did that come from?" She asked sitting next to him. The aroma was heavenly and caused her stomach to growl. Hunger wasn't something she normally thought about, but the gnawing empty pit in her stomach was demanding satisfaction.

"Thank the Admiral," he said as he continued to shovel in the food. Jaden looked at Carth who gave her back a quick rub before sitting beside her.

"You ruined the others when you crashed on the Sojourn." He picked up a fork, sniffed the food, and dug in.

"That," Atton said leaning forward and looking at him, "And you knew you would be eating out of the old ones if you didn't." Jaden quickly looked at Carth but he kept eating.

"How is your arm?" Visas asked when she joined them.

"Much better. Dr. Onasi and Dr. Ordo did a good job patching me up."

Atton scoffed, Visas smiled and Carth frowned in embarrassment. He had done enough battlefield dressings in his life he didn't think twice about what to do. That thought made him frown, but he pushed it aside.

"But apparently not as good a Jaden," Canderous said joining them. He stood in the doorway dressed in buff colored pants and a blue shirt Jaden recognized as one of Carth's. It was a little small for him but at least it wasn't the armor he had been forced into by Revan's cruelty. Jaden knew he would wear it again, but at least now, it was because he was Mandalore, the leader of the Mandalorian clans and not a necessity for his survival. He would get stronger and continue to heal in the days ahead. The scars along his left cheek would fade in time, as would the ones barely visible beneath the shirt that ran in a crisscross pattern across his chest. Jaden hoped his hair would grow back, a balding Canderous was not a good look for him, but she had to be satisfied that she'd done all she could.

"Nice to see your ugly mug," Atton said around a bite.

"Sit," Visas told him, "I'm sure something besides prison food would be welcomed."

As he moved to sit down Carth leaned toward Jaden, "Well done," he told her quietly. She looked at him and smiled.

"How is the queen?" Canderous asked as he began to eat.

Jaden closed her eyes for a few moments. "She is healing. A few more days."

Atton looked at Jaden and asked if she would remember what happened.

"She should," Carth said then frowned. Jaden reached over and touched his arm. Atton and Visas exchanged looks but didn't say anything. It was obvious that Carth was uncomfortable with his growth in the Force. When Atton and Visas had discussed the change a few minutes ago, they had to wonder what effect it was having on Jaden. If she were getting weaker and Carth getting stronger, what effect would this have on the mission? More importantly, was Jaden going to be strong enough to retrieve her power when it came time to meet Zared?

The conversation turned to Carth's conversation with Kwyn and Atton related what was said. Each offered their opinion of the senator and his demands but when Visas inquired about what the Republic would do, Carth could only shrug. He knew they would need to speak with the queen and Vaklu wasn't going to just step down. It was going to be a fight, and not one Carth relished. Onderon was the key to the many rebuilding projects the Republic was undertaking, especially Telos.

"Well, there's nothing we can do about it so what do we do in the mean time?" Canderous asked.

Carth pushed his plate away and looked at Jaden. "In the meantime, we still have a key to find and a cave to seal."

"Didn't we decide the third key was irrelevant?" Atton asked. "Zared has one, we have the other," he said looking at Canderous, "Even if he found the other key, he wouldn't have a complete map."

Jaden turned to Carth with narrowed eyes, "That must have been some discussion you had."

"You don't get to be Admiral by being short sighted," he said with a shrug.

"Apparently not," Jaden mumbled sarcastically as she took another bite.

"What exactly is it, I'm suppose to know about?" Canderous asked. "What are these keys?"

Jaden took a moment to swallow the bite she had just taken. "I don't know."

"What?" She heard in stereo from Carth and Atton.

"Sorry guys, I don't know." Jaden shrugged wondering if she was convincing or not. It wasn't terribly far from the truth. She had only read references about the keys during her lessons, but there was never a picture and her teachers were adamant about not telling her.

"Then how do you know when you find them?" Visas asked.

Jaden shrugged taking a bite, "I just know when they are found. Like when the Exile found one," she said around the food.

"So you don't know what they are, just where they are," Carth stated. Jaden winced but didn't respond. He pinched the bridge of his nose, "Jaden."

"I know the systems, just not the exact locations. I don't need a map, remember?"

"But Tatooine," Atton said, "You told Zared where to look."

"It was a guess." Canderous stated as he watched Jaden closely. "You knew Revan had gone to Tatooine and found the Star Map."

Jaden nodded, "It made the most sense."

"And the other keys?" Visas asked, "Where are they?"

Jaden looked at each of them. Over the years, she had hurt each of them in some way, and while those events really were out of her control, this was something she could do protect them. "No, you don't need to know where they are."

"Jaden . . ." Carth began but she quickly turned to him.

"It's my home, Admiral, I will protect it," She snapped, her eyes flashing once. He raised his brows and looked at her.

"All right," he said slowly, "but I was going to ask if the key on Tatooine could lead Zared to the third key." He said still studying her. Something was happening to Jaden and Carth was certain she didn't realize it. For the past few minutes, he could feel her waffling, alternating between light and dark more readily and not realizing what she was doing. He doubted Jaden even knew she was wearing a pained expression and wincing. His arm throbbed but it was normal for that type of injury. _No,_ he thought, _this was something different._

The others, unaware of Jaden's swings, continued to discuss the importance of the third key with Atton believing it didn't matter since Zared would still come after them. Visas agreed and pointed out that if Zared went after the other key that would buy them more time. Canderous, on the other hand, had the most honest opinion and that was that Zared would be more powerful, while Jaden would be weakened.

"Which is why the cave must be closed," Jaden told them. "It will slow down the flow of the dark side." _Okay, normal response_, Carth thought.

"But not enough to help you," Carth said. Jaden shot him a dark look. _Not a normal response._

"It must be sealed," she fairly growled at him.

"Don't go far, Canderous," Atton mumbled just now noticing Jaden's anger.

Carth began to speak when his comm-link beeped. He yanked it from his belt and looked at the read out. "It's Kwyn," he stated then instructed T3 to hook-up the video link. "Just their side first," he told the droid and watched as Kwyn, Master Vandar, Tuluk and Dustil came into view. He wanted to make sure there wouldn't be any surprises sprung on them like Vice Admiral Dodonna. "Onasi."

"Pay up," Kwyn told Dustil as he held out his hand and flexed his fingers.

Canderous snorted, "Even I know not to bet against you, Onasi."

"Go ahead, T3," Carth said smiling.

As the image of those on the Ebon Hawk appeared in the conference room of the Sojourn, Master Vandar physically relaxed, Kwyn smiled softly at Visas, Tuluk looked aggrieved, and Dustil grinned as he slid his credits toward Kwyn.

"Where are we?" Carth asked.

"Hurling through space?" Kwyn quipped. Carth gave his a quick mock frown. "Sorry, Admiral," he looked at the group, "We're just relieved everyone is okay."

Carth gave Jaden a quick look. She still looked pained and he could feel her struggle to put it aside. "Most of us. The queen is still sleeping."

"The queen? Queen Talia?" Master Vandar asked clearly surprised by the news.

Kwyn sighed and shook his head, "No wonder you kept telling me 'later'."

"We found her in the prison on Onderon. Vaklu had beaten her pretty badly and she was scheduled for execution," Jaden told them.

"Well that should put a dent in Irudu's complaint," Kwyn said.

"Is this the same complaint you told us about?" Atton asked.

"Yes, Captain Rand." Vandar answered.

"They made you a captain." Canderous asked not looking at Atton as he sat forward in the seat and pushed his plate away.

Atton rolled his eyes, "During the Mandalorian war. You remember that skirmish, don't you?"

"Enough," Carth said with a faint smile. If nothing else, having those two on board would be entertaining. "What does it say?"

"Where should he start?" Tuluk groused. Vandar quietly reprimanded him.

"Irudu," Dustil began, not wanting to be left out, "filed a formal complaint in the Senate against you personally and the Republic. He filed a complaint against you with the Republic itself, and he also filed a complaint with the Republic against the Jedi Council."

"I feel left out," Atton wisecracked, "What about you, Visas?"

"You weren't left out," Tuluk snapped. "He filed a complaint with the Council against any Jedi found to be part of this insane situation."

"Then congratulations, Tuluk." Atton told him before adding snidely, "is this your first time?"

"The Jedi serve to protect, not break known traitors and a murderer of Republic citizens, out of prison." Tuluk said as he began to stand up.

"Shut up!" Jaden shouted then winced and began rubbing her left temple. "Canderous is innocent of any charges Vaklu thought up." Visas traded a look with Carth who clearly looked worried.

"Innocent or not, your stunt, Jaden, has stirred up a Mynoks nest. Vaklu and Irudu are not going to let this drop. You have endangered two Jedi, a highly respected Admiral of the Republic Navy, and its finest star cruiser, to rescue a Mandalorian you assume is innocent. And for what? All you have done is brought the Sith to our doorstep!" Tuluk sneered back at her.

Jaden looked over at Carth who was watching her closely. "Now do you see why I didn't want you to come along?"

Carth continued to watch her as he said, "You left out saved your sorry ass, Tuluk." He then broke eye contact with Jaden and looked at the elder Jedi. Although he had never liked Tuluk, the mans reaction to the situation was causing concern to skitter down his spine.

"That's right," Kwyn put in sitting up a little straighter glad he could show Tuluk up a little. He knew of Carth's dislike for the Jedi assigned to the Sojourn and shared it. "Jaden gave up one of the keys to the Valley of the Jedi, so the Exile wouldn't destroy the Sojourn."

Tuluk rolled his eyes, "The Valley of the Jedi is nothing but a legend."

"It is my home," Jaden snapped with enough venom to catch every ones attention this time.

Dustil had been watching the exchange and he could see Jaden was in pain and it was getting worse. "Father?"

"What?" Carth snapped feeling anger roll through him. He was beginning to feel the pain radiating from Jaden. She was losing whatever battle she was waging within herself. This was almost an assault, striking through the Force, stronger than when Dantooine had been attacked. He looked briefly at Atton and wondered if it was coming from him, but the pain was greater in magnitude. Atton may have fallen to the dark side but Jaden had said it was only briefly and he would return to his light side alignment. Besides, this didn't feel like pure dark energy. This was heavy, suffocating, and malicious.

"Perhaps we should talk about the next step. Arguing isn't helping."

Carth looked at his son and nodded. Lavek saw the exchange and then looked at Jaden. Something was wrong and Dustil had picked up on it.

"I agree," Kwyn said, "Carth, you mentioned Korriban. Is one of these keys on the planet?"

"Korriban?" Dustil shouted.

"Jaden cannot go to Korriban," Vandar stated at the same time.

"The queen must be brought to Coruscant." Tuluk stated.

"Well, she can't," Atton snapped at him.

Jaden ground out painfully, "The cave must be sealed."

"That's it!" Carth shouted for silence as he kicked away his chair and crouched beside her. "What's going on?" He asked. When he reached out to touch her, she flinched away. She had begun to sweat and was shaking. Jaden turned her head, but not before Carth caught a glimpse of her almost lifeless eyes.

"Jaden?" Atton asked leaning over.

"No!" She cried out. Carth reached across her and stopped Atton from touching her.

"Excuse me. Light side here," he said pushing Carth's hand away.

"Don't touch her." Carth barked between clenched teeth.

"No!" She whispered in a desperate tone. Carth shook his head when Atton gave his a curious look.

"What is going on?" Tuluk demanded to know.

"I don't know," Carth snapped, but he had a pretty good idea.

"Father . . ."

"Damn it, Dustil, it's not me," he shouted over his shoulder at his son. Vandar told them that if they were close to Korriban, then they needed to leave immediately.

"We're not going to Korriban," Visas told him, "We are headed for Spira."

Jaden turned her head and looked at Carth with such darkness, such hatred; he moved his right hand to the hilt of his saber. He knew it wouldn't help him if Jaden decided to attack, but old habits died hard. "You lied to me." Her words dripped with acid as she looked at him.

As painful as it was, Carth continued to hold her look, "T3?"

"Dwooo," T3 answered but then began beeping excitedly.

~~ _Listen and you will find the Force. ~~_ Echoed in Carth's head. He didn't have time for voices at the moment so he pushed it aside. It was taking all his concentration to not run in the other direction.

"Father, what is it?" Dustil asked feeling helpless. If it wasn't his father's anger, then what else could be causing this?

"She has fallen," Vandar stated.

"I can't feel the dark . . . oh, crap, this is just like Onderon. Atton said a bit panicked, "This isn't good."

Just then alarms started blaring from the medical bay. "The queen," Visas stated as she got up.

"Has this happened before?" Canderous asked moments before pieces of equipment began shorting out around them.

"Not to this degree." Atton said as he reared back from the sparks that shot out of the main console. "I mean she fell on Onderon and destroyed those turrets, but I've never seen this before. Where is it coming from?"

Lavek got up from the table and went to the console behind him, bringing up a star map. Dustil joined him. "Start at Onderon," he said. Kwyn gave him a quick look.

"I know how to pilot a ship, kid."

"What is your heading?" Dustil asked turning to the holovid. Carth and Jaden were still staring at one another, seemingly oblivious to the alarms and chaos going off around them. Atton was the one who answered. Dustil and Kwyn began studying the route.

"Admiral, you must try and reach her," Vandar said.

~~ _Listen and you will find the Force. _~~

"I don't know how," Carth said between clinched teeth. The pain coming from Jaden was intensifying.

"You must clear your mind, Admiral. Focus on her voice." Vandar said urgently. Time was of the essence.

"Her voice?" He asked.

"Listen, and you will find her." Vandar said. Carth spared him a surprised look.

"Find me," she whispered. He looked back at her, stunned. "Carth, please." She said with a pleading look, her heart in her eyes for but a moment before they turned dark and hard.

* * *

Dustil and Kwyn continued to scour the route of the Ebon Hawk. "What exactly are we looking for?" Kwyn asked quietly.

"Is the Exile in the area?"

Kwyn pressed several buttons and brought up the screen next to the one they were using. "No, he's still near Tatooine."

"Then it has to be something big and dark. Widen the flight path," Dustil said. Kwyn frowned but did as the kid asked. They were about to give up when Dustil smacked Kwyn on the arm. "There!"

"Stop that. Where?"

"Scan left," Dustil told him with another poke and pointing to the screen.

"Damn it! Stop!" Kwyn sighed, "If you weren't the Admiral's son . . ."

"And your godson," Dustil said as he continued to study the screen. Kwyn shot him a derisive look before he ignored him and pushed several buttons and the screen moved to the left. "You realize that's light years from where they are, don't you?" He asked when the object of Dustil's excitement appeared on the screen.

"But Jaden isn't whole and in her weakened state . . ." Dustil told him.

"Good point." Kwyn turned toward the holovid. "It might be a long shot, light years long shot," he said sparing a glance for Dustil, "But it appears you're passing Malachor V."

* * *

Carth looked at the holovid and then at Canderous. "Let's hope I remember how to pilot this hunk of junk," he said as he moved to go to the bridge. Visas came back to the main hold.

"The queen is dying," she announced.

"What? You said she would be fine." Atton said as his frustration mounted. Another console sparked behind him and he ducked.

"Jaden's . . . current state is killing her."

"Admiral, you must act now." Vandar told him.

"How can Jaden be killing her? Did she bond with the queen?" Tuluk asked fascinated and appalled by what he was witnessing.

"No," Visas answered, "Jaden put the queen in a healing sleep."

"A what?"

"Maybe you should take some time and read the Jedi archives. Wealth of knowledge in that library they have on Coruscant, you know." Atton yelled over the sound of the alarms. Dustil hid his smile. He didn't really like Tuluk either - thought he was a bit pompous.

Carth, bracing himself against the center console as the ship turned from their present course, nodded.

"What are you doing?" Visas demanded.

"He needs to reach Jaden." Vandar told her.

"No!" She said moving to Carth's side. "Admiral you cannot do this."

"Visas, he must try." Vander said.

"Master Vandar, you do not understand," she said turning back to Carth. "Please Admiral, listen to me." Visas implored.

"I don't have a choice, Visas. If I don't Jaden could die."

"A sacrifice she knows she must make because Jaden lives in you. If you fail and fall to the dark side then all this," she said with a wave of her hand, "is for naught."

Carth squeezed his eyes shut as what Visas said sank in. He remembered their conversation of days earlier about if Jaden failed the hope for the Galaxy rested with him. However, things had changed since then, he had learned of Revan's betrayal, accepted what Jaden had done for him, and allowed her to sneak in under his carefully crafted armor around his heart.

"This will pass, Admiral, just as it did on Onderon," she told him.

He shook his head and whispered, "I'm not ready to lose her," he looked at Visas, "I won't fail."

~~ _You must act now!_ ~~ He reached out and took Jaden's hand.

Carth flinched and his head felt like it was going to explode. Millions of tiny hammers tried to beat their way out and over that, echoes screamed across the galaxy, despair and sorrow given a voice. They clawed at his mind and scratched at his skin as if he was fresh prey being torn apart by thousands of tiny razor sharp teeth. Fire licked at his soul, and depression sought purchase in his spirit. The faces of the dead and tortured flashed through his mind, each accusing him of some heinous crime he never committed. _It wasn't me,_ he thought, but that didn't matter, blame for the sorrows and despair were laid at his feet. Visions of wars past and those he assumed from the future mixed with the voices. When he opened his eyes he was standing in a mist pf blackness, broken and bloodied bodies littered the landscape and a cruel voice laughed in the background as the destruction continued. Vignettes flashed in front of him, over and over of past and future oppressions, evil given a handsome face a quick smile and the ability to turn the nonbelievers with slick words of promise; Dark Lords, spinning deception through the miasma of the dark side.

_~~ Listen and you will find the Force, ~~_ the familiar said.

~~ _Let her die! She is weak. You can rule it all._ ~~ The voice of darkness countered as

Carth felt his heart pound, fighting to get out of his chest, as his breathing became quick and shallow.

~~ _Calm yourself._ ~~

~~ _Release your passion._ ~~

~~ Who are you? ~~ He silently screamed into the swirling black fog.

~~ We are the Force, find us, ~~ both voices chorused in his head. He bent forward from the crushing pain, trying valiantly to stay strong. His body crawled with enmity, drew him closer to the darkness.

~~ How? I cannot . . . ~~

~~ _You must!_ ~~ The familiar voices demanded. ~~ _Listen deeper_ ~~

~~ _Yes, listen deeper. Do you remember this voice?_ ~~ This voice was slippery and persuasive.

A scene of Revan and Carth in bed flashed before him, their passion at its peak; Revan telling him she loved him. He had been happy then, believing she loved him as much as he loved her. A lie he knew, but the image pulled at him, made him want her again with more desperation than he ever thought himself capable. ~~ _She can be yours again. One never truly dies with the Force._ ~~ The shadowy and compelling voices said. In a blink, Revan was gone, and Morgana in her place beckoning to him. His beautiful, beautiful Morgana. Could he turn away from _her_? The one woman who had been his very existence for so long? Could he hope to fill the chasm of his soul she had left behind with her death? She continued to beckon to him, with her shy smile. _My life,_ he thought as he took one step forward then another before a sharp pain knifed through his brain. _No,_ he thought, _lies! It is all lies!_ He took a step back, then another and Morgana appeared to him, as she was the day she died. Broken, covered in blood and gasping out her last breath, crying out for their son.

_I'm a solider_, he repeatedly told himself as he steeled his spine and continued to back away. The mantra had gotten him through tough spots before and he managed to take a deep breath.

~~ _You fool! You could have had them both. You could have unspeakable power. You could vanquish your enemy, take his place and rule the galaxy. She lies to you; she is nothing but a pawn, use her. Take her place within the Force and everything you ever dreamed of can be yours! You have the strength; you are more powerful than she is. _ ~~

~~ No, ~~ he shouted, ~~ I am a soldier, nothing more, ~~ and over the screams and the pain he found a softly muffled voice.

~~ _Reach out with your mind. Find us_. ~~

He closed his eyes and thought of Jaden, pictured her in his mind. Her smile, the way her brown and gold hair framed her face, how she looked when she was happy, after he would kiss her, the dreamy look that came into her eyes. Hell, he even thought of her dressed in the shirts she was fond of snitching from him. He thought of her laugh, a rare thing, but beautiful and memorable because it made him feel comforted, as he was in the darkest part of the nights after Morgana had died. He remembered the same comfort would come to him when he despaired of ever finding Dustil and how it was there when they were reunited, really reunited on Telos, after the destruction of the Star Forge. A comfort, he realized, that was never far from him at any time. A comfort, he recognized that was as necessary to him as breathing. As he clung to that thought, the soft dulcet tones grew louder and as they did, the screams faded and the pain lessened. The dark side fought back, but the voice was stronger now, soothing the ragged edges of his soul as its presence reassured him.

Carth opened his eyes at Jaden's sharply taken breath. "Thank you," she said softly as she took deep breaths. Her green eyes began to clear as she clung to his hand like a lifeline. Carth nodded as his own feelings of normalcy found purchase within his very core.

"What just happened?" He asked her softly knowing there was something he should remember, recognize its importance, but it eluded him.

"Father, is she alright?" Dustil's question saved Jaden from answering, not sure, she even could. The dark side was still assaulting her and it was costing her to even talk.

Jaden shook her head when Carth asked after her. He may have kept her from being overwhelmed, but she was far from being okay. Until they put more distance between the ship and Malachor V, she wouldn't be okay and neither would he. An icy chill slithered down her spine as she remembered those few steps he had taken toward the dark side. She had been shouting at him not to believe the lies but he couldn't hear her. It wasn't until her own soul began to shatter that she reached him and he stepped back.

Although he didn't realize it, Carth had recognized her in his thoughts.

"HK," she whispered, "engines."

Carth gathered her in his arms and looked at the assassin droid. "If you have a way to get us out of here quicker, now's the time." Jaden was still shaking and tears streamed down her face. He could feel her struggling to cast off the last of the effects of the dark side and wished frantically he knew how to help her.

'Relieved Statement: Yes, Master." HK turned toward the console he was beside and opened a panel on his side plugging in one of the heavy cables beside him.

Carth gave Atton and Visas a quick and curious look. Atton shrugged, but shared Carth's surprise when the Ebon Hawk's engines powered up and the ship lurched forward.

"What the hell?" Canderous shouted from the bridge.

"Why didn't we know about this when we were trying to outrun the Sith?" Atton asked.

"Simple statement: I was in the turret."

"The queen?" Jaden asked. Visas shook her head when Carth looked at her.

"Jaden, you need to release the queen," Visas told her.

"Can't, she'll die." Jaden stuttered as her body was racked with an icy shudder.

"Sweetheart," Carth told her quietly brushing the hair from her eyes, "you have to release her, honey."

Jaden slowly shook her head.

"You're killing her Jaden. You need to release Talia from the healing sleep." Carth raised Jaden's chin, "Look at me, Jaden. Open your eyes and look at me." When she did, he went on. "Release her."

"But she'll die," she whispered as an image of every thing she had tried to do failed spectacularly.

Now, he mouthed. "Trust me."

Jaden's eyes watered, but she nodded once and swallowing hard against the pain, slightly waved her hand. The queen's cry of pain reached them as Jaden collapsed against Carth's chest.


	20. Chapter 19

~~ _You are weak!_ ~~

~~ _And you are a fool!_ ~~ Zared shouted to the dark and slippery voices as he stood in his quarters looking out the windows. Tatooine lay below, a monochromatic desolate orb. His men had reached the cave and were digging under the Star Map for the key, or so he hoped. He was taking a chance that Jaden told him the truth.

~~ _And you give up the boy_. ~~ The voices sneered ~~ _He was your insurance, your chance for success! You have squandered your advantage_. ~~

~~ _I have done nothing! Taking the boy would serve no purpose. Jaden and his father would die protecting him_. ~~

~~ _Your point?_ ~~

Zared closed his eyes and drew on his patience, ~~ _I will find the keys without the boy._ ~~

~~ _The boy has the knowledge! _~~ The voices demanded. ~~ _He was a Sith once, you could turn him again. Make him your apprentice._ ~~

~~ _Dustil was never a Sith!_ ~~ He snarled, compelled to defend the boy he had never met.

~~ _He is strong in the Force. Use him as you would use any enemy to your advantage._ ~~

~~ _Enough! I have given my word and I will keep it._ ~~

~~ _And if she lied to you?_ ~~

~~ _I will deal with it. Now leave me alone, you bore me._ ~~

Zared felt the chill on his spine lessen and knew he was alone. He was the Sith and knew what he was doing. If Jaden had lied to him, she would pay for her deception. He briefly wondered if she had to put up with the same voices dogging her every move. Of course, they wouldn't be evil encouraging her to destruction; they would be guiding her along the path of the light. Zared scoffed and shook his head. He prized being the Dark Lord of the Sith, lived it, breathed it, was happy in his choice, but he was beginning to question why everything associated with the dark side involved destruction. If they destroyed everything, there would be nothing left to rule over. Revan had recognized this during the Jedi Civil war, that was why she left certain military installations intact, a move he thought brilliant, but toward the end even she was leaning more and more toward destruction of everything. He understood the power the dark side of the Force gave him, had used it indiscriminately to eliminate those that would challenge him, and would do so again, without a thought. Nevertheless, one had to have something to use that power over in order to lead.

Bored with his own thoughts, he finally turned his attention to the man who had been waiting so patiently this whole time. It pleased him the commander stand at attention for nearly twenty minutes while Zared spoke with dark voices and sorted through his own feelings. With an inward smile he thought, _the dark side could be petty as well._

"What is it?" He asked with disgust. _Didn't he have enough to deal with?_ If it was possible, the man snapped further into attention, his boots making a clicking sound as the heels met.

"Milord, they have what they believe to be the key along with other artifacts."

Zared waited a few more minutes before he turned to the man, "And you don't have them with you?"

"Milord," the commander said nervously. "They are on their way back, and I felt it was important you know of their success," he added as a bead of sweat trickled down the side of his face. He had served the Sith for years, but this dark lord was different and made him jumpy.

"Assemble the historians and have them ready to begin the moment the team returns."

"Yes, milord." The man said with a bow but didn't turn to leave. "Milord, there is also word of an incident on Onderon."

Zared raised a brow as he moved to the small bar area. "Onderon? What has that fool Vaklu done now?"

"The reports are conflicting, milord, but apparently the Ebon Hawk was involved."

"And you didn't tell me this before!" He barked, enjoying the commander's discomfort. It fed something wicked in him. He didn't care which news came first; he just wanted to keep the crew off balance. It was another form of power.

"Milord, I am sorry," he said hastily unsure how to proceed. "As I said, the reports are conflicting but apparently the Ebon Hawk was involved in some sort of prison break."

"Prison break?"

"Yes, milord. According to our sources, the Ebon Hawk landed then took off with a Mandalorian and another woman they couldn't identify."

Zared frowned. The Mandalorian was obviously Mandalore and why Jaden wanted him, was understandable, who the woman was, was a mystery. Actually, none of it made sense. Why would Jaden need Mandalore? She had surrounded herself with Jedi's and Admiral Onasi, strong allies to be sure, so what purpose would a dark-leaning Mandalorian have. Zared's temper flared as an idea formed in him mind. "Find out what you can," he said.

"Yes milord." This time, when the man bowed, he was backing out of the room as quickly as possible. Zared hid his smile.

"Jaden, Jaden, Jaden, what are you up to?" He whispered as he poured himself a drink. Mandalore was a key and now she had him. Did it matter? One way or another he was going to have to defeat Jaden in order to gain entrance to the valley even with the keys, so was she really protecting Mandalore or just ensuring a confrontation. Bait or a trick? That wasn't very Jedi-like considering it wasn't part of their repertoire. Well, not normally since every time they tried to set a trap it went wrong. Revan being the latest failure. Zared frowned, thinking it was some type of set-up, a Sith tactic to be sure.

* * *

"General Zared, these items are fascinating! They pre-date anything in the Sith or Jedi archives!" Radha Amanuensis was the historian who informed Zared of his destiny. The man was probably as ancient as the various items strewn around the conference room table, but Zared had a fondness for the shriveled old man. When they first met, Radha's eyes lit with life and he bowed profusely, each of the brittle bones in his small body cracking. Zared was afraid the man would literally splinter apart, so he hastily helped him to his feet and told him it was not necessary to bow and scrape to him. Apparently, Radha took the comment to heart, because he was the only one in Zared's service who didn't. Other's may have questioned the old mans station, but Radha was the one who told him about Jaden, the Valley of the Jedi and what it meant.

When he had first arrived on the Sith home world he was a bit disappointed. Everything was so normal, like any other planet in the galaxy. Homes of stone and metal, businesses selling their wares, people milling about or hurrying to get on with their lives. There was the upper class, the middle class and families struggling with their day-to-day survival. Not even the military could be seen as they were when the Sith had locked down Taris.

It had taken a couple of days of discrete inquiry around the city before he found a young boy that agreed to take him to the leader, which turned out to be Revan. She was pleased to see him and over the following weeks filled him in on her plans to destroy the Republic and extend the rule of the True Sith. She had taught him much more about the dark side of the Force than he ever knew and they had become lovers. Their positions had switched the day she introduced him to Radha Amanuensis, the Sith historian, and the little man informed him he was the dark side point in the Force and his destiny would soon be upon him. Zared looked upon the mans stories and legends with skepticism, until the day he was called into the medical center at the academy and saw Jaden lying there clinging to life, her birthmark pulsing faintly in the harsh light. Zared had immediately summoned the historian and listened for hours about the legend of the three keys, the Valley of the Jedi, and his destiny.

"I didn't want you to be bored," he said kindly brushing away his memories. "I know how much you despise space travel."

"Careful youngling, your . . . Jedi is showing." The old man grinned his toothless grin when Zared chuckled.

"So it is," he said softly. "What is all this . . .stuff." Zared was about to say junk, but knew it would earn him a reprimand so he changed the term.

"I'm not sure," Radha told him perching his glasses on the end of his nose. They made his eyes look myopic. Zared had offered to heal his sight, but the old man refused, saying he didn't trust the Force or its healing powers. He picked up an ancient script and held it as delicately as a newborn. "I haven't deciphered the writings yet, it is very ancient, but I suspect it is a diary of some sort. A journal of the travels of the priests in charge of burying the key."

"Now who's Jedi is showing," Zared said ironically. "Only a few in the galaxy believe the Force is a religion with the Jedi as priests, and none of them believe that to be the case with the Sith."

"Short sightedness on their part. You must remember, the legend is very old, it wasn't until later when the Sith broke away from their Jedi Masters, that the idea of religion really came into the mix, but who are we to say it wasn't there all along. Cultures will often . . . invent a deity or deities to deal with what they do not understand, cast the blame, or praise, for deeds they most likely did themselves."

"The dark side made me do it," Zared drolled as he picked up an unusual looking amulet. It felt cold in his hand, so cold he quickly put it down, but he continued to study the ancient writing circling a symbol much like the one on his left shoulder.

"Something like that. I know you are not here to discuss the ancient history of the Force or the moral differences in philosophy of the Jedi and Sith. Come, I believe this is what you are looking for," he said hurrying toward the other end of the room, his black robes fluttering about him. As Zared followed behind him, he heard one of the soldiers make a remark about Radha being a crazy old coot and they were wasting their time. Zared looked at him, and the soldier crumpled to the floor, the realization he was a dead man still clear in his glassy eyes.

"Come, come, youngling," Radha told him with an impatient wave of his hand unaware of what just happened. Zared looked at the dead soldiers companion who snapped to attention then strolled on. "This," Radha held the oblong artifact in his hand, "This, I believe, is the key."

It was an arm-length cylinder-shaped object with unique writing down the shaft. One end was notched with square nodes of differing shapes and sizes. The other end was a wedge of sorts with a triangular point that rounded on the opposite side. It was clear to Zared that when the three keys were put together that the top would create an orb and the bottom would complete the 'key'. But what was he to open?

"Do you believe these writings will lead us to the next key?" Zared asked gently taking the item and studying it. Something stirred within him and it made him uncomfortable.

"It will take time, young one, I am sorry. I will work diligently on the translations, but there is something else I would like you to see."

Zared followed Radha to a corner of the room where a small monolith sat on the floor. It was no taller than his waist and looked to be solid metal with a silvery finish. Etched on the sides was the same writing that he had seen on the key and the parchment, but the object drew him in, made him want to touch it. Slowly he extended his hand and the monolith began to glow and hum.

"It hasn't done that before," Radha said frowning as he scurried away from Zared out of harms way in case something happen. "It must recognize you."

When Zared turned to look at the old man, his fingers lightly brushed the monolith. The shock of energy sent through Zared, was strong enough to knock the dark lord squarely on his ass. "Humph!"

"Interesting," Radha whispered as he narrowed his eyes on the still glowing and sparking monolith.

"Interesting!" Zared shouted as he sat up, his mind still whirling with images. He tried to shake them loose but they hung on as if someone was crawling through his brain, dissecting each piece looking for something. Zared grabbed his head and let out a low moan, _find whom?_

~~ _It's a trap! She has done this you!_ ~~

~~ _Shut up!_ ~~

"Young one, what is it? What do you see?" Radha asked leaning over him, his eyes blinking rapidly behind his glasses, as they appeared ten times larger than his wrinkled face.

"The light," he ground out. "The light is prodding through the dark side, looking for something."

"Interesting."

* * *

_He was a fool for giving an order that the boy and those on the Sojourn were not to be harmed. The dark lord was squandering a perfect opportunity and it chaffed just to think about it. Well, what would come next would dictate if the boy were taken or not! Time was being wasted looking for the keys by themselves when they could have the Jedi and the Republic helping them. Admiral Onasi would not sacrifice his son and Jaden would be by his side. She would talk given the right incentive. She was weak and foolish, allowing her emotions to dictate her actions. The opportunity to destroy her was being squandered. Yes, the next steps could be telling indeed._

* * *

Those on the Sojourn sat silently, trying to absorb everything they had just witnessed. Questions, too numerous to count were hanging unspoken in the air and the answers were not going to be easily understood. Whatever the answers, they watched Visas leave for the medical bay and Carth carry the unconscious Jaden to her quarters.

_Who was she?_ Tuluk silently asked. She wasn't a Jedi, yet she possessed the power of the Force. When he had been in the training room watching Admiral Onasi and Atton spar, he only sensed Atton and Visas. Why had he missed Jaden and, apparently, Admiral Onasi? "What just happened?" He asked the group at large. Dustil looked away, General Lavek seemed to be staring into space and Master Vandar hung his head. "Master Vandar?"

"I am not sure, Master Tuluk," Vandar said wondering that himself. What had happened when Admiral Onasi had taken Jaden's hand was astounding. He could still feel the echoes of the dark side ripple through the Force. Being the most powerful member among the Jedi Order had its advantages and its drawbacks.

"Not sure? We just witnessed Admiral Onasi apparently pull someone from the dark side. You said yourself she had fallen." Tuluk took a deep breath. "How did you know that? This . . . Jaden shows no signs of being Force Adept or Force Sensitive. Either does Admiral Onasi for that matter." Tuluk's tone of voice rose, as he demanded his answers.

"Tuluk," Kwyn said frowning at him.

"General Lavek, I'll ask you to stay out of something you know nothing about," Tuluk snapped at him. Kwyn watched the older man for a moment. "Thank you," he sneered at him. Kwyn looked at Vandar who sighed. He then looked at Dustil, who shrugged.

"I know nothing about." Kwyn asked. "Let's see how much you know then. Did you know that when Revan returned to Republic space she was on a mission to use Carth and, probably, the Jedi Council to find the Valley of the Jedi? Did you know her attack on the academy at Sirius injured Carth and Dustil? Did you know that is was Jaden who killed Revan and saved their lives, specifically saving Admiral Onasi's by sharing her power with him?"

"Actually," Atton said interrupting Kwyn, "Revan had killed Carth. Jaden restored his life."

"So, Tuluk," Kwyn said continuing, "Based on _that_ bit of information, did you know, that by Jaden doing that, Carth is now able to wield the Force?"

"That's impossible! Force Sensitives can bond, but they cannot . . . give the power of the Force to someone." Tuluk snapped at Lavek.

"You can if you're an embodier," Dustil whispered. Tuluk spun quickly and glared at the boy.

"Now, I don't have access to the Jedi archives, Tuluk, but even I can figure out that if someone is so strong in the Force that they appear to embody it, well . . . that would make them more powerful than the Jedi Council . . . combined." Kwyn told the fuming man beside him. "Am I wrong, Master Vandar?"

"No, General Lavek, you are correct," Vandar said with a sigh. Vandar knew Tuluk would find it difficult to believe and Vandar had no easy answers to rely on except for an ancient legend.

"Should I go on about what I don't know?" Kwyn asked nastily as Tuluk continued to glare at him.

"You don't know about Jaden's balance," Dustil prompted him.

"That's right. Did you know, that as an embodier, Jaden must maintain her balance in the Force? The droids, light and dark. Atton, light, Mandalore, dark. Visas?"

"Neutral," Dustil provided.

"And Admiral Onasi? Well, when the times comes for Jaden to face the Exile, Carth will give back what Jaden gave him." Kwyn's anger was a palpable thing.

"General Lavek, be mindful of your anger," Vandar counseled him.

"My apologies, Master Vandar, but I suppose that's a benefit to not being a Jedi; I can get angry," he replied but in a more reasonable tone.

"Your point is well taken, but anger will not solve this situation nor help Jaden in the difficult task, and the sacrifice she must make." Vandar looked at Dustil with something akin to compassionate sadness.

"How is this any different than Revan facing Malak or the Exile defeating Darth Traya at Malachor V? The Sith were defeated."

"You know, General Tuluk," Dustil addressed him, "You may think nothing about the Jedi taking children from their parents for the greater good of the Order, but I didn't have a choice. My father was lost to me for many years and now I have him back. Knowing he could, and probably will, die in the next few weeks makes this very different." It was the first time Dustil had voiced his fears and he felt exposed and vulnerable. Kwyn leaned over and gently bumped his shoulder in a reassuring gesture. Dustil's smile was weak, but he appreciated the silent message.

"From a certain point of view," Tuluk told him. "Your father knew that sacrifices would have to be made in order to maintain peace. Perhaps it is time you learned that as well."

"Leave the kid alone, Tuluk," Canderous said as he entered the main hold of the Ebon Hawk, "He knows just as much as you do about sacrifice, maybe more. He's had to deal with the death of his mother, growing up alone and betrayal at the hands of the Sith. Now, he gets to see his father betrayed, once again, by the very thing that saved his life."

There was silence among the group because while they understood what Canderous was talking about, Tuluk had no idea. "What are you talking about?"

"You serve with the man and you don't know his history?" Canderous shook his head. "The Sith take his family away. Then the Jedi Council . . . keeps him in the dark about who Revan really is. He found out from Malak by the way, that Bastila and the Council lied to him. He finds the son, who he has given up for dead, on Korriban joined with the Sith . . ."

Tuluk quickly looked at Dustil.

" . . . Then Revan deserts him to find some mysterious threat to the galaxy. When she returns years later, she's intent on lying and using Admiral Onasi to find the Valley of the Jedi. Revan is as Sith as Sith gets, but instead of manipulating him, she winds up killing him. Enter Jaden, who is not allowed to be a Jedi, saves his life only to inform him later that she has to take back what she gave him in order to defeat the Exile and restore peace and balance to the galaxy. Now, Tuluk, if you can figure out what the one common denominator is in all that, you'll understand the irony of the sacrifice!"

It was probably the longest speech Atton had ever heard from Mandalore. "Well put."

"I still don't . . ." Tuluk started to say but Kwyn threw up his arms in frustration.

"The Force, you idiot! The Force has done nothing but screw with his life. It's taken his family, betrayed him on a personal level and now he's being asked, no he's expected to die willingly for something that has done nothing but brought him grief?" Kwyn shouted, disgusted that Tuluk refused to listen to what he was being told.

"There's more," Dustil added quietly. "Jaden told me she wouldn't take back what she gave my father. She wants him to live so he can retire to Telos and we can go to the cantina and pick up women."

Kwyn put his arms on the table and leaned forward giving Dustil an oh-really look. Dustil nodded sheepishly.

"And if that happens," Canderous went on to say, "the galaxy falls into darkness. Do you really think Admiral Onasi could live with the knowledge that because he lived, the galaxy basically died a slow and painful death under the dark side?"

"Wow," Atton said softly, "You are good."

Tuluk sat back in the chair and digested what he had learned. He was beginning to see the complexity of the situation for Admiral Onasi, but that still didn't explain whom Jaden was and what it was she was trying to accomplish. He was speaking his thoughts to the group when Carth reentered the main hold.

"Jaden is the light side point in the Force. The Exile is the dark side. T3, play the recording of our conversation. Start with Jaden's explanation and include her meeting with General Zared."

"General Zared?" Tuluk asked surprised when he recognized the name.

"The Exile."

Carth blocked T3's beeps of displeasure and wandered away from the group to speak with HK. He didn't need to see, or hear, Revan's betrayal again. He told the droid to power down and answered with a shrug when HK asked after Jaden. He didn't know how she was and that scared him, almost as much as not understanding how he could have pulled her back from the dark side. _A dark side that tempted him with the one thing that he would gladly give his life to have back._ Carth also explained that he wanted HK to go to Korriban with Canderous and Atton, that his unique talents could be put to use. The droid's excitement made Carth give him a tired smile before he moved off to go to the medical bay.

He stood in the doorway and watched as Visas tended to Queen Talia, who was alive albeit barely.

"You shouldn't have done what you did, Admiral." Her back was to him when she spoke.

"What exactly did I do?" He asked quietly, "That I shouldn't have done."

"You took an unnecessary risk. Her fall would have passed. Jaden is resting now, is she not?"

"Yes," Carth said looking back toward the main hold to check on the holovid progress. "She's exhausted, Visas. Jaden could have suffered greatly if I didn't do whatever the hell it is I did," he said, his frustration clearly showing in his voice.

"You saved the light from drowning in a sea of darkness," Visas told him finally turning toward him. Seeing Carth frown she added, "I know you hate Jedi speak, but there is no other way to describe it. Carth, you touched the Force. Something very few have ever done."

He looked quickly away and whispered, "Find us."

"What?"

"When we couldn't find you, after the explosion on Onderon, I heard . . . I don't know, it's like a chorus of voices. Anyway, it said 'Listen and you will find the Force.' It was faint at first but it keeps getting stronger."

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"It stopped after T3 found you, but now I'm hearing other things, other voices, all the time."

"What are they saying?" She was cautious with the question.

Carth shrugged, "I don't know, but they are happy, sad, angry, joyous. Sometimes I know what they are saying, telling me things."

"Such as?"

"Jaden restored the Force to Katarr. They confirmed that Canderous is one of the keys. It's stuff I just know," he told her terrified of what it might mean. He looked at the main hold again where Jaden's meeting with Zared was just beginning.

"And the voices that told you to listen?" She asked, nearly as troubled by this as he was.

"When Jaden began to fall, they came back, told me to listen and I would find the Force. When I touched her, I was overwhelmed by the . . . dark voices. I could hear these echoes, Visas and then the voices were there telling me to find them. I asked who they were . . ."

"You spoke to them?" She asked clearly surprised. While the Jedi had the ability to hear the Force, actually speaking with it was something else entirely.

Carth gave her a curious look but nodded. "Yes," he answered slowly, "they said they were the Force and to listen deeper and I would find them. Next thing I knew, I could hear Jaden." He wasn't about to tell her everything. In fact, he wasn't sure he would even tell Jaden about what he had almost done. Carth checked on the holovid one more time before asking, "Visas, what am I hearing?"

"The Midiclorians, Admiral. You are hearing the Force and it is speaking to you, as it does all Jedi."

"But I'm not a Jedi."

"No, but you hold a part of Jaden within you and you have grown powerful enough on your own that you can hear the Force." _Moreover, apparently, it answers you._

He sighed in resignation. "Look, the holovid is almost done."

"I'll come with you," she said knowing no good would come of any further discussion. She needed to speak with Jaden about this. The fact that Carth continued to grow in the strength of the Force couldn't be a good sign.

Carth returned to the main hold with Visas in tow and sank heavily into a chair. Atton was only half listening, while Canderous was frowning at the holovid. When it was over, T3 replaced it with the feed from the Sojourn.

He wasn't sure where the humor came from but he felt like laughing as he looked at the group. Kwyn looked angry, Vandar was reflective; Dustil was clearly upset, and Tuluk? Well Tuluk looked like a petulant child, left out of all the fun. It was silent on both ships for several more minutes before Kwyn spoke.

"So we need to find the other keys." A part of him was torn in two for his friend. It couldn't have been easy to see Revan's betrayal knowing how much Carth had loved her.

Carth shook his head and said tiredly, "The keys don't matter."

"I beg to differ, Admiral Onasi." Tuluk interjected.

"Tuluk," Atton cut in, "Even if the key Jaden gave to Zared leads to another one, he still has an incomplete map. He would need the third key and we have that, so one way or another, Zared's coming after us."

Tuluk started to speak, but Vandar raised his hand to stop him. "I agree. Although the Valley of the Jedi is the ultimate prize, the Exile must face Jaden in order to gain entrance."

"And destroy her," Dustil snapped.

"Or Jaden destroys him." Carth said watching his son. Dustil sighed and nodded.

"Why hasn't Jaden been put under the protection of the Jedi?" Tuluk asked. Both Visas and Atton shook their heads. Carth actually smiled.

"You know, Tuluk, even at . . . half strength and exhausted, Jaden destroyed two air defense towers just by thinking about it," he said. "Her droids are capable of, I don't know what all," he added looking at HK and T3. "I doubt the Jedi could offer much more protection than she has provided for herself."

"Yet she travels with two Jedi, a Mandalorian and an admiral who is untrained in the ways of the Force," Tuluk said.

Carth looked at Visas and smiled. "I've been trained."

"By which master? Did you train him Vandar?"

"Master Tuluk," Vandar sighed, "this is why you will never sit on the Jedi Council. Just because we carry the title of master, it does not mean we have mastered the Force. The Admiral was trained well in the ways of the Force. It was his choice not to join the order."

"So Revan didn't teach you to use a light saber?"

"Hardly," Dustil scoffed. Carth gave him a warning look full of affection.

"We travel with Jaden by our own choice, Master Tuluk," Visas told him

"The Jedi's involvement would only bring unwanted attention, at this point," Atton added.

"This is Jaden's operation," Carth said. "And as such we need to get this cave sealed."

"What did you have in mind?" Kwyn asked.

Carth went on to explain how he suspected Jaden's exhaustion was making her more susceptible to the dark side. She needed to rest and that was why they were headed to Spira. It would be out of the way and quiet. While Jaden rested, Atton and Canderous, who nodded his agreement to go when Carth paused, would travel to Korriban and seal the cave. Kwyn suggested that the Sojourn was closer and could fire off a couple of laser cannon shots; that way no one would be in harms way, but Vandar explained that because Kreia made the breach, she must have tapped one of the tombs. Although safer, he was afraid that a tomb would be damaged and that more of the dark side would be released.

Carth exchanged looks with the group when Tuluk asked about the queen. His interest was beginning to concern Carth. It was something that would need to be checked out, he thought as Kwyn explained about Irudu's statement that the queen was already on Coruscant. If Talia showed up it would lend credibility to his complaint that, the Republic and the Jedi were behind the attack on Iziz. That didn't seem to satisfy Tuluk and an even larger argument broke out. Carth did find one occasion to chuckle when Tuluk stated he didn't like the arrangement and Atton commented, "What else is new."

Vandar put an end to the discussion when he said he agreed with Carth. Jaden and the queen would go to Spira while the Sojourn would meet the Ebon Hawk at Korriban and seal the cave. Tuluk had sat back heavily; thwarted in his attempts to take control of the situation.

"Then it's settled," Carth told the group. "How far to Spira?"

"If we push it, it could be a day," Atton answered then looked at HK, "Or less."

Carth shook his head. "Since he's going with you, running down his power source is not a good idea."

"Statement: It is not too late to change your mind and send the T3 unit," HK told him. At Atton's look of absolute horror, Carth gave them a half smile.

"No HK, I appreciate the offer but I wouldn't want you to miss the chance to use your assassination protocols."

"Pffft," was T3's response.

"Lavek, the Ebon Hawk will meet you in 48 hours at Korriban."

"I'll contact you when we arrive," Kwyn told him.

Carth nodded. "Let me know if you run into any trouble. Onasi out." He nodded to T3, who ended the transmission.

"Trouble?" Visas asked.

"My son wanting to go along," Carth said rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hands.

"Ah," she said with a smile. "I thought perhaps you meant the Exile."

"Him too."

* * *

Jaden was asleep. It was fitful, but she was sleeping. Carth had removed her jacket, boots and utility belt and covered her with a blanket, but she had kicked it to the floor and was now shivering. Dustil did the same thing with his blankets when he was younger. Morgana's solution was to sew it to the bunk so her baby boy would be warm when the nights turned cool. It hadn't taken his son long to figure out how to get around it; he loosened the stitches on the opposite side so his mother wouldn't notice. Dustil was all of four years old at the time and while Carth thought it was ingenious of his son, Morgan had narrowed her eyes and accused him of helping. He smiled at the memory then pushed it aside as he picked up the blanket and placed it over Jaden before sitting on the edge of the bunk.

The shadows under her eyes made him sigh as he moved the hair from her face and watched her. "What is going, Jaden?" He whispered. "Why can I suddenly hear the Force, hear your voice in my head?" _Why did I take those steps?_

"Carth?" She asked sleepily as she turned to her side and snuggled against his leg.

"Go back to sleep, sweetheart," he said letting his fingers play through her hair. _What did I almost do?_

Jaden's hand moved to the inside of his thigh as she hugged herself closer to his knee, her eyes cloudy grayish green eyes opened. "The queen?"

"She'll be fine," he told her as he continued to gently run his fingers through her choppy hair. _Always thinking of others_, he thought, _unlike me who only thought of myself._

"I'm sorry I doubted you," she said softly.

"Well, it's not the first time, nor will it be the last," he teased. Jaden gave him a tired smile but went back to sleep. Carth leaned forward and kissed her forehead. He watched her for a few more minutes before disentangling his leg from her grasp and heading toward the bridge.

The ship was quiet as he wandered through the main hold. Even the droids had hooked in and powered down for a much needed re-boost of energy. He checked some of the read outs and was satisfied that nothing needed any immediate attention. Jaden certainly had taken care of the old girl while it was in her care, but he knew that already when the technicians informed him they needed to replace very little after her crash.

When he arrived at the bridge, he sank into the captain's chair with a heavy sigh. He was exhausted, beyond exhausted. His brief touch with the dark side had left him feeling empty, drained and questioning his own sanity. Carth could only imagine how Jaden must feel. No wonder she was so weak. The emptiness seemed to eat away at you until nothing was left, making you desperate for scraps of life, even if they were dead and buried. If that was the case, he wondered, how long could Jaden survive? This needed to end and soon, before Jaden was too weak to face the Exile. Maybe that was Zared's plan all along; wait until Jaden was too weak to stop him and then destroy her.

"Who am I kidding," he mumbled. He was the reason she was becoming weaker, now she was paying for it.

~~ _She would still be weakened_. ~~

Carth closed his eyes and sighed. The voices were back. He was hearing the Force and he wasn't sure he liked it. He took a deep, shaky breath and pushed aside the memory of the other voices he had heard.

~~ _Fear and anger can lead to the dark side._ ~~

"What does Jaden fear that would cause her to fall?" he asked softly. "What causes her anger?"

~~ _Perhaps that is a question you should ask of yourself?_ _Listen and you will find the answers. _~~

"Frack it! Can you say nothing that isn't a riddle?" Carth growled, but just then, his communicator beeped and he swore some more.

Kwyn was on the communicator when Carth activated the device. He wondered briefly if the voices were listening in, but didn't really care. Actually, he was too exhausted to care so he only listened as Kwyn filled him in on what had happened after they signed off and that he wanted to put Dustil on investigating Tuluk. It was a sticky situation, the Republic investigating one of the Jedi, but Carth agreed it needed to be done. If nothing else, it would keep Dustil away from the action. He told Kwyn he would speak with Master Vandar about his suspicions that the Exile would still come after him, and hoped that would be enough. If push to came shove, he would exercise his right to activate Dustil's commission and pull him away from the Council.

"If all this goes south, feel free to throw my son in the brig," Carth told him. "He can do the research from there."

Kwyn chuckled before asking, "Do you think Vandar knows something is not quite right about Tuluk? I mean he is suppose to be the strongest on the Jedi Council."

"Well, if there is one thing I've learned over the past few months, hell days, is that the Force speaks and acts in riddles."

"No clear cut answers?" Kwyn asked and then waited patiently through the silence that followed.

"She's growing weaker, Kwyn. How can I help her if I don't know the answers?" Carth answered quietly. _How can I help her when my own need made me take those steps?_

"Could be you need to find the real problem first, before you know the answer," Kwyn suggested.

"I know what the problem is. Jaden gave me part of herself to restore my life. The answer I need is how do I give it back."

"Do you really believe she won't take it back, Carth?" Kwyn asked quietly. If there was one thing he knew, Carth wouldn't allow that to happen.

"I know Jaden would face the Exile without it."

Suddenly Kwyn felt very ill at ease. The situation with his best friend was very real and he was too tired to think about it. Actually, he didn't want to deal with it at all. "I can't talk about this right now."

"Kwyn . . ."

"I know what needs to be done, Carth, if the galaxy is to survive. Nevertheless, that doesn't mean I can't be afraid to lose my best friend and angry because I probably will. Look, I'll get Dustil going on researching Tuluk. Get some sleep. Lavek out."


	21. Chapter 20

Jaden stretched in her sleep and rolled to her back, the edges of her dream consciousness turning dark. She winced, whispering "No." Darkness pulled at her, overshadowing the light and deafening the murmurs of the Force she always heard. Jaden tried to shrug off the cloying feeling, but the pressure on her body only intensified.

~~ _It is not real_. ~~

"Pain," she whispered as it slowly wrapped around her naked legs, trapping her in an unseen prison.

~~ _Calm yourself._ ~~

"Pain," she repeated as it continued to snake around her body, up and around her arms.

~~ _A trick of the dark side_. ~~

~~ _I am the dark,_ ~~ Jaden pushed aside the image of two significant steps.

~~ _You are the Force_. ~~

_Jaden fought to find peace, but the shrieks of agony and despair grew stronger and with them, they brought the images of death. Nightmare scenarios of strangers being tortured, the sights so real Jaden felt as if she was there. The coppery scent of blood nearly overwhelming her as it eddied around her bare ankles. She tried to move away, hide from the images but they were relentless, shifting from strangers to her friends. She cried out although no one could hear her, as she fought against the chains of sorrow that held her, as the tableau of torture unfolded._

_Jaden watched helpless the rape of Visas, her clothing torn and bloodied, before she was dismembered, one joint at a time, all the while screaming for Jaden to save her. Canderous tied to a lethal machine of spikes and chains as it slowly tore him in two, the sound of his bones and flesh separating flooding her mind. She screamed for the unseen assailants to stop but she couldn't be heard. Next, Dustil was thrown from the darkness at her chained feet, beaten almost beyond recognition, his broken body awash in blood; his lifeless eyes staring up at her, accusation clearly his last thought. "No," she silently screamed between her sobs, but only heard maniacal laughter around her. "Stop! They are innocent!" She pleaded. The visions didn't stop and Jaden watched in horror as Atton was electrocuted repeatedly until his physical being literally melted in a fiery heap, his screams echoing around with the others and the constant laughter._

_She tried to turn her head and close her eyes but she couldn't. Carth brought forward in chains, beaten, tortured and nearly dead, pleaded with her to help him but Jaden was unable to move, despite her struggles against her invisible chains. The whips, tipped with tiny razor-like spheres, licked at his body drawing blood, creating deep ugly gashes that allowed his life fluid to flow easily. "No!" Jaden choked out a sob, her tears falling in earnest, her chest aching and heavy. "Nooooo," she cried out again as her head fell forward._

_In the background, she could hear heavy footsteps under Carth's pleadings for his life. Jaden renewed her struggles to free herself but was trapped, forced to watch the horror as a shadowy black beast with curved horns, jagged, sharp teeth and glistening claws appeared. Its talons, honed to lethal perfection shot out, quick as a wink, and swiped along Carth's back. His tortured screams scraped along Jaden's nerves, causing her to buckle under the agonizing pain. Fire raced over her skin as the beast struck out once again. Carth thrown to his knees, his flesh torn and hanging from his bloodied body, looked at her, "You have done this," he accused. Jaden shook her head, "It is the darkness," she whispered. _

"_I only wanted my life, Jaden. You took it from me. My son, my wife, Revan!"_

"_She killed you. I restored your life," Jaden cried out. The beast stalked back and forth behind Carth and in its fist, was a saber, its shimmering blade the purest silver. The beast raised its arm, twirling the blade once on its downward arc toward Carth's back . . ._

Jaden bolted upright on the bunk shouting "No!" and trembling, her breathing rapid and shallow as tears flowed down her face to mingle with the sweat covering her body.

~~ _A dream, nothing more, child_. ~~

"I need to come home," she whispered with a keening wail as she began to rock back and forth. The images were slow to fade and replayed over and over again in her mind.

~~ _You cannot_. ~~

"I can't . . ." Jaden squeezed her eyes shut as she turned away from the blinding white light filling the cabin.

"You cannot come home, Jaden."

She had only spoken to the Midiclorians through her mind, so when the familiar voice was in her room, she quickly looked over to find the specter of her mother standing beside the bunk as beautiful as Jaden remembered.

"Mother?" she asked as she reached out to touch her, only to find her hand pass through the apparition. Her mother wore a gown of white; her blonde hair framing a face Jaden had missed all her life. The sparkling blue eyes and easy smile had haunted Jaden for years. Even when Alcinia had taken Jaden to the Midiclorians, it was the easy smile and steady eyes that had assured the five-year-old terrified child that everything was going to be all right. Now though, her mother's eyes were sad, and Jaden began sobbing.

"You have grown into a beautiful young woman, Jaden. Your strength and compassion are admirable. I am very proud of you," Alcinia told her as she sat down, aching to hold her daughter once more. "It was only a dream, Jaden, not a vision."

"It was so real. I couldn't help them. I can't do this, Mother. Dream or vision, I have destroyed their lives. I'm not strong enough to deal with what is to come."

"It is too dangerous for you to go home, you know that."

Jaden wiped the tears from her face and took a deep breath. "I continue to fall. What good will I be if I cannot come back? What will become of us all if he doesn't turn away the next time? It is not Zared that brings the dark side to the galaxy, Mother, it is me."

"Jaden . . ."

She shook her head, "The longer I remain away from the Valley of the Jedi, the more the dark side takes hold. I am the cause of the darkness."

Alcinia sighed and studied her daughter. Guilt was clear in Jaden's eyes and her heart. "Humanity has brought the dark side, Jaden. It is not your fault, nor are you adding to it."

"But I can feel . . ."

"Jaden, you have lived your life in . . . physical isolation. Even though you are the Force, you have not traveled among the people of this galaxy for very long. You are more susceptible to their emotions," Alcinia told her quietly.

"You make it sound like a virus," she answered still struggling to find some balance as the images of her friends still flashed through her mind.

"In a way I suppose it is. They have built up a level of immunity to the actions of others and their emotions; you have not. Because of that, you reflect those emotions more easily. The evil on Onderon; Vaklu's careless disregard for the people, his own selfish needs caused your fall."

"And earlier," Jaden whispered, "When we were passing Malachor V?"

Alcinia sighed. "Going home may restore you . . . for a while, but it will not give you what you need to defeat Zared."

Jaden looked away but nodded. She knew what she needed; the part of herself she had given to Carth. She squeezed her eyes shut. He was in danger of falling, he had taken the steps, and she _really_ wouldn't be able to live with herself, if he fell.

"He is frustrated, Jaden, and he struggles to find a way to help you. He cares very deeply for you."

"And I for him," Jaden acknowledged softly, she was beginning to understand the 'no attachments' rule of the Jedi.

"Your feelings do you credit, my daughter, but they can also be turned against you."

"The nightmare . . ."

"Yes. The guilt you feel, as the Force, for what his life has been, is what caused the dream, Jaden." Alcinia said with a reassuring tone. Her daughter had struggled greatly ever since she heard the voice that haunted her still, so many years ago. When Jaden learned who it was, she took on the blame personally for what had happened to one man even though others had suffered just as much or more.

"Then why show itself now?" She asked. "Why not before, when we first met or when he found out I was the one who killed Revan."

Alcinia sighed and studied her daughter. Despite her power, or maybe because of it, Jaden was a tormented soul. Dealing with life and death every moment and literally through her physical being was not an easy challenge. To Jaden, her power is as unconscious to her as breathing is to others. She does what she does simply because it is what Jaden is, so when Carth helped her daughter earlier, Alcinia suspected his unselfish act triggered her guilt to rear its ugly head and thus the nightmare.

"Admiral Onasi hadn't helped you before."

Jaden shook her head; "He's helping me by being here. He's here to save the Republic." Alcinia smiled at Jaden's naiveté. "What?"

"Jaden, not even I have ever . . . touched you the way he did. With no regard for his own alignment, or his life, he came after you to help you."

Jaden frowned ready to dispute that bit of information remembering the trick the dark side had played but wound up sighing instead.

"My time grows short. Trust in your friends, Jaden. You chose them in this quest for a reason," Alcinia spoke softly. "They are what is in you, use their strength."

Jaden nodded but couldn't stop the sigh, "I need to heal, Mother. I know they can help me, but how do I help them if I am not healed. I need to go home."

"Oh, Jaden, they can heal you," Alcinia said letting her shoulders sag. "Besides, the valley is closed to you and has been since you left it last. I'm sorry, daughter."

"Then I am alone," Jaden whispered looking at her mother with fear.

"No. You are never alone. I am, like the others, always here for you," she said standing and smiling at her daughter.

"Will I see you again?" Jaden asked desperately when she realized her mother was about to leave her, again.

"If it is allowed. I know this burden is a heavy one, Jaden, but never doubt that I love you, as do others." And with that, Alcinia faded away, her smile lingering in Jaden's mind.

* * *

"Ow!" Jaden muttered awake when she rolled over on her right shoulder. She sat up and carefully rubbed the pain away, and then stopped, thinking something was wrong. "I was awake, wasn't I?" she whispered into the darkened room. _A dream within a dream_? Well, a nightmare and a dream. The shadows of the nightmare where still there, causing a shiver to race along her spine, but her mother? That was real wasn't it? Even if it was only a dream, Jaden knew what she was told was true. She couldn't go home, and the actions Carth had taken earlier brought on her guilty emotions triggering the nightmare. Carth _had_ taken a tremendous risk in doing what he did and almost paid for it. Jaden needed to check on him, so she closed her eyes and found the voice. It was silent, but troubled.

The ship was eerily quiet when she entered the main hold. The meal was cleared away and T3 hooked to the main console, the Ebon Hawk's navigation and operating systems flashing on the monitor overhead.

"Beep, bwoop, dwoo?"

"I'm fine, T3. It was only a dream . . . this time."

"Boop, bweep?"

"I'm sure," Jaden said patting the droids head. "Are we headed for Spira?"

"Beep," but it was a hesitant answer and Jaden smiled.

"It's okay. Admiral Onasi is right, I do need to rest, but don't tell him that. He'll get a swelled head." She added a slight smile hoping it would allay the little droid's fears.

T3 whirled a few more beeps and told her he was on the bridge when she asked where Carth was. The droid added that the others were asleep and HK was in the maintenance hanger working on the weapons they would take to Korriban. Jaden thanked him again and went to the bridge.

Carth was asleep in the captain's chair, which he had reclined. His arms crossed over his middle, his legs propped on the small shelf on the console beside him. He looked peaceful, albeit not very comfortable, she thought as she sat on the arm of the other chair and watched him. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I never meant you any harm," she added quickly wiping away the tears that threatened to spill over. _I am exhausted_, she thought if a simple apology was bringing her to tears. Jaden needed to . . . recharge as HK would have put it, but since she couldn't go home . . . perhaps there was another way. She wouldn't take anything, but maybe just joining with Carth and sitting quietly while he slept, would renew some of her strength.

Jaden closed her eyes, calmed her mind and whispered, _"Vita vis vitea."_ Immediately she felt a sensation of warmth followed by a secure strength. An aura of peace and serenity enveloped them, the troubled voice calming. Jaden let the images of his mind pass by her. She was here to find solace, not eavesdrop on his thoughts, but she didn't miss the shame at what he had almost done.

"Jaden," he whispered with a sleepy smile. She hadn't meant to disturb him so she sat very still and said nothing. Moments later, Carth went back to a deep state of sleep and Jaden relaxed again.

Although she could block out the images of his mind, his feelings were a little different. Most of these feelings were neutral but some were intense, such as his affection of Kwyn, his best friend, Morgana his lost wife and Dustil. There was another, close to his heart, but Jaden didn't recognize who it might be. Over those closely held feelings was another layer, many she recognized as those that traveled with them and very few others. He held no truly dark feelings for anyone and Jaden was thankful she wasn't in that place, although he had every right to hate her.

~~ _It is not in him to hate_. ~~

~~ _Everyone can hate, Masters, and he has at one point in his life_. ~~ Jaden thought of Saul Karath and his bombing of Telos.

~~ _He is your creation, Child_. ~~

~~ _And I am the light and the dark. Why does he not hate me for that? I have given him the power to use his hate, to strike at those who have taken so much from him_. ~~

~~ _Do you wish that? Would that assuage the guilt you feel? _~~

Jaden didn't respond as she watched Carth sleep. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes once again.

~~ _The emotions of a human . . . _~~

~~ _I am human, Masters. I am your creation_. ~~

~~ _You are human, Twi'lek, Rodian, even Rancor and the food that feeds them all, but do not forget young one, what you really are. Come now,_ ~~ the voices told her sternly.

~~ _This is the first peace I have found in months and I cannot come home. A few minutes more,_ ~~ she stated unwilling to let go so soon.

~~ _You have taken enough, Child! _~~

The Masters were angry and perhaps the surprise at hearing it, is what caused Jaden to open her eyes and see Carth awake and watching her.

"She'll take what she needs," he said softly.

Jaden sucked in her breath unprepared for the forcefulness of her own power returning to her and she doubled over as if kicked in the gut. She fell to the floor holding her middle as power raced through her body seeking it's home. "NO!" She managed to cry out even as her breath left her. Jaden could see out of the corner of her eye, Carth's stunned look.

"_Vita vis vitea: _Release him," she whispered and Carth collapsed back into the chair. The flow of the Force immediately stopped and Jaden took several deep breaths as she gained her knees and crawled to him. "Carth?" she called out taking his hand.

"Huh? Jaden?" He turned his head and looked at her with a pained expression.

"Are you okay?" She asked rubbing her hand up his arm to his neck. His skin was cold and clammy.

"I think so. What a crazy dream."

"Dream?" She asked cautiously and hopeful at the same time.

"I was . . . your were there and . . . someone else?" he said shaking his head. "You were arguing . . . no . . ."

"Sounds like it was pretty weird," Jaden said quickly releasing her held breath. "I came in and you were . . . thrashing about."

"Wouldn't surprise me. They were trying to take you away and I couldn't stop . . . Ugh!" He moaned when he sat up.

"You're hurt," she said running her hands over his shoulders and down his arms. _What have I done?_

"Just what I deserve for sleeping in a chair at my age," he told her with a crooked smile as he rolled his shoulders and winced. Jaden watched him closely as he gingerly moved to the edge of the seat. "I feel like I've gone ten rounds too many with a training droid."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Jaden asked him again. She didn't know how he would react to losing some of the Force, but at least it wasn't as bad as she thought. The fact that he attributed the pain to sleeping in the chair was a good thing as far as she was concerned because Jaden wasn't certain how Carth would respond if he knew the truth.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Between sleeping in the chair and the drain from helping you earlier, I'm just wiped out," he said leaning forward, his head resting on his hands. Carth didn't notice Jaden's frown.

"You were hurt helping me." Jaden suddenly sat back on her heels. Carth turned his head and looked at her. She knelt beside him and looked very solemn. Her eyes were miserable and apprehensive and he wasn't sure how to interpret that, but Carth instinctively knew he needed to tread carefully. He wasn't certain she knew what he had almost done, stepping toward the dark side, so he smiled gently as he took her hand from his leg.

"No, I wasn't hurt. I guess you could say I have a new appreciation, though, of how draining the dark side could be." He brought her hand to his lips. The gesture brought her tears forward again, but Jaden battled them back.

"I'm sorry."

Carth cocked a brow at her, "It wasn't your fault." _It was mine for thinking I had settled my feelings for Morgana,_ he added silently_. _

Jaden nearly came undone at that comment but managed to hold it together. It was her fault, all of it and she was slowly realizing she would never be able to correct her mistakes of the past when it came to him.

"How are you doing? You were having your own weird dream when I checked on you earlier," he said brushing the hair from her eyes.

Jaden nodded, "Just a dream," she told him still not convinced that's what the nightmare was.

"Seems to be the night for weird dreams then, huh?" Carth smiled as he began to stand up and it was a good thing Jaden was beside him because his knees buckled and she managed to catch him before he fell on his face.

"Carth!"

"Dizzy," he said as he slung his arm around her shoulder. Jaden positioned herself by his side so she could support him. Fortunately, they were standing between the chair and the center console, so Jaden had extra help as she tried to steady his heavy weight.

"Come on, let's get you to bed."

"Actually, maybe I should sit back down," Carth muttered as he shook his head and then began to waver on his feet.

"There you are," Atton said as he came onto the bridge, "There's been a disturbance . . ."

"Atton!" Jaden said a bit to loud and a bit to cheerfully. She was damn glad to see him, because she wasn't sure she would be able to get Carth to a bed on her own. Where he was in pain, she was trying to control the power returned to her.

"Jaden!" He mimicked, and then noticed Carth hanging on to her looking pale and in pain. "Hey, what's going on?" Atton asked immediately sober.

"I went a few rounds with the chair and lost. That should make you happy, Atton."

Atton looked at Jaden. Something was very, very wrong. She gave him a brief warning look then quickly looked away. "Why don't you help him to a bed while I hunt up a blocker for him?"

"What happened? I was sound asleep until there was a . . . avalanche in the . . ."

"Atton, are you going to help me or not," Jaden snapped at him. Atton studied both of them and it was clear that Jaden was upset and Carth looked dead on his feet. He nodded once and moved to the other side of Carth.

"Let's go, poster boy," he grumbled before glaring at Jaden.

"Thank you, I'll get the blocker."

"Jaden, this is one time I wouldn't mind you healing me. I feel like I've been ripped apart," Carth said. Atton narrowed his eyes at her over Carth's head.

"Sorry, Onasi. I have no . . . cure for sleeping in chairs," she told him as she avoided Atton's look.

It was slow going and when they entered the main hold, Visas was coming down the corridor. "What happened?" she asked seeing Atton and Jaden helping Carth. Jaden carefully stepped away from him.

"Take him to my quarters. I'll get the blocker."

"What is going on?" Visas asked again but Jaden held up her hand and frowned, stopping any further questions before she headed for the medical bay.

"Atton?"

"I don't know, but I'm sure it's not good. Stall her until I get back."

"What's not good?" Carth mumbled.

"You," Atton replied practically dragging him to Jaden's quarters.

Visas found Jaden in the medical bay rifling through various cabinets, drawers and bottles. "Jaden?"

"Doesn't this damn ship have any blockers?" Jaden asked as she opened another drawer and began pawing through it. When it didn't reveal what she was looking for, she slammed it shut and moved to the next one.

"You're an embodier, you don't need blockers."

"I thought Onasi would have restocked the ship before we left the Sojourn." The next drawer held nothing and neither did the cabinet above her head, so she began rifling through the stuff on the counter. Jaden's panic was driving her and it was beginning to concern Visas.

"Why does the Admiral need a blocker?" She watched, fascinated as Jaden went through the bottles not really looking at them since she had picked up the blockers three times now and put them back. "Jaden, what happened? There's been a disturbance in the Force."

"According to Atton, it was an avalanche," she answered as she continued her search. When she picked up the blockers for the fifth time, Visas reached out and grabbed her arm.

"Jaden, stop. Tell me what happened." She said as she picked up the bottle Jaden was looking for and handed it to her. Jaden studied the bottle as if it was a new and wondrous thing. The tears were threatening to overwhelm her so she hung her head.

"I almost killed him, Visas." She whispered fondling the bottle in her fingers.

"What happened?" She asked again.

"That's what I would like to know," Atton said as he came into the medical bay. Jaden looked at him.

"How is he? Is he comfortable?"

"Well I didn't take his boots off, if that's what you mean," he snapped. Jaden flinched as if physically struck and her wounded look took some of the anger out of his sails. He took a deep breath and sighed. "Sorry, Jaden. He was passed out when I put him on the bunk. Now, what is going on?" He asked rubbing his brow.

Jaden sat down heavily and put her head in her hands. "I almost killed him."

Visas moved to her side and put a hand on her shoulder, then quickly removed it. "Jaden, you're burning up!"

Jaden looked up at her, "No, it's a side effect of the assimilation of my Force power."

"What?" Atton snapped.

"That's why the Admiral is so weak?" Visas prompted. Jaden nodded, her misery clear in the slump of her shoulders, the pallor of her face.

"Damn it, Jaden, you said you weren't going to take back your power unless it was absolutely necessary." Atton reminded her. "We need him . . . whole for him to be of any use."

"I know what I said, Atton." Her head snapped up. "It was a mistake, I didn't mean it to happen, but he was pulled in . . . he heard my conversation . . ." She trailed off remembering the look on Carth's face. "I can't go home. I was going to sit quietly and just . . ." She hung her head and sniffed back the tears.

"So you do have a bond." Atton was beginning to believe Carth was right in that Jaden held things back.

She sighed and shook her head, "No. For the last time, there is no bond. I . . . joined with him."

"Joined?" He asked.

"To become one," Visas explained.

Atton started to say one thing then shook his head. "Maybe you should start at the beginning," he suggested. _Maybe I should look at the library on Coruscant as well,_ he thought. He had learned about more Force powers in the last few weeks than he wanted to.

Jaden took a drink from the glass Visas offered her and began with the nightmare. She left out their roles in it; she saw no reason to let them know how vulnerable she felt at being unable to help them. From the nightmare she moved on to the vision of her mother and again only told them that Jaden's mother told her the Valley of the Jedi was closed to her, Jaden wouldn't be able to come home despite her need to heal. "My mother told me that Carth's unselfish act of helping me earlier is what triggered the nightmare/dream," she took a deep breath, "So I went to check on him."

"And?" Atton demanded. He knew there was more to the story, but it would have to wait.

Jaden studied him for a moment before she glanced at Visas. "Since I can't go home, I figured I would join with Carth. I wouldn't do anything that was intrusive, I would just sit there and absorb some of his strength."

"What went wrong?" Visas asked.

"I'm not sure," Jaden said shaking her head. "The Midiclorians started speaking to me. At one point, they said I had taken enough. I told them I need a few more minutes. They didn't agree." _Moreover, they were angry,_ she thought. That troubled her as she stopped to take a drink. When Visas urged her on, she took a deep breath and continued.

"I don't know why I did, but I opened my eyes and Carth was awake, looking at me. He said I would take what I need." She unconsciously rubbed her midsection.

"And because you were joined, what you gave him to restore his life returned to you?" Atton asked hesitantly. Jaden shook her head.

"Not all of it. I released him from the joining. That stopped the flow."

"The disturbance in the Force." Visas stated. The misery her friend was feeling at harming Admiral Onasi was rippling through the Force, though she doubted Jaden realized it.

"Yes. When I severed the link, it would have sent a shockwave through the Force."

"A shockwave," Atton began, "through the Force. So we . . . what exactly does that mean?" He asked as he tugged on his ear and closed his eyes.

"A shockwave was sent through the Force. Anyone with any connection to the Force felt it."

Visas and Jaden watched Atton as he began to pace the small room. He stopped once at the doorway to the room where the queen was lying peacefully before he moved on. Atton didn't fully understand what this joining meant, but based on Jaden's description he had a pretty good idea. As Visas had said, Jaden had somehow become one with Carth. Breaking the flow was like a door slamming shut, the sound echoing across the galaxy.

"Zared felt it too?" He asked.

"Yes, as I'm sure Master Vandar did as well," she answered. "It was stupid and selfish of me, I know that."

"Does he know where we are now?" Visas asked. Jaden nodded seeing no reason to elaborate.

"So what does this mean for Onasi?" Atton asked his mind suddenly revving up.

"He thinks it was a dream and that sleeping in the chair is why he's so sore and beat up. Part may be from earlier, when he came after me." _And took those damn steps!_

"So he'll recover. He can still protect you on Spira?" Atton asked stopping his pacing.

Jaden didn't answer him, but said instead, "I need to check on him," as she began leaving the room.

"Jaden!" Atton yelled following her. "Damn it, Jaden answer me!" He caught up to her in the main hold and grabbed her arm, spinning her around. "Answer me, Jaden. Is Carth still capable of protecting you? Can he still use the Force?"

Jaden studied the fury in Atton's eyes. His fall to the dark side earlier hadn't completely faded yet and was pulling at her, but thanks to her boost of power, it wasn't sending her plunging toward darkness. She had had enough of that for one day. "I don't know," she told him as she yanked her arm free.

"The Admiral will need to be told," Visas said watching the two stare at each other.

"I _will_ tell him, Jaden." Atton threatened. Jaden briefly closed her eyes and swallowed.

"I'll talk to him," she whispered, then cleared her throat. "In the meantime, T3, you need to contact General Lavek and tell him we will be rendezvousing earlier than expected." Jaden turned from Atton and started down the corridor toward her quarters and Carth.

"Jaden," Atton called after her, but Visas stopped him from following by grabbing his arm.

"Let her be, Atton. There is more there, but she needs to deal with it."


	22. Chapter 21

Jaden locked the door when she entered her quarters, to find Carth lying partially off the bed. Atton had literally dumped him on the bunk and didn't care he had half-missed. Looking at him, she felt an overwhelming sense of helplessness and despair. She took a shallow breath, set the small bottle on the table and went to his side. His breathing was steady but labored.

Stripping off her jacket, she picked up his feet and gently placed them on the bed. Carth moaned but otherwise didn't move. "Sorry," she whispered with a wince, before she carefully took one boot in her hand and tugged. Carth grunted. "Sorry," she told him and dropped the boot to the floor before tugging off the other and adding to the small pile at the foot of the bunk.

"Come on, Onasi," she said taking a deep breath as she grabbed him under the arms and lifted him toward her. Carth groaned and Jaden whispered her apologies in his ear as she worked to get his jacket off. "Hang in there, Onasi," she said softly battling back her tears. He groaned again as Jaden went to work on removing his utility belt. She silently swore at Atton for his careless handling of Carth. When he dropped him on the bed, Carth landed on his saber at the middle of his back. She let the belt fall to the floor and took a steadying breath. Atton was damn lucky the saber didn't engage.

Jaden began pulling his shirt from his pants ignoring the chill of his body. "Carth? I need you to wake up, Handsome." She yanked the shirt free then began working the buttons, a difficult maneuver with Carth's head leaning on her shoulder. "Come on, Onasi, wake up!" His lack of response was terrifying her. He was stronger than most, he shouldn't be this out of it. She finished the buttons, but the way Carth was leaning on her was making it difficult to get his shirt off. His arms were uncooperative, hanging at his sides like sausages she saw tacked up at a market. Jaden had to check for any physical damage caused by the release of her power, but she needed him awake. Her exhaustion was weighing on her, she was angry with Atton, and she was almost in tears. Jaden pulled him closer and laid her head on his shoulder. "Please wake up," she begged softly running her hand over the back of his head.

Carth had been drifting on a fog. He remembered Atton dropping him on the bed and he knew when Jaden came into the cabin, but other than that, the ship could have exploded and he wouldn't notice. He had tried to answer her when she spoke to him, but he couldn't make his mouth move. He hurt everywhere and maybe it was a blessing because as Jaden was undressing him, every movement had been anguish.

~~ _I'm trying, _~~ he thought after her latest plea filled with regret and sorrow. He could hear the tears in her voice as she whispered to him.

~~ _You are weakened,_ ~~ the voices said.

~~ _What's happening to me? _~~

~~ _You need time_. ~~

~~ _Time for what, damn it? _~~ Carth demanded

~~ _You must heal her. _~~

~~ _No more damn cryptic riddles! Answer me or bother me no more! _~~

There was silence and for that Carth was thankful. _Damn Force_, he thought, _no wonder the galaxy was falling apart, and it wouldn't give you a straight answer even when your life depended on it._

~~ _Guilt can cause dreams, even nightmares. They are not always, what they seem_. ~~

~~ _What? _~~ Carth asked with resignation.

~~ _Dreams. Forgive her for she has never meant to harm you._ ~~

~~ _Forgive her for what? _~~

~~ _Awaken_. ~~

Carth slowly opened his eyes. He still felt disoriented, but one thing was for sure; his head pounded and his body ached. On top of that, he was freezing and Jaden was burning up. "No flowers? No dinner? If you started on our hours without me, I'm going to be pissed," he said with a raspy voice. Jaden arms tightened. "Ouch!" She sat back from him and gave him a watery smile.

"You're awake," she stated brushing the hair from his face and giving him a pleased smile.

"You're crying."

"Sorry," she answered brushing away her tears quickly. "When you wouldn't wake up . . ."

"Thought you lost me?" He asked. Jaden didn't respond and Carth let it drop.

"How are you feeling?" She asked as she idly traced her fingers across his jaw.

"Like I've been beat to hell. And freezing," he answered. "Why is it so cold in here?"

"It's . . . I brought you some blockers." Jaden got up and went to the table. Carth watched her closely and took the bottle from her before she went to get him some water. He frowned at her back, wondering what she was going to say before she mentioned the blockers. "Here," Jaden said handing him the glass.

His fingers brushed hers the heat was incredible. "I know I'm freezing, but you're burning up. I felt it when I came to," he said before tossing back four of the capsules and drinking the water.

"It's fine," she said picking up his jacket and belt from the floor and placing them on the small stool he had used when he patch up her arm. The cabin use to be one of the crew quarters, but she had modified it to meet her needs, halving the room with a bulkhead and adding its own shower area. Among other things and she was thankful it wasn't discovered when the technicians from the Sojourn had repaired the ship.

"Jaden?" He handed her the glass.

"Let's get you comfortable. You need to rest, that's the best thing." She set the glass aside then carefully helped him out of his shirt.

He reached up capturing her wrists. "Jaden, what are you not telling me?"

"Hmmm? Nothing," she said looking away from him. He had that suspicious look in his eyes and it caused her nerves to jump wildly.

"Jaden?"

"It's nothing," she stressed with a strained smile. "It can wait until morning."

Carth let her go and began rubbing his temples. Jaden quickly went down on her knees. "What is it? What's going on?" She asked putting her hands on his legs.

"I just need the blockers to kick in," he answered looking at her and that's when he noticed the guilt in her eyes. She was almost frantic with the emotion and it was mixed with terror. He slowly lowered his hands and covered hers. _'She never meant to harm you,'_ popped into his mind. "It wasn't a dream, was it?"

Jaden slid from her knees to sit on the floor and leaned against the bed resting her head on his leg. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to . . ." she whispered squeezing her eyes tight as she wrapped her arm around his leg seeking an anchor for her emotions. Even the voice radiated pain and brought her no peace as it usually did; it was struggling to comprehend what had happened.

"Sweetheart, what happened?" He asked pulling her hair behind her ear.

"You need to rest. It can wait."

Carth frowned at her, she was clinging to his leg as if it was the last safe port in a storm and it was obvious she was distressed. "No, it can't. You're clearly upset about what happened, so tell me."

Jaden sighed and lifted her head. She didn't want to tell him because she wasn't ready to deal with Carth's reaction. Even though she was stronger, Jaden still felt exhausted. She swallowed back her emotions when Carth reached down and turned her chin so she would look at him.

"Please, tell me. I can see the pain in your eyes," he whispered. "I can't help you if you don't tell me the truth." Jaden released him as he scooted back on the bed, patting the space beside him. She crawled up and lay beside him. Despite the pain moving caused, Carth pulled her close and nestled her head on his shoulder. Her extreme heat was soaking in, warming him and he welcomed it. He couldn't remember ever being so cold. "The beginning is usually the best place to start," he said softly, playing with her hair. Jaden shifted and put her hand over his heart. It beat strong and steady and her need to calm the voice gave her the courage to go on.

"Earlier, I had a . . . nightmare," she began and told him only the parts that didn't involve him or the others. She used the same approach when she explained about seeing her mother and learning she could not return to the Valley of the Jedi. "I can't go home," she whispered, "until this is over." The sense of loss in her tone tore at Carth.

"Going home would be risky," he nodded, "Zared could follow us," he said trying to reassure her.

"You don't understand. Without access to the Valley I become weaker, my balance more precarious."

"And your mother told you this?" He asked holding her just a little tighter.

"No. I knew it was a possibility, she just confirmed it. Carth, I don't know how to deal with this. I've always been able to return home, I feel . . . abandoned."

_She wasn't alone, each of them was here for her, didn't she realize that?_ Carth kissed her forehead, "But that's not all, is it. Something else happened."

"Yes," she answered on a sigh. "Beside being unsettled from the nightmare, I didn't know what consequences your actions earlier may have had, so I sought you out to make sure I hadn't hurt you when you helped me. I needed some peace, so when I found you on the bridge asleep . . . I joined with you."

"Joined? Not bonded?" He asked silently thinking about the steps and how Jaden could have possibly hurt him. She was the one who had been in danger.

"There is no bond, Carth," she sighed with resignation. "I'm tired of people asking me that."

"Then what is . . . a joining?"

Jaden hesitated and braced herself for his reaction. "We became one." When there was no immediate eruption of temper, Jaden slowly let out the breath she had been holding.

"So the voices I thought I dreamed were real. They _were_ trying to take you away from me." His tone was so possessive it warmed and broke Jaden's heart all at once.

"The Midiclorians," she said nodding against his chest. "They wanted me to break the connection. I didn't mean to intrude, Carth. I just wanted to find some peace, renew my strength." She could feel him struggle with his emotions, and it stabbed at her.

"Intrude?" He asked then shook his head. "No, we'll talk about what that means later. So then what happened?" Jaden felt his anger at her confession about intruding on his thoughts, but was thankful he didn't pursue it. Later was going to be soon enough.

"You became aware and . . ."

"Aware?" He interrupted.

"You woke up," she told him, leaving off the part that he had awoken in the Force on his own, which meant he was very powerful indeed. "I don't know what caused it, but when I opened my eyes you were awake and said I would take what I need." Carth nodded, remembering. "If I had known what would happen I never would have joined with you. I swear, Carth, I never meant to hurt you," she emphasized softly as she brushed at a tear.

"What exactly was it, you didn't mean to have happen?" The suspicion in his voice had her bracing for the worst.

"Because of the circumstances and what you said trying to help me, part of the power I have given you returned to me. That is why you feel so sore and cold. The physical toll on your body and the shock of the . . . trauma." _There I told him_, she thought. Now she would deal with the consequences, she thought as she moved away from him.

Carth watched as Jaden checked for any wounds. He didn't protest when she asked him to roll over. He was bruised and had a rash of sorts on his abdomen, but other than that, there were no other markings, at least not from this. He still sported some ugly welts from the Force Lightning he received earlier.

"So, do you have all your power back?" He asked when she pulled a blanket over him. Jaden didn't miss the hopeful note in his tone, and she was sorry she would have to dash that hope.

"No. As soon as I realized what was happening, I severed the connection. That stopped the flow."

He reached over and took her hand. A part of him was furious with her and disappointed that it wasn't over. He set aside the internal battle and tugged her closer. "You're exhausted. You can tell me the rest in the morning."

"Carth, there is something you need to know," she said as she lay down next to him. He turned his head and looked at her. "Because of what happened, there's been a disturbance in the Force," she said watching him. His brow furrowed as he thought about that.

"I remember Atton saying something about a disturbance."

"Yes. It was much stronger for him and Visas being so close, but it will spread," she said cautiously.

"How far? Across the galaxy?"

"Yes."

"So the Jedi will know something happened," he stated as stared at the ceiling. _I'm not going to like this._

"Yes, and any connected to the Force."

"Any?"

"Yes."

"Zared," he sighed and closed his eyes after a few moment thought. "How soon?" He asked softly. Jaden only shrugged.

Carth nodded while pulling Jaden closer to him. The familiar sense of comfort was back and for that he was thankful. He didn't want to deal with what this meant and, if he was honest, he didn't want to think at all. He wanted to lie still and let the blockers take away the pain. "We need to get some sleep," he said before giving her a long lingering kiss. Jaden's anxiety was slowly fading as the kiss went on. Her body began to relax and when Carth ended the kiss, she was nearly asleep. He tightened his arms around her, bringing her closer and for the first time in days, Jaden felt protected and at peace.

* * *

He lay awake waiting for the third round of blockers to take effect. The other two doses hadn't even put a dent in the pain so he was fairly certain this dose wouldn't either, but he remained hopeful. Jaden lay next to him, sleeping deeply. Her breathing was slow and steady and Carth closed his eyes and concentrated on her. When she told him Carth was fairly certain she had left out the most important part; while seeing people tortured was disturbing, he suspected those people were Visas, Atton, himself among others. So why not say that? He himself had relived the nightmare of Morgana's death more times, than he wanted to admit. If it hadn't been for this sense of peace that was always near, he would have gone insane.

Then there was Jaden talking about the appearance of her mother and being told she couldn't go home. Jaden said that by being cut off from the Valley, she would become weaker and her balance more precarious. _What, exactly, did that mean, _he asked himself. Carth knew the Jedi Council had the power to cut someone off from the Force. That is what the Exile believed and why he had hunted them down and murdered them all those years ago. This however was different; Jaden still had her force power. That was evident by the results of Jaden joining with him. And what the hell did she mean by saying they had become one? How 'intrusive' was this joining? His head began to pound at a fierce rate; it wasn't just the transfer of power that was causing it, but his tight control on his anger with Jaden as well.

He slowly sat up and looked down at her. "You gave me back my life; you have protected me from harm and continue to do so. So, why can't I just accept that, why do I feel so frustrated with you?" He whispered. Carth released a quiet sigh and got up carefully, each movement feeling like tiny needles creeping along his skin. He pulled on his shirt but didn't button it and he knew his boots would have to wait. He needed to find something stronger, or he would be no good to anyone.

The ship was quiet as he made his way toward the medical bay to find something for the pain. He stopped and read the monitor above the queen to make sure she was healing before he went to the cabinet in search of the blockers. When he found what he wanted, he turned around to find Visas standing in the doorway.

"How are you feeling?" She asked watching him closely. The pain was evident on his face and in each of his slow movements.

"Like I could use a couple of hours in a Kolto tank, and I hate Kolto tanks." He grumped.

Visas gave him a faint smile. "How is Jaden?"

"Sleeping," Carth answered before shaking out a couple of capsules and swallowing them dry. He watched as Visas went to the queen and checked several items on the monitor beside the bed.

"Will she be well enough to transfer to Spira?" He asked and raised a brow when Visas stiffened and hesitated. "It's okay Visas. Jaden told me what happened," he added noticing Visas physically relax.

"But she didn't tell you that we are no longer going to Spira, that we are rendezvousing with the Sojourn." His stoicism was all the answer Visas needed and she sighed, "Because of the disturbance in the Force caused by . . . well, it is too dangerous for us to stay in one place."

"Us?" He asked with skepticism.

"Yes, us. All of us, Admiral, but I will allow that you and Jaden are in the most danger."

"Me? Are we back to Admiral Onasi, keeper of the light side, savior of the galaxy?" He asked with a disgusted look.

"Admiral, because you have lost your power . . ."

"Hell Visas, I didn't lose anything. Jaden told me she ended the . . . joining," he waved a hand in frustration, "as soon as she realized what was going on."

"So you can . . ."

"Still hear the Force? Yeah," he snapped, "and do all sorts of things." Carth added holding out his hand and having a small bottle fly into it.

"You're angry," she stated after watching him prowl the medical bay for a few minutes. Although his pace was a laborious one, his breathing was agitated.

"Damn straight! Why did she end this . . . joining," he demanded waving his hand about, "she would have her power back. Jaden would be strong enough to defeat Zared and we can all get back to a happy balanced galaxy." He snorted in disgust as he continued to pace. So that was the heart of his anger, she thought. Jaden could have ended this nightmarish . . .

"You've seen the results of what even a small return of Jaden's power would do to you. This will only confirm to her that if she takes more, you will die. Jaden will not let that happen."

"And I don't matter in the scheme of things!" He shouted as he plowed his hands through his hair, cringing.

"You do to her," she told him quietly. Carth sat down heavily in the chair by the queen and hung his head.

"Put yourself in her shoes. Would you be willing to sacrifice Jaden?" Visas asked knowing it was a low blow to use his feelings for Jaden, but he refused to see, or maybe accept was the better term, that he was more important to her than her own survival. Yes, the effect on the Force would be tremendous, but another would come along to restore balance.

Carth was saved from answering by the beeping from Queen Talia's monitor, but to his way of thinking, he _was_ expected to sacrifice Jaden. _At least as it stood now_, he thought as an idea began to form in his mind.

With the queen awake and asking questions, Carth answered the best he could, explaining where she was and who they were. It was a little uncomfortable trying to clarify that this wasn't a Republic or Jedi sanctioned mission but he thought he handled it fairly well. Talia went on to ask about Iziz and Vaklu. Carth knew she was tiring so he quickly related that the Republic would launch an investigation. He was glad to excuse himself and headed toward the bridge only to find Atton was waiting for him in the main hold.

"Did I hear the queen?" He asked watching as Carth moved gingerly into the room. He was acting like an old man, supporting himself as he moved from console to chair as he circled the room.

"Yes, Visas is checking her injuries," he answered with a grimace.

"Is she all right?"

"I think so," Carth said.

"What about you?" Atton asked studying him as Carth leaned against the center console and flinched.

"Just waiting for the blockers to kick in," he answered rubbing his shin. He had smacked it on a chair and the pain spiked to mingle with the rest swirling through his body.

"Damn it! She didn't heal you," he practically shouted.

"Atton, it's fine," Carth sighed.

"No it's not. Jaden shouldn't have joined with you." He stated.

"Well she did, and let's just leave it at that, okay?" He snapped at Atton's annoyed tone. "I can still use the Force, hear the Force, and hopefully the pain will subside here, real soon."

"So you didn't lose your power." Atton asked and Carth shook his head. "That's something I suppose."

"Yeah," he said derisively still angry because Jaden hadn't taken it all. "I need to check in with Kwyn. Do you know where the droids are? T3 has my comm unit."

"T3's on the bridge and HK is in the maintenance garage."

"Thanks."

"Uh, Onasi? How's Jaden?"

"Sleeping," Carth said limping slowly away. Atton nodded.

* * *

Zared stood on the silent bridge of the Gehenna, waiting to leave orbit around Tatooine. They had recovered the metal cylinder object and Radha Amanuensis was working on the translation. One of the keys to the Valley of the Jedi. Radha kept assuring him they were close to finishing, but Zared had to wonder if Radha really understood what they were doing. The ancient man was the most knowledgeable about the True Sith, so he would just have to trust him. Jaden would know, of course, but she wouldn't tell him and he wasn't going to go back on his word not to harm Dustil Onasi. It hadn't surprised him that the tracer place on the boy had been found. Zared smiled, that must have been some fight between Jaden and Admiral Onasi, when he found out. It was a given that the Admiral would think she had done it. He was sorry he missed it.

Zared sighed thinking about his counterpart. Something had happened last night. The disturbance in the Force had woken him and Zared knew immediately Jaden had something to do with it. Why, he wasn't sure; Jaden wasn't that strong in the Force. Powerful yes, almost matching his own, but he was beginning to suspect there was more to Jaden than what he believed. He knew where she physically was, but she was blocked from his thoughts and Zared suspected it was the same for her. By now, Admiral Onasi would know where his ship was so they were evenly matched as far as tracking each other, but it bothered Zared that he couldn't sense Jaden through the Force. What was stopping her from screaming up behind him on some Republic battle cruiser?

"Milord, we are ready to leave orbit. Should I plot an intercept course with the Ebon Hawk?"

Zared looked at the man who had joined him. Captain Balla was capable enough but for some reason Zared found his deference annoying. _Minions,_ he thought, _what a pain in the ass._ It was at times like this that he mourned the loss of Revan. She would have handled all of this. "No, I have been assured we will have our location shortly. Besides, the Ebon Hawk will be meeting up with the Sojourn. However, I want you to send ten squads to Korriban. I have a mission for them. They will accompany some of my guard."

"A mission, milord?" Captain Balla asked. Zared raised an intimidating black brow at the mans audacity. A fine bead of sweat broke out on the captain's upper lip. "Eh, so they know how best to prepare, milord," Balla clarified quickly.

"Tell them to prepare to die," Zared answered turning his back on the man effectively dismissing him. He wondered briefly if Admiral Onasi had this much trouble with his crew. Doubtful, since as a lowly pilot during the Mandalorian wars, Carth Onasi was able to inspire loyalty and trust in his fellow soldiers. He wasn't even in command and the men would follow Onasi into the middle of a firefight without a second thought. Not even the Jedi he fought beside were capable of that. Oh sure, they followed Revan and Malak, but when push came to shove, some had deserted the ranks when Revan became a Dark Lord of the Sith. The fact that he was one of them was inconsequential in his mind. He didn't leave because he was afraid of the dark side, no, he left because he felt nothing and frightened him even more. He had taken his abilities for granted and when they were gone, well, it was akin to being a newborn, learning how to do everything once more. Kreia said loved him because he had learned to live without the Force, but didn't most in the galaxy live that way? She told him he had created a wound in the Force, was slowly causing it's death, so why reawaken his connection? Why turn him to the dark side? She knew of course, what his destiny would be and in a way, he hated Kreia for not telling him before he killed her at Malachor V, everyone else's destiny, sure, but not his. _No loss you are gone, you spiteful witch!_

Zared often wondered where his path would have led if he had joined Revan after the Mandalorian's defeat instead of returning for trial and going into exile. Would he have been her apprentice instead of Malak? Would they have become lovers then instead of later when he had found her on the Sith home world? He had been furious when he learned that Jaden had killed Revan, but she had made it clear she would defend herself if Revan attacked. That wouldn't have been necessary if HK had been there, but since the droids now traveled with Jaden, he could only assume Revan had left her assassination droid behind when she went to find the Admiral. He regretted her loss, but perhaps the Force, all along, had destined it.

He watched out the window as the Gehenna jumped into hyperspace. The Force, light or dark, it was only a matter of philosophy. And soon, he though with a wicked smile, it would be his.

* * *

"Thank the Force. When Vandar told me last night that something had happened to you I feared the worst," Kwyn told Carth when he answered his link. He had been pacing his quarters ever since Vandar had come to his room telling him there had been a disturbance in the Force. Kwyn's heart had fallen to his feet fearing his friend was dead.

"A little beat up, but I'm fine."

"And the others? What happened?"

"It's a long story, Kwyn, but everyone is fine," he said.

"I'll let Dustil know."

"Dustil?" Carth asked.

"Yeah. He showed up about two minutes after Vandar saying something had happened," Kwyn said picturing Carth with his eyes closed and sighing. Dustil had been almost frantic. The disturbance had awoken him and he couldn't feel anything from his father. That was something only Kwyn knew about, Dustil's ability to feel his father through the Force and he was sworn to secrecy.

~~_ Anyone connected to the force. _~~

~~ _I don't want my son connected to the Force,_ ~~ he snapped at the voices in his head.

"I'm assuming what happened is the reason I got an order from an Astromech droid to change course to rendezvous with the Ebon Hawk?" Kwyn chuckled. "Damn persistent little thing. Protective too," he added.

Carth looked over at T3, hooked to the navigation console of the ship beeping quietly. "What do you mean?" He asked with narrowed eyes.

"He basically told me to change course on Jaden's orders or she would make my life a living hell. When I said I wanted to speak with you or Jaden, I was told neither of you could be disturbed. The droid had his orders and he was following them." Kwyn tried to sound affronted but the snickers of laughter came through.

"T3?" Carth asked over his shoulder.

"Beep, boop dweep."

Kwyn laugh quietly. "Let it go, Carth. I had already changed course anyway. Vandar told me it would be too dangerous for the Ebon Hawk to go to Spira and that we needed to meet you ahead of originally planned."

"Do I command anything?" he asked the rhetorical question shaking his head and regretting it as it began throbbing once more.

"What did happen?"

Carth tuned out T3's quiet beeps of doom and gloom and explained what had been going on including Jaden's explanation about her nightmare and the vision of her mother. Anticipating Kwyn's question Carth also told him that he was still able to use the Force. He also, reluctantly, admitted he would probably need a Kolto tank.

"You hate Kolto tanks."

"The blockers aren't working," Carth snapped.

"I'll alert the medical officer." Kwyn knew there was more to Carth's anger than having to spend time in a Kolto tank.

"Sorry, Kwyn. I feel so frustrated at the moment. Look, let the medical officer know that Queen Talia is awake as well. I'll ask Visas to transmit what ever information she has on her condition."

"Anything else?"

"Did you find out what Vandar wanted from Dustil?" Carth asked rubbing his temples. The pounding in his head seemed to grow stronger with each minute.

"No. Dustil was pretty tight lipped about it, but he did say he would check up on Tuluk. He also noticed his interest in the queen and thought it odd."

"And now we're going to deliver her anyway. If this gets out, Vaklu and Irudu are going to have a field day. Retirement is looking better and better," Carth said on a gusty sigh.

"So you and Dustil can troll the cantina for women?" Kwyn quipped.

"Huh?"

"Never mind. I'll see you in a few hours."

* * *

Kwyn turned off the communicator and returned to the bridge. What a mess, he thought as he sank into the command chair and brushed his hair from his eyes. He needed a haircut, but with everything going on it wasn't going to happen. Kind of like the sleep he needed, that wasn't happening either. He rubbed his tired eyes thinking about why Carth was frustrated and it wasn't because Jaden had severed this link she created ending the transfer of her power. No, Carth was upset because he couldn't figure out how to make it happen again. He knew his friend didn't have a death wish, only wanted this whole mess done and over with. Kwyn wondered if Dustil could find out about this joining business, because as sure as the sun rises, Carth would want to know about it.

"General Lavek."

Kwyn pulled himself from his musings and looked at the Lieutenant beside him. "Yes?"

"Sir, the Gehenna has left orbit around Tatooine."

"And the day just gets better and better," Kwyn mumbled. "Alert all commands. Let them know they are to notify us immediately if the Gehenna is seen."

"Yes, Sir."

Kwyn gave the bridge a quick scan to see the men going about their jobs as if nothing was wrong. They were loyal to the Admiral and would die for him; he only hoped if it came to that it wouldn't be in vain. Kwyn feared time was running out, and he hoped that whatever sacrifice they made would be for a balanced galaxy. "Captain Myr? Let's see if we can't get a little more out of the engines and catch up with the Ebon Hawk."

"Yes, General."

"Kwyn?"

He turned in the chair to find Bastila coming on the dais. She used a cane and had a slight limp, but other that, and a few cuts and bruises, she would be fine. Of the ten Jedi trapped with her, Bastila and two others had survived. One of them was still in critical condition. "How are you feeling?"

"Much better, thanks to you. If you hadn't found us when you did, I fear none of us would be alive," she said softly.

"Don't thank me, Bastila. It was actually Jaden who told us you were alive in the sub-level of the enclave."

"Jaden?" she asked with a slight frown. "I see." Kwyn wondered at her tone. It was almost as if Bastila was disappointed to learn that. "Have you heard from the Ebon Hawk? From Carth?" she asked and Kwyn felt he was beginning to understand. Men being the dense creature they could be.

"I spoke with him earlier. We should be meeting up with them in a few hours."

"Good. Did he say what happened? What caused the disturbance in the Force?" When Kwyn only nodded, she demanded, "Well?"

"Why don't you find Vandar and Dustil and I'll meet you in the conference room."


	23. Chapter 22

"T3?" Carth asked as he closed his eyes. If he sat very still, the aching in his body was almost bearable. Now, if he could just get his head to stop trying to gallop off his shoulders, he'd be good.

"Beep?"

"Bad droid."

"Dwoo." The whistle had so much forlorn innocence in it Carth's lips twitched despite his annoyance.

"So what terrible things would Jaden had done if General Lavek hadn't changed course?"

"Beep, bwoop, boop dweep."

"Mmm, hives? Somehow I think that's an understatement," Carth said somewhat disappoint the droid didn't say the plague, a third leg, or some other dreadful disease.

"Dwee, bop, boop, dwoo?"

Carth sighed, "No T3, I'm not angry you changed course. You did what you were told."

"Dwee, boop, bwoop?"

"I don't know if I'm angry with Jaden," Carth said closing his eyes. Of all the years he had known the droid, its ability to pick up on human emotion was the one that amazed him out the most. If he didn't know better, he would think there was a very short person hiding in there somewhere.

"Beep, boop."

Carth opened one eye and looked at the droid. "She needs to focus on the galaxy's best interests, not mine."

T3 added a few more twerps and beeps. Carth got up at that point and went to the droid. "I like her too, T3. That's the problem," he answered softly before leaving the bridge.

Canderous, Atton and Visas were sitting in the main hold having breakfast. When Carth plopped into a chair, Visas placed a plate in front of him, "I was just coming to get you," she said.

Carth thanked her and caught everyone up on his conversation with Kwyn about Tuluk and his interest in the queen. Canderous suggested that perhaps the queen should have some guards until they had a better idea about what was happening with Tuluk and Carth agreed.

"So," Canderous went on, "What the hell happened last night."

"You . . ." Visas started

"Felt something? Knocked me out of my bed. Shockwaves will do that. Now, what happened?"

"But you're not Force Sensitive," Atton asked narrowing his eyes, "Are you?"

"No, but standing at ground zero would do that, wouldn't it?" Canderous asked angrily. He didn't appreciate being thrown from his bed on the first night he had a chance to really sleep. When his head hit the pillow, he thought he had died and gone to heaven. Mandalorians were trained not to need a great deal of sleep, but after spending months in the prison on Iziz, it was a small pleasure he was ready to allow himself.

Carth asked him to calm down and explained what had happened and the consequences. Canderous fired off question after question and Carth answered the best he could, but his head was pounding and Atton's snide side comments weren't helping the situation. He was thankful when Visas rescued him from the impromptu interrogation.

"Since Jaden is an embodier, she has learned more about the power of the Force than even the greatest masters. Her abilities far outweigh ours in magnitude. Just because she gave some of her power to save the Admiral, doesn't mean she lost her knowledge of how to do things using the Force."

Canderous went back to asking questions but Atton and Visas were the ones to explain about the difference between joining and mind tricks.

"Would the archives have knowledge of this?" Carth asked when there was a lull in the conversation.

"Doubtful," Visas answered.

Atton narrowed his eyes at Carth, "What are you thinking?"

"Huh? Nothing," he answered as he reached up and idly scratched his neck.

Canderous had known him long enough to know what that gesture meant. "He's thinking, how do I learn to do this," he pointed out with a smirk. Carth guiltily let his hand slide down to the table.

"Admiral?"

Carth didn't answer Visas, but instead gave her an affectionate smile, rose and headed for Jaden's quarters.

-----

Jaden was still asleep when Carth came into the room, locking the door behind him. He went to the bed and lay down beside her. She woke long enough to snuggle next to him and put her head on his shoulder.

"Where did you go?" She asked sleepily.

"To get more blockers," he answered then gave her a reassuring squeeze when she stiffened. "That led to talking to the queen . . ."

"She's awake," she asked around a yawn.

"Only briefly. She's sleeping. Anyway, I decided to check in with Kwyn then Visas made breakfast."

"And the blockers?" Jaden asked hesitantly.

"Not working. I'll spend some time in a Kolto tank, which should work. You can watch me flail about while the med techs check your arm," he told her lightly.

"It's not funny, Carth," she whispered, "I almost killed you."

"But you didn't," he said then paused and gathered his strength for the next part. "If the Kolto tank will heal me, I want you to do it again."

"No."

"Yes. Okay, it's obvious to me now, that if you took back all your power then yes, it would kill me." He kissed her forehead, "And I know you don't want to do it because of that." He stopped and let Jaden go so she could sit up. "But, sweetheart, we have to be realistic. You're going to need your power to defeat the Exile."

"I'll find another way," she told him as she adjusted her shirt and hugged her arms around her knees. She knew this was coming. He was a smart man and it didn't take him long to come up with this harebrained scheme.

"There is no other choice," he told her taking her hand. "But, maybe how you take back your power can be controlled."

"Admiral, I won't . . ."

"Hear me out," he said as he carefully sat up. "Yes, I'm sore, I ache and my head is throbbing but that's the extent of the damage and if the Kolto will take that away then you should be able to retrieve your power a little at a time. We'll do it in stages; a couple of days in-between."

Jaden studied him, wondering if he could possibly understand what he was saying. He wasn't the only one suffering. "It's . . . hard on the Force. The disturbance it causes," she told him.

"You're worried about Zared. He's coming after us one way or another," he pointed out.

"I told you it wouldn't be a small disturbance . . ."

"Yeah, Canderous felt it," he interrupted nodding his head.

"Of course he did, he was at its center point. That's what I'm trying to say. A series of disturbances that powerful, so close together could cause a great deal of harm." _Not only to you, but every living thing._

"Canderous is fine, Jaden. So is Vandar, so is Dustil, Atton and Visas." She sighed and let her shoulders slump. He lifted her chin, "I'm serious about this, sweetheart."

_That's what I'm afraid of,_ she thought as she looked away. _Stubborn too_, she added, in addition to being smart. He wasn't going to let it go and Jaden knew he would move whatever obstacle he encountered to make this happen.

"Come on," he said gathering her close and laying down, "we still have a few hours before we meet the Sojourn, and I'm still beat."

_How do I stop this? _She asked.

_Child, you must trust him_.

_I do_.

_Do you? He offers options yet you turn a deaf ear. He offers you a haven from your dreams, yet you withhold the truth from him. He selflessly pulled you back from the brink._

_He took those damn steps!_

_He turned away. He felt your heartbreak and turned away. He comforts you now_.

Jaden lay very still and listened as Carth's breathing evened out into sleep. She idly traced her fingers over his heart. They were right, he had turned away but it had taken the fracturing of her soul for him to do it, and now they were asking her to trust him? To blindly do as he asked and let him die?

_You ask me to destroy his compassion. A compassion that could heal the galaxy, offer it hope. _

_If you honor what he stands for, child, then yes. Let go of your guilt, Jaden. Let go of your hurt. Trust him. He can guide you. _

_-----_

Carth heard Visas through his sleep haze. His body protested mightily as he got out of the bunk and went to the door. "Yeah?" He said when it opened.

"We're about an hour out from the Sojourn," Visas told him. He nodded, yawned, and assured her he would be there shortly.

"Jaden," he said closing the door and turning toward her, "We're coming up on the Sojourn."

She scooted to the edge of the bunk and sat up. He looked like hell. The pain evident in every move he made. Jaden apologized again and he absently waved it away.

"Can you heal me?" He asked putting aside all the times that he had stopped her before when he was injured.

"Not without returning . . ."

He held up his hand to stop her, "The others?"

Jaden shook her head, "Not while you're still this strong."

"Kolto tank it is," he said with a small grimace.

"You don't like Kolto," she asked trying to sound normal. She hadn't slept, instead thinking about what a pit she had dug for herself. She was trying to heal him, to make up for the pain _they_ had caused in the past, and she was blundering it up good, not to mention her inability to block out the nightmare.

"The Kolto's fine," he said sitting beside her, "It's the tank part that bothers me. Enclosed spaces," he added with a painful shudder.

Jaden raised a brow at him. "But you live on a star cruiser."

"A very, very big star cruiser," he said with a small smile before leaning over to kiss her.

"And the Ebon Hawk?"

"Every time I've been on this ship I've been so involved in something I haven't had time to think about how small it is."

"Sorry I mentioned it then."

"Well," he said bending down and carefully picking up his boots, "You can help me get dressed to keep my mind off it."

Jaden slowly took the boots from him and saw his grimace as he pulled up one pant leg. She selected the correct boot then leaned over and began to pull it on. It wasn't easy but she managed to tug it on while blocking out his indrawn breaths. She sat down heavily. Carth watched her while he tucked the pant leg into the boot. She was studying her fingers as if she'd never seen them before. He nudged her with his shoulder.

"My nightmare, you and the others were tortured," Carth placed a hand on her back and began rubbing. Her voice was trembling, but she continued. "Visas was raped . . ."

"You don't have to . . ." but she went on.

" . . . And dismembered. Her screams for help scraped along my nerves, but I couldn't help her. Canderous was placed on a machine and torn in two. Dustil," she paused, "He was beaten to death and thrown at my feet. His eyes . . ." Jaden took a short breath, "Atton was electrocuted until he burst into flames."

"And me?" He asked softly, wanting her to stop but knowing that if she didn't finish, it would tear her apart. He could hear the anguish in her soft tone and feel the pain rolling off her.

"You were brought before me in chains, tortured and nearly dead," she whispered, "you pleaded with me for help but I couldn't move. I was shackled and I couldn't move." She wiped under her eyes. "A beast appeared out of the mist and began whipping you," she shuddered, her agitation growing.

"Stop. It was only a nightmare, Jaden. We're all fine," he said softly as he began to rub her neck.

She ignored him and went on with a wavering voice, "You said it was my fault; that I caused this." He pulled her into his arms and guided her head to his shoulder. "You said I took away your life. Morgana, Dustil, Revan. I tried to explain about the darkness, but you wouldn't listen."

"Jaden . . ." He blocked out the other image that came to him, of Morgana beckoning to him in the darkness. _Had his actions triggered her nightmare?_ He pushed the thought aside, knowing if that were the case, he wouldn't be able to live with it.

"No, I have to finish," she said softly. "The beast had my blade, it was going to strike your death blow," she whispered into stillness.

"And you woke up," he said thankful that the telling was over. The way she explained it, he felt he could see the images as she described them. "Sweetheart, you are not responsible for anything that has happened in my life, well, prior to meeting you," he told her with a small smile. Jaden bit her lower lip.

"I'm the light side point in the Force, Carth, so in a way, I am responsible."

"Could you have stopped it?" He asked.

_I don't know._ Jaden shook her head, "But that doesn't absolve me of any blame," she told him standing up and moving away. "I'm just as guilty as the others."

"The others?"

"The Midiclorians," she said looking at him.

"So, let me see if I understand this. You're feeling guilty, which triggered the nightmare, because the Force has screwed with my life," Carth said as his anger began to rise.

"I also invaded your privacy," she said softly, looking down at her feet.

"Through this . . . joining."

Jaden nodded, wondering where Canderous was and if she was going to need him because, when she peeked at him through lowered lashes, Carth was clearly angry.

"Learn anything interesting?" He asked with narrowed eyes.

"I didn't do it to eavesdrop on your thoughts, I only wanted some peace," she told him with a desperate tone. How was she ever going to make him understand?

He studied her for a moment then held out his other boot, "I still need help."

"Carth," she sighed.

"You're amazing, you know that?" he snapped, saw the hurt come into her eyes and tempered his tone. "Did you fire the cannon shot that mortally wounded my wife? Did you start the Mandalorian Wars? Cause Dustil to join the Sith? Cause Revan's original fall to the dark side?"

"Of course I didn't . . ." she said frustrated. He was changing direction so quickly, she wasn't sure she could keep up. How had they gone from her nightmare to what she may or may not have done.

"Then cut the crap, drop the guilt, and help me put my boot on," he told her shaking his head. "Trust me, Jaden, guilt solves nothing. For years I felt guilty because I wasn't on Telos when Saul attacked. I thought if I had been there, I could have stopped it. I could have saved Morgana and Dustil. Nevertheless, I wasn't and I couldn't, so to honor her I go on. I fight the good fight and try to make up time with my son. Surprisingly enough, Revan is the one that showed me that guilt wouldn't solve anything. It didn't bring back Morgana or return Dustil to me any sooner. I've carried enough guilt for both of us. You're not to blame, Jaden." Carth watched as her shoulders sagged. He cocked a brow and wiggled the boot. She took the boot and sighed before attempting to pull it on.

Guilt could be a destructive emotion and he knew it better than anyone did, but he sincerely hoped that what he said would help her. Now, he just needed to believe it himself. Jaden had a good heart, was sincere in her actions and had loads of consideration for others. He didn't want to see that diminished because she felt guilty about events that were out of her control. It was a little like the pot calling the kettle black, but he pushed that thought aside. His guilt rose out of failure where hers seemed to be out of inaction. At least he had tried.

"Ow!" He said sardonically at one particular tug.

"Well, if your feet weren't so fat," she muttered as she straddled his leg. Jaden's shapely backside wriggled invitingly and Carth's aching body suddenly ached for another reason. He fell back on the bed with a groan. Jaden gave him a disgruntled look over her shoulder and he began to laugh as he propped himself on his elbows.

_What was wrong with him_, she thought closing her eyes and huffing. When she looked at him again, his smile was sexy and full of promise. He flared his brows once and Jaden felt her body and her face go hot as she quickly looked away.

"You're . . ."

"A man who wants you desperately," he said sitting up quickly while he hooked one leg around her so she couldn't get away. Carth spun her around, reached a hand up to her neck and pulled her forward for an explosive kiss. Her need to be touch, to know that the world around her was real, overwhelmed any objection that was struggling to rise to the surface. The voice was silken and seductive and offered her solace from the guilt, the fear and the sense of failure that was never far from her soul.

Jaden staggered under the onslaught of sensation that swamped her. The kiss spun out as it sent cascading waves of warmth through her system. She didn't recognize the mewling as her own but it was driving Carth insane. "Jaden," he whispered as he trailed his lips over her chin and neck as his hands tunneled under her shirt to touch her skin. Jaden took the final step forward and sank to her knees so she straddled him. Carth took advantage of the close proximity and yanked the shirt over her head.

"You said you didn't want a quickie," she mumbled, her head falling back as Carth rained kisses over her shoulders while his fingers trailed along her bare skin. He was driving her to the edge of reason with a light touch one moment an intimate caress the next. His eyes were dark with longing and it sent a thrill along her nerves to mingle with the finely honed desire.

"No, I said I didn't want a quickie with HK as an audience." His smile was enticing and whatever defenses she thought she should have, crumbled as she lost herself in his dark eyes.

Jaden tunneled her fingers through his hair and pulled him close for a kiss. "Oh," Jaden breathed, her own smile promising and in that silent moment there was an intertwined connection that formed, deeper and more complex than they both knew was wise.

-----

Carth work to control his breathing and levered himself to his elbows. Jaden, lying across his chest, opened her eyes and smiled at him. "I'll still be wantin' my hours, Onasi," she said lightly.

He grinned at her, "Then I really will need a Kolto tank." When he saw the concern come into her eyes, he kissed her. "I'm fine, Jaden. Trust me, never better." Jaden ran her hand along the side of his face. "And, as much as I hate to move, we'll be dropping out of hyperspace soon."

"Reality intrudes," she whispered before planting a kiss on his lips.

"Not for long," he said as he sat up. Jaden clasped her arms around him, refusing to let him go. "I'm sure I'll need to rest after this latest ordeal."

"Ordeal?" She asked with an oh-really tone.

"Sweetheart, you wore me out on a quickie. I'll needs lots of rest for the hours to come." He gave her a quick kiss, tickled her off, and headed for the shower.

"Are you going to shower with your boots on?" She laughed as she turned to her side to watch him. Her body was still a bit over-sensitive, but she found herself hungering for the energy that still pulsed along her nerves.

"You kidding? I just had amazing sex with these boots on, they are _NEVER_ coming off."

Jaden's smile dimmed considerably when the Ebon Hawk dropped out of hyperspace a few minutes later. "I hate reality," she mumbled as she flung her arm over her eyes.

As it turned out, Carth did need help putting his boots back on. He got them off just fine, but halfway through his quick shower, his passion driven anesthesia drained away with the water. The near scalding shower didn't help either so Carth was left with muttering curses as he dried off then carried his boots and clothes into the other room.

"We dropped out of hyperspace," Jaden said as she watched him enter with his clothes in one hand, his boots in another. His towel, slung low on his hips, was in danger of falling off. _Could be interesting_, she thought with an inward smile.

"Yeah," he acknowledge dropping his bundle on the bed.

"Guess it wasn't that amazing," Jaden said nodding to his boots.

"They were expensive," he explained with his head down as he lifted his bag from the floor and began pulling out a fresh shirt, his last one, he noted, and a clean pair of pants.

Jaden narrowed her eyes. "So that makes me . . . cheap?"

Carth turned his head, looked at her and grinned, "Sweetheart, you're priceless."

Jaden bit back the laugh at the teasing note in his eyes and shook her head. "I'm not helping you put them back on."

"Wouldn't dream of it," he said solemnly. Jaden began to grab the shirt he had just placed on the bunk, but he was quicker and yanked it away. "Wear your own for a change."

"Spoilsport," she mumbled but grabbed her stuff and went in to take her own shower. She had thought about joining Carth, but just lying on the bunk as her body absorbed the energy created by their love making, was just as pleasurable as the act itself.

Carth muttered and cursed his way into his clothes and then accused himself of being a weenie. He had come back from dying, for Force sake, he could handle this. However, he decided a few minutes later, damned if he couldn't. When he entered the bridge, he was carrying his boots.

"Phew, what is that smell!" Atton razed him. Carth bobbed his head and gave him a tight-lipped smile.

Then he reminded him, "I still outrank you, Captain Rand, even if you are a Jedi."

"Jaden needs to heal you," Atton grumped. Leave it to Carth to remind him of his rank. Something had happened in the last few hours between Jaden and Carth, something monumental and he fought to push aside that he knew what it was. Atton envied Carth the happiness that was clear on his face and he knew there was never to be anything between he and Jaden, but that didn't stop the seed of resentment from growing in his heart. He should be happy for her, for both of them, but at the moment, it was hard to muster up any contentment.

"Well, she can't. She'd have to give back what she took, and before you ask, neither can either of you," he said including the absent Visas, then grinned, "I'm too strong in the Force."

Atton rolled his eyes but dropped the subject and helped Carth while he told him he had talked to Kwyn about having a med team standing by for the queen. Carth nodded and suggested they could all use a med-check for that matter.

With his boots on, Carth sat in the co-pilots chair and helped Atton bring the Ebon Hawk into the landing bay on the Sojourn. As they shut down the engines and other systems, Carth noticed they had quite the welcoming committee. In addition to General Lavek and the medical team, Dustil, Tuluk and Bastila also walked into the hanger.

"Frack!" Carth muttered.

"What? You didn't think Tuluk would miss this did you."

"Vandar's onboard."

"Yeah?" Atton said getting up.

"Jaden's balance," he reminded him with a scowl. Why hadn't he thought of this before? _Because you've been a little distracted the last few hours._ Carth felt pleasure roll through him and tamped down on the smile that threaten.

"Crap. Look, he's not here and it is a big ship. We'll find a way to make it work."

"Guess we don't have a choice, at this point. Let's go." When they entered the main hold, the medical team had just arrived and Visas was leading them to the queen.

"I figured this was close enough for you to be on-deck so I'm turning the Sojourn back over to you, Admiral," Kwyn said as he followed the team in and looked around. "Kinda dumpy, isn't it?" Carth raised a brow and his friend let out a sigh. "If you're smart, you'll order me off the Ebon Hawk and leave for parts unknown."

"What's going on?" Canderous asked coming into the main hold dressed in his armor.

"Nice touch with the helmet," Atton told him nodding.

"I am Mandalore, Captain Rand," Canderous answered as Carth rolled his eyes then introduced Kwyn. The men shook hands before Kwyn filled them in.

"Tuluk is waiting to . . . pounce the second you step off the loading ramp. Irudu is demanding to speak to you again. I told him you were on a mission, but it won't be long before he finds out Queen Talia is here," he took a breath, "because the Jedi Council wants to meet with you, Jaden and the others about Onderon; that's why Bastila is here, and . . . to welcome you back so she can thank you for saving her life." Kwyn took a deeper breath and looking at Carth who only allowed a quick look of unease to cross his face.

"And Dustil? What's his excuse?" Atton asked secretly pleased and annoyed that so many people wanted to talk to them. They had a mission to complete and if Carth had any brains, he would order Kwyn off the ship and leave.

"He's here to see Jaden," Carth drawled.

"Who's here to see me?" Jaden asked as she joined them, stopping next to Carth and giving a smile to Kwyn. She was dressed in her own clothes for a change, of black pants, a deep purple shirt with the sleeves pulled up and. . . his spare armless tunic under it.

"My besotted son," he drolled giving up on the hope that he would have any clothes left when this was over.

Jaden thought about teasing him concerning his jealousy, but decided she wasn't quite ready to do that yet. They had started down a new path today, and she didn't want to jeopardize it. Instead, she lightly bumped against him and frowned.

"Hey, beat up here," he told her as he pointed to himself.

"Speaking of which," she replied when the med team came into the room. "How is she?" Jaden was assured the queen would be fine and then she suggested that Visas go with her to the medical center. She could get herself checked out after the hit she took on Iziz. Kwyn's immediate concern about Visas health had Jaden giving him a curious look. As Visas and Lavek left, Carth added that no one was to go near the queen.

"General."

Kwyn looked back at Carth, "Yes, Sir?"

"As far as the rest of the crew, or anyone outside of us, I'm still off-deck," Carth told him and watched as Kwyn's shoulders slumped just a little, but he nodded his agreement before he followed Visas and the medical team.

"Is that wise?" Atton asked.

"I need time," Carth said sparing a quick look at Jaden, "we need time. And maybe this way Tuluk will badger Kwyn enough to slip up on something."

"I hope to hell you know what you're doing," Atton said shaking his head. "Come on Mandalore, time to go terrorize some women and children."

Carth shook his head with a chuckle. "Vandar's onboard. Bastila, Tuluk, the other Jedi; what's this going to do to your balance?" He asked tugging on Jaden's hand to bring her into his arms.

"Well, with the . . . return of some of my power, it should be fine. But, if I get to giddy you can get angry, otherwise I'll have to bunk in with Canderous," she told him seriously.

"And here you did such a nice job of healing him, just so I could kill him," he said sarcastically. Jaden leaned back and grinned at him.

"I'll be fine. Besides, they'll probably come in handy the closer we get to Korriban," she said with a quick kiss. Carth sighed, nodded and then led her toward the ramp.

"Any way to avoid going to Korriban?"

"Sorry, Onasi. The cave must be sealed. Cutting Zared off from dark side energy sources will help defeat him."

Carth didn't respond as they reached the top of the ramp. Dustil and Bastila still waited for them while the door to the hanger closed on Atton and Canderous.

"Damn it!" Jaden swore.

"What?"

"It doesn't look like Dustil needs help with his boots," she teased.

Carth reached down and pinched her ass. She yelped but it was accompanied by laughter. A sound he hadn't heard from her in days; hell, weeks. "Behave," he scolded her but he couldn't stop his own smile. He slung his arm around her neck and led her down the ramp, "Harlot."

"Harlot? I guess that's a step up from cheap," she said putting her arm around his waist. Dustil noticed the smiles on each of their faces and grinned, but Bastila's lips thinned slightly before she forced herself to smile. Jaden hid her own frown thinking, _this was not good._

"What you are is mine," Carth whispered softly before kissing her temple.


	24. Chapter 23

"You were . . . blown up?" The med tech asked.

"Blown off my feet, yes," Jaden told him patiently as she sat on the end of an exam table in the medical center. They had come here directly from the Ebon Hawk, and before Carth was placed in a Kolto tank, he insisted she see one of the technicians. Jaden tried to put it off, but his don't-argue-with-me look had her complying.

"You were shot with a blaster, you said." He asked as he prodded the wound on Jaden's arm. It was nearly healed but she winced for effect anyway.

"Yes."

The med tech muttered about the wound only being a scratch but he cleaned and bandaged it again. When he was done, Jaden pulled her shirt back on and sat quietly while the technician completed his examination. She didn't say anything when he frowned and ran the hand held scanner over her midsection again. "That can't be right," he said scanning her again.

Jaden knew what was so puzzling. She had the exact same injuries as Carth, but while his were causing him pain, hers were actually the reason her arm was nearly healed and she felt no discomfort. Jaden was stronger now and her ability to heal herself greater.

The medical technician stepped back and frowned some more. He looked at the scanner, pushed some buttons and ran the scan again. "I'm going to order time in a K-tank for you. These readings concern me."

"That won't be necessary," she told the young man, "I'm fine." She was getting ready to mind trick him if he was going to press the issue.

"Jaden, are you decent?" Dustil called from the front of the exam room.

"Yeah, back here," she called out and began to get off the table.

"Now hold on, you are not going any place," the tech told her as he stepped in front of her preventing her from leaving the table.

"What's going on?" Dustil asked when he came around the corner.

"She needs to spend time on a Kolto tank," he said trying to be the intimidating one in the staring contest.

Jaden frowned at the tech, "I'm fine."

"You are not fine!" He snapped. "You have the exact same injuries as the Admiral on top of others. You should be comatose from the pain."

Dustil stepped forward and took her hand. The same hand she was about to use for a mind trick. He knew her pretty well. "Jaden is very strong in the Force. She has the ability to heal herself. If she says she's fine, I would believe her," he told the technician. You could see the man was about to argue but instead just shook his head and gathered his things.

"It's your responsibility if she collapses," he said just before leaving.

When he was gone, Dustil turned to Jaden, "Are you fine?"

"Yes, Dustil, I'm fine." She answered with a smile for the young man.

"You're sure. Because he'll only demote the tech. Me? He'll kick my ass."

Jaden smiled at him and nodded. "I'm sure. Your father won't need to kick your ass. How is he by the way?"

Dustil rolled his eyes and snorted.

"Then maybe we should go make faces at him, huh? Cheer him up?" She gave his hand a quick squeeze before heading toward the door. She knew this was her fault so maybe that was why she felt she needed to keep the whole situation lighthearted. Jaden wanted Carth to be fine, but if he was, he would want to do it again and she wasn't sure she could hurt him once more.

-----

Dustil held the door for her to the waiting room. It wasn't that large, with an observation window, a few chairs and a comm console tucked into the corner. Visas, Bastila and Atton were huddled in a corner talking, while through the window, Carth could be seen hanging suspended in a half tank of Kolto. Jaden tried taking a deep breath but began coughing when the urge to laugh nearly overcame here. Bastila was much stronger in the light side than Atton and having them both in the same room was tipping her precious balance. Visas and Dustil were not enough to offset the sense of giddiness galloping through her system. _I can do this,_ she thought as she turned to the young man and blurted out, "Have you heard the one about the Rodian that went into a bar?"

"What?" He asked with a puzzled smile as the door snicked shut behind him.

"A Rodian walks into a cantina and says, 'Give me three pints of Corellian Ale, please.' So, the bartender brings him three pints and the Rodian proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, and then the third until they're gone.

He then orders three more and the bartender says, 'Sir, I know you like them cold, so you can start with one and I'll bring you a fresh one as soon as you're low.'

The Rodian says, 'You don't understand. I have two brothers, one on Nar Shadda and one on Coruscant. We made a vow to each other that every Satura night we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Corellian Ales too and we're drinking together.'

The bartender thinks it's a wonderful tradition and every week he sets up the Rodian's three ales as soon as he enters in the bar. Then one week, the Rodian comes in and orders only two. He drinks them, and then orders two more. The bartender sadly says, 'Knowing your tradition, I'd just like to just say that I'm sorry that one of your brothers died.'

The Rodian replies, 'Oh, my brothers are fine - I just quit drinking.'" Jaden burst into laughter.

"What is wrong with her?" Bastila asked thoroughly confused. The situation wasn't funny to begin with and to tell some horrid joke on top of that. Carth was hanging in a Kolto tank, injured because of Jaden. This was no laughing matter.

"No? Okay, what about this one?" Jaden asked wiping under her eyes. _This isn't good,_ she thought but couldn't stop.

"A guy and his son go into a bar. The son is a miracle of nature and is just a head. The man asks the bartender for two shots. The man takes one shot and gives the other one to his son. The son swallows down the drink and out pops an arm. The man thought, 'Hey this is good.' So, he asks for two more shots. He drinks one and gives the other to his son again, and out pops another arm.

The man then asks for a double and gives it to his son. The son throws it down and suddenly explodes.

The bartender looks over at the man and says, 'Looks like he should have quit while he was ahead.'"

Atton turned away, but not before his tight-lipped snort came through.

"Jaden," Visas said quietly trying to keep a straight face.

"Never knew the Force had a sense of humor, did ya, Basty." _Basty?_ "Okay, how about this one. There once was a captain of a ship, no, no, an admiral," Jaden said excitedly as she bounced up on her toes, thinking she was being clever, "and everyday at a certain time he would lock himself up in his cabin and look inside a mysterious black box. He did this everyday, but he told nobody what was inside the box. Then one day he died, and in his testament, he gave the crew permission to open the box. So they opened the black box. And what they found was a piece of paper: 'Starboard is right, port is left.'"

Jaden could see Atton's shoulders shaking and heard Dustil's groan but instead of stopping, she frantically searched her mind. She was on a roll! It didn't matter that Bastila was looking at her as if she was crazed two headed Rancor. _Stop me!_

"Atton," Visas stated as she started forward.

"No, wait, wait, wait!" Jaden said waving her hands with a huge smile and sparkling eyes, "I've got a riddle for you. Where do kings keep their armies?"

When no one answered her, she repeated the first part to the riddle. Dustil, biting the inside of his lip looked at her. "Okay, I'll bite. Where do kings keep their armies?"

Jaden, grinning like a fool, grabbed his shirt, "Up their sleevies!"

There was dead silence in the room. "I'll get Canderous," Atton said pointing at Jaden then leaving. His bark of laughter could be heard before the door slid shut.

"You do that, Atton! Gotta love that armor," she said with a comical squeak and shudder. "Don't you get cold in that get-up?" Jaden asked as she eyed Bastila critically, then chuckled. "I would think it's not very practical. Well, unless you're going to go dancing." Jaden's full-throated laugh broke through. _Not good,_ she thought, _insulting a member of the Jedi Council,_ she shrugged to herself.

"Excuse me?"

"No, Bastila, you must excuse Jaden. It's her balance," Visas told her as she saw Jaden slump the moment Atton was out of the room.

"Better?" Dustil asked still chuckling. She nodded, going to the window. Carth was suspended to his armpits in the Kolto. At least it wasn't a full emersion and looking as uncomfortable as he was, her own self-anger chased away the last of her giddiness. _Don't quit your day job, girl,_ she thought. At least she hadn't told any Jedi and Sith jokes. Insulting Bastila was bad enough, although she _did_ need a new outfit. This was why she preferred the darkness; the pain it brought kept her from telling horrible jokes.

"I don't understand," Bastila stated her frown still in place as she studied Jaden.

"There were to many that follow the light side in the room," Visas said. "You and Atton tipped her balance. The Admiral's son and I, our neutrality was cancelled."

Bastila scrutinized Jaden for a moment as she watched Carth in the tank. "So Atton leaving . . .?"

"Allows myself and Visas to better counteract your light alignment," Dustil told her. "Jaden are you sure you're all right?" he asked coming up behind her.

"I thought it would be enough," she said slowly before turning from the window. She looked at Dustil and said, "It's not enough."

"What are you talking about?" Bastila demanded. "Enough what?"

"Their joining. Jaden cut it off before enough of her power returned to her."

"What do you mean?" Bastila asked her mind spinning in several different directions, none of them good.

"You know Jaden joined with my father, and as a consequence, some of Jaden's power was transferred back to her," Dustil said as he watched Jaden absently rub her injured arm.

"He asked if I would be strong enough to handle this and I told him I would be okay," Jaden said turning back to the window. Carth was awake and gave her a tired smile. She waggled her fingers half-heartedly. "We should have stuck to the plan, gone to Spira."

"You had no choice, Jaden," Visas told her. "The Admiral needed attention as did the queen."

"You could have left me there, met the ship, gone to Korriban then picked me up."

"Alone and unprotected?"

"I'm not helpless, Dustil," Jaden said with a small smile, turning from the window.

"And you're not . . . yourself, either," he snapped. Jaden raised a brow at his outburst. After a moment, he flopped into a chair. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"No, you're right, I'm not," she sighed turning back to Carth. "Not yet, at least," she added with a whisper.

Bastila watched the exchange and stiffened when Jaden looked at Carth almost wistfully. A sliver of dread snaked down her spine. "What are you saying?" She demanded.

Jaden ignored the spike in her anger, in fact welcomed it as it chased the final overdose of endorphins away. "I'm saying that if this works," she waved her hand in Carth's direction, "I'll honor his request."

"To join with him again to take back your power." Visas asked. Bastila looked at Jaden horrified.

Jaden ignored her and told Visas, "In small doses. If the Kolto tank will heal him enough, then yes."

"The Jedi Council will never allow . . ." Bastila strongly objected as she walked toward Jaden. Dustil jumped up and stood between them.

"It's all right, Dustil," Jaden said touching his shoulder. He gave her a quick look before reluctantly moving aside. "The Council has no say in this. I am not a Jedi and neither is Carth," she said to Bastila. "And I honestly don't give a Rancor's ass what they think," she added. Bastila gasped in outrage and silence followed that declaration.

_Tread softly, Child. _

_Why? They serve at my pleasure. They have no right to dictate to me. _

_That is true, but emotion clouds her judgment and we fear she has not fully learned the lessons of the past. _

_Meaning? _

_She will seek to protect what she values most._

"But he's right," Jaden whispered. When Bastila asked who was right Jaden realized she had spoken that aloud. "Carth, Dustil, Visas. They're all right. I'm not strong enough," she answered facing the fact.

"Jaden . . ." she turned to Dustil, "we can find another way to help you," he said quietly. Jaden shook her head.

"Your father is right, Dustil. He knows I won't let him die and if taking my power back a piece at a time, so that he can heal in between, will prevent that then that's what we do." She kissed his cheek and went into the Kolto lab.

"All right, Onasi," Carth opened his eyes, "We'll try it your way. However, if I'm not satisfied you're healing properly all bets are off."

Carth looked beyond her at Dustil. "Agreed." Jaden walked over to the tank and took his hand. "What changed your mind?" he asked as he laced his fingers with hers.

"Besides insulting a Jedi Master and telling horrid jokes," she said with a weak smile and self-deprecating snort, "It's not enough," she whispered. "I nearly killed you, and it wasn't enough."

"So I should be dead," he said trying for some humor.

Jaden shook her head and gave a small smile, "I have to keep you around until I get my hours, Onasi."

"Then I'll die a happy man," he said sarcastically, giving her hand a squeeze.

Jaden brushed the hair from his brow. "Bastila and Atton nearly undid me," she reluctantly told him.

"Ah, that's why he left."

"He went to find Canderous."

"You're not bunking in with him," he told her with narrowed eyes.

Jaden grinned at him, "Damn."

He sighed and shook his head. "We'll make it work, sweetheart."

"Carth, I'm afraid something's going to happen."

"Is that why Dustil stepped between you and Bastila? Something happened?"

Jaden let go of his hand, went to the chair in the small room, and sat. "She said the Council wouldn't allow you, us, to do the transfers."

"They have no say. I'm not a Jedi and neither are you as you so often point out."

"But you are one of the top Admiral's in the Republic Navy, and . . . she cares a great deal for you," she said with a sigh.

"And I for her. She is my friend after all," he said tipping his head to the right so he could scratch his nose. "She'll honor my wishes."

_I wouldn't be too sure of that._ "And emotions of the heart can overrule what we know to be right. You know that."

Carth sighed and agreed. "I'll talk to her."

_She will protect him. _

_I know. _

_This will not end well. _

_I know. _

"Want to hear a riddle?" She asked stretching out her legs, slumping in the chair and crossing her arms over her chest. She was exhausted and wanted to sleep, but the least she could do was keep him company, since she was the one to put him here.

Jaden left the room when the med techs came to help him from the tank. When she entered the waiting area, Canderous had arrived along with Atton and was catching up with Dustil. Visas left Bastila's side and came to her.

"Is this course of action wise?"

"Probably not, but I suppose it's better than taking at all at once. At least he'll have a chance to heal. Besides, it'll buy some time."

"What do you mean?"

"You know Carth is going to ask Dustil to search the Jedi Archives. If he learned too quickly how to return what I gave him, he would do it."

"So you buy yourself time with him."

Jaden looked at Visas, "It's not anyone's time yet."

"And if she goes to the Council?" Visas asked softly so no one would overhear.

"Not if," Jaden smiled sadly, "when. She cannot stop it." She went and sat next to Dustil. "Is everything okay on Dxun?"

Canderous nodded, "A few patrols. Nothing Kelborn can't handle. I understand I missed the floor show."

"You didn't miss much," Dustil mumbled and earned a poke in the ribs.

"Lavek wants to speak with the Admiral and you, when you're done here."

Jaden sighed and rested her head on Dustil's shoulder. "It was supposed to be simple," she muttered.

"Nothing involving the Force is simple," Canderous snorted. Jaden gave him a prissy look then closed her eyes.

-----

As much as Carth hated the Kolto tank, he was thankful for it, as he got dressed. He still felt a bit stiff, but he got his boots on with no assistance. _Damn_, he thought with an inward smile, as he stood up.

He stopped by the queen's room and learned that she was resting but would be fine. He was told Master Vandar had asked about her and that Master Tuluk also stopped by. That didn't sit well with Carth, so he order two guards to watch over her, with instructions that no one was to see the queen besides the med-tech, himself, Jaden or General Lavek, unless he cleared them first.

When he arrived at the waiting room, it was only Jaden and Dustil who remained. She still leaned against his son, asleep and Dustil gave him a helpless look. "Where is everyone?" He asked softly.

"Atton and Canderous went to eat, Visas to meditate and Bastila went to speak with Vandar."

"And their fearless leader, snoring."

"I don't snore," she said opening her eyes. Carth wasn't about to contradict her, especially in front of his son. "Lavek wants to talk to us," she added sitting up. Dustil sighed and stretched out his arm, shaking it to restore the feeling.

Carth helped her up, "I'm assuming he meant now?"

"Or there abouts," she said stretching her arms above her head and yawning.

"All right. He can meet us in my quarters. You still need to rest."

Jaden nodded, "And that's what I'm going to do," she said with a smile. "No offense Dustil, but your shoulder is awfully bony," Jaden added as she headed toward the door.

"How are you feeling?" Dustil asked when they were alone. His father looked wiped out and it worried him, but he knew if he pointed that out, his father would wave his concern away. It wasn't until this morning, that he could feel his father through the Force, but he wouldn't tell him how relieved he had been. They still had a ways to go before Dustil told his father about their connection.

"Stiff, but much better, the Kolto worked."

"So you're going to do this again."

"Dustil . . ."

"You know Bastila is speaking to Vandar right now to stop this."

"Yeah," Carth sighed. "That's not what concerns me."

"What if she convinces the Council to go to Vice Admiral Dodonna?" Dustil asked as he rubbed his shoulder. _They're not that bony_, he thought with a huff.

"They could go to the Senate and it wouldn't matter. This needs to be done and that's why I need you to search the Jedi Archives," Carth said as he sat down across from his son.

The silence pulsed in the room until Dustil looked at his father, "I know."

Carth supposed he shouldn't be shocked but he was. He was braced for an outburst, not the steady, and somewhat resigned, look in Dustil's eyes.

"Kwyn mentioned you would probably ask me to check on Force Joining."

Carth released the breath he was holding. "I know what I'm asking you is difficult."

"Naw, looking for the means for my father's destruction is my life long ambition," Dustil snapped then jumped from the chair to pace the sterile looking room. Yes, they had problems, but they were working on them and he wasn't ready to let his father go yet.

Carth hung his head as he sat forward, letting his hands fall between his knees. Perversely he felt better at the outburst, but not by much. "She'll never take enough, Dustil."

"You don't know that," he answered.

"You need to set aside your feelings . . ."

"Careful Admiral, you're starting to sound like a Jedi."

"Damn it, Dustil, do you think I like this? You know as well as I do, that Jaden will never take what she needs to defeat the Exile," he exploded as he sat back in the chair. "I have to have an option so I can insure this nightmare will conclude. If it means my end then so be it!" Carth sighed and scrubbed his hands over his face. "There won't be much to life after she's gone anyway."

_Whoa,_ Dustil thought, as he turned his back on his father. Besides his mother, no one had earned that fierce of a statement, not even Revan.

"I need to speak with Kwyn," Carth said quietly as he began to leave. "Dustil, I need you to promise me you'll look into this."

-----

Carth found Kwyn standing outside the door to his quarters. Neither of them spoke as they entered and Kwyn watched Carth go to the sideboard, pour himself a glass of Terellian whisky and down it. "You asked him."

Carth nodded as he refilled his glass and poured one for Kwyn.

"And?"

Carth checked the urge to slam down the decanter. "I hate the Force," he mumbled. "It has fracked with everything I ever cared about; my wife, my son, Jaden."

"It restored your life," Kwyn said softly. He was well aware of his friend's feelings on the Force and even though he could wield it now, nothing had changed.

"So it could frack with it again," Carth snapped before handing the glass to Kwyn and sitting down.

"There's something more," Kwyn stated.

"Other than asking my son to look for a way for his father to kill himself? Screw for the good of the galaxy," Carth took a long swallow. Best friend or not, he wasn't ready to share his feelings for Jaden with anyone.

"I know it's not easy, Carth."

Carth waved his hand and shook his head. He didn't want to talk about it. Hours ago he was as happy as he had ever been, and that's what he wanted to remember, not the chaos that loomed before him. _Yeah,_ he thought, _retirement is looking better and better_. "Just dump the rest on me before I'm too drunk to care."

Kwyn sighed before telling him, "Irudu has gone to the military subcommittee in the Senate. He knows you're onboard and is demanding a hearing for tomorrow. The Vice Admiral would like to speak to you before hand."

"What time?" Carth asked taking another swallow and allowing the spicy liquor to numb the rest of his stiffness away. _What a mess_, he sighed to himself. When Kwyn told him early morning, Carth motioned him to go on.

"The Jedi Council wants to speak with you in the afternoon. They requested Jaden, as well as, Visas and Atton be there."

"Well, Jaden can't address the Council," Carth said into the glass before he tipped it to his lips once more. Kwyn sighed and asked why not. The door to Carth's bedroom opened and Jaden came out looking sleepy and incredibly sexy. Carth felt a zing sail through his system. "The Council wants to speak with you and the others."

Jaden looked at him and then Kwyn, "Sorry," she stated shaking her head.

"They'll want a reason why not," Kwyn sighed knowing the reason wasn't going to go over well. Some on the Council understood, but others were not so understanding.

"It's really rather simple. I don't answer to them," she said, and then added silently, _they answer to me._

Kwyn started to say something but decided against it. He was looking at a united front, and one he wouldn't be able to break. _Good for them,_ he thought. "Master Vandar has asked to speak with you."

"That," she said shaking her finger once with a smile, "I can probably do, but only when we have arrived at Korriban. His presence will help off-set the dark side of the planet."

"I'll let him know."

"What else?" Carth asked tugging on Jaden's hand so she would sit next to him.

"Tuluk wants a shuttle to take Queen Talia to Coruscant."

"No. What else?"

"So far, Dustil hasn't been able to find anything on Tuluk, but he's still looking."

"There's something there," Carth frowned.

"Could we be wrong?" Kwyn asked but reluctantly. He was firmly with Carth thinking that Tuluk had something up his robes, but they were having a difficult time finding it.

Carth shook his head, "No. To many of us picked up on his . . . interest in the queen."

"Perhaps she knows something," Jaden said. "I could speak with her in the morning."

"Until we know, she'll remain under guard," Carth said then filled them in on the orders he had given. "Anything else?"

"Yeah. I haven't eaten yet, so you can feed me while you tell me what the hell really happened in Iziz."

-----

Since Carth hadn't been on the surface of Onderon, he put together a quick meal while Jaden related the events that took place. Kwyn didn't ask too many questions of her or Carth when he recounted his part in the incident.

"So, Admiral Onasi, what are you going to do after your court martial?" Kwyn asked shaking his head and missed Jaden's frown.

"It won't come to that," he said taking a bite.

"Look, hero of the republic and defender of the galaxy aside, Dodonna isn't going to have much of a choice."

Carth rolled his eyes, "I'll deal with it," he looked over at Jaden, "Maybe Telos isn't such a bad idea after all." Jaden gave him a strained smile.

Everything she feared would happen, if Carth got involved, was coming true. He had risked his career to help her and now he was faced with the consequences. This is what he was, a soldier, if he lost that, what else would be sacrificed? She had already taken so much from him in the past, she wasn't sure she could deal with this as well. Jaden wasn't sure he would be able to compartmentalize this the way he had his feelings when his wife died and Dustil went missing. She knew he had already pigeonholed his feelings about Revan. Instead of facing and dealing with them, he had put them away in a dark spot in his soul. All this classifying of his emotions was beginning to leave little room for who he truly was.

"Well, it's been a while since I built anything, but I'm sure I can remember how," Kwyn said as he cut into his meat. When he looked up, both Carth and Jaden were giving him curious looks. "What?" He asked feeling as if he was suddenly under a microscope. Jaden stood quickly, shaking her head as she began clearing the table.

"Jaden," Carth tried grabbing her arm but she shook him off.

"I can't be responsible for the destruction of any more careers."

Carth shot Kwyn an angry look. "Jaden, my second in command," he said sarcastically, "is only showing his support."

Kwyn knew instantly that his off-handed remark had upset her. "That's right; mine and the other 499 souls on board. Jaden," Kwyn said getting up and stepping in her path, "No one is going anywhere. The Sojourn is where we belong it's our home. I didn't mean to upset you, I'm sorry." He told her giving Carth a quick look for assurance he said the right thing. Carth shrugged.

Jaden sighed and gave him a weak smile. "I overreacted. I'm just exhausted."

"You both are," Kwyn said with another hapless look at Carth, "I'll get out of your way so you two can get some sleep." He leaned forward and kissed her cheek.

Carth saw Kwyn to the door and locked it before returning to the small kitchen to find Jaden cleaning up the dishes. He leaned against the counter behind her, crossing his ankles and arms. He could feel the exhaustion pulling at her as she did the mundane task. She was an incredible woman, and she was his for however long he was allowed with her.

He had known his feelings for her were strong, he just didn't realize how strong, or deep, until earlier when he was talking with Dustil. Carth was deeply and frightening in love with Jaden and he would have to let her go. At the thought, his heart squeezed painfully and he closed his eyes.

"Are you all right?"

He opened his eyes and found her leaning on the opposite counter studying him as she worried a towel through her fingers. Carth went to her, lifted her on the counter and moved between her legs. "Perfect," he told her with a smile and a quick kiss. Jaden rested her hands on his hips.

"He's very loyal to you," she whispered as she focused on the spot at the base of his neck.

"It goes both ways."

"And the other 499 souls?"

"The Sojourn is a community unto itself. As such, it's only as strong as its leaders. I've served on ships that were fractured, only coming together when we were under fire. I told myself if I ever got my own command, I would make sure that didn't happen."

"You succeeded," she said still staring at his throat.

"Their loyalty goes beyond me. They are loyal to Kwyn and each other."

"My presence here has come between that. They're . . . he's being forced to make a choice."

Carth lifted her chin so she would look at him. His thoughts exactly, but he wasn't about to tell her that. Kwyn was a grown man and could make his own decisions. "Sweetheart, the only thing you have done is gain 500 souls loyal to you."

"500, huh?" She asked with a slight smile appreciating his attempt to make her feel better.

"504. Can't forget Visas, Atton, Canderous or my besotted son." Carth cradled her face in his hands.

"What about the droids?"

He snorted, "As long as you have a can of oil," he joked.

Jaden smiled as she traced a finger over the stubble on his jaw. "Thanks, Onasi," she said softly seeing herself reflected in his dark eyes.

"You're welcome," he whispered against her lips before he deepened the kiss.

Jaden drew him closer by putting her arms around his neck and allowed herself to drown in the waves of feeling as Carth tugged at her shirt so he could reach her skin. He murmured something that she couldn't quiet catch, as he ran his hands up her back. Jaden reached between them so she could undo his shirt. She squealed and grabbed on to him again when Carth lifted her from the counter. She almost caused him to lose his balance when she locked her legs around him and he stumbled into the opposite counter. "Sorry," she giggled.

"No permanent damage. Get the light," he said as he readjusted her weight. As she leaned over to do as he asked, she lightly scraped her teeth over his earlobe causing him to moan and miss a step letting her slip.

"Do you have me?" She asked with a chuckle as she righted herself and looked at him. His eyes were a smoky haze of passion, which mirrored her own feelings.

"I will, several times over, you keep that up," he cracked.

Jaden gave him a cheeky grin then carefully, so he wouldn't drop her, tugged her shirt over head and dropped it on the couch. A dangerous thrill sailed through her when Carth's eyes darkened even further.

"You are a wicked temptress," he whispered before attacking her neck and trailing kisses along the curve of her shoulder. When they bumped into the wall, Carth took advantage of the temporary prop. She melted against the bulkhead allowing every emotion within her run free. The voice was edgy with desire and she let its power flow through her.

"Tell me what you want, love," he whispered next to her ear.

"Hours, Onasi. I want my hours."


	25. Chapter 24

Jaden and the others sat in a small alcove off the main conference room where Irudu was berating Carth, Kwyn, Bastila and Dustil over the vid screen. Carth and Kwyn just sat there occasionally rolling their eyes. Bastila was trying desperately to get a word in edgewise while Dustil fiddled with a data pad.

"Can you believe this Rancor's ass? 'Unconscionable insurrection'", Atton snorted, "Who talks like that?"

"Pompous senators from Onderon," Canderous replied. Jaden chuckled, her first of the day.

Morning had come all too soon and neither Carth nor Jaden had gotten much sleep. When he said hours, he was dead serious and while she felt loose, limber and more alive than ever, the total of two, off and on, hours sleep was beginning to weigh on her. He tried to be quiet when he got up for his call with Vice Admiral Dodonna, but try as he might, swearing when he ran into the desk in the other room, turned the considerate gesture a bit on its ear. Jaden knew she would have to put her feelings of exhilaration aside and face reality.

Carth was still having his two word - "Yes, Sir" or "No, Sir" - conversation when she left to speak with Queen Talia. He had smiled and winked at her, but his own reality was intruding on him as well and it showed. Jaden hadn't had time to ask him how it went, but based on his sullen mood, she had a pretty good idea. Well, he was sitting here and not in the brig, so that was good thing, right?

Jaden's talk with Talia had yielded very little. She was still heavily sedated and what information Talia did have was no help. She didn't know a Jedi named Tuluk and could think of no reason why Vaklu would do this, outside of just being a power grubbing demagogue. Jaden frowned at that and decided she would be no help.

From the medical bay, she went to the Ebon Hawk to check on repairs and speak with T3. "Just do it," she told the droid when it balked at hacking into the Sojourn's computer system. The droid protested the whole time, but was unable to find any other information on Tuluk then what they knew, in the Republic's database.

"What about the archives?"

"Deet?"

"Yes, the Jedi Archives." T3 went insane at the suggestion. "All right, all right, enough already!" Jaden said with her hands up, "I'll let Dustil handle it." She left the little muttering, trying to figure out why a pile of nuts and bolts cared enough that it would, quite simply, admonish her for sticking her nose where it didn't belong. "I think it's time for a memory wipe," she mumbled as she left the ship.

That had been a little over an hour ago and here she sat listening to the rantings of a senator who had no idea about when to shut-up. Atton grabbed his throat and began rasping, "Can't breathe, he's sucking the air from the galaxy!" Jaden reached over and smacked his gut, but she was smiling.

"Senator Irudu, on behalf of the Jedi Council, I can assure you we have no knowledge of this incident," Bastila finally managed to say.

"Oh please, your denial of any involvement in this situation is laughable. The Jedi and the Republic had full knowledge and their intention was clear. They have aligned themselves with the Mandalorians, an enemy of the Republic I'll remind you, to overthrow General Vaklu!" Irudu slammed his fist on the table. "I demand, Admiral, that you find the Ebon Hawk and its crew so they can be brought to justice!"

Carth tipped his head and looked to the left to find the 'crew' of the Ebon Hawk waving at him. Well, at least Atton and Jaden were waving. Canderous was frowning and Visas was shaking her head. He tipped his chin a little lower to hide his smile.

"Admiral!"

"What?" Carth shot his head up, "I already told you I would keep my eyes open for the Ebon Hawk and that this matter would be investigated."

"Admiral Onasi," the Vice Admiral scolded Carth's tone calmly. "Senator Irudu, you have my assurances that the Republic knew nothing," Irudu scoffed but Dodonna went on, "about this operation and certainly would not have ordered such a mission."

The bickering went on.

"Why does he persist?" Visas asked rubbing her temple.

"So he can storm out and threaten that Onderon will leave the Republic because they and the Jedi are liars," Canderous answered.

"But to what end? Onderon's wildlife is vital to the recovery efforts of the Republic. He must know that the Republic Senate would never allow them to secede," Visas told him.

"Yeah, but breaking a few contracts would certainly stick it to the Republic," Atton interjected with sarcasm.

Jaden, who had been watching Carth, slowly turned her head and grinned at him. "That's it! You are brilliant, Captain Rand."

"I am?" He asked watching Jaden pull up to the table.

Jaden touched the screen in front of her and the monitor came to life. Displayed were a keyboard and a layout of the main conference room. The system was designed so that aides could communicate with the conference attendees simply by typing a message and pressing the key indicating the appropriate chair. The message would then appear on the correct screen. She typed in 'Stop the call' and pressed Carth's 'chair'.

Carth saw the screen flash in front of him and ignored it. She sent the message again. But being front and center, he couldn't very well answer her discretely so he had no choice but ignore her again.

Jaden shot him a frustrated look. 'I think I know what he's doing', she typed and sent.

Casually Carth forward the message to Dustil and when he saw it, he gave his father a curious look. Carth glanced at him, before jumping back into the fray. When his screen flashed again, he frowned.

'What?'

'Raping and pillaging.'

Carth leaned back in the chair and gave the side room a quick stern look.

"We need to disrupt the signal from Coruscant," Jaden said looking at Visas.

"What's going on?" Atton asked in a whisper.

"Visas, can you do it?"

"I don't believe I can from here without revealing our presence."

"Jaden?" Atton asked. Jaden ignored him and pulled out a personal comm-link. "T3, there's an oil bath in it if you can disrupt the signal from Coruscant."

"Dweet doo?"

"The one to the main conference room only."

"Jaden, what the hell are you doing?" Atton whispered harshly.

A few moments later, Irudu's voice cut off mid-rant and there was silence. Carth jumped from his chair. "Kwyn, send a message we lost the signal, but are working on getting it back." He turned to Jaden, "Explain."

"Mandalore doesn't mean anything to Vaklu," Jaden said quickly coming into the room.

"Hey!" Canderous growled.

"Sorry. Look, Vaklu knows the Republic will never let him secede. You really would launch an invasion. But, take away a few key contracts and he could cripple the restoration projects."

"Why would he do that?" Bastila demanded. When Jaden and the others had shown up for the call, she asked Carth if that was wise. After all, they were the reason for this mess to begin with. He absently told her it would be fine. Since it concerned all of them, they had a right to know what was being said.

"To cause unrest," Jaden said stepping closer to Canderous. "Many worlds are counting on the Republic and their restoration efforts. If the Republic can't help them then they would be forced to deal with Vaklu who could demand almost anything as payment."

"Including armies to back his secession plans," Visas added.

"Exactly. The Republic falters and Vaklu emerges as a strong leader who sympathizes with them. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours," Jaden said with a sigh. _Why didn't I see this_?

"And Queen Talia?" Dustil asked from his chair as he watched the group.

"She was scheduled to be executed," Atton said. "If she's dead . . ."

"She can't hinder Vaklu's grand scheme," Canderous offered.

"This is insane!" Bastila said.

"Then Canderous?" Dustil asked ignoring Bastila's outrage.

"Simple revenge for the Mandalorian wars," Carth said giving Canderous a quick look.

"So what do we do?" Kwyn asked.

"You do nothing!" Bastila snapped. "You have no proof of this insane theory."

"Inaction serves no purpose," Jaden snapped and the room fell silent. "Does it?" She added looking at Bastila. The implications of her statement pulsed through the silence. The Jedi's inaction during the Mandalorian War had cost millions of lives, including Carth's wife and only led to a more destructive conflict for the Jedi and the Republic.

"Admiral," Visas said breaking the tension in the room, "We must find the truth. If we are correct, Senator Irudu will not rest until his plan is in action."

"Yeah, and we all wind up with bounties on our head." Atton quipped.

Jaden and Carth exchanged looks then grinned. "You think he . . .." She asked not wanting to say Tuluk's name. They hadn't told Bastila of their suspicions about the Master Jedi, neither wanting to deal with the outburst _that_ would cause. Carth only shrugged. "Could be. The pay is crappy."

"Would you mind cluing the rest of us in?" Atton asked with his hands on his hips.

Jaden gave him an impish grin. "You gonna to get rich being a Jedi?"

Atton snorted, "Why do you think I gamble. Wait a minute. You think he's in this for a bounty?"

"Who? What bounty?" Bastila asked becoming frustrated.

"Twice in one day. There's hope for you yet, Atton." Jaden gave him a smacking kiss on the lips.

"Signal's coming back," Kwyn stated quickly before Bastila could demand to know about whom they were talking.

"What are you going to do?" Visas asked as she began to head toward the small room.

"Try and call his bluff. That will solve one problem," Carth said then silently added; that leaves only Tuluk.

"We need time to investigate. The Council . . ."

"Bastila," Carth sighed, "we don't have that luxury. If Vaklu pulls even one contract, it could be detrimental to the restoration projects."

"And what if . . ."

"I'm wrong." Jaden asked. Bastila shot her a stern look through narrowed eyes. Carth didn't need the Force to feel the animosity toward Jaden coming off Bastila. _Stupid, stupid, stupid,_ he thought. _Why didn't I see this before?_

"Then we come up with something else," Atton quipped.

"I shouldn't need to remind you that caution is the wisest course of action!" Bastila went on.

"Then don't, Princess," Canderous muttered.

Carth pressed on his right temple, "This isn't solving anything," he turned to Dustil. "Send the Vice Admiral a coded message about our suspicions." Dustil nodded. Carth ran his hand over his face. "Let's get this done," he added tiredly.

Jaden went to him and touched his face. "Better?" she whispered. He nodded as the pounding subsided.

"I thought you couldn't heal me."

"Little things I can handle," she said with a small smile. "Watch him closely and use your connection to the Force. You'll know what to do." He gave her hand a quick squeeze then nodded to Kwyn.

"My apologies, Senator. We had a glitch on our end.

A new face had joined the meeting. Carth recognized Jedi Master Lyret from the council although they had never met, so he sat through a rehash of the accusations once again. Irudu found it necessary to berate Lyret when he mentioned it would take time, but the perpetrators would be brought to justice.

Carth hid his smile behind his hand when he saw Dodonna's startled reaction to the communiqué Dustil had sent. She looked at Irudu briefly before looking at Carth, who casually nodded.

A few moments later the word 'Queen?' showed up on Carth's screen. He casually took a stylus from the table, and when Irudu wasn't watching, tossed it into the other room before forwarding the message to Jaden.

'Ordered to be executed - not sure Irudu knew - thinks she's on Coruscant.' came across Carth's screen. He forwarded it to Dustil who sent it on. Dodonna frowned moments later. Irudu must have been paying better attention than Carth thought because he turned to Vice Admiral Dodonna and asked, "Am I keeping you from something," in a condescending sneer.

There was a reason Carth held the utmost respect for his commanding officer. She hadn't risen to the rank of Vice Admiral by being weak or playing the political games. Forn Dodonna gained her rank because she didn't put up with any BS . . . from anyone. "Senator Irudu, the Council and myself have told you, repeatedly, that we will investigate this matter. So, why don't we stop beating a dead Bantha and you tell us what you want."

"For starters, I want that man," he pointed at Carth, "to be severely reprimanded."

"Trust me, Admiral Onasi is already missing a good chunk of his ass. What else?" She asked. Carth winced at the reminder of their earlier conversation. It had taken the better part of an hour to explain what had been going on and his suspicions about Irudu and Master Tuluk. She still wasn't entirely convinced but agreed to let him handle it, for now.

'Can I make it better?' flashed on his screen and Carth had to cough to cover his laugh. He did, however, look at her and wink. From the corner of his eye, Carth saw Atton frown and mouth 'Icky'. He missed Bastila's frown.

"What I want Vice Admiral, is for those responsible to be apprehended and the prisoners returned to Onderon for punishment!"

Carth felt the tension in the room spike. 'He does know', showed up and Carth forwarded it on.

~~ _Use the Force,_ ~~ whispered through his head

"Prisoners? As in more than one?" Carth asked.

Irudu adjusted his shoulders, "No, just that murdering Mandalore."

~~ _Concentrate. Listen for his voice._ ~~ Carth took a deep breath and focused his attention on Irudu. The other voices swirling in his head began to fade. It was odd to be able to recognize other's thoughts and emotions. Visas had never taught him how to do this, and quiet frankly, when he began to hear the voices in his head, he blocked them out. There was boredom, Kwyn or Dustil, or both. Thoughts of conquest, Canderous, hyperspace routes, Atton, concern and emotional fear . . . suddenly Irudu came into focus and there was no doubt he was afraid. Carth could almost taste it, it was so strong. "No," he said slowly, "I don't think so. Who was the other prisoner, Irudu?" He asked.

"This is outrageous!" Irudu stood in a huff, sweat breaking out on his upper lip. "I will not stand for such treatment . . ."

~~ _Calm . . ._ ~~

Carth closed his eyes, _they were about to be exposed, their plans to secede were in danger of falling apart . . . ~~ Truth is what you seek. ~~_

" . . . My government has been mistreated by the Republic and the Jedi Council in this matter and we demand the return of the prisoners taken. They are traitors to the sovereignty of Onderon!"

"Who?" Master Lyret asked as he covertly studied Admiral Onasi. Master Vandar had mentioned in passing that Carth Onasi could use the Force, before he left for the Sojourn and it was quite clear to him, at least, that that was what he was doing. When he tried to reach out himself, he found a wall that nearly slammed him back in his chair.

"Mandalore and Queen Talia! Who else do you think I mean?" Irudu shouted and sweat began to trickle down his temple.

~~ _Well done._ ~~ Carth released his breath and slumped in the chair. He looked over at Jaden who smiled and gave him thumbs up. When he looked back at the screen he noticed Bastila was watching him with a narrowed look.

Irudu, realizing his error started for the door but found his way blocked by two security guards. "What is the meaning of this?" He demanded. "Out of my way!"

"Senator Irudu," Dodonna began, "I believe you know very well what the meaning of this is. Confine him to his quarters."

"On what charges, Vice Admiral?"

"False imprisonment? Torture?"

"Being a Sith," Carth added casually as he flexed his shoulders to release some of the tension.

"What!" Echoed in various voices.

Dodonna held up her hand for silence. "Get him out of here."

Master Lyret was the first to break the silence that had fallen on both rooms. "How did you know he was Sith? I am sitting here and felt nothing from him."

Carth shrugged, "The Sith are known to be on Onderon. That, and he wasn't very diplomatic for a diplomat," he added with a frown. _Probably shouldn't have blurted that out._

"The dark side . . ."

"Grows stronger," Jaden said coming in to the room, "the ability to mask its presence will make detecting it difficult."

"But Admiral Onasi can?" Lyret scoffed, uncomfortable with the fact that what the striking woman said was true.

Jaden went to stand by his chair. "You'd be amazed by what Admiral Onasi can do." Carth reached over and gave her knee a quick clasp.

"And you would be?" Lyret asked.

Jaden tipped her head to the side and gave the older man a patient look. "You surprise me Master Lyret. You know who I am." Lyret had the grace to look chagrinned. Jaden went on, "The Ebon Hawk is my ship." She ignored the curious look from Bastila.

Dodonna, not understanding what had just transpired between the woman and Master Lyret, went on to explain, "The crew of the Ebon Hawk, along with Admiral Onasi, rescued Mandalore and Queen Talia from Vaklu's prison in Iziz." Curious, she thought, she had never seen a Jedi show such deference for another who was an outsider.

"Where is Master Vandar?" Lyret asked politely. More people began to give Jaden odd looks. Atton was pleased as punch she was having that effect on Lyret. _Show those stuffed robes a thing or two_, he thought.

"In his quarters," Bastila explained slowly turning to the vid screen, "there are . . . circumstances that must be observed while Jaden is onboard the Sojourn."

"That's a different discussion. Do you have the files from the prison proving the queen was scheduled to be executed?" Dodonna asked.

"Not exactly," Carth inwardly cringed at his superior officer's raised brow.

"They were uploaded into my T3 unit," Jaden told her, "I'll be sure they are retrieved."

"Very well. Nicely done Admiral. When we spoke this morning I had my doubts but once again you have come through for the Republic."

"Yea poster boy!" Atton mumbled as he played with one of the stylus.

"Thank you, Sir," Carth said glancing at Atton. "I'll get my report and the files," he said looking at Jaden who nodded, "to you shortly."

* * *

When the screen went blank, Kwyn sat back. "We sat through all this . . . fracking crap and you have files?" he asked laughing as he threw his hands up in the air.

"No," Carth chuckled, "she doesn't."

"Sure about that?" Jaden asked innocently.

"Well, let's see. You were shot, under fire and dealing with the queen. Hacking into the Iziz database would take time. I was there, remember?"

Jaden patted his shoulder and said in a patronizing tone, "And you did a fine job relaying the information from T3."

"Gee wiz, teach, thanks!" Carth told her with a snort. "So his super duper sensors picked up the soldiers. That still doesn't tell us how you downloaded the files."

"Ah, geez," Atton uttered before he doubled over in laughter, "Uploaded, Onasi. Way uploaded."

"What are you talking about?" Bastila asked as she gave an uncertain look at Atton who was still chuckling and shaking his head.

"Some pretty amazing Sith technology," Jaden answered as she sat on the arm of Carth's chair. He frowned and let his shoulder slump when it finally came to him.

"His 'special shields'," he said.

"Not only do they protect the Ebon Hawk, but they also protect T3 from catching a . . . virus."

Carth spoke as he scratched his head. "T3 wasn't using the sensors to pick up the soldiers. T3 was hacked into the Iziz database."

"Sith technology?" Bastila asked worriedly as she seemed ready to pounce on Jaden.

"Souvenirs," Jaden shrugged as she leaned an elbow on Carth's shoulder.

"But couldn't Zared use that same technology against us?" Dustil asked as he watched the others. Jaden folded her arms across her chest and looked at Atton with a smug smile.

Jaden said he would one day understand why T3 and the Ebon Hawk were tied together and it looked like that day was here. "Not as long as you don't turn the little trash compactor off," he answered with a sheepish look.

"But T3 cannot connect to the whole Republic network," Bastila snapped as she shifted in the chair. This was getting out of control. Jaden just admitted she had Sith technology and no one seemed to be upset about it.

"No, but he can connect to the Sojourn when it's damaged so that when the ship connects to the network on Coruscant . . ." Jaden trailed off recognizing the look in Bastila's eyes.

"Sweetheart . . ." Carth sighed and looked up at her.

Jaden pursed her lips together, "It's a simple patch, Onasi."

"And now she has access to the Republic database. The Sith could have access for all we know!" Bastila said standing up, her hand near her saber.

Jaden snapped her head around and looked at the insulting woman, "I don't need a computer database to know what the hell is going on in the galaxy."

Carth closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "That's enough. Both of you."

The two women stared at each other for several moments oblivious to the fact that Atton and Visas came to stand beside Jaden. "I'll be on the Ebon Hawk," she said backing down.

"We'll come with you," Visas said.

"Yeah, I can check with Mira about recent bounties."

* * *

Carth had called her 'sweetheart' with such affectionate resignation; her heart had twisted. Just as Bastila's heart twisted yesterday when Carth and Jaden exited the ship with their arms around each other, looking like they didn't have a care in the world.

Bastila was the one who stood by him when Revan left and again when Jaden had abandoned him a year ago only to return with some foolish story about being the light side point in the galaxy and that the Exile was now leading the True Sith. She claimed to be a Force Embodier and that the Valley of the Jedi was home. Both were a legend, nothing more. Vandar and Lyret were acting as if Jaden were the Force itself. Bastila didn't doubt that Jaden needed to be balanced. She had heard about what Carth had done to her when he found out Revan was dead. Jaden had killed Revan, but she hadn't stuck around long enough for the Jedi to investigate.

Giving Carth the ability to use the Force, disappearing for a year, her attitude toward the Jedi and having access to Sith technology. Bastila was beginning to believe Master Tuluk. Jaden had to have done something to Carth, Dustil and the others to make them believe she was anything but a Sith. Carth was vulnerable and Bastila was afraid Jaden was using him; using all of them.

"You've been a dear friend, Bastila, but you're moving closer to a line . . ." He trailed off. "Insulting Jaden does nothing to help the situation," Carth said quietly from his chair at the head of the table.

"I am trying to save the Republic from this newest threat. A threat that seems to have grown stronger since Jaden's return," she told him.

Carth's shoulders tensed. "A threat that compelled Revan to leave eight years ago," he said softly. "A threat that the Exile also felt compelled to face."

"And he returns a Sith Lord to once again wreak havoc with the Republic!"

"He's after the Valley of the Jedi," he spit out trying to control the venom behind his tone.

"It's a legend!" She snapped. "A child's tale, yet you believe it. You believe what she tells you."

"I've no reason to doubt her. Why do you?" He asked.

_Because I love you, _she thought, _I don't want to lose you._ "Because I believe she has her own agenda. Revan returned to warn you, but Jaden murdered her before she could tell you about it. She mysteriously bonds with you, giving you the ability to use the Force. Then she disappears only to return with Sith technology! Now, she claims, that you inadvertently returned her power through a link. And wants to do it again? She's draining your life, Carth and that is a dark side power." Bastila said passionately as she came to his side. "You cannot allow this to go on any longer. Jaden is a threat to you, to all of us, and to the Republic. Please Carth, you must send her away or lock her up. Let the Jedi Council deal with her." Bastila took his hand and went down on one knee. "I don't want to see you hurt," she whispered.

Bastila's emotions shone clearly in her eyes as Carth studied her. _How could I have been so blind,_ he thought.

~~ _Man clings to what he sees as comfort in times of turmoil; family, routine, friends are there as anchors. Because of this, often man does not see how changes in emotions can happen when he repeatedly turns to that comfort, to that anchor out of habit. _~~

~~ _Or he refuses to because it would only cause more turmoil. _~~

~~ _A wise assessment_. ~~

~~ _The reason the Jedi frown on emotional attachment. Turmoil can lead to the dark side. Will she fall again?_ ~~ He asked knowing how easy it could be to take a couple of steps toward darkness to get what you wanted most.

~~ _You must tell her the truth. _~~

~~ _Will she? _~~ Carth demanded silently.

~~ _Tell her the truth_. ~~

Carth let go of Bastila's hand and stood. He walked to the window before he spoke. "Revan didn't return to warn me about any threat. She returned to manipulate me into helping her find the Valley of the Jedi for the Exile."

"Carth . . ."

"Jaden did kill Revan, but only after Jaden revealed that she knew about their plan. Revan attacked her and Jaden . . . defended herself," he said remembering the holovid.

"What are you talking about?"

"What else was there?" He asked with a sigh. "Yeah, there is no bond, at least not through the Force. Jaden restored my life by giving me part of her power. She left, partly because I hurt her, but mostly to stop the Exile from coming after me in case he thought I had killed Revan."

"Carth . . ."

"I imagine she picked up the Sith technology when she joined the Sith."

Bastila hurried over to him and took his arm. Her eyes were wild with fear. "Do you even know what you're saying? By the Force, what has she done to you?"

Carth looked over into her dark violet eyes. They were filled with concern and fear and he felt a pang of guilt for never realizing the depth of her feelings for him. "She's protected me. She's given me a second chance at life."

"You just admitted she is a Sith!" Bastila went over to the comm unit but found her wrist in a strong grip.

"Revan's plan had killed me. I wasn't critically injured I was dead! Jaden was there to protect me from Revan," he snapped as he shoved her arm away from the unit.

"What are you talking about?" She asked rubbing her wrist. Bastila hadn't seen Carth this angry since he found out about Revan and it frightened her.

"All the scheming and lies of the Jedi Council to find the Star Forge were for nothing, Bastila. Darth Revan was never redeemed. She was a Sith all along. She only went after Malak for revenge for daring to betray her," he told her through clenched teeth.

"I don't believe you. I was bonded to her. I would have known!"

"You fell to the dark side!" He shouted in her face. Bastila shook her head in horrified denial but Carth wasn't done. "Jaden knew all about their plan because she was in the room with them on the Sith home world. She had been sent by the Midiclorians to find out what _she_ could about the threat to the galaxy. They had it all, Bastila. Military strength, tactics, Jedi numbers. They were looking for the Valley of the Jedi."

Bastila shook her head in disbelief as she wrapped her arms around her middle.

"Jaden knew the Exile would learn of Revan's death and assume it was me. Since he was coming for her anyway, she needed to hide. Jaden needed time to locate the keys to the Valley, find a way to slow the Exile down, so she gave me some of her power. Jaden restored my life, but in doing so, she has weakened her ability to face the Exile. If Force Joining gives her back what she needs to keep the galaxy from plunging into darkness, don't doubt that I won't do it," he told her with such anger and bitterness.

"How do you know she isn't lying to you about Revan, about the Sith?" Bastila asked desperately.

Carth sighed some of his tension away. "You just don't give up, do you," he stated.

"Not when someone I care about is in danger," she snapped. This was not going the way she wanted it to. Carth refused to see that he was being manipulated.

"I saw it Bastila and I relived Revan's attack on Jaden."

"I don't doubt that Jaden is powerful, but it was a mind trick, Carth, nothing more."

Carth grabbed the collar of his shirt and yanked it over his head. "Are these scars from Force Lightning a mind trick?" He asked thumping his chest. Bastila cringed away from the spidery welts that still looked red and angry across his chest. "It's hard to mind trick an assassination order for my son. Jaden gave Zared one of the keys so he wouldn't go after Dustil or the Sojourn."

"I'll admit it's an elaborate plot . . ."

Carth growled his frustration as he pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. "You're letting your feelings for me cloud your judgment."

"I could say the same to you," Bastila yelled while willing back her tears. She was dying a quiet death in that conference room.

Carth studied her for a moment then shook his head sadly. "We're done here," he said as he pulled the shirt over his head and picked up his jacket to leave.

"Carth, please!" She pleaded.

He paused, ignoring her tone. "I won't discuss this any further. You're . . . standing on that line."


	26. Chapter 25

Needing something to do with her hands, Jaden began taking apart a perfectly good piece of equipment in the main hold of the Ebon Hawk. Everyone knew what was going on in the main conference room; Carth and Bastila were having it out about her, which only added another layer of guilt to top off the rest. She reached out once, to find Carth, but the pain suddenly assaulting her was acute and Jaden quickly reconstructed her barrier. His anger wasn't with her, but in a way, she wished it were; that might make this horrid situation a little better. She was coming between two friends who had shared so much in a relatively short time span.

"Well," Atton said coming from the bridge with Canderous in tow, "I spoke with Mira. She's going to do some checking about new bounties."

"Kelborn also said he had some contacts in Iziz he could trust."

Jaden nodded and went back to fiddling with the equipment. _Why was this taking so long?_

"Do you really think Tuluk is after the queen for a bounty?" Atton asked watching the quiet Jaden who shrugged. He and Canderous exchanged looks. "She's too old for me, but I think Tuluk just wants to get her alone. You know, a little Kowakian monkey sex," he added.

"Make her his sex slave," Canderous put in, which was out of character for the stern Mandalorian, but spoke volumes about Jaden's state of mind, and the level of his concern. He still hadn't decided what side to choose, but that didn't mean he couldn't be worried about the woman that had saved him.

"You said it yourself, Jedi don't get paid much," Jaden mumbled as she continued to disembowel the hapless equipment. "We should check on debts he may have."

"She didn't hear a word," Atton said shaking his head.

"Not a good trait in a commanding officer."

Jaden sighed and looked up. "Kowakian monkey sex slave. I heard you."

"Have you tired to reach him?" Canderous asked as he sat in one of chairs near the center console. Jaden had made some modifications to the Hawk and the rows of seats he always managed to trip over before were gone.

"Yes. He's very, very angry."

And the time dragged on. Canderous and Atton bickered over who was the better pilot, which was a short argument considering Canderous could tick off each time in the past Atton had crashed and in the Ebon Hawk no less. Next, they discussed the pros and cons of Pazaak. Another argument Canderous won when he asked Atton why he wasn't a professional gambler. Atton's response of, "Because I'm a Jedi," had Canderous chuckling.

Jaden wasn't sure how Canderous was going to react when Atton asked him about the first time he was on the Ebon Hawk with Revan, but the Mandalorian shared a few funny stories about Jolee Bindo and how Mission would kid Carth about being an 'old man' when he would call her a 'kid'. Canderous also expounded on the hideous orange jacket Carth use to wear; not a good color on the Admiral. Even Revan had commented on it.

"He still has it," Jaden told them absently as she began to pile the parts into a neat stack.

"Then his taste in uniforms has improved," Atton quipped, "Although the first time I met him, that jumpsuit he was wearing, probably wasn't much better."

Jaden chuckled, "So has yours, mister ribbed-jacket-fashion-plate." Atton gave her a narrow look. "Look, you don't need to stay," she said. "There is a cantina on-board, even a Pazaak den."

Atton shuddered, "And hang out with a bunch of officers?"

Jaden looked at both men and felt very luck, but their hovering was starting to get on her nerves. "I'll be fine. He probably won't come here. He knows his anger would hurt me."

"True, but you don't know what she's telling him either," Canderous said.

"Please," Atton snorted, "You know damn well she is trying to turn Carth against Jaden," he said. "Shutta!"

"Atton!" Jaden scolded him although if she was honest, she was thinking the same thing. Not very charitable, but there it was. Bastila was one of hers, but she was finding difficult to defend the Master Jedi.

"Bastila wants into his uniform and you're standing in the way."

Jaden ignored his comment and said instead, "She's doing what she feels is necessary to protect him. She's a Jedi Master, getting into his uniform is the last thing on her mind." _When did I learn to lie so well?_ Why had she missed the woman's feeling for Carth all these years? _Because you've been focused on the voice, it has consumed you almost to the point of obsession._

"You're defending her!" Atton's tone was surprised and loud, his outrage clearly evident.

"I'm stating a fact. What would you like me to do?"

"Fight."

Jaden gave him a brief look and shook her head. "This is his fight, Atton," she said quietly feeling at a loss of how to fix this. _What else have I missed over the years?_

"Damn it, Jaden!"

"Atton is correct," Canderous told her. "Carth has had many things thrown at him over the past few weeks. He's a soldier, so he's capable of dealing with them. Bastila, however, can cause a great deal of trouble for him as well as for you."

"I know," she sighed with resignation.

"And for the rest of us," Atton added looking at Canderous. "I've seen the inside of enough force cages that I don't want to see another one. Do you wanna go back to prison?"

"Then what would you have me do?" Jaden asked, unable to hold back her fear any longer. She _was_ terrified that Bastila would be able to convince Carth that Jaden wasn't what she was telling them, afraid that she would convince him to involve the Jedi Council. Deathly afraid that she would have to kill Carth to get her power to set this whole hellish situation to rights. Moreover, it was that fear that caused her to lash out when Atton nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders. Jaden jumped from the counter and threw the casing at the opposite wall, her eyes flashing.

"What should I do, Atton?" He stood frozen. "Should I perform a mind wipe? Poof, Carth Onasi no longer exists for Bastila. Wipe out her feelings, her thoughts? We all know how well that worked for Revan.

"Maybe I should make her believe she's cut off from the Force," Jaden slapped her forehead, "I know, I could send her to the other side of the galaxy to wander around until she forgot her feelings for him. But wait, that didn't work on the Exile, that's why we're in this . . . fracking mess!" She snapped as she paced the main hold agitated. She spun on Atton. "So what should I do, Captain Rand? Erase her memories? Send her into exile? If at first "I" don't succeed try, try again?

"Haven't I screwed with his life enough? Haven't I done enough damage to all of you that you would willingly want me to do more?" She asked looking in Atton's eyes.

Her look was tormented and he could feel the pain and fear rolling off her in waves and for the first time Atton didn't know what to do. Wisecracks wouldn't fix this. Jaden truly carried the weight of the galaxy within her and it was crushing. Watching her, he found himself in a fast-forward tableau, seeing lives rush pass. The good, the bad, the light and the dark aspect of life in the galaxy mingled with the beautiful and the ugly. As he watched, he witnessed past wars, current conflicts and those yet to come. He didn't miss that the images were dark around the edges or the underlying fear snaking its way through all that the Force touched. In a flash, it was gone, and he was looking in Jaden's green eyes, swimming with tears. He blinked rapidly, doubting what he had seen and his own sanity, but his breathing was labored and heaviness pressed against his chest.

"Maybe Kreia was right," she whispered appalled she had allowed Atton to see what she carried within her.

Atton shook his head, "No, Jaden, she wasn't," he whispered shaken to his core.

"That old witch wanted the death of the Force," Canderous said unable to see Atton's face. If he had, he would have seen a bleak existence reflected in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," Atton said softly still struggling to set aside the images. "You don't deserve to hurt."

Jaden stepped away from him and swiped at her eyes. "As much as we want to, we can't prevent that from happening. No matter how much we want to fight."

-----

They heard his boots on the ramp and Jaden quickly pulled herself together. She was retrieving the thrown casing, when Carth entered the main hold. The depth of his misery caused Jaden to waver.

"If you're still angry . . ." Atton said catching her arm, hesitant to touch her because he was afraid of what he might see.

Carth shook his head. "I'm not angry."

Jaden reassured Atton with a simple smile, "I'll be fine."

Atton studied her a moment then asked, "Well, how did it go? Are you here to arrest us?" Carth didn't answer as he went to the pile of parts Jaden had created from the equipment she dismantled. Jaden rolled her eyes at Atton.

"You two should find Visas and get ready for your meeting with the council."

"Where do you want to meet?" Canderous asked. Jaden shook her head.

"I won't be going."

Atton raised his brows and before he could ask why not, Carth looked up and told them, "She doesn't answer to the Jedi Council," he looked at Jaden, "And neither do I." Those four words had relief flooding through her system.

"Thanks for throwing the peasants into the Rancor's nest," Atton drolled as he headed toward the ramp."

"Atton, you'll want to brace yourselves, but don't . . . look like you're bracing yourselves," Carth told him waving his hand. Jaden raised a brow at his statement.

With the others gone, she watched the silent Carth as he poked through the pile of parts she'd created. When he had satisfied his curiosity, he walked over to her. Jaden still held the casing in her hand. Carth trailed his fingers over the back of her hands, causing a spike of longing to zip through her, as took the casing. "Does T3 know you're dismantling the ship?"

Jaden hung her head in embarrassment, but smiled slightly and shook her head. Carth chuckled and returned to the pile of parts to begin reassembling them. "Micro-spanner?" He asked.

She took advantage of the moment and escaped to the garage to search for the tool. Her body still throbbed from his brief touch, but that didn't surprise her. Last night she had experienced so many emotions and sensations, she was still trying to sort through them and wasn't ready to let them go. They had sustained her throughout the exhausting morning and were deflecting some of the sadness she could feel coming from Carth.

She found the spanner and returned to the main hold. Carth was still putting some of the parts together and turned, giving her a faint smile. As she approached, she could feel his misery poking like a dull stick. "Are you going to tell me?"

"No," he said simply. Jaden raised a brow at his turned back. "What time are the others meeting with the council?"

"In about an hour."

"That's when we'll do the next transfer. They'll be tied up and won't be able to stop it."

"About that . . .I think it would be wise to wait another day." Carth turned to her a hint of accusation in his eyes. Jaden let her shoulders sag. "Yesterday, you spent time in a Kolto tank from the last joining."

"I'm healed," he said watching her. _She promised_, he thought not really surprised she was changing her mind.

"I know. Neither one of us got much sleep last night . . ." she said then paused when a brow went up. Jaden sighed and tamped down on her fear. "I can't stand hurting you," she whispered.

Carth came to her and pulled her close, resting his chin on her head at she buried it next to his neck. "If we don't try this again, and do it now, the council, the Republic, could stop this." Jaden held him closer. "Sweetheart, we have to do it."

"I won't let you die," she said into his neck as she reached for the voice; sorrow aside, she needed its comfort.

"I have no intention of dying. I didn't get near enough time with you last night," he said as he raised her head from his shoulder and kissed her. Jaden allowed herself to sink into the kiss. "I trust you, Jaden."

_Wow,_ she thought. Over the years, Carth rarely said those three words to anyone. The fact that he said them to her was overwhelming. Although it meant a lot, at the same time it made her wince. If he knew what she was responsible for . . . "Alright," she whispered, struggling with not wanting to hurt him and knowing she must.

They worked in silence while they completed the repairs to the part she massacred. When they finished, they headed toward to the medical center, their fingers intertwined.

-----

Atton sat in the officer's cantina with Visas and Canderous. No one had spoken since sitting down thirty minutes ago. They still had twenty minutes until they needed to leave, and the slow ticking chronometer on the wall made Atton anxious. Each slow second that pulsed by made him feel one step closer to . . . ah, hell, he didn't know. This wasn't the first time going in front of the Jedi Council. After the Exile had left him and the others on Malachor V to die, the Republic, once they rescued them, had taken them to Coruscant and Atton and the others had spent days with the Council. They'd been found innocent, whatever that meant, and offered a chance for real Jedi training. Visas declined and returned to the Miraluka system, but the others took advantage of the offering and were welcomed into the order. Hanharr left to wander the outer rim systems enforcing for the Exchange. The Handmaiden stayed at the Jedi academy on Coruscant to train the young padawans in Echani fighting techniques as she helped the historians in the archives. Bao Dur had died in the initial crash and GO-TO had disappeared to who knows where. Canderous had returned to Dxun to continue to reunite the Mandalorian clans until Vaklu got a hold of him.

"Am I the only one that feels like everything I've worked for, for the last two years, is about to bite me in the ass?" Atton asked to no one in particular. The images he had seen reflected in Jaden still flashed through his mind making him uneasy. _The future is always in motion,_ he told himself silently hoping the destruction he witnessed wouldn't come true. _A planet destroyed by a . . . space station?_

"They are only seeking information," Visas said.

Canderous snorted. "They're going to want to know everything about her. Then they'll use that knowledge against her," he said.

"Why? For what purpose?" She asked. "They see the threat the Exile poses. Vandar, Lyret and others recognize what she is and her importance."

"We know at least one of them want to protect Admiral Onasi," he answered.

"None of us wants to see him hurt."

"But we," Atton chimed in, "understand the cost better than Bastila does. She's letting her emotions, her passions dictate her actions."

Canderous gave him a surprised look. "That sounded very Master Jedi-ish."

Atton moaned. "It did, didn't it," he said with a shudder. Another vision flashed in his mind and he ruthlessly pushed it aside.

"I believe this meeting will not be as bad as you think," Visas said wondering why Atton always downplayed his connection to the Force with wisecracks and derision. He was one of the finest Jedi she knew, she admired him for what he had become after overcoming his brief brush with the dark side. Knowing Atton was ashamed of what he had done; killing the woman, he professed to love, because she had shown him his connection to the Force, had caused him to walk away from the Jedi Civil War and it wasn't until Zared found him on Peragus that the galaxy knew Atton Rand even existed.

"What did Carth say before we left the Ebon Hawk? To brace ourselves," Canderous said quietly as a group of soldiers walked past.

"Meaning?" Visas asked worriedly. "They are not going to try joining again so soon, are they? I don't believe the Admiral is strong enough."

"Strong or not, he was rather adamant." Canderous told her as he took a swig of his Tarisian Ale.

"This is going to be a disaster," Atton mumbled as he sat picked up his glass.

"Look, I know what I'll do, I owe Jaden. Question is, are you two ready to go rogue?" Canderous asked with a quiet, deadly voice.

Atton and Visas exchanged glances, "Aren't we now?" She said quietly.

Dustil walked into the cantina, looking like he lost his best friend. The Council had grilled him about Jaden. They knew he had investigated the legend and what, if anything was true or not. Vandar, Lyret and a few others believed him, but Bastila and Tuluk had come up with plausible explanations or questions he didn't have the answers for, and now his father had asked him to research Force Joining. _Frack,_ he thought as he plopped down into the empty chair at their table in the back.

"So, do they have their implements of Jedi torture all ready?" Atton quipped as he pushed away his own ale and sat back heavily. Dustil rolled his eyes and sighed.

"What is it, Dustil?" Visas asked touching his hand.

"I think Bastila has convinced some of the council members that Jaden is . . . Sith. Tuluk is on her side."

"That surprises you?" Atton scoffed.

"Do you know where your father and Jaden are now?" Visas asked giving Atton a stern look.

Dustil nodded, "On their way to the medical center. HK is with them."

"Well, they've covered their bases. Time for us to go into action," Canderous said.

"What are you going to do?" Dustil asked worried.

"Stall," Atton said then drained his glass.

The trip to the small council chambers on the Sojourn was a quiet one. Dustil opened the door and let the others go ahead of him.

"Dustil, where is your father?" Bastila asked in a kind voice that scraped across his nerves. He knew of her feelings for his father, and it never bothered him before when she would come around when Carth was on Coruscant. Now, however, she was trying to come between his father and Jaden and that pissed him off.

"He was needed on the bridge. He asked me to tell you to go ahead and start and he'll be here shortly."

Bastila looked like she was ready to call him on the lie, but she nodded and told him he could go. Dustil didn't release his breath until he was on the turbo-lift, headed for the medical center.


	27. Chapter 26

HK stood guard outside the private room Carth had commandeered for their use. It was more like a room you would find at an inn than one in a medical facility. There were warm colors on the walls, a comfortable looking bed, a desk, small sofa, chair and a couple of plants. Jaden wandered the room as she watched Carth strip down to nothing and put on a pair of lightweight drawstring pants, in anticipation of his time in the Kolto tank. Finely honed body aside, she inwardly cringed at the new scars mingling with the old. She felt the hardened ridged areas last night as she traced her fingers over his body, yet it never occurred to her how many physical reminders he carried in addition to the emotional scars. "Are you ready?"

He tossed his clothes willy-nilly on the sofa, "Yeah," he answered distractedly. Jaden went to him and lightly ran her hand up his bare back. Carth took a deep breath and released it slowly. He moved his arm around Jaden and pulled her close, kissing her forehead.

"You need to be focused."

"I know. I am."

Jaden lifted her head from his shoulder and cocked an eyebrow at him. Carth tunneled his fingers into the hair at her neck and kissed her deeply. "Totally focused."

She wasn't entirely convinced. Misery still poked at her, but she had agreed to this so she would continue. Stepping away, she indicated he should sit in the oversized chair. He stretched once as he made himself comfortable and smiled at her. "Let's do it."

Jaden closed her eyes and whispered the words that would bring him into her world, _"Vita vis vitea."_

_-----_

Carth closed his eyes and turned his head away from the brilliant flash of light and sound assaulting his senses. More than just a loud roar, he cringed against the volume of laughter, agony, hate and the words of love as they pulsed within him, breathing, providing the integral parts necessary for life.

_Focus. Listen for our voice._

Carth flashed back to the Ebon Hawk when Jaden had fallen and he had gone after her. He stiffened against the memory, the terrible images he had seen and the cruel joke played on him using Morgana.

_Calm. You are safe._

Taking a deep breath, he concentrated on Jaden, seeing her in his mind and listening for her voice. The noise around him gradually faded and he slowly opened one eye to find himself standing in the . . . light. There was no other way to describe it. As far as the eye could see, there was light and nothing else. "Great going Onasi," he mumbled, "You're dead."

"Not exactly."

Carth turned around to find Jaden walking toward him, more beautiful than he thought possible. She was wearing a gown of the purest white that clung to her body, hugging her curves and flowing to her ankles where it moved and eddied with elegance, making it appear she was gliding as she came near. Her mantle, held in place by crystals, shimmered silver in the brilliant light. Her hair fluttered as if touched by a breeze and her green eyes were deep and clear. She was radiant.

"Thank you. You're looking rather handsome yourself," she said when she reached him and brushed his hair from his brow. It fell right back, as it always did.

Carth looked down to hide his embarrassment. He hadn't realized he had spoken his thoughts aloud and found he was dressed in white, from the boots up to the loose fitting shirt. "Where are we?"

"Where do you want to be?"

_Home,_ came unbidden to his mind. He heard her whisper words he didn't recognize and the white flashed away to reveal them standing on a beach. He turned around and saw the high verdant cliffs, reaching for a sky so blue it hurt his eyes. In the distance, spires of a city could be seen on the horizon. Carth recognized this place. This was where he would bring Morgana and Dustil for a few days, just as his father had brought him and his mom. He and Dustil would play on the beach, building castles or starships of sand as his son demanded to hear about his fathers adventures. At night, he and Morgana would walk the beach in the moonlight talking of nothing or just not talking at all, simply being. He turned back to Jaden.

"Telos," he said with a fond smile.

Jaden nodded slowly, "In one possible future."

"Future? So the restoration efforts are successful," he said as his smile grew.

"In _this_ possible future."

"And others?"

"The future is always in motion. This is the best scenario," she told him softly as she watched his eyes light up with success. His home, returned to its former glory. Jaden saw no reason to tell him this future was several hundred years in the making.

"Then it's something to work for," he stated looking pleased. His home, restored. Would he live long enough to see it? "Is it possible to go back?" Telos disappeared and Carth found himself once again in the light. "I meant to the past," he said. A ripple of emotion stirred around him but he barely noticed.

"What's done is done," Jaden said quietly and turned away from him. Carth gave her back a questioning look. _What was that about?_

"True," he said nodding. "We can't undo what's been done." He tipped his head to the side, "What has been done?"

Jaden looked at him over her shoulder and gave him a brief smile. "We are one."

"I don't remember this from the last time."

Jaden smiled at him and began walking. "You were asleep the last time. Your subconscious mind heard me. This time, since you're awake, you are aware of what is happening."

Carth fell into step beside her. "I think I prefer this way, it doesn't hurt as much.

"I cannot spare you pain," she whispered sadly. Carth didn't miss the aching ripple this time when it swirled around him. He reached out and took her arm.

"Jaden?"

She gave him a sad smile. "I wanted to share this with you. This is what I am."

"The light," he said as he lightly traced her jaw.

"Yes," she said. _But, just as easily the dark,_ Jaden added silently. "Unfortunately returning my power will still cause you harm."

Carth gave her a wincing smile. "How much time do we have?"

Jaden waved her hand and what appeared to be a small window opened, showing Atton, Visas and Canderous leaving the cantina with Dustil. "A few more minutes."

He nodded, "You showed me Telos. Show me where your favorite place is."

Jaden thought, _here with you,_ but the white vanished and Carth found himself standing in a vast meadow beside a stream flowing to a crystalline clear lake flanked by snow capped peaks rising thousands of meters in the air, their rugged sides covered in trees. A warm gentle breeze sent the verdant grass waving, coaxing the multitude of wildflowers to release their fragrant scent. He felt an incredible sense of peace flow over him as he took a deep breath.

"Is this the Valley of the Jedi?" He asked watching as she sat on a rock next to the stream and tested the water with one bare foot. After hitching up the hem of her gown, she dangled both feet in the cool water, tucked a loose stand of hair behind her ear, and looked out over the breathtaking landscape.

"This is Naboo," she pointed off to the west, "The village where I was born is over there."

"It's incredible. Beautiful."

"Naboo is part of the Republic. You've never been here?"

"No," he answered sitting beside her. "The Republic is a big place."

_Not so big, _she thought, _when you touch every living thing._

"It's peaceful," he said stretching out his legs and leaning back on his elbows. "Nice little house on the lake, do some fishing . . . star gazing," his voice dropped and slowed as every word he spoke seemed to appear before him. "A place untouched by the wars," he added softly.

Jaden patted his knee twice and stood. "Not entirely."

Carth winced at the sharp pain in his chest and rubbed it absently. "Jaden," he called out as he scrambled up to follow her. "The Mandalorians didn't attack Naboo."

"That doesn't mean it wasn't touched by war," Jaden said as she continued to walk. "Battle can take many forms. It isn't always fought with ships or weapons. Sometimes it's words. Sometimes the battle is within ourselves."

"Light versus dark?" He asked blinking rapidly as they returned to the light.

"Yes. Can I ask you something?" she questioned moving from his side. He nodded. "I've heard you say a couple of times that you would like to go back to the past."

Carth instantly became leery of where the conversation could go. "I've also said I wouldn't change anything," he told her guardedly.

"When you came after me, you had visions," she said as she turned away from him. She remembered vividly the dark side tempting him and the steps he had taken.

"I recognized them for what they were. Lies," he told her quietly. "Whatever my life was before," he paused and ran his hands through his hair, "I've accepted what has happened."

Jaden turned to him and looked in his eyes. "Have you? You took those steps, Carth." It was the first time she had acknowledged aloud what had happened on the Ebon Hawk.

He wanted to feign ignorance, but knew she was talking about the vision of Morgana the dark side used to try to trick him. _How had she known?_ "She's gone, Jaden, and nothing will ever bring her back. Is that why you brought me here? To point out my failures?" He was angry but the question held no heat. Carth didn't need to be reminded of what he had done.

"No," she said shaking her head.

"Yes, there are times I miss her so much I just want to die, but I realized a long time ago, I can't have her back. I've said my good-byes, but that doesn't stop me from thinking about her." _It was my world and all I have left is my son._ "It was nothing but a unconscionable trick of the dark side and I regret I took those steps," he added softly.

She walked to him and brushed the hair from his eyes. "But she never said good bye."

Carth sighed, "What are you talking about?"

Jaden stepped away. "A promise fulfilled."

Carth went to open his mouth and found himself standing on a well-worn path at the bottom of a narrow canyon; its sheer rock walls impossibly high, towering over him. He spun around a couple of times calling Jaden's name but the only answer he received was the echo of his lone voice on the wind. In both directions, there was nothing but the path and the sheer walls as far as he could see.

"Damn it!" He swore softly, kicking at the loose dirt. "Where are you?" He whispered putting his fists on his hips.

"Do you really still have that hideous orange jacket?"

Carth spun around so fast he had to take a step in order to steady himself.

"Hello, Carth."

All thought fled his mind save one, "Morgana," he whispered, as the petite auburn haired woman walked toward him, her blue eyes alight with love and happiness, her dark blue robe enhancing her pale features. It was his favorite color for her because it made her eyes more luminous than they were. Carth couldn't remember ever buying her a different color. At one point, she had accused him of being colorblind since he only bought her dark blue. Morgana had even gone so far as to accuse him that was why Dustil was male. Carth told her it was because he was so virile. Morgana had scoffed at him saying, _"You wish."_

"Hey, Admiral," she said softly looking up at him. He was speechless, his mouth as arid as the Dune Sea of Tatooine. Carth remembered she called him by his rank on more than one occasion, usually when she was upset about something he had done, or forgot, like her birthday. What had been his whole existence, his heart, the mother of his son was standing before him. He didn't want to breathe for fear she would disappear. He didn't want to believe this was a cruel joke either, but the memory from the Ebon Hawk niggled through his mind. It couldn't be real. Jaden had done something to him, out of spite or for reparation for those steps.

Morgana reached up and cradled his face. "I'm real," she told him and found herself yanked tight against his chest. His breathing became harsh, his chest tight as he battled every emotion he carried since that day when she died in his arms. He buried his face in her shoulder and let the tears flow.

"I've missed you," he whispered with rough emotion, breathing in her scent and letting his mind take him back to a life that was ripped from his grasp. She was real, trembling in his arms with her own reaction, her heart beating in a steady rhythm compared to the staccato pace of his own.

"I've missed you, too," she told him then tried to step away but Carth was having nothing to do with that. He tightened his hold on her, absorbing her warmth, reliving her innate sweetness in his mind.

"How? Why are you here? Where is here?" He asked running his hands along her back before he released her enough so he could trace the features of her face. She hadn't aged a bit and the mischievous sparkle in her eyes was still there. It was what had first attracted him to her, when were in school and Carth thought she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. It took weeks for him to work up the courage to ask her out and when he finally did, she turned him down flat, but he remembered the impish look in her eyes and knew the chase was on. It took weeks of asking her out, every day, before she finally broke down and laughingly agreed. The rest, as they say, is history. The short courtship, the fairy-tale wedding, the birth of Dustil, and Morgana swearing he would never get near her again for making her go through child birth. Nevertheless, when Dustil was placed in her arms, she immediately asked if they could do it again. His service in the Republic Navy had put that plan on hold, but as soon as he was home, they would have another baby. He had forfeited it all, when he re-enlisted.

Morgana took his hand and they began down the path. "How? Jaden allowed it. Why? Because years ago, I asked if it was possible to see you once more to tell you good bye. Where?" she stopped at a break in the rocks and pointed to the horizon. "This is the Valley of the Jedi, Jaden's home." Carth tore his gaze from her face and looked in the distance to an enormous stone temple. "Come, we don't have much time."

The temple, reached by a massive stone bridge, stood on a high plateau. Spires, unlike anything he'd ever seen, speared toward the cloudless sky and few windows could be seen in the stone structure. At the base of the temple, water fell into a mist that eddied around the plateau. A stab of longing raced through him. "Morgan, I don't understand. What did Jaden allow?"

"An outsider to be here with you."

"You don't . . . "

"Live here? No," she said shaking her head her long hair swinging. "My home is on Telos."

"Then why am I here?" He asked suddenly realizing why he felt at peace when he went to his home planet. His home may have been destroyed, but his roots still ran deep in the scorched and blighted earth.

"Because you and Jaden are one," she said simply. Carth tugged on her hand to stop her. Morgana gave him a smile and pushed the hair from his forehead. "She is barred from the valley, Carth." He nodded. "You carry a great deal of her power within you. Because of this, you can be here. Her . . . proxy if you will."

_Patience, Onasi,_ he told himself. Morgana sighed and told him, "You suffered through so much after my death," she said tracing her fingers over his brow. "I begged anyone who would listen for a chance to come back and assure you everything was fine."

"But it wasn't fine, Morgan. I failed you. I couldn't protect you and Dustil," he said reaching up and taking her hand as his voice cracked. "I failed you both." It was the first time he ever admitted his failure so plainly and something inside him shifted.

"You didn't fail, Carth," she told him quietly. He let go of her hand and stepped back.

"You died in my arms. I should have been there!" He ground out as he turned away from her in shame. He may have accepted her death, but it was the shame for failing her that ate at his soul for years.

She reached out and touched his back. "Carth, if you had been there, you would have died too. Where would that have left Dustil?"

He turned his head and looked at her. "He joined the Sith, Morgan."

"And if you had died, he would still be with the Sith or dead."

Carth frowned, "I wasn't the one to turn him from that path," he said remembering his time on Korriban with Revan. She had helped him find the proof to convince his son that the Sith were evil. He had never asked about the girl, but it didn't take a rocket scientist to see that Dustil had cared for her deeply. When Dustil found out Master Uthar had her killed, he agreed to leave the academy. Carth tensed when Morgana squeezed his arm.

"Don't sell yourself short." Carth looked over his shoulder. "Have you asked him why he left?"

"They killed his friend, the data pad proved it."

"So seeing his father risk life and limb in the Sith academy to save his son from a cycle of violence and death doesn't play a part?"

"He believes I abandoned him, that being a soldier was more important than you or him," he snapped with rough emotion.

"Dustil was only a boy, Carth." Morgana told him quietly. He thought for a moment and nodded. It didn't change the fact though, that if he had been in time, he could have saved them both. "You're not to blame for any of it. I wanted desperately to tell you that. Your guilt almost killed you. The revenge you sought on Saul made you cold."

"His death . . ."

"Brought you no peace and ultimately lead to more pain, more betrayal."

Carth inwardly groaned. He did not want to talk about Revan with his wife, for Force sake. Morgana took her husbands hand, linking their fingers as they headed for the temple.

"For years I watched you shut others out, keeping them at arms length. You were surviving, but you wouldn't allow yourself to live. Every decision was guided by guilt and feelings of failure. She accused you of having trust issues and being paranoid."

This time Carth's groan was audible. "I do not want to talk about . . . with you." He couldn't even say Revan's name without feeling humiliation for his stupidity.

Morgana sighed, ignored his outburst, and went on. "She was right." She felt him tense beside her. "What Revan was doesn't change the fact that she made you recognize the road you were on could have destroyed you."

"Yeah, didn't want _that_ to happen before she had a crack at me," he snapped sardonically.

Morgana sighed and softly said, "But she didn't get that shot, did she."

Carth sighed and shook his head as they reached the doors to the temple. For some reason, he felt disappointed they weren't elaborately carved, merely heavy, plain weathered wood that stood a hundred meters high.

"Would you mind?" She asked. Carth stepped forward then stopped. There were no handles. He turned to Morgana who was grinning and shaking her head. "You have no idea about the power you possess, do you?"

"It didn't exactly come with an instruction manual," he pouted as he turned to the doors and willed them to open with a wave of his hand. He grabbed Morgana and moved them both away as the massive doors creaked open.

"Before you go in . . ."

"You're not coming with me." He asked as panic spiked through his heart. It was too soon, he wasn't ready for her to go! There was so much more he wanted to tell her. So much time he wanted to just sit with her, to be with her.

Morgana shook her head, "Only Jaden is allowed to enter. Well, and you," she added with an impish grin.

Carth looked at the enormous structure of stone. The towers were even more imposing as they reached toward the sky. With the lack of windows, the place would be dark, dreary and depressing. It was nothing like the glass and durasteel Jedi temple on Coruscant. "A lonely existence," he whispered.

"Jaden came to me a little over a year ago. She explained what had happened to you, what Revan had done," she told him as she ran her hands over his chest and rested them on his shoulders. Carth linked his hands behind her back. "She had heard my pleas in the past but had no way to grant me my wish to see you one more time to say good bye. To tell you I love you and I'm proud of you."

Carth wiped away her single tear with his thumb as he swallowed back his own.

"She wasn't sure how she would do it, but she promised me she would find a way before her final battle."

Carth sighed and touched his forehead to hers. "A promise fulfilled," he whispered. Morgana moved her arms around his neck and kissed him gently.

"Jaden loves you, Carth. As much as you love her," she told him quietly. He closed his eyes and grimaced. _Something else he wasn't sure he should be talking about with his wife, his feelings for Jaden._ "This is what I want for you. You've broken no vows to me and you are not to blame for what has happened in the past."

"Morgan . . ."

"Listen to me. I know what holds you back, but you must believe me when I tell you, that no matter what happens, Jaden will never leave you."

"Morgana . . ."

"Promise me, Carth," Morgana hastily went on. "Promise me you will live. Promise me you will love once again; _truly_ love once again."

He pulled her close and breathed her scent, letting his eyes shut. "I don't know how," he whispered. _You are, and always will be the closest thing to my heart._

Morgana turned her head and kissed his chin, "Silly, silly, Admiral." When he chuckled, she moved away but not out of his arms. He once again traced her features, committing this moment to memory.

"I love you," he told her softly as he continued to memorize her face with his touch.

"I love you, too." She reached up and pulled him close for a kiss. Carth allowed himself to drown in the healing warmth that holding Morgana brought back to him. It was gentle and sweet, safe and comforting. He felt a part of his soul uncoil, a part that had twisted the day she died.

"You should go. Time is running short," she said snuggling closer to him. "Tell Dustil I love him and that I miss him. Tell him I am proud of the man he has become, and he is man, so much like his father," she whispered.

"That should send him running," he tried to joke past the lump in his throat. Morgana stepped out of his arms but held his hand as she stepped away.

"Let go of the past, Carth. Let me go. Allow yourself to be happy."

He nodded, "I promise," he told her as their fingertips touched, one last time. Morgana gave him a beautiful smile before she turned away and disappeared, like a shimmering mirage.

"Be happy, Morgana," he said softly then ruthlessly swiped under his eyes and turned to enter the temple.

-----

As his eyes adjusted to the darkness he began to notice shapes, huge looming statues flanking the halls. As he waked forward, the shallow metallic basins at their feet would flare to life with fire as the staffs held in their hands, lit the way down the long dark passageway.

_The Hall of the Beginnings_.

"Beginnings?"

_These are the first that recognized the power the Force possessed. On the right, the Jedi, who sought to use the Force for the betterment of the galaxy. On the left, the Sith, who wanted to use the Force for their own twisted and cruel desires for power._

Carth didn't recognize the voice that spoke to him. Its blended tones, accents and languages were missing a voice: Jaden's voice. "I don't understand," he said looking at the massive figures, "Why are the Sith depicted here if this is the Valley of the Jedi?" he asked as he began moving forward. "I thought Korriban was the birthplace of the Sith."

_These are the True Sith._

"So Ajunta Pal and Naga Sadow?"

_Thousands of years after the True Sith left, the others struck at their Jedi masters in anger. Thus, the Sith you know were born._

"So . . . fake Sith but True Jedi?"

_There is only one True Jedi. _

Carth stumbled once then kept moving. "Jaden. She said she was not allowed to be a Jedi."

_Would you have her become something less than what she is?_

Carth exited the hall onto a balcony that circled a large rotunda. Tipping his head back as far as he could, all he saw was darkness, moving like a beast, stealthily, quietly stalking its prey. Its tendrils slowly snaking down the stone walls, curling around the massive rock pillars. Looking below, he saw a stone circle. In its center was a fountain of light, pulsing, struggling to stay aloft. Even as he watched, it dimmed, lost some of its sparkle.

"No," he said a minute later to the question that had been posed.

_Come._

Carth turned right and headed for the massive stone staircase on the opposite side. As he walked along, he read some of the names on the stone plaques affixed to the wall. "Are these the tombs of the True Jedi?"

_No. Merely a testament to some of the Orders true masters; those who have reached a higher understanding of the Force._

Carth stopped at the head of the stairs and felt a cold, sickly sensation slide across his skin. He walked to a sealed door and raised his hand to it. He could feel the icy fingers of nothingness on the other side reach out to him.

_The Hall of Ending,_ he was told.

"Ending?"

_The death of the Force._

Carth took a hasty step back and turned away. The idea that the Force would one day end frightened him more than he cared to admit. If Jaden failed to defeat the Exile . . . it didn't bear thinking about so he pushed the thought away. As he descended the stairs, it became brighter and warmer. Statues ringed this room as well, holding up the balcony he had just come from.

_These are the ones that carried the keys._

"The legend," Carth said as he studied the detail on the statues. The realism was incredible. "The three keys. The Exile has found one of them. Will it lead him to the next?"

_Yes and that key will lead him to the last. _

"Why? I mean it's obvious that the light side is the better route to go, so why didn't you send Jaden to find the keys."

_T__hrough adversity and overcoming challenges, all living creatures become stronger._

Carth sighed and shook his head. "More Jedi speak. Would a straight answer kill you?"

_We are her strength. We are her weakness. Without both, she is nothing. Together, she is complete._

"Guess it would," he muttered. "What does that mean?"

Carth never got his answer as he wandered the room. There were no carvings on the wall, no doors he could see, and no furniture of any kind. He walked around once then went to the stone circle to study the symbols on the small rock pillars. As he approached, he felt a charge of energy pass through him and the fountain of light flared and grew stronger. Startled, Carth stepped back. The energy faded and the light dimmed.

_It recognizes you. There is nothing to fear._

"What recognizes me?" he asked calming his heart.

_The Force._

_-----_

Atton figured they had only been in the meeting maybe ten minutes, but his head pounded as the Council asked questions of Visas, Canderous and himself. What was Jaden's background, where was she from, how did they meet, why did she choose them, what about her balance and perhaps, Atton thought, the biggest question of all, why didn't she come to the Jedi Council? He decided that was what really put their robes in a knot; Jaden had excluded them and they were _not_ very happy about it. Especially Bastila.

She had checked the chronometer on the wall several times and continued to watch the door. Atton wanted to tell her to give it up, but he kept silent. Bastila had always been a bit snobby to him. A princess, as Canderous had called her, better than the rest of them. He wasn't a sympathetic Jedi when it came to her. She wanted to hurt two people he held in high esteem.

Visas casually reached out and touched his arm. Atton spared her a brief glance and nodded. It was almost time and all hell was going to break loose. Atton had felt the change in the Force before they left the cantina and over the past few minutes, he had experienced a feeling of unity, one of love, forgiveness and reconciliation. Now, the energy was building and he was bracing himself. When a spike in energy passed over him he silently prayed Bastila wouldn't feel it, but that plea fell on deaf ears.

"What was that?" She asked as she and Tuluk exchanged glances. Vandar said nothing.

"What was what?" Atton asked a picture of innocence then grimaced because Bastila stood and immediately went to the door only to find her way barred by a tall burly Mandalorian.

"Sorry, Princess, I can't let you interfere."

"Out of our way, Mandalorian or I'll have you arrested!" Tuluk demanded as he joined Bastila at the door.

"You and what army," Canderous asked with a touch of humor. It only infuriated Tuluk more and Visas supposed it was a good thing Canderous didn't have his rifle, otherwise Tuluk would be staring down its lethal barrel.

"Bastila, please. Do not stop this. It must be done," Visas pleaded in her quiet manner.

"You of all people know about draining life. She is going to kill him!" Bastila spit out. It was a low, spiteful thing to say, to bring up Visas's past association with Darth Nilous, but she let it go.

"Master Shan," Vandar said from the other side of the room, "Master Tuluk. Jaden knows what she is doing. She will not destroy him."

"Master Vandar . . ." But Bastila never finished her statement because they all felt the tug in the Force, drawing them in.

"She wouldn't . . ." Visas trailed off her thought.

"Yes she would!" Atton grabbed Visas and pulled her to the floor. Canderous did the same with Bastila, so Tuluk was the only one thrown to his ass, sliding across the polished floor as the power of the wave of Force energy spread out from the ship. It only lasted a moment, as it passed through them, but it was raw and pure.

"Wow," Atton said lifting his head. "Are you all right?" He asked Visas as he helped her up.

"I'm fine. Canderous?"

"Yeah. Good thing I didn't have a bunk to fall out of this time. Princess?"

"Let me go!" Bastila snarled.

"She's fine," Canderous said picking her up and setting her on her feet. She violently shrugged off his hands then looked at each of them, as if they were insane, before she scrambled out the door.

"Damn it!" Atton swore, "Visas, tell Dustil they're about to have company." He sighed and shook his head. "Come on, Mandalore. Time to earn your title."

-----

Carth knew he was alone when there was no response to his question about that last cryptic comment. What was he suppose to do now? He was alone in a temple that was slowly being consumed by the dark side - yeah; he didn't miss what the darkness meant - in the Valley of the Jedi which Jaden was barred from. Should he leave? No, Jaden sent him here for a reason besides sharing a final moment with Morgana.

"What am I suppose to do, Jaden," he asked quietly watching the light. It really was mesmerizing. _Almost begging me to touch it,_ he thought. Carth shook his head to clear it. The last time he got near, the energy pulse almost knocked him over.

"Think, Onasi," he muttered as he began exploring the room again. There was something here, he knew, that was uniquely Jaden. Carth rolled his eyes at himself, "Her birthmark." _Oh geez,_ he thought, was it really just last night when he traced her mark, fascinated since it seemed to come alive with his touch. It was on her right shoulder blade, close to her heart and each time he traced it, it pulsed to life.

_Okay,_ he thought, _a symbol._ When he passed under the opening to the Hall of Beginnings, he stopped. The Jedi were on the right side, Jaden's mark on her right shoulder. Putting his back to the hall entrance, he went to his right and found nothing. "Bloody round rooms," he muttered then did the same process from the stairs. He tapped his foot a few times in frustration, his hands on his hips.

Getting upset wasn't going to help so he needed to be calm. Hell, he was standing in the bastion of calm. Carth loosened his shoulders, closed his eyes and took slow, deep breaths. A familiar comfort spread through him. "We are one," he whispered and heard what sounded like a stone gear. Opening his eyes he saw a pedestal raise, bearing her symbol, out of the circle of stones. Carth felt the pull when he lifted his hand to touch it. The fountain flared once and drawing in a deep breath of courage, he slammed his hand on the pedestal.

The fountain changed to a radiant white flame and shot into the air. Carth could hear the growl of rage from the dark side as it retreated higher in the tower. It pushed back in a frenzy and Carth ducked as he found himself surrounded by the white fire, it's energy feeding off of him, before it once more thrust the dark side back in a brilliant flash. He turned his face away and gritted his teeth against the pain unable to catch his breath and it felt as if he was ablaze. His left arm went to his middle, he doubled over, and let out an agonizing scream that echoed around the chamber.

"_Vita vis vitea,"_ whispered on the wind, "_Release him_."


	28. Chapter 27

Zared prowled the bridge of the Gehenna in a foul mood. Radha and the historians still hadn't translated the whole parchment, only giving him coordinates to a remote spot in the galaxy. An asteroid field of all places, with hundreds or thousands of the little buggers. It could take weeks. Weeks he didn't have and then there was no guarantee that the next key would lead him to the third. Regardless of Jaden having Mandalore, he was still going to have to find the key. He was sorely tempted to break his promise to Jaden, knowing Admiral Onasi would do anything to get his son back, even involve the Jedi Council, but he couldn't do that. Who would have thought that the leader of the Sith Empire was a man of his word?

On top of that, Jaden herself was adding to his foul mood. He kept repeating it didn't matter, but damn it, it did! Somehow, she had gotten under his skin. She was sharing Carth Onasi's bed and that knowledge felt like a saber through his heart. Zared had been unable to sleep last night because of the feelings he sensed through the Force. He knew the moment Onasi had touched her and it twisted him into a knot. Frack! What was it about Carth Onasi that turned normal, intelligent, strong women into a quivering mass of need? Even Revan, despite her dislike of the man, had willingly gone into his arms. Granted, Zared had benefited from a few lessons, but really, he thought, the man was in his late forties, shouldn't he be slowing down or something?

Now, his left shoulder was throbbing and he knew it wasn't a good thing. It had started not too long ago and had just spiked, causing him to flinch. Jaden was up to something, he just couldn't figure out what it was. Somehow, she was tapping into a source of Force power and he could feel it swirl around him, teasing, tugging and pushing back. Mixed with that was a sense of found peace and acceptance. _That _made him shudder, but perhaps worse, it scared him.

"What are you up to?" he whispered stopping in front of one of the observation windows. As he watched the blue weave of hyperspace, he felt the strong pull of the Force causing him to step forward to keep his balance. _What's this,_ he thought as his mind flashed on the vision of Carth Onasi, his hand poised over Jaden's symbol, hesitating once before slamming his palm down on the glowing stone pillar.

Zared reared back a few paces before roaring his outrage and lunging at the vision before a white flame cradled itself around the admiral then threw him off his feet. Alarms screamed around him while the Gehenna bucked and twisted as the hyperspace route spit it out as if the ship was something vile. Zared found himself thrown to the deck, the wind knocked out of him. Several moments passed before he was able to breathe and get to his feet.

The bridge was in disarray, the ship listing at an odd angle. Some of his men were injured and others were putting out the small fires around various stations. He ordered Captain Balla to turn off the alarms.

"Milord?" The captain asked clearly shaken.

"You have fifteen minutes to give me a report on the condition of this ship and get me the location of the Sojourn," Zared snapped and stormed from the bridge to his private office.

"By all that is holy, what have you done?"

* * *

Jaden took slow, calming breaths before she rose and signaled for the medics. "Come on handsome," she said as she tipped the chair back and straightened out his legs. He moaned at the movement. "Talk to me, Onasi." She sat next to him and brushed the hair from his face then ran her hands over his shoulders, arms and chest to make sure there weren't any other injuries. She leaned forward and kissed his cheek before calling his name again. "Onasi, come on. Talk to me." When he still didn't respond, Jaden felt a shaft of fear go through her. Had she gone too far? She knew she lost control of the Joining when the Midiclorians stepped in to protect Carth. She hadn't anticipated the dark side's violent reaction, thinking it hadn't gained such a stronghold, and that mistake had almost cost him his life.

"Coulda . . . told . . .me," he whispered. Jaden silently sighed, taking his hand and gave it a squeeze.

"The medics will be here soon."

"Tell me . . . what . . . to look . . . for," he said with an accusing look under his lowered lashes. Jaden brushed at his sable hair and smiled.

"You figured it out faster than I ever did."

"Cuz I'm an admiral," he painfully swallowed, " . . . just a girl." Jaden cocked a brow and chuckled. "Oooowww," he said as he gingerly moved his arm to her leg. "Thank you," he whispered, his eyes filled with gratitude.

"You're welcome."

"Luffu," he mumbled as his eyes closed and his breathing evened out.

Jaden kissed him gently and thought,_ you say that now, but when what you experienced sinks in, you may feel differently._

"Jaden, the medics are here," Dustil's voice crackled over the comm unit. _And,_ she thought, _everyone else based on the raised voices outside the door._

She was faced with chaos when the door opened. Dustil and HK stood in front of her, sentinels keeping out the riff-raff. HK had his rifle ready to fire, was in full assassination mode and aiming at Bastila and Tuluk, who were flanked by Atton and Canderous with Visas right behind. Beyond them were the medics trying to get through. To top off the party, General Lavek was bearing down on the group with a security detail close behind.

"Ensign Onasi! What the hell is going on here?" Kwyn bellowed down the narrow hallway.

"Ensign?" Jaden asked Dustil as she touched his shoulder.

"I did graduate," he said not taking his eyes off the group before him.

"So I heard. I was a bit busy that day."

"Thank the Force," he mumbled.

"You're welcome," Jaden said with a wink. Dustil gave her a curious look. "He's out of it, but you can see him." Dustil nodded and turned to the room.

"HK?"

"Eager Statement: Yes, Master. I am ready to defend my two favorite meat bags."

"I don't think that'll be necessary," she said rolling her eyes. "You can stand down."

"Query: Are you certain, Master? The one called Tuluk looks rather shifty to me."

She heard the snickers from the hallway and knew several of them agreed but didn't say so. Tuluk's face was mottled with rage, which made his beak-like nose stand out, and his close-set eyes appear smaller. "Stand down."

"Weary Resignation: Very well, Master, if you wish to thwart me of my duty, who am I to argue?"

_Next?_

Jaden crooked her finger at the med-techs. They looked at the group warily but came forward. "Take care with his midsection."

"Yes, ma'am," one of them acknowledged and they went into the room.

_Next?_

"So," she looked at Atton and Canderous, "how was the meeting?" she asked cheerfully.

"How dare you defy the wishes of the Jedi Council!" Bastila practically screamed. Jaden looked at Canderous who only shrugged.

"We can have you arrested for attempted murder," Tuluk added. Jaden snapped her gaze to the two Jedi Masters.

"The Council's wishes or yours, Bastila? I don't answer to the Council and I certainly don't answer to you," Jaden told her dangerously as she pointed to the irritating woman. She then turned to Tuluk, "You want to try to arrest me, you better remember I have a lot of energy I haven't absorbed yet that's just itching to be used."

"Are you threatening me?" He asked outraged that she would speak to him in that manner.

"Just a warning of the state I'm in at the moment."

"How could you do this again, knowing it could kill him?" Bastila demanded, shaking with her fury.

Jaden touched her temple and shook her head. "He's fine." Her head was pounding and she hadn't lied to Tuluk. She could feel the energy she had taken from Carth swirling around her and she needed to find a way to absorb it. Standing here arguing with two Jedi Masters wasn't the answer.

Bastila sucked in a breath as they brought Carth out of the room strapped to the gurney. She quickly went over to him and took his hand. Carth moaned at the contact, and when she touched his brow, he turned his head away. "Carth?"

The techs looked at Jaden and she nodded that they should move on. Dustil stopped beside her. She hadn't missed the sharp look of pain on Bastila's face when Carth turned away from her or the nasty look in her direction.

Jaden looked at Kwyn, "You want a piece of me too?"

"Yeah. You could have warned me this would take out half the systems on the ship," he said as he crossed his arms over his chest and narrowed his eyes.

Jaden tried to look contrite, but the grin peeked out anyway. "Sorry. T3 can help with the repairs."

"Damn straight," he said with his own lip quirking. "Are you okay?" He asked quietly.

"I will be," she said with a smile. "Thanks for asking."

Kwyn dismissed the security detail and started down the hall. He stopped at the end and turned back to her, "Are we going to have visitors I should be aware of?"

"No," she said shaking her head. Kwyn nodded and disappeared around the corner.

"Visitors?" Dustil asked.

"The Sith, you idiot!" Tuluk snarled.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Jaden said grabbing Atton around his waist as he charged at Tuluk.

"This isn't over," Bastila said haughtily and walked away with Tuluk.

~~ _Why does she refuse to listen? _~~ She asked as her exhaustion threatened to undo her.

~~ _Listening and hearing are two different things, child. You listened many times, yet you did not hear._ ~~

~~ _You're speaking Jedi again._ ~~

~~ _When you hear the voice, what is it saying?_ ~~

~~ _That it feels shame for it's failure, that it feels lost, that it is alone._ ~~

~~ _And when you listen?_ ~~

Jaden thought for a moment, ~~ _Empty echoes off a steel facade built around accepting that trust is not to be given lightly, that it only leads to betrayal._ ~~

~~ _She listens to the message, child but she does not hear what it is saying._ ~~

* * *

_Something was going to have to be done about Jaden. The Council had taken a wait and see attitude, as it always did, but it was becoming clear that she was a threat to the Jedi and the Republic. She had fooled some on the Council into thinking she was this light side point in the Force, but there were others who were convinced she was Sith and working with the Exile. Jaden was endangering the Republic and slowly murdering Admiral Onasi. The time to act was now, while emotions ran high and were easily manipulated._

* * *

T3 beeped, buzzed, and did what the technician told the droid to do. Reroute this, diagnose that and all the while T3 happily searched through the Republic database for information to store in the massive databank on the Ebon Hawk, built behind the bulkhead in the cabin Jaden used. An occasional whistle of dread slipped through and fortunately, the technician thought it was something to do with the system.

There were times T3 had occasion to question why the Master wanted such information but it wasn't the droids place to speculate. T3 carried out its orders and happily. Of all the masters, he liked Jaden best. She took the best care of T3 and HK, although the Master Revan had looked out for them. The little droid's motivators had revved up when Admiral Onasi had returned and T3 secretly hoped that the Admiral would be the next master. HK had put down that idea saying it was doubtful the Admiral would want any reminders of Revan or Jaden around when this was over. He had "pbbbbt" at the assassin droid and wheeled away.

Now, T3 was following the technician to their next assignment when a burst of static activated the private comm-link in the internal systems.

"How's my favorite Astromech droid?"

"Dwoo."

"One day I'm going to win you over, T3." The droid quietly beeped his denial. "Where is Jaden?" T3 ignored the question and rolled on. Zared sighed, "If I can reach this private channel, do you really think I can't reach other parts to you?" and to prove it, T3 felt a mild electrical shock over the com-link and freaked. There was no other way to describe it. His head shook back and forth while the stout body turned in circles, emitting excited beeps, twerts and chirps of doom. The droid felt another mild charge and if jumping was part of the programming, then T3 jumped.

"Stop it! You're giving me a headache. Now, where is Jaden?"

"What's wrong with your T3 unit?"

"I don't know. It just . . . freaked out."

"Well, you better catch it or General Lavek's going to have your head," the tech chuckled.

"Hey! Come back here you mechanical Gizka!"

* * *

T3 raced along the corridors of the Sojourn in search of Jaden, ignoring the angry shouts of the crew as they quickly jumped out of the way or risked being mowed down by the fast moving droid. As it was, a few were rewarded with bruised or broken toes for their lack of speed.

When T3 entered the medical center, he literally rolled into Kwyn, who found himself knocked to his knees. "Slow down. Where's the fire?" he asked picking himself up and rubbing a sore spot, but T3 had already rolled on, chirping of doom.

When T3 entered the private room Jaden and Carth had used, she was asleep on the bed. He rolled to her, chattering excitedly, as he bumped the bed several times. Jaden opened one eye and told the little droid to go away.

"Dwoo!"

"Then tell him you can't find me," she muttered pulling the pillow over her head. T3 didn't go away and the next string of beeps and whistles had Jaden getting up and sighing, "Fine, put him through."

As T3 hooked into the rooms comm unit, Kwyn walked, or rather limped, in the room. He locked the door and stood with his arms crossed and his feet apart. It was obvious he wasn't going to leave so Jaden ignored him and nodded to T3. "Stop torturing my droid."

"Your droid? I think T3 belonged to me first."

"Actually, T3 belonged to a Rodian named Bezit, or Whozit, or Whatzit long before you. It doesn't matter. Stop hurting T3."

Kwyn's arms fell to his side when the hologram of the Exile had appeared. Now, his mouth was in danger of dropping open as well.

There was nothing Jaden could do about it now so she asked, "What do you want, Zared?" She was resigned to the fact that she was going to have some fancy explaining to do when this conversation was over. She braced herself and pushed back the headache she could feel gaining ground in her skull.

"What do I want? Well, for starters you can tell me what the hell you're doing . . ."

"I _was_ sleeping."

" . . . Then you can tell me why my ship was thrown out of the hyper-space route and oh hell, I can be nice, how's Admiral Onasi?" he asked planting his hands on his hips.

Jaden kept her features schooled in a mask of indifference. "I don't know why and he's fine, kind of you to ask."

Zared smiled his slick and oily best, "If I've told you once Darling, I've told you several times," the smile dropped and Kwyn felt a chill along his spine, "Stupid isn't a good look for you," he sneered.

Jaden sighed and shook her head. "Do you want a fair fight?"

"Stupid questions now?" Zared snapped.

"I'm leveling the odds."

"By knocking me on my ass?" He yelled. "This is the second time you've sent a wave of Force energy through the galaxy. I want to know why."

Jaden just stared at the holovid. How the hell did Zared know about Carth? He wouldn't just ask to make conversation. He must have seen him when the transfer took place and the Masters protected him as the dark side lunged forward. Stupid, stupid, stupid mistake on her part, but she wanted to give Morgana one last time with Carth. _Why didn't you tell me the dark side was that entrenched? I would have found another way!_

"Fine," he spit out.

"What do you want me to say?" She asked as her own anger began to rise. Fortunately, she was strong enough to allow that to happen.

"Well, maybe you can tell me why Carth Onasi shows up in my vision, just before I'm knocked on my ass!" Zared ran his hands through his hair in frustration.

"How the hell should I know? You know he's Telosian, descendent of the original settlers." In a well-duh tone, she went on to say, "Do you honestly think he's such a great pilot and commander because he practiced? Why do you think the Sith took his son?"

Zared frowned mulling the information over and was about to say something when his grin got in the way. "You wicked, wicked woman. Carth Onasi is Force Sensitive and you trained him. Isn't that breaking some cardinal rule?" Zared asked with a chuckle. Jaden gave him an innocent look, and then he burst out laughing. When Kwyn stepped forward, ready to defend his friend, Jaden shot him a look that had his feet stalling.

"I should demand to know how you convinced him to learn to use the very thing that has screwed with his life, but I need the laughs thinking about it will provide."

"Hmm, trade secret, but it is nice to see you smile again."

"Darling, only you could get the leader of the Sith Empire to . . ."

"Giggle like a girl?" Jaden mocked him angrily.

"You tell anyone . . ." he warned.

Jaden shook her head as she rolled her eyes, "Not a word."

After watching each other warily for a few moments Zared said, "Well, I have a key to find."

"Good luck," _you're going to need it._

"Thanks for the lies, Darling"

"My pleasure."

"Oh, and you really should have T3 checked, I think there's a short," he said with mock concern. "See you soon, Darling."

Jaden again rolled her eyes, "Looking forward to it." She collapsed to her knees the moment the holovid ended.

Kwyn was immediately at her side, helping her up and to the chair. "Are you all right?" He asked and Jaden nodded.

"T3, did you get a location?" The droid beeped, "How close is he?" Again, T3 answered. "Two days? Damn it."

"He's coming here. You said . . ." Kwyn asked with concern. T3 beeped and Jaden frowned. "Jaden!"

"Huh? No, he was two days from . . . the location of the second key. But the Force wave damaged some of his systems as well, so we have more time."

"Time for what?"

"To go to Korriban and seal the cave," she said as she reached up and scratched the side of her neck. She could still feel the prickle of the dark side and it was becoming imperative that they seal the cave. Hopefully, the pushback of the dark side at the Valley would buy them some time, but she wasn't counting on it.

"Then what?" Kwyn asked watching her.

"Don't know. I'm making this up as I go along."

Kwyn sighed and went to the wall to lean on it. He was worn out. Between commanding the ship and running interference with the Jedi Council, he hadn't had much chance to rest. The stims helped but he didn't like using them so Visas taught him some meditation techniques, but what he really wanted to do was lock the door to his room and get horizontal. It just wasn't going to happen with his best friend zoning in a Kolto tank, a certain Jedi dogging his heals, and a woman chatting amiably with the enemy as if they were old buddies catching up. If Kwyn hadn't known the history behind all this and trusted Carth, he too might think Jaden was a Sith.

"Does Carth know you two can find each other?" He asked.

Jaden inwardly sighed. "Yes."

"So Zared contacted you the last time," he stated.

"No. I hadn't spoken to him since we made the trade for the first key."

"Then why now?"

Jaden shrugged, "Know thy enemy and their capabilities." _And, because I made a stupid mistake._

"But you didn't tell him anything. Even he said it was all lies," Kwyn said trying valiantly to hold on to his patience.

She wrinkled her nose, "Not exactly." When Kwyn rubbed at his temple, Jaden flexed her fingers and took away his headache. He gave a tired smile of thanks. "I didn't lie about Carth. He is Force Sensitive," she paused, "Very Force Sensitive. None of this would have possible otherwise."

"Why didn't he ever say anything? Why didn't the Jedi come for him when he was a kid?"

"Because he doesn't know, Kwyn." Jaden sighed recognizing she had put her foot in this one by telling Zared of Carth's connection to the Force. "As far as the Jedi go, they did come for him. His father threw them out, just as each Onasi patriarch had done before. And," she added to emphasize the point, "He never told Carth or his mother."

"How do you know this?"

"Embodiment has its privileges," she said realizing, that in her state, she was saying things she shouldn't say.

Kwyn recognized that she was avoiding his question so he went on. "Okay, but surely the Council would recognize that he is Force Sensitive, wouldn't they."

_Not when he's been shielded from those that use the Force since the night his wife died._ "A few did, but what purpose would it serve to tell him when he does so much good in the Republic Navy. Besides, the Force hasn't exactly been his best bud, wouldn't you agree?"

Kwyn thought for a moment, and then nodded. "Then Dustil . . ."

"Almost as strong as his father."

"Then why is he a go-fer for the Council, why don't they train him?"

"Besides being . . ." she was going to say idiots, but decided that wouldn't look to good so she shook her head and said, "Dustil was a Sith."

"And you? Are you Sith?" Kwyn asked outright. Jaden appreciated his forthright nature. Carth was very lucky to have a friend like Kwyn. The man was loyal to the bone yet not afraid to speak his mind. It was refreshing to see after so many people become deferential when it came to the Force. Yes, it was all-powerful, could be good or evil and determine one's destiny, but elevating it to God-like status got on her nerves.

Jaden grinned as she rose from the chair and approached him.

"I am Sith. I am Jedi. I am the Force."

* * *

Jaden blinked away the stars in front of her eyes as she struggled to regain her breath. Canderous moved, unfocused, above her. "Had enough?" he asked.

She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. "One more." Canderous hesitated then helped her up.

"Mandalorian or Echani rules?"

"None."

Canderous was surprised but then narrowed his eyes at her, "No Force powers."

"Agreed," she mumbled, "I probably couldn't control them anyway."

"What the hell does that mean?" He demanded as he toweled off his sweat-covered chest. Jaden, despite her smaller size, was a good fighter and he hadn't had this kind of workout since he was in the training camp on Dxun before Vaklu attacked and had him arrested. She was quick and slippery, a little like chasing an oiled Gizka, and while that normally didn't interest him, sparing with Jaden provided to be a challenge.

"It means all that power is still here," she answered waving her hands in front of her, "not here," she thumped her chest, "where I can control it." He raised a brow. "It's like . . . food. You eat to replenish the energy you use. I need to use up my own energy so I can absorb more."

"So what did you do the last time?" He asked and immediately regretted it when Jaden blushed and turned away. He grunted in disgust.

After Jaden's conversation with Kwyn, she had checked on Carth, who was still in the Kolto tank. The doctor told her it would be a few more hours so she hunted up Canderous for a little hand-to-hand combat to help her absorb what she'd taken. So, now they were in one of the training rooms beating on each other. Atton and HK were sitting in the gallery with a few others, shouting advice to her, but it wasn't helping much against the tall, solidly built Mandalorian. Jaden didn't want to think about how many pounds Canderous had on her she just needed the exercise.

"Ready?" he asked and found himself thrown to his back by her sidekick to his midsection.

"Funny, I don't recall ever hearing you ask that during the Mandalorian wars."

Canderous flipped to his feet and the match was on. He swung at Jaden who blocked the blow with her left arm while leaning back. She turned slightly and jabbed her right elbow just under his ribcage. When he leaned forward, Jaden brought her knee up but he grabbed her foot to pull her off balance. Jaden executed a back flip and landed on both feet. Canderous side kicked her and she slid across the mat.

~~ _He is no match for you._ ~~

~~ _I won't cheat._ ~~

_~~Trusting what you are, is not cheating. He knows his abilities and uses them. Use what you know._ ~~

Ten minutes later, Jaden sat on his chest, breathing heavily, with her arms pumping the air soaking in the cheers from the gallery. "You can get up now," Canderous groused but she recognized the admiration behind the tone. Jaden looked down at him and grinned. This last match had gone longer than the others had, with Jaden countering each of his moves and letting her reflexes guide her actions. She was proud of each of her bruises and would allow them to heal unaided. Even the one on her chin.

"You didn't let me win, did you?" She asked as she moved and offered her hand to help him. Canderous frowned at her.

"There is no honor in throwing a fight," he answered getting up slowly.

"Thank you," she said touching his face and healing him in the process.

"Humph."

* * *

Jaden dropped the towel and looked at her nude body in the mirror. She had gone to Carth's quarters to clean up after her bout with Canderous and stood looking over her right shoulder, pleased to see her birthmark was brighter which meant she was stronger. The bruise on her left shoulder, however, was a dark mass of purples and blacks. She had a few bruises on her arms and legs, but the colorful display of blues, yellows and greens on her right hip had her grimacing then grinning. At the last, she had given as good as she got. It hurt a little to smile, but her lip and jaw would heal.

Dressed in leggings and one of Carth's comfortable old shirts, she began putting away the laundry the ships' cleaners had returned. She enjoyed the domestic task and knew it was another memory she would tuck away and take with her when this was over.

"You never put your own clothes away."

Jaden turned and smiled. "Mother!"

"I also didn't teach you to brawl like a bully in a school yard," Alcinia said with a frown.

"I know all kinds of things you never taught me," Jaden said with a grin as she swung her arms back and forth like a little girl hiding a secret. Alcinia cocked a brow. "Mom, I beat Mandalore, the leader of the Mandalorians!" She said excitedly.

"So did Revan."

"Not in hand-to-hand," Jaden said petulantly. Alcinia sighed and shook her head, but there was a smile tugging at her lips. "Why are you here? I didn't think I'd see you again." Jaden asked with the pleasure of the unexpected surprise clear in her tone.

"They asked, and I said yes."

Jaden, the thrill of beating Canderous fading, inquired warily, "What did they ask."

"They are . . . upset and pleased with you. Or, perhaps, they thought only a mother could deal with you?" She teased sitting on the end of the bed and patting the spot beside her. Jaden sat with a sigh and Alcinia wanted so badly to hold her daughter once more. There were so few times that Jaden could be her true self when so much rested on her shoulders.

"Lay it on me."

"You told the Exile of his connection to the Force."

"I didn't lie," Jaden said quickly and defensively then sighed. "I couldn't very well tell Zared the truth, truth, now could I. He'd have been here in a heartbeat, killed me, _then_ gone back for the keys."

"But he saw what you were doing," Alcinia told her as only a mother could when trying to correct their daughters behavior.

Jaden nodded. "I know. Stupid mistake on my part, I know that. I endangered Carth unnecessarily. I didn't stop and think that the dark side may have gained that much ground."

"Jaden, you also gave the Exile a weapon he can use against you. He knows of your . . . feelings for the Admiral."

"He won't come for him, if that's what they're thinking," she said looking at her fingers.

"Are you certain? You took Revan from him and Zared cared very deeply for her."

Jaden got up and wandered to the window. The hyperspace route was a blur as it went by and she imagined the sound of the ocean as the waves of the route crashed against the hull of the ship. It was soothing, so when she thought about Zared coming after Carth, the fear that thought would have brought yesterday wasn't there. Was she sure, Zared wouldn't come after Carth? "He won't," she said softly.

"Why?" Alcinia asked tipping her head as she watched her daughter. She wanted to spare Jaden the realization she was coming to understand. No matter how much a parent wanted to protect their children, there were some things they had to learn on their own.

As Jaden watched the route, she could no longer deny that the truth had always been there. She had desperately pushed it aside because she didn't want to lose the one constant in her life, his voice, but no amount of denial would change the outcome. Jaden turned to her mother, her eyes brimming with tears. "Because Zared knows I will sacrifice what is necessary to win. Just as he did," she reluctantly admitted. Her spirit plummeted with the final acceptance that no matter how hard she tried; she wasn't going to be able to save Carth; he didn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

"You almost did."

"Yeah," Jaden said with a sigh.

"Why did you take so much? His connection to the Force, to you, was almost severed."

Jaden moaned and sat in a chair in the corner. This morning, their clothes had landed haphazardly on the seat, where Carth had picked them up from the night before. "He's going to want to do this again. I figured, since the medical facilities were handy, I would take as much as possible now. That way, in the future, I wouldn't have to take as much."

"And you wouldn't hurt him."

Jaden nodded as the misery she was feeling at accepting his fate by her hand, began to ripple out from her. _There has to be another way!_

"I wish I could make this easier for you, daughter. It is difficult to love knowing what must be done, so that others can live."

"So how did you do it?"

"Choice and free will are wonderful things," Alcinia said softly. "Sometimes though, there is no choice when your needs are insignificant compared to the needs of others. I knew you would leave me the moment you were conceived. I had five wonderful years with you and I have watched you grow into a woman without equal. It may be vanity, but I like to believe that how I raised you in those five years, has contributed to who you are today."

"It has. Well, except for the brawling part," Jaden added with a wry smile.

Alcinia chuckled, "At least you learned to put away your clothes."

"Is that the 'pleased' part to this conversation?" Jaden asked with a sad grin.

"That's my own personal triumph. No, what you did for Morgana Onasi."

Jaden looked at her mother curiously. "But I broke a few rules to do that."

"You fulfilled her greatest wish and healed a soul that had suffered for so long. He will be stronger for it, and from that Carth and his son will be able to move past old hurts and forgive accusations. You healed the wound that was deepest, the one that drove him. Now, he can find a measure of peace and happiness."

_Just in time for him to die._ "After all I have done to his life, it was a simple thing to do."

"Jaden," Alcinia sighed again aching to reach out and ease her daughter's guilt, "You are not to blame."

"It happened on my . . . watch."

"Jaden . . ."

"Mother, I can't change what has happened, I know that. I'm powerful, but not that powerful. If I can help them, any of them, find some forgiveness or peace, then I have done them a great service. Whatever happens, however this ends, I want," Jaden sniffed and wiped her eyes, "I need to know that I gave them a second chance at their lives; gave them something to live for after I have taken so much."

"Then of all your companions, that leaves only Atton. You restored Katarr strengthening Visas path in the light, healed Canderous and gave his life purpose, and reconciled a tortured voice. Atton has accepted what he's done in the past. What do you want for him?"

"Less of a smart mouth?" Jaden answered with a smile then sighed. "He may have accepted what he once was, but he refuses to move past it and accept what he can be."

"That is a tall order."

"I know, and one I may not be able to fill. However, if I can get him in the right direction, then that will have to be enough."

"I am very proud of you, Jaden."

_At least someone is._ "Thank you, that means a lot to me. You did raise me well, you know."

Alcinia smiled sadly, "My time is up."

Jaden frowned and went to stand before her mother, "So, soon?"

"The Admiral will be recovered soon. You should be there. He won't be happy to see you bruised," Alcinia said desperate to reach out and soothe her daughters injuries.

Jaden snorted, "Badges of honor. I doubt he'd believe me otherwise."

"Be careful, Jaden," she said and silently added, _especially with your heart._

"Can I show you something?" Jaden asked softly with a childlike innocence. Alcinia looked at her daughter. She looked so guileless and so hopeful it broke her heart. She remembered that look whenever Jaden was particularly proud of something she had done.

"Of course," she said with a fond smile of remembrance.

"_Vita vis vitea_," Jaden whispered and a flash of light surrounded her. "It's one of the things I learned," she told her mother right before gathering her close. "I love you, Mom."

Alcinia's smile was stunningly beautiful as she held her daughter close once more.


	29. Chapter 28

_Hours_, for eight hours Carth floated in and out of consciousness while he relived every moment he spent with Morgana, remembering her touch, her eyes, her kiss, and her soft voice telling him to be happy. It was easier said than done, but having spent even that brief time with her, made him feel that perhaps now, it would be possible. She was happy, and maybe that's what he needed to know in his heart; that his failure to save her had been forgiven.

Between those moments of memory and consciousness, he experienced his time in the temple and didn't know where to start to unravel everything he had learned. Jaden was the one True Jedi, so did that mean she was the most powerful? Was she the 'boss' of the other Jedi? Then there was the legend and the keys. The Midiclorians told him nothing, only that if Zared found the second key it would lead him to the third, which meant back to them. What were the keys suppose to open? It wasn't the doors to the temple, and he saw no gates, walls, or anything else that would require a key. This was one reason why he always cringed when it came to the Force. Even being able to wield it brought him no closer to understanding its mythical powers or its unique language. _We are her strength. We are her weakness. Without both, she is nothing. Together, she is complete._ What the hell did that mean? Carth, in his gut, knew that was important, his thoughts were a tangle mass that caused his head to pound despite all the time he spent in the Kolto tank. He needed time alone to think, but he didn't believe that was going to be possible.

During one moment of consciousness, Bastila and Tuluk had been at the waiting room window. _You need to trust me,_ he thought seeing Bastila clearly concerned, and listening intently to what Tuluk was saying. At another point Kwyn and Atton were there, Visas came with Canderous and lastly Dustil and Jaden, who made faces at him when they realized he was awake. Good thing he had on a respirator because he couldn't help but chuckle at their antics. He wanted to demand answers from her but what would he ask? _What does it mean to be the True Jedi? What do the keys do? What makes you complete? Why didn't you let Morgana see me before now? Didn't those few steps prove how much she means to me? Why are you making me feel like a cheating cur when she's been dead for years?_

~~ _Those feelings are your own._ ~~

_Why am I still hearing the Force?_

~~ _Because you still share its connection._ ~~

Carth was distracted from his thoughts when the med techs came to drain the Kolto. An hour later, showered and once again examined, he was in the private room getting dressed. It was late, and he wanted to sleep, but there was something he needed to do first.

"What are you doing?"

Carth looked over his shoulder as he gingerly shrugged on his shirt. Bastila stood in the doorway. "What do you want?" he asked looking away from her. Their conversation from the morning was still fresh in his mind and it _hurt_ him that she wouldn't trust that he knew what he was doing.

"The doctor said you refused to stay the night for observation."

"I'm fine."

"You are not fine," she said coming into the room and touching his arm, "you suffered cell degeneration."

Carth looked over at her and shook his head before reaching for his jacket. "I'm sleeping in my own bed."

Bastila watched as he put on the coat. He was pale, exhausted and still in pain, each movement causing a wince. One of the things she loved about Carth was his strength and to see that slowly drained from him was breaking her heart. His stubbornness was always a sore point with her, but it was costing him his life and she couldn't stand by and do nothing. "How much more will you endure before you admit she is killing you? Admit she is a Sith?"

Carth turned around to answer Bastila and saw Jaden leaning against the doorjamb, her arms and ankles crossed, her jaw a colorful display and her lip swollen on the left side. He cocked a brow at her.

"I beat up Canderous," she said with a painful, distorted smile.

Hearing Jaden's voice, Bastila spun around and demanded, "What are you doing here? Haven't you done enough?"

Carth walked around Bastila and stopped next to Jaden. He reached out and lightly touched her chin. She held his gaze as his gentle touch spread warmth though her body easing the aches and pains. "Play nice?" he asked and Jaden nodded. "I need to talk to Dustil." She nodded again. Carth turned to his friend, at least he hoped she was still his friend despite their differences in this matter, "Trust me, Bastila, she's not Sith," he said before running the back of his fingers over her jaw before walking away.

~~ _You told him?_ ~~

~~ _Only that you are the one True Jedi._ ~~

* * *

Dustil's quarters were with the other VIP's, one deck below the officers. No one else ever used it; it was Dustil's even though he didn't travel very often on the Sojourn. Privileged because he was the Admiral's son? Sure, but Carth didn't care how it looked. Besides, some of the work Dustil did for the Jedi Council was sensitive. Having his own space gave him room to work and assured his privacy.

The corridor of durasteel and bright fabric panels was quiet as he approached Dustil's door. Most everyone would be asleep, and probably his son as well, but he couldn't wait until morning. Seeing Morgana only reminded him that her death and what happened after Telos still stood between them despite the fact they pretended it was behind them. Morgana's comment about why Dustil _really_ left the Sith brought the 500 pound Ronto clearly back into the room. He paced a few times before he hesitated once, drew in a deep breath, and rang the buzzer.

When Dustil answered, he was dressed in loose pants that appeared to have more holes than fabric, his shirt untucked, a shadow of a beard, and his hair thoroughly mussed from repeated raking by fingers. _So, like his father,_ Morgana's words echoed through his mind._ He looks just like me,_ he thought, _when I was that age. My little boy grew up,_ and that thought made him sad.

"You're out!"

"Yeah. Can I come in?"

Dustil pushed aside the surprise and stepped back. "Sorry it's a mess."

Carth smiled as he looked around. _Something's didn't change despite your age._ There were data pads strewn around on various surfaces and Dustil's main computer hummed quietly on the desk under the window. The quarters were similar to his, just on a much smaller scale. "What are you working on?" he asked shedding his jacket.

"Hmm? Oh, Tuluk," Dustil answered pulling away from his thoughts. His father rarely came here so he was surprised, and suspicious, he would come so late.

"Find anything?" Carth asked as he picked up Dustil's jacket, holding it close as he sat in a chair.

"No. He was an exemplary Padawan, Apprentice, and Knight and he passed the trials to become a Master with ease."

That didn't surprise Carth. The man was a model Jedi despite the fact Carth didn't like him very much. "Debt's?"

"Nope," Dustil said flinging aside the stuff on the couch and plopping down. "Far as I can tell, he sends money home to dear old mom."

"So, a dead end."

"Looks like it. How are you feeling?" He asked as nerves began to skitter along his spine.

Carth smiled faintly, "Five times my age, but I'm fine. Have you found anything on Force Joining?"

_You just spent hours in a Kolto tank and you're here to find out how to hasten your death,_ he thought angrily but put it aside along with the lie that came to his lips. "Not really. It's referenced as part of the legend around the Valley of the Jedi, but that's it." Dustil got up and rifled through the data pads on the desk until he found the one he wanted.

_He even moves like me,_ Carth thought watching his son.

"Here," he said handing the pad to his father. "There's some drawings but according to the story I came across, Force Joining is the most ancient of the Force powers. This historian," he said waving at the pad "thinks it's the one power that binds the galaxy together. He goes so far as to suggest it's the power that created life."

Carth scanned through the text and found the drawings. They were wrong. The temple didn't sit in a verdant valley but on a craggy plateau whose sides dropped into a swirling mist. The water surrounding the temple was missing and, he moved to the next picture, the towers weren't tall enough and the doors not that elaborate.

~~ _Pay attention._ ~~

Startled, Carth looked up. Dustil stood before him utterly still, his face frozen in shock. "I said that out loud, didn't I?" Dustil didn't move. "You should probably sit down."

Dustil crossed his ankles where he stood and dropped to sit at his father's feet. Carth's mind flashed to a younger Dustil, sitting at his feet, his little legs crossed, his elbows propped on his knees, his chin resting on his tiny fists, waiting for his father to tell him a story. He let out a gusty sigh as he scrubbed his face with his hands, "It was . . . incredible," he said behind them.

"Tell me," Dustil asked anxiously. The little boy was back, only he had grown up, and Carth missed it. Yes, the years, but he had been so excited to have his son back; he ignored the fact that Dustil had grown into his own. _The little boy is gone, MY little boy is gone_, he again thought with sadness. The familiar comfort slowly glided through his body and he realized it wasn't heartbreaking to accept. In fact, pride at the man Dustil had become, filled his heart.

Carth's smile was gentle as he reached out and brushed Dustil's hair from his face. "I'm not sure anyone one can know," he told him. Dustil nodded. "I guess I'll start with the valley."

Dustil's attention never wavered as his father explained what he had experience during the Joining, not even when he got up and poured them both an ale. He listened as his father described the temple in detail, what it looked like, the white flame, the dark mist that crawled its way down the walls, the Hall of Beginnings, the Hall of Ending, and what happened when he touched Jaden's symbol. Dustil was dying to ask questions but he didn't want to interrupt as his father went on to talk about Jaden taking him to Naboo and Telos.

When Carth finished, he drained his glass and rose to get a refill. He was going to need the shot of courage to get through the next part. Dustil was sitting on the couch staring into space. Carth topped off both their glasses and set the bottle on the table before he returned to the chair. "There's more," he said as he looked at Dustil's desk where a picture of Morgana sat in a place of prominence. When he hadn't responded Carth added, "Your mother said to tell you she loves you, misses you and is proud of you."

Dustil's eyes snapped to his. "What?" he whispered.

Carth sipped his drink, "We need to talk, Dustil. Really talk."

* * *

_For those that didn't believe in the fate or destiny the Force preordained, well, they were fools. An uncomplicated plan had become childishly simple with the arrival of the Ebon Hawk. Not only will the boy be delivered to the Exile, but Jaden as well. The knowledge of the Valley of the Jedi and his enemy in one fell swoop._

_~~ Think of the reward to be bestowed on those that aid in the defeat of his enemy. ~~_

_Ah yes. Serving the Exile then one day taking the title of Ruler of the Sith Empire. The reward was close; so close and the taste of victory sweet._

_~~ All is in readiness? ~~_

_Yes. The Council is divided, emotions are at their breaking point, the set-up is complete, and the messages ready to send._

_~~ You have done well. ~~_

* * *

Jaden left a sputtering Bastila in the medical center. She held her temper while the Jedi lambasted her about killing Carth, being a Sith and blah, blah, blah. It was the same argument over and over and Jaden was tired of hearing it. Bastila knew the truth and just flat out refused to believe it, so when shoving the over-emotional and snotty woman out an airlock crossed her mind, Jaden knew it was time to leave. But not, she let a small smile slip through as she walked down the corridor, before Jaden showed Bastila what her future would be if she continued down this path. Hence, the sputtering.

~~ _It was childish._ ~~

~~ _But not untrue, _~~ she responded with another smile threatening.

~~ _It was the least likely of a possible future!_ ~~

~~ _Sometimes even the smallest pebble, thrown in a pond, will create the largest ripples._ ~~ She bit the inside of her lip when she felt the Masters hesitation.

~~ _You mock our wisdom?_ ~~

Jaden laughed, ignoring the looks from the others as they passed. ~~ _No Masters, merely pointing out that sometimes a small thing can have the largest impact. You taught me that._ ~~

~~ _Now you mock our teachings?_ ~~ They asked but there was no heat behind the question.

~~ _Never,_ ~~ she thought with fondness. This was her life, the Masters her family. They had cared for her, taught her so much, put up with so much, she thought with an inward smile. Jaden hadn't realized how much she missed her full connection to them until she began to get it back.

~~ _Of all our children you are the most…_ ~~

~~ _Trying?_ ~~

~~_ … Incorrigible._ ~~

Jaden chuckled as she stepped on the lift that would take her to the officers' deck. ~~ _But never dull!_ ~~

~~ _Child . . . _ ~~ She felt their sigh.

Jaden knew she was being annoying so she told them, ~~ _Her current path is a dangerous one. If showing Bastila a future where she left the order will turn her from the destructive steps she's taking then perhaps some good will come of it._ ~~

~~ _And the Mandalorian?_ ~~

Jaden grinned when she remembered the look on Bastila's face when she saw a life with Canderous. Horrified didn't do it justice. ~~ _An embellishment, I'll admit. I was feeling peevish._ ~~

~~ _Child, you are stronger, but there is still danger._ ~~

~~ _I know,_ ~~ she thought quietly.

~~ _Be careful._ ~~

~~ _I will._ ~~

Jaden stepped off the turbo lift and wandered toward the observation deck where she found Atton sitting alone watching the stars pass by. She wasn't ready to go to Carth's quarters just yet, so she joined him on the small couch.

"No hyperspace?"

"They're bringing on supplies and crew."

Jaden took his hand and rested her head on his shoulder. "I know I've hurt you."

Atton looked at her with mild surprise. "I'll get over it."

"The same way you got over her. By cracking wise when your heart was just cracking?"

Atton stiffened and was ready to move away when Jaden squeezed his hand. "You're a good man, one of the best I know. It hurts _me_ to see you hide behind the sarcasm and snide remarks because you're afraid to face what she showed you is true."

"It's who I am."

"Part of it," she said tipping her head back to look at him. "Let go of the fear, Atton. Take the step that will make you what you are meant to be."

"And what is that?" he asked with a lazy smile.

"One of the galaxy's greatest Jedi," she said lowering her head and grinning, "with a smart mouth."

Atton moved his arm around her shoulders and they sat in silence. _It isn't fear that stops me it's disillusionment_, he thought letting his eyes close.

Fighting with the Republic against the Mandalorians had given his life a purpose when he was just a teenager on the road to self-destruction. He was a part of something that was more than just a matter of surviving day to day, this war would insure the survival of the Republic, and for the first time in a long time, he set aside his distrust and allowed himself to believe he was worth something. Revan had showed them that what they were doing would be for the greater good and Atton wanted to be a part of it. When Revan and Malak left, he went right along with them, blindly convinced that the Jedi were the reason the Republic was weak due to their inaction when the threat the Mandalorians posed was ignored. He grabbed every opportunity for training and found he excelled at assassinating the Jedi, ruthlessly ignoring the fact that he was nothing more than a murderer. He had joined the Republic Navy to get away from being a criminal, and now he was the worst sort, but the illusion Revan had created of a stronger Republic kept him going until he met the woman that would change his life.

_She wasn't stunning in looks, but she was beautiful and touched something within him, something more than just his love for her. Perhaps it was out of that love that the Jedi told him of his connection to the Force, that's why he had always been so successful as an assassin. Once that connection was known however, he would be trained as a Dark Jedi. It didn't matter that the term "dark" came before the title of Jedi; it was what he would be. Atton would become the very thing he was murdering. He didn't want to believe her and in his fear and anger, he struck her down calling her a liar, but before she died, she showed him what the Force could be, what her vision of the Force was and he realized it had _all_ been a lie. Everything Revan and Malak had said or done, was a lie. They had abandoned the teachings of using the Force for virtuous reasons and instead used its dark power for their own twisted objectives to gain what they really wanted: galactic domination by the Sith. Atton's last act as a Sith Assassin was to kill the woman who had shattered his illusions about life and more importantly himself. _

_His disillusionment led him to Nar Shaddaa and back to being sarcastic, untrusting and living a life in the gray haze of right and wrong. He played Pazaak, took jobs with the Exchange, and occasionally went legit. That's how he wound up on Peragus II. It started out as a legitimate mining position that went horribly wrong when he found himself mixed up with Coorta and his gang, and ultimately in a force cage where the Exile found him._

_Atton was thankful for the rescue and began to rethink his position about the Force and Jedi as he watched Zared over the months, but then Kreia threatened to tell the truth about his past, and Atton was faced with making a decision. He had told no one about what he was in his previous life and was surprised to find that he accepted what he had done and was ready to face the consequences of his actions. The decision to tell the Exile was taken out of his hands on Nar Shaddaa when a Twi'lek told Zared of his past. When asked about it, Atton was truthful, ready to be struck down for his murdering ways, so it was a surprise when Atton found himself forgiven and Zared offered to train him in the ways of the Force._

Yet, once again, he found himself wondering whether he had made a mistake in allowing Zared to train him. Atton could feel himself slipping further and further into darkness and it terrified him. This was not what the Jedi had shown him all those years ago. Atton was tired of always fighting his life, he wanted peace and as he lay injured and sliding closer to death on the surface of Malachor V, he thought that perhaps this would be the only way to truly achieve that goal. That's why he refused to accompany Zared when he left and why he fought so hard to live when Jaden stood over him with her hands on her hips and a cocked a brow when he asked, "Are you an angel?"

"_The last I checked, the Force didn't have angels."_

"_Too bad, cuz you certainly do look like one."_

"_Only you, Master Rand would hit on your savior as you lie at death's door," she said sarcastically._

"_It's who I am."_

"_Part of it, but I don't believe that's all there is to Jaq Atton Rand."_

* * *

Carth stared at the picture of Dustil and Morgana. He remembered taking it when they went to the beach before he shipped out, before his life had been shattered. He told Dustil about his encounter with Morgana, all of it, even her words about his feelings for Jaden. Dustil hadn't said anything, and judging by his shell-shocked look probably wouldn't for a while yet. Carth rose, refilled his glass, and wandered to the desk, picking up the picture. _Even after I found him again, I continued to see the little boy wrapped in a young mans body,_ he thought.

Dustil glanced at his father standing by the desk and returned to his thoughts. _Mom? Why had Jaden let his father see her and not him? He missed her too._ When he was pulled from her arms on Telos, he had screamed for her, ignoring the words of the young couple that had grabbed him. 'It's too late for her', they said. 'They had to escape before it was too late', but she wasn't dead, at least not then, and he never had the chance to say good-bye. Dustil tried to tell them that she was alive but his temporary saviors didn't listen, and the Republic had been to late, his father had been to late and he had broken his promise he would always be there for Dustil and his mother. He let his head fall to his hands and took a shallow breath. His heart was breaking all over again, and his carefully crafted walls crumbling. "How did she look?"

Carth continued to study the picture and Morgana's brilliant blue eyes and laughing smile. "As beautiful as she always did," he answered quietly.

"I miss her."

Carth closed his eyes against the cracking in Dustil's voice. "So do I."

"Why would she do this?" he asked as the anger he had kept at bay began to sneak through. "Why would Jaden rip open old wounds, when we've gotten past it."

Carth set the picture down and turned to his son. "Because we haven't. It's still the one thing that stands between us, and I think your mother knew that," he said sitting down again.

"What do you mean?" Dustil asked, his skepticism abundant in his voice.

"Jaden was only fulfilling a promise to your mother. She's not to blame," he sighed. "I think your mom, in her own clever way, knows that you blame me for her death." Dustil's sharp indrawn breath confirmed what he had known all along, but didn't want to admit. He watched his son and recognized the look in his eyes as one of someone trying to find a way to deny it. "There's one question I never asked you."

_Then don't,_ Dustil thought as he squeezed his eyes shut.

"In the time before the Sith landed and you were taken, why didn't you tell anyone who you were," he asked holding his breath.

Dustil jumped from the couch as if he's been bitten and went to the window. He could see the shuttles traveling back and forth between the Sojourn and the freighter not far away. At this moment, he wanted desperately to be on one of those ships and not here having to answer a question, he avoided for years. He wasn't even a teenager when the Sith came and it had been months before he told anyone his last name. Even thinking about being an Onasi made him remember the promise his father had broken and he allowed it to fuel his anger, to be what he drew upon to pass his tests to prove he was worthy of being a Sith.

In the years that past, the anger is what sustained him and kept the feelings of abandonment under control. He couldn't feel the emptiness and fear from being discarded if he was angry, so he made it a part of who he was and he learned to live it so well, seeing his father on Korriban brought it all screaming back. His anger was genuine when he and his father fought in his quarters, but then his father went and did something totally unexpected; he found the proof that Master Uthar had killed his friend because he felt she was holding Dustil back. Since then, he battled between the anger over a broken promise and his father risking his life to save his son.

"Dustil?"

Maybe his mom was right when she told his father to let go of the past to allow himself to live. There had been a time when Dustil and his father were closer than "bark on a tree" as his mom had said on several occasions, and he had missed that since his return. Many times he wanted to turn to his father for advice or to just hang out together and talk, but he always kept him at arms length because he was afraid to believe in his dad again. Now, he was faced with losing his father forever.

"You broke your promise," he said quietly but what he added ended in a shout. "I hated you because you broke your promise!"

The standard excuse popped in Carth's mind and he let it die there. Dustil was being honest so it was time for him as well. It didn't matter that the fleet was late in arriving at Telos. He had always promised Dustil he would be there for him and his mother. He looked at the picture on the desk. _I promised you that day as well. For years, I promised and I still couldn't keep it._ "I know," he said letting his head fall to his hands. Carth pulled the ever-present comfort closer, letting it soothe his battered soul.

"Dad?"

Carth's head snapped up. Dustil hadn't called him 'Dad' since they had been reunited and he never realized how much he missed that until now.

"I was angry and scared . . ." Carth went to his son and pulled him close. When Dustil grabbed him tight, he felt another part of him uncoil.

"So was I Dusty, and I've been unfair to you these past few years. You grew up on me and I missed it," he said with a hard swallow, "so I've clung to the image of my little boy not wanting to see the man he's become," he added quietly as a lone tear slid down his cheek.

There was more to be said but neither of them moved. It was enough, for now, that they had broken down the final barrier to retrieving what had been lost.

* * *

It was hours later when Jaden felt Carth's weight next to her on the bed. He didn't wake her or pull her close; instead, he thwacked the pillow a couple times and settled his head. When she felt it was safe, she looked over her shoulder and found the wall of his back, effectively cutting him off from her. She laid her head back down and reached out to find the voice. It was less burdened and fatigued, but for the first time in years, a thread of hope echoed at its center.


	30. Chapter 29

When Jaden woke, the room was bathed in the glow of early morning. Knowing Carth needed to sleep, she got up and silently crept from the room. She contacted T3 and HK and when they arrived, she put HK outside the door with instructions no one was to enter. Jaden double-checked the rifle to make sure it was on stun and ordered the droid not to change the setting. HK muttered about not being able to fulfill his programming but Jaden promised when they went to Korriban he would probably get his kill fix.

While she was placating HK, T3 had been busy disengaging the simulated day scenario and bypassing the comm-unit programming. Not only would Carth get some rest, he wouldn't have to worry about any incoming calls. Jaden had effectively isolated Carth and unless the ship came under attack, he would rest. When she was satisfied with the results, she made a quick meal for him, left a note on the stand beside the bed, dressed, and headed out.

Her first stop was Kwyn to ask him for another day before they reached Korriban. Jaden knew it was contradictory after stressing how important it was to seal the cave, but she was concerned about Carth and the others. They had been going non-stop for the last few weeks and exhaustion was tugging at everyone, but he had gone through two traumatic Joinings, and he needed to rest, so she was relieved when Kwyn agreed and glad she didn't have to mind trick him or something.

Next on her list were Atton, Visas, and Canderous to discuss what needed to be done when they reached the planet. She refused to answer their questions about the Joining, instead insisting on finalizing the plans. There wouldn't be much time, since she wouldn't be able to stay long. They had to get in and out.

"Why don't we just take the Ebon Hawk and go now. We've all been there," Atton pointed to Canderous with his thumb, "him twice."

"It could be a trap," Visas pointed out,

"So we take a couple of patrols with us," Canderous added.

Jaden shook her head. "I'm still not strong enough and the Sojourn would be too far away to help you."

Atton gave her a curious look. "What? A few days ago you were okay with that plan."

"A few days ago I was weaker, and I was never okay with that plan. You," she said pointing to all of them "came up with the idea to go to Spira."

"Only so you could rest," Visas said quietly.

"And I appreciate that, but please, for my own peace of mind," Jaden said rubbing her temple. She didn't want to rely on them so much, but she didn't have a choice and if being close by could help, then that's what she was going to do; pain or no pain.

"You're the boss," Atton sighed even though he didn't agree with her.

* * *

Jaden stood outside her final stop, her arms swinging back and forth in a nervous gesture she was unaware of. _Get it over with,_ she told herself and rang the buzzer. Would he be angry, hateful, accepting? What he was, was showered, and dressed with a fork sticking out of his mouth.

Dustil slowly removed the utensil and stepped back to let her enter. He looked different, like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, and although that made her feel better, but it did nothing to allay her nervousness.

"I, ah, figured you might want to talk after . . . and well, I can see you're busy," she said waving at the clutter around the room, "so I should probably let you get back at it!" she added in an overly bright tone. _Gizka! Why was this so hard? They had talked about weightier things before. But it hadn't involved his mother._ Jaden began to back out of the room.

"Is it the first power of the Force?"

Her hand froze as she reached for the door control. _His father spent time with Dustil's mother and the kid asks about Force Joining?_

"Joining. According to some dead and dusty Jedi historian, he thinks it's the power that created life. Is it," he asked and saw her shoulders slump as she shook her head. Jaden took a deep breath and turned to him.

"It's the power that . . . allows me to exist," she answered as she moved past him to sit down. "In about, oh four thousand years or so, a descendent of Master Vandar is going to tell a young man he's training, that the Force surrounds us, penetrates us, is what binds the galaxy together. The young man is skeptical but comes around to the truth of that statement after facing much adversity and personal conflict. In the end he comes to realize that the flesh is just a means to," she waved her hand, "make things happen, do things."

Dustil gave her a questioning look as he sat near her. Jaden held out her hand and he took it.

~~ _Child?_ ~~

~~ _It'll be all right. _~~

"What do you see," she asked.

"You. My room."

"Close your eyes."

Dustil took a deep breath and did as she asked.

"Vita vis Vitea," Jaden whispered, and felt a quiver run through him.

~~ _Now what do you see?_ ~~

When he opened his eyes, he found himself on the bridge of the Sojourn. Men and women scurried past as if he wasn't there, faint blue auras surrounding most of them. "Ah . . ." In the next blink, he was in his fathers room. Carth was sprawled across the bed, his feet pointing to each corner at the end, the pillow Jaden used hugged close. Next, he found himself standing in the temple on Coruscant, the Jedi going about their business. Finally, he ended the whirlwind journey back in his own room. "Jaden?" he whispered.

~~ _I'm here._ ~~

"Where?"

~~ _I am what surrounds you, penetrates you, what binds the galaxy together._ ~~

"The Force," he whispered with a comical squeak. He heard her faint words again and felt that strange quiver. Dustil looked around the room but couldn't find Jaden. "Where are you?" he asked.

"I'm here," she said from behind him. Dustil turned to face her, his mouth slightly open. "Force Joining is what allows me to do things."

"Makes you human?"

"Yes."

"But Dad told me you showed him where you were born."

_Dad?_ Jaden swallowed back the pleasure at hearing the word. "The first power the Midiclorians taught me was Joining. Yes, it's very ancient, perhaps one of the first powers discovered, but the power that created life? No. I've also learned the ancient language of the Midiclorians. The words you heard are what allow me to do many different things. It's also the language I use to speak with the Masters. They did this so that the things they taught me, would be easier to learn."

"So when you join with my father . . ."

"We become one. He is brought into my existence and when the connection is severed, I keep a little of what I originally gave him."

Dustil scrubbed his hands over his face. "So if you're the . . . Force, and you gave him part of yourself, what does that make him?"

"I'm its embodiment. As for your father, well, he's still your father," she said with a smile. Dustil sighed and sat down. "You know that a Force users strength depends upon how many Midiclorians can be found in their system. For instance, Master Vandar's race has a very high Midiclorian count . . . they all do, that's why many of them join the Jedi order and wind up leading the Council. Bastila has a high count, but not as high as Atton's." _Or yours._ "Mine? It's extraordinarily high and because of this I appear to embody the Force and can do many things the other Jedi, or Sith for that matter, cannot."

"Joining being one of them."

"Yes. I also see things that others cannot. What you just experienced is what I see when I'm . . . complete. Others need to meditate in order to experience that, and even then, what they see is sketchy at best. For instance, right now, Atton," she closed her eyes and reached out with her mind, "is running hyperspace routes in his head while he's pretending to work on the Ebon Hawk," Jaden snorted, "Slacker!"

Dustil grinned and asked, "Doesn't he do that to keep people out of his mind?"

"And most of the time it's effective, however, it won't work with me," she said with a grin.

"Because you're so strong," he stated.

"Yes. I am the strongest and I am the only one who can join with someone else."

"Dad asked me to find out about this," he said with a sigh.

"I know," she said with a grin. "I'd be disappointed and suspicious if he didn't. Your father leaves very little left to the unknown when he wants to learn about something."

"True," he said with his own chuckle then became serious.

Jaden recognized the look of worry in his eye. "Don't worry, you won't need to keep this from him," she said standing and patting his shoulder.

Dustil blinked a couple of times and shook his head.

"Any luck with Tuluk?" she asked as she wandered to the desk and looked through the data pads. He gave her a quick look

"How . . ." he shook his head again and took a deep breath. _Must be more tired than I thought,_ even though he felt curiously stronger.

"Is this your mother?" She asked picking up the picture and studying it. The beach was the same one on Telos Jaden had taken Carth to during their Joining. Morgana, dressed in a white wispy cover-up was standing behind a much younger Dustil, her arms wrapped around her son, her smile sparkling and her blue eyes filled with so much love, Jaden felt a pang of regret that she died.

~~ _It was her time, Child. _~~

~~ _I know, but that doesn't mean I can't feel regret. It's very clear that she loved Carth and her son._ ~~

"Yeah," he answered coming over to her.

"She's very beautiful," she said then looked at him. "You have her eyes."

"And my father's stubbornness," he said with a fond smile. "She'd tell me that when I wouldn't put away my toys or didn't want to listen to what she was telling me."

"Well, something must have gotten through," she said with a smile. "You're a good man, Dustil."

He returned the smile and took the picture from her. "Why just him?"

Jaden had anticipated this question and she hoped Dustil would understand. "When a loved one dies, people react differently. With some, there is sadness but acceptance; other people decide to celebrate the person's life instead of focusing on the fact that they are gone. Morgana knew your father would blame himself for her death, and you being taken by the Sith, because he wasn't there. She was right. And, although she accepted her death as part of life's cycle, it broke her heart to watch your father withdraw from his friends, _his_ life and allow his need for revenge to drive him, to make him wary of ever trusting again."

"But he got his revenge," he said quietly.

"Yes, he did, and all that left was an empty hole. He still felt the shame for his failure to help you and your mother. For years she watched as he pushed people away, questioned their motives almost to the point of being paranoid, and she could do nothing for him."

"Until you stepped in," he said as he traced his mother's face with his finger.

Jaden nodded. "Embodiment has its privileges," she told him with a grin, "so before the Midiclorians sent me on this grand adventure I found your mother on Telos and told her I would try to fulfill her wish, to see your father one last time."

"And you did. Knowing of your feelings for my dad, didn't that hurt you?"

"No," she said with a chuckle. "Seeing your mother distressed, hurt more than knowing that your father still loves her. She also had an ulterior motive and one that I happened to agree with."

Dustil gave her a sharp look but tempered it when Jaden raised a brow. "Our relationship. He said Mom probably knew about that."

Jaden snorted, "Oh yeah. She's quite . . . passionate when it comes to her Onasi men." She smiled at him. "She's always with you, Dustil," she put her hand over his heart, "right here. She's your connection to your father."

Taken at face value, that statement was meant to comfort, but nothing involving Jaden could be taken at face value and as he realized this, his eyes grew wide, "How did you . . ."

Jaden gave him a patient look as she pointed to herself with her thumb. "Embodier here." _And that doesn't take away from your own Force Sensitivity._

* * *

"Frustrated Request: Oh, Master, please allow me to change the setting on my weapon," HK asked the moment Jaden came in view.

"What happened?" Jaden asked as she approached the door. She and Dustil had continued to talk about his mother, his father, and his future. She even took the time to clarify some of the history he unearthed from the archives. _The things they came up with,_ she thought with a mental shake of her head.

"Explanation: The Master Jedi, Bastila, was quite persistent in wanting to see the Admiral. It took myself, T3 and General Lavek to convince her to leave."

_Trouble with a capital T,_ she thought and it was becoming a concern. _There is no emotion, Master Shan._ "Anyone else?"

"Continuation: The shifty Jedi meatbag, Master Tuluk, came seeking permission to take the queen to Coruscant."

Jaden frowned. There was something very wrong here, but she couldn't put her finger on it and that worried her. Although Bastila and Tuluk were upset for different reasons, she couldn't help but think they were related somehow.

"Beseeching Request: Please Master, if the Jedi meatbag Tuluk returns, may I shoot him? My protocols are all aquiver at the prospect."

Jaden laughed and patted his mechanical arm. "I'm sure they are, but no."

"Resignation: Very well, Master, my protocols will continue to atrophy from disuse."

* * *

She was still chuckling when she entered Carth's quarters and found T3 guarding the door to the bedroom. "Has he tried to escape?" she asked sarcastically.

T3 chirped and twerped that Carth had gotten up once, ate, mumbled something about an overprotective mother and her young, and went back to bed. Jaden shook her head and yawned. It had been a long day and exhaustion still tugged at her. After checking with Atton that the preparations for sealing the cave were underway, she took a long shower enjoying the hot water as it chased away the last of her aches and pains. Carth had once again sprawled himself over the bed and she was too tired to move him physically so she drew on the strength of the Force, moved him to his side, before she crawled in and found sleep easily.

Some time during the night, she found herself awakened by a gentle kiss. When Jaden opened her eyes, Carth was beside her lightly tracing the bruise on her jaw. His healing touch spread through her body and she could see the amazement reflected in his eyes as he watched the bruises fade and her lip heal.

"We're going to need to talk," he said as his eyes met hers. There was no recrimination reflected there, no suspicion, just acceptance, and that flicker of hope.

"I know," she said placing her hand over his as he continued to trail his fingers over the side of her face.

"But not tonight," he whispered as he kissed her with such tenderness Jaden felt as if she was drowning.

* * *

The following morning, Jaden woke alone but she could hear T3 and Carth in the other room. Their voices were muffled but she picked up that T3 was listing the results of various swoop races around the galaxy. _Never figured him for the racing type,_ she thought. She laid there listening as the conversation changed to include other sports found around the Republic.

~~ _You seem surprised, Child._ ~~

~~ _I guess I am. I've always thought of him as the stalwart soldier and reluctant war hero, not a sports fanatic,_ ~~ she thought with a grin.

~~ _He will regain parts of his former self because of what you have accomplished._ ~~

~~ _I'm glad, but you may want to hold off on the kudos just yet. We still need to talk about what happened during our Joining._ ~~

~~ _And by hiding, you only delay the inevitable._ ~~

~~ _I'm not hiding,_ ~~ she said petulantly but got up. She didn't want the seemingly innocuous conversation about sports to change to a more serious one.

When she emerged from the bedroom she found Carth, dressed in drawstring shorts and a ratty old shirt, sitting on the couch with his bare feet propped on the table. _Great legs, Onasi_. He brushed his hair out of his eyes before taking a bite of food as he watched the video of her match with Canderous. "There's food in the galley," he said as he winced when the video showed Jaden landing on her back. She cringed herself but said nothing as she fixed herself a plate and sat at the opposite end of the couch. Carth began to give her pointers, which she rolled her eyes at, but stopped when he watched her triumphant final match when she ended up sitting on Canderous's chest.

"Did you cheat?"

"No!" she said outraged as she pushed on his leg with her foot. He grinned and asked T3 to play the vid from the medical bay. At Jaden's groan, Carth captured her foot and held it in his lap.

That was their day; sitting on the couch and watching vids. Some were old, some the latest releases, and after lunch, they watched a few swoop races before both of them fell asleep. It all seemed so _normal_, Jaden thought as she made dinner while Carth set the table. Not once had he brought up what he experienced during their joining. In a way, she was glad, but it also made her edgy. Jaden knew he had questions, she could imagine them wandering around his head. As the Masters had pointed out, her inaction was only delaying the inevitable. With a breath for strength, she quietly said his name.

"Do you know, I haven't had a day off in . . . months," he said looking at her. "It'll keep one more day."

Jaden nodded with a small smile. "Can I ask you one question though? Did I leave the lights on?"

"No," he chuckled with a smile, "but the water's running."

After dinner, they accused each other of cheating at Pazaak and Jaden called him a geek, when he picked up a technical manual on some new gadget he had his eye on. Carth accused her of being a brigand as he tugged on the sleeve of _his _shirt.

"Brigand? Who uses that term anymore . . . besides you."

"Fine. I'll call it like it is. You're a shirt thief!" he said with a grin.

"Fine," she spit out childishly as she yanked his shirt over her head, and then squealed with laughter when Carth grabbed her close.

"You don't play fair," he growled.

* * *

Carth opened his eyes and stretched carefully so he wouldn't disturb Jaden, who was softly snoring beside him. _What would the galaxy say if they knew the One True Jedi snored, _he thought with a grin that slowly faded. His 'one more day' had passed and it was time to face reality once again.

They would be approaching Korriban by now and as soon as the cave was sealed, he and Jaden would need to talk about what this all _really_ meant and what the next steps would be. Carth reluctantly got up, went to the shower letting his thoughts wander as he turned on the water, and stepped in. _He had already decided he wasn't going to ask about Morgana. It was a gift and there was no way he would question it. He didn't care, he only knew he had been given the opportunity to see her one more time and to learn that she was fine and didn't blame him for what had happened. He recognized now, how burdensome his soul had been since she died, and while he was still saddened, he no longer felt that heavy cloying feeling that sometimes threatened to take over. _ He stuck his head under the water. _And Dustil? They were finally on the path back to the relationship they once shared. Would it ever be the same? He doubted it, but it could be so much more. Another gift I didn't intend to question. _

Carth knew Jaden and Dustil had spent time together yesterday. She hadn't isolated him nearly as much as she thought, but he wasn't going to complain. As he told her, he hadn't had a day off in months . . . closer to years, and he appreciated her efforts, but she had forgotten about his personal communicator so he still knew everything that was going on. His second in command had been surprised when he contacted him. Kwyn told him of Jaden's plan, and Carth promised him a week off to keep his mouth shut about the fact that he knew.

He'd fervently hoped that she wouldn't push the issue of talking about the Joining, when Jaden called his name as she was making dinner. She accepted his reason, but now it was another day and he reluctantly acknowledged it was time to get back to work. They would sit down later and have that talk.

He toweled off, went to his closet, and sighed. _Thank the Force it isn't food, or I'd starve,_ he thought with a shake of his head. He pushed aside his uniforms and Republic issued armor and reached for his custom made lightweight version. _How could one woman go through so many shirts? I'm going to have to search her bags at some point to get my clothes back._ Once dressed, he tugged a long duster-style coat from the hanger, grabbed his boots, and went to the living room to check in and eat breakfast.

* * *

"Jaden? Sweetheart, vacation's over." She opened her eyes to find Carth, down on his haunches, next to the bed. "We're coming up on Korriban. I sent for Vandar."

"Thanks," she whispered.

"I need to head for the Ebon Hawk," he told her quietly as he brushed the hair from her face. _Yesterday he was so relaxed and rested._ Today, the soldier was back and although that was his core, it pained her to see. She hoped the Masters were right, that he would regain some of his former self. She hadn't known that part of the voice, but based on conversations with Kwyn and Dustil she could picture a man that really enjoyed life, his sense of humor, and was much more relaxed. "If this gets to be too much, I gave Kwyn orders to get you out of here. We can rendezvous with the Sojourn when this is done."

Jaden sat up, pulling the sheet close as a tendril of pain etched its way down her spine. "I'll be fine," she lied smoothly.

Carth dressed in lightweight black armor, stood and shrugged into a long, well-worn tan leather coat that reached his calves. He shoved his blasters into the holsters tied to his legs and clipped his saber to his belt. His hair was still damp and mussed and scruffy stubble covered his chin.

"You look like a scoundrel," she said with a smile. _A very handsome scoundrel._ "Not the Admiral Onasi we all know and love, the one that strikes fear in the hearts of his enemy."

"The poster boy for the Republic?" he snorted. "Want to know a secret?" He said with a sly smile as he turned to her.

"You moonlight as a raider in your spare time?"

He shook his head. "I hate uniforms."

"Is that why your closet is full of . . . 'normal' clothes?"

"Well, it was until _you_ got here," he said pointing to her trying to look stern, but there was laughter gleaming in his eyes.

Jaden grinned unrepentantly and took his hand. "Be careful."

"We will," he said with a quick kiss. "Don't argue with Kwyn if Vandar or Visas says it's time to leave."

"I'll be fine. Go, get this over with."

"We'll talk when I get back," he said over his shoulder before leaving the room.

"Yippee! Can't wait! Looking forward to it," she mumbled as she let herself tip over on the bed and winced.

~~ _You take a great risk by being this close, Child._ ~~

~~ _I know, but I feel I need to be here in case there is trouble. Can you tell me anything?_ ~~

~~ _No, Child, we cannot. All is quiet, but the dark side gains strength and that makes it difficult to detect danger._ ~~

* * *

Jaden was still eating breakfast when Vandar and Visas arrived.

"Is it too soon, Master?" he asked as he stepped past T3 and into the room. Jaden exchanged a quick look with Visas and shook her head, thankful that some of the throbbing ache subsided.

"I'm not your Master. You don't need to refer to me as such."

"But you are the strongest of us all, the Grand Master."

"Still, there's no need. It . . . makes me feel old," she said with a grin.

"Old?" Vandar chuckled. "When you reach my age, then you can talk to me about feeling old."

Jaden got up and put her dish in the sink, "I'm allowed," she said, "to feel old. Besides, my . . . ah . . . couple thousand shared millennia beat your measly four hundred years."

Vander chuckled again and watched as Jaden sank heavily into a chair.

"Are you all right?" Visas asked seeing Jaden's face tighten with each movement.

"Yeah. It's much better now that you're here." And it was. The throbbing ache she experienced, as she got dressed, was lessening, but she still felt off-kilter.

"Do you need Bastila as well?" Vandar asked.

"Not yet."

"Very well then. May I ask you a question?"

"You just did," she said and felt Vandar reach for patience. "I'm sorry," she told him. "Even my own Masters find me . . . challenging at times. As for your question, why now? Why not before when the threat to the Republic was first detected. Since you're familiar with the concept of wait and see we'll skip that part except to say you were doing well, until Revan."

"We did not recognize that she and Malak had fallen until they left, taking half the Jedi Order with them."

_What,_ she thought;_ destruction of a planet and half the Republic fleet wasn't a tip off? We wouldn't be here if you had acted sooner. Zared wouldn't have ripped out a vital part of my existence, creating the wound in the Force. Carth's wife might still be alive._ "And you waited to long to act," she snapped.

~~ _Child, you are vulnerable and must watch your thoughts._ ~~

"You are right. We failed to see the gravity of the consequences," Vandar said quietly.

Jaden sighed and shook her head. The constant pain was making her over-sensitive and she knew she shouldn't take it out on him. The Force wasn't known for being forthcoming, hence the phrase Jedi speak. "I'm sorry, Master Vander. The proximity to Korriban is making me angry. Rehashing what is done is not a productive use of our time. Ask me what you wish and I will answer what I can."


	31. Chapter 30

Zared paced the large black and durasteel conference room, only half listening as Radha continued his explanation of the text from the artifacts they recovered on Tatooine. He didn't really care because the second key was in a friggin' asteroid field and if he didn't know any better, he would swear Jaden was behind its placement! If that damn obelisk wouldn't shock him again, he'd walk to the corner, where it sat pulsing charmingly, and kick it. _Stupid light side!_

"Youngling!"

"An asteroid field?" Zared shouted as he planted his hands on his hips and turned to Radha. The man was on the opposite side of the long table, his glasses firmly in place making his eyes look twice as large.

"You haven't been listening. It wasn't always an asteroid field but at one time a volcanic planet that suffered a great cataclysm."

"You think?" Zared snapped with a curled lip.

~~ _The man is a fool! Why do you listen to him?_ ~~

~~ _Shut up. _ ~~

"I feel your anger," Radha said and ignored the glare Zared gave him, "and yes, it will take time to locate the key . . ."

"If it even exists anymore," he mumbled.

". . . but it's not impossible. I have discovered that the items we found emit a certain frequency, that is why you had such a strange reaction to it."

_Strange reaction? It knocked me on my ass,_ he thought. "And why is that?"

"Youngling, you found her key."

Zared furrowed his brow and blew the hair out of his eyes. "Jaden's?"

"Yes. That key represents the light side. The energy it is emitting is high on the spectrum. I imagine, the key that represents the dark side will be low on the spectrum, similar to your saber when it is engaged," Radha told him as he searched through the artifacts looking for the one he wanted. "Ah, here it is. According to this text, before the six chosen ones were sent on their journey, each pair were told, in secret of course, which key they possessed and were given instructions on where to hide them."

"That makes no sense," he barked waving his hands in frustration. "What would stop them from getting together later and telling each other where they hid the keys."

"You didn't let me finish. Patience, youngling."

"The Sith aren't known for their patience. That's a Jedi trait," he sneered.

"Of which you once were!" Radha snapped thinking how annoying and childish Zared could be at times. "Now, after they hid the keys, they were to return to the Valley of the Jedi, but according to this, Helig, the dark side of the pair, tried to . . ." He was interrupted and frowned at the weasely Captain Balla who hurried into the conference room as if a pack of Kath hounds were on his tail. Radha could barely tolerate the man. Balla was arrogant and vicious to the crew when he was away from Zared, but when he was around the Dark Lord, the man couldn't lick his boots enough. It was a wonder his tongue wasn't stained black. He wasn't a True Sith, having served with Revan when she arrived at the Sith home world, and his allegiance to Zared was dubious at best.

"Milord! It is vital that I speak with you."

"What is it?" Zared turned from Radha and watched as Captain Balla hurried to his side.

"We've received a message, Milord," Balla said bowing then standing at attention.

"Well?" he demanded when Balla just stood there and gave a hesitant look at the historian. "Out with it!"

"It is from someone claiming to be a Darth Mors," Balla said softly still unsure the old man should be here, after all this was military business. He turned his back to Radha and lowered his voice even more. "He claims he has the boy, Milord."

Zared froze and the floor shifted once beneath their feet. "What?" he asked with soft, deadly precision. Balla licked his lips before handing him the datapad.

"Boy? What boy?" Radha asked.

~~ _At last! The Valley is within our grasp!_ ~~

The deck went from shifting to rumbling as Zared's anger grew while he read the message.

~~ _This Darth Mors is efficient. Not only the boy, but your enemy as well._ ~~

"Youngling," Radha said reaching out and taking Zared's arm. "What boy? What is going on?"

"When did this arrive?" He asked ignoring the old man.

"A few minutes ago. I came as soon as we received it," Balla said with some importance.

Radha took the datapad, read the message, and gasped. "No, this can't be right," he whispered as he turned toward the table, his myopic eyes blinking rapidly.

"Damn it! I gave orders . . ."

~~ _Your order means nothing. Darth Mors sees the wisdom in taking the boy. Now HE has the knowledge of the Valley of the Jedi. You squandered your opportunity for success!_ ~~

~~ _Shut up!_ ~~ Zared screamed at the dark voices. ~~ _You're responsible for this, aren't you?_ ~~

~~ _Of course, we are,_ ~~ they snapped, ~~ _Victory at all costs._ ~~

~~ _You defy me? _~~

~~ _You are angry . . . good. Use that anger to take your rightful place in the Valley of the Jedi. Rule the galaxy as you are meant to!_ ~~

"Youngling, if this is correct, the boy . . ." Radha said looking at Zared who stood ramrod stiff, his eyes flashing with rage.

"I want three squads left behind to help the science vessel. They can search for the key, then turn this fracking ship around!"

"Youngling, the boy . . ."

"To where Milord?" Balla asked although he already knew the answer.

"Korriban. Now, Captain Balla," he shouted since in the last millisecond the man hadn't moved.

"Yes, Milord," Balla said snapping to attention.

"Zared, the boy . . ." Radha tried again, but he wasn't listening as he stormed out of the conference room. " . . . could be a descendent of Isano, the man that buried the light side key."

Isano was the name of the Jedi that had written the diary of the travels of he and Helig. After Helig had struck him down and left him for dead, a settler had found Isano and nursed him back to health. He didn't return to the Valley of the Jedi thinking it more important to protect the key. His assumption was right and he destroyed Helig when he returned to claim it. However, Isano died of a mysterious illness shortly after sending his young wife and their son away from Tatooine. _Could it be,_ he thought, _that Isano changed the name to protect the wife and son?_

* * *

Dustil whimpered against his protesting muscles as he was unceremoniously thrown to the hard floor. He had been headed to the small chamber the Jedi used aboard the Sojourn when a hood had been thrown over his head. He was so taken by surprise; he didn't have the chance to fight back before everything went black. The hood was still in place, and although he could breathe, the stench of the sack was foul, smelling of excrement and other unpleasant odors; he didn't want to think about. On top of that, he sported a neural disrupter around his neck.

"Awake at last, I see."

Dustil turned his head trying to find the direction the voice was coming from, but his hands and feet were tightly bound so moving was difficult. "Who are you? What do you want with me?"

"My name is Darth Mors and what I want is fairly obvious, is it not?"

_Darth Mors?_ He had never heard of a Sith by that name. The tone of voice was vaguely familiar but he couldn't place it. It was much deeper but there was something about it . . . _Great going, Onasi,_ he thought, _once again you're in the hands of the Sith._

"Soon my master will arrive and together we will learn the location of the Valley of the Jedi."

"Master? General Zared? But he promised . . ." The maniacal chuckling made his flesh crawl and notched his fear up one level.

"Fools! All of you, to believe my master would make, let alone keep such a promise. No, he will arrive and I will be twice rewarded, first for handing over you and secondly for delivering his greatest enemy."

_Jaden!_ Dustil battled back the spike of panic and anger. He needed to stay calm if he was going to find a way out of this. Despite the foul stench, he took shallow calming breaths and thought of the things Jaden had taught him last year. He may not be able to use the Force against Darth Mors, but that didn't mean he couldn't draw on its lessons to help him. "Where are we?"

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. I'm surprised you don't recognize your old home at the academy."

_Good_, he thought, at least they weren't on a ship, but that may have been better. Jaden wouldn't be able to step foot on Korriban with her issue of maintaining her balance, but that didn't mean the entire Republic fleet couldn't. His father would realize he was missing and come after him. Now, all he had to do was find a way to stall Darth Mors. "You're mistaken if you think Jaden will come for me."

"Oh, I don't think so."

"She won't give up the Valley of the Jedi. Jaden will sacrifice what she needs to, to protect it," Dustil said.

"She will come, if for no other reason than to keep her lover happy. So, shall we get started?" The sinister voice echoed around him. _Uh-oh,_ Dustil thought right before he buried his head in his hunched shoulders to protect himself from the Force Lightning.

* * *

Something was wrong, Jaden thought as she shared lunch with Vandar, Visas, and Kwyn. It was taking too long; they should have been back by now. Kwyn told her Carth had checked in right before he came here and everything was fine.

So far, once Vandar and Visas had shown up, Jaden had been okay, suffering only a persistent ache. She knew it was Vandar that was shouldering the majority of the discomfort, but he said nothing. Jaden was drawing a great deal of the light side from him and it was beginning to show on his face. Perhaps it was time to get Bastila.

~~ _Where are they? What is taking so long?_ ~~ There was no way she could drop her guard and reach out to Carth. It would put them both in danger by distracting him and hurting her.

~~ _We sense . . . a threat for all of you._ ~~

Jaden's head snapped up as T3 rolled into the officers mess agitated and beeping wildly.

"What the hell?" Kwyn asked looking at the droid as he raced in circles beeping and repeatedly chirruping of doom, but it didn't matter. He wouldn't get an answer as Jaden was already on her feet and heading for the door, the T3 unit hot on her heels.

Kwyn raced after her yelling for people to get out of the way but he was too late. The men who normally worked in the hangar sector were standing in the corridor looking confused. The door was locked, sealed, and all he could do was watch helplessly as one of the shuttles took off. He slammed his fist against the door and sprinted toward the bridge.

"Sir, a small ship of unknown registry just dropped out of hyperspace. It's headed for the surface."

"Damn it! It's a fracking trap. Raise Admiral Onasi."

* * *

"Take the controls, T3," Jaden said as she vacated the command chair. The pain screamed through her and she welcomed it as she did the anger. Both could be very liberating, she thought as she hooked her saber to the belt she found in one of the lockers. She wasn't exactly dressed for battle, but she didn't have a choice.

~~ _Is he dead?_ ~~

~~ _No, Child, his captor will not kill the boy._ ~~

~~ _Who is Darth Mors?_ ~~

~~ _We do not know. You risk . . ._ ~~

"I don't give a fracking damn what I risk!" She shouted as she stuffed a few med-packs in the side pockets of her pants. Who knew what she was going to walk into. Not only Dustil, but also what of the others? Were they injured, dead? She dropped her guard and reached out for the voice, absorbing the pain that assaulted her senses. Carth, at least was alive.

The Masters were silent and Jaden fought to calm herself. She was close to tears from both the pain and the sheer terror that threatened to overwhelm her. If anything happened to Dustil, death would be her only atonement. Jaden reached out with her mind. ~~ _I can't find him_. ~~

~~ _He protects himself._ ~~

Jaden buried her head in her hands, her breathing hitched as she collapsed against the bulkhead and slid down. ~~ _I heal the voice only to cause it more pain. Allow someone else to use me to cause him harm._ ~~

~~ _No, Child. Your efforts and your devotion for him will not be for nothing._ ~~

"But if Dustil . . ." she whispered letting the tears stream down her face.

~~ _Jaden, we do not wish to add to your burden, but the son's survival is vital to the history of the Republic. _~~

The Masters' use of her given name, told her how grave the situation truly was. It was akin to a parent using a child's full name when they were in trouble. "Great," she mumbled, "No pressure." And even as she said the words, she felt the pain lessen.

~~ _Child, because of this, we will protect you._ ~~

Jaden struggled to her feet, swiped at her eyes, and took a deep breath. ~~ _Thank you._ ~~

* * *

"Behind you!" Canderous shouted and watched Atton spin and take out the two Sith before they had a chance to switch off their stealth field generators.

They had landed the Ebon Hawk at the far end of the Valley of the Dark Lords and as they trekked across the dusty and arid ground, they were ambushed. Several of the Republic soldiers they brought along lay dead and Carth and the others were pinned down near Ajunta Pall's tomb.

Atton, saber engaged, was fighting them off from the left. Carth had the right flank, both blasters firing in rapid mode. When that wasn't enough, he would kick up his saber from the ground, engage it, and send it flying in a wide arc, taking out several Sith as it made its way back to him. Canderous and HK covered the center along with the remaining soldiers who protected their commanding officer. HK's gleeful shouts of 'die meatbags' and maniacal laughter could be heard over the sounds of blasters. The air was thick with smoke, the stench of burning bodies, and the moans of the dying echoing off the walls of the tombs.

Carth had lost track of how long they had been fighting and blocked out the cries of his men as he fired. The handles of his blasters were sizzling and burning his hands, but he couldn't pause since the Sith seemed to be coming in an unending wave. _This was supposed to be easy,_ he thought. _Get in, blow the cave, and go home._

~~ _Help comes, Admiral._ ~~

He heard the high-pitched whine of an engine in the distance, and could only hope it was the help the voices spoke about.

"One of yours?" Canderous shouted to Carth as a shuttle he didn't recognize flew overhead as it circled.

"No!" he yelled back as he slammed his body behind a broken pillar to avoid blaster fire. ~~ _If I die here, what happens to Jaden?_ ~~

~~ _Help comes, Admiral._ ~~

"Where the frack are they coming from?" Atton shouted. "The academy's deserted."

"Apparently not," Carth yelled back. ~~ _Why didn't anyone see this?_ ~~

~~ _The shroud of the dark side makes it difficult to detect danger._ ~~

"Didn't you scan the surface, Onasi?" Canderous shouted before he let loose with a barrage of cannon fire. Carth gave him a scathing look before he ducked, grabbed the saber from the ground, and found himself engaged in a battle with a Sith Assassin.

~~ _Focus._ ~~

Back and forth, they battled before Carth found the opening to disarm his opponent, before he ran him through.

"_FRACK!_" Atton shouted and Carth turned to see General Zared coming towards them from the left like he didn't have a care in the world. The battle continued to rage around them and they continued to fight as Zared grew closer.

"What's he doing here?" Atton asked as he made his way toward Carth. "Jaden said there wasn't a key on Korriban." Protecting Carth was his main objective now. Canderous and HK also closed ranks.

"So it _is_ a trap?" Canderous accused.

_Was it?_ Carth thought. _Was Bastila right all along?_ No, he threw the traitorous thought aside. Jaden was the One True Jedi. That wasn't a lie.

"I don't think so," Atton said slowly as a Republic shuttle flew low overhead, its loading ramp open. Carth and Canderous looked up in time to see the shuttle hover close, over the Ebon Hawk as Jaden dropped from the ramp to the top of the ship before she Force Jumped into the fray to land right in front of a startled Zared.

"You son of a bitch!"


	32. Chapter 31

Zared, stunned to see Jaden land in front of him, barely had time to take two steps back, engage his saber, and block her attack.

"You lied to me!" she shouted as she swung her saber low. He blocked the move quickly then pulled up sending her saber toward her shoulder. Jaden spun once tipping her blade down to block his next move.

"I did _not_ lie to you," he shouted back. And from that moment on, the match was fast and furious. Thrust, parry, spin, duck, jump. The silver of Jaden's blade clashing with the blood red, almost black blade of Zared, echoed across an otherwise silent valley. The guns of the Sith and the Republic were silent as both sides watched the two combatants put on a spectacular display of saber skills. Well, that is until one of the Sith sought to take advantage of the situation and fired at Jaden.

She didn't miss a beat as she deflected the shot with one hand as she swung at Zared with the other. But soon they were both deflecting shots, not necessarily aimed at them. In a surprising move, Jaden and Zared went back to back and sent out a wave of Force Push, knocking both Sith and Republic soldiers off their feet. "Do you mind!" they shouted simultaneously then spun back around and found themselves in a saber lock.

"You bastard! You gave me your word," she ground out between gritted teeth as she pushed against him.

"And I kept it," he answered with one final shove. Both of them stumbled back and began circling each other, their lungs gasping for breath. "I gave the order that Dustil Onasi and those on the Sojourn were not to be harmed!"

"Well obviously," she sneered taking deep breaths, "somebody didn't get the memo!" Jaden shouted before she made a lightning quick move. Zared reared back, her saber passing a hairsbreadth away from his throat.

He blocked her next swing with the saber in his right hand as he swung his left up to push her away and found himself defending against the same maneuver.

~~ _She weakens. Finish her!_ ~~

Zared grimaced as she pushed back against his power.

~~ _Use the power of the tombs. DESTROY HER!_ ~~

He could feel her weakening and the temptation to do as he was told was almost overpowering.

~~ _Good,_ ~~ the dark voices praised. ~~ _End this! Destroy the others; take the boy and your place at the Valley of the Jedi._ ~~

Zared hadn't intended to meet Jaden here, so when she dropped from the sky like an avenging angel, he had been astonished. He had come to release Dustil from this Darth Mors character but when he arrived, he found the Sojourn in orbit and a battle underway on the surface. His own men were still prowling in the tombs so these other Sith must belong to Mors and they were making a mess of things. _Damn Sith,_ he thought, _making him look like a fool!_ But, then again, it wasn't _his_ Sith, and in an instant he flicked his wrist and Jaden slammed against his chest, his arms her prison.

"Perhaps, Darling," he purred seductively, "you should look to your own."

"Let me go," she hissed between clenched teeth. The air crackled around them and the ground began to tremble. Men on both sides began to shift nervously.

"When I have you right were I want you?" Zared asked with a sly, sexy, lopsided smile and a wink. A breath later, the air whooshed from his lungs and he bent over in unspeakable pain.

Jaden ignored the collective groans around her as she stepped back and engaged her saber next to his head.

"Simple," she heard Canderous say.

"But effective," Atton added, his sympathy wince threading through his voice.

"Where is he?" She demanded.

"I was this close," Zared gritted out as he held his thumb and forefinger microns apart, "this close Darling, when I got the message."

~~ _He speaks the truth, Child. He is innocent in this._ ~~

"Jaden, what the hell is going on?" Carth shouted his blasters still at the ready.

Slowly, she lowered her blade and stepped back.

Zared, still bent over and breathing heavily, looked at Carth. "Someone by the name of Darth Mors has your son."

Jaden stiffened against the sudden shiver that raced through her body, then ruthlessly blocked out the voice that had abruptly gone cold and bitter.

* * *

Ever since Carth saw Jaden drop from the shuttle and face the Exile, his system had shut down. He fought to battle back the fear that paralyzed him, but he failed and every time Zared's blade came close to Jaden, he silently screamed. It wasn't until one other the Sith soldiers fired at her that he suddenly came alive enough to put a blaster bolt through the man's skull. All hell had broken loose then and he received his second shock, Jaden and Zared, in concert, had protected each others back and pushed the Republic and Sith soldiers off their feet. The shouting and the name-calling boosted his panic up one level. Jaden wasn't strong enough to defeat Zared and it was evident in each flinch as they pushed against each other until suddenly she was in Zared's arms. His heart stopped, his stomach dropped to his feet, and his lungs constricted. Carth couldn't hear what they were saying and it wasn't until Jaden kneed Zared in the groin that his system jolted back. Now, he had received his third shock in the last few minutes; someone had Dustil.

"Shutta!" Atton yelled as he engaged his saber. At his first step, Carth's arm shot out in front of him.

"He's mine," he snapped out.

"Stop it, both of you," Jaden said as she disengaged her saber.

"Damn it, Jaden! He has my son."

"No, Darth Mors has your son," Zared said, still bent over, alternating between having his hands and his forearms against his knees. "Darling, a little help here. I would like to be able to defend myself."

Jaden walked over to him and bent down so they were eye level. "You are such a baby," she sneered but waved her hand and healed him. Zared took a couple of deep breaths and gingerly stood up. "Now start talking!" she said as she paced in front of him, keeping herself between Zared and the others. Soldiers on both sides had their weapons at the ready.

"Atton, Mandalore," he acknowledged before shifting his gaze to Carth. "Admiral Onasi."

Each word was spit out with precision. "Where is my son?"

"As I said, I was this close," he again put his thumb and forefinger a micron apart, "to finding the second key when I received a message."

"What message?" Atton demanded.

"This close," Zared mumbled softly with his hand in front of Jaden's face. She rolled her eyes, snorted, and shoved his hand away. He crossed his arms over his chest and went on. "The message was from someone calling himself Darth Mors. He stated he had Dustil and to meet him on Korriban where I would find an added bonus," he said with a lip curl. "I can only assume he meant you."

Jaden narrowed her eyes at him. Although the Masters were keeping the worst of the pain at bay, the anger was hers and she embraced it. "Who is he?" she asked as she paced away from him.

"I don't know," he said simply.

Jaden spun on her heel and took hurried steps toward Zared until they were toe to toe. "You're the leader of the Sith Empire and you don't know your own Dark Lords!" she accused as she shouted in his face.

"Look to your own, Jaden!" he yelled right back as he put his hands on his hips and leaned forward, his eyes flashing.

"I know who belongs to me!"

"Do you? The message was sent from the Sojourn!" Zared quickly grabbed her as she stumbled backward in shock and unspeakable pain of another sort. "I'm assuming you got a similar message; that's why you're here," he asked as he released her arms in stages. She was struggling for breath when the others, including HK, came up behind her.

A part of Carth screamed for him to take her in his arms but the angry, wounded, and cold side kept them at his sides. "Jaden?"

"T3?" she whispered as she shook her head not wanting to believe him. It was one thing for a Jedi to fall to the dark side, but to perform such an act of betrayal . . . "Liar!" Jaden shouted. The _CRACK_ of her hand across Zared's face echoed around the silent valley. He stood stock-still, his face turned to the side, his jaw on fire.

~~ _Destroy her! How many more indignities will you suffer at her hand? She mocks you. Kill her and be done with it._ ~~

The ground began to rumble beneath their feet and Carth and Atton had their sabers ready. Zared painfully cracked his jaw and looked at Jaden. _She was magnificent when she was angry._ Her skin glowed and her green eyes sparkled with the emotion but he also saw something else flicker behind her gaze: suffering.

~~ _Fool! She manipulates you with false emotions._ ~~

~~ _Shut up!_ ~~

"HK," Zared said looking at the droid, "maybe you should contact T3 and ask where the message came from."

"Questioning Inquiry: Master?"

Jaden nodded once and turned from the group. ~~ _Why?_ ~~ She asked.

~~ _The dark side can manipulate those new to its power._ ~~

~~ _But whoever this Darth Mors is, is not new to the dark side, the presence of Sith soldiers proves that._ ~~

~~ _We fear you are correct, Child. A Jedi has betrayed you in hopes of gaining glory._ ~~

~~ _Who?_ ~~

~~ _The shroud of the dark side is strong and makes detecting this Jedi difficult. However, it is safe to assume that this act was not done alone._ ~~

Jaden turned and found Carth watching her, his face a mask of cold rage.

~~ _The betrayal of one, touches so many,_ ~~ she thought.

~~ _He is afraid for his son, and for you, Child._ ~~

~~ _How do I explain this, when I don't understand it myself?_ ~~

~~_ The truth is always a good place to start._ ~~

Jaden walked over to him. "I'm sorry. I came as soon as I found out, Carth."

He looked away from her and when she reached out and touched him, Carth felt a rush of energy flow through him. He gave her a quick look, as the image of the Valley of the Jedi flashed in his mind. He could feel the underlying pain throbbing through her, but he recognized it was being tempered by pure light energy.

"The Masters are allowing me to be here. They're protecting me," she said softly answering the question in his eyes. She didn't feel the need to tell him the reason they were doing this.

He tipped his head away, not knowing what to say when his comm-link went off. Jaden let go of his arm and a frigid sensation flooded his system once more. "Onasi," he snapped, all his frustration and fear evident.

"Admiral, we detected a ship of unknown registry headed for the surface, we think it's a trap. Jaden took off after it but we haven't been able to raise her and . . ." Alarms began screaming in the background. "Frack!"

"What is it?" Carth demanded.

Kwyn's pause was significant and when he spoke, his voice was quiet. "The Gehenna just dropped out of hyperspace."

Carth glared at Zared as he heard Kwyn's order for battle stations.

"I made a promise," Zared said sparing a look at Jaden while he shrugged, "and I'm here to see it through. The next move is yours."

Jaden pushed aside her sharp sense of regret and said, "He's not responsible for this, Carth."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Atton yelled coming over to her.

"He didn't do it!" she shouted, hating the fact that she had to defend Zared, but he was playing fair and so would she. She stole a glance at Carth who was staring at Zared.

"What's the status of the Gehenna?" he demanded ignoring everyone but the Exile.

"Her weapons are primed but she's just out of range of our cannons."

"I gave my word that no one was to harm those onboard the Sojourn," Zared told him. "But they will . . ." his smile was faint, "defend themselves."

"And the Admiral's son!" Canderous thundered.

"Reluctant Statement: Master, T3 has verified that the message originated from the Sojourn."

Zared's brow arched.

"That's impossible," Atton stressed as a frantic sense of dread raced through him.

"Not when it's a Jedi," Jaden said as she let her shoulders slump.

The silence seemed to stretch until it reached its breaking point. Carth blocked out the murmurs of the soldiers around him as he continued to watch Zared. "Stand down."

"Admiral?" Kwyn asked hesitantly.

"I gave you an order, General Lavek, now stand down!"

"Yes, Sir," he snapped.

"I'm taking an awful risk, Jaden, you had better be right about this," Carth said as he turned to her.

"It's one of my own," she whispered with a quick glance at Zared who looked rather smug.

"Lavek?"

"Sir?"

"Round up the Jedi, I want to know who's missing."

"Carth?

"One of the . . . fracking bastards has my son!"

* * *

Dustil lay still as death, his breathing shallow out of necessity due to his cracked and broken ribs. After the first few rounds of Force Lightning, Darth Mors had switched tactics and began, kicking him and tossing him about with the Force, like a rag doll when Dustil refused to answer his questions.

"You only make it worse for yourself. I would heal you if you'd only tell me what I want to know!"

Dustil tasted the blood at the back of his throat when he coughed from Mors kick to his already battered ribs.

"I understand General Zared is not as forgiving as I am. Save yourself further pain and tell me where the Valley of the Jedi is!"

~~_ I don't know! _~~ He screamed in his head, as tears mingled with the congealing blood covering his face. He wasn't ready to die yet, but if it would take away the hideous pain, he welcomed it. ~~ _I'm sorry Dad. I'm sorry I held back from you._ ~~ Dustil's body began to tremble and he felt himself slipping into the blackness that edged its way around his mind. ~~ _Please, Dad._ ~~

~~ _They come, young one._ ~~

Dustil blinked back the icy fingers that threatened to claim him. ~~_ Who?_ ~~

~~ _The Force._ ~~

* * *

_What an odd group,_ Carth thought as they headed toward the small canyon that lead to the Shyrack cave and ultimately to the Sith academy. After Carth had finished explaining the situation to Kwyn, Zared made some crack about the Jedi and he and Jaden started in on yelling at each other all over again. With a pounding head and fear guiding his judgment, Carth fired his blaster into the air. "Enough! My son?"

"The cave," Jaden said.

"The academy," Zared said.

They glared at each other.

After a few moments of the intense staring contest, Zared began walking away. "Commander!" he barked and several Sith, dressed in black armor de-cloaked around them."

"Yes, Milord?"

"Find out what you can from these . . . Sith wannabe's. If they're worthy, draft them. If not . . . release them to the Republic."

"Yes, Milord."

"What, no indiscriminate slaughter?" Atton quipped as he fell in behind Jaden.

Zared spun on his heel. "I can always change my mind, Atton." He said and it didn't take a rocket scientist to know he was referring to the Jedi's change of heart and staying behind on Malachor V when Zared left for the unknown regions.

"Come on," Jaden said as she grabbed Zared's arm and they started once again for the canyon. "HK," she added, "Activate all protocols."

"Happy Statement: With pleasure, Master!"

"Blood thirsty . . . traitor," Zared mumbled.

It was Canderous who gave a Republic captain orders to sit tight as he nudged Carth forward. "Come on, Onasi, let's go find your kid." Carth didn't answer, he was still fighting to get his arms around hearing that Dustil had been captured so he mutely followed Canderous and Atton.

"You know, you wouldn't be in this situation if you had some decent Masters on the Council," Zared told her, "Why isn't he on the Council?" he asked pointing to Atton.

"He's not a Master," Jaden answered as she continued to walk.

"And I don't want to be," Atton added.

"But you're a master at never taking that last step, never making that final commitment," Zared stopped and faced Atton.

Jaden backtracked a few steps, took Zared arm again, and pushed him forward. "Leave him alone," she said giving Atton a quick look.

~~ _He is correct, Child._ ~~

~~ _And that fear and inaction caused him to choose the path of the light._ ~~

~~ _That is true but even you have commented that the Jedi known as Rand is not fulfilling his true destiny._ ~~

~~ _Well hearing it from my counterpart isn't going to make it happen any quicker._ ~~

Zared bumped her arm saying, "I tried to do you a favor you know, but no, you had to allow them to regroup like insects that gather in the dark only to scurry away and hide when the lights come on."

Jaden shook her head, "The fear-me-I-am-the-all-powerful-dark-lord, is the Sith gig. Not mine."

"That still doesn't explain why Atton isn't on the Council, or why the Admiral's son isn't a Jedi Knight."

"I am not going to discuss Dustil Onasi with you," she said in a furious whisper.

Zared stepped closer to her and lowered his own voice. "We both know the kid only joined the Sith to strike back at his father. And that's the only reason the Jedi won't train him."

"Why do you care?" She demanded giving him a stern look.

~~ _Yes, why do you care?_ ~~ The dark, oily voices echoed with some confusion.

"I guess I don't," he said pleasantly with a shrug, "outside of making your last days less . . . stressful."

Jaden gave him a blank look and rolled her eyes. "There you go again with those delusions of grandeur," she drolled and heard Atton and Canderous chuckle behind her. She looked over her shoulder and found the three of them striding behind her. Atton and Canderous were looking around, staying alert for danger, but Carth was staring straight ahead, a hard look on his face. The voice was hard-edged as well and she reached out to it. Carth blinked rapidly and swallowed.

"Wait for us at the cave," she said stopping.

"What?"

Zared rolled his eyes and tamped down his disgust. "Come on guys, you can catch me up on what you've been doing the last few years."

When the three men rounded the corner, Carth turned to her. "Is it wise to let Canderous out of your sight?"

"He's not here for Canderous."

Carth narrowed his eyes. "Don't you dare defend him to me!"

"Zared is many things, most of them vile, but when he gives his word he keeps it. Always has, always will," Jaden told him with a steady gaze.

"I suppose you would know, seeing how you're all . . . chummy, _Darling_," he snapped and took a step around her but Jaden moved as well, blocking his path.

"Are we back to that?" She asked wanting to slap the contempt from his face.

"Yeah, I guess we are. You seem to be awfully trusting when it comes to him," he sneered as he pointed over her shoulder.

"And there was a time you blindly followed him into battle," she snapped.

~~ _Child!_ ~~

Carth staggered back into the canyon wall as if he'd been struck, his hands fisting in his hair. _What is happening to me? She's here to help, at great risk to herself, and I lash out at her?_

Jaden went to him and pulled his head to her shoulder whispering, "I'm sorry," as he gulped deep, dragging breaths of air. "I'm sorry, Carth. This place . . ." she said pushing back the dark side that was fighting for a greater purchase within her. "We're both scared for Dustil. Sniping at each other isn't going to help."

"This is where I found him," he said raising his head and looking at her, "I can't lose him here. I just got him back!"

Jaden placed her hand on his face letting her thumb caress his cheek. His look was one of anguish, but there was also a terrible anger radiating from him. "We'll find him. This Darth Mors won't kill him, Dustil needs to be alive to be of any use."

* * *

~~ _Why do you hesitate? You have your enemy within your grasp, the boy and now she leaves one of the keys unprotected! Strike down the Jedi. Take what is yours._ ~~

Zared yawned, ~~ _You're boring me again._ ~~

~~ _And you anger us with your constant inaction!_ ~~

~~ _You will not dictate to me. I am no longer a Jedi and you simply exist to do my bidding. I control you, not the other way around!_ ~~

~~ _Then use us! You have yet to ask why she is here. You let your pride stand in the way of finding answers, of seeking your enemy's weakness._ ~~

~~ _I know her weakness and when I possess all three keys I will exploit it. Do not doubt me again!_ ~~

~~ _And her weakness?_ ~~

Zared watched as Carth and Jaden came around the corner. ~~ _Her compassion and her faith in her friends._ ~~

The dark voices chuckled as they felt his anger intensify. ~~_ We can feel your hate, use it!_ ~~

~~ _Shut up._ ~~

* * *

~~ _You must rest, Child. _ ~~

~~ _I have to find Dustil._ ~~

The pain stole her breath and her step went out from under her, and as quickly as the throbbing came, it was gone. ~~ _You made your point,_ ~~ she thought as she sat next to Atton.

"Walking long?" he asked casually, leaning into her so that their bodies touched.

~~ _Better?_ ~~

~~ _Child, we can block the pain but your physical self deteriorates._ ~~

"You all right?" Atton muttered softly.

Jaden nodded and looked at the cave. There was no way she would be able to enter to search for Dustil and she couldn't send the others, it would be too risky. She knew Zared was watching her closely and the phrase 'show no weakness' took on a new meaning.

"So, what does the key look like?" She asked hoping to distract him.

"Again, Darling, stupid isn't a good look for you," he snapped as he watched her closely. She was up to something.

"Why does everyone assume I know what these things look like?" She snapped right back glaring at him.

Zared cocked a dark brow. "You really don't know," he snorted with disbelief.

"They've been hidden for a few thousand years," she said with a sneer.

"Fine," he snapped and drew a picture in the dirt with his finger. "Radha said it was yours."

"Who's Radha," Canderous asked as he leaned over to look at the drawing. _I'm supposed to know about this?_ He didn't have a clue.

"His historian," Jaden answered looking at the crude rendering. "My key?"

"That's what he said. The light side key was on Tatooine."

"How did he know which key," Carth asked sitting across from him and looking at the drawing. Something was tickling at the back of his mind, but he couldn't catch it.

Zared blushed and looked away. Jaden grinned, "Cuz it knocked him on his ass."

He gave her a quick look and narrowed his eyes, "There's only one way you would know that, so what were you doing wandering around the dark side, Jaden?"

She saw Carth stiffen, his gaze snapping to her, but she kept her look impassive. "I thought I'd take a walk on the wild side." She gave him cheeky grin and added, "You're more than welcome to try the light,"

Zared rolled his eyes, "Let's get this done. I have a key to find."

"Yeah, well, as much as it pains me to say this, I think you're right," she said standing, "Let's check the academy first."

"Whatever you say, Darling. I'm not one to rub your nose in it." Jaden gave him a disgusted look.

"Atton and I can check the cave," Canderous offered. Jaden appreciated what he was trying to do but she shook her head. There would be time to seal the cave once Zared was gone.

"We don't know who might be with this Darth Mors, I don't want to split up."

"I agree," Zared said then smiled. "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, and all that . . . stuff," he added waving his hand as he began up the path.

About fifty meters up Zared asked, "What kind of name is Darth Mors anyway? It sounds like a snack you have over a campfire."

"You have a better one," she said looking at him, "Darth . . . Snookums." Jaden's voice was laden with syrup as she batted her lashes outrageously.

"Cupcake," he snapped, "That's Darth Cupcake, to you Darling."

_The man was absolutely stunning when he smiled,_ she thought. _Too bad, he's an ass._ She had forgotten how tall and well built he was. His dark hair, normally neatly trimmed, was a little longer, and gave him more of a rakish look. His blue eyes were as clear as crystalline water and his voice was made for seduction.

"How about Darth Delusional," Atton said.

"Darth Wannabe," Canderous offered.

"Darth Deficient."

"Darth Dini'la"

"Darth Farce."

"Darth Disaster"

Zared spun around, sticking his finger in Atton's face, "How about Darth I-just-end-this-now?"

Once again, Jaden reached out, took his arm, and pushed him forward. "Leave them alone, you promised," she said referring to their agreement to leave each other's armies alone.

"_There's_ a nasty habit I'll need to break."

Behind them the three men stopped, looked at each other and then the retreating backs of Jaden and Zared.

"You know who has a really good Darth name."

"Again with the Darth," she muttered.

"Him," he said hitching his thumb over his shoulder.

"Darth Atton? Say it fast enough it sounds like a girls name."

"Hey!"

Zared took a deep breath, and said "Noooo," with an over exaggerated sigh.

This time, Jaden stopped, planted her hands on her hips, and glared at him. Zared's grin was sparkling. "Don't you even . . ."

"Oh come on, Darling, what's better than Darth Carth."

Even the Midiclorians, light and dark groaned with the others. Zared winked as he grabbed her arm and pushed her onward. "So, how do you want to handle this," he asked still chuckling as they came around the corner and approached the entrance to the Sith Academy.

"Any word from Kwyn?" She turned to Carth and had to bite her lip. She'd also forgotten how charming Zared could be as well.

"No," he said then stiffened his spine. "As much as I want to, we can't all go barging in there. We don't know who it is or how many Jedi may be with Darth Mors."

"Traitors," Atton swore. "Are you sure?"

Jaden nodded once. She didn't want to face the fact that one of her own had turned on her, the Jedi, and had endangered someone she cared a great deal about, but she couldn't deny it any longer. She didn't lie when she said Zared would keep his word. His Sith would know that, so it had to be someone outside his sphere of influence . . . meaning a Jedi, a fallen Jedi.

"Jaden and I will go," Zared said then held up his hand to stop the protests. "I'm here because I gave my word your son would not be harmed. I intend to keep it, Admiral."

"Jaden . . ."

"It's okay, Onasi. Besides, he needs all three keys," she said giving his hand a quick squeeze as she smiled.

Carth watched Jaden and Zared disappear into the Academy. ~~ _She is safe._ ~~

He ignored the voices, his own thoughts splintering into a million different directions.

"They'll find him, Carth," Atton said placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Alive?" he snapped.

"How is it Jaden can even be here? I thought the pull of the dark side would be too much," Canderous said. When he didn't get an immediate answer he shouted, "Onasi!"

"The Midiclorians are shielding her."

"Only the pain," Atton said sitting on a rock. "Her . . . ah . . . trip? Jaden's getting weaker, I could feel it when she sat next to me."

"Yet she walks into a situation surrounded by her enemies."

"She is right though," Atton pointed out, "he needs all three keys."

"He has one, is this close," Carth said nastily mimicking Zared's gesture of earlier, "to the second and the third one is standing right here," he pointed to Canderous, before raking his hands through his hair.

"If I tell you to trust the Force, are you going to shoot me?" Atton asked with a hesitant look.


	33. Chapter 32

The air inside the academy was heavy, stale, charged, and carried the faint coppery scent of blood as Jaden and Zared entered the training room off the corridor to the valley. Zared held out his arm to stop her. Dust motes danced in the air, angry their resting places had been disturbed by their footsteps.

"For what its worth," he said quietly, "I'm sorry they betrayed you."

"I'll deal with it."

Zared gave her a quirky side-glance, "You're going to take away all my fun, aren't you."

Jaden's smile was genuine when she looked at him. "That's the idea."

"So, you want help with this?" he asked slinging an arm around her shoulders. Jaden gave his hand a curious look but shook her head. "What's first? The dormitories, library, or the torture chamber?"

She stopped dead in her tracks when they were about half way up the next ramp that lead to the rotunda. _Tuluk!_ Zared frowned then pushed them both into a small alcove, out of sight. "I take it you know him?" he whispered.

~~ _You are not to blame, Child._ ~~

~~ _Yes she is!_ ~~

~~ _I knew something wasn't right . . . in my current state, I couldn't see,_ ~~ she cried out silently.

"Jaden?"

"He's one of the Master . . ."

"I told you . . ."

"Shut up, Zared," she said glaring at him.

He studied her for a moment then ran the back of his fingers down her cheek. "All right. Stay out of sight. I'll go get Dustil," Jaden stiffened, "and then when we head back down, you can deal with Darth Mors."

"Cupcake," she said silkily, "one wrong move and I will end this."

"Darling," he said in a wounded tone before stealing a quick kiss and patting her cheek, "you don't have the keys."

_I don't need the keys, only what you took from me._ Jaden dropped all her defenses and watched Zared take a hesitant step, as she let the dark side surge through her.

* * *

Zared quietly walked into the round room that had served as a central hub during the heyday of the academy. Hallways, like spokes in a wheel, led to other areas such as the dorms, training rooms and the now destroyed settlement of Dreshdae. The last time he was here, he was on a mission to find the Jedi Master Vash, but she was already dead, killed by Darth Sion. He was ready to face the dark lord then, but Kreia urged him to run so he had after a brief battle. Although Korriban was a fringe planet of the Sith Empire, he hated this place. _Must go back to that senseless doom and gloom, death and destruction, line of thinking of the Sith,_ he thought.

Darth Mors had his back to him as he scanned the room and saw Dustil's body off to the side unmoving. The bag over his head was filthy and showed signs of recent blood stains.

~~ _Is he alive?_ ~~

~~ _So you have come to your senses?_ ~~

~~ _Answer me!_ ~~

~~ _Yes, the boy lives. The knowledge is within your grasp._ ~~

Zared crossed his arms and feigned interest in the nails on his right hand as he said, "This better not be a waste of my time."

"Master! At last!" Tuluk spun around and came to attention. "When time began to pass, I worried you didn't receive my message."

"I was busy," Zared scoffed.

"Yes, yes, of course. As I promised in the message, I have the boy, Dustil Onasi. He is an aide to the Jedi Council, a historian and has the knowledge of the Valley of the Jedi," he said hastily, pointing at the body. Whatever Tuluk was expecting, it wasn't the tall, good-looking man who stood before him exuding casual confidence. None of the ravages so common to dark side users showed on his face.

"And my enemy?" Zared said as he nonchalantly walked toward Dustil.

"She will be along. She has an . . . affection for the boy."

"Isn't she a little old for him," he snapped as he crouched down and began to untie Dustil's feet. Zared locked down his anger when he saw the shin of his right leg shattered, shards of bone showing through the burnt and tattered material.

"Master?"

"You don't mind if I check my prize, do you?" he asked as he moved on to untying Dustil's hands. There were more signs of scorched skin, the kid's wrists were raw, and bloody, the flesh so ragged in some spots, it showed muscle tissue. Darth Mors had clearly tortured the boy with Force Lightning and if Zared wasn't positive Jaden was going to kill this imbecile, he would.

_Fracking Sith butchers,_ he thought. _Torture of this level gained nothing! There were other ways to learn what you wanted to know._ Dustil groaned as Zared gently propped him against the wall and untied the hood. He could only imagine Dustil would have opened his eyes if they weren't nearly swollen shut and crusted over with dried blood. His lips were split and his left cheek was a bruised and bloody mess.

"What did you do to my prize?" he demanded with a sneer of loathing as he made a quick survey of the room, found the gear this idiot had, and pulled it over.

"I interrogated him in hopes of learning the location of the Valley of the Jedi."

"You almost killed him! A dead prize does me no good," he roared as he tore a strip from Dustil's filthy tunic and, using the water he found in the bag, wet it down. _Darling, you better hack this asshole to little pieces and prepare yourself for the wrath of Onasi, because the Admiral is going to go freakin' ballistic when he sees his son._ "Can you hear me?" he asked softly as he removed the neural disrupter from Dustil's neck.

Dustil's mind had been drifting in a fog as the sea of pain crashed against him like waves in a violent storm. Through his silent whimpers, he could hear the voice of his tormentor speaking with another but he couldn't make out all the words. When the new voice began to untie him he thought, perhaps, that maybe his dad had finally come to rescue him, and Dustil grabbed at the thin lifeline of hope, but it slipped through his fingers when he heard the word 'prize', and accepted that it was time to let go and allow the sea of pain to claim him. The Exile had arrived.

"Come on kid, or your father's going to die trying to kick my ass."

"Wha . . .?" he breathed and felt a cooling cloth wipe gently at his eyes.

When they slowly opened, Zared saw his flash of fear before the pain took over, threatening to send Dustil back to its depths. "It's been a while," he said flexing his fingers," but bear with me." He started by touching Dustil's head before running his hands over his shoulders, arms, torso, and finally his legs. The kid would need surgery to repair all the damage Darth Mors had done, but at least he was stable enough to get out of here.

Dustil was thankful as the healing power spread through him, lessening the pain, but he was also leery. "If you're only doing this so you can kill me . . ."

Zared cut him off with a sharp look. "I'm here to keep my word," he whispered harshly. "Killing you is the last thing on my mind!" He shoved the canteen at Dustil and told him to drink. Dustil fumbled a few times, his left arm, shoulder dislocated, and the forearm snapped in two, was useless. Zared yanked off the top and put it in his right hand.

"I don't," he shook his head slowly, "understand," he said after taking a drink of the cool water that soothed his parched throat.

Zared continued to hold Dustil's gaze, and asked, "Did you learn anything, Darth Mors?"

"No, Milord. His mind was quite resistant."

"I imagine he learned that as part of his Sith training," Zared said as he tipped the canteen once more to Dustil's lips. Dustil recognized the question behind the words and reluctantly nodded. Zared winked at him.

_So, it was true? The Admiral's son was a Sith?_ Yes, he probably went to far with his interrogation, but he wanted the added bonus of telling the Dark Lord that he had discovered the location of the Valley of the Jedi. It never occurred to Tuluk that Dustil might have learned techniques to block his mind. A queasy feeling began to curl in his gut. Where was Jaden? She was a part of this trap as well. His new master might not think him worthy of joining the True Sith if she failed to show up. _In fact, watching the two of them together,_ he thought, _you would think Zared was here to save the boy._

"Can you stand? We need to leave. I've heard enough," Zared said as he helped Dustil up and put his right arm around his shoulder. He was thankful the kid was so tall; otherwise, this could be awkward.

Tuluk began to panic, as he feared nothing was going as he planned. They couldn't leave yet Jaden hadn't arrived. "Master, what of your enemy?"

Zared chuckled, "She'll be along."

"Very well, Master. I will gather my things and come with you," Tuluk said as he hurried to grab his bag and follow Zared.

"Oh, I don't think so," he said as he helped Dustil take painful steps. "You have a lot to learn about the True Sith."

"That's why I have done this," Tuluk said hesitantly, "to prove to you I am worthy. I want you to teach me all that you know, take me as your apprentice."

"I would take the boy," Zared snapped, "before I ever took you . . ." he said turning around, "Master Jedi." There was so much repugnance in his voice the floor shifted beneath them. Dustil gasped when he recognized his captor.

Tuluk looked as if he's been slapped. The color bled from his face, and a shiver of dread raced down his spine to mingle with his nausea. "I . . . I don't understand. Tell me, what lesson should I learn from this?"

"_Never,_ break the word of the leader of the Sith Empire," Jaden said as she walked into the room, her saber in hand.

"Jaden?" Dustil whispered.

"Let's go, kid."

Her nostrils flared when she saw the damage to Dustil's face and body. Even through the blood and bruises, she could see his surprise. "Go with him. Your father's waiting outside."

"Oh, and one more lesson, Jedi. Don't piss off your master." Zared looked at Jaden and added, "Don't be long, Darling. You don't want the Admiral storming the fortress of evil."

* * *

Zared carefully helped Dustil sit on one of the benches in the training room. The boy was tiring and should have been comatose from the pain, but he was hanging in there and Zared admired him for that.

"Why are you here?" Dustil asked grateful to be sitting.

"Because I made a promise and that idiot up there broke it."

"That's not very Sith-like. Come to think of it, you're not very Sith-like."

"Why, because my eyes aren't opaque with rage, my skin pale, cracked and hanging off me?" Zared asked with a shudder, remembering Lord Sion. He crouched down in front of Dustil. "Trust me. I can be very Sith-like," he said, his eyes flashing red. When Dustil held his gaze he added, "You got guts, kid." Zared helped him stand and they began the slow, torturous trek down the corridor to the valley floor.

"So why aren't you a Jedi?"

"Because I was a Sith."

"Want to be again? I could use an apprentice, although Darth Dustil doesn't have the same ring to it as Darth Carth," Zared said as they made slow progress. Dustil painfully rolled his eyes and ignored him.

"Do you know where the Valley of the Jedi is?"

"No," he answered with disgusted resignation.

"One of the keys?"

"No."

"Jaden's favorite color?"

"No."

"You father's birthday?"

"No . . . what? . . . yes."

"Good. For a minute there I thought you might have a concussion," Zared said flicking a wrist and the heavy stone door began to open.

* * *

"I knew it all along, and this just proved it," Tuluk said pacing in front of Jaden, his saber engaged in his hand. "You're as Sith as he is."

Jaden shook her head. "More Sith than he is. Zared's a pathetic Gizka compared to me."

"Right," he snorted with disgust. "Then why aren't you leading the True Sith?"

"Who says I'm not," she answered as she continued to stand still, her feet slightly apart, her arms crossed. He saber glowed to the left of her while she kept her eyes on Tuluk.

"You have. You . . . claim to be the light side point in the Force. Tell me, does the Valley of the Jedi even exist?"

"What, torturing Dustil didn't give you the answer you wanted," she snapped and the floor rumbled beneath them. Jaden relished the quick spike of fear that came into his eyes and her smile was slow and wicked.

Tuluk engaged the second half of his double-bladed sword and charged at her. Jaden feinted to the left and blocked his wrist-flip swing. His outrage made him careless and sloppy and she had no trouble defending against both blades. Up, down, spin, block from behind, and her sidekick sent Tuluk flying across the room. His body thudded heavily against the wall before he fell to his knees.

Jaden casually walked toward him and held out her left hand. Tuluk grabbed his throat and found himself lifted from the floor. "Why?" she demanded.

"Because . . . you're . . . pathetic," he choked out and suddenly hit the ground. When he had recovered, he noticed Jaden had her back to him and with a sneer he shot out a bolt of lightning.

Jaden didn't even turn as her hand shot out and deflected the bolt back to him for a direct hit.

~~ _Excellent,_ ~~ the wicked voices praised.

~~ _Child, you must not do this._ ~~

~~ _Leave her alone. She knows what she is doing!_ ~~

~~ _You are the light._ ~~

~~ _You are the dark! Slay this insignificant creature, crush what stands between us, reclaim what the usurper took and we can be one!_ ~~

Jaden fought to ignore the voices echoing in her head as the pain threatened to become debilitating.

~~ _The voice, Child, listen for the voice._ ~~

~~ _DESTROY HIM!_ ~~

Jaden spun around quickly to block Tuluk's swing but the tip of his blade still caught her side and sent her to her knees.

~~ _Fool! You let the light distract you._ ~~

~~ _The light heals me,_ ~~ she thought as she slowly gained her feet. Jaden could feel the razor-sharp pull of the wound as she stood, but could also feel it healing.

~~ _Only so it can watch you die!_ ~~

This time Jaden was ready for Tuluk's attack and battled him back once again. "Why did you do it? If your battle is with me, why did you involve the Admiral's son?" She asked as they circled each other.

"And miss my chance for glory! He has the knowledge of the Valley of the Jedi and this was a way to prove my worth to the Sith Lord. While others believed your lies, I saw the opportunity to gain control of everything I ever wanted."

"So you turned to the dark side; joined the Sith."

"The Republic and Jedi are weak, the past wars have proved that. Only through the Exile's reign will an empire rise and be strong!" Tuluk shouted as he swung his saber over his head and lunged for Jaden. Again, she battled him back and Tuluk wound up skidding across the floor.

~~ _Draw on the strength of the tombs, you silly girl!_ ~~

"Then the queen?" she asked resuming her pacing.

"A favor to be collected in the future. But no, the meddling Admiral Onasi had her guarded. Another sniveling imbecile who sees the Republic with fuzzy vision," he sneered as he gained his feet.

Jaden's eyes darkened at his words and she pulled the darkness closer, letting the heat of its passion strengthen her.

~~ _He taunts you, Child. Do not give into your feelings._ ~~

~~ _Use your anger to defend your lover's honor!_ ~~

Her smile was wicked as she told Tuluk, "A fool who shares my power."

* * *

The moment the door began to scrape open, Carth, Atton and Canderous came forward. Zared frowned when he noticed a few Republic soldiers had joined the group.

"Dad!" Dustil cried out as he collapsed in his father's arms.

"Dusty," he whispered as he held him close.

"Watch his arm," Zared said as he carefully turned the boy over to his father. The uncomfortable thought of not leaving a legacy behind when he was dead flitted through his mind. Where that thought came from he didn't know, but it was clear Carth would do anything for his son, and the fact that Revan was willing to use and possibly destroy that relationship angered him.

"Where's Jaden?" Atton asked.

"Probably trying to turn this idiot to the light side," he mumbled as he sat down. He suddenly felt light-headed as if his energy was being sapped from his body.

"Who is it?"

"Like I keep up on the Jedi," he snorted then shrugged. "Shifty looking though."

"It's Tuluk," Dustil muttered as he immersed himself in the comfort of his father's arms. Carth's strong hand rubbing along his back chased away the fear and made him feel safe as the healing touch warmed him.

"Is anyone with him?" Canderous asked.

Dustil shook his head as he lifted it from Carth's shoulder.

"He must have left them in the valley," Atton said turning to look in that direction.

"Waiting for me no doubt," Zared said.

"To trap you?" Canderous snorted.

"Nice to see someone recognizes the folly of that plan," he answered then shook his head, "but no, he wanted to join me. He did this to prove his worth."

Atton and Canderous frowned at that as Carth ran his hand over the side of Dustil's face. "Captain."

"Sir?"

"Go to the Ebon Hawk. Get a stretcher . . ."

"I can walk," Dustil cut in.

" . . . And med packs."

"Yes, Sir."

"Dad, I can walk."

Zared grunted, "Sure, if you want to get there by Satura. Listen to your father, kid,"

"Let's go," Atton said as he nudged Canderous.

"No!" Carth snapped. "Make sure Dustil gets treatment and back on the Ebon Hawk." He carefully handed his son over to Atton's care. When he turned toward the academy, Zared was in his path and placed his hand on Carth's chest.

"Admiral . . ."

"General," he spit out.

Zared shrugged and step aside. _He does outrank me._

* * *

Tuluk seemed to be struggling while it appeared Jaden wasn't weakening at all. He didn't understand it, but it felt like the dark side was only throwing him scraps of power. Each time he tried to use the Dark Force powers, she deflected them back with no effort or effect on her. ~~ _Why have you abandoned me?_ ~~ He silently screamed from the returned stasis field he was caught in.

Jaden began to chuckle low in her throat, sounding like a beast about to strike. "Because I abhor weakness," she said releasing the stasis field and unleashing her strongest attack yet. Tuluk valiantly defended himself as she advanced, but the quick snap of her wrist caused her silver blade to nick his hip. Tuluk cried out in pain.

* * *

Carth jogged up the corridor. He could hear the hum, whine and clash of their sabers as he came to the training room. The cry of pain quickened his step.

~~ _Do not interfere._ ~~

~~ _That man tortured my son!_ ~~

~~ _The Child deals with this betrayer. It is her fight._ ~~

~~ _No!_ ~~ He silently shouted and promptly found himself stopped by a wall of stasis energy. It threw him back a few paces and when he approached again, it flared once.

~~ _Let me pass._ ~~

~~ _Yes, let him pass._ ~~

This time his steps back were for another reason. "Jaden?" he whispered unsure the dark and malevolent voice was hers.

~~ _She will need you when this is through, but she must see it to its end._ ~~

* * *

The voice was close and it caused her to stumble. She ducked quickly and rolled as Tuluk stabbed at her. ~~ _He is safe._ ~~ Jaden flipped to her feet, and blocked his next swing.

~~ _He weakens you!_ ~~

~~ _He is your strength._ ~~

~~ _We are your strength,_ ~~ the dark side shouted in her mind.

~~ _And your weakness,_ ~~ the light side said calmly.

~~ _Without both, I am nothing . . ._ ~~

Jaden quickly raised her blade and found herself in a saber lock. Tuluk pressed down, bringing his top blade closer to her head.

"You cannot win," Tuluk told her. "The dark side fuels my power. The tombs make me stronger," he added silently hoping she would buy that. The fact was, his command of the dark side was dwindling. "The Jedi are weak, easily manipulated. Bastila is proof of that."

Jaden pushed back once in anger, but the voice's sense of shock and treachery flooding through her had her stepping back. Tuluk began to laugh.

"That surprises you? She's so in love with that fool Onasi that as soon as you showed up it was pathetically simple to play on her emotions, to make her believe you would harm him. Pitiful, like all the Jedi, they spout about no emotion, no passion, while they secretly covet what they cannot have. Bastila would do anything for him even deliver his son to set a trap for you and your so-called enemy. Light side point, ha! You're as dark sided as he is," he said softly, menacingly as he pushed her away. "Even some on the Jedi Council were easily convinced you were Sith, so afraid of the power the dark side possesses. When I have finished with you I will join my new master and one day rule an empire!"

Tuluk found his attempt at an upswing maneuver blocked by the saber in Jaden's left hand. When he tried to push forward with the top blade, he found he couldn't move. He yanked on the saber once then looked up. Jaden had the glowing blade cradled in her hand. He pulled once more, but it wouldn't move. In fact, he couldn't move. "What trick is this?" he demanded as terror flooded his system. It was impossible for someone to hold the blade of a saber.

"You just don't get it, do you," she said softly with a trace of sadness. "You betrayed the dark side by breaking its word. You betrayed me, the light, with your manipulation and lies. There will be no empire for you, no apprenticeship with the Sith'ari, and no redemption."

Images began crawling through his head eating away at his sanity. Beautiful and horrifying images running side by side as if he was being torn in two. "Who are you?" he asked in a frightened and panicked voice as the insanity began to thread its way through his body, eating away the muscle, tissue and bone.

~~ _Together…_ ~~

"I am the Force."

Jaden's eyes flashed and she snarled as she jerked her fingers around the glowing blade, sending a spike of energy down the shaft. The hilt exploded in his hands, blowing them off before traveling through the rest of his body. Tuluk screamed and collapsed, twitching at her feet, his face frozen in a horrible twisted mask.

~~ _You have done well, silly girl,_ ~~ the dark masters praised as they faded away leaving her exhausted and weakened.

Jaden collapsed to her knees and sat back on her heels as the power diminished and she struggled to find her balance.

~~ _Child?_ ~~

"Not now, Masters. There's still more to be done," she whispered as she picked through the gore and remnants of Tuluk's saber to find his crystal. It pulsed faintly in her palm. "Not yet, you son of a bitch." She pocketed the crystal as she struggled to stand then hobbled away from the destruction she had caused.

* * *

When she reached the top of the corridor, Jaden saw Carth furiously pacing, his saber in his hand, his face a hard mask of fury and pain.

~~ _He knows of her betrayal._ ~~

~~ _Yes._ ~~

Jaden stepped to the side, out of sight and leaned against the wall. "And once again the Force . . . _I_ . . . cause him harm," she whispered feeling a different pain, a stabbing one in her heart.

~~ _Child, you know the choices man makes are not always wise. It is often emotion that dictates their actions._ ~~

"I don't want him to hurt," she whispered with in a frail voice, close to tears, with her heart breaking. "Hasn't he suffered enough?"

~~ _Years ago, you found a voice among the suffering of millions when a planet died. You provided comfort and solace for a soul that had lost everything. You have healed the voice, Child, but you cannot protect it from harm._ ~~

"Then what of my own. How do I protect my voice? How do I protect what I am? The Jedi endangered an innocent young man, and for what," she said spitting out the last word, "To gain glory? To prove the light is weaker than the dark by using manipulation to erode a hard-fought trust? To prove love is the most dangerous of weapons?"

~~ _Not all are complicit,_ ~~ the masters said quietly.

"Then why do I want to follow his advice, go the fear-me-I-am-the-all-powerful-Jedi route," she whispered harshly, then added, "Which I am, by the way."

~~ _Betrayal hurts many, Child, and your reaction is normal._ ~~

"Just don't do it? It would be so simple to recall the dark masters, slay Zared and Carth and end this nightmare," she said rubbing her temples. " I just ruthlessly slaughtered a man by using his own power against him. I threw out _EVERYTHING_ you and the dark masters have taught me, to satisfy my own need for revenge for the pain he caused. I'm suppose to be better than that," she whispered loudly, angrily. "We're supposed to be better than that!"

~~ _Child, you are hurting, but you are also very wise and learned your lessons well. While we do not condone what you did, we do trust your judgment in this matter._ ~~

Jaden fingered the crystal in her pocket, took a deep breath, and headed toward Carth.

* * *

Twice. That's twice now Bastila had betrayed him, hadn't thought enough of _him _to trust his judgment. The first time, with Revan, was understandable given the circumstances, but this time? This time it was inexcusable to put his son in harms way, and for what, to capture Zared, Jaden? The part of him that cared for Bastila shattered, like shards of glass, cutting his trust in her to ribbons.

Dustil had been tortured because she didn't see through Tuluk's lies. She had set aside her Jedi training; let her judgment be compromised because of her feelings for him. _THERE IS NO EMOTION!_ He silently screamed as he paced the floor of the training room, the muscles in his jaw twitching. _No emotion! No feeling! No sentiment! No passion! None! It doesn't exist! It is dead!_

~~ _You are not to blame, Admiral._ ~~

~~_ She refused to believe me, to trust me after being told repeatedly what was going on!_ ~~

~~ _Master Shan did what she felt was right out of fear, a powerful motivator when manipulated again and again._ ~~

~~ _And a cause of falling to the dark side, but what she did is worse than fall._ ~~

~~ _In time, forgiveness . . ._ ~~

~~ _NEVER!_ ~~

* * *

Jaden stood just outside of the entrance to the training room and watched Carth. ~~ _Masters, leave him be,_ ~~ she said when she realized he was hearing the Force. He was angry and his gestures proved it. Carth wasn't ready to listen, and since stubborn was his middle name, whatever wisdom they thought to impart was wasted.

"How is Dustil?" she asked quietly. Carth spun toward her voice and took two steps before the stasis field flared. Jaden waved a couple of fingers and the barrier erected to keep him from charging up the ramp, disappeared.

"Tortured! By that bastard," he said punctuating the point by thrusting his finger over her shoulder. "Is he dead?"

Jaden nodded as she closed the distance between them.

"Damn it, Jaden!" he shouted as he walked away, shaking his fist once, before walking back to her.

~~ _Child, you must leave. The longer he is here the angrier he becomes, the weaker you grow,_ ~~ and to prove it, her hand went to the stitch in her side. Carth grimaced right along with her, mirroring the action.

"That . . . hurt you," he stated irritably unable to come up with a despicable enough term for Tuluk.

Jaden shook her head, dismissing him and said, "I need to leave the surface. We should go."

Carth grabbed her belt, "Don't," and yanked her to slam into his body, "lie to me," he added in a deadly voice. His eyes, normally a warm dark brown, were cold and nearly black with darkness.

Jaden couldn't face the fact that her betrayal had also cost him and she looked away. "It's not bad," she said quietly and stood still as he pulled the shirt from her pants to expose the wound. She held the shirt away from the gash.

He instinctively knew it had been worse, but the angry red gash had split open and was oozing blood despite the cool heat from the saber initially cauterizing the injury. Carth reached down in his pants pocket and pulled out a gauze pad to place over the wound. "Would a med-pack help?" he asked as he smoothed out the self-adhering edges.

"It couldn't hurt," she said still looking across the room.

Carth pulled out the med-pack and rammed it into her thigh, causing her to wince as it released the small amount of Kolto into her system. His movements were efficient, his voice cold.

_Please don't shut me out,_ she thought feeling helpless as each obstacle she had removed over the years were methodically rebuilt around the voice.

"Let's go. I want off this fracking rock as much as you do."


	34. Chapter 33

The Ebon Hawk was eerily silent on the short ride back to the Sojourn. Atton and Canderous were on the bridge, Carth was in the med-bay with Dustil, and Jaden wandered her quarters, still fighting off the effects of the dark side and thinking how this whole situation was turning into a Mynock's nest . . .

When she and Carth exited the academy, only Zared was waiting for them. Still on edge from what she had done, she immediately jumped to the wrong conclusion and pinned him to a rock, her forearm pressing on his neck, demanding to know where Atton and Canderous were. It took Carth and the just arriving Atton to pull her off and explain that Canderous was with Dustil. Zared glared at her until she reluctantly apologized.

The short trip down the path was silent except for Zared asking if she killed Mors and Jaden's 'yes' response. She hadn't just killed him, she had slaughtered him and even knowing that ability was a part of her, and always had been, still made her feel dirty. Zared went to his men when they reached the valley floor and when he was out of ear shot, Atton informed her that some of the soldiers had managed to wire the back of the Shyrack cave and it was ready to blow when the order was given. Jaden took the detonator and nodded her thanks.

There wasn't a lot to be done in terms of getting everyone to their ships, but when one of the Republic soldiers asked about the Sith prisoners, Jaden turned and shouted, "Zared? You can have these guys if you want them," she stated referring to the few Jedi they found among Tuluk's "Sith". To her way of thinking, if they were so desperate to learn the power of the dark side, who better to teach them than the Dark Master himself.

"Why not," he said with a shrug. "It'll save training time."

When a couple of them balked, she made the off-handed comment, "Guess you should have thought of that before turning to the dark side."

It was Atton who stepped forward and asked, "Are you being fair? They may have been manipulated along with others, tricked into their actions. Perhaps they have learned something from this experience which could make them stronger in the light."

Jaden shrugged and gave them the choice of going with Zared or leaving the order. Of the seven, only two opted to leave the order, the rest went with Zared. "Satisfied, Captain Rand?" she asked bumping his shoulder as she brushed by him.

~~ _It is small, but he takes the first steps toward his destiny._ ~~

~~ _My master Jedi with the smart mouth,_ ~~ she thought with an inward smile, yet she felt lighter. Atton's act of compassion, to think of someone other than himself, chased away some of the disappointment she had been feeling . . .

Jaden splashed water on her face, trying to cleanse away the exhaustion and dirty sensation that crawled along her skin. _One of my own,_ she thought, _betrayed by one of my own for a chance at glory. And not just me. A betrayal of all Jedi; a betrayal of a friend . . ._

Although he gave orders to his men, Carth had been quiet as he told the Republic soldiers to take the shuttle back to the Sojourn. HK protested when she told the droid to go with them, but when Jaden explained what she wanted HK and T3 to do, he reluctantly agreed. Jaden was afraid once she blew the cave, Zared would forget his promise and attack the Sojourn in his anger. The droids were to tap into the ships shield array and boost the power.

"Jaden," Atton said at her side, "What exactly happened? You've been withdrawn and trembling ever since you came out of the academy and poster boy looks like he lost his best friend."

"He did," she said. She patted his shoulder with a cheerless smile on her face and told him, "I'll be right back."

Atton watched as Jaden walked to meet Zared who was headed toward them. When Carth brushed past him, he swore and quickened his pace to catch up.

Zared stopped a few feet in front of her. "How's Dustil?"

"He's going to make it, thanks to you," she said quietly.

"Bet that hurt to say," he said with a faint grin.

Jaden flared her brows and gave him a chagrined smile before sighing. "There was a time when you were always like that, kind, looking out for others; a defender of the light."

Zared snorted, "I came to my senses." His look turned to one of melancholy as he tipped his head to the side. "You could too. It doesn't have to be this way," he said quietly. "We could join forces, rule together, Darling."

Jaden felt Carth approach behind her. "No. It has to be this way," she said softly. They studied each other for a few moments, numerous thoughts, and feelings exchanged in the silence. Somewhere along the line, they had forged some weird type of relationship, each recognizing the importance of the other to their lives and something no one else would ever understand. Two halves of a whole, they could take on each other's characteristics as evidenced by Zared coming to rescue Dustil and Jaden's utter destruction of Tuluk. Despite all that, only one would be left standing and they would mourn the death of the other.

"Admiral," Zared said looking over her shoulder, "I hope your son is okay. He, ah, showed a great deal of courage."

Carth nodded then stuck out his hand. "Thank you."

Zared spared a surprised look for Jaden then shook Carth's hand. "You're welcome," he said hesitantly then watched him walk away. "Now I know where Dustil gets his courage."

Jaden watched Carth's retreating back. His shoulders were rigid, his step purposeful, and he wore his anger like a cloak held close against a frigid sky. _He doesn't deserve what we've done to him._ "He's a good man," she said softly.

Zared's anger spiked hearing Jaden's devotion to Carth clear in her voice. He wasn't sure that he would classify his feelings for Jaden in the category of love, but she had wormed her way under his skin. He would regret her loss more than Revan's, but he knew antagonizing her wouldn't serve any purpose at this point, so his nasty comment stayed behind his teeth. Something had happened to her in the academy, he could feel it curl its way through his soul. She wouldn't tell him what it was so he asked, "Why are you here? My commander told me the Sojourn showed up after they arrived, then the Sith, the Ebon Hawk and finally you, dropping from a shuttle like an avenging angel."

"Shore leave."

"Darling," he said with a sigh, "Stupid . . ."

"Yes, yes, blah, blah, blah," she said making a 'talking' motion with her fingers. "Why were your men here?"

"Searching for artifacts that may lead to the keys or the Valley of the Jedi," he said crossing his arms. "And the Republic?"

"They came to seal the breach in the cave Kreia created." She told him matching his stance.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

Jaden turned to Atton and asked him to give them a minute. Atton wasn't happy about it, but he reluctantly left.

"When Kreia created the breach in the cave, she punched a hole, so to speak, in the dark side surrounding the tombs which allows it to escape." 

"Really?" he asked with a raised brow. _Perhaps the old witch was worth something after all._

Jaden nodded. "By sealing the cave, I can cut you off from the flow of the dark side. It's a way to . . . even the odds."

"I see," he said and his skepticism was written all over his face. "Guess it didn't work," he chuckled as he shook his head and scuffed one of his boots in the dirt.

"I haven't blown it yet," she said with a deadpan look.

"Darling, if you honestly think you can get me to believe that a pile of rocks is going to stop the flow of the dark side, well, instead of just looking stupid, you are stupid."

Jaden pulled the detonator from her pocket and allowed her thumb to caress the button that would set off the charges. "I can wait until you leave the surface, although you'll still feel the effects, it won't hurt as much."

Zared, a patient smile on his face, wobbled his head in disbelief as he rolled his eyes. "Go ahead," he said crossing his arms.

She reluctantly admitted she had feelings for him and although she didn't know exactly what they were, he had unknowingly ripped away a vital part of her all those years ago, and she should hate him, but she couldn't. Despite all that, this was still a battle of the survival between light and dark, and they would both do what it took to win regardless of their feelings for each other. _Damn it,_ she thought as she once more called upon the dark masters to give her the strength to push the button. "Don't say I didn't warn you."

The explosion rocked the valley floor, sending a plume of dust and debris high into the air before it began to rain down around them. Zared immediately cried out as he fell to his knees, then his side, clutching himself as wave after wave of pain poured from him. He rocked back and forth glaring at Jaden who hunched down next to him.

"So, Darth Tyr, how does it feel to be cut off from a part of yourself?" She asked in a whisper next to his ear as her eyes went dark and flashed dangerously . . . 

When Jaden entered the small med-bay, Carth was sitting next to Dustil, his back to the door.

"How is he?"

"His right leg is shattered, his left shoulder dislocated, the forearm busted and he has burn marks over eighty percent of his body. How do you think he is," he snapped.

Jaden touched his shoulder, ignored the stiffening of his muscles, and absorbed the cold devastation. Carth didn't move except to let his eyes close as he fought to block out the comfort she offered. If Jaden hadn't shown up last year, none of this would have happened. Yes, he would be dead, hell, they could all be dead, but his son wouldn't be lying here fighting for his life and someone he considered a friend wouldn't have betrayed him. _ This is your . . ._

~~ _Fault? She may be a silly girl, but do not seek to lay the blame at her feet for the weakness of others!_ ~~

"We're almost to the Sojourn. I told Kwyn to have a med team waiting for us." When he didn't answer, Jaden squeezed his shoulder once and left him alone.

* * *

Kwyn paced the small control room above the hangar where the Ebon Hawk would land. The medical team was outside in the main corridor ready to board the ship the moment the hanger was sealed. Of the fifteen Jedi assigned to the Sojourn, eight were missing, so the remaining seven were locked in the main conference room along with Bastila and Master Vandar. Bastila had demanded to know what was going on, saying Carth had no right to detain the Jedi like this, but Kwyn ignored her and locked the door in her face. It wasn't going to hold them, he knew that, and at the moment, he didn't care. Because of the Jedi that went with Tuluk, Dustil had been seriously injured.

When Jaden contacted him and told him that Dustil was wounded, Kwyn's heart plummeted. He pressed her for details but she only told him to have the med team ready and what they should be prepared for. Broken bones, burns, and internal injuries. He was stable but would need immediate attention.

His mind flashed to the first time Dustil broke his arm. Kwyn had gotten him a hover bike for his birthday, much to Morgana's vexation, and the first time Dustil rode it he lost control and hit a tree. Once she was sure her son was all right, she ripped Kwyn a new one for his lack of judgment. He stuck around for days trying to atone for his lapse. Another time, bullies were picking on Dustil and some of the other kids. Kwyn wanted to go bash heads, but Carth wouldn't let him. Then Dustil was gone, taken by the Sith and Kwyn felt his loss as much as Carth. When his pseudo-son came home, he had vowed to always be there for Dustil, but once again, he had failed.

"Sir? General Lavek?"

Kwyn pulled himself from his musings and turned to the tech.

"The Ebon Hawk is coming in."

* * *

Atton and Canderous were shutting down the systems on the ship when Jaden entered the bridge. Atton looked over his shoulder and asked after Dustil.

"He'll be fine." _It's his father I'm worried about,_ she thought. The voice had shut down and erected a barrier even she couldn't get past.

"What are you going to do?" Canderous asked.

"I don't know. What do you do when you've been betrayed?" she asked as she leaned against the Navicomputer.

"Fight," Atton answered turning the command chair towards her.

Jaden looked at him and shook her head with resignation. "We've had this discussion before, Atton."

"I'm not talking about a physical fight between you and Bastila . . . although . . . I mean fight back against the betrayal. Use it to make the order stronger."

"And will you be one of my weapons?"

_Crap,_ he thought, _I walked into that one._ "Uh," he muttered as Jaden raised a brow. "Crap!" She let him off the hook by telling him to lower the ramp. "Jaden . . ."

"One thing at a time, Atton," she said with a small smile. _But don't think I'll let you off that easily in the future._

When the three of them entered the main hold, Kwyn and Visas were waiting while the medical team made their way toward the med-bay. "Are you guys okay?"

Jaden nodded as she watched over her shoulder as Carth steeped out of the way.

"What the hell happened down there?" Kwyn asked as he turned to look at Carth.

"It was a trap for Jaden," Canderous said.

"She was betrayed; the . . . light, was betrayed. Tuluk took Dustil to lure Jaden to the surface to turn her over to Zared to prove his worth."

Put so plainly, Jaden felt the dark side within her fight to take control. ~~ _You will not dictate my actions._ ~~

~~ _This betrayal must not be allowed to go unanswered!_ ~~

~~ _I will deal with it in my own fashion._ ~~

~~ _Then see that you do!_ ~~

Okay, she thought, this part of her she could do without at times. It would be so easy to go out there and destroy Bastila and the others who betrayed her, which is what the dark masters wanted, but that was the easy route and would do nothing to repair the damage done. "Yes. Tuluk and . . ." she stopped speaking when the med team came out with Dustil strapped to a gurney, his leg immobilized and a Kolto drip running in his arm. Carth followed close behind looking haggard and angry.

"Where are they?" he demanded the moment he saw Kwyn.

Kwyn looked at the group before answering. "In the conference room."

"Damn it, Lavek, when I gave you the order to round them up I assumed you would know to put them in Force Cages!" Carth shouted.

"Admiral . . ."

"Shut up and stay out of this Visas."

"Don't talk to her like that," Kwyn snapped stepping between Carth and Visas.

"And don't you dare tell me how to speak to someone under my command," Carth narrowed his eyes then sneered, "General."

"Last I checked, she answered to Jaden," Atton muttered but Carth heard him.

"I've got a Force Cage with your name on it, _Jedi_," he said the term with hostility as he glared at Atton, his hands curled into fists.

"Bring it on, poster boy!" Atton said straightening from the center console, he was leaning against.

Jaden shot her right hand out in time to stop Carth's fist from connecting with Atton's jaw. Everyone heard the crack of several bones in her palm, but Jaden didn't flinch as the sharp pain shot up her arm to mingle with the rest caused by the planet. The Masters had stopped protecting her when they reached the Sojourn and it was Atton and Visas that were keeping the worst of it at bay. "Stop it!" she shouted holding Carth's gaze. "Please," she added softly seeing despair and self-loathing at what he did come into his eyes. Jaden carefully closed her fingers around his fist. He lowered his hand as his lips thinned and the hard, cold look came back into his eyes. Without a word, he turned on his heel and stormed toward the ramp.

"I could have taken him," Atton mumbled watching Carth's retreating back.

"Atton," Jaden sighed carefully flexing her fingers.

"How bad it is?" Visas asked as she came around the center console to take her hand.

"It'll be fine."

"Fine!" Kwyn shouted then added as he pointed in the direction Carth had gone, "He just broke your hand. We all heard it."

"Better than Atton's neck," she snapped as she roughly took her hand back from Visas. The healing touched helped some, but her bigger issue was losing the battle with her anger.

"My neck," he said rubbing it.

"What are you talking about?" Canderous asked. "Atton's annoying but Carth wouldn't intentionally hurt him. I know he's angry about Dustil, but even when he found out about Revan, he didn't go after her."

"Things are different now, Canderous," she said as she headed toward the ramp, shaking her hand.

"Different?" Visas asked then stopped. "Oh no," she said softly. "How long have you known?"

"Since he heard Tuluk tell me that Bastila was in on his plan to trap me."

"Darth Carth?" Atton asked. Jaden nodded once as she turned the corner to the ramp.

"Care to fill me in?" Kwyn asked as he followed Jaden.

"He's no long poster boy for the Republic."

"Basic, please!"

"Onasi has fallen to the dark side," Canderous said bringing up the rear of the small group.

"What?"

"Kwyn, we need to leave this system now," Jaden said turning to him. "He doesn't realize what has happened since he's been so focused on Dustil, but we need to get him away from here."

"What about you?" Atton asked.

Jaden looked at him and let her eyes flash. "I need it to finish the fight."

_Whoa,_ Kwyn thought as he took an instinctive step back, _that's something new_. He didn't get the chance to question Jaden, as a commotion could be heard outside the ship and raised voices yelling, "Stop!" Jaden turned and reached the bottom of the ramp in time to see Bastila shake off a couple of guards and head in Carth's direction. As he reached for his saber, she quickly force pulled the weapon from his side. He shot her a hateful look and drew his blaster. Bastila's head bumped the barrel once before she took a hasty step back in the silence that descended on the hangar.

"You . . . bitch!" Carth shouted each word precisely as he held Jaden's gaze. His stance was ridged with fury, the blaster's aim true and unwavering even though he wasn't looking at Bastila.

"Carth, please . . ." Bastila said in a pleading tone.

"My son!" he bit out as he turned his head to look down the sight on the blaster at her.

"Let me explain . . ."

"My son, you Shutta, is not a pawn for the Jedi Council!"

"Some on the council . . . he wasn't suppose . . ."

Carth stretched his arm straighter, his face a grim mask of rage. "He almost died!"

Bastila began to back up. She had never seen him this angry and for the first time since meeting him, she was genuinely afraid of Carth Onasi. "Carth, we didn't realize the Exile and Sith would be here," she said hastily as she continued to back up. For each step she took, Carth stalked her. "Dustil wasn't in any danger. I don't know how the Exile got a hold of him . . . this was suppose . . ."

"He walked into the academy and took him!"

"What?" she asked frantically looking around to find assistance, but only saw a hangar full of grim soldiers who were regarding her like she was less than Bantha poodoo. The faces of Atton and Canderous were filled with anger as they both stood, feet slightly apart with their arms crossed, at the bottom of the ramp to the Ebon Hawk. "You!" Bastila gasped when she saw Jaden standing next to them, Carth's saber in her hand. "Where is Master Tuluk?"

"Dead," Carth snapped.

"Well, almost," Jaden said handing the saber to Visas as she walked toward them. Carth's head snapped around as she approached taking Tuluk's crystal from her pocket.

"You lied to me?"

"No, Onasi, I didn't. Physically Tuluk is dead," she tossed the crystal once and when it landed in her palm it pulsed faintly, "But that isn't enough."

"Master, no!" Vandar implored from the side then watched in horror as Jaden closed her fingers around the crystal and squeezed. The air seemed to be sucked from the hangar as a flash of red light emanated from her fist and a keening wail could be heard echoing around them. It was over quickly and Jaden tipped her fist to allow the black dust to fall from her hand.

"Now, he's dead."

Bastila's eyes were twice their normal size and her hand covered her mouth in shock. Vandar tipped his head down in failure and he closed his eyes.

"Looks to me like you picked the wrong Sith to trust, Bastila," Atton called out.

"You see, Jedi Shan, Zared gave his word he wouldn't harm Dustil, so when he received a message from Darth Mors saying he had Carth's son, Zared abandoned his search for the second key to come rescue him. It was same message I received so you can imagine my surprise when I find one of my own has not only betrayed me, the light, but had tortured a young man I care very deeply for."

Bastila began to shake her head slowly. "It's impossible. Master Tuluk was not a . . . a . . . Sith!"

"You're right. That would be insulting the dark side. But do you want to know what's worse?" Jaden asked as she turned to Carth and placed her hand on his arm to lower his blaster. Their eyes met briefly and she silently implored him not to shut her out. "You betrayed a friend," Jaden let her voice drop as she turned to the shaking woman, "someone I have fought to heal for years and that I cannot tolerate." The long hilt of Bastila's double bladed saber flew into her hand. Painfully, Jaden grabbed both ends and broke it in half over her knee allowing both pieces to clatter to the deck, the metallic clangs filling the silent hangar.

Jaden turned her back on the stunned and frightened woman. "Dustil's going to expect to see you when he wakes from surgery," she said touching the side of his face and turning it to her. It was still a mask of stone, cold and unforgiving.

"Carth, I . . ." Bastila began but sputtered to a stop when he looked at her.

"You've betrayed me twice, and now I'm indebted to the leader of the Sith Empire for the life of my son! I want you and the rest of the Jedi off my ship," he snarled.

"Admiral Onasi," Vandar said as he came forward.

"Captain of the Guard!"

"Sir?"

"Escort the Jedi to their shuttle and off the Sojourn," he barked and walked away.

"Yes, Sir!"

The moment the hangar door closed on his rigid back, Bastila turned on Jaden. "This is your fault!"

"Give it up, Princess," Canderous roared. "Your plotting and scheming brought this on, and you almost killed Carth's son."

"We did nothing of the sort!" Bastila yelled in haughty outrage. She had never felt so alone as she looked around and found only contempt on the sea of faces of those in the hangar. Even Master Vandar looked troubled.

"Then what did you hope to accomplish," Vandar asked quietly. Jaden looked at him and felt his disappointment. _Welcome to my world._

"To free Carth and the others of her," she said pointing to Jaden, "influence."

"Who else is involved?" Vandar asked. Bastila didn't answer as she glared at Jaden. He sighed, "Master . . ."

"Master?" Bastila interrupted incredulously.

"There were seven Jedi with Tuluk. Two chose to leave the order, the other five went with General Zared although I doubt they'll last very long . . ."

"What?"

"When you discover who else on the Council were accomplices to Tuluk's plan, they are to be banished from the order."

"You have no right!" Bastila screamed in indignation.

"Actually she does," Atton said coming to Jaden's side. "She may be half of a whole but that doesn't change the fact that she is _the_ Grand Master and the embodiment of the light side."

"Master Vandar, this is what I have been trying to caution against. The embodiment of the Force, the Valley of the Jedi, it's only a legend. A child's tale. She has tricked the others, Carth especially, into believing this lie."

"Leave us!" Jaden snapped as she unhooked her saber and handed it to Atton.

He took it reluctantly and said, "I didn't mean that literally, you know," he said referring to his crack about a fight with Bastila.

"Please, clear the hangar. General Lavek, we need to leave the system. Vandar, you may stay."

The group ushered the rest of the soldiers out of the hangar, leaving Bastila, Vandar, and Jaden alone.

"What is the first line of the Jedi Code, Bastila?" Jaden asked as she began to pace the hanger. If she didn't move, she probably would take a shot at the annoying woman.

"What?"

"It's a simple question. What is the first line of the Jedi Code? Or have you forgotten," Jaden said.

"Of course I haven't forgotten! There is no emotion; there is peace."

"And the third line?"

"There is no passion; there is serenity," Bastila said watching as Jaden bent down to retrieve the hilt of her broken saber. A spike of fear ran through her when Jaden took out the crystals.

"And the second?"

"There is no ignorance; there is knowledge. What is the meaning of this? I know the code; it is essential to all Jedi. I could ask you the same questions."

"Master Shan, please, patience is also a Jedi trait." Vandar said hoping to temper Bastila's attitude.

"You could ask, but since I'm not a Jedi, I don't need to know the code," Jaden gave her a smug smile.

"Then perhaps I should ask what the code of the Sith is?"

"You would know that better than I, wouldn't you," Jaden snapped, her face turning hard. "For years, I have watched you struggle with your emotions. Even as a young Padawan, you allowed your feelings to dictate your actions instead of letting them guide you to the right decisions. Tell me, if Revan had been a man, would you have allowed your _passions_ to drive you into his arms?" Bastila's indrawn breath was her only answer. "Despite all caution, you continue to allow your emotions, your passions to override what you know to be true. You casually disregard any knowledge you are told simply because it may not fit with your belief, and that leads to ignorance." Jaden walked away from her as she plowed her fingers through her hair. "You have broken three of the codes which have lead to the fourth; chaos, for someone you claim is your friend."

"Carth is my friend and I will not stand by and watch as you lie and manipulate him! The Council . . ."

Jaden spun around and shouted, "The Council has no say in any of this! Trust me, if this was a matter the Council could handle I wouldn't be here. This isn't some civil war between the Jedi and the Sith, this is a battle of light and dark, of a magnitude even the Jedi couldn't hope to defeat on their own."

"Then why Carth, Atton and the others?" Bastila demanded. "Why involve the rest of us if this hypothetical fight is between you and the Exile."

"Because they are important to the outcome! There are things I need to correct in order to return balance to the Force. And no, they don't concern you, especially now that you have proven you cannot be trusted! We have told you what is going on and I'm not going to waste my time or energy trying to make you understand. You listen but you do not hear. You claim to be his friend, but you betrayed him by not trusting his judgment. You have betrayed your fellow Jedi by ignoring their council over the years and endangering their lives because you lead with your heart, not your head!

I have _never_ asked for blind obedience in those that use me, but I cannot stand by this time and watch as you destroy what I have spent years trying to heal because you are a spoiled selfish brat, who thinks only of how events effect you!"

Bastila's face paled with each word Jaden shouted. She didn't know what was happening to her, but she felt bits and pieces of herself being ripped away, exposing every fear, she had about her ability as a Jedi.

"Master," Vandar said quietly watching the two women. Bastila seemed to shrink before his tired eyes as Jaden held her gaze. "The Order has been ravaged over the past years with all the wars, please, for your sake, do not banish her. Bastila is important to the Republic and its' rebuilding."

Jaden stepped away from the cowering woman and turned to Vandar. "I'm not entirely certain of that, but I respect your wisdom, Master Vandar," she said as she approached him and held out the crystals from Bastila's saber. "She can have them back, but only after she has been retrained. She will not sit on the council ever again, nor will she be allowed at the temple on Coruscant." Jaden put the crystals in his hands and walked away.

Vandar slowly made his way to Bastila's side. When the doors to the corridor snicked shut, he said quietly, "Over the years, we have cautioned you about your emotions. Perhaps now that you have heard it from the One True Jedi, you will listen."


	35. Chapter 34

Zared cracked one eye open as the incessant metal tapping from the droid outside his room intruded on his very pleasant dream. He rolled over, flung out his arm and smiled with he heard the satisfying _thunk-clank_ as the droid hit the wall on the opposite side of his living area. _Damn metallic pest,_ he thought. Was this the fourth or fifth droid he had to replace? No, the sixth. After he had critically wounded a fourth crewmember for trying to wake him early, it had been his medical officer that suggested he use droids as his personal valet.

The sheets whispered silkily as he raised his left knee and levered himself up against the massive shimmering black headboard. It had been two days since Korriban and he was still sore. He still kicked himself for not believing Jaden about sealing the cave so he was unprepared when she detonated the charges. The pain was like a giant vacuum sucking the air from his lungs while trying to turn him inside out. Every muscle, every organ in his body felt like it was scrambling to escape, clawing their way out of his flesh as his brain thundered against his skull and his ears screamed in a high pitched wail that he could still hear at times. He looked down before pulling the sheet to his waist. His body was still intact, surprisingly, but his torso sported red blotches and bruises from his chest to his waist. He rested his head against the headboard and closed his eyes.

Jaden never looked back after she called him Darth Tyr and made that cryptic comment about being 'cut off from yourself'. What the hell did that mean? He had underestimated her, something he wouldn't do in the future, but even when he cut himself off from the Force, it didn't affect him the way this did. Yes, he thought thinking back, there was pain, but at the time, he contributed it to all the death that surrounded him at Malachor V. Hell, he didn't realize what he had done until his return, and while he hated Kreia for manipulating him, she had pointed him down his true path so he would be thankful for that. But what did Jaden mean? Why did she call him Darth Tyr? That was a crappy name for a dark lord; it didn't sound nearly menacing enough.

~~ _We warned you of her manipulative ways, but you didn't believe us! She used your feeling for her against you. She is nothing but a silly girl!_ ~~

~~ _Shut up. Jaden is many things but a silly girl isn't one of them and my feelings for her are none of your concern._ ~~

~~ _So you will continue to allow her to use and maneuver you into a situation she controls? You must deal with the Light!_ ~~

Zared remembered his dream of various ways to strike at Jaden, to cause her pain as she did to him. He may not be able to classify his feelings, but he knew in the end it wouldn't matter. He would be the one left standing with Jaden at his feet. ~~ _Don't worry; I'm looking forward to it._ ~~

"Your thank you's need work, Darling," he muttered around a yawn as he turned his head and looked at the chronometer on the table. It's not that anyone would dare say a word if he stayed in bed, but he supposed he should get up and do something dastardly. Weren't emperors suppose to loll around while scantily clad women saw to their every need? Zared snorted as he threw back the sheet and crawled naked from the bed. Revan had met many of his needs, but if he asked for a backrub, forget it. He let the faint smile fade as he admitted he missed her. It was as simple as that. She offered a challenge few did, except Jaden of course, but Jaden had killed Revan and he couldn't fault her for defending herself. Obviously, Revan had gotten careless during their meeting and it cost her. He sighed as he turned on the shower, there was no room for carelessness in this battle, and Revan got what she deserved.

~~ _So did you!_ ~~

~~ _Shut up._ ~~

An hour later dressed in black from his boots to the tunic, Zared paced the main conference room waiting for Radha Amenusis, the historian. He hated waiting on anyone and if it wasn't for his fondness of the old coot, he would have destroyed him long ago, but Radha had the knowledge so Zared paced, care to keep his distance from the obelisk still sitting in the corner. Even from this distance, it sat there hissing and spitting at him like a cornered animal.

~~ _Destroy it. It would be one way to strike at your enemy._ ~~

Zared rolled his eyes, ~~ _It may be important._ ~~

~~ _The old man only keeps it because he feels it could be important. It's a worthless relic, nothing more._ ~~

~~ _How do you know its worthless?_ ~~

~~ _You don't trust us?_ ~~

~~ _No,_ ~~ he chuckled, ~~ _I don't._ ~~

~~ _Then perhaps destroying it would be way to strike at your enemy._ ~~

~~ _Or perhaps you are trying to make me look like a fool!_ ~~

~~ _You don't need us to do something you excel at._ ~~

~~ _Shut up._ ~~

Zared was still fuming over the voices comments when Radha hustled into the room fifteen minutes later. "Youngling, you are back! Did you successfully rescue the boy?"

"Yes."

"Good, good. You know, he could . . ."

"Tell me of your progress in finding the second key."

Radha gave Zared a long look and decided that if he didn't want to know about Isano, he wasn't going to enlighten him. It was obvious something had occurred on Korriban, something more than rescuing the boy, but he wasn't going to ask about that either. Zared would tell him when he was ready. "We have mapped the field and are now beginning with the first quadrant. I told you it would take time, young one."

Zared's anger went from a simmer to a slow boil. "You haven't even started searching? I was gone for almost a week!"

"It's an asteroid field . . .," Radha said as he set down the tablets he brought with him.

"I know what the hell it is," he snarled

" . . . It must be mapped so nothing is left unsearched. What did you think would happen in your absence?"

"A hell of a lot more!" Zared shouted.

"Don't you raise your voice to me youngling!" Radha shouted right back as he shook his finger. "I am not one of your flunkeys and you will not treat me as such!"

~~ _He is not needed, destroy him!_ ~~

~~ _Shut the frack up!_ ~~ Always with the death and destruction, he thought, but perhaps destruction of a different kind would be useful.

"You said the key gives off a certain frequency," he demanded but in a calmer tone.

"Yes."

"Then if I use the Gehenna's scanners we could cover a greater area," Zared stated as he began to pace along side the table Radha had covered with artifacts and data pads.

"That was my plan, yes."

Walking to the table, Zared picked up the oblong object that was the key. "Is this destructible?"

"I do not know. What are you thinking?" Radha asked with a narrowed but curious look.

~~ _You cannot destroy the key you fool!_ ~~

Zared ignored the voices and put the key back and picked up the amulet that had felt so cold in his hand the first time he touched it. He could see the outline of Jaden's symbol more clearly this time. "Is this the same material as the key?"

"Yes, as is the obelisk," Radha answered and watched Zared move toward the door.

"You," he said pointing to one of the young guards.

"Yes, milord?"

"Stand over there and hold this out," Zared pointed to a spot as he gave the guard the amulet and took his rifle.

Nayr Siwel joined the Sith military much to his mother's chagrin. He was never an overly bright boy, but he saw this as a way to prove himself to his family and friends. He swore he would one day be a part of the personal guard for General Zared. No one believed he would reach his goal, but he showed them. Two months ago, he had been promoted to Zared's personal detail and had even accompanied him to Korriban. His mother still did believe him, but he didn't care. He was tired of everyone thinking he was a screw up, that Nayr was unimportant. Now, he had been hand selected for what he was certain was an important task if it involved the ancient artifacts the general was so concerned with finding. Feeling important, Nayr took the amulet and stepped to the spot his general indicated.

"Youngling, what are you doing?"

Zared shot Radha a stern look as he held up one finger, indicating the old man should wait. He then turned to the soldier and shot out a precise stream of lightening, hitting the medallion in it's center. The small object began to swing wildly back and forth but was otherwise undamaged. The same, however, could not be said of the young Nayr who stood there twitching. Zared then raised the rifle to his shoulder and fired. The force of the bolt caused the medallion to fly from the young mans hand and hit the wall, while the bolt was deflected off into Nayr's chest and he collapsed to the floor in a sparking, smoking heap.

"Well damn," Zared said as he nonchalantly stepped over the smoldering body, "that didn't work." He raised the rifle once more and fired at the obelisk.

"General Zared!" Radha cried out before scrambling under the table to avoid the wildly ricocheting bolt.

When silence fell on the room, Zared bent down and looked at Radha huddled under the table, his robes puddle around his small crouched body as his myopic eyes blinked rapidly behind the large glasses. "You can come out now," he said pleasantly.

"Are you done trying to kill us?"

"Almost, but you might want to be behind me for the next test," he answered as he helped the old man up, wincing when he heard the creaking and cracking of old bones.

"Test?"

"Yes," he answered standing in front of Radha before he turned to the obelisk and shot lightning from both hands. The old man threw his arms around Zared to protect himself from the energy zipping around the large conference room.

"You are insane!" Radha shouted.

"No, just impatient," Zared snapped watching the lightning curl as it surrounded the obelisk.

"What are you planning to do?" Radha demanded as Zared approached the electrified object in the corner. It was no longer hissing and spitting and its glow had diminished.

"Destroy the asteroid field," Zared said picking up the amulet and seeing the symbol fade.

~~ _And perhaps your enemy as well._ ~~

"You cannot! We don't know what may be out there. There could be signs of life!"

Zared stopped when he approached the door and looked at Radha. "Like I give a Rancor's ass."

* * *

Visas was trying to convince Jaden that she needed to eat something when it happened. Dustil's' surgery was successful but he still hadn't woken and sitting in the waiting room for word was torture. Carth spoke to no one as he sat at his son's side, snarling when anyone came close and Jaden couldn't reach the voice through the barriers it had erected. Perhaps that is why she was so unprepared for the attack. She cried out as a needle-like sensation crawled along her skin, ripping her nerves to shreds as it searched for the heart of her. Jaden jumped from the chair clawing at her clothes that suddenly felt like a suit of razors cutting her to bits. As she tore at the fabric, she stumbled into the wall of the waiting room crying out in anguish.

"What is it?" Visas asked as she tried to capture Jaden's hands to keep her from hurting herself as she slid to the floor gasping for breath.

"He . . .he's . . . done . . . something!"

"What? What is he doing?"

Jaden shook her head before a terrifying painful scream escaped and echoed through the Sojourn.

* * *

Three days later, Zared, eyes closed, leaned back in his chair with his ankles crossed on the top of his desk. He could hear the occasional _fwump-boom_ of the Gehenna's main cannons as they fired at the asteroids that he been scanned. He also had several fighters out scanning and destroying the smaller rocks.

_There had to be an easier way,_ he thought. They were only halfway through the first quadrant. Maybe there was some type of explosive they could send into the field that would obliterate a good chuck of it. He didn't think he could get away with it though. Radha was all ready pitching a Gizka fit, even after Zared promised that if they came across something that showed promise he would leave it alone.

He opened his eyes and rested his chin on his hand. Everyday they spent looking for this blasted key, gave Jaden a larger head start to the third. It was the most important, after all, the key to the key so to speak. If it were anything else, Zared suspected the Republic would be crawling up his ion engines at every turn. As it was, he hadn't encountered any resistance from the fleet as he blithely scampered around Republic space with his own mini fleet of cruisers. Jaden might be responsible for that, but that would be pushing her authority. Then again, Admiral Onasi had been crawling up her ion engine so maybe he was . . . Zared ruthlessly shook off the thought. _Okay, think of the key._ The Republic was leaving him alone. Jaden didn't seem to be too concerned about that, so was it something to do with Mandalore since she had made a point of breaking him out of prison. He tried to think like the Mandalorian but that gave him a headache. Honor and glory got their butts handed to them at Malachor V, and he couldn't think of another planet during the war that held the same significance. Something to do with Clan Ordo? Not a big help there, he thought with a sigh, since Canderous was the last one. Was that significant? He tipped his head back and closed his eyes trying to recall all the information the Jedi had rammed down his throat during his training. He smiled, "Fat lotta good that did," he mumbled, but nothing came to mind. "If I was a key, where would I be?"

~~ _Not wasting time placating an old man._ ~~

Zared frowned when the dark voices intruded on his thoughts of how clever a poet he was. ~~ _Even the True Sith value life, if we didn't we wouldn't be here._ ~~

~~_ But you would. Even the practice of the apprentice taking the Masters place when they are strong enough would continue the Sith because the new master would need an apprentice._ ~~

~~ _And the vicious cycle begins again._ ~~

~~ _Is that why you haven't taken a new apprentice? You fear the day of your defeat?_ ~~ They crooned.

~~ _Revan wasn't my apprentice and no, I don't fear the day of my defeat._ ~~

~~ _Perhaps you should._ ~~

~~ _Meaning,_ ~~ he asked as anger began to coil in his gut. He hated these voices with a passion and if he knew how to rid himself of their annoying presence he would.

~~ _Even small prey fight for survival when faced with a greater enemy._ ~~

~~ _Spouting light side wisdom now?_ ~~

~~ _Pointing out that inaction could kill you. Do something!_ ~~

~~ _What would you have me do? You seem to have vast amounts of knowledge and wisdom, tell me, what should I do?_ ~~

When Zared didn't get an answer, he slammed his feet to the floor and stood, anger rolling off him in waves. ~~ _That's what I thought. You're no better than the light side. You offer your dark wisdom, bent on anger and destruction, but you offer no solutions!_ ~~

~~ _We give you power but you refuse to use it!_ ~~

~~ _So, what? I should wave my hand,_ ~~ he did, ~~ _and that will makes this easier?_ ~~ Several expositions rocked the Gehenna and Zared had to grab the desk to stay on his feet.

~~ _Yes!_ ~~

* * *

"How is she?" Kwyn asked as he came into the private room in the medical center.

"There's been no change," Visas answered from her chair at Jaden's bedside.

After Jaden screamed and collapsed three days ago, she had been drifting in and out of consciousness. At times, she clawed at her skin causing welts and deep scratches and they were forced to restrain her. When items began flying around the room and equipment in the medical center would spark and catch fire, Carth ordered her fitted with two neural restraint collars. Visas suspected he didn't do it out of concern for Jaden, but for Dustil and the machines he was hooked to.

"Has Carth been able to reach her?" He asked.

"No," Visas told him wondering why they had even bothered to ask him. He hadn't left Dustil's side and each time Jaden's name was mentioned, he seemed to clam up even tighter. She had to plead with him to try and reach Jaden. "He's tried a couple of times, but his concern for Dustil may be interfering with his concentration," she said as she reached out and held Jaden's hand. "Have you been able to locate the Gehenna?"

Kwyn shook his head as he moved to the bed and sat next to Jaden's knees. _You really need to wake. I can't handle seeing Carth like this all over again and you were the only one that seemed to be able to reach him after Revan's death. He won't eat, he won't sleep, and he snarls at everyone. If he has still fallen to the dark side, you need to tell me what to do._

"Atton told me the Exile said he found the light side key on Tatooine and he believes Zared is manipulating it somehow," Visas told him.

* * *

"Youngling, what have you done," Radha demanded when Zared stormed into the conference room as he was picking up items that had fallen to the floor. Zared sneered at the obelisk in the corner and shot a quick stream of lightning at the object. He'd been doing that every time he came into the room.

The explosions that had rocked the Gehenna had been several of the asteroids exploding at once. The ship had suffered some damage, but most of it was minor. His anger, however, was not. He was good and pissed that he had been goaded into losing control by the dark voices. Their chuckle had only served to make him angrier, which caused even more asteroids to explode. Unfortunately, the next set that went up in a fiery display took out several of the fighters in the field. Zared felt himself losing control like a kid on a drunken joy ride so he left his office to find the one thing that centered him: Radha.

"Milord?"

"Don't call me that!" He snapped at the old man as he paced the long length of the conference room. "You're the only one that doesn't' try to kiss my ass and I like it that way. When you call me by my title it . . ." _What? Makes me feel alone? Friendless?_

"Very well," Radha answered knowing he shouldn't press the issue. "Tell me then, youngling, what have you done?"

"She did something to me," Zared said with another quick shot at the obelisk.

"Who?"

"On Korriban. When she sealed the cave, Jaden did something!"

"When you went for the boy," Radha stated as he watched him pace. _Interesting,_ he thought, _he's afraid._

"Yes," he answered and told Radha of the cave, and how Kreia had created a breach in the Force. It was then that he made the final step to the dark side. "Jaden said the wound Kreia created allowed the dark side to escape from the tombs. I didn't believe her, thought it was a ridiculous ruse."

"What happen?"

"When she blew the charges it was like . . . being turned inside out is the only way to describe it. So there I am, writhing in pain and she leans over and says, 'So, Darth Tyr, how does it feel to be cut off from a part of yourself?' Ever since then I feel like I have no control," Zared said as he continued to pace and take pot shots at the obelisk. "Who the hell is Darth Tyr and what the hell did she mean by cut off from yourself?"

"Well obviously she sees you as Darth Tyr."

"Well it's a stupid name! I don't even know what it means. I'd rather have Darth Cupcake."

Radha sank into a chair and placed his chin on his hand. "Darth Cupcake?" Zared pressed his lips together to keep from quirking. "Tyr is an ancient word. It means war. So in essence, I suppose she was calling you the Dark Lord of War. Even you have to admit that sounds more menacing than the Dark Lord of Cupcakes."

Zared couldn't stop the silent chuckle or his grin. "Then what of the other?"

"You are the One True Sith, the embodiment of the dark side. By sealing the cave she cut you off from a part of what is you."

"I don't know, old man, what she said . . . it seemed . . . personal."

"You would know better than I, since I wasn't there. So who's tomb?"

"What?" Zared asked as he continued pacing.

"Who's tomb did this Kreia tap?"

"I don't know," Zared whined like a child that wasn't getting his way.

Radha hunted through the items on the table in front of him until he found a blank datapad. He rose, stepped in front of Zared, and handed it to him. If nothing else, it would stop his infernal pacing. "Draw me a map of the valley.

"Don't you have one? You are the Sith historian."

"The True Sith historian, young one."

"Fine," he said taking the offered pad and stylus. It was crude but Radha got the idea. "Here's the cave . . . goes back this way . . . these are the tombs," he said drawing X's. "Ajunta Pall, Tulak Hord . . ." he paused again to reflect on the name and shook it off, " . . . Naga Sadow and Marka Ragnos."

"Ragnos?"

"Yes, why?"

"Didn't they teach you anything at the Jedi Academy?"

"Yes. How to bake cookies and meditate," he answered with a get-on-with-it look.

"You've never baked me cookies . . . or cupcakes for that matter."

"Old man," Zared growled with affection. This was why Radha was so important to him. He always managed to humor him out of his bad moods, steady him, and make him feel in control.

Radha grinned a sparse-toothed grin and patted his arm. "Sit down, Zared."

"With both feet on the floor and my hands in my lap?" he asked pulling out a chair.

"Don't get smart with me, young man," Radha answered with a raised brow. Zared smiled innocently. "Whelp! Now, Marka Ragnos was one of the most powerful Sith Lords during the Golden Age of the Sith Empire leading the Sith for many years. He death, actually, ended that golden age. He hated the Jedi more than any of the others you mentioned and vowed to return, even in death, to destroy the Jedi."

"I do remember learning that Exar Kun and Ulic Qel-Droma summoned him, right?"

"Very good, youngling. It is said that Ragnos was the one who appointed Kun leader of the Sith. If Kreia, when she created this breach, tapped into the Ragnos tomb, then yes, sealing this breach would cut you off from the dark side."

"Well I not suddenly skipping and picking flowers. I have an empire to run, keys to find. I still hear those blasted dark voices."

"Because you are the Sith'ari the perfect one who will rise and bring balance."

"Balance implies the light side," Zared snorted as he shot a nasty look at the obelisk.

"The prophecy also states the Sith'ari would rise to defeat the Sith, which you did, and return to lead them and make them stronger, which you are."

"Then what about the rule of two? _They,_ the grumblers, asked why I haven't taken an apprentice," he said referring to the dark voices.

"The rule of two is a bastardized version of the prophecy, so that dark lords can satisfy their lust for sole power of the Sith. The rule of two, as it relates in this situation, refers to you and Jaden."

"Light and dark."

"Yes. Just as there can be only One True Jedi, there can only be One True Sith. You and Jaden, your history spans millennia beyond, when those buried on Korriban, first left the Jedi Order. You are a product of the beginning just as she is."

"And the Jedi and Sith we both know and love?" he asked as he propped his booted feet on the table with a thunk.

"The Jedi have stayed true to their ideals. Perhaps that is why they appear to be stagnant, never straying from what they believe in. Even hunted to near extinction," he said with a quick look at Zared, "they manage to survive. The Sith, on the other hand, rely on fallen Jedi to survive."

"And like a pack of hungry Kath Hounds, if the alpha males dies they turn on each other, fight for dominance, destroying the pack," Zared said.

"Until one is left standing. Then the cycle begins again and the pack grows until the alpha male dies. That is why the Sith rise and fall, whereas the Jedi, regardless of thinned numbers continue to thrive, until one of their own decides to turn to the dark side and the Sith rise again."

"So the Sith Empire," Zared put his had on his chest, "My Sith Empire chooses to use the dark side for the strength it provides to grow and expand. The . . . Kath-Sith use the dark side merely for destruction, domination, and to satisfy their hatred of the Jedi."

"Yes. That's one reason why you were so amazed to find a normal, thriving civilization when you arrived at the Sith home world. We," Radha said pointing to himself, "The race known as the Sith, use the dark side to advance our cause, yes, but the utter destruction others are bent on, is a last resort. We believe in our strength and that makes us stronger. The worlds the empire has conquered over the centuries are stronger, and since we do not suffer dissention well, the empire thrives because dissention is met with force swiftly and decisively."

"So why didn't the Sith, Ajunta and the boys found on Korriban, fight back? Why allow themselves to be contaminated."

"Any civilization has those that are more advanced than others. Korriban is a fringe world to the Sith Empire and was not as advanced. 'The boys' as you called them, show up with magical powers to make their lives easier. Tell me, would you not be tempted?"

Zared bobbled his head in an I-suppose gesture. "So what happens when I find the keys, defeat Jaden and take control of the Valley of the Jedi. I'm not sure I want the . . . Kath-Sith to be a part of my empire."

Radha tipped his head and gave him an odd look. "Child, if you gain victory and the valley, you can do whatever you want."

"If? Isn't part of the Sith Code 'Through power I gain victory'?" he snorted.

"I suggest we find the keys before you start rewriting the Sith Code. One step at a time, youngling."

Zared grimaced, "About that," he said as he stood. "I will continue to scan as you requested but if anything found is miniscule, I won't stop. Each day we spend searching is another day Jaden can use to reach the third key."

Radha sighed but nodded. Zared would keep his word, but in this case, he would bend it to fit his needs.

"What do you know of the Mandalorians?" he asked as he rolled his shoulders.

"They are a warrior race, and there are some that believe a faction of the True Sith incited them to war against the Republic."

Zared have him a curious look. "Really?" Radha nodded. "Can you check on that for me?"

"Of course, but it is only a rumor."

_And one that may be a clue to why Mandalore travels with Jaden._ "Thank you," Zared said then raised his arm for one parting shot. Radha reached out and grabbed it, causing Zared to pull back so that the lightening sputtered and shorted out at his fingertips.

"You have experience first hand how a seemingly unrelated connection can effect you. Do you believe that doesn't go both ways?"

Zared looked at the dull and lifeless obelisk and remembered how it spit and hissed at him a few days ago. He yanked his arm back, muttered, "Damn it," and left the room.


	36. Chapter 35

_What is happening to me?_ The sensation of endlessly falling was making her ill. It felt like a fathomless tumble through an abyss and Jaden didn't know how to stop it. She was lightheaded and her stomach churned, dipped, and twisted, sometimes all at once. More than an out of body experience, she felt as if she was out of the Force. She couldn't move and that terrified her the most.

~~ _Wake up,_ ~~ the dark voices demanded.

Jaden struggled to open her eyes but the simple action seemed to be unconquerable. ~~ _He's done something to me._ ~~

~~ _He's done nothing! You are weak._ ~~

~~ _So you come to taunt me in my nauseous state? Go away._ ~~

~~ _Open your eyes, silly girl, and you will find your so-called friends have restrained you._ ~~

~~ _Restrained me?_ ~~

~~ _They claim for your own safety, but they are frightened for themselves._ ~~

~~ _If I open my eyes, will you go away?_ ~~

~~ _No._ ~~

Jaden, resigned to the fact that the other half of her existence wasn't going to leave, put more effort into opening her eyes. ~~ _This is different,_ ~~ she thought. She was surrounded by a gray mist, but could see the specter like outline of the room and its furnishings. There was no color and her vision seemed flat, like it was out of dimension. ~~ _Where am I?_ ~~

The dark voices sighed in disgust. ~~ _You are caught between your existence._ ~~

~~ _What? Where are the Masters?_ ~~

~~ _We are your masters!_ ~~

~~ _The nice ones,_ ~~ she snapped.

~~ _They are with the boy, which wouldn't be necessary if the whelp had done as we told him and taken the kid weeks ago._ ~~

~~ _What is wrong with Dustil?_ ~~

~~ _Nothing is wrong._ ~~

~~ _Do not lie to me,_ ~~ she demanded as she jerked against the restraints.

~~ _You waste your energy and we are incapable of lying to you, silly girl. All who are injured or sick are caught between your existences. Because you are restrained, so are they._ ~~

~~ _That's impossible! I am only the light._ ~~

~~ _And only the light suffer,_ ~~ the dark masters chuckled with glee.

~~ _You sadistic . . ._ ~~

~~ _Ah, ah, ah, silly girl. The light may put up with your impudence, but we will not!_ ~~

~~ _Do you think to threaten me? I am no longer the young child you sought to terrorize at each opportunity._ ~~

~~ _You are nothing but a silly girl who should be dead!_ ~~

Jaden squeezed her eyes shut and took a calming breath. The dark side had always been mean to her, it couldn't help it after all, but there was a difference between being mean and being vindictive. When she first arrived at the valley, they teased her mercilessly, would take over, and make her injure or kill the innocent animals that roamed the valley. They would anger her, causing her to strike at the light, be destructive, and create all kinds of trouble. The light would caution her against their tactics, to be wary of their motives, and she tried, really tried to be on guard, but the dark still managed to overwhelm her control. That is, until the day she learned of her mother's death at the hands of a Mandalorian patrol that were scouting Naboo as a possible target.

Jaden's heart still spiked with pain when she thought of her mother's death, but that was the day when she learned to control the dark side, and why the Mandalorians never attacked Naboo. It was also the day the dark side bestowed the title of Darth Tyr upon her and the light informed her she was now _the_ Grand Master. Jaden had learned all she could and had passed all her tests. She truly was the embodiment of the Force.

The dark side still tried to harass her but she was better able to control it, and when they failed to control her, they became vindictive. Just like now. Jaden smiled and opened her eyes to the gray mist. ~~ _Having trouble with the Sith'ari?_ ~~

They snorted, ~~ _He is not the Sith'ari._ ~~

~~ _I beg to differ since he ripped away that part of me. You can't control him either and that angers you._ ~~ _And I can use that anger to free myself._

~~ _Even you use our unlimited power when needed,_ ~~ they scoffed.

~~ _Ah, ah, ah, Masters,_ ~~ she said the term with derision as she always did, ~~ _you're beginning to sound childish. I am not the one who manipulated the Sith'ari, so you have no one to blame but yourselves. You entrusted Darth Traya with your chance for success in advancing the True Sith, it is your fault if you cannot control him._ ~~ The mist surrounding her began to darken and Jaden could feel the power building within her. _Just a little more._

~~ _Perhaps if you were out of the way, since it is his feelings for you, nothing but a silly girl, that interfere with his destiny._ ~~

~~ _Jealous?_ ~~ Jaden felt the first neural restraint disengage, and the mist began to fade. ~~_ Isn't that a little narcissistic, even for you, since he possesses a part of me and I am a part of you?_ ~~

~~ _You, silly girl, are nothing!_ ~~

The second restraint clicked open and the room came into focus. ~~ _Then neither are you. Be gone!_ ~~

Jaden took a deep breath as soothing warmth flooded through her body chasing the icy, sick feeling from her bones. She continued to take slow claming breaths as she closed her eyes and envisioned the restraints on her wrist and ankles. The process was slow, but she managed to free her arms and unlatched the rest.

~~ _You should rest, Child._ ~~

~~ _Masters,_ ~~ she thought with a grateful sigh. ~~ _How is Dustil?_ ~~

~~ _He will be fine. We apologize for having to call on them to free you, but you did well._ ~~

~~ _In angering them? Thanks._ ~~ She smiled faintly when they chuckled.

~~ _No, in using their power against them to gain your freedom. We knew they would taunt you, and again we apologize but you have grown to the point where you handle them easily._ ~~

~~ _They said the others restrained me, why?_ ~~

~~ _When Zared attacked, your attention was divided. To protect the boy you withdrew and were endangering yourself and also the ship. They felt it wise to restrain you._ ~~

~~ _I didn't hurt anyone, did I?_ ~~

~~ _No, all are fine. Rest now, Child._ ~~

Jaden was exhausted and weak so perhaps a little nap would help. ~~ _For a little bit._ ~~

* * *

When Carth told his parents that Morgana was pregnant, his mother squeaked with delight and almost immediately took her shopping for all things baby. Fortunately Morgana was a practical woman, otherwise Carth might still be paying off the bills and Admiral's were paid very well, but that wasn't what he really remembered as he sat with his fingers steepled under his chin as he watched Dustil. No, what he was remembering was what his father told him after the women had left. _ "Congratulations, son. From this point forward, that baby is going to be the best thing you ever do in your life," he said turning to Carth, "It will also be the one thing that will scare the hell out you." _ At the time, Carth thought he meant learning to handle a baby but now he understood that his father meant, Dustil would be the cause of his greatest fear; losing him.

When Dustil came out of the academy, the soldier in him was thrown aside as the father took over, terrified that he wouldn't be able to make this 'boo-boo' better. For the first time in a year Carth was genuinely thankful Jaden had given him the power of the Force. Not only did it steady him, but he also used its healing powers on his son. One of the hardest things he ever did was turn Dustil over to Atton, but he had to get to Tuluk, to punish him for hurting his baby.

Being unable to reach the bastard shifted something dark and evil to the front of his consciousness and having the need to destroy Tuluk thwarted by the light side only made him angrier. It wasn't fair that Jaden was the one to kill Tuluk. His need to protect his own was thrown aside because they thought she was the one betrayed, well what about him? Jaden and the Force had effectively eviscerated him as a father and left him feeling hollow and inadequate and he wasn't sure he could ever forgive her for that. Carth sat back in the chair and squeezed his eyes shut as a shudder of emotion wracked his body. He didn't want to need Jaden, hated himself for even thinking it, but he felt empty inside, like she had deserted him.

He got up and went to the small sink to splash water on his face, letting the droplets fall from his chin as he looked at himself in the mirror. He was pale, his features gaunt from exhaustion and weight loss. He hadn't eaten in days and it was beginning to take its toll as his eyes appeared vacant, dark, and dead. He hadn't looked this bad after the bombing of Telos or felt so alone. Using his sleeves as a towel, he wiped his face and returned to the chair to continue his vigil.

* * *

Zared stood on the bridge of the Gehenna and watched as half of his personal fleet positioned themselves around the asteroid field. It was still taking too long to search the field and his patience had run out. The Republic wasn't hounding him so why not take advantage of the situation, put his fleet to use and find the key that much quicker. When they were done, he would send them to various systems to cause trouble. He didn't want to show up at the site of the third key and find Admiral Onasi and the Republic Navy waiting for him. This way they would have to defend other systems. Divide and conquer not only the military but it would divide Jaden's attention as well, and for once the dark voices praised him for finally taking action. Zared told them to shut up.

"Milord, is it wise to have the fleet in one place like this," Captain Balla asked as he stood beside his leader silently wondering about this latest tactic.

~~ _We somewhat understand your fondness for the old man, but this one is truly useless. Why do you keep him around?_ ~~

Ever since Zared had decided on a course of action, the dark voices had let up on the death and destruction manta, but they were still a murderous bloodthirsty lot.

~~ _He knows which button to push to start the engines, now go away._ ~~

~~ _Impudence! You're beginning to sound like the silly girl,_ ~~

~~ _What?_ ~~ But he didn't get an answer. He frowned, thinking that was twice now they referenced a silly girl when Balla politely cleared his throat. "It is not your place to question my orders, Captain Balla. It is your place to follow them."

"Yes, Milord."

* * *

Jaden's eyelids began to dance to the heavy footfalls as they paced one direction, turned, and packed back. _Thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, shrrp, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, shrrp, thud, thud . . ._

"Is there a reason for your pacing, but perhaps more important is there a reason you're pacing in my room?"

"Did I wake you?"

"No, I always fake like I'm sleeping, waiting for Mandalore to come pacing beside me," Jaden turned her head just enough to open one eye and glare at him over her shoulder. At least he stopped pacing but the blaster cannon resting on his shoulder gave her pause, "Is the ship under attack or am I under arrest."

"I was told to guard you since you broke out of your restraints."

Jaden took a quiet breath and reached out to find the voice. The barriers were still there but they were weakening. "By the Admiral?"

Canderous chuckled and thought about lying just to rile her, but changed his mind. "No. It's been too quiet and that makes me nervous."

She sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed as she yawned. "What's been happening?"

"Nothing. Vandar took Queen Talia back to Coruscant now that Irudu is in custody, to testify before the Senate. Vaklu hasn't bothered my men on Dxun. Visas keeps trying to get Carth to eat, but he just sits with Dustil. General Lavek is flying in circles, literally, and Atton's getting rich scalping these poor saps at Pazaak."

"And that makes you nervous?"

Canderous resumed his pacing. "You don't get to be Mandalore by resting on your heels. If I was Zared, I would be hunting you down for what you did to me."

"Thank the Force you're not Zared then, because you'd be wasting time and not finding the key."

"But he said he was this close," he told her mimicking the thumb and finger action.

Jaden grinned at him as she began to swing her legs. "And you believe the dark side?" When her frowned at her, Jaden laughed, "It's in an asteroid field, Canderous."

"How do you know that?" he asked with narrowed eyes.

"Well," she said with a shrug, "I'll know when he finds it and if that isn't where he is, I've vastly underestimated Radha Amenusis and his intelligence."

"Then the past few days and your episodes were . . . what?"

"Zared was manipulating the key or something he found with it. It would have to be large or it wouldn't have effected me that way."

"But the key he drew for us on Korriban wasn't that big."

Jaden snorted, "Zared couldn't draw a stick figure."

"Well it didn't ring any bells for me and you claim I know about this."

"Like I said. Look, why don't you get Visas and rescue the soldiers from Atton's thieving ways and we'll meet in the conference room in a couple of hours. It's time to get the show on the road because you're right, it's too quiet."

"What are you going to do?" he asked nodding his agreement.

"I'm going to check on Dustil." _And break down that blasted barrier._

* * *

When the door to Dustil's' room opened Jaden found Carth sitting in the chair, his head propped on his left hand and his right foot tapping unconsciously with the machine beeping quietly by the bed. He looked terrible. He was pale; his eyes sunken, and his proud posture was slumped over in defeat as fatigue radiated from him. Silently she reached out, realizing that the only reason his barriers seemed weaker was because he was physically, and emotionally depleted.

Carth didn't bother to look her way before he said, "Visas, I'm not hungry." When the standard response of "But you must eat," didn't reach his ears, he turned his head and looked at her. "What do you want?"

Although the look was vacuous, Jaden recognized the strain around his mouth, and she felt a small tear in her heart. Ultimately she was the cause of that cold, empty, and stressed look. _I want you to let me in. I want you to hold me. I want you to tell me that it's going to be okay, because, damn it; you're not the only one hurting._ But she did tell him any of that instead asking, "How is he?"

"Maybe you should tell me," he said in an angry tone and looked away. "The doctor tells me he's healing fine but he won't wake up." He looked at her again and her heart tore a little more. "Why won't he wake up, Jaden?"

She shook her head as she approached the bed. When she reached out to take Dustil's hand, she found her wrist in a vice-like grip. Jaden winced but she didn't cry out.

"What did you do to him?"

"You're hurting me," she said calmly as she tried to take her arm back.

"What did you do to him?" he spit out with all the resentment and vitriol he had kept so close over the past days, in his voice.

Jaden shook her head, "Nothing. Please let go of me." There was more here than just Bastila and her betrayal. He was angry for another reason, and it was aimed at her, but instead of feeling the pain of his anger, all she felt was . . . nothing from him; a void that seemed to keep intensifying.

Carth flung her arm away and stood between Jaden and Dustil. "So what is it? A healing sleep? Some super-duper Force coma?" he asked each question as he walked forward forcing Jaden to retreat.

With each step back, she felt her heart break a little more as if the very fabric was being ripped in two. _I did nothing; I couldn't help him. I was the dark, and then Zared attacked me. I can't help him because you won't let me!_ She silently screamed.

"I guess my son isn't as important as Queen Talia. You didn't find it necessary to help him. You know how vital he is to me, but I guess I misjudged how important he is to you."

"He is important to me. You both are," she said softly as her back bumped into the wall.

Carth planted his hands on either side of her head, trapping her. "Does it give you a thrill to be all powerful, to know you decide who you help and who you don't? Is your God-complex good enough for the queen but not for a young man who thinks you're the next best thing to Tarisian ale?"

With each word he spoke, Jaden felt the knife twist a little deeper, the blood flow from her heart a little quicker. His eyes were filled with bitterness but that was only a cover for the stark sense of resentment and loneliness she felt from him.

"Answer me, damn it! Or am I like him, only important for one thing," he sneered crudely, "but I don't rate the benefit of your power."

Jaden opened her mouth to deny all of it, but she was so stunned he would think that, all she could do was gape at him.

"Leave her alone," came weakly from the bed.

Carth immediately spun around and Jaden let her body slump against the wall as she began to tremble.

"Dustil?"

"It's not . . . it's not her fault."

Carth grabbed Dustil's hand and gently squeezed as he brushed the hair from his sons brow. "You're awake!" he whispered fighting back the tears of relief.

"Don't blame Jaden," Dustil whispered looking beyond his dad to see her smile faintly at him.

"It's okay. You're awake, that's all that matters."

"No . . ."

"Dustil . . ."

"Not her fault."

Why did his son keep saying that? Carth knew of his feeling for Jaden but this was clearly . . .

"Your fault," Dustil said with a raspy voice. His father reared back as if he had been burned.

"My fault? I'm not the one . . ."

"You restrained her."

"What?"

"When you restrained her," he started again and then began coughing. Carth grabbed the water and held it to his lips. Dustil drank a little then closed his eyes.

"Dustil, this can wait. Whatever you think . . ."

"No!" Dustil opened his eyes to find Jaden, a distressed look on her face, leaving the room. He looked at his father. "When you restrained Jaden, you diminished her power. She couldn't help me or anyone else for that matter."

"Dustil, this is not the time. I know you have feelings . . ."

"Father, you're not listening. You diminished the power of the light side."

It was clear to Carth that Dustil wasn't thinking right. He didn't understand what had been going on then to wake up in the middle of conversation, no wonder he kept saying it wasn't Jaden's fault. Yes, Tuluk was the one to put him here, in this condition, but there were plenty of times since then that Jaden could have done more to help his son and she didn't. Carth didn't see how Dustil could blame him for that. He was ready to tell his son that, but his chief medical officer shouldered him out of his way.

"Dad . . ."

"It'll have to wait, junior," the tall, older man said.

~~ _He is correct, Admiral._ ~~

~~ _What?_ ~~

~~ _The boy, he is correct. The fault is yours._ ~~

~~ _No. She didn't . . ._ ~~

~~ _Admiral, before the Sith'ari attacked her, the child was with your son, as she is with all who are sick or injured._ ~~

~~ _The Sith'ari?_ ~~

~~ _The one you call the Exile. You see Admiral that is why she was unprepared for his attack. Her concern for your son divided the child's attention. When the Sith'ari struck, she withdrew into herself so your son, and others as well, would not be injured._ ~~

Carth looked around but Jaden was gone. He sank into the chair in the corner.

~~ _Restraining her, so she would not injure herself, was fine and shows compassion on your part. However, fitting her with the neural restraints limited her abilities, and ours as well._ ~~

~~ _If I . . . how did she get free?_ ~~ He asked as a feeling of mortification began to snake its way among the emptiness inside him. He never thought of how restraining would effect anyone else. Dustil had been his only concern.

~~ _It was necessary to call on the others to provide the strength needed to free her._ ~~

~~ _The others?_ ~~

~~ _Her other half, Admiral, the dark masters._ ~~

Carth let out a slow quiet breath as he watched the doctor and med techs poke and prod at Dustil.

~~ _Your son would have awoken days ago_. ~~

_And I wouldn't have sat here . . . I wouldn't have just accused her . . ._

~~ _She is our child,_ ~~ they said quietly. ~~ _When she hurts, all suffer._ ~~

~~ _But you're the Force. Jaden is only the light._ ~~

~~ _We asked you at the Valley of the Jedi if she should be less than what she is._ ~~

Carth slightly shook his head.

~~ _She is more than the light, Admiral. Jaden is very special and she cares very deeply for all she touches and she hurts just a profoundly as she loves. The fallen Jedi did more than just betray her; he ravaged something that she has felt kinship with for years and has worked so hard to heal. She set aside everything she has learned from us, to avenge not just her, but you and your son as well. _~~

~~ _Why do you tell me this?_ ~~

~~ _You know of the guilt she carries for events of the past. The child sees these events as her punishment, and because of this, she will not tell you, believing this is her way of atonement._ ~~

"Carth!" Startled to hear his name, he looked up into the face of his medical officer. "Dustil's fine. I'll keep him overnight but you . . . you need to eat and get some sleep. That's an order!"


	37. Chapter 36

"T3, please don't argue with me. Just tie the Ebon Hawks database to here," Jaden said quietly as she sat in the main conference room waiting for the others.

After she snuck out of Dustil's room, she went and cried on Visas's shoulder for a little while then went to Carth's quarters to shower. The tears were never far from her and her heart still hurt, but there was little she could do about it now. Jaden was afraid of what she might say to Carth if she saw him, so she was avoiding another confrontation. A part of her wanted to tell him everything she was feeling but another part, perhaps what little dark side she had left said frack it. This meeting would be a good way to get her mind off her thoughts and perhaps get her off the Sojourn and away from Mr. Trust-Nothing-Jump-to-Conclusions, quicker.

When Atton came in, he studied her for a moment before frowning. "You look like hell. How are you feeling?"

"Thanks, and I'm fine."

"You and poster boy get into it?" he asked sitting in the chair next to hers. Jaden gave him a sharp look and Atton put up his hands, "Sorry I asked. But if you want me to kick his butt . . ."

"What I want," she snapped, "is for you to . . . never mind." Jaden closed her eyes and took a calming breath. Atton didn't have the chance to respond as Visas and Canderous arrived.

"T3," she said when they were seated.

"Beep, boop, dwoo."

Jaden took a deep breath and rubbed her temples hoping the galloping Ronto in her brain would decide to take a break. This was the downside to being . . . corporeal but she pushed it aside and sighed, "The legend of the keys . . ."

Canderous interrupted, "We're not waiting for Onasi?"

"He's busy," she snapped, _thinking the worst of me,_ she thought as she picked up the stylus and began at the top of the screen and drew a box. Below that and to both sides, she drew two more boxes and connected them to the top box with lines. "The top box represents the masters, the Force. Below on the right is me, the other is Zared. It's like a scale." Jaden tapped the screen twice and a box appeared around her drawing then she moved it to the upper right of the screen. All of these actions were mirrored on the larger screen behind her. "T3."

"Dwoo . . ." the droid sputtered then beeped morosely at Jaden's dead look. On the screen appeared ancient text.

"What is that? I don't recognize it," Visas said.

"It looks familiar," Canderous added.

"It's an ancient language, a dead language, besides me only Radha Amenusis knows what it means, and his knowledge is limited."

"What language?" Atton asked studying the screen. Jaden watched as he tried to form the words and was pleased when she saw the look of recognition come into his eyes.

~~ _He takes another step, child._ ~~

~~ _Yes, but in which direction. He's just as likely to flee as to go forward._ ~~

~~ _Have faith in your smart mouth master Jedi._ ~~

"That's . . ."

"The language of the masters. It's how I communicate with them."

"You can read that?" Canderous asked with a snort.

"And speak it. This text is the history of the Valley of the Jedi and the keys . . ."

_Even millennia have millennia and consequently knowledge of time is lost but one thing will remain constant: there was the beginning. There was the Force. No one knows how the Force and the beginning are intertwined and that's not important. What is important is what comes after._

_The Midiclorians, which reside in almost every living thing, share a symbiotic relationship with the Force and they were the first to recognize the need for balance. Even among them, there were some that were discontent and wanted to use the power they possessed through the Force. Fortunately, both sides recognized that a struggle would devastate them and ultimately the collective consciousness they shared between the Force and every living thing, so they struck the first of three accords recognizing that light and dark must co-exist in order to survive, thus the True Jedi and the True Sith were created and the universe was divided equally._

_Thinking they had solved their dilemma, they soon realized that it wasn't just the Midiclorians that had this problem but the sentient beings, in which they resided, as well, which could prove detrimental not only to them but also to the Force. The beings of the galaxy fought, each struggling to gain more wealth, more land, more of anything they felt they needed for survival. Some early societies were wiped out, lost to the millennia's millennia. Others were charitable with those lesser than themselves, but they were quickly defeated and again lost to the millennia's millennia._

_Therefore, after much deliberation between the True Jedi and the True Sith, the second accord was struck, if one side became more powerful in the galaxy than the other, balance must be returned so that they could survive._

"Wait a minute," Canderous interrupted, "Are you trying to tell us that the Sith and Jedi work together to maintain balance in the Force?"

Jaden, using the stylus, brought her drawing back down and below Zared's name; she made a box and labeled it 'Sith'. She repeated the action under her own name and put 'Jedi'. "No," she said putting 'TJ' next to her name and 'TS' next to Zared's. "The True Sith and the True Jedi work to maintain balance, the Sith and Jedi you know are amateurs at it, wouldn't you agree?"

Atton tipped his head and gave her a questioning look. "Did you just insult me?"

_No, just a kick in the pants,_ she thought before saying, "No. But the history," she said pointing to the Sith and Jedi boxes, "hasn't exactly been all hugs and kisses now, has it?" Jaden drew an equal sign between her and Zared then added an arrow on top of that pointing to the Force.

"But Zared was a Jedi," Visas stated.

Jaden sighed, "I'll get to that in a moment . . ."

As part of the second accord, both sides agreed that each generation would have an embodier so that if it became necessary to restore balance to the Living Force, the embodier would be on hand, possessing both sides in equal measure. Because of the time needed for the Living Force to become so out of balance that the embodier was needed, the temple in the Valley of the Jedi was built specifically to be their home and training ground until it was time to fulfill their destiny. The temple represented the light and the dark and would be the symbolic home of the Midiclorians. Knowing the temple and the embodier would need to be protected; three keys were forged from the native ore, making them indestructible. One key represented the light; one key represented the dark, and one key was neutral.

"And no, the reason for the name has been lost in the passing millennia," Jaden said when Atton looked like he was ready at ask.

_Six men were chosen; three who followed the light and three who followed the dark. They were paired off, given the keys and told where to bury them. None of the men were told which key they carried or where the others were going to prevent collusion among the group. When the task was completed, they were instructed to return to the Valley._

"None of them did and although the Masters deny it, I think they knew that would be the outcome. Once each pair reached their destinations and buried the keys, the dark side struck at the light. I asked the dark ones about that, and I believe that they had nothing to do with it, that it was a 'nature of the beast' thing. Anyway, the first pair battled until they both struck fatal blows simultaneously and died instantly. The second pair, well, once the key was buried, the Sith struck down the Jedi. When he began to unbury the key, he was caught in the cataclysmic explosion of the planet."

"The asteroid field," Canderous said remembering what Jaden told him earlier.

"Huh?" Atton asked looking confused.

"Zared," Canderous chuckled, "is searching an asteroid field for the second key."

Atton's wicked grin was full of devious pleasure as he waggled his brows. "And the last one?"

"Tatooine. Same scenario, but the Sith was frightened off and the Jedi survived. He moved the key to the Krayt Dragons cave after he recovered from his wounds. When the Sith returned, he killed him then remained on Tatooine to protect the key. He died of a mysterious illness shortly after he sent his wife and son to Telos."

"Telos?" Visas asked sitting back in shock.

"Sounds to me like it was a suicide mission from the start," Canderous said.

Jaden shrugged then picked up the stylus and tapped it a few times. "T3," she said standing up. The beeps this time were laced with resignation but he projected a vid that looked like a long handled broom, its bristles spread in many directions.

"Hold it steady, you idiot droid."

"Atton," Jaden sighed. "This is the timeline, it's supposed to move." And it did, appearing as if the "handle" grew longer, slowly twisting into a stiff unchangeable rod. "We're here," she said pointing to where the bristles began to fan out, indicating all the different directions fate or choices could lead someone. "The end, here," she pointed to the straight, lopped off end, "represents the First Great Schism in the order when Xendar and his Legions of Lettow were formed. You could say this was the beginning of the written history of the Jedi and Sith."

"We're here for a history lesson," Canderous growled.

Jaden smiled at him, "No, because it bores even me. This is more for context. The Valley, the keys, and two of the three accords were well before this point, before the advent of hyperspace or the Rakatan's Infinite Empire. This point, where the line begins, is where the Sith you know also begin. After all, they are nothing more than fallen Jedi." Jaden went back to the table and drew a line down the slide between herself and Zared. She then added another box under her name and labeled it 'Sith'. She did the same under Zared and labeled it 'Jedi'.

"Balance," Visas said studying the larger screen. "So the Jedi also exist in the True Sith empire?"

"They're called Proditor's, it means traitor. When they pop up out of their hidey-holes they are quickly crushed."

"Unlike the Republic that takes a wait and see attitude until it's almost to late," Atton said with a small measure of disgust.

"And why the Mandalorians were able to sweep through the Outer Rim."

"She didn't say it was a perfect system but the Jedi believe in peace and are the guardians of such, choosing to use the Force and its power to guide their path, in the service of civilization," Atton said. "Better to battle what you see than strike at shadows," he added as he studied the timeline. When he noticed the silence, he looked at Jaden who had a faint smile on her face. "What?"

"You're sounding more and more like a Master Jedi, Rand," Canderous snorted as he shook his head.

"Oh hell no! I'd have to prance around in robes and give up drinking and Pazaak." Then added softly, "Not to mention women."

~~ _All right, Child,_ ~~ the Masters sighed, ~~ _They are baby steps but steps none the less._ ~~

~~ _And the order will thrive for thousands of years because of it._ ~~

"Damn it Jaden, stop looking at my like I'm a tasty morsel," he groused embarrassed.

"What ever you say," she cleared her throat, "Master Smarty Pants." Atton shook his head but there was a smile lurking at the corners of his mouth. "You can turn it off now, T3," she said sitting back down.

"So what happened with the keys?" Visas asked.

"Nothing, really. The Masters followed the accord, created the embodier for each generation, built their civilizations, and sniped at each other. Still do for that matter. There were a few times some came close to discovering one of the keys but since no record was ever made outside of the valley, no one knew what they were."

"Until now." Atton stated. Jaden nodded.

"What is it he found?" Visas asked.

"I think a better place to start is why he is looking for them."

"All right, why?" Atton piped in.

As Jaden got up to pace, the door to the conference room slid open and Carth and Kwyn walked in. _Great, now he shows up._ Jaden froze for a nanosecond before she continued standing. Her eyes met Carth's briefly but they were shuttered and hard to read. Reaching out she found the voice through the cracked and crumbled barriers to find desolation. The hope that had so briefly flickered to life a few days ago was now in ashes, replaced with dejection. Physically he looked better, having at least showered, but emotionally he was indifferent, beaten down by what had happened and her failure to protect him.

Kwyn mumbled their apologizes for being late as they sat at the opposite end of the table. Jaden gave him a faint smile, shut herself off from the voice, and began pacing as T3 put the ancient text back up on the screen.

Because the embodier possessed equal parts of light and dark, the Masters of both sides raised the child as they taught the child, in equal measure. Even the names used would be the same. Embodier would have the same number of characters as Sith'ari. When the child had successfully completed their lessons and trials they would become the Supreme Master of the Jedi and Darth Tyr, the supreme dark lord of the Sith.

Over time, each side promoted the legend of a perfect being, one that would bring balance to the Force, in hopes of creating something better the sentient life forms could believe in when hardship and strife struck at the galaxy.

"Over the millennia, the legend has become distorted as most legends do. Storytellers add or take away parts that may or may not fit the telling. As the story is passed down, it can take on different dimensions, but the meaning is the same."

"The embodier will restore balance," Canderous said with a frown. There was no side for the Mandalorians to align themselves. Regardless of the outcome.

"Yes. The Jedi defeat the Sith, or the Sith defeat the Jedi."

"Forgive my ignorance," Kwyn said, "but what's wrong with a happy peaceful galaxy?"

Atton answered, "Peace can lead to apathy, apathy can lead to complacency, which can lead in all sorts of directions, mostly it leads to decay in a society and civilization will soon follow. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger," he shrugged. "You didn't wake up one morning and suddenly decide to be General Kwyn Lavek, you had to work at it and that makes the reward more gratifying." Atton looked at the five sets of eyes that stared at him. "What?"

"You're killing me, Captain Rand. Should I call a tailor to fit you for those robes?" Canderous asked disgusted.

"Hey! I know first hand, as do you, that the struggles we face in life teach us, makes us stronger. We could have laid down, let the galaxy run over us but we didn't," he said looking at Canderous, "and because of that we recognize injustice and fight against it. If you still wanted to be a mercenary, you would, but that isn't who you are so you fought against your peoples downfall and decided to restore honor to the Mandalorians by reuniting the clans."

"As opposed to you who ran from Revan's service to hide on Nar Shaddaa. You would probably still be there if it wasn't for the Exile picking you up out of the gutter."

"He didn't pick me up out of the gutter, Mandalore; he rescued me from self destruction. I made the choice to follow the light because I was tired of always fighting my life, so I chose to change it, just as you chose to change yours!" Atton looked at Jaden and found that 'tasty morsel' look on her face again. "Now what?" he asked slamming back in the chair and frowning.

Jaden doubted Atton even realized what he just said. ~~ _Baby step, baby step, baby step, massive leap!_ ~~

~~ _To a teetering ledge, Child, tread carefully. _~~

"Nothing. I agree with you. The good, the bad, the ugly are found in each species, that's what keeps things in balance. The choices we make are a part of that."

"But this imbalance is larger than that, isn't," Visas stated quietly, but she too was pleased to see Atton acknowledge what his life had been and what it could be.

Jaden nodded and moved her first drawing back to the screen as she quickly explained what it was to Carth and Kwyn.

Kwyn frowned before hesitantly saying, "So you embody the light and Zared embodies the dark. But didn't you say there was only one embodier?"

"I did," she answered softly picking up the stylus and twirling it in her fingers. "Despite the two accords and knowing that they need each other, the Masters constantly struggle against one another. At times, you see the results of that in the various wars that have engulfed the galaxy. They don't instigate them and it's usually the dark masters that offer their power first, but that is only after a conflict has grown to the point where they see a benefit to them. Sometimes they step in out of sheer jealousy and drag the light masters along to protect and defend the innocent on both sides. The dark masters are a greedy lot, always looking for ways to expand the True Sith Empire. The light masters work to expand the knowledge of the people of the Republic, to make the civilization stronger though compassion." Jaden went to T3, and asked him to put the timeline up once more. When the holo-vid showed in the room she reached out and touched a spot not far from where the bristles began. A larger area appeared and she continued the process until she found what he wanted.

"That's Malachor V, when Revan gave the order to fire the Mass Shadow Generator," Canderous growled, the anger of that day still clear in his voice.

"Actually," she said touching the screen, "That's Revan and Malak at the Trayus Academy," she added pointing to the cloaked and masked woman with the jawless Malak beside her. She moved her finger and touched a small dot. The image enlarged to reveal a ship with Zared and Bao Dur standing on the bridge. "Zared, believing Revan was dead because she hadn't returned from the surface, gave the order to Bao Dur to fire the Mass Shadow Generator," she said quietly as they watched Zared turn to Bao Dur and nod once.

Even twelve years later, watching the destruction of the planet once more caused a horrifying silence to descend on the large conference room. As the others watched, Jaden relived the pain, heard the stark cries of the dying, and felt the loss of a part of her all over again.

Moments after the deed was done, Zared walked from the bridge to his quarters, collapsed against the wall, and sank to his knees. They didn't need audio to know he cried out, _'What have I done!'_ as he banged his head against the wall then began destroying his room. They watch the light fade from his eyes, the proud, cocky and fun-loving aura dim as he hands became bloody and mangled from the abuse as he overturned his desk, smashed the other furniture, broke lamps and glass scattered about the room. Suddenly he covered his ears as if to block out a terrible shriek that appeared to tear at his sanity as he tore at his hair. _My scream._ Moments later he fell to his knees then collapsed. _At the same time I did._ Slowly she reached out with a shaking hand and touched the point at the present and the timeline faded.

"Is that when he cut himself off from the Force?" The quiet question from Visas sounded like a sonic boom in the silence.

"Yes . . . and no."

"That's sound a little like being sorta pregnant. Either you are or your aren't." Atton pointed out.

Jaden gave him a sad smile before looking at Carth who was leaning at a slant with his chin on his hand. He had been quiet up to this point, and in a way, she hoped that would continue. While Atton and Visas knew what she truly was, he still believed her to be only the embodiment of the light side.

~~ _Child, please do not do this._ ~~

~~ _He has a right to know. They all do._ ~~

~~ _You punish yourself._ ~~

Jaden blocked out the masters as she went back and sat down.

"Zared has always had a strong connection to the Force. It was easy for him to bond with others, influence their decisions and actions as you all know. Kavar, Vrook, Atris, they all recognized it and spent extra time with him hoping to temper this connection, but they failed," she sighed. As she continued, her voice went from being saddened to being angry. "When he returned for his trial, they didn't tell him what happened because they didn't understand it themselves. They lied to him because not knowing was more terrifying then trying to help him!" _If they had only told him the truth!_

"It surprises you that the Jedi didn't do anything," Carth asked casually as he traced an invisible picture on the tabletop.

"I have every right to be angry, _Admiral_, because instead of this," she said hitting the drawing on the screen, "it should be this!" _What is wrong with you? This is not my fault! Why are you being so cold and indifferent!_ She hastily brought up a blank screen and drew a box at the top labeled 'Force/Jaden' then drew a long line through the box and the screen writing 'TS' on the left and 'TJ' on the right, below each of those she put 'S/J' or 'J/S'. "The only reason it's like this," she went back to the first drawing, "is because Zared took a part of me!"

Carth sat up straighter as he studied the two diagrams side-by-side. _What the hell? This is what I get for trusting her, more lies, more deception!_ He didn't think he could feel any worse yet the idea of crawling into a hole and dying crossed his mind if it would take away the ugliness he felt inside.

"Kwyn, to answer your question, I am the embodiment of the Force. The only reason I am the light at this point is because the dark masters saw their chance to stick to the light but good, so they enlisted Kreia through a deception of their own, to manipulate Zared to choose the dark side. In essence he became the Sith'ari instead of it remaining safely hidden away within me."

"And if he refused, chose the path of the light?" Kwyn asked cautiously.

"You'd be battling the True Sith," Canderous said, "because she knows where the keys are and Zared doesn't."

"No! There would be no battle, no Sith fleet wandering around the Republic. I would have collected the keys, confronted Zared and gone home with none of you the wiser." Jaden plowed her hands through her hair and hung her head before continuing. "Zared didn't just become a wound in the Force. There was so much death at Malachor V, and because of his strong connection, it overwhelmed him. He didn't recognize what was happening and like an overstuffed closet, he slammed the door to keep the throbbing from escaping. When he did that he . . . trapped a part of me within. Kreia slowly opened the door by manipulating him. When he showed up at the Sith home world, Radha recognized who he was and filled him in on the rest." Jaden looked up and saw the accusation in Carth's eyes. Before he could accuse her she said, "No, Admiral, I'm not defending him, only telling you what happened."

Kwyn was doing a fair imitation of a fish before he said, "Let me get this straight. You're the embodiment of the Force."

"Yes."

"Okay," he went on nodding, "and Zared, when he slammed this . . . door, kept a part of you."

"Yes."

"And Kreia . . ."

"With the help of the dark masters."

" . . . Right, turned him into this Sith'ari."

"Yes."

"But on the screen you show you're equal," he said shaking his head.

Jaden sighed and placed her elbows on the table with her hands, palms up. "The wars and the loss of so many Jedi have weakened the Republic," she said as she lowered her left hand. "There is a great deal of unrest among its citizens and that leads to darkness," her hand lowered a bit more. "Add in the strength of the Sith Empire," a little lower, "and the Sith'ari and the scales tips to the dark side." The back of her hand slammed into the table startling everyone.

"That's some hefty overwhelming odds you hope to defeat," Canderous pointed out.

"She only needs to defeat Zared," Carth said frowning and sneering at the same time. Jaden nodded. "She gets back what he has and the rest is up to us."

"Yes," she sighed watching him.

"Then the keys do what?" Kwyn asked. "I mean if balance is restored when you defeat Zared, what are the keys for."

"They reopen the temple to whomever wins," Carth answered holding her gaze. Jaden let all his disappointment, all his mistrust, and his pain flow over her.

"The second accord also states that if the Living Force becomes unbalanced, then once the embodier leaves, the valley will disappear until such time that the balance is restored. Look, I'm not an astrophysicist, so I don't know exactly how they do it, but somewhere out there is a hole in space. The keys," she shrugged, "fix it."

Atton frowned. "So if Zared gets the third key you'll cease to exist."

"Pretty much," she told him nodding her head. She felt a shiver run down her spine, so looked at Carth through lowered lashes, his mouth was slightly open, and he looked like he had been sucker punched. _Think of it this way Onasi, you won't have me to kick around anymore._

"Then we need to find the last key," Visas stated as she looked at Carth and Jaden. The tension between them was growing and that worried her. Jaden still wasn't strong enough to face Zared and Carth was disgusted enough that he could throw Jaden off the Sojourn.

"T3," Jaden whispered knowing this would be the last nail in her coffin so to speak. _Maybe this was for the best,_ she thought. As soon as she was able, she intended to take the Ebon Hawk and retrieve the last key. She was slowly dying inside, but if this was a way to get him to stay behind . . .

A hologram appeared behind her showing three obelisks forming the base and a round orb nestled within the points. The same writing that was in the text, adorned the sides of the obelisks. "This is the completed key."

Carth threw up his hands in frustration and disgust as he rose from the chair. "You told us you didn't know what to look for, only where." _Is there no end to her deceptions?_

"I lied," she said her face impassive.

He slammed his fists on the table and Jaden was actually glad she could feel his anger wash over her; it was better than the cold, empty indifference.

"Knock it off, Onasi," Canderous shouted, slamming his own fist on the table. "Even I recognize she did it to protect us."

"Why?" Carth demanded as he leaned forward, his knuckles curled into tight balls on the table as he glared at her.

Jaden looked at T3 and the droid put the hologram in motion, taking it apart by moving the obelisks to the side to reveal the key on the inside. Each of those then separated into three pieces.

"Katarr," Visas whispered.

"Corellia," Atton breathed.

"Telos," Kwyn said as Carth drew in a sharp breath before falling back into his chair.

"Yavin 4." Canderous told her.


	38. Chapter 37

Atton took a deep breath, sat back, and said, "Guess we know the reason why she lied, huh?" Jaden had gotten up in the ensuing silence and left with T3 after each of them stated from where they recognized the key.

"Somehow we are all connected," Visas told them with a slight frown. "I remember my mother telling me of a great wizard that helped teach my people to see through the Force. One night, he disappeared without warning but because of the things he had done for my people, they honored him with a statue. He is shown holding the key."

"My grandmother had this on a pendant," Atton said rubbing his brow, "and several of the temples on Corellia depict the completed key and the ancient writing." He then looked at Carth and Kwyn.

"There was a mosaic in the courtyard in front of the government offices," Kwyn said.

"What about you?" Carth asked Canderous quietly as he rubbed his temples.

"The key's on Yavin IV. We found it in one of the temples during the Great Sith War. I was a lot younger then, but Exar Kun thought it was important, that's one reason why he built his stronghold there. The Massassi warriors thought it was sacred. Qel-Droma attacked before Kun figured it out."

"And now Exar Kun is trapped in the temples, having drained the life of the Massassi warriors," Visas added.

Carth got up and began pacing as he thought _what a fracking mess._ His son's in the med-center, Bastila betrayed him, apparently, they are all connected to the key somehow, which happens to be guarded by the spirit of Exar Kun, and Jaden lied to them. To him.

~~ _The Child is not a strong tactician, Admiral. The choices she has made are out of concern for everyone's safety. You cannot fault her for that. And before you bring up the subject of trust, remember, you hold a part of her within you. A part she willingly gave to save your life, and against our counsel, so to say she didn't trust you is denying the fact that Jaden trusts you with her life!_ ~~

Carth was taken aback at the vehemence of the light. They had never been that direct before, he thought as he let out a quiet sigh. By the Gods, he hurt.

"I don't know," Atton sighed. "This doesn't make sense. You could show that holovid to anyone that spent time on Corellia and they would recognize the key."

"True," Kwyn said as he watched Carth pace. "I'm proof of that, so maybe this means you're all connected in another way."

"Who says you're not?" Atton snorted.

"Well, for starters I'm not Force Sensitive," he said wishing he had kept quiet when the conversation he had with Jaden popped into his mind about Carth and his connection to the Force. _I need to find something else to chew on besides my foot!_

"Jaden did mention that one of the Jedi sent his wife and child to Telos before he died," Canderous said casually missing the stiffening of Visas and Atton but not Carth's abrupt halt.

"What?" he whispered.

"Yeah, she said the Jedi from Tatooine, after he destroyed the Sith, sent his wife and kid to Telos. It's no secret that the Jedi sent those not chosen for training there either, right?"

"Yes," Visas said releasing a quiet breath as Carth began pacing again. "But that doesn't prove any connection to us." Overwhelmed was the only word she could think of to describe Carth at the moment because at any other time he would have been out the door chasing Jaden for answers.

"Well I'm not so sure about that," Atton said in an angry voice as he stood. "Jaden and Radha Aman-sneezy aren't the only ones that know that language. My grandmother knew it as well," he added before storming from the room.

"Are you sure the key's on Yavin IV?" Kwyn asked. When Canderous nodded, he also stood to leave. "I'll set a course." Canderous followed him mumbling something about stopping Atton before he did something stupid.

"Admiral," Visas said as she placed a hand on his shoulder. He turned his head and noticed they were alone. "Whatever conflict you feel, you must resolve it."

"How? None of this bothers you? Am I the only one that's upset that she admitted she lied, then drops a bombshell that we're all somehow connected to the key? I swear, Visas, it's like pulling teeth sometimes to get the truth out of her." Carth held her hand for a brief moment before resuming his pacing. "Even the Force, which just happens to be Jaden by the way, is telling me I'm not being fair, when she's the one who isn't being fair to us by not telling the truth!"

"She may be the embodiment of the Force, Carth, but she is also human, subject to the same failings, and feels the same as you or I. We would do anything to protect those we care about."

"Jedi are supposed to control their emotions," he reminded her as he thought of Bastila.

"You know Jaden isn't a Jedi she is _the_ Jedi and when she is complete she is also _the_ Sith. She has lived her life steeped in all emotions on both sides. The fact that she can function without the strength the dark side provides is remarkable," Visas said as she walked toward him. "You have a right to your anger, but she needs us, especially you, because it is your strength that sustains her."

_As her feelings for you, make you whole_.

* * *

Carth sat at his desk in the office behind the bridge his head down as he trolled his brain for some meditation technique Visas may have taught him when she trained him, but he couldn't find one. He was so exhausted he should be dead to the world, but his mind had different ideas. Several of them that tripped over themselves fighting for attention, so when the buzzer went off, he was thankful.

"Come," he said sitting back in the chair. Kwyn walked in with a bottle of Corellian Whiskey and two glasses.

"Thought you could use this," he said setting down the items and then sitting across from Carth.

"Thanks."

"Sure. And while you're pouring you can tell me if you're done being an ass, because I'm assuming that's why you're hiding."

"I'm not hiding," Carth said as he uncorked the bottle and poured the whiskey.

"Oh, cut the crap, you are too. You did the same thing when you and Morgan would fight."

"How would you know?" he asked with a frown.

"Because she would call me to see if you showed up at my place."

Carth shook his head but there was a resigned smile on his face. _Simpler times._ "I can't get my mind around it, Kwyn."

"Which part?"

"Pick one," he answered with a sigh.

Kwyn snorted, "Like I know where to start."

"That's just it. So much has happened over the past few days I don't know what to be pissed about first, and I have a feeling that's not all of it."

"What do you mean?"

"Ah, hell," Carth said raising his hands and shaking them in frustration, "I don't know," he took a drink. "The temple is her home, and she is the embodiment of the Force, so it makes sense now, seeing the True Sith depicted there. Even the statues of the six who buried the keys are there," he paused and took another drink, "and the flame, it isn't the Midiclorians, Kwyn, its Jaden. That has to be the reason why it flared when I got close to it. No wonder they said the Force recognized me."

Kwyn reached across the desk and took the glass from Carth. "All righty, I think you've had enough." Carth smirked at him, grabbed the bottle, and sat back. "Give me that!"

"Morgana was there, too."

Kwyn's hand paused mid-swipe, his eyes wide. "Excuse me?"

"And she's as beautiful as ever," Carth said reverently remembering how stunning his wife looked as she walked toward him down the path at the temple.

When he realized his best friend was serious, Kwyn downed the whiskey in Carth's glass. "You saw Morgan?"

"Held and kissed her," he mumbled with a far-away look on his face.

Kwyn downed his own glass then held it out for a refill. "Pour, then start talking."

Carth came back to the present, tipped the bottle to the rim of the glass, and began telling Kwyn about the Joining. He explained about the light, about going to Naboo and what Jaden had done for Morgana, granting her wish to see him once more. Kwyn knew more about his marriage than anyone so Carth was comfortable even telling him what they talked about and what happened with Dustil when he told him.

"You're not mad about that, are you? If you are it's you and me, right here, right now, buddy," Kwyn said with a frown as he studied his friend. Carth was a beaten shadow of himself; he could see it on his face and in his slumped shoulders. Whatever sense of character that burned within him was gone.

"Pfft, are you kidding? There isn't a big enough thank you in the universe for that one. Dustil's even back to calling me dad."

"Really?"

Carth nodded as he refilled the glasses and began telling him about the temple and what happened before he moved on to the events of Korriban. His voice was rough with anger but also a sense of vulnerability that surprised Kwyn, if for no other reason than he recognized the fear in Carth's words.

"Darling?" Kwyn asked as he scooted the chair back out of range. "Are you jealous?"

Carth rolled his eyes, "What I am is in Zared's debt for saving Dustil." He sat forward and cradled the glass in his hands. "Am I wrong to be pissed because they . . . Jaden, kept me from Tuluk?"

"No," Kwyn answered quietly. He knew he was going to have to tread carefully. Carth talked about his anger but said nothing about the dark side and since Jaden said he didn't know he had fallen, Kwyn didn't want to be the one to enlighten him. "I was a little upset I couldn't do some damage myself."

"I wanted to kill her," Carth said softly then looked up. "Bastila, I mean. I wanted to kill her for putting Dustil in harms way."

"I think you'd be at the back of the line for that one," Kwyn said quietly. The men that had been in the hangar each wanted a shot at Bastila for what she did. They were loyal to Carth and to see him so distressed about Dustil, well that loyalty had turned to protectiveness not only for their commanding officer, but also his son. "After Jaden ordered everyone out of the hangar except Vandar, I half expected her to do the job for you, but Bastila was alive and well, although shaking like a Wroshyr leaf when they boarded the shuttle. After watching the security tape I see why."

"Jaden did what?" he asked closing his eyes then sighed, "What happened?"

"See for yourself," Kwyn said using his feet to scoot the chair forward before reaching over the desk to bring up the tape. "I'm not sure it'll stand, but it certainly was effective."

Carth watched, fascinated, as Jaden took Bastila to task for her actions. Not just for Dustil, but for Bastila's whole Jedi career. When the recording was over, he stood and went to the window. "It'll stand. Vandar won't go against Jaden's wishes." _You took away that retribution as well._

"Truthfully, I'm surprised Jaden even did what she did. When I saw her pick up those crystals I thought Bastila was a goner," Kwyn told him as he propped his boots on the corner of the desk.

Carth leaned against the window frame heavily and sighed as he remembered what the light masters had told him, '_She set aside everything she has learned from us, to avenge not just her, but you and your son as well._' "Tuluk was the exception, Kwyn, and the only reason she destroyed his crystal was because he hurt Dustil. And me, and you, and Visas, and Atton, and Canderous, and anyone else you can think of." He pushed himself away from the window and drained his glass. "And you're absolutely right. I am an ass."

"What did you do?" Kwyn asked with the resigned tone of _'What now?'_

"Besides the neural disruptors, which limited her abilities, I accused her of not helping Dustil, using me for one thing, and not caring about either of us."

"That is with a capital "A" right?" Kwyn asked as saw Carth chuckle as he sat back down. "You need to fix this, because neither of you can afford to be distracted."

* * *

When Zared arrived on the bridge, Radha and a few of the historians had taken over three of the scanning stations, and were drawing odd looks from the crew. The men who normally worked them were standing off to the side looking nervous.

~~ _He presumes too much!_ ~~

~~ _He's finding the key._ ~~

~~ _He's undermining your authority._ ~~

~~ _Shut up!_ ~~

~~ _Do we need to remind you that you are the Emperor of the Sith, that you command all, including your historian?_ ~~

~~ _Do I need to tell you again that I control you, that I command you!_ ~~

The voices didn't respond and he silently smirked as he walked to the nervous men. "Lieutenant."

"Milord!" the short man dressed in gray snapped to attention. "My apologies Milord, but the historian just barged in and took over . . ."

"It's all right Lieutenant. I gave him permission to _monitor_ the stations; he must have misunderstood in his old age." Zared tapped his ear. "Bad hearing."

"I hear fine, young one!"

Zared rolled his eyes and excused himself but told the Lieutenant to take his men to the auxiliary control room and continue scanning. The man saluted and the three of them scurried off as Zared walked to Radha and leaned forward just enough to look over his shoulder.

"This is much like cooking, young one; the pot will not boil if watched."

"Ah, more of that snappy Radha repartee."

Radha sighed and turned to Zared. "I'm doing the best I can, youngling."

"I know," he said quietly. He was asking a lot of the old man, and it was beginning to take its toll. Radha's shoulders sagged and tiny lines of exhaustion fanned at the corners of his eyes. "After all, it's always the last place you look."

"Ah," the old man smiled tiredly, "more of those snappy Zared zingers. Were you this witty when you followed the light?"

"Hardly," he drolled, "I think I killed Master Vrook more for admonishing me over the years for my sense of humor, than for being a Jedi."

"Which one was he?"

"The perpetually crabby, cantankerous one."

"Ah," Radha said turning back to the screen and quietly instructing his colleague to make some adjustments.

"Those blasted voices have nothing on him."

~~ _Thank the Force he followed the light!_ ~~

Zared nearly spit out his teeth as he began coughing and pounding on his chest.

"Young one? Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he said taking a deep breath fighting back the grin. _Who would have thought . . ._ "How much of the field is left?"

"We are down to the final quadrant. It shouldn't be much longer," Radha answered.

"Good. Captain Balla," he shouted over his shoulder. "Notify the other commanders to pull back to a safe distance."

"Youngling, what are you planning to do now?" he asked with patient resignation. Although he could read Zared fairly well, Radha had learned that the man had lightning quick changes of heart if he wasn't getting his way.

"They keep whining I never use the power I possess, so now's a good a time as any," he said with a shrug as he began walking away.

~~ _At last!_ ~~

"Well, don't bite off more than you can chew," Radha told him.

Zared paused, turned at the waist, tipped his head, and looked at the old man with a raised brow. "Are you hungry? That's the second time you've referenced cooking."

"Perhaps a cupcake or two," he answered with a sly grin.

Zared ground his molars together to keep a straight face. It probably wouldn't be a good thing to burst out laughing on his own bridge, evil dark lord, and all that.

"By the time the other ships are out of the way, I will have scanned a quarter of the quadrant. You can destroy that."

"Gee thanks, dad," he mumbled shaking his head in resignation.

Radha was true to his word though, and by the time the other ships communicated, they were out of range, he informed Zared, with a touch of sarcasm, which area he could obliterate. The old man began giving him instructions on picturing the area he wanted to destroy. He was to imagine a box in order to control the . . . Zared put his hand over Radha's mouth.

"Captain Balla, raise the shields."

"Thavwonhelf." Zared removed his hand. "That won't help. Remember, when the Sojourn was first attacked, Jaden destroyed several of the . . . shielded fighters simply by thinking it."

Zared frowned. He had lost several good men that day, but snapping Captain Wen's neck with no more effort than the thought, had made up for it. Stupid idiot, he could have killed Jaden. He turned to Balla. "Then brace for impact."

He closed his eyes and did what Radha suggested, picturing the emptiness of space surrounding the hundreds of asteroids.

~~ _Feel the power within you build. Call upon all that you are, the Sith'ari, the embodiment of the dark side. The dark is stronger than the light; we offer unimaginable power. Though power, you gain victory. Through victory . . . _~~

~~ _Oh, for the love of . . . would you just shut up!_ ~~

~~ _Insolence!_ ~~

Zared reached out and grasped Radha's elbow to steady him, as he visualized the power of the dark side in his mind, growing like violent, black storm clouds on the horizon, lightning licking out, seeking its next victim. They intensified as they engulfed the asteroids, bleeding into nooks and crevasses. Stepping deeper into his power, he saw the moment of implosion at an infinitesimal level as each of the asteroids, large and small disintegrated into dust as the storm clouds swept them aside like they were nothing. The tremor of power rolled over the Gehenna resembling angry waves on a violent, turbulent sea, setting the alarms screaming to mingle with the cries of the men being tossed to the durasteel floor. As the deck rolled beneath him, he gripped Radha's arm more firmly when he felt his mentor begin to fall away. Exhilaration shivered through his body to interact with the immense feeling of satisfaction as he pulled the sensation closer; let it caress him as a lover would. When the feeling began to fade, he opened his eyes and found Radha staring at him as if he was a stranger. "That was fun," he said struggling to calm his galloping heart. Radha continued to stare at him. "What?"

"Radha, come quickly!"

The old man smiled at Zared briefly before going to his colleagues. Zared wasn't sure what to make of his behavior, but now was not the time. Dismissing the thought for the moment, he wandered over to Captain Balla for a status report.

"General!" Radha called out as he quickly shuffled to Zared, his robes flapping about his feet, threatening to trip him. "Youngling, we found the key!"


	39. Chapter 38

Carth jerked awake, listening in the darkness, wondering if the moan he heard was real or a dream. Shaking it off, he closed his eyes only to have them pop open at the point between sleep and awareness. This time he leaned up on one elbow and looked at the door, had he heard a thud? The next sound, like a crash of furniture, had him throwing back the sheet, jumping from bed, and grabbing a pair of drawstring shorts. When he turned on the living area light, he found Jaden on her hands and knees beside the front of the couch, the small rectangular table tipped at an odd angle across her back as if she placed her hand on the corner before it flipped.

She'd been asleep on the couch when he returned to his quarters and saw no reason to wake her. They both needed a good nights sleep since it was time for their long overdue talk and he intended to have all his questions answered. Including why the droids were treating him like a pariah. T3 had given him the cold shoulder, turning away from him when he asked about Jaden. And HK? Well, he was ready to follow through on the threat he made to the droid when HK tried to bar him from his own quarters; Carth threatened to disembowel the droid, one wire at a time while he was still active. Thinking on it now, as he rounded the couch, the assassin droid would probably enjoy it.

When Carth lifted away the table Jaden cringed away from him and began mewling in the back of her throat. "Come on," he said reaching for her and found his hand slapped away. "Jaden . . ."

"Leave me alone," she whimpered, striking at him again. _Forgive me!_

"Damn it!"

"I'll replace the table," she snapped. _I never meant to hurt you!_

"I don't care about the damn table," he growled, reaching for her again.

Jaden reared back and scooted away from him. Her eyes were filled with tears, her face flushed, and she was shivering. _Please don't hate me._

"What happened?" He asked realizing strong-arming her wasn't the answer. "Was it another nightmare?" He needed to remain calm and keep his anger in check.

Jaden shook her head, keeping her eyes on his hands. "Just leave me alone." _Let my heart die a quiet death._

"Tell me what is going on."

"Nothing," she barked. "Go back to bed, Admiral." _But take me with you; love me as you have in the past. One last time, let your arms be my shelter, your touch the means that makes my blood sing, your whispered words of love the last I remember when I die._

"No." This time he was quicker and grabbed her arm, but she still took a shot at him with her free hand, catching him in the corner of his left eye. He turned his head away, sucking back the pain through his teeth as they wrestled for a few minutes before he was able to capture her in a way so she couldn't hit or kick him.

"Let me go," she growled. _Hold me closer._

"Not until you calm down and tell me what's wrong," he said resting his cheek against her hair.

"What the hell do you care? You won't believe me, you're not big on trust, remember," she stammered as she struggled against him . . . _and all because of me!_

Sighing, he lessened his hold. "I'm sorry. The things I said to you were hateful and I knew that even as I said them." Carth absently rubbed her back. "I didn't realize what restraining you would do and I'm sorry, truly sorry for my words and actions," he added softly.

Jaden didn't look at him, kept her head down not bothering to wipe away the tears as they dripped from her nose. "You hurt me, Admiral. Because of what I am, I will never know the joys and heartache of having my own family, so for you to accuse me of abandoning Dustil, and using you," she sniffed. "Well, you made it perfectly clear that you believe my feelings mean less than nothing; that I mean less than nothing." Her ragged whisper tore at him.

"I was . . . am angry that you and the others kept me from getting to Tuluk. I needed that," he said as he let her go, sitting on the floor to lean against the couch. Jaden bent her legs to her chest and hugged them as she rested her forehead on her knees.

He went on, "Then hearing of Bastila's betrayal and thinking of Dustil's injuries because of that, I wanted her dead. But, there you were riding in to save the day. You killed Tuluk and you kept me from," he looked across the room as he swallowed. "You did all of that, but there lay Dustil, still as death, not responding. It felt like you had abandoned him . . . and me. You got vengeance for your betrayal, so no need to pay attention to Carth and his feelings."

"You shut me out!" _Cast me aside with your unconscious cruelty._

"I didn't know what restraining you would do." The anger was there in his eyes, but also a plea for understanding.

"When you learned what Bastila had done, you threw up those barriers, that even after all these years, I couldn't get passed," she whispered looking at him. _You were lost to me._

Carth inwardly cringed when he saw the misery in her eyes. "What are you talking about?"

"Almost twelve years ago, I sat at the top of the tallest tower at the temple and watched Admiral Karath position his fleet around Telos," she told him then looked away, her features clouding over with sorrow. "I knew what Malak was planning, but the Admiral had always been faithful to the Republic. When I looked into his heart, I was saddened to see it blackened, like a cancer, growing, and feeding, hungry for power. There was no hesitation when Malak gave the order to destroy the planet, but an almost child-like glee that he had been given permission to have a cookie.

I couldn't stop it any more than I can keep a sun from rising, so I sat there and watched hell-fire rain from the sky, igniting the landscape and boiling the oceans. I could smell the metallic odor of molten metal, mingled with the coppery scent of blood and the reeking stench of burnt and charred flesh.

I knew the Republic would be to late, I could see their frantic rush to reach Telos, but by the time they would arrive it would be finished. All I could do at that point was welcome those that were returned to the Force, promising them peace now that the pain was over."

The mesmerizing tone of her voice brought back the vivid images he relived for months afterwards, but they were accompanied by acute pain. He reached out to take her hand, but Jaden leaned away from him before going on in a quiet, saddened voice.

"For hours, I sat there listening to the cries for help, knowing it would come too late, and that I couldn't do anything. The pleas for death, the agony of those looking for someone, the screams of anguish when they were found dead or burned so badly a blaster bolt to the head was the only mercy left to them. The screams of terror as the rumbling of collapsing buildings quickly silenced the outcry. The agony, torment, and grief of one voice that rose above the cacophony of a dying planet. Its suffering and mourning were as sharp as a razors edge; the bitterness and sense of betrayal was a living, breathing beast.

For weeks, I stayed with the voice trying to provide it comfort in its darkest hours and as time went on the bitterness and betrayal were manifested into mistrust, but at least the voice no longer thought about silencing itself. It had found a new purpose and although it saddened me, I knew the voice would survive." She swiped at her eyes as she took a shaky breath.

"Over the months and years, the voice was never far from me and when I saw it slipping toward despair, I would reach out to offer my silent support. It found its revenge, only to be betrayed again, literally moments later. It took a step toward redemption for a perceived failure when it found something lost. It even took a chance on love once more." Jaden looked at Carth and found him with his eyes closed, his fingers steepled over his nose, his breathing ragged.

"For years I tried to heal the damage the Force had caused the voice. It didn't deserve the agony and the treachery it suffered, because at its heart it was good, steadfast, honorable, and loving." She reached out and moved his hands while turning his head toward her. When he opened his eyes, they were ravaged. Jaden went on, speaking softly, "I never knew who the voice was until I restored your life. Once I recognized you, Morgana's pleas made more sense to me, and meeting Dustil, well now I had the answer as to how to heal a voice I had felt so close to and protected for years." _I thought I had found the means for my redemption._

"On Korriban, however, I had to set aside the voice so I could protect it and all it held dear, but when it learned of its latest betrayal it began to methodically rebuild every barrier I had removed over the years, reopen every wound, every scar I had healed." _Or thought I had._ "It pulled its bitterness and anger around itself like a cloak on a frigid day. I tried to reach the voice but I couldn't get passed the barriers. When they did finally crumble all I found was emptiness," she said searching his eyes. _And once again, I realized I had failed._

Carth didn't know what to say. He did feel empty inside and it terrified him. To learn Jaden had been with him all these years, comforting and watching out for him, made him feel even worse when he remembered what he said to her in the med-bay. He should feel violated, that somehow, Jaden had manipulated him, but he couldn't bring the emotion forward. She had saved him.

~~ _Now do you understand, Admiral?_ ~~

~~ _Yes . . . No._ ~~

~~ _She wept the night she heard the voice, panicked when it went silent for a time before she found it again. This one event is the cause of her guilt._ ~~

~~ _But there have been other wars, other tragedies she couldn't prevent._ ~~

~~ _This is true, but there was never a voice that touched her as yours did._ ~~

Panic raced through him. ~~ _Did?_ ~~ He was reluctantly afraid of what the past tense of the word may mean. _To lose her now . . ._ "How do I fix this," he whispered, frantically searching her face for an answer.

"I don't know, Admiral." Jaden told him as she turned away. "Perhaps this is for the best." _My punishment for my arrogance in thinking I could right a wrong._

"_NO!_" The one word was sharp and emphatic.

Jaden stood, needing to move away from him. Her own pain, mingled with his emptiness threatened to overwhelm her. She desperately wanted to take him in her arms, to give him comfort as she had for so many years, but she realized she could no longer do it. _I was a fool to think I ever could._

~~ _Child?_ ~~

~~ _Do you remember when I brought you that baby bird that had fallen from its nest? I was distraught that it wouldn't move and I tried to heal it. Do you remember what you told me?_ ~~

~~ _Sometimes things can't be healed._ ~~

Jaden stopped at the door to the bedroom and turned to Carth. "Zared found the second key. I'll take the droids, Atton, and Canderous with me. You'll need to alert the military to watch for Zared's fleet and when you reach Coruscant, Visas can help the Jedi prepare."

Carth gave no indication he heard her except to close his eyes when the door control chimed it was locked.


	40. Chapter 39

The Gehenna had pulled as close to the small asteroid that held the key as they could. There was still a great many of the small jagged rocks floating around, and while Zared didn't believe they would harm the ship if they impacted the hull, he wasn't about to take the chance. He was so close to the prize, he didn't want anything to go wrong, and so he sent a small shuttle to the leisurely spinning hunk of mineral and metal. It was slow going for the small ship as it weaved and dodged the flotsam floating around and Zared was becoming impatient. Ever since he destroyed the field, a sense of . . . lacking had begun to snake its way through his system. He wasn't sure if it was from the drop in adrenaline or the fact that Radha hadn't spoken to him unless necessary since he destroyed the field. What he did know was that several times, as he stood on the bridge watching the progress of the shuttle, he wanted to reach out with the Force and crush the obstacles in its way.

~~ _You hunger._ ~~

~~ _What?_ ~~

~~ _You hunger as you have in the past. The power, our power feeds you and when you do not use us, you hunger,_ ~~ the dark voices said matter-of-factly.

Zared snorted at their complacent tone, but was surprised when he found his hands clenched into fists at his side, unsteady as he stood at the window.

~~ _You see? When you do not feed, you become unsteady, much like the starving man in a desert that has no food or water. You have finally tasted the strength, the true strength of the power we offer and soon you will need, no, crave more. _ ~~

Zared closed his eyes and took a deep breath. ~~ _Your pathetic attempts to control me will not work._ ~~ He felt their frustration grow and found it curious. Reason hadn't been a tactic they used before so he was wary.

~~ _Bah! We do not wish to control you, but if you persist down this path, thinking you are stronger than we are, you will lose all that you want, all that you desire, and you will be defeated!_ ~~

Ah, he thought, there was the anger he had grown to know and loathe.

~~ _Do you really think, are you truly that arrogant to believe that your enemy is weak? That she won't use the power of the light to achieve victory? You are the Sith'ari, the embodiment of the Force, the dark side of the Force yet you behave as if there is still good in you. You concern yourself with the thoughts and feelings of others. You command the Sith Empire; its physical power is at your fingertips, yet you worry what one man might think of your actions! Your enemy may concern herself with those ideals as well, but trust us, in the end, she will sacrifice what is necessary to achieve her goal. Your destruction!_ ~~

~~ _And how do you know this? _~~ He demanded. The fact that they had struck close to a nerve unsettled him. ~~ _She does not posses the strength of the Force that I do. She concerns herself with their feelings and the deeper she draws to them the farther they are from sacrifice, especially him!_ ~~

~~ _Believe what you will, but when you are on your knees, devoid of what you are and asking how, then, perhaps, you will understand._ ~~

~~ _Shut up!_ ~~

Zared, fear mixed with anger, spun on his heel, and began to leave the bridge. They were wrong, it was only another trick to make him lose control. There was no hunger for power within him. He knew what he possessed, what he could do, and when the time came, he would use it to crush Jaden. She would be the one on her knees, devoid of the light side, wondering how she could have lost. A trick nothing more, but it had the desired effect. Before the door closed at his back, he spun around and shot out a wave of dark power, obliterating all but the shuttle and the asteroid, which held the key.

There was a sinister chuckle, ~~ _All to easy._ ~~

Zared slowed his pace and took long, deep breaths as he made his way to the conference room. They had done it again; made him lose control. The power of the dark side skittered along his nerves, sparking and racing throughout his system. Ruthlessly he shoved back the feeling of satisfaction, knowing that is what _they_ wanted him to feel. _Yeah, well, not this time!_ It was a struggle, but when he arrived at the conference room he was back in control, and Radha would only cement that feeling. It was curious, though, as to why they worried about Radha's counsel. The man was a historian, and yes, Radha was someone he could call an ally, but he was no threat to the dark side. There was, however, something else he wanted an answer to.

"After I destroyed the asteroids you were giving me a strange look. Why?" Zared asked as he walked in and found Radha waiting in the main conference room for the team sent to retrieve the key.

"Was I?" he asked as he absently organized the long, black table to make room for the new items.

"Yes. You looked at me as if I was a stranger," Zared answered as he approached the old man, his hands on his hips.

"Perhaps because you were. You said it yourself that it was fun," he said absently.

"It was," he admitted. _All right,_ he thought, _I'll concede that much to them._

"To the point you would do it more often?" Radha paused what he was doing and looked at him.

Zared raised a dark brow. "What are you getting at," he asked.

"Was it fun because you like fun things, or was it fun because the power of the dark side made you feel invincible."

He thought for a moment and found he wasn't displeased with the answer. "A little of both, I guess," he responded with a shrug. "Why?"

Radha studied him a moment before sadly shaking his head. "Because I have often found that those drunk on power are nothing more than petty dictators, striking at others simply because it makes them feel important. There is no compunction about lying, or cheating or even committing murder and the more they tighten their hold, the more systems that will slip through their fingers."

~~ _Do not listen to him. He is old, set in the old ways. Your youth and vision will forge a stronger Sith Empire, one capable of crushing the Republic and your enemy!_ ~~

~~ _A few minutes ago, you were quick to tell me I would fail. Which is it,_ ~~ he silently snapped. "What do you mean, Radha?"

"A velvet fist does not allow much to escape."

"That sounds like light side wisdom," he snorted as he rolled his eyes. "Be wary the velvet fist, young Padawan," he added sounding like a stuffy old Jedi master, shaking his finger.

Radha smiled at him, most of his displeasure with Zared melting away with the smart retort. "Youngling, power is a drug and therefore can be addicting. It must be used in measured doses, otherwise one can lose sight of its usefulness in the quest for the next high."

"So I shouldn't go around destroying asteroid fields."

Radha sighed as he studied Zared. He was the answer to advancing the True Sith Empire, yet at times, he was annoyingly dense. "Why does the Kath-Sith fail?"

~~ _Because they are weak!_ ~~

~~ _No._ ~~ "Because they are drunk on the power of the dark side, using it, they see themselves as invincible."

"Very good, young one. It is a tool to be used for strength, not as a bludgeon to gain blind obedience to their will. A dark lord may see the power the dark side provides, thinking they will use it to strengthen their position for the betterment of all, but the ease and enticing results of the power, will soon overwhelm them and they will become tyrants until their apprentice tires of the abuse, or grows hungry enough to strike, and defeats them."

~~ _Do not listen to him. Use us to gain all that you desire! Destroy your enemy, take your place in the Valley of the Jedi, and rule the galaxy!_ ~~

~~ _Shut up!_ ~~

"Help me clear some of this away. Now that you have destroyed the rest of the asteroids, the soldiers will be returning soon." Although he said it in a normal tone, Zared felt the disappointment behind the words. He had known it was foolish to lash out and that Radha would know of it, so he did as the old man asked in silence. When he saw him try to move something heavy, Zared would push him out of the way and take care of it himself.

"You were good to your mother, weren't you?" Radha asked tipping his head as he studied him. He could destroy what ever stood in his way just as easily as he could show kindness to an old man. Was this dichotomy a part of his ability to draw others to his side?

Zared shrugged, embarrassed. "I don't really remember. I couldn't have been more than seven when they came for me," he said remembering the day he and his buddies were playing and he jumped from a tree to land on Master Kavar.

"The Jedi?" Zared nodded in response. "Did you have a favorite Master?" He paused what he was doing and gave Radha a strange look. "I'm just making conversation," Radha added with a smile. "You don't talk about that time very much."

Zared frowned and rolled his eyes. "What is there to talk about? They filled my brain with a bunch of Rancor crap, and brainwashed me into believing their truth, justice, and the Jedi way. When I did what I felt was best to save the exalted Republic, they turned their backs on me, threw me out of the order." He was surprised by the anger he still felt. It may have set him on his true path, but their refusal to see their error in not acting sooner angered him still.

"For defying them. Why didn't you go back to Revan?"

"Like she would have taken me in," he scoffed. "I couldn't feel the Force. In her mind I would have been less than useless," he added moving some tablets.

"Did she tell you that?" Radha asked somewhat surprised.

"Not in so many words," he said softly remembering when he arrived on the Sith home world and found Revan . . .

"If you've come for training I cannot help you. You're no good to me without the Force although you could prove to be a delightful diversion." She said as she walked around him in a circle, assessing him. Her dark hair was pulled back exposing a pale face and her dark eyes. Faint lines and cracks marred her face, thanks to the dark side. She was never stunning, even growing up together at the enclave, he recognized that, but what had made her beautiful were her strength and her confidence. That was one reason why the Jedi followed her to war. Hunger for power and fear is what turned them into Sith.

_He arched his brow as the mark on his back began to gently throb. When she stood in front of him, she stopped and looked at him. In a casual move, he raised both hands in a gesture that signified _ 'What can you do', _and said, "Oh, I think it's back." He flicked his wrists and Revan found herself yank to his chest._

_Her smile was slow, seductive and full of so much arrogance Zared mentally shook his head before bracing himself for her attack. Force Lightning at point blank range wasn't something he would recommend, but he was ready for it, and when it came, he let it flow over him as he absorbed it._

_When Revan realized she was still held prisoner in his arms, she began to struggle against him. "What trick is this?" She demanded. Zared reached up and yanked on the ponytail trailing down her back. She cried out as her head snapped back and Zared held her chin so she would have to look at him._

"_I am rubber, you are glue . . . what bounces off of me, sticks to you," he whispered then grinned at her. As Revan sputtered her outrage, Zared released her and patted her butt a couple of times as he sauntered past her, confidence streaming off him. "I'm no one's general anymore, honey."_

"You didn't like her much, did you," he asked, remembering with a slight smile as he stacked some data pads. _Oh, how she had tried to break me._

"She did not bear the mark of the Sith'ari," Radha snapped with a frown. She was also a bitch, making unreasonable demands, causing unrest among the troops, and raiding the archives. Revan would subtly criticize and demean him and the other historians, and he did not appreciate her presence, so when Zared subtly took control of the Empire, he was relieved. Radha doubted Revan even knew what Zared had done, but others did and owed him their loyalty.

Zared let it drop. He knew some of the history between Revan and Radha, and quite frankly, he didn't care. He was, however more interested in something that had flitted in and out of his mind of late. "Why didn't the Jedi recognize my mark?"

"Because they didn't know what it means. To them, the embodiment of the Force is a legend. I imagine over the years the idea of the One True Jedi or One True Sith in this case, became more of an ideal than a reality."

Zared began chuckling but it quickly turned into a full-blown laugh. "I bet the historians were scrambling when Jaden showed up," he said still sniggering. "I can only imagine what Admiral Onasi thought when he learned that bit of info. Did I mention he's a Jedi now? Got the saber and everything."

Radha, remembering the story of Isano asked, "You find that funny?"

"He hasn't exactly had good luck with the Sith or the Jedi and now he is one. He must have flipped when Jaden told him of his connection to the Force."

"If he is connected to the Force, surely others in his family were Jedi," Radha said frowning. It was possible that the Admiral knew nothing of his connection to the Force, but Radha had a difficult time believing that. Even if he didn't before, he must understand that he is strong in the Force now.

"Not that I know of. Well, Dustil joined the Sith for a bit but that was a fluke, I think." Zared chuckled again and shook his head, "Darth Carth."

"Clever."

"I thought so, but no one else did," he said with fake admonishment as his hand covered his heart and his blue eyes twinkled.

"Took you to task, did she?"

"Not too bad," Zared said softly with a slight smile as he looked at the obelisk that represented the light and Jaden. It sat in the corner pulsing quietly, inexplicably drawing him in. Gathering his courage, he walked towards it slowly, missing Radha's pause and surprised look.

The obelisk didn't flare, didn't hiss, and didn't spit as he approached. Its pulsing, like a calm heartbeat, beckoned. Carefully he turned his head, scrunched his nose, and had one eye open as he reached out and touched it. A heavyhearted feeling began in his fingertips and spread up his arm. "Something's happened," he whispered.

"What?" Radha asked quietly as he approached Zared, watching him run his fingers over the side as if he was caressing his lover before placing his palm against one side and closing his eyes.

Zared's mind clouded and a sad, aching feeling rolled over him before parting to show Jaden lying on a bed, curled in a fetal position with a pillow hugged to her chest. Although her breathing was steady in sleep, it was clear she had been crying.

"_What's wrong, Darling?" he asked as a gray mist swirled around his ankles._

Jaden's eyes opened and she looked at him. "_Nothing,"_ she gave him a sad smile, "_Cupcake."_

"_Darling," he sighed, "stupid isn't a good look for you."_

"_Did you love her?" she asked as she moved the pillow aside and sat up, crossing her legs. She was wearing a black ribbed sleeveless tee and he had to admire the definition in her arms. Still looking soft, the muscle in them was unmistakable. Her bare legs, well, he thought clearing his throat. Zared looked back into her green eyes dull and clouded. _

"_Do you love him?"_

"_I asked you first."_

"_I asked you last," he said with a grin. Jaden returned it, but her head was tipped to the side clearly indicating she wanted an answer. "I'm not sure I did. She was special to me, but I can't say I miss her," he shrugged uncomfortable with the admission._ Not like I will miss you, _he thought_.

"_Yet you sent your fleet after me for killing her."_

"_No, I sent my fleet after Admiral Onasi thinking he had killed her. Why are you asking?"_

"_It can be the greatest gift you can give, and one that can cause the most pain," she whispered as she looked toward the gray horizon. Zared followed her look and was surprised to find the gray fog was everywhere. The room she had been sleeping in was gone and it was only the two of them and the mist. Jaden was now dressed in a gown of white, which clung to her curves._

"_Where are we?" he asked in a stilted manner as he looked around, thoughts of Revan gone._

_~~ Idiot! ~~_

"_Don't call her that!"_

_Jaden chuckled. "I think they were referring to you."_

_Zared spun around. "You can hear them?"_

"_Yes," she said getting up and walking to him. She ran her fingers between the high neck of the tunic he wore and his skin, moving his dark hair from the collar as she looked into his blue eyes. She rested her hands on his shoulders letting his darkness warm her. "You cannot hear the light? _

_~~ You fool! You have allowed your feelings for your enemy to cloud your judgment and now you have walked into a trap. ~~_

"_He has done no such thing!" Jaden snapped. "Don't get your microbes in a knot. You know as well as I that we cannot harm one another in this place." _But that doesn't mean he will be leaving unscathed, she thought.

_~~ Do not lecture us, silly girl, ~~ they sneered. ~~ Your screeching is bothersome. ~~_

"_Uh, Darling?" _

"_And your dark side drivel bores me," she retorted sharply, but then her eyes lit up as she smiled at him. "You have feelings for me?"_

"Uh . . ." was all he could say. Stunned, astounded, thunderstruck, flabbergasted . . . he was running out of adjectives to describe how he felt hearing Jaden argue with the dark side with no fear, but anger and annoyance. But those thoughts paled as her touch pulled at him.

_~~ Child, is this wise? ~~_

_Zared jumped at the soothing voices, before grabbing her by the shoulders. "Jaden? Where the frack are we?"_

_Jaden looked up into his eyes and saw the carefully guarded fear lurking behind his intense gaze. Slowly she reached up and placed her hand on his cheek. The warmth of his skin comforted her and brought back with clarity what she had to do. This belonged to her, the warm of the darkness. Maybe that's why she had failed in healing Carth; she didn't have the balance of reason to see the hopelessness of her actions. "We are two halves of a whole, Darth Tyr. When you touched the obelisk, you brought us both here."_

_~~ You're a fool if you believe her. It is a trap! ~~_

"_Shut up!" They both shouted at the dark masters but for different reasons. Zared just wanted them to be quiet. Jaden didn't want them to tell him what his presence here would cost him. She tamped down the regret that slipped through her._

_Zared stepped away from her and ran his fingers through his hair. Jaden watched him for a moment, fully understanding how he was feeling. The first time he touched the obelisk, she had been overwhelmed by darkness and he had been repelled._

"_They are right about one thing; you shouldn't be here," she said softly._

"_Where is here," he asked again, looking around at the gray nothingness that swirled around them, as his fingers trailed down her arms to take her hands. It felt like he couldn't get enough of her, she drew something from him that made him want to touch her._

"_This is what we are, Zared. If it were only I, it would be pure white. Because you are here, your darkness . . . taints the light. My resistance was down and that allowed you in." Had she unwittingly called to him in her weakened state? Wanting the strength of the dark side, he had taken from her, to deal with her heartache and failure to heal Carth?_

He raised a brow and gave her a disbelieving half-smile. "And why is that?" he asked curiously then remembered that he saw she had been crying. Coupled with what she asked him about Revan, the leap to the reason for her tears wasn't difficult. The smile faded, his eyes narrowed and his grip on her hands tightened as the gray mist became darker and Jaden winced at the pain radiating up her arm. "What did he do?"

"_He's done nothing," she whispered as she forcefully shrugged off his hands. "I brought this on myself." His anger still lapped against her in waves, but at least it wasn't direct contact. Jaden knew she should have thrown him out the moment she opened her eyes and saw him._

"_Damnit Jaden," he said stepping toward her again._

"_You have to leave," she murmured taking a step away from him. The pain his presence caused was deepening within her, threatening to overcome her._

"_Darling," he said as he reached out and grabbed her shoulders, again._

_Jaden put a hand to his chest. "I'm sorry, Zared," she whispered before softly kissing him. She waved the hand at her side and faded from his grasp._

* * *

"Youngling?" Radha asked, startled when Zared cried out and collapsed at his feet a few moments later.

"He hurt her," he growled as the sharp pain in his chest began to fade. It wasn't as bad as Korriban, but that didn't mean feeling ripped in half was pleasant either. As he tried to catch his breath, parts of the vision were fading and he desperately tried to bring it back. The Force? No, it wasn't possible it was something else. The obelisk belonged to the light, Jaden was the light, that's why he saw her, nothing more than that, but why couldn't he hang on to the vision. She did something to him. All he remembered . . .

"What?"

. . . She had been crying and it was Onasi's fault. "That bastard! I'll kill him."

"Who? What did you see?"

But Zared didn't have the chance to respond. The door opened and the other historians hustled in leading the parade of soldiers carrying the artifacts they had recovered.

Radha placed a hand on Zared's arm, startled by the cold he felt. "Youngling, whatever you saw you must set it aside," he whispered worriedly.

"Why would he hurt her?" he asked shaking his head as he rubbed his chest. _Jaden had been crying . . ._

Radha's head pulled back in surprise. "You wish to destroy her."

"That's different," he snapped with more heat than he intended. A large part of the vision had faded completely, as if it hadn't happened. _Why can't I remember all of it? What did she do to me?_

~~ _You are only one more sacrifice in her goal . . ._ ~~

~~ _Shut up. _ ~~

~~ _She uses the power of the light to manipulate you._ ~~

~~ _Shut up!_ ~~

~~ _As we told you before, when you are on your knees, devoid of what you are and asking how . . . _~~

~~ _SHUT UP!_ ~~

"If you are conflicted, young one . . ."

"No!" Zared glared at Radha as the floor began to tremble. He may not remember the entire vision, but he did know one thing for certain. "Once I control the valley, I can torture Carth Onasi." _Starting with the short hairs!_

* * *

Hours later, Zared sat at the end of the long conference room table with his chin on his hand, poking at the second obelisk with his booted toe. When the small monolith was set beside the first one, the energy of the light side kept pushing it away like a magnet repelling a similar pole. "Must be testier than I thought," he mumbled and ordered the thing moved. He looked toward the opposite end of the room and sighed. Still sore, even after the blockers, he couldn't remember the entire vision and it was making him crazy. It was as if a vital piece of data had been wiped from his memory.

Radha was back in full historian mode mumbling, "Interesting" each time he picked up one of the items. When Zared touched the new key, he found his hand slapped. "Go plot your strategy to destroy the Republic."

That was two hours ago and Radha was still scanning the old data pads. Each time Zared asked if he found something, he told him no. It was to the point now that Radha simply said "No" about every five minutes or so. He wasn't about to tell Zared he was looking for a journal instead of clues to where the third key was. Radha liked his head right were it was. Whatever Zared saw in the obelisk had put him in a foul mood. Besides, the other historians would find it soon enough. It was the history he was after. When he found what he was looking for, he stifled his shout of glee and sat down . . .

. . . I almost told them no, unsure of why I had been chosen for a mission to bury a key, but the voices were quite insistent, ensuring me of the importance of this task.

_I went, of course, to the unknown planet in a sector of space I was unfamiliar with. There I found a temple, perched on a high plateau, surrounded by mist, and although it was austere, I knew in my heart I had reached the center of knowledge, life, and death; I had reached the point of my existence . . ._

Radha skipped past the descriptions of the temple. He couldn't have cared less.

_. . . There were others, two who were like me, good men who worked tirelessly to help those less fortunate than ourselves. Isano and Ti'Fis. The other three were hard men, always sneering, always posturing, and threatening each other, always trying to prove who was stronger. Our opposites. _

We were paired off, and it didn't take long to see that the voices had paired Isano, Ti'Fis, and myself with one of the others. Unfortunate in that. I had hoped to learn more about Isano. He was a veteran of many wars but he didn't speak of any acts of glory or heroism and I got the impression that he was a . . . reluctant war hero. Regardless of what I wanted, we were each given an obelisk and a key and sent to various points in the galaxy to bury them . . .

_Ugh,_ Radha thought, _this Jedi was overly verbose._ Not very historian-ish thoughts but none of this interested him.

_. . . This whole journey, the man called Lavir has glared at me. I tried to engage him in conversation, but he just grunts, tells me it is none of my business, or tries to make himself seem more than what he is; which is a thoroughly odious being and there is no doubt in my mind he will kill me at some point . . ._

"Have you found anything?"

"No," Radha muttered frowning at the interruption. He scanned ahead though this Jedi's ramblings about his life, mumbling "blah, blah, blah," quietly until something caught his eye . . .

_. . . I miss her. Pheris Marr. Even her name is melodic, as was her voice, her movement as she walked across the floor, making her beauty more precious to me. A fascinating woman, almost as fascinating as her species, the Miraluka. They are a Force sensitive race that lost the sense of sight. Apparently, the sun of their home world, Alpheriies, caused them to lose their ability to see visual light and just now, they are learning to see through what I now know is called the Force. _

_Oh Pheris, I never told you that now I know why I have wandered the galaxy for years searching for a purpose and my place. I have found it with you, among your people. _

If I survive this mission for the others, I will return to my beautiful, beautiful, Pheris Marr and the Miraluka . . .

"Young one? Whom does Jaden travel with?"

Zared stopped poking at the obelisk long enough to raise a brow and give Radha a speculative look. "Why?"

"Indulge me."

"Onasi," he said spitting out the name like it left a bad taste in his mouth, "Mandalore, the droids, Atton Rand, and Visas Marr. Why?"

"Is Visas a Miraluka?" he asked casually.

"Yes," Zared answered drawing out the word as he narrowed his eyes.

"Tell me about her," Radha said as he continued to scan the journal, missing Zared's narrowed look.

"No."

Radha looked up quickly. "Why not?"

"She's off limits, old man," he growled with a malevolent look.

Interesting, he thought studying Zared's stony countenance. He did pull off the don't-frack-with-me look quite well. "You cared for her?"

_Of course, I care for her,_ he thought; _she wouldn't be off limits otherwise._ There was no way he was going to discuss Visas with Radha, so he changed the subject. "Why won't this thing do anything?" He poked at the obelisk with his boot once again. Visas's voice, gentle manner, and soft calming voice, even in her darkness, were his and his alone. Of the others that refused to go with him, she was the only one he truly forgave.

"_I cannot go with you, my love. You must travel to a place I cannot follow," she said softly as they stood at the bottom of the Ebon Hawk's ramp on Malachor V. While Zared had been at the Trayus Academy, Atton and the others had managed to free the ship from the chasm that kept it from plunging to the core of the planet._

"_Visas, I want you with me. Together we can find the True Sith, lead them as one," he said taking her hands and drawing her close. He was desperate to convince her to go with him. She truly understood what it was to embrace the dark side and her counsel was invaluable to him._

"_Zared, if I must lose you, let it be while we both live," she said softly as she traced his face with her fingers, committing it to memory. "If I saw you die I would want to join you in death."_

"_No!" he snapped, gathering her in his arms._

"_Then you understand. Your destiny lies along a different path."_

Radha didn't need his glasses to see that Zared was lost in thought and subsequently had slammed the door on the discussion. Again, like Isano, Radha saw no reason to enlighten Zared about his beliefs. _You're a clever girl, young Jaden, to gather the descendants of three of the original six. I wonder, though, for what purpose._ Getting back to Zared's question about the obelisk, he answered, "Well, it's not following you around, so I imagine it's the neutral key."

"Following me . . ." Zared sighed and shook his head but there was a grin sneaking through, his first in hours. "If it doesn't do anything, then why," he waved his hand toward the corner, "did Jaden's obelisk push it away?"

"That was curious, but I don't know. Perhaps all three need to be present to come together. Think of it as a lynchpin, young one."

~~ _You waste time chitchatting while your enemy speeds toward the final key. Your key!_ ~~

~~ _Then tell me where it is!_ ~~

The pause was significant. ~~ _We cannot,_ ~~ the dark voices said quietly.

~~ _Then what good are you to me,_ ~~ he silently snapped as his anger began to boil. He hated being played for a fool and he was beginning to suspect that's what the dark voices were doing. They pushed, they railed, they spouted dark wisdom, but they were selfish when it came to sharing their knowledge. He had no doubts they knew were the key was, they were just playing with him.

~~ _Impudence!_ ~~

~~ _Shut up!_ ~~

Radha looked at the key that represented the light side, Isano, and Admiral Onasi. He picked up the journal and looked at the neutral key that represented the gray area of the Force, Xela, and Visas Marr._ Perhaps,_ he thought, _it is time to search the entire Sith archive._


	41. Chapter 40

Impatient, edgy and simmering with anger because he couldn't remember the vision, Zared took Radha's advice about plotting the destruction of the Republic and summoned the commanders of each vessel accompanying him and conferenced in the others. Some _thing_ was gathering at the edges of his mind and he knew it wouldn't be much longer now before he and Jaden had their final confrontation.

Since Radha had taken over the conference room, Zared stood on the bridge of the Gehenna and stared at the stars flying by. His commanders were standing at attention behind him and that was just fine. Let them wait. However, light or dark, patience was never one of his stronger virtues, as Master Vrook always told him, so he turned and studied each man. There were years of experience among them and not a single one possessed the power of the dark side. Revan may have been the Dark Lord of the Kath-Sith, but her near fatal mistake was having a second in command that possessed the dark side with visions of grandeur. Malak. That was something he would never repeat.

~~ _So you can be taught!_ ~~

~~ _Shut up._ ~~

~~ _You misunderstand,_ ~~ they began in oily voices. ~~ _We do not insult you, but praise you for learning a vital lesson for the Sith'ari. There can be only one. _~~

~~ _Yeah? Well with friends like you, who needs someone else to stab me in the back?_ ~~ The dark voices sighed, actually sighed and he frowned. He was about to ask the voices about that, when his muscles tensed hearing Captain Balla's voice grate along his nerves.

"Milord?"

Zared pinched the bridge of his nose and drew on what little patience he had left. _He's a good commander, he's a good commander, he runs a tight ship, and I don't have to do it when he's here. He's a good commander; he's a good commander . . ._

~~ _Yet he constantly questions you. You know his loyalty still lies with your dead apprentice._ ~~

~~ _Revan was not my apprentice._ ~~

~~ _And she wasn't your equal,_ ~~ they spit_._ ~~ _The silly girl is more your equal than that Shutta would ever be!_ ~~

~~ _Stop calling her a silly girl,_ ~~ he demanded as something tickled at the back of his mind.

~~ _Would you prefer we call your enemy the Supreme Master of the Jedi? The Jedi Lord? Maybe we should call her our daughter,_ ~~ they chuckled sarcastically. ~~ _She is nothing but a silly girl who should, and by your hand, will be dead!_ ~~

~~ _At least we agree on that, but perhaps you should just use her name when you refer to her in my presence._ ~~

~~ _Find some harlot to spend your passions on. She is not worth it. Besides, do you really believe she thinks of you when she lies in his arms, hot, sated and sweaty from sex . . ._ ~~

~~ _Shut up,_ ~~ he told them as his hands fisted at his side. _It had been a while and there were slaves onboard._ Setting his carnal thoughts aside, he approached the first man in line, still standing at attention.

"Captain Juneg," he said. "Take your battle group to Froest. I understand some of the Republic fleet may be in dry dock. Draw out what ships you can, destroy them and any others who resist. They won't be needed."

"Yes, Milord," the gray haired man bowed with a smile.

"Captain Nodrak, take your ships to Sleheyron. I want you to send a team to discover what refineries are dedicated to producing the fuel for Citadel Station at Telos. Knowing the Republic, they were so desperate they probably agreed to an exclusive deal with Vogga the Hutt. Also, find out if there are specific tankers in route to Telos. If there are, destroy them."

"But what about our need for fuel?" Balla asked stunned at this request. When Zared mentioned causing trouble for the Republic, he thought it would be more along the lines of harassing the Republic Navy; not jeopardizing what would be needed once they took over the galaxy.

"I'm sure you'll think of something Captain Balla," he snapped.

"But why Telos?" Balla asked truly confused and concerned about the general's actions. He was beginning to wonder about his mental state. His mood changes were becoming more frequent.

"Because Malak was sloppy," he sneered. "Instead of wiping all life from the planet, he should have wiped the damn planet from the galaxy!" With Zared's angry shout the air began to vibrate around them. He still couldn't remember the whole vision except that Carth had hurt Jaden and that wouldn't go unpunished. He may not have access to the Valley of the Jedi as yet, but that didn't mean he couldn't start his torture of Admiral Onasi. What better way than to bring back the stark reminder of his wife's brutal death and kill whatever hopes the Republic had of rebuilding the planet.

~~ _Excellent. Use your anger to cause your enemy pain. It will distract and weaken her!_ ~~

"Milord . . ." Captain Balla questioned.

Zared ignored him and moved on down the line. "Captain Wenrif, you will go to Nar Shaddaa and meet with Vogga the Hutt. I trust you can persuade him to halt his shipments of fuel. If not, the galaxy won't miss one more Hutt crime lord."

"Yes, Milord. I'll see to it personally." Wenrif was a little older than Zared, but gained his command at a young age through strength and deceit.

Zared reached out and patted his shoulder. "Good man. After that, I want you to go to Manaan. It's the primary source of Kolto for the Republic. The Selkath have counted on remaining neutral by supplying Kolto to both the Republic and Sith so they are lightly armed. You shouldn't have too much trouble effecting a regime change."

"Milord . . ."

Zared continued to ignore Balla "Commander Hytak, the navigator has a list of renegade Sith worlds and academies that Revan knew about. I want them checked out. If they still exist, investigate for any worth to us strategically and in terms of troops. If they're of value, leave a detachment to await further orders. If they're Kath-Sith, destroy them. I won't have the True Sith Empire contaminated."

"Kath-Sith, Milord?" He asked with a curious look on his well-weathered face. Experience radiated from his lined skin and Zared guessed him to be almost Radha's age, but retirement had never entered Hytak's mind. When Zared had asked, the man simply stared at him a moment before saying, "If it's all the same to you Milord, I'll die at the helm."

Zared grinned at him. "Sith-wannabe's"

Hytak returned the grin. "Yes, Milord. What of the Dark Jedi?"

"I'll leave that to you."

"General Zared!" Balla snapped in an impatient tone. Revan never brushed him off when he served in her fleet but since the Exile took over, things had steadily begun to go downhill in his opinion. He wasn't sure how Zared had wrested control of the Sith Empire from her, and she never mentioned any concerns about it to him, but Balla was beginning to suspect the Exile had perhaps used some type of mind trick on Revan.

Zared's hand shot out. "You know what captain? You have questioned me for the last time." Captain Balla began gagging and clawing at his throat. "Nothing I do seems to please you and you forget your place. Yours is not to wonder why, yours is but to do," his fingers snapped into a fist. "Or . . . die!" Balla's neck shattered with the action, the sound echoing through the silent bridge. When Zared released his death grip on Balla's neck, his lifeless body crumpled to the floor.

~~ _It's about time you dealt with his insolence. Excellent work, Sith'ari. Disrespect such as his must be dealt with swiftly and with finality._ ~~

"Anyone else wish to question my orders," he asked as he looked around the bridge. Most of the men were still working, acting as if nothing had happened. He saw a few smirks on the faces of the other ship's captains. Balla wasn't a popular guy so maybe this was for the best. The last of Revan's rule was now gone. He nodded to two guards at the door and they hurried to carry the captain's body away. _Crap,_ he thought, _now I have to command this ship. I hate commanding ships. I'm an Emperor for Force sake!_

"Milord?" One of the men on the view screen asked. "What orders do you have for the rest of us?"

Zared looked at the screen. "Harass the shipping lanes, take out any Republic cruisers you come across except for the Sojourn," _Damn promise_, "be pests," he said waving his hand. "Dismissed."

The view screen went dark and the other captains bowed smartly at the waist before filing out to return to their own ships. Zared put his hands on his hips and looked around. "Lieutenant Ebs."

The man, a few years younger than Zared snapped to attention then approached. "Yes, Milord?"

"Find the Sojourn and set a course for Coruscant. While you're at it, keep an eye out for the Ebon Hawk." He didn't doubt Jaden knew he would turn his attention to causing trouble for the Republic, which meant the Sojourn would be needed elsewhere leaving the Ebon Hawk vulnerable.

"Right away, Milord," he said as he turned to go to the navigator.

"Ebs, you wouldn't be interested in being captain, would you?"

The young man turned then briefly looked at the spot where Balla had died. He took a breath for courage and looked Zared straight in the eye. "Not particularly, Milord."

Zared coughed into his hand to cover his laugh. He had guts; he'd give him that. "I didn't think so, Admiral Ebs."

~~ _You trust his loyalty to promote him like that?_ ~~ The voices were incredulous.

~~ _Of course not, but he knows which buttons to push._ ~~

~~ _Afraid you'll throw the ship into reverse._ ~~

~~ _Ha, ha. You should go on the comedy circuit . . . you'd knock 'em dead,_ ~~ his tone was dry as dust. _~~ Go away._ ~~

* * *

Jaden woke at the first light of the simulated sunrise in Carth's room. She rolled to her back and rubbed her eyes. ~~ _Masters?_ ~~

~~ _Yes, child._ ~~

~~ _Will this hideous pain ever go away?_ ~~ She looked at the bedroom door wondering if Carth was on the other side. She was afraid to reach for the voice, knowing its emptiness would only cause her more pain.

~~ _In time it will fade._ ~~

~~ _Which means no,_ ~~ she told them with a resigned sigh. ~~_ I want to come home._ ~~ The pain Zared caused by his presence in the light last night had faded, but the other ache still throbbed in her soul.

~~ _Soon Child. Do not despair._ ~~

~~ _Kinda hard not to. I feel as if I lost my best friend._ ~~

~~ _No child, but no relationship is without its struggles. The measure of a man's character can be taken by how those struggles are handled. Is it worth fighting for? Or is it not. Sometimes fear is mistaken for weakness._ ~~

~~ _You sit around thinking of Jedi-speak, don't you,_ ~~ she accused petulantly.

~~ _A wise man recently said that the struggles we face in life, teach us, and makes us stronger. It's up to each of us if we allow the galaxy to run over us or not._ ~~

Jaden snorted through her nose. ~~ _Don't you mean a smart mouth Jedi_ ~~ she asked with a grin slowly creeping over her face as she remembered Atton's speech in the conference room.

~~ _Wisdom can come from unexpected places._ ~~ When they paused, she braced herself. ~~_ The intent is not cruel, but you must set aside your pain. You are getting closer to the critical hour. You must be focused._ ~~

~~ _I know,_ ~~ she sighed as she threw aside the pillow and sat up. Not being focused had allowed Zared into the light last night, and although it turned out fine for the most part, it could have been disastrous.

~~ _You must retrieve what the son of Isano holds._ ~~

~~ _I will. Just . . . not yet._ ~~

~~ _Jaden, you owe your gratitude to the dark ones for their selfishness in that they have not told the Sith'ari that he can become one with the darkness as you do with the light. And the reason is quite simple; they are stingy and narcissistic when it comes to their power._ ~~

~~ _I know. And if Zared realizes that he can do that, that he has the knowledge to do that . . . _~~

~~ _You must be whole. _All_ that you are, child, you must possess. What you retrieved from the Sith'ari last night, will aid you in retrieving the final key on Yavin IV. The other side benefit from this is that his memory of all that took place will be limited._ ~~

Jaden sighed as she got up and went to the view port. ~~ _But he could remember._ ~~

~~ _Yes. There are other things to be done in order for balance to be truly restored and we trust you will complete those tasks, and while we trust your judgment, time runs short, child._ ~~

_I'm glad someone does,_ she thought as she turned from the window and headed for the shower, stripping as she went.

Jaden set aside her thoughts of Zared. The situation was contained for now and worrying about what he may or may not remember would only distract her. Her bigger problem was the dull ache that pulsed with each beat of her heart. She kept telling herself it was for the best, to leave Carth and the voice behind. After all, once she was home, she would be able to grieve in private for the death of the voice. The only problem with that was the voice was attached to the man she loved. So, what did that make her? As the embodiment of the Force, she had allowed his world to be destroyed, his family torn apart, multiple betrayals, his trust in others to become tattered . . . then to think she could heal all that hardship when she was the one that stripped him bare. Maybe there was more dark side arrogance in her than she believed. _The dark masters must love this._

With a sigh she picked up the first shirt that came to hand, put it on then stopped. _Clean break_, Jaden told herself as she stripped off Carth's shirt, gathered the others, and returned them to his closet. Emptying the rest of her bag, she also returned the two sleeveless tunics and a pair of socks. She picked them up again then resolutely put them back. "At least my bag will be lighter," she mumbled putting on her own clothes. She felt confined. Obviously, her shirt was smaller than Carth's but it wouldn't matter much longer in her simple three-step plan: get the key, confront Zared, go home. She wouldn't need clothes after that.

She slung the bag over her shoulder, took a deep breath for courage, and unlocked the door. She saw Carth's back stiffen as he stared out the window at the slow moving stars in the vast vacuum of space. A numb emotion needled its way along her skin.

"Dwoo?"

Jaden went to T3 and crouched down in front of the droid. "Take HK and get the Ebon Hawk ready to go," she said quietly.

"Beep, deet, broop?"

"It'll be okay," she whispered in response to the forlorn question as she patted his 'shoulder, the point where his legs connected to his stout body. T3 scooted off as Jaden reached for her boots to tug them on.

"I'll notify you when I have the key. I'm also going to inform Zared. That may alleviate his attacks around the Republic," she said stomping one foot. "After that, you'll need to be ready to defend Coruscant and the Jedi Temple. I would suggest evacuating as many as you can from the area." She stomped the other foot, stood, and reached for her jacket. "I'm still not strong enough," she said in a flat tone, "so before this goes down . . ." Finishing the statement would make the situation to real for her to handle at the moment. She again slung her bag over her shoulder and headed for the door.

"Jaden," Carth said quietly before turning to see her hand pause as it reached for the door control. "I don't want to feel like this anymore." _Don't blow this Onasi,_ he thought as he approached her as if she were a skittery animal. _You screw this up; you may as well walk out an airlock._ "I don't want to feel like I've been hollowed out," he said softly when he reached her and gently touched her chin to turn it towards him. "I feel like I'm caught in the jaws of a rabid beast." He took one step toward her and Jaden took one step back. Carth swallowed back his disappointment as he slowly put his hands in his pants pockets.

Jaden looked down as she tried to block the warmth his gentle touch spread through her. Why did she think she could have walked out of here without having to speak with him?

"I sat here last night," he began in a low rough voice, "angry because I couldn't find a way to blame you for this."

Jaden stiffened and raised her head. His left eye was beginning to take on the look of a real shiner from where she smacked him last night, but he seemed unconcerned as he shrugged.

"I'm angry about Dustil being hurt, about having my right as a father to protect my son taken away from me, Bastila, Revan, Saul." He took a deep breath.

"You have a right to be angry. None of it was your fault," she whispered. _It was mine._ Even exhausted, with stress lines fanning at the corner of his eyes he was handsome. His dark hair, tussled from repeated finger rakings, the thinned lips, his haggard look added to the air of stark desolation that came crashing down on her. _I'm sorry I couldn't heal you._

"But I have no right to take it out on you. Yes, you're the embodiment of the Force and it's the Force that has allowed these things to happen to me. But that doesn't change the fact that I never really dealt with the anger in the past."

Each word he spoke seemed like little daggers with sharp teeth cutting through her. She lowered her head and began rubbing the center of her forehead. "What are you talking about?"

_He was taking about sitting here last night reexamining his life and wondering where, at what point, did he go from the young man who was brash, devil-may-care with a health dose of skepticism, to a serious man who appeared confident on the outside while on the inside there was a coward afraid to speak of his pain._

_He was talking about sitting here and realizing that he never truly dealt with all the anger he felt, or the inadequacy he fought against everyday because he was afraid to look at his failure to protect his family. Each time one of those emotions reared its ugly head, he ruthlessly set it aside, told himself he was stronger than that. Using that colossal lie got him through each day until he told himself he didn't need anyone else, that he would deal with this on his own, or later when the galaxy wasn't at war. He did such a good job of presenting a false front, no one saw his inner turmoil and in a way that pissed him off. But, he didn't need anyone else so he pushed them away and turned that anger into revenge, and built a wall around himself because he was afraid at this point, to ask for help, to appear less than what he was; a man ready with a handy lie that he had dealt with the grief and anger._

"I have commendation after commendation, medal after medal, for bravery, for courage under fire, for single-handedly rescuing small planets from the clutches of the bad guys. I even have the Cross of Glory for destroying the Star Forge, but I realized last night, none of that makes me brave or courageous because when it comes right down to it, I am a coward."

"No!"

"Yes," he said holding her gaze. "All that anger, all that hurt, I turned it inward, turned it into a barrier as you said. I buried it deep and let its power fuel my need for revenge against Saul, to deal with the Jedi's lie about Revan, and Bastila using Dustil to capture Zared. What you have done. The byproduct of what I did for years is my mistrust of all but a few. But even that came back to kick me in the ass."

"Onasi . . ."

He went on as if she hadn't spoken. "I also sat here and thought, if you had just told me the truth, yet I realized that you could have told me the whole story when you told me we had a bond and I still wouldn't have believed you, and do you know why?"

"Why," she asked. _Why are you tearing yourself apart for something that is my fault?_

"Because it's the coward that runs from adversity. It's the coward that buries the hurt and the anger deep inside instead of dealing with it, kicking its ass and coming out on the other side a better man. It's the coward, me, that refuses to see or accept the truth even when it slaps me upside the head."

"The truth can be difficult to swallow," she whispered.

Carth was so desperate to hold her; he fisted his hands in his pockets. He had to get through this, face the truth once and for all. "Yes, it can. And the truth is I take everything someone says to me with a grain of salt because there are times I simply don't want to deal with it. I didn't want to deal with Morgana's death so I turned the pain to hatred for Saul for murdering her and millions of others, while I kept the torch for her ablaze, hoping she would come back even though I knew she was gone. I didn't want to face the truth that I had failed to find my son, so I blamed the Sith instead of dealing with the fact that I hadn't kept the promise I," he slammed his hand against his chest, "made to him." Carth began to pace the room, picking up this and that then putting them back. Yes, he had been a coward, too afraid to deal with the core of his feelings, then when he thought he had accepted what he had become, Revan came along and made him believe that maybe it wasn't to late for him. Desperate to believe in himself again he set aside the betrayal, allowed himself to love once more, as Jaden had said, only to learn all of that was a lie as well. When his room wandering led him back to her, he went on.

"Sitting in the conference room yesterday and listening to you talk about the keys and what happened to you . . . I didn't think I could hurt any worse. I didn't just say horrible things to you. I was mean, nasty, vicious, and spiteful because I wanted you to hurt as badly as I did," he said looking into her eyes as he grasped her shoulders. "Then you admitted you lied about the keys and even Canderous shouting you did it to protect us didn't sink in until about two hours ago."

"I never meant to hurt you or the others," she whispered returning his look. Some of the emptiness had faded but fear had taken its place.

"I know. And I understand now, where I didn't before. You weren't protecting us," he said waving a hand in from of him, "You were protecting me," he added putting his hand over his heart.

Jaden swallowed back her tears and nodded. _Please stop. I can't stand seeing you so hurt and exposed._

Carth had also dissected every word she said to him last night as he sat in the dark laying himself bare to his own eyes. One voice that rose above the rest, his voice that reached her, touched her, and he realized that someone had heard his heartache, recognized his turmoil, his cowardice to deal with the pain and silently stood by him, offering him comfort when he was cold with loneliness, and at the end of his ability to deal with it.

He reached up and gently wiped the tear from her cheek with the pad of his thumb. "I would have pulled the trigger that night if it hadn't been for you, wouldn't I?" He asked referring to the lowest point in his life when he sat in his quarters and put the barrel of his blaster in his mouth. He had lost everything and had reached rock bottom.

"Yes," she whispered. Carth plowed his fingers through his hair as he took a deep breath. "But it wasn't me, Carth. It was Morgana who stayed your hand," she told him as she reached out and pulled his hands down. "She wanted you to live," Jaden added searching his eyes, pleading with him to believe her. Jaden didn't know who the voice was at that time and the Masters forbade her to interfere, to save him, so she sat, distraught as Morgana begged for his life, screaming her pleas to stop him. Jaden learned how powerful love could be that night, because Morgana's prayers reached through the agony, the misery and the hopelessness surrounding the voice and stopped him.

He blinked away his surprise and nodded. "She mentioned that at the Valley of the Jedi," he said as he captured her hands. "In her own way, she also told me everything I have told you. I've let my natural skepticism run amok," he said biting back the grin at her oh-really look, "and that has kept me from trusting, truly believing in those… well, it's not something that will change overnight but I'll work on it." _It's now or never, Onasi_, he thought as he took a quiet breath and held it. "You're a part of that. I don't want to feel empty, sweetheart. I want you back," he placed her hand over his heart, "right here. It may not be for long . . ."

"Don't!" She spoke sharply as a vision of the end, their end, flashed before her.

". . . but I'll be damned if I let you go before then."

"You're not playing fair, Onasi." Her rough, choking whisper tore at him, as did the glittering tears in her eyes.

"Jaden, for whatever reason, those barriers you spoke of crumbled last night. When I realized what I had been doing, what you had been doing all these years. You kept me from feeling as I have over the past few days, for years because you felt responsible. That's been the source of your guilt, hasn't it?"

"Yes," she nodded with a sigh as she lowered her head.

Carth lifted her chin. "You're not to blame, Jaden."

"I am . . ."

"A woman with an extraordinary responsibility. I'm the one who twisted the anger and mistrust, not you. I'm the one who shut people out, deciding that was easier than risk being betrayed or disappointed. I'm the one who lashed out or pushed away before anyone could hurt me again, and that's no way to live, is it?"

"No," she answered shaking her head.

"When you walked away from me last night I realized there is more to life and love than bitterness and lies. I know it won't be easy to change something I've done for years but I think the first thing I need to do, is get you back, because the rest will mean nothing if I feel as adrift as I do now." Carth reached behind her to cup her neck as he whispered, "Please, don't leave with me feeling as I do, vulnerable and more alone than I ever have."

"You're not alone, _Carus_."

"You didn't fail to heal me, Jaden. I failed in letting you," he told her quietly.

Jaden reached up and traced the cleft in his chin, before raising her eyes to his. Carth blinked against the flash of light and immediately felt her familiar warmth flow over him chasing away the sick feeling in his gut. This time, when he opened his eyes, Jaden was beside him. Once again, they were dressed in white but it stood out more glaringly than before.

"The dark side grows stronger," she said answering his unspoken question. "That's why it may not seem so bright," she added. Even though she retrieved a small part of what Zared took from her, he was still stronger and left his imprint on the light.

Although she tried to hide it, Carth picked up on the fear in her voice. "We'll fix it, Jaden." He pulled her close and kissed her temple. "I promise."


	42. Chapter 41

It felt good to be back on the Ebon Hawk. Besides the Valley of the Jedi, this was the only other home Jaden felt she had. It had a life to it all its own with the clicks, whirs and comforting hum of the Hyperdrive. The ship also had a history and listening to it was like hearing stories from a beloved old relative, she thought as she sat on the floor in the doorway between her quarters and the small room filled with the databanks she created. This was where Kreia and the dark masters manipulated Zared to the dark side, where Revan lied her way into Carth's bed. Reaching out with her mind, she felt a piece of each passenger, each adventure, good or bad, and she would be sad to leave it.

T3 pulled her from her ruminations with his quiet beeping. "Huh? You know he does it just to rile you, don't you," Jaden answered as she looked at him. They were downloading the information she had pilfered from the Republic database about the Sith and had also been talking about what would happen to the droids when she went home. The little droid was genuinely concerned about his new master, hence the statement about Atton's constant harassment. Jaden was more concerned about the others and the Sojourn than T3 at the moment, but she didn't let on. It had been three days since she left, leaving Carth and Visas behind. She didn't want to do it since Carth hadn't recovered yet from their joining, but reports of Zared's fleet being sighted in various systems forced her to leave.

They had talked about the plan to split up and he hadn't liked it. No, she thought with a smile, he'd been livid and they heatedly argued, but he eventually agreed it would be more efficient for him to take command of the fleet and Visas to work with the Jedi while she retrieved the key. There would be other cruisers in the area if the Ebon Hawk needed help. Carth would make sure of it.

"Deet, broop, dwee?"

"I wish I could, but if I take you home to catalog all this, what am I going to do. Besides, I'm sure Carth will take you in. If he can't, Dustil will watch out for you." The Onasi's, she silently sighed. Something else she and Carth had discussed, was their connection to the key . . .

"_What about the keys. How are we connected?"_

"_You're each direct descendents of those that buried them. Your bazillionth great grandfather, Isano, buried the key on Tatooine."_

"_Isano?"_

_Jaden shrugged, "Isano, Onasi."_

"_I can't say he'd get points for originality," he snorted._

"_I would venture a guess it was your grandmother."_

"_My bazillionth great grandmother?"_

"_I could repeat 'great' about a thousand times if you'd like," she said with a grin._

"_Naw," he smiled as he took her hand and began walking. "So grandma takes . . ."_

"_Their son."_

" _. . . To Telos. Then what?"_

"Deet, beet, bwoop, dwoo."

Jaden came back to the present and frowned at T3. "You could blow up a sun and I still wouldn't punish you by giving you to Atton. HK," she smiled waggling her brows, "On the other hand."

T3 chortled in his own way and announced he was done. She came to her knees and scooted to him. Atton she thought as she uncoupled the power cables hadn't spoken to her in days and she knew why. _Some Grand Master Jedi I am. I let my emotions jeopardize his future._

_~~ All is not lost, Child. ~~_

_~~ I was hurt and angry with Carth and I lashed out. I know I shouldn't have and I'm surprised you haven't scolded me about that. ~~_

_~~ Kicking you when you were down is not our style. ~~_

Jaden sighed, _~~ I know. The others, however, would have a field day with my mistake. ~~_

_~~ You can handle them, and you can handle your smart mouth Master Jedi. ~~_

_~~ This is going to be difficult enough as it is. Adding insult to injury is just piling it on at this point. ~~_

_~~ And the sooner you deal with the wound, the quicker it can begin to heal. ~~_

_~~ Is that from your big secret book of Jedi speak? ~~_

_~~ As a matter of fact, ~~_ they gently teased.

Jaden smiled as she finished with T3 _~~ Then wish me luck. ~~_

_~~ The Jedi do not believe in luck. ~~_

_~~ I'm not a Jedi. ~~_

_~~ Do not trot out your technicalities, Child. ~~ _They mockingly scolded.

Innocence dripped from her words, _~~ Yes, Masters. ~~_

* * *

Atton had been fuming ever since Jaden had left the conference room after dropping her little bombshell about their connection to the keys. He had taken a swing at Canderous and wound up with a split lip for the wasted effort. He even snarled at Visas when she came to check on him. He did apologize to her before they left, but it had been half-hearted since his mind had been focused on his life and the woman who was a part of his youth, D'Nara Rand, his grandmother.

He was seven when his son-of-a-bitch father took ill, and his all ready crappy life got worse. Even at that young age, he knew living two lives was not the way to grow up. He liked school, was good at it but the moment he stepped out of the schoolyard he entered a dark existence . . .

"_Jaqi, you'll never be better than the underside of a Rancor's ass. They're letting you slide because you're poor and will never amount to anything. That's how the galaxy works Jaq, the rich beat you down until you're under their heel and then they begin to grind you into the ground. Don't ever think you'll be more than what you are, a drain on society, and this family."_

It was about this time that whispers, echoes really, would worm themselves through his mind. He didn't pay much attention at first, thinking of them as his own thoughts arguing and attributed it to this dual life he seemed to lead, so he went on in the small industrial town outside of Coronet on Corellia. The place was depressing, where the sunshine was dimmer due to the smoke, and noxious fumes that belched into the air from the factories where his father worked. That is until he became ill and the company dropped him like the plague. What little money they had dried up quickly and his parents fought often and loudly about the lack of credits and about him . . .

"_Please stop drinking"_

"_I have to entertain potential clients"_

Clients? All his "clients" were doing was taking advantage of the free booze and food . . .

"We need food! Jaq needs clothes for school."

"_School? Why the hell is he wasting time going to school? He'll never amount to anything. He's dumber than a dead Gizka, uglier than your mother, and has no redeeming qualities."_

"_He's your son."_

"_That is highly suspect. He wants food and clothes, he can go work for them!" _

Atton was nine when he began fighting, letting his grades suffer and his father became bedridden . . .

"_You need medical treatment"_

"_Then sell the boy! He's a worthless cur anyway but the Hutt's might find some use for him. I hear there's a good market for young boys although he's a bit skinny for some tastes."_

"_We could ask your mother."_

"_That Shutta? She's as insane as that brat you think is my son, always going on about destiny, riches beyond riches and some hokey ancient power," he grunted. " 'Find the key, find the key and all will be revealed'," he added in a falsetto voice, waving his hands. "Ha! She needs to be revealed to the authorities at the loony bin. Talking in weird languages, obsessed with temples and that stupid amulet she always wears."_

Things only became worse. His mother, who tried so valiantly to shelter Atton from his father and their miserable life, lost the constant battle, either through physical defeat or just giving up. She stopped being Atton's mother and became a whore the day he came home from school and found a stranger rutting over her as his father watched, his smile reminding Atton of someone touched by madness. From that moment on Atton only slept at the house, he wasn't stupid after all, he needed shelter, but found food and anything else he needed through his felonious acts. He lied, he cheated, he stole, and by the age of ten, he learned to count on no one but himself.

When his father did finally die, Atton was in the local juvenile detention center, having not been quick enough to escape the authorities, so he missed the funeral. He heard no one showed up except his mother and he remembered thinking that she probably slept with the undertaker just to get the bag of Rancor shit buried.

Three days later a tall stately woman with gray hair tied back in a severe style and a hard look about her, showed up and paid his bail. His dear sweet grandmother had come to collect him and her daughter-in-law, and it didn't take long for Atton to realize D'Nara Rand was as loony as his father. Once they were settled in her palatial home in Coronet, she would drag him to various temples and stare for hours at the weird language on the walls and trace the 'key' with her fingers all the while gripping the pendant that always hung around her neck. She was a mean, vicious old scow, just like his father. D'Nara would poke at him with her cane if he didn't move fast enough to the point of causing bruises. When she caught him smirking she would grab his ear and twist. As he grew older and began to fill out, her attention took on an incestuous manner and Atton avoided her as much as possible. When he couldn't, he was mean, vicious, and abusive to her.

One day, when Atton asked her about the pendant and what they were doing at the temple, she backhanded him across the face for his effrontery and scolded him about making light of his legacy . . .

"_Di'kut!" she swore in Mando'a. "For centuries, this family has searched for the key. It will bring us power and unspeakable wealth," she said as she caressed the cheek she had just backhanded. "You want power and money, don't you Jaq?"_

_He nodded, unable to speak through the stinging pain and sick churning feeling in his gut. His grandmother continued to trail her fingers over his shoulders as she circled him._

"_I once thought your father might be the one to help me in my quest, but he was weak and I see now that you are not." Nausea lodged at the base of his throat. "Tell me Jaqi, do you hear the voices?"_

_He nodded slowly. At the moment, the voices were urging him to listen to her, to take what was offered, but a part of him resisted when he saw the vacant look in her eyes._

_D'Nara chuckled. "I thought so. Come, let me tell you of your ancestors . . ."_

Basically, all he learned that day was that his grandmother was delusional and insanity ran in his family. Thinking on it now, he probably should have listened to her.

It didn't take long for Atton to return to his criminal ways just as his mother returned to whoring, but his grandmother's constant ranting and the infernal voices whispering to him became a potentially lethal distraction and one night, Atton missed the clues he was being set-up by the gang he ran with. He found himself alone in an alley deserted by his so-called friends, to be beaten nearly to death by a rival gang.

As he lay on the filth covered stones, puking up blood and bleeding from every orifice in his body, his mind began to flash on the past, present, and what he desperately hoped wasn't the future. It was dark, murderous, and he didn't understand what it meant, but he clung to those visions as he painfully inched his way out of that back alley and home. After all, dark as they were, at least it meant he would live.

Atton collapsed in the small foyer and was on the verge of passing out when his grandmother poked at him with her foot telling him that he had the power to heal himself and extract revenge on those that did this. She began rambling in that bizarre language and that's when he realized, if he survived the night, he would leave the next day. Nothing was worth this.

It was closer to a week before he hobbled out of that house, but he did it and never looked back. The things he stole from his grandmother would keep him afloat for a little while at least, and he spent the next six months on the street hunting down those that betrayed him, beating them to a bloody and broken pulp. He hated what he was becoming, no better than his father, whoring himself like his mother, and worried that he too was going insane. He tried going straight but always found himself backsliding into a life of crime.

One day, as he ran from the scene of a robbery he committed, he ducked into a shopping arcade to hide. Sitting in the back of a small restaurant, he found himself entranced by the holo-vid showing scenes of destruction from the Mandalorian War. The words began whispering in his head, and as they had before, they frightened him. Atton needed help and as he left the restaurant, he saw two Republic soldiers. _Food, shelter, and a purpose other than self-destruction, Jaq,_ whispered the soothing voice in his mind.

A week later, Atton looked back only once as he boarded the Hammerhead class Republic ship.

* * *

Jaden slipped out of Atton's mind the same way she slipped in, silent and undetected. She despised herself for eavesdropping on his thoughts, but he still wasn't speaking to her and she was tired of him glaring or walking away when she tried. They would be reaching Yavin IV in a few hours and Atton needed to focus on that, not what that crazy old hag of a grandmother had done.

_~~ Why do you persist, silly girl? ~~_

Jaden groaned and closed her eyes. _~~ What do you want? Shouldn't you be driving Zared to distraction? ~~_

~~ When he has finally found his purpose? No, we do not wish to distract the Sith'ari. ~~

"But me on the other hand," she muttered as she got off the bunk in her quarters and grabbed her coat.

_~~ Believe it or not, silly girl, we miss you. ~~_

Jaden snorted. _~~ Not. Besides, you're with half of me all the time. ~~_

_~~ Your better dark side perhaps, but it is not you. You are more creative in your brush-offs than 'shut up'. ~~_

_~~ Like hit the road, make like a tree and leave, don't let the door hit you in the ass . . . ~~_

_~~ Enough! ~~_ They genuinely sounded put out and she bit back the grin.

_~~ Bugger off. Why are you really here? ~~_

_~~ You approach the final key, our key, why do you think we are here, ~~ _they sneered.

Jaden rolled her eyes. _~~ I don't have time for you. ~~_

_~~ You will make time, silly girl! ~~_

_~~ Look, if you are only here to cause trouble, perhaps you should rethink that strategy. ~~_

_~~ And why is that? ~~_

_~~ For starters, I willingly gave up the first key. Zared found the second with no interference from the Masters or me. You wouldn't want to look like poor sports now, would you. I mean really, when history is recorded how will it look that the dark side was afraid of a 'silly girl'. ~~_

_~~ A silly girl who believes herself a Jedi Lord, when she is nothing more than . . . ~~_

_~~ Darth Tyr, the dark lord of the True Sith, the Sith'ari? I may not have all the power of the dark side at the moment, but I did learn my lessons well, so do not insult what you created. ~~_

_~~ Bah! We will do as we wish. ~~_

And that worried her. She knew they wouldn't go far, but at the moment, she had a bigger problem than dealing with the pettiness of the dark masters.

Leaving her quarters, she slammed her arms through the sleeves of her jacket knowing the garment would do nothing against the chill within her bones. It was the dark side. Not just the masters but also the aura of Yavin IV. The Massassi temples were bad enough, but the presence of Exar Kun in the temples was multiplying the effect ten fold. Again, she kicked herself for not waiting for Carth. If nothing else, arguing with him about how to retrieve the key would be vastly preferable to what she was on her way to do.

When she entered the main hold, she found Canderous tweaking his armor, a half eaten plate of food at his elbow. T3 was beside him by the center console acting as a makeshift hanger for the chest plate while tools balanced precariously on his flat head. With no more than the thought, the tools went flying across the room.

"Hey!" He looked up.

"My droid is not your personal work bench," she snapped.

Canderous rose to his full height and glared at her.

"Where's Atton?" she asked not backing down while T3 'dwood' quietly in the thickening tension. "Where is he?"

"Beep, droop, dree," T3 chirped cautiously.

Jaden stepped aside to go to the bridge and found her way blocked by the burly Mandalorian. He could be very intimidating when he wanted to be, but so could she.

"What are you going to do?" he demanded with a hard look and his hands on his hips.

His defense of Atton surprised her but she didn't let it show. Normally Canderous would have been the first to knock some sense into Atton for acting like he was. Then again, Revan had yanked the proverbial rug out from under him so Canderous knew well what feeling deceived was like.

"Kick his ass," she told him as she narrowed her eyes, silently challenging him to try and stop her.

Canderous chuckled when he recognized the look. "Even great warriors know when to stay away from a woman on a mission," he said stepping aside.

Jaden let her shoulders slump when she realized she was being foolish. He was a friend, had helped her and she was acting like a child. "I'm sorry." She looked at T3 to include him. "Wish me luck."

"The Jedi don't believe in luck."

A half grin appeared on her face, "I'm not a Jedi."

Canderous rolled his eyes as she headed down the short corridor to the bridge.

"T3, lock the door behind me."

* * *

Jaden waited by the bridge door until she heard the locking mechanism _snick_ into place. Atton sat in the pilot's chair, his feet up on the side console as he shuffled his Pazaak deck with one hand. In profile to her as she sat down, she could see his face was drawn taut and dark circles bruised the skin under his dark eyes.

"When was the last time you slept?"

Atton ignored her as he got up to leave. He wasn't ready for this. After reviewing his life, what Jaden had told them, Carth, Visas, well he didn't need to be a genius to know why he was here.

"It's locked."

He returned to the console and pressed a few buttons.

"From the outside."

Jaden listened, as Atton demanded T3 open the door, calling the little droid a 'worthless bag of bolts' and threatening to disembowel him with a rusty hydro-spanner.

"Stop it!" she snapped rubbing her temples. Jaden could now add Atton's anger to the list of dark things making her cold. Thanks to joining with Carth, the pain was manageable, but the cold . . .

"Open the fracking door!"

"I've never known you to be a Gizka," she said getting up to face him.

"Frack you!"

"That's real mature . . . Jaq."

Atton spun around, throwing his hand out, but Jaden was ready and countered his push maneuver with one of her own. He found himself shoved off his feet, slammed into the bulkhead and flat on his ass.

"Why are you acting like this?" she demanded with her arms akimbo. Atton only glared at her. "You're acting like . . ."

"What? A Sith?" He saw Jaden's eyes widen briefly in shock. "Always have been and I'm being to think, always will be!"

Jaden heard the dark masters chuckle in the background. _~~ You bastards! You told him? ~~_

_~~ No need, he figured it out on his own. He has a smart mind, this son of D'Nara. ~~_

Jaden didn't believe them, but it didn't matter. She had waited too long and now she had to try and fix it. "You're not a Sith."

"Stop lying!" Atton shouted as he slammed a hand on the console next to him. "It's all been a lie. My whole life has been a lie."

"Atton . . ."

"It doesn't take a genius to figure out my part in this little triad of yours. Carth, descended from the man who buried the light side key. A do-gooder no doubt, that seemed to carry the weight of the galaxy on his back." His voice dripped contempt as he went on. "Oh, the poor man that took responsibility for everything. How will he ever manage to survive with such a burden?" Atton didn't look at her as he raised his knees and placed his arms on them. "Visas, descended from the man who buried the neutral key, the one that represents the misty gray between light and dark. She takes a crack at both and decides neither fit her, so she stays in the middle, using whatever side works to her advantage. And then there's me, the descendent of the dark side. The con artist, the scoundrel, the gambler, the Sith Jedi hunter. The idiot that believed he could be something better, be something he's not. No wonder I was so good at whatever Revan or Malak asked me to do. It's in my blood."

Jaden didn't say anything. The dark masters were laughing in her head in a told-you-so manner, gloating that she had failed in rectifying this last part of her quest.

~~ Did you really think, silly girl, that we would let you get away with this? He is ours, yet you believe to make him one of yours? Now who is an arrogant bitch? ~~

_~~ No. ~~_

~~ Oh yes. You believed you could turn him, once and for all; make him your pawn in your plan to restore balance to the Force, ignoring your masters and the accords. ~~

_~~ No. I . . . ~~_

~~ You what? Figured that we wouldn't notice the Force tipping to the light side when this was over? ~~

_~~ No! ~~_

_~~ Do not think we are stupid, silly girl. ~~_

Jaden ruthlessly threw up a barrier to block their angry mocking tone.

"I know I handled this poorly and I'm sorry. I dumped information on you, on all of you, that . . ." she trailed off as she turned the chair around and sat heavily with a sigh,

Atton snuck a look at her through his lowered lashes. Jaden was pale, exhausted, and shivering in her jacket. Hell, he thought, she had saved him from more than just death at Malachor V, so why was he acting like this? Because deep down when he had recognized what he was in this triad, it terrified him.

"Am I descended from the Sith that buried the key that represents the dark side?"

Jaden looked at him with sorrow in her eyes and nodded. "His name was D'Nara."

Atton looked up quickly.

"Your grandmother's real name was Bertah and she searched, as did the others before her, her whole life for the key. All she every learned was his name. My predecessor took pity on her and told her."

"Your predecessor? Oh yeah," he smirked, "one embodier per generation."

"He was a bit of an ass." Which was an understatement since he liked causing trouble and listened to the dark masters more than he should. "Anyway, it was a stupid thing to do and pretty much drove her to madness."

"So, this D'Nara. Was he a Jedi hunter for the Sith? A con artist; a murdering scoundrel that gambled and prostituted himself?"

Jaden inwardly cringed at Atton's description of himself.

"Was his family crazy as well? Hyped up on drugs and alcohol with delusions guiding their every angry action?"

Jaden's spirit plummeted with each word. She knew Atton struggled every moment of every day to put his dark tendencies aside, to live a better life than he grew up with. Atton had been those things, but he was also one of the best men to come along in years and it broke her heart that he only saw the worst in himself and not the good. She heard the dark masters chuckle.

_~~ He is ours, silly girl. ~~_

_~~ He is mine! ~~_

_~~ We shall see, ~~_ their dark voices singsonged.

"Answer me!"

"Yes, for the most part."

"Don't you dare pull that Jedi-speak technicality shit on me," he shouted as he stood.

"It's not that simple," she answered in a tired tone as his anger began to coil through her, scraping along her nerves like nails on a slate surface.

"Yes. It. Is." Each word was absolute as he turned to the door, pointed one finger at the lock, and blew it open with a precise stream of lightning.

"Atton!" She called to him as he strode from the bridge.

_~~ Told you. ~~_

_~~ Shut up! ~~_ She snapped as she went after him. "Atton!" she shouted again as she entered the main hold at a jog. He was headed for his quarters in the starboard dormitory, but she managed to catch his arm before he disappeared down the corridor. "Damn it, Jaq!"

He moved so quickly she didn't have time to react before she found herself pinned to the bulkhead, his hand at her throat and his saber engaged, pointed at her heart.

_~~ Hmmm, so simple when one is predisposed to the dark side. ~~_

_~~ Let him go! ~~_ Now she understood why they were there. Why hadn't she thought of this before? They were trying to delay her, make her fail in this mission and being so close to so much dark power, she was unable to protect Atton from their manipulations and instead of helping him, she may have just delivered him to his destruction.

The _vizzzt_ of weapons overpowered the silence, followed by the _click_ of two blaster bolts sliding home simultaneously, and the _crackle_ of a shock arm engaging.

"Threat: You will release the master immediately or I will put several holes in your squishy meatbag body."

"And one in your thick skull for good measure."

"DEET, BREEP, WOOT!"

"Translation: You will be unable to have children."

Atton's fingers flex on her neck as his nostrils flared. Jaden fought against the icy pain flowing directly into her.

"He was also a womanizer," she said softly. His grip on her neck was crushing her windpipe. "And the woman he impregnated was very strong in the Force, the light side of the Force. She was beautiful with dark hair and dark eyes. She had a quick mind, and a clever sense of humor. Her smile was mischievous, but also warm and she was kind, looking out for the less fortunate," she said not breaking eye contact as she swallowed past the crushing pain. Atton's lips thinned when he began to tremble.

"D'Nara had raped her, brutalized her, left her beaten and pregnant, but she was resilient. She put aside his brutality and raised her son alone. Unfortunately, he exhibited his father's tendencies but she never gave up hope that one day he would grow into a good man. His son took after his grandmother and on down the line, the struggle between dark and light, was divided among the generations until centuries later when the blood was mingled to the point of dilution that someone decided it was easier to hate humanity, the galaxy, than it was to care."

Atton closed his eyes.

"The dark side isn't stronger, Jaq," she whispered, "but it is quicker, more seductive. That's why this isn't simple. You're the first one in ages that has chosen the path to follow the light."

_~~ What are you doing, ~~_ they demanded.

Her faintly pleading tone began to reach him, but his fingers squeezed her neck again as he fought against the urge to crush it.

"You are more than she ever could have hoped for from her off-spring, Jaq."

Atton slowly shook his head. "I'm exactly like him. It's who I am."

Jaden raised her right hand and encircled the wrist at her throat. With her left, she moved his saber aside, ignoring Canderous's short inhale. "Part of it, but I told you long ago there is more to Jaq Atton Rand," she whispered as she held his gaze, silently pleading with him to trust her.

_~~ No! ~_

He wanted to believe her, to trust her, was desperate for the peace he had sought for so long, knowing she had the power to give it to him. Jaden could have defended herself, hell, killed him for attacking her but she hadn't and the simplicity of the reason was humbling. She believed in him. For the first time in his life, he truly knew someone believed in him. "I'm sorry," he whispered as his grip lessened on her neck as he leaned forward touching his forehead to hers.

Jaden moved her hand from his wrist to the side of his face. "Now you know why you are closer to me, the embodier of the Force, than anyone," she told him quietly. "I know you struggle with your choices everyday but don't believe for a moment you are less than what you are."

_~~ He is ours! ~~_

"Your smart mouth master Jedi?"

_~~ He is mine. ~~_

"Then you agree to take the trials?"

"Uh . . ."

Jaden shook her head against his with a faint smile. "I need you, Jaq. I need someone I can trust when this is over, to do what needs to be done."

Atton stepped away from her, ran his finger down her cheek. "I can't make that promise," he said stepping away from her. Before he turned the corner, however, he turned back and added, "I'm sorry, I just can't." Jaden may believe in him, but he still didn't fully believe in himself.


	43. Chapter 42

Dustil raked his fingers through his hair as he let his head drop to the wooden table of the third library he had visited that day. He was tired, hungry, cranky, and his eyes felt as if they'd been sandblasted, he thought, as he bumped his head a couple of times against the hard surface before gusting out a sigh and sitting up. He drew a few strange looks from the other patrons but he ignored them as he pushed the latest useless data pad aside and moved on to the next.

Why did he have to be an only child? Why did his dad and grandfather have to be only children? Dustil would have given his last credit at the moment to have aunts, uncles, cousins and living grandparents so he didn't have to sit in this old forgotten library looking through decaying data pads about one; ancient languages and two; any reference to the Onasi or Isano family name. He could have asked them. Impossible now that both sets of grandparents were dead and this was one of the repositories for the records salvaged from Telos. It was slim pickins and Dustil knew he was wasting his time. The records weren't nearly old enough. He needed into the oldest levels of the archives at the Jedi Temple, but since he wasn't a Jedi, a full Jedi, his access was limited.

"Maybe Visas," he mumbled as he switched off the flickering data pad and added it to the stack of other flickering data pads that needed their power source checked. No, he couldn't ask Visas. She knew of her connection to the keys and Dustil wasn't comfortable asking her to help him search for the words that would more than likely end his father's life. Hell, he wasn't comfortable looking for them either, but his father was right; Jaden would never take enough of her power back and Carth needed to be prepared to make that sacrifice, if necessary, for the Republic. _Damn do-gooder_, he thought. Atton was the logical choice, but he was with Jaden and Canderous on their way to Yavin IV to get the final key. He'd watched the recording of their meeting in the conference room about the legend of the Valley of the Jedi and the keys, and heard Atton say he recognized the text.

If this was just about some dead language, well, that was bad enough, but no, he thought as he put on his jacket and picked up the data pads to return to the librarian, his dad woke up seventy-two hours ago from joining with Jaden and pretty much changed Dustil's family history . . .

_He sat at the computer in his father's quarters reading the reports coming in over the secured channel. Well, maybe not so secure if he could hack in, but it was a fleeting thought as report after report of Zared's Sith attacks on the shipping lanes, scrolled on the screen. These were freighters, transports, and the attacks were nothing more then murder designed to create terror among the population. With the military under attack as well – and unable to provide protection – various systems were beginning to take matters into their own hands. Zared wasn't just coming after the Jedi as other Sith lords had, he was after splintering the Republic and doing a brilliant job of it._

_For the military, Foerost seemed the higher priority, and then Dustil saw that the cruiser Triumph had been attacked and was dead in space. He had friends that served on that ship and when he was done serving the Jedi, he was supposed to serve on that ship. One battle group had answered their distress call but all contact had been lost and it was assumed they were destroyed._

"_Bastard!"_

"_Who?"_

_Dustil turned in the chair to find Carth coming from his room scratching the back of his neck. Jaden said he wouldn't need a Kolto tank from this joining so his dad had been asleep in his room for the past three days. "How are you feeling?"_

"_Stiff, sore, hungry, hung over," Carth said as he gingerly moved toward the kitchen area while he rolled his bare shoulders. "Who's a bastard?"_

"_Zared. He's begun to attack the Republic."_

"_It was expected at some point," he answered as he found a bowl and poured colorful rings of sugared cereal. "He's not stupid, so he knows Jaden would go after the third key before he could get there so why not keep the Republic on the defensive while she's occupied." Carth took a spoon from the drawer and dug in. "Jaden leave." It was a casual question asked around his mouthful. He had to swallow quickly before grinning. Dustil's brow was furrowed as he stared at him._

"_Is that your 'who-are-you-and-what-have-you-done-with-my-father' look?"_

"_Yeah," Dustil said slowly, "I guess it is." _

"_You have no idea," he said with an amazed chuckle. "Since you took the time to hack into highly classified information you can read it to me while I eat."_

"_I didn't . . ."_

_Carth raised his hand and waved the spoon at his son. "As my personal aide, Ensign Onasi, you'll need the access. Trust me," he told him with a brief eye roll . . ._

Dustil turned up the collar on his jacket as he exited the library on to the crowded streets of Coruscant's Galactic City. It had begun to rain and he growled low in his throat thinking things couldn't get worse, but of course, they did since every transport was packed.

He shoved his hands in his pockets and began walking towards the military headquarters. Carth was meeting with Vice Admiral Dodonna about defending Coruscant and the Jedi Temple. Dustil ducked his head and smiled to himself. Let's see how . . . practical he is after that, he thought. He had expected his dad to go ballistic when he discovered Dustil had broken into his computer and absolutely flip out when he learned Jaden had left . . .

"_Okay. That's it!" Dustil growled as he threw the stylus on the desk. "What is wrong with you? Every word out of your mouth since you got up has been practical, matter-of-fact, and un-angsty." He waved his hands in frustration. "You haven't flipped out because Jaden left without you, accusing her of being all kinds of stupid to go alone." His eyes narrowed. "You wanted her to leave, didn't you."_

"_Ah, hell no! I'm surprised that argument didn't send a larger shockwave through the Force than when she released me."_

"_Then what is going on? You're freaking me out, Dad."_

_Carth's immediate reaction was to withdraw, to hold a part of him back, but he made a promise to himself not to hide from those he loved, especially his son. He felt the resistance within him and shoved it aside. Taking a deep breath first, he told Dustil most of what had transpired between Jaden and himself and about the voice, his voice. When he finished, Dustil was quiet for a few moments._

"_I guess that brings home just how powerful she really is," he said. "Bonds are one thing but she heard you . . ."_

"_And continues to do so."_

"_But," he paused plowing his fingers through his hair. "I'm not sure how I'd feel about that."_

Loved,_ Carth thought to himself. _ Loved and protected.

"_Do you think it's because of your connection to the key?"_

_Carth thought for a moment then shook his head. "No," he said softly. "You're just as connected as I am, Dusty." _This was deeper.

"_What do you mean?"_

"_My bazillionth, uh, your bazillionth-er great grandfather was one of the six that buried the key. His name was Isano." Carth paused when Dustil frowned. "Isano, Onasi."_

_Dustil snorted. "That's real original."_

_Carth almost spit out his fruity cereal when he began laughing. "That's what I said but apparently grandma changed the name when she arrived at Telos with their son."_

"_So who was he?"_

"_According to Jaden, he was a stalwart soldier and reluctant war hero," he said with a slight smile. "Isano was originally from Telos, that's why he sent his wife and son back there. He served in the militia, had a serious nature, and was very loyal to his friends and family._

"_Apparently he didn't bat an eye when he was chosen to bury the key. The Midiclorians were impressed not only with his sense of responsibility but he was also very involved in his community and various charities."_

_Dustil's brow cocked and Carth was again reminded of how much alike they were. _Just don't make the same mistakes I have._ "Yeah, yeah, it's not lost on me and yes, I've helped my share of little old ladies across the street. I can, however, drink Kwyn under the table," he added somewhat distressed with his do-gooder image. "And have, on several occasions."_

"_So, history repeats."_

"_And it appears often since we are, historically a military family," Carth said getting up. "There should be a record of what happened in the conference room when Jaden told us about the legend and the keys. Should also help you find out about this ancient language."_

_Dustil stiffened, "Dad . . ."_

_Carth let go of the empty dish and it levitated before he used the Force to move it to the counter. "Sorry son, still not enough. I'm gunna go take a shower."_

_Dustil got up and went to the window. _ How do you know,_ he thought looking at the blue weave of hyperspace,_ since it's obvious now why we're both Force Sensitive.

_Carth reemerged, "Caffa"_

"_Did this Isano have a first name?"_

"_Jaden didn't say. She called me Carus though," he shrugged as he grabbed his mug. "Carus, Carth." . . ._

"Hey buddy, watch where you're going."

Dustil still didn't move as several more people and aliens bumped into him on the crowded walkway.

"Idiot! Stand in the rain someplace else."

[_Stupid human!_]

A sharp poke finally got his attention. He mumbled his apologies and stepped out of the way groaning. Carus wasn't Carth, Carus meant 'beloved' and Dustil realized exactly where to look: The Room of a Thousand Fountains. His spirit plummeted to match the gray rainy sky. There were huge stone plaques with writing scattered throughout the massive garden.

Dustil scrubbed his hands over his face. Looking out from the overhang he huddled under, he could see the Jedi Temple to the left and the senate building to his right. His dad was in the senate building and expecting him. A sense of relief poured through him. He wasn't avoiding going to the temple, he just had some place else to be.

* * *

Carth paused in one of the small lounges that dotted the corridor to his office. The spectacular view from the informal meeting room was ignored as he stood by the wide bank of windows, his thoughts on his meeting with Forn Dodonna.

Zared had attacked Foerost and several Republic cruisers. Even freighters weren't safe. Several had been boarded, their cargo looted and the ships, along with their crews, destroyed. Systems were halting their shipping which would cause unrest on other planets depending on the goods. Prices were already rising and civil unrest was growing. Republic, Sith, it didn't matter. Governments ran on commerce. No commerce, no taxes, no taxes, no government services, and the population assumed the worse.

Screw the evil Sith Lord gig. All Zared had to do was create unrest among the masses and bingo - he swoops in and takes over. That's what scared Carth the most; Zared would gain control before the Republic organized a defense, and Jaden could defeat him.

As they spoke about further deployments, an aide had hurried into the room to inform them that Sleheyron had been targeted and several tankers in route to Telos had been destroyed.

_~~ He attacks your home because he believes you have hurt the child. ~~_

He inwardly cringed. _~~ My anger and hurt caused this? How did he find out? ~~_

_~~ There is no rational basis to jealously. As to how he found out, well, it is difficult to keep secrets from one's self, is it not? ~~_

Carth's head began to pound in a fast staccato beat. First off he was pissed he could still hear the Force – that Jaden still hadn't taken what she needed - and second, they were still being enigmatic. _ ~~ No more cryptic mumbo-jumbo. They are light years apart and if they were that connected to read each other's thoughts, I suspect we wouldn't be here now. How did Zared find out? ~~_ After a few moments, he mentally rolled his eyes, about to give up on an answer.

_~~ Just as you become one with the child, the Sith'ari can reach the light through the obelisk. The night she told you of the voice, the Sith'ari sensed something was wrong and breached her defenses. ~~_

Pain spiked through him. _~~ Did he hurt her? ~~_

_~~ No, they cannot harm one another in the light, or the dark for that matter, but he recognized the cause of her pain. That is why he attacks Telos and the fuel sources necessary for its restoration. He strikes at you through this avenue because he promised he would not physically harm you or your son. ~~_

_~~ But isn't revenge a trait of the Sith, ~~_ he asked feeling confused. He knew Zared agreed not to harm Dustil or those on the Sojourn, but he didn't know about himself.

_~~ Of the . . . Kath-Sith, as he calls them, yes. Even now his fleet searches the Sith worlds to find soldiers for his cause. He will annihilate those he feels are unworthy of being part of the True Sith. You must remember that the True Sith gain their power through the strength of the dark side. They do not quibble over who is strongest, who will survive, who is ruthless enough to murder to gain prestige or the next promotion. There is no need for revenge because enemies of the True Sith are dealt with quickly and forcefully. The True Sith do not wait and ponder their actions, scheme and use others. They take action with decisiveness. ~~_

_~~ As the Mandalorians did and then Revan. ~~_

_~~ No. The Mandalorians, as ruthless as they were, attacked the Republic to seek honor and glory in the battle as Mandalore has told you. That's what they strive for to the point of allowing the slaughter of their comrades. Yes, they are lauded as heroes of the battle, but they are considered weak behind closed doors. Mandalore recognized the flaws - in this long tradition of Mandalorian belief - since many of his brethren deserted the core values and became mercenaries, as he did. He was changed after his friend Yagi challenged him and he killed him on Tatooine. Your friend still holds to the ideals of the Mandalorians, but he has tempered his feelings on honor and glory. For him, the honor and glory are not just the fight, but what is the outcome or benefit to his people. The True Sith strike with a conquering sword and move on. They do not tolerate . . . impurity. You will find no alien species among them. ~~_

_~~ And Revan? ~~_

They sighed. _~~ Revan drew her power from the Star Forge. When it was destroyed, she became weak and never should have reached the True Sith home world. The only reason she did was because the child was not whole. Had she been, Jaden would have destroyed her the moment she reached the empire's space ~~_

Carth's breath backed up in his lungs.

_~~ Admiral, the child is our embodiment so you know she is also the Sith'ari. As such, she would protect what is hers. Understand Admiral, the True Sith Empire has not fought a war in several generations, yet they continue to expand. That alone should tell you of their reputation in what you call the Unknown Regions and their strength. The Republic, as your friend Mandalore told the Exile, would be nothing more than a border skirmish. As difficult as it may be to believe, the fact that Zared seeks the Valley of the Jedi is a blessing of sorts. If he were to unleash the full power of the True Sith, there would be little you could do. ~~_

_~~ Then how do we fight this? ~~_

You_ don't, son of Isano. ~~_

* * *

When Dustil arrived at his father's office, his aide, Lieutenant Abmis looked up once from his computer and pointed to the office door. He mumbled "thanks" and went through to find Kwyn, arm reaching into the very back of a file cabinet's top drawer. Moments later his face split into a grin as he produced the nearly full bottle of whiskey. Kwyn's deep blue eyes sparkled as he gently sloshed the contents.

"Why was it in a file?"

"To hide it."

"Why not put it in the safe," Dustil asked as Kwyn gathered two glasses.

"That's no fun. Besides, I have to have something to do while I wait for him." He set down the bottle, picked up the two glasses, and handed one to Dustil. "You look like a drowned Womprat."

He took the glass and plopped down on the leather sofa while Kwyn went to the cushy chair behind the desk, sat down, and put his feet on the glossy black surface. "I think I know where to look," Dustil gushed out in a rush.

Kwyn didn't need to ask what he was talking about. "Shit," he muttered into the glass before draining it.

"What do I do, Kwyn?"

It was times like this Kwyn wanted to bash Carth's face in. Put aside the justifiable reasoning, which they all understood, and all that was left was a grossly unfair request for a father to ask his son. "A part of me wants to tell you to forget it, but we can't. You're going to have to tell him, kid. If Jaden can't pull this off and Zared defeats her, he's going to come for the Jedi and that includes your father."

"And the light side dies anyway."

"Besides, just because you know where to look, doesn't mean you'll find it," he added hoping to sound somewhat upbeat.

"What if I do find the words that could end his life?" Dustil uttered quietly.

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it."

* * *

Carth rubbed his right temple as he left the lounge and headed for his office. How could the woman that silently watched over him for years, saved his life, made him feel alive and complete, be the same woman that looked out for, and would destroy any threat to the True Sith. Overwhelming didn't come close to being an accurate description of that dichotomy. The closer they came to the final confrontation, the more he realized he knew absolutely nothing about Jaden and who, or what, she was.

The moment he stepped through the doors Lt. Abmis, came to attention and said, "Dustil and General Lavek are in your office."

Carth stopped at the desk and took the data pad Abmis offered. The kid, Frey Abmis - and no that wasn't because Carth felt very old at that moment - was younger than Dustil, but he couldn't fault his efficiency. He put up with very little even from Carth, and while it was annoying at times, he didn't have to worry that things would fall through the cracks. Now, if they could just cure the kid's space sickness, he would take him on the Sojourn. Abmis joined the Republic Navy only to find out he couldn't handle space travel. He was fine for a little while, but too much time in hyperspace and Frey turned green around the gills. "I'll need you to activate Dustil's commission for me," he said absently as he scanned the data pad.

"Yes, Admiral."

"Send a message to Lt. Grenn at Citadel Station; I need to speak with him."

"Yes, Admiral."

"Did you tell General Lavek where my Corellian Whiskey is?" Carth picked up the stylus on the desk and signed the pad. There was a pause and he shifted his look to his aide as he held out the pad. Abmis looked pained and embarrassed his face red from chin to his dirty-blonde hairline.

"Umm . . . ah . . . Yes, Admiral. He ordered me to."

Carth shook his head with a smile. "It's alright, Lieutenant. It saves time and my office doesn't look like it's been tossed for rare jewels."

"Yes, Admiral."

"Go home, Frey."

"Yes, Admiral. As soon as you leave, sir."

Carth briefly wondered if Jaden was ever that obedient.

_~~ Alas, no. ~~_ There was so much fondness and resignation in their voices; he had to bite the inside of his lip as he opened the door. _Just another side to the woman he loved and didn't really know._

Kwyn was sitting in his chair with his feet on Carth's desk and the glass of whiskey in his hand. All he needed was a cigar and he could have been a crime lord, counting his credits. "Well?"

"He's going after Telos."

* * *

It was nearing midnight when Dustil began the long trek up the steps to the Jedi Temple. A little over a thousand years ago – after the Great Hyperspace War – the Republic granted the Jedi this sacred mountain on Coruscant due to the Force nexus – one of the conduits Jaden spoke of. They hoped they would build a fortress. It hadn't started out that way with the tall stone buildings built around the mountain, but seventy years ago, four Jedi masters altered the look when durasteel plating was added over the stone walls.

After Exar Kun and Ulic Qel-Droma devastated the enclave on Ossus, the Jedi came here to this temple and began expanding the structure and erecting the Jedi Council chambers. Dustil stopped at the top of the stairs and looked back on the twinkling lights of Galactic City. The Jedi had only recently returned - in the last couple of years – since abandoning the temple after the failed Jedi Conclave on Katarr.

Wavering once when he turned to the door, his mind flashed on a massive structure with five spires that towered over a very different looking Galactic City. Taking a deep breath to steady him, he slowly opened his eyes and looked up. Signs of current construction could be seen as the vision superimposed itself over the present. He let out a quiet breath and whispered, "Not in my lifetime," as he entered the temple.

His boot steps sounded like timed, mini-explosions as he walked down the empty hallway, briefly wondering if the vision meant the Jedi would recover to the point of needing that much space. He turned the corner and entered the huge glass structure that housed thousands of plant species, fountains, and waterfalls from the mountainside that formed streams and pools throughout the garden. The air had always been different here, soft and warm, but tonight it was cool with an edge. "Hang in there, Jaden," he whispered as he wandered toward the center of the garden and the three huge stones. Dustil sat heavily on a stone bench and pulled out a datapad.

_. . . The first of three accords . . . _

Studying the text on the stones and what he had downloaded on the datapad, he realized the words were not the same but he was certain the subject was. These were the first two accords the Midiclorians had agreed to. So what about the third? He set the thought aside. If he wanted to get any sleep tonight, he needed to concentrate on the task at hand. Shrugging his shoulders a couple of times; he began comparing words to see if he could find a common thread.

* * *

"Lights low," Carth, said when he entered the living area of his apartment. He had walked home from the restaurant where he, Kwyn and Dustil had dinner. Visas joined them toward the end to relate what the council had said . . .

"_What the hell do you mean, they're discussing it?" His low tone was edged with fury._

"_Admiral, it's not what you think." His eyes narrowed. "They know they must act, that they cannot wait. The council is merely discussing the best strategy for a course of action."_

"_Light sabers at the ready sounds good to me."_

_She lowered her voice. "Carth, I share your concern," she tipped her head to the side, "and your anxiety for Jaden. The Jedi have suffered great losses in recent wars and ultimately this is Jaden's battle to win."_

_Carth let out a quiet breath. "So I've been told."_

"_I'm sorry. Whatever defenses the council decides on, it may not be enough, but if the temple were to be destroyed, then the Jedi would soon follow. That must be their focus, and I think Jaden wants it that way." . . ._

He took off his uniform jacket, tossing it on the back of the sofa as he undid the top buttons of his shirt. For the first time in years, he found the silence of his home oppressive. In the past, Mission had been there to brighten the atmosphere even when she wasn't there. She had been making noises about getting her own place before she went to Kashyyyk, and he encouraged her, but if this is what it would be like, maybe it wasn't such a great idea after all. At least she was safe, well, until the hospital called her back. Zalbaar, now chieftain, still limited the contact the Wookies had with other worlds, but Mission was always welcome. Being a doctor helped as well. She could look after the Wookies while spending time with Big Z. Carth wanted her to stay put, but if he called the medical administrator and Mission found out, there would be no safe place from the 'blue wonder' as Dustil called her when they were kids.

He pulled a bottle of ale from the fridge, popped the cap, tossed it on the counter, and went outside to the balcony letting his mind focus on his biggest concern. He couldn't lose Telos again, he thought wiping under his eyes with his knuckles. Every horror, every ache came back ten fold each time he thought of it. This time is wasn't to prove Saul's twisted loyalty or a show of strength. This time it was because of him. Those lives would be on his conscious. At this point the Republic was doing everything they could to protect Telos. He spoke with Grenn and Dodonna was sending reinforcements. Short of throwing himself on Zared's mercy, he could only hope Jaden retrieved the key quickly and that this nightmare would end. There were losses in war, he accepted that, and had lived through the deepest loss of all, barely. Would he be able to handle this knowing the fault was his? Carth guzzled half the bottle. Would he once more be able to let go of the one thing that had become as vital as breathing?

"She's gone either way, Onasi. You better accept it," he said around a yawn as he sat on the chaise lounge and stretched out. Carth felt the sense of solace begin in his heart and spread through his body.

She wasn't gone yet, and he still owed Jaden hours and he was going to do everything in his power to make sure he repaid the debt. _Okay_, he thought as he dug the small communicator from his pocket, _maybe there was a benefit to his connection to the Force._

"How did your meeting go?"

"Are you alone," he asked.

"Yeah."

"Good." Carth took a quick swallow of ale. "So, what are you wearing?" He didn't want to talk about his meeting, battle plans, or the blasted keys. For the next few minutes, he only wanted her. He let the smile come knowing he had caught Jaden off guard.

"Not a damn thing," she purred in a smoky, sultry voice, "but thoughts of you."


	44. Chapter 43

Jaden's breath gusted out as the door to her quarter's snicked shut behind her. She was tired of being exhausted. No, more than exhausted, she was – was there a stronger word than exhausted, she thought as she sat on the bunk. Impotent? No, helpless.

Canderous gave her ten minutes, after Atton walked away, before he stormed into the cockpit and demanded to know about Atton's connection to the keys. She couldn't shake feeling disloyal as she told him about D'Nara, but Canderous had a right to know.

"Is that why he almost killed you?"

Jaden shook her head. "They, the dark masters, took over by flooding his alignment with the dark side. They used to do it to me when I was younger. Part of the training, they claimed. It's like an out of body experience. You see yourself doing . . ." she let her voice trail off and took a deep breath. "It's a struggle to overcome but it can be done."

They spoke for a few more minutes before he told her to get some sleep. She thought about going to Atton, but changed her mind. Jaden would be able to monitor him through the Force so she left him alone to come to terms with what he had learned.

Sitting on the bunk, she took a deep cleansing breath before carefully constructing barriers around her mind. She retreated to a place within herself where the Masters couldn't hear her thoughts. Jaden hadn't been here in years but arriving now gave her a sense of peace, despite the cold and pain of the dark side.

Here, she could admit to being worried what would happen next. The dark masters were angrier than what they should have been. Taking control of Atton was proof of that. And it made no sense. Yes, technically, Atton did belong to the dark side based on the agreement between the Midiclorians and the six who buried the keys, but his light side tendencies were not strong enough to warrant such a fierce reaction, regardless of his strength in the Force. No, she sighed, something else was going on, but it would have to wait. Jaden desperately needed to find her center and this was the place to do it.

Even though the Masters couldn't hear her, Jaden could still feel and listen to the universe around her. It was times like these that she sought out the good in the galaxy. She pulled close the innocent laughter of children, the soft breezes rustling through trees, and the carefree play of baby Gizka's, letting it elevate her spirit. This ability was one of the first she discovered missing when she restored Carth's life and one she went looking for the second time she joined with him.

Jaden hadn't heard from him in more than a day, but she knew he was busy with meetings and planning the Republics' defense. However, he was never far from her as she had reopened herself to the Voice. Reaching out now, Jaden found it, exhausted, worried, and lonesome. Slightly moving the fingers on her left hand, she pulled it close. She was confident it wouldn't take long for him to recognize her now that he knew, and maintaining her barriers, Jaden answered his call.

To say she was surprised by his question was a bit of an understatement. So when he asked what she was wearing, Jaden looked down the length of her - his shirt, her pants, and, she wiggled her toes, his socks. Hey, they had made up after all, right. Instinctively she knew he didn't want to talk about anything serious, so she answered the way she had. _"Not a damn thing," she purred in a smoky, sultry voice, "but thoughts of you."_ His frustrated groan had her grinning.

The Masters had told her that once he was healed, he would begin to regain pieces of his former self. Jaden never figured comm-sex being a part of that – not that that's what happened – but still. No, they spoke nothing about the current situation, instead talking about Mission Vao and how proud he was of his 'doctor daughter'. Carth had adopted the young Twi'lek in his heart and that had been official enough for both of them. It pleased Jaden to know that one lost soul, no matter how strong, had a home.

They laughed over outrageous stories of the trouble he got into with Kwyn and he told her how ridiculously shy Dustil was being when he was around this girl he liked. Carth was beginning to despair he would never have grandkids because his son wouldn't get off his ass and ask her out. It was all so . . . normal and she realized she needed it just as much as he did. Their casual conversation didn't take away from the drama or the seriousness of the mission. If anything it was a subtle reminder of what they fought for, why they had to succeed. And for Jaden, she knew what she had to do next.

Toward the end of their conversation, the talk turned more intimate and quiet. When Jaden finally disconnected she felt at peace and contented. The Voice was quiet as well and she slipped away to let it sleep.

As she deconstructed her barriers as carefully as she had built them, she was confident a dreamless sleep would come easily. She took a few moments for a luxurious stretch before opening her eyes to find herself immersed in a maelstrom of darkness.

~~ _Gotcha!_ ~~

Jaden fell from the bunk to her knees, grabbing the side of her head as icy tendrils of pain snaked their way through her brain. From there, it pooled at the base of her skull to explode through all her nerve endings. Her scream was high pitched and agonizing. "Atton!"

~~ _Scream all you want silly girl, no one can hear you._ ~~

~~ _Wh – why are you doing this?_ ~~ The words were raspy and broken. ~~ _Why?_ ~~

~~ _To teach you a lesson, why else._ ~

Jaden leaned forward as she wrapped her arms around her middle. ~~ _I've done nothing!_ ~~

~~ _You tried to take what is ours. We heard what you told him about the woman._ ~~

~~ _He had a right to know._ ~~ She fought to drag air into her lungs as panic sweat trickled down her back.

~~ _You were trying to influence him. _~~ Their voices turned whiny ~~ _Oh she was a good person Jaq, just as you are._ ~~

~~ _I told him the truth!_ ~~

~~ _He is the son of D'Nara and therefore ours!_ ~~

Jaden concentrated on blocking the pain racing through her. Every pulse point throbbed as her muscles weakened. ~~ _Then return what is mine,_ ~~ she snarled.

~~ _Yours?_ ~~

~~ _Zared._ ~~ Their burst of laughter grated over her skin like a coarse file. ~~ _He belonged to me._ ~~

~~ _Silly girl,_ ~~ they chuckled once before snapping, ~~ _nothing belongs to you._ ~~

~~ _He belonged to the light!_ ~~

~~ _Yes, until he cut himself off from the Force._ ~~

~~ _You manipulated him!_ ~~

~~ _We simply gave him a purpose for the power he had trapped within._ ~~

~~ _You stole what was mine!_ ~~

Jaden screamed again as a fresh round of pain washed over her. There was no light now, no laughter to soothe her. The echo of misery and death beat at her, clawed at her heart, and snapped at her body. The faces of those Zared and the True Sith had murdered swam in her vision, frozen in the horrified moment when they realized death was at hand.

~~ _Release the child!_ ~~

The grotesque tableau behind her closed eyes lessened as the pain receded. She sucked air into her constricted lungs as she curled into a fetal position on the floor, giving into the urge to whimper.

~~ _The child has done nothing but tell the truth._ ~~

~~ _She has defied the agreement made with the key bearers._ ~~

"No," she whispered as she began rocking back and forth. "I told the truth."

~~ _Child, you know you cannot interfere with the accords and what has passed._ ~~

~~ _I only told the truth_. ~~

~~ _You, silly girl, were influencing him,_ ~~ they sneered.

Jaden's heart rate was beginning to level, her breathing becoming easier.

~~ _Enough! _~~ The light masters snapped in a rare show of temper. ~~ _Leave her be._ ~~

~~ _She . . . _~~

~~ _Is ours at the moment, and you will not harm her now or in the future. The embodier's welfare is both our responsibilities. The child is an instrument of the Force. You know harming her is forbidden._ ~~

An icy chill permeated her body. _The instrument for his final fall._ They were quiet words and Jaden wasn't sure she even heard them through the roar of blood rushing in her ears.

~~ _They are gone, child._ ~~

Jaden shook her head and whispered. ~~ _They did something to me._ ~~

~~ _We have warned you of your vulnerability when you lock yourself away as you did._ ~~

~~ _Cold,_ ~~ she murmured.

~~ _It is the dark side of Yavin IV. You may not feel a great deal of pain since you are stronger, but the dark will manifest itself in other ways. We cannot help that._ ~~

Jaden uncurled her body slowly, stood, and made her way to the refresher. She was going to be sick.

~~ _Child?_ ~~

~~ _Just . . . leave me alone._ ~~

Pain continued to pound through her as she shuffled toward the shower, using whatever was available to propel her forward. Her breathing was labored and shallow as she fought back the tears that threatened. They hadn't just hurt her, the dark masters had violated her, raped her with their cruelty. Her fingers shook as she stripped off her clothes, her throat aching from the ragged breaths. When she was naked, she cautiously stepped into the shower and let the needle-like spray of the scalding water wash over her.

_Bastards!_ There was no call for their attack. She had done nothing wrong but tell the truth. She knew better than anyone did, that Atton's dark side tendencies were always there, shifting under the surface in his subconscious. That's why he fell so quickly on Onderon and why he set aside the trappings of the Jedi so nonchalantly. Yes, he was a scoundrel at heart, yet he balanced those tendencies with well-hidden compassion. Atton despised injustice and while he may exude a devil-may-care attitude about many things, if someone or something got past his carefully crafted illusion, he would lay down his life to preserve what was precious to him.

Maybe that was it, she thought as she slid to the floor and huddled in the corner, the water continuing to beat against her skin. Atton didn't play by the rules and so the dark masters lashed out at her, thinking she was responsible. "I'm not," she whispered as the sobs finally took over, demanding release. "I'm not!"

* * *

HK was the one to wake her the following morning, complaining bitterly that he was unable to kill the 'meatbag Jedi' for attacking her. "Irritated Statement: How can I protect you Master, if you continue to put restrictions on my primary function?"

"Keep it up," she snapped, "and 'Hunter/Killer' will become," she absently waved her hand in aggravation, "Happy Kisser." Jaden knew she wasn't being fair to the droid but his personal resentment wasn't her concern at the moment.

After she had managed to bring her emotions under control last night, she had brought up the timeline and studied it. There was a point, just weeks in the future that pulsed ominously across all lines. It hadn't been that noticeable before since the timeline generally had thousands of them but if enough separate events lead to the same result it would show clearly. Jaden didn't bother to bring it up. It would show her and Zared battling it out, not the outcome. Her job was making sure the pulsing turned to a steady white point.

"You and T3 are to stay on the ship," she said handing him a datapad, "and follow my orders." HK said nothing as he left the room.

As Jaden dressed, the thick, greasy ball of darkness rolled in her gut like a bomb. She had gone back a few hours on the time line and replayed the attack of the dark side. _The instrument of his final fall._ They were setting Atton up by using her, knowing that if she interfered they could punish her further. It still made no sense. The already had Zared. They didn't need Atton except to cause her pain. Or distract her.

She sat on the bunk, pulling on her boots. Atton needed to be watched, but she couldn't let him touch her. Tricky but doable, she hoped. This was step one of her plan to end this fracking nightmare – deny the dark masters by keeping him on the path of the light side.

As Jaden approached the bridge, she heard Atton's voice.

"I'm just saying . . ."

"Utapau."

"Sure. Pau-pau-pau-Uta-pau-pau-pau," he sang somewhat off-key. "Sounds better than Yaaavin." His nasally whine scraped over her still raw skin but didn't stop her chuckle.

_Resilient_, came to Jaden's mind as she reached out to find Atton in the Force. His mind was sealed up tighter than an airlock, but the tension she felt the night before had abated.

Canderous sat in the copilot's chair as Atton flew the Ebon Hawk just above the trees of Yavin IV. A grouping of Massassi temples could be seen in the distance. Below them Jaden could see the wreckage and remnants of ships and the battle waged here by Ulic Qel-Droma and the Republic against Exar Kun. She had told Atton her predecessor was a bit of an ass, but that had been an understatement. He was partially responsible for the Great Sith War and Exar Kun's fall to the dark side.

~~ _He was quite masterful at deceit as well._ ~~

The dark masters were back and something nasty shifted within her. _They wouldn't win, not this time. _~~ _I wonder where he learned that._ ~~ She responded snidely.

~~ _Silly, silly girl. It was only a bit of fun._ ~~

~~ _Mindless death and destruction always is._ ~~

~~ _Yes, Darth Tyr, enabler of Revan it was, wasn't it. I wonder what your lover would think of that._ ~~ Jaden closed her eyes. ~~_ Isn't it hypocritical to judge others when there is blood on your hands as well?_ ~~

~~ _But not by my choice as it was his._ ~~

~~ _Bah! Even proxy decisions have consequences, silly girl._ ~~

"This is it," Canderous said.

"There was a clearing a few clicks back, I'll set us down there," Atton said turning to her.

Beneath the carefully camouflaged hurt was anger and apprehension. The confidence in his decision to follow the light had been shaken. "We'll contact you when we have the key and you can pick us up," he added.

"I'm going with you." Her voice was quiet, straining against her heartache.

"I'm surprised you're even standing being this close to this much dark side energy."

_Set it aside_, she told herself at his accusatory tone. "You want to face Exar Kun on your own if he decides to show up?"

"Kun's dead. How much trouble can his spirit cause," Canderous asked watching the two of them as the tension washed over him.

"You'd be surprised. Besides, we're about to take one of the reasons he's here in the first place. I'd fight if I was him." Atton raised a brow. "I'll be fine. The joinings with Carth have made me stronger." _Plus, what I took from Zared will help me use the darkness of the tombs_.

The inside pocket of her jacket began to vibrate. Jaden excused herself, went to the small comm room, and shut the door. "Good morning," she said after digging the small unit from her pocket.

She heard Carth's hesitation. "Everything all right? You sound . . . tired."

_And in pain, and pissed, and cold, _she sighed. "Someone kept me up last night, but I'll be fine. We're getting ready to land. What's going on there?"

Jaden could hear the frustration in his voice as he explained what had transpired. She couldn't blame him. Zared's fleet was numerous so stretching the Republic thin was rather easy. "The shipping lanes are in chaos, several systems have stopped transporting goods. Manaan is now under his control. He's hit Sleheyron -."

"Sleheyron?" she asked interrupting.

"Yeah. Jaden, he's going after Telos." She didn't need to be joined with him to hear his dismay. The voice echoed it within her. "We're sending reinforcements to Citadel Station but it won't be enough, will it."

Jaden tipped her head back and closed her eyes. "Carth . . ."

"Why didn't you tell me he breached your defenses? And that the he could do that because of me and what I did." It was said in a hurried manner remembering when he lashed out at her.

"You've done nothing," she sighed. ~~ _Why did you tell him?_ ~~

"Well, I beg to differ, but I don't want to argue with you right now."

Jaden chuckled. "There's a first."

"Yeah, well apparently I'm freaking my son out, too."

Jaden heard the reluctant smile in his voice. "The new and improved Carth Onasi?"

"I'm working on it," he said quietly. "I only had a few minutes, but I wanted to check in with you this morning since we didn't talk about any of this last night. Thanks, by the way," he said softly. "I needed to set this all aside and have something ordinary. We'll talk about the rest when you get home."

"Sure," she answered forcing her voice to sound normal.

She sat in the small room for several minutes after he signed off. _But you won't be there when I get home._

~ _Child?_ ~~

~~ _I know what I'm doing._ ~~

* * *

"Do you know what the problem with efficiency is?" Zared asked as he lounged in the conference room chair, his boots on the table as he used his finger to spin one of the data pads.

Radha spared him a brief, annoyed look. "What is that youngling?"

"There's nothing for me to do."

Well, that wasn't entirely true. A few days ago, while the Gehenna engaged the cruisers, Zared and one squad of elite myrmidons, boarded the capital ship, _Triumph_, and easily made their way to the bridge. A Captain Gerard was desperately calling for help and firing the ship's cannons in vain. So engrossed in surviving, he didn't see Zared standing behind him, saber engaged, his black boots bloodied. Tired of being ignored he began picking off the stunned officers on the bridge with nothing but a thought.

Gerard's eyes filled with terror when he spun to see Zared with his hands on his hips. "Admiral O . . ." his neck snapped to the side and he puddled to the floor, eyes frozen in fear, blood tricking from his nose.

Zared nodded to his own commander before he turned on his heel, his long black coat, fluid as water, swirling around his boots. An hour later, he gave the order to destroy the battle group that answered the _Triumph's_ distress call before resuming his course for Telos.

Commander Hytak had reported he was disappointed with many of the Kath-Sith he found on the worlds Zared had given him to check out. A pitiful handful had been acceptable. The rest he executed and destroyed their bases.

Manaan had been a bit more difficult until Zared ordered Captain Wenrif to destroy the Republic embassy and their ships' hangers. He reported back a day later that Manaan was now under their rule. There were pockets of resistance, Selkath, Republic, and Kath-Sith, but he had it under control.

Sleheyron and the tankers bound for Telos were the most satisfying. "I hope you choke," he had muttered as he read the reports, thinking of Carth and what he had done to Jaden. That was two days ago and what he thought would take longer, had been taken care of quickly and efficiently; hence his question to Radha.

"I hadn't noticed," the elderly historian said sarcastically.

Zared lazily looked at Radha with a raised brow. "Any luck on the third key?"

"Not yet." The truth was, Radha wasn't even looking. He had his assistants going over the information. He knew Jaden would get the key first. They would still have to go to Coruscant so a few days wouldn't matter. He only hoped Jaden would gather _all_ the artifacts and not just the key. Those were of the most interest to him after all.

A young man nervously hustled into the room and over to Zared. He leaned in and whispered something quickly before he backed away.

Zared's feet slammed to the floor and he shot out of the chair. "Are you joking?"

"No, Milord," the young man assured him somewhat distressed that if he wasn't believed he was dead. "Captain Ebs is verifying the signal right now."

_Lucian Ebs caught Zared in a good mood and convinced him to "demote" him to captain. He didn't want to be an Admiral. "To much paperwork."_

"_Better pay."_

"_And benefits." Ebs looked Zared straight in the eye. "Respectfully Milord, I haven't earned it. If I'm to properly serve my emperor, I must show my strength as a True Sith."_

_Zared nodded. The man's unswerving loyalty settled comfortably within him. _

He shook off the brief memory as he strode purposely to the comm unit at the end of the conference room. He paused a moment before pressing the button. "Darling? What a pleasant surprise."

"I need a ride."

* * *

Jaden found Canderous and Atton in the maintenance bay gearing up.

"Everything okay at home?" Atton asked quietly.

"If you consider chaos okay. Zared's going after Telos."

"Again? Third time's the charm."

Jaden rolled her eyes. "He's hit some of the refineries on Sleheyron and Carth thinks he may go after Vogga the Hutt. The Republic is sending a detail to Nar Shadda to protect him."

"The Republic, protecting a crime lord. Huh," Atton said frowning.

"Why is Zared going to all that trouble," Canderous asked. "Why not just blow up Citadel Station and the planet."

"Where's the fun in that," she said hooking her saber to her belt. "One of the tactics of the True Sith is to play with their prey. Another is intimidation. Create fear and systems will fall in line. Destroy them and you risk creating martyrs rebels can rally around. Can't have that." Atton was looking at her curiously when she looked up. "You didn't expect the Sith'ari to say something different, did you?"

Atton slowly shook his head as Canderous joined him to watch Jaden head for the loading ramp of the Ebon Hawk. "What the hell was that about?"

"I'm not sure," he said as both men followed. "Let's just get this done and get the hell outta here."

* * *

_Slorp, slorp, slorp_. They had been slogging along the muddy trail to the temples for the past hour. Atton's boots were destroyed, he was sure of it, and his breathing had begun to pace the _slorping_ sounds each step made. "Ugh! Why can't the Sith find worlds like Spira to inhabit. At least there, there's a beach and cool breezes. But _nooo_, they have to pick a damn jungle where it constantly rains and is muddy."

"Reminds me of home." Canderous thought of Dxun. "The challenge of the environment and the beasts wandering the jungle."

"Yeah, well it's ruining my boots and they were expensive," Atton grumbled. "Why the hell did they pick here to bury the key?"

"Because this is one of the planets, or moon in this case, that the dark masters claimed as their own." Jaden said as she trailed behind Atton. "And just so you know not all Sith worlds are like this. The home world of the Sith'ari puts the silly girl's home of Naboo to shame."

Canderous exchanged a look with Atton.

"According to history," Jaden went on, "the ancient Jedi actually built an underground city and used it to change the climate so technically you need to blame yourself for your ruined boots." Jaden smiled at him.

"Jaden," Atton said in a hesitant manner. Since he couldn't feel anything from her, it was a little disconcerting. This was the second time she had said something odd.

"Why did the Jedi build a city if this was a dark world?" Jaden waved her hand around her.

"Okay, why?" That wasn't what he was going to ask but he went with it.

"Think of it as the emergency gift you buy for special occasions. It wasn't needed when we claimed it, but it has come in handy to have."

"We?"

"What?" She shook her head slightly. "Anyway," she went on, "the Jedi abandoned the city, and the moon was basically deserted until Naga Sadow showed up with his Massassi warriors after his defeat during the Great Hyperspace war.

"Despite his Sith alchemic experiments on the warriors, they treated him like a god. They built the temples and protected him after he put himself in a coma-like state."

"Why did he do that?" Canderous asked as he stepped aside so Atton could hack at the trail with his saber.

"Because we allowed it."

Canderous poked at Atton with the barrel of his rifle. "I heard," he mumbled.

"When Freedon Nadd showed up, the Massassi attacked but by using the Force, Nadd convinced them he was worthy and they took the fallen Jedi to Naga Sadow. Once awake, Sadow taught him all about the Sith. When he was done, Nadd killed him and claimed the title of Dark Lord."

"Then how did Freedon Nadd wind up on Dxun," Canderous asked. "We didn't even know his tomb was there until the Exile, Zared, fixed the sensor array."

"Or that it was crawling with Darth Nihilous's troops." Atton added in a petulant tone.

Jaden smiled at him. "You did fine, Atton."

"Thanks to Visas and Mira."

"On your own as well." It was then, standing in the tomb being taunted by the Sith commander, that Atton realized he was slipping back to the dark side and began to reject again what he once was. "Nadd originally went to Onderon and conquered it, proclaiming himself king. When he died, he was buried below the palace in Iziz. His spirit continued to corrupt the citizens until Jedi Master Arca Jeth confronted him toward the end of the Beast War. Nadd tried to corrupt Jeth but failed. Jeth moved his body to Dxun."

"You know, for someone who claims history bores her, you tend to remember it," Canderous said sarcastically.

"It's hard to forget what you create," Jaden said as the three of them stepped from the tree line and into a clearing filled with three massive stone temples. "The design is unique to Sith architecture. It focuses dark powers."

As she went on ahead, Canderous grabbed Atton's arm. "What the hell is going on?"

"I don't know, but we shouldn't be here."

"One of your bad feelings?"

"No," he looked at Canderous. "A very, very, _very_ bad feeling."

"Has she fallen?"

Atton shrugged. "I don't know, it like there's . . ."

"Someone else here."

"Let's go boys. We're burning day light."

Both men took a deep breath and followed her to the center temple. "Get in, get the key, and get out. That's the plan," she said when they flanked her.

"Fine with me. How do we get in?" Atton studied the solid stone façade.

"If I remember correctly, the entrance is around the other side," Canderous answered and began walking away.

Atton took this chance and reached out to grab Jaden's sleeve. Cold, like nothing he felt before burned his skin and he jumped back. "What the hell? I'd ask if you were all right but it's obvious you're not."

Jaden quickly shook her head and began walking away. Atton hustled after her and went to grab her again but she spun away. "Don't touch me!" She hissed with a snarl.

"All right, all right. Let's just get this over with," he snapped and walked past her.

"Atton . . . Atton . . . Damnit, Jaq!"

He grimaced against the quick flair of anger. "What?"

~~ _Child, you cannot interfere. He rightfully belongs to them._ ~~

~~ _No! They're using me to set him up. _ ~~

"What?"

It was already to late. Jaden felt the cold knot of darkness fade. _Please don't give in. Promise me you won't._

~~ _What a delightful sight to see you fail. _ ~~

Atton glared at her before he spun away.


	45. Chapter 44

The cold was like an insidious virus - icy, oily, and slick. The moment Atton had touched Jaden he could feel it crawl along muscle, bone, and nerve, throbbing through his body with each heartbeat. As it pulsed, it flashed images in his mind of the first time he picked a pocket, the first con he ran - bilking an old woman of her life's credits - the first robbery, the first murder.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop the images, couldn't stop the feeling he was slipping away, that the monster he once was, was breaking free of the prison he had created in the deepest, darkest corner of his soul.

_~~ This is what you are. ~~ _

It fought and clawed its way free to reach up and grab his throat.

_He stood in the shadows at the mouth of an alley, its stink of turned garbage and stale vomit, masking his own scent. It shouldn't be too much longer, he thought, faintly hearing a gurgle behind him. He had been patient and – he heard footsteps approaching – it was about to pay off. _

_He stepped further into the shadows and pulled his hood back as the footfalls came closer. The moment the robed figure passed, his hands shot out, grabbed the head, and gave it a vicious twist; the snap of the neck sounding like a shot in the dead of night. No one would come to investigate, not in this neighborhood._

He pulled the lifeless body into the shadows before he began rifling through the pockets; a Pazaak deck, hundreds in credits, and a small manual that he tossed carelessly into the alley. Ah, here's what he wanted, the Lightsaber. This he added to the deck and credits and stuffed them into his bag.

_He turned, walked further into the fetid fog of the alley as he pulled out a small communicator. "It's done."_

"_Excellent. Your next target . . ."_

_He leaned down and pulled the stiletto from the neck of the source of the gurgling sound. "Thanks for the tip, Sasha." He stepped over the woman's body, ignored the open staring eyes, and disappeared into the night . . ._

Atton shook off the jarring memory and looked over to where Jaden and Canderous stood. Sweat began to trickle down his back. She glanced at him with a worried look then turned back to Canderous.

_~~ She doesn't trust you. ~~_

He squeezed his eyes shut briefly before crossing the main chamber to join them and begin the search for the key.

_Piece of cake, he thought as he walked down the crowded sidewalk toward the target. The sheer arrogance of the Jedi would only make this assignment that much sweeter. He was ready; the pressure syringe filled with the fast acting poison Revan had given him. Just a little jostle, grab the man's arm, lift the saber and it was done . . . _

Jaden looked at him wincing, then at her arm where his grip was vice-tight. "Ow!"

"Sorry." Atton quickly dropped his hand and stepped back.

_~~You must finish her! She is the prize. The ultimate Jedi. ~~_

He pointed to the jagged floor of the temple. "I, ah, didn't want you to trip."

Jaden studied him a moment as she absently reached up and rubbed away the ache his crushing grip had caused. She could see what was going through his mind, what the dark masters were doing to him. She also saw the inner battle he was waging. _Don't give in!_

What was wrong with him? Ever since he touched her, he felt as if he was trapped in a macabre virtual reality game gone amok. He could see and hear himself but he had no control over what he did or said. His vision began to blur at the edges, tinged in a red haze.

_~~ She has done this to you. ~~_

He took a quick shallow breath and shook his head once hoping to dislodge the strange voices.

_He didn't know why he had been summoned. He had done everything Revan and Malak ordered him to. Hell, he'd even thrown in a few Jedi and high-ranking Republic officers he stumbled across, so to be recalled was troubling._

_He set aside the thought as he schooled his features into a mask of obedience as he walked down the long durasteel span to where Revan stood on the bridge. Kneeling he asked, "You sent for me?"_

_She turned, her robes flowing about her boots. "I did," she said in a faint steely tone behind the black mask she had taken to wearing. He knew what the ravages of the dark side could do to one that wielded its power. However beautiful Revan may have been, her skin was now a pasty gray, lined with red and black slashes, like a spider's silken web ready to catch unsuspecting prey._

_As he stood, he noticed a black mist almost wraith like surrounding Revan, as if to caress her. "What is your bidding?"_

_Revan walked around him, trailing a pale hand over his shoulders. "There is a child I need you to take care of. She is but a Padawan . . ."_

_As she spoke, his mind wandered to the mist that continued to swirl in front of him, twisting and shaping itself into a beautiful woman. ~~ You are my greatest weapon Jaq, and will be handsomely rewarded. ~~_

"Atton!" Canderous grabbed his arm and gave him a violent shake. "Pay attention."

His head whipped around searching for her. "Where is she?" Shock skittered along his nerves as the cold darkness cruised through his fiery blood.

"Jaden went to the sarcophagus. Something about an amulet."

"Right," he sneered, covering the stark terror as he pushed past Canderous to continue down the corridor.

~~ Do you see now? She has used you for years, has known of your connection to D'Nara. ~~

_It's a lie._

_~~ We chose only the strongest to bury the keys. His power had he truly known his purpose, would have exceeded all who call themselves Sith. She knows this and tastes fear. ~~_

Atton tried to raise every barrier he knew, every mind blocking technique he had learned but the darkness, the anger still nipped at him in this bizarre prison he was trapped in.

He failed you, Revan. He hides like a coward. You must destroy him. If he will not serve me, he must be made an example of . . .

"Stand back," Canderous said as he raised his rifle and blasted a pile of rocks. They were standing in a large empty chamber, lit by a few torches, below the main tomb.

Atton only turned his head as rock and dust exploded around them. Once settled he could see the anteroom that lead to another, smaller, chamber. The obelisk and key were partially buried in sand and the remnants of rotted wood. Darkness unlike any he had known before, rushed out to greet him, embracing his heart.

_The man is a fool. Let him dig his pit for it will save me the trouble of digging his grave. Listen to him prattle on about our responsibility to society. Ha! The powers that be owe me for this fool's errand. Once I possess the jewel of the key, society will be responsible to serve me. Those that don't will find their peace and justice crushed under my army's boots. They have promised me this and much more. Never again will I have to watch over my shoulder. I will kill my enemies and those that cross me with impunity. Moreover, once I have the other keys, I will rule the galaxy._

_No longer will I have to suffer this dotard's looks of pity, his sermons on the righteousness of our mission, or his attempts to show me the error of my ways, get me to atone for my crimes. Slitting the throat of a man who has mocked you is justice. Brutalizing a woman who believes herself better is only teaching a lesson. It is the rich that step on the necks of the poor, bleeding them dry. It is no crime that I have found a way to repay them._

"_That should do it," Ti'Fis announced as he set the shovel aside and crawled from the pit. "Will you at least help me with the crate?"_

_If his voice was any more effeminate, I thought I could kill him for that alone. The pious morality was an added bonus as was the piss poor card playing. I had planned to rob him anyway, once he was dead, but cheating his credits from him was a way to pass the time. What a hypocrite, preaching about morality while gambling._

_Ti'Fis went to the crate and began to open it. "What are you doing? We were told not to open the box." _

"_Of course. I let my curiosity get the better of me. Perhaps there is hope for you yet, D'Nara."_

Yeah, I thought, hope you'll die a slow and painful death. I ignited the strange, lighted sword those weirdos gave me and swung . . .

"Atton!" Jaden shouted as her saber sprang to her hand to block his killing blow.

_What the hell am I doing? _He shouted in his mind. _Stop!_ But he couldn't. He felt the dark power flood through him, yet he was powerless to control it.

He pushed back, causing her to stumble away. "Don't do this," she yelled to the room at large. Quickly gaining her balance she parried. His eyes were black and empty. "Let him go!"

Atton, frantic now silently screamed _I couldn't! I can't stop what is happening!_

"What's going on?" Canderous roared as he set down the stone obelisk.

"Stay out of this, filthy Mandalorian." Atton's hand swung out and sent a push wave strong enough to throw Canderous across the chamber where his body slammed into the wall and crumpled.

_Canderous!_ He tried to go to his friend but he couldn't make his feet move. He couldn't move. _What have I done?_

"Atton," she pushed him away and blocked his next attack. Pain shimmied up her arms. "Atton. Listen to me!"

I am! But I . . .

"Ah, ah, ah." The air around them vibrated as the spectral image of Exar Kun materialized. He stood, feet planted apart with his arms crossed over his black armored chest. He was a tall man, strongly built with a square jaw, close cropped hair and dark eyes. "I've been told you cannot interfere."

"They lied," she shouted as she quickly countered each aggressive move from Atton. "This doesn't concern you, Kun. Go back to your hidey-hole."

"_You_ lied!" Atton yelled. "You used me! Are still using me!"

"No. I haven't lied . . ."

"I saw you on the bridge of Revan's ship." He began a furious combination forcing Jaden back.

"It wasn't me, Atton." Her muscles quivered as she maintained the saber lock. The power the dark masters had given him was beginning to drain her own.

"Then you turned her against me!" He forced her saber down just enough to slam his fist into her jaw.

Her head snapped back and she went down.

"Excellent shot." Kun praised.

Jaden's eyes fluttered open in time to see Atton's blue saber begin its downward arc. She stopped it a hairsbreadth from her neck before she raised her foot and kicked out, sending him across the room.

"Get up," Kun hissed. "Finish what you've begun. Finish her!"

"Why don't you pick on someone your own size?" Jaden's words whipped out as she got up. "Oh, wait. I almost forgot. It was your cowardice that tied you to these tombs." She snorted. "To afraid to face your former apprentice, a man stripped of the Force."

He bellowed his outrage as he ignited his double-bladed saber and came toward her.

Jaden whispered quick words and braced herself for the saber slash from shoulder to hip. In the stunned silence that followed, she turned and smirked. "Missed me."

"But I won't."

"Atton, no!" She leapt aside, his saber glancing off her shoulder. She cried out as white-hot pain flooded her system. Stumbling away, she held her left arm close to her chest as she defended herself with her right. "Don't let them do this, Atton." She fought back the tears.

"Shut up."

"Don't let the dark side win." His next blow was so vicious she almost lost her weapon. "You're not D'Nara, Jaq. You're your own man."

"Shut up!"

_~~ Her lies and deceptions weaken her. ~~_

"Finish it, Jaq Rand, and you will end the Jedi once and for all."

_No! I can't. I won't do this. I won't!_

~~ Reclaim your birthright! What Jaden stole from you in order to keep her own power. ~~

"Fight this," she pleaded when she found herself shoulder to shoulder with him. "Atton, you must fight them." When her eyes locked with his, she could see the faint glint of terror and confusion that was _her_ Atton; under the beast, the dark masters had created.

_I'm trying, Jaden. I'm trying!_ He dug down below the thickening darkness, the naked panic then watched in horror as he shoved her away, causing her to trip back, fall, and hit her head on the obelisk.

* * *

He wasn't sure what woke him, caused him to sit straight up in bed drawing in a sharp breath. Zared gave a quick look to the two naked slave girls beside him but they were still sleeping. He pressed the heel of his hand to the bridge of his nose as power pounded through his head.

When he crawled from the bed a wave of energy rolled through him almost causing him to pass out. He took deep, steadying breaths until the sensation passed.

Something is happening, he thought as he went to the sink to splash cold water on his face. Looking in the mirror, water dripping from his chin, Zared was assaulted by another wave. This wasn't like the other times; the shock waves Jaden sent through the Force. This was more like a beast fighting to get free.

~~_ What is going on?_ ~~ He gripped the side of the sink, closing his eyes. When he opened them, he found himself standing on an endless plane of black and red mist. A faint silvery glow steps away.

* * *

"Jaden."

She felt a light poke on her cheek.

"Darling."

Her eyes flew open to find vivid blue ones studying her with concern and confusion. "Am I done yet?"

He gave her a quick, brilliant grin. "We have to stop meeting like this." Zared stood, offered his hand, and helped her up. "Whatever meeting like this, is," he added in a murmur.

Jaden looked around at the swirling black mist pulsing over the violent red glow. "It's the dark side." She looked at him. "You." She reached up and gingerly touched the lump forming at the back of her head, sucking in air though her teeth.

"Did Onasi do this?" His demand caused the mist to darken and pulse ominously.

"No," she sighed ignoring the needle-like sensation on her skin. "He has nothing to do with this." She looked at her shoulder. "Or any of this for that matter. You need to leave Telos alone."

"Hmm." He cupped the back of her head; put his other hand on her bleeding shoulder as he placed his warm lips on her brow. _Like that's going to happen._

It wasn't just the healing touch she felt ease the screaming pain in her head and arm, but also a return of some of the power he had taken from her. She stepped back to break the connection.

"Better?"

She nodded as the rich low tones of his voice caressed her. "Thank you," she said looking up then over his shoulder. Her eyes widened briefly before she forcefully elbowed him aside and blocked the powerful down swing of Exar Kun's saber.

"You bitch!"

"Yeah, yeah, blah, blah." She rammed her elbow up into his jaw and stepped back. "Stay outta this," she said when she heard Zared ignite his saber.

"Are you certain, darling?"

"Absolutely." And she launched into an offensive barrage of moves that was stunning in its ferocity. Jaden wasn't sure what would happen if Kun managed to get in a lucky shot and took Zared down. She had to keep him safe. _How's that for irony?_ They may not be able to harm one another in this place, but that didn't mean someone else couldn't.

"You cannot win here," Kun said with a swing at her feet she agile jumped. "I am the darkness."

"You're a hack and a coward." She ducked under his saber as she jammed her knee into his gut.

Zared frowned, crossing his arms. "Darling, is it wise to incite the insane dark lord?"

Kun's outrage may have made him powerful but it also gave Jaden something to use against him. She couldn't draw the darkness she needed for this fight from Zared. She wouldn't risk trapping them in the dark side, dooming the galaxy and them both to death.

Jaden shrugged as she and Kun circled one another. "He did run like a girl when the Republic showed up at his doorstep."

"True enough."

Kun sneered. "You're as pathetic as she is," he said raising his arm as he kept his dark eyes leveled on Jaden. He sent a stream of Force Lightning toward Zared who raised his hand in a bored manner and absorbed the energy.

"Please," he drolled pointing at his chest. "Sith'ari."

Jaden gave Kun a cheesy grin. "Grand Master Jedi." The grin dropped. "Uh-oh," exploded out of her mouth a moment before he came at her again. As she parried, ducked, and spun to avoid his vicious attacks, she could feel her body being pulled in a different direction. _No, not now_, she thought as she felt herself being tugged back.

The tiny distraction was all it took. Kun slammed his body against her, sending her off her feet and knocking the air from her lungs. She couldn't breathe, let alone move, and watched as he stalked her. She was tugged at once more as she gathered the darkness around her to move.

"The Jedi are weak," he said igniting his saber.

"Not this one." She channeled every ounce of power into her hand and shoved him back to the purgatory he created for himself. Then, she passed out.

* * *

Atton stood by in stunned horror as he watched himself walk to the prone and still body of Jaden.

_~~ Finish her! ~~_

Blood trickled from the back of her head, her sleeve bloodied from her shoulder wound.

_~~ It is less than she deserves. Kill her! ~~_

The saber in the hand that was not his own sprang to life.

* * *

"Jaden? Come on, darling." Zared was down on one knee brushing her choppy hair from her brow. "Wake up, Jaden," he added in a sharp tone.

"Aeden?"

He may not fully understand what was going on – what brought him to this place – but he knew Jaden being hurt wasn't good. Relief flooded through him. "Did you know that rhymes?"

"Trust me," she added a grunt as he helped her sit up. "It wasn't meant to."

"Would you care to explain why we're here?"

She looked around the darkness that went on forever. "Atton must have pushed me into the obelisk when we were fighting."

"Like when I touched the one that belongs to the light." The statement brought on the sudden memory of the vision he had when he felt something was wrong with her.

Jaden nodded.

"Do you make it a habit to piss off all the men in your life?" He asked cocking a brow.

She chuckled and patted his knee. "Only the ones I care about."

* * *

_No!_ He had to stop this. He didn't understand why this was happening. Why couldn't he stop this? Atton continued the frantic search within himself for anything that would end this insanity. Then he heard it, faint, but it was there. "_This is not who you are . . . You must fight this."_ He grabbed at the memory of her words and held on.

_~~ She has lied, used, and manipulated you. ~~_ Their tone was taking on a frantic edge. _~~ She must be stopped! ~~_

"_You're a good man. One of the best I know."_ Jaden had told him in the lounge on the Sojourn.

_~~ She took your pride; robbed you of your strength. ~~_

_No! You're lying._

* * *

"So. Was that really Exar Kun?"

"Unfortunately." She let him help her stand. "Your . . . masters are trying to get to me through Atton. He's not playing by their rules. Neither are you, for what it's worth. They must of told Kun what was going on and to distract me." She took a deep breath. "He won't be bothering anyone for the next four thousand years or so." _Let the son of the next 'Chosen One' deal with him,_ she thought nastily.

Zared cocked his left brow, "Did you say four _thousand_ years?"

Jaden bent over as the tugging became stronger, causing her to step back.

* * *

_~~ We are in your blood. Do you really believe you can deny what you are? ~~_

Both hands held the saber; ready to plunge in the lifeless body at his feet.

". . . One of the galaxy's greatest Jedi."

_I won't do this. You cannot make me._

* * *

He grabbed her elbow when she wavered. "Damn it, Jaden. What did Atton do to you?" Zared rubbed her back as she took deep breaths.

"No, it's not that."

* * *

_~~ We can and we will! ~~_

Atton fought, and fought hard, against the urge to plunge his saber into Jaden. He pushed aside the vile images of his past, the violence of his actions and finally accepted what he had been and realized it wasn't something to bury under fear but to use as a tool for strength and guidance going forward. That's what Jaden had been trying to tell him since she rescued him on Malachor V and he'd been afraid to believe her. It was simpler to want peace and accept his disillusionment. It took strength of character to accept his failings and use those lessons for growth, something Atton had buried under the wise cracks and flippant attitude. Jaden had been right – his darkness, what he had done, was a part of him but it wasn't who he was unless he allowed it.

"No!" He screamed as he flung the saber at the wall. The force of the throw shattered his weapon against the stones, as the clutch of the darkness faded. _I am Jaq Atton Rand, Jedi Knight._

* * *

Jaden took a deep breath and straightened. Her smile was slow but radiant, her eyes glowing as relief rolled through her. "He did it," she told Zared with a carefree laugh before she framed his face with her hands and gave him a noisy kiss.

* * *

"I'm sorry," he whispered dragging in deep breaths as he dropped to his knees. "I am so sorry." He lifted her gently, cradled her head against his chest. "Don't do this Jaden. Come on, honey, wake up. I promise to take the trials. I'll wear the damn robes. I'll drink tea."

* * *

"We need to leave," she whispered against his lips.

"Why?"

The ground beneath them began to shake violently and a horrendous scream of anger began to build.

~ _You will not get away with this! _~~

"That's why."

"What the hell . . .?" He wondered, hunching his shoulders against the sound.

"That's the sound of poor losers." She stepped out of his arms and looked around. "You failed, you bastards."

The mist around their feet began to thicken and swirl into a wraith like form in front of her. It reared back once, preparing to strike. Jaden raised her hand halting its attack.

Zared watched his saber ready if he needed to defend her, as Jaden stared into the heart of the darkness.

"Don't even think about it."

"Darling . . ."

"I wasn't talking to you." She slowly lowered her hand. "It's finished. He made his choice. You tried and you failed and you will not touch what is now mine."

~~ _You dare dictate to us?_ ~~

"Yes." She tipped her head to the side. "I am your embodiment and therefore you."

A sick feeling began in his gut. "Jaden, what the hell are you talking about? Embodiment of whom."

~~ _You, silly girl, are nothing._ ~~

Jaden's left hand snapped out, viper quick and grabbed the wraith by the throat. "You haven't told him." It was a simple statement yet her outrage was evident.

"Told me what?" He demanded, as the sick feeling morphed into fury that radiated through him as he observed Jaden and the . . . dark wraith study each other with a knowledge that was clearly intimate.

"You have something that belongs to me." She saw a tendril of the dark masters' snake under the mist toward Zared. In a flash, she ignited her saber and stabbed it into the floor through the ghostly appendage inches from his boot. "Mine!"

Their howl of outrage had Zared stiffening.

~~ _Destroy her!_ ~~ They demanded. ~~_ Take what is rightfully yours._ ~~

It wasn't a tug now she felt, but whatever power she had was being leeched from her. Her saber fell from her hand when the dark side pushed away.

~~_ She is defenseless. Strike her down! _ ~~

Jaden watched as the wraith of the dark masters curled themselves around a stunned Zared.

~~ _The son of D'Nara has delivered her to you, ~~_ they said quickly. ~~ _End this! Claim the Valley of the Jedi._ ~~

Maybe they hadn't failed after all, she thought. Jaden knew they were setting her up, but she thought it was to reclaim Atton. Not deliver her to her enemy.

Zared's eyes flashed as he engaged his saber.

"Don't do it, Aeden."

The dark masters hissed from over his shoulder.

"The Sith'ari controls the dark side," she told him holding his gaze.

~~ _Do not listen to her. You're a breath away from victory!_ ~

He vibrated with conflicting emotions and thoughts as flashes of memories paraded through his mind. The scream he now recognized as Jaden's when he cut himself off from the Force, Kreia's words as he destroyed those that stood in his way, Jaden, on Korriban asking how it felt to be cut off from the dark side. Words, they were just words, but he was beginning to believe he'd been had.

"Shut up," he snapped spinning and slicing through the misty wraith at his back.

Jaden took calming breaths as their icy grip faded. When Zared flipped off his saber, they stood in the silence. She could feel his anger, the purity, and its darkness, but it was his. Not the dark masters.

"What do I have that is yours?" The question was quiet, deadly in its intensity.

Jaden walked to him and brushed his black silky hair from his cheek as the ground trembled once more. When she looked at him, her eyes were dark and flat. "My empire." She trailed her fingers from his cheek to his heart, stealing a little more of her power.

* * *

"I'll make Master Vandar look like a first year Padawan. Just don't die on me!"

"Then let me breathe," she mumbled against the lapel of his jacket.

There was so much relief in his eyes she carefully lifted her hand to cup his cheek. "I'll hold you to the trials. The rest is negotiable."


	46. Chapter 45

Studying the inside of his eyelids, Atton thought, _I can see my heartbeat_. It sorta looked like a new type of hyperspace route map with each pulse representing a ship, which, all things considered, was a good thing. He could have done without the pounding and throbbing in his head but it was a small price to pay knowing Canderous opted to beat the crap out of him and not kill him. _Note to self: Never Force Push a Mandalorian against the stone wall of a dark lord's tomb. No matter who, or what, you are._ When he managed to lift his lids, the harsh lights of the cargo bay seared through his eyeballs to his brain.

The moment they had stowed the obelisk and the key, Canderous had clocked him just under the jaw with his elbow. From there, well Atton didn't remember much after that. He had explained what had happened, how the dark side manipulated him, with Jaden verifying the telling, but he supposed he had it coming. But why hadn't Jaden stopped Canderous from tap dancing on his ribs?

Okay, the first order of business was to take care of this hideous pain. Closing his eyes against the malicious light, Atton drew on the Force and its healing power. As the soothing balm of energy flowed through him, his breathing became easier and his heart returned to its normal _thump-thump_. His muscles still protested when he sat up, but hey, at least he could sit up. Looking down Atton was pleased to find his entrails hadn't been yanked out and tied in a nifty bow.

Rolling to his side he grunted as he levered himself up only to find his face smacked into the ribbed durasteel plating of the floor. "Oh, that can't be good," he mumbled. His right knee throbbed. Force Healing only went so far especially when it wasn't one of your stronger talents.

Where the hell was Jaden? Surely, she could hear him flopping around like a fish on shore. When no one showed up he frowned, resigned to the fact he was on his own.

Maybe this was one of the trials of a Jedi Master. Get your ass kicked by a rabid, burly Mandalorian then fend for yourself. She said she would hold him to the trials and the rest was negotiable. At the moment, though, Atton would be more than happy to be wearing a Jedi robe since his own clothes were scraping along his bruised and abraded skin restricting his pathetic movements.

"Help?" Atton's heart plummeted when he heard the heavy tromping of metal on metal.

"Unbridled Excitement: Oh goody! I'll inform the meatbag Mandalorian you are ready for round two." HK's tone was so cheerful it made Atton's teeth hurt.

"Ha-ha," Atton sneered then added under his breath, "Blood thirsty bag of bolts." HK was a droid, an unfeeling object but Atton would swear he could almost see his excitement - at Atton's pain - vibrating around him. "Go get Jaden."

"Statement: The master is busy elsewhere."

"Fine. Just help me up then."

"Reluctant:. . ."

"Do it or I'll cross your wires and turn you into a protocol droid." Atton didn't catch what the insane assassination droid muttered and didn't really care as he used HK's arm to stand. Once they reached the medical bay, he told HK to take a hike and began rifling through the supplies for the Kolto packs. This was one time he wouldn't mind if Mical showed up. Although, one look at his face probably would have sent the medically trained Jedi running. While the swelling around his eye wasn't too bad, the bruise on his left cheek was a picture of pretty yellows and greens highlighted with a smattering of black and purple.

Atton lifted his torn shirt to apply a healing pack and groaned. A bruise, the size of a Hutt's backside covered his right side, disappearing into the waistline of his pants. He didn't need to strip to know it covered his hip down to his knee. The faint memory of being body slammed into the hull plating drifted through his mind. And again, he thought; where had Jaden been?

When Atton stepped on the bridge an hour later, he felt almost human. He had tended to his knee and various bumps and cuts before showering off the blood and dirt of Yavin IV. "Where are we headed?" He asked. When Canderous stood, blood in his eye, Atton raised a hand to stop him. "You had your shot at me because I figured I owed you. You won't get another."

Canderous studied him a moment before giving him a brief nod. There was something different about Atton. He didn't need the mumbo-jumbo of the Force to see the man standing there was more powerful now than he had been yesterday.

When he first met Atton, he was unimpressed and saw him as a whiny, self-absorbed smart-ass coward despite Zared training him as a Jedi. Or was it retraining as a Sith? That was one thing Canderous was never able to figure out. He asked Zared about Atton and was told he had been a Jedi hunter under Revan. He never really got an explanation as to why he agreed to train the recalcitrant pilot other than to annoy Kreia. At the time, that was enough and when Atton refused to go with the Exile at Malachor V, Canderous put it down as Atton's innate cowardice.

After seeing him again – and what happened in the temple yesterday – he wasn't so sure. Canderous knew about struggles and overcoming them and yesterday the Jedi had stood up, faced the full might of the dark side and essentially kicked its ass. He not only faced that side of the Force, but also faced what he was and had been. That took raw courage; something Canderous respected. Atton would still spout off about the Jedi teachings in his own sarcastic way. And back them up as well.

"We're headed for Coruscant," he said backing down.

"Where's Jaden?"

"Sleeping."

When he nodded and began to leave the bridge, Canderous called his name. When he turned, he was told, "It's done. We'll leave it at that."

Yeah, Atton thought, it was done. He was done running from his past. Was done burying the memories and in some part of his brain, the faces of those he had ruthlessly murdered flashed like a slide show of a really bad vacation. Only now, he let it run and didn't get up to leave in the middle of the holovid.

"Jaden?" He tapped on the door and stiffened when he heard the faint "Dwoo" behind him. He knocked again. "Honey?"

"Dwoo."

Atton looked over his shoulder to find T3 mumbling in droid speak and acting nervously . . . for the little trash bin.

"T3?" He asked in a tome that clearly said he knew something wasn't right.

"Dwoo."

Atton turned, took one step forward before T3 yelped in his own unique way, and bolted toward the engine room. A sick feeling began crawling up his spine. This time, he pounded on the door.

"Jaden! Open up." There was no response. "Canderous!" He headed for the bridge.

"What?"

"How long has Jaden been asleep?"

"A few hours. Why?"

"She's not answering."

"What?" Canderous scowled. "So help me if you seriously hurt her when you were . . . possessed I'll wail on you again." He got up and headed for Jaden's quarters.

Atton's sick feeling began to turn into greasy unease. "When did you last see her?" He asked and frowned when he saw the blast door to the engine room slide shut.

"Jaden!" Canderous shouted as he pounded away. "Open the damn door."

"This isn't good," Atton said nervously.

"Hell. Stop wringing your hands like an old woman and use your saber to open the door."

Atton reached for his hip. "Crap!" He looked up chagrined. "I destroyed it when I turned from the dark side."

"Worthless Jedi," Canderous looked around. "Where's T3?"

"Hiding in the engine room." He shrugged at his cohort's furious look.

Canderous shook his head in disgust. "Never did much like this bucket of bolts," and he blasted the door lock.

It took both of them to pry the reinforced durasteel door open.

"Son of a bitch. Son of a bitch. Son of a bitch!" Atton fisted his hands in his dark hair and tugged. "She's not here."

Canderous put his hands on his hips and looked around. He'd only been in here once - after Jaden and the others busted him out of the prison in Iziz - but he saw that most of her clothes were gone along with several weapons.

"Damn it. We have to go back."

"What about the special room she spoke about." Canderous began searching but stopped when he saw the blackened databanks.

"She's not here, Mandalore." He turned on his heel and headed for the bridge to turn around.

"How?" Canderous demanded as he followed.

Atton turned and gave him a bland look. "Did you miss the part of the program where she admitted she was the embodiment of the Force?" He shook his head then went by the engine room, pounded on the door, and ordered T3 out or the droid would find itself floating in space. Continuing on, Canderous was already flipping switches and swearing in Mando'a when he sat in the copilot's chair. "Well?"

"We're locked out." The chair groaned when he sat back. "Best I can tell we're bound for Coruscant whether we want to go or not."

"Affirmation: That is correct. The master locked the Navicomputer."

Both men turned and scowled at HK as the droid stepped on the bridge.

"You knew about this?"

"Statement: Of course. I left her bags and weapons on the planet and destroyed the master's databanks while you retrieved the key."

"Why you . . ." Atton jumped at HK only to find the droids rifle pointed at his chest.

"Why?" Canderous demanded, his own blaster rifle pointed at HK.

"Simple answer: I was ordered to do so."

"By the Force," Atton swore. "She's alone you idiot! If Zared finds her . . ." He turned away in frustration. _That was the point after all, wasn't it?_

"Observation: The final key must be protected at all cost."

An uncomfortable silence hummed around them. "He's right." Canderous was forced to agree with HK but the admission held a great deal of reluctance.

"What?"

"I don't like this anymore than you do, Rand. She duped us. All of us and Onasi's going to go through the roof."

"No, he's going to kill us."

"Stop thinking with your heart," he snapped. "Jaden is buying us time to get the key to safety. If Zared caught us and Jaden was onboard, he'd have all the pieces he needed. He would kill her then unlock the Valley of the Jedi."

"So when he kills her because she doesn't have all her power from Onasi?" Atton glared at him. "He's going to turn Coruscant into another Telos, get the key, then unlock the Valley of the Jedi. Hell, he could be waiting for us when we drop out of hyperspace."

"I agree it might not have been the best tactically strategic move."

"Ya think?" He plowed his hands through his hair.

"Look, we'll get the key to the temple, grab Onasi and the Sojourn and go after her."

"Fine. Not that we have much of a choice, huh?" Atton pushed passed HK. "Damn stupid Force," he added in a mutter as he kicked at the Navicomputer childishly.

And that's what they did. It took three agonizing days, in Atton's opinion, to reach Coruscant. Not only had Jaden locked the Navicomputer she had also disabled the comm center so they couldn't contact anyone. When they arrived, they discovered Admiral Onasi and the Sojourn had a two-day head start on them.

* * *

As soon as the Ebon Hawk was out of sight, Jaden returned to the temple and the small room that had held the key and obelisk. For the first time in years, darkness didn't hurt as much or make her feel weak as a baby. As she stood in the chamber gathering the data pads, she could feel the power she took from Zared mingle and bond to her own. It still wasn't enough to put them on an even footing, but she was stronger and feeling more herself.

Taking advantage of that, she paused, closed her eyes, and felt the galaxy grow closer, quicker than it had in years. What had once taken greater concentration to bring forward came much easier. Voices were easier to hear, feelings easier to discern. Jaden didn't need to go into the Force for clarity. And clarity was what she sought.

They hadn't told him and it pissed her off. The dark masters had never told Zared what he'd _really_ done when he cut himself off from the Force at Malachor, essentially trapping a part of her within him.

She clearly remembered the look on his face when he realized he had been lied to, used, and that there was more to this situation than just control of the Valley of the Jedi; what she really was when she opened her big fat mouth and admitted she was the embodiment of the dark side, not him. _"My Empire"_ she recalled telling him when Zared asked what he had that belonged to her. Stupid, stupid, stupid, but it was to late now.

"I'm sorry, Aeden." She hitched the bag holding the data pads over her shoulder and headed out to the clearing where she would be picked up.

As she walked down the path, she let herself drift in the ebb and flow of the galaxy. She gave up minute pieces of herself to provide life to the newly born and welcomed those back to the Force with warmth and reassurance that death wasn't the final end. Providing comfort had always settled her and being able to do so again so easily gave her strength.

Through her connection, and a little effort, she found friends she had made during her travels when she was forced to leave the Valley of the Jedi. Jaden missed them and the ability to watch over what she had been born to defend. It saddened her to see the damage the dark side was causing. New wars and old feuds were being fueled to flash points and a general sense of despair was permeating all worlds.

She may have been stronger now and see more clearly the destruction Zared and the True Sith were causing, but she could do little to stop it at this point. The Republic would recover its losses provided she could stop him. Like him, Jaden realized, the dark masters had played her as well.

Her thoughts turned away from the problem when she felt a disturbance roll through her. Atton had figured out she'd pulled the mother of all mind tricks and sent them on without her. He was pissed; she could feel it and found herself grinning. She was so proud of him.

She could admit now that she had been terrified he wouldn't turn away the darkness. It had been his weakest point all his life, the easiest way to gain strength although he hadn't known that. Even with all the warnings about the dark side as he trained as a Jedi, hadn't gotten through. No, it took seeing it with his own eyes to fully recognize it's destructive ways. She grimaced at the thought she should probably thank the dark masters for showing him, even though it blew up in their face so to speak.

The anger Atton felt now was righteous in its concern for her and that was fine. It was pivotal to the future of the Jedi Order that he recognized the difference between the constructive and destructive side of anger.

_-- You did well. --_

Her back stiffened. -- _No. He did it on his own. --_

_-- Will he finished the task you have put in his path? --_

_-- I believe he will. He's going to flip out and probably pitch a Gizka fit though. --_

_-- And if you are defeated? --_

_-- Thanks for the vote of confidence, -- _she told them sarcastically. -- _But yes. The alternative will not sit well with him. He'll do it if for nothing more than to poke at the Sith. --_

-- _You took a great risk in revealing what you did. The Sith'ari's ignorance of your true nature was to your advantage._ --

_-- Was it? -- _She asked casually while keeping a tight rein on her anger. -- _For someone who has been taught both sides, who has used both sides to gain an advantage or effect defeat, I'm not sure I can agree with that. --_

_-- It served no purpose but to anger your dark masters. --_

_-- Like I give a Rancor's ass? They had no right to use Atton against me, saying I couldn't interfere because he is the son of D'Nara. And you backed them up. You pounded it into my head that every sentient being is allowed to choose so I didn't interfere and Atton made his choice.--_

_-- Child, the Agreement of the Six . . . --_

_-- I'm not finished, -- _she barked. -- _They used him and when it didn't go their way, they tried the 'We did it for you' defense on Zared. He's not a stupid man; he realized he's being used and now I'm the one who has to clean up their mess. --_

Jaden reached the clearing and dumped her bag with the others HK had hidden. -- _Does Zared know, if he manages to defeat me, that he too will cease to exist in his current state? --_

_-- We do not know, -- _they said tiredly.

_-- Of course, he doesn't, -- _she snapped. -- _He sees the Valley of the Jedi as a way to rule the galaxy, like a seat of power, not for what it is. --_

_-- The caretaker of balance and the Force. -- _

Jaden sat down and rested her brow on the heels of her hands. She was beginning to doubt the wisdom of all they had taught her.

_-- I will do what is needed to finish this, -- _she waved her hand, -- _debacle and when I get home I will end it once and for all. --_

_-- Child, what do you mean? --_

Jaden could hear the hesitancy and subtle anxiety in their voices. -- _I mean to write the third and final accord. --_

_-- You cannot! -- _The dark masters snapped.

_-- Ah, there you are you wily bastards! --_

_-- Child, you know the Agreement . . . --_

_-- There is no formal Agreement of the Six. I looked it up. But you know what I did find? My right as the embodiment of the Force, as your child, to finish the three accords as I see fit.--_

_-- You, silly girl, cannot interfere. --_

Jaden snorted. -- _As I didn't interfere by nudging the Mandalorians to attack the Republic? As I didn't interfere by leading Revan to the Trayus Academy on Malachor V in the first place? Or by directing her to the Star Maps? Or by giving Malak the balls to ambush his master? Or by guiding the Jedi Council to restore false memories to Revan knowing, she remembered who she was, so she could extract her revenge on Malak and the Jedi? --_

_-- That's enough! --_

_-- No, masters, it's not, -- _she said addressing both sides with a sigh. -- _I'm what, 45, 46 physically and from the time I was of age it seems I've spent more time causing death and destruction than anything else. I'm tired, and the galaxy is tired, of your constant bickering. --_

_-- And now you seek to destroy the Force? Your arrogance is astounding, silly girl. --_

_-- That was your goal with Kreia, wasn't it? --_ She shot back. -- _I seek to destroy nothing whereas you seek to destroy all that is decent and honest with your darkness and you used an innocent man to do it through deception and manipulation. You want to do battle, fine. Bring it on. He wins you get your way. I win, I write the final accord. --_

_-- What of the six? -- _The light masters asked wearily, hoping to shift the focus of the conversation. The competitiveness of Jaden and the dark masters wasn't anything new; it had just been years since they had to deal with this side of the relationship. Her dark masters would goad her and she would respond just as she had with arrogance and daring.

_-- Visas and Atton have decided their path and you will not interfere from this point forward. --_

_-- What of the youngest son? -- _They asked quietly knowing it was a touchy subject.

She reached out and found Dustil in the Room of a Thousand Fountains sitting with Kwyn. "He seeks the words," she whispered unable to hide her panic.

_-- Yes. At his father's insistence. --_

_-- Don't let him. I won't destroy the voice . . . --_

_-- Child . . . --_

_-- I won't! Nor will his son. --_

_-- Jaden, you sit here and speak of fairness yet you deny your right to it? -- _Their own frustration with her came through and she ignored it.

_-- Was it fair to Carth when Revan killed him? Are you being fair to me when you refuse to tell me if he will die if I take what he holds? What I gave him so he would live?--_

_-- Your feelings for the son of Isano cloud your judgment.-- _Their tone turned to one of teacher to student. Jaden's passionate nature was somewhat alarming at times. It gave her the compassion so many often needed to get through trials and tribulations, but it also made her exceedingly stubborn. Something else they had forgotten since she had been . . . divided.

_-- I won't change my mind. --_

They sighed. -- _And the Sith'ari. Why do you take what he has knowing he may die as well? --_

Jaden stiffened. -- _That's different. --_

_-- No. It's not. One holds your heart. The other holds your soul. You need to decide which you will sacrifice.--_

She heard the high-pitched whine of a shuttlecraft approaching.

_-- And decide quickly, child, for the time is at hand. --_

* * *

"We are the . . . brats," Dustil mumbled then squeezed his eyes shut and growled low in his throat. He'd been at this for days and he was beginning to think that was true.

He couldn't decide if the words on the stone tablets were shifting because the Midiclorians didn't want them translated or because his brain had turned to pudding and was leaking out his ears. He was tired, hungry, his head pounded and he was beginning to exhibit a single-minded intensity that reminded him of his father. Snorting, he scrubbed his hands over his face and went back to work.

"Hey. How's it going?"

Dustil turned his head as Kwyn sat beside him. "How'd you get in here?"

"Last I checked the temple was still open to the public. Any luck?" When Dustil continued to stare at him, he rolled his eyes. "Relax. I'm not here to steal the silver, kid."

Dustil smirked and let out a sigh. "The words keep changing."

"Huh?"

"This," he said pointing to the first line, "says 'We are the brats'. That one, about half way down, says 'We . . . the child . . . for breakfast.'"

Kwyn snorted and grinned.

"It's not funny," Dustil forced a pout as he tried desperately to hide is own smile.

"So you can't do it."

He wasn't sure why Kwyn's casual remark insulted him but it did and when he looked at him the affront was clear in his eyes.

Kwyn met his gaze with a serous one himself and repeated, slowly, carefully spacing the words. "So you can't do it."

Yes he was tired but Dustil wasn't stupid tired and knew the man he considered both best friend and surrogate father just dumped an out to this situation in his lap. The question was would he take it.

Kwyn may have been his partner in crime when he was young, distracting his mom while Dustil lifted a couple of fresh baked cookies for them, but he was also the man that marched him to Mrs. Pentel's front door to apologize for breaking her window with a wild pitch. Dustil shook his head and silently sighed. Unfortunately, this wasn't a cookie caper. This was a matter of owning up to the truth. Looking at the tablet, the words shifted once more.

_Parvulus est Vis. Simul contactus totus quod nullus. Lux lucis quod atrum in pectus pectoris of totus sententia res. Parvulus mos thrive in deceptio quod verum. Nos docui parvulus ut unus ut servo pondera in nostrum partum quoniam nostrum parvulus est vita, victus Vis._

"The child is the Force. At once touching all and none. Light and dark in the heart of all sentient beings. The child will thrive in deception and truth. We teach the child as one to keep balance in our creation because our child is life, the living Force."

Kwyn was silent for a few moments before muttering, "Well, shit, damn, frack."

Dustil barely heard him, still stunned that he just read, spoke, and understood a language he hadn't known existed until a few weeks ago. While he looked at the tablet, the words once again shifted into gibberish. "Why?"

"How the hell do I know," Kwyn snapped as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"No," he said patiently. "Why just that passage? Why now when I've sat here for days and watched this fracking language shift and change." He abruptly stood and began pacing, anger rolling off him in waves as a tendril of ice skittered down his spine. Dustil was so thrown off balance he didn't hear the horrible snicker of amusement echo around him.

"You're the Jedi."

Dustil glared at him. "Vandar was here earlier and told me no one had ever been able to interpret the stones, so why now? Why me?"

Kwyn raised his hands in a helpless gesture. "You _are_ connected to all . . . this."

"So are Visas and Atton," he snapped.

He saw the young mans distress so clearly it broke his heart. Once again, he thought about kicking Carth's ass for putting his son in this position. "I don't know, Dustil," Kwyn said quietly.

"Damn it!" He kicked at the leg of the stone bench. "When I was a Sith, Master Uthar Wynn, the head of the academy on Korriban, always told us to horde information that might be the key to victory. Use it to gain prestige or eliminate those that stand in our way."

"Knowledge as power."

"Then why do I feel helpless? Kwyn, if I tell my dad this he'll use it and more than likely die. If I don't there's a chance he'll die anyway because he'll feel honor bound to go after Zared." Dustil held up his finger when Kwyn opened his mouth to speak. "Yes, the Jedi would share the information, thinking of the greater good for all. But it's not their father they would be sending to his death." He sat down heavily. "Fracking do-gooder."

Kwyn's lips twitched. _Like father like son,_ he thought. Only Dustil was more vocal about the consequences than his father ever was even though he knew what had to be done. "It was one passage out of hundreds. We don't know what part of that is the key."

But Dustil knew. _Vita Vis Vitae_. The air shimmered around him, flashing back to the Sojourn when Jaden had taken him on a whirlwind trip around the Force. Yeah, he knew.

"Look, I came to tell you your dad activated your commission. The Sojourn heads out in two hours."

Dustil turned to him. "What?"

"Zared's fleet is headed to Telos." Kwyn raised his hand to stop the next question. "Don't know, but Carth thinks there's time enough to swing by Yavin and get the others." He studied the young man seated beside him, saw the realization cruise into his eyes. "It's time, Dustil." The three words, quietly spoken, brought a hard knot of panicked truth.

There was no sign of the Ebon Hawk when the Sojourn arrived at Yavin IV a day and half later.


	47. Chapter 46

Carth paced the length of his office just off the bridge of the Sojourn. Something he'd done a lot since coming awake, violently, screaming Jaden's name four nights ago. He told himself it was a bad dream, just a horrid nightmare. That is until he felt the wave of Force energy wash over him. He hadn't joined with her since she left, so that meant only one thing to his mind and the icy chilled sweat he'd felt dribble down his spine nearly paralyzed him with dread. Despite appearances, he knew Atton wouldn't hurt Jaden, but the darkness was so strong he could feel her slipping away.

If he reached into himself, he could find her tucked-up safe in a corner of his heart, but the connection was fading, becoming weaker as the darkness around him expanded.

When they arrived at Yavin IV, there was no sign of the Ebon Hawk and they were unable to find the ship on the long-range sensors or raise them on the comm. That's when Carth began to accept that, once again, he was to late and would fail to protect what was his.

He continued to pace when the door to his office opened and Visas stepped in. She too had felt the disturbance in the Force and since then she'd been staying close to him, whether he liked it or not.

"Do you know what my biggest mistake was?"

"Admiral?" She asked in the quiet steady manner he had come to rely on.

"I let her out of my sight."

"We'll find Jaden and the Ebon Hawk, Carth."

* * *

Jaden buried her surprise when she saw Zared; flanked by a squad of soldiers, step from the trees to cross the clearing where she sat.

She didn't expect him to come personally, but after what happened . . . well it didn't matter. The hard brilliant blue eyes and set jaw was enough to tell her he remembered what happened when they were together after Atton tripped her and she fell, hitting her head on the obelisk that represented the dark side.

His strides were long and purposeful as he crossed to her. Dressed in black from his boots to the long coat that flowed like water and snapped like a whip around his ankles, every movement radiated his anger and punched at her. The breeze teased at his black hair adding to the mussed look of repeated finger combings. When he stopped, he planted his feet apart, his arms akimbo, moving the black leather coat aside showing he was armed and dangerous. Despite the situation and what he possessed that was hers, there was a part of the woman she was that appreciated his undeniable male beauty.

"You look like a warrior god," she told him tipping her head to the side. Jaden thought she saw his lips twitch but she wasn't ready to stake her life on that.

"Tell me why I shouldn't destroy you now," he rumbled with a menacing look.

"Um, you like me?"

"Not so much. Try again."

Jaden shrugged as she watched him closely. She could see his fingers tremble as if he was fighting the urge to grab the saber that hung from his belt just below his hand. She still didn't answer, and watched as he turned and began to walk away. As his men moved forward, she raised her hand. They fell where they stood, like rag dolls suddenly without a support stand.

"I have the answers you seek." He stopped but didn't turn. "You're entitled to your anger, Aeden," she spoke as she moved in front of him. "I'm pissed off about this as well so don't screw with me." Jaden went back, hefted her bag over her shoulder, and picked up the other two. When she went back to him, she slung one bag over his shoulder.

"I hope you know how to fly that shuttle because you're suddenly without a crew." She turned and headed for the ship.

This time his lips did twitch and his left brow winged up at her audacity as he watched her walk away. He was still angry, but he had to work at keeping his mad on and that angered him even more.

Zared had done nothing but stew in his own anger for the last several hours. He knew he would have to defeat Jaden to gain access to the Valley of the Jedi; that was a given, and a simple truth he could accept. What he couldn't abide were her lies or how she pulled at him. Made him want to . . . give her some _thing_. He glanced at the six dead bodies around him, firmed his resolve to get answers, and followed her.

_-- She plays you; you fool! --_

_-- Shut up. --_

* * *

Carth, sitting in the command chair, studied the datapad. "Are you certain of this?"

"Yes, Sir. They've stopped," the painfully young ensign said as studied a spot just beyond his shoulder. "I don't understand, Admiral. The Gehenna seemed hell bent on reaching Telos then several hours ago they just stopped while the rest of the fleet went on."

Carth closed his eyes and pressed on the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

"What are you thinking?" Kwyn asked beside him.

"I'm trying not to," he answered as the unease he had been feeling slipped toward alarmed panic. "The Gehenna stops. The Ebon Hawk has disappeared."

Kwyn shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "It doesn't mean he has them," he said quietly.

"Then where the hell are they," Carth snapped as he stood, his anger all but knocking Kwyn over. He took a short breath and walked to his office. Kwyn sighed and followed.

"Carth, alone they are each capable of handling themselves. Together, with Jaden being even stronger, I just don't see it happening."

"She's blocked me," he said as he went to the window and scrubbed his hands down his face. Pushing his stubborn bangs aside he went on. "Once I learned about our . . . connection, I could recognize her through the Force."

Kwyn frowned. "And now you can't?"

"No, she's still there but now there's a curtain of darkness around her. It's like she's drowning in it, Kwyn." Carth went behind his desk and sat down. "She doesn't answer the comm I gave her and I'm worried she did something stupid."

"Like?" Kwyn asked but he knew the answer; Carth was afraid Jaden went to meet Zared on her own.

"And you call yourself a general," Carth smirked. "Damnit! I don't like taking the fleet into battle blind."

"Or the idea of Jaden being weaker because of you," Kwyn mumbled softly.

"What?"

Chagrined he said that aloud, Kwyn waved the question away. "We're not totally blind. Didn't you tell me she had T3 upload some fancy software to upgrade the shields?"

"Yeah, and let's hope Jaden ignored my order to remove it."

"Zared did promise to leave the Sojourn alone," Kwyn reminded him.

"So he wipes out the rest of the fleet? Is that supposed to make me feel better? If he destroys Jaden, the reason for the promise will be gone. There's nothing stopping him then from blasting this ship to galactic dust."

_Aren't you mister positive? _Kwyn thought, but knew his friend wouldn't appreciate the snarky comment.

"Dying in battle isn't something I haven't faced before," Carth added. No, he thought, that's how he imagined his life would end at some point in the future, but he had died almost two years ago and Jaden restored his life. Now, he was afraid, she was going to face Zared without all her power so he wouldn't die again.

"Dustil needs to translate . . ."

Kwyn's spine snapped straight then relaxed marginally when the comm beeped. Dustil had translated the ancient language and based on the kid's reaction, suspected he knew the words Carth was after.

"Admiral, we found the Ebon Hawk."

Kwyn's relief was short lived though when Carth bolted from his chair and rushed out.

The next thirty minutes were agony as he waited with cautious optimism while the Ebon Hawk landed in the hanger bay. _Be here; be here, be here,_ Carth chanted silently as he, Kwyn and Visas waited for the ramp to open. When it began its agonizingly slow decent, the air backed up in his lungs nearly choking him. All hope died when Atton paused mid-way down and their eyes locked. Jaden wasn't with them.

* * *

"Explain."

Jaden continued with the pre-flight check as she said, "I thought it was self explanatory but if you need to be told . . ." she shrugged. "You're gorgeous. Tall, dark, handsome, and when you're angry you take on a kind of brooding, tortured, fallen angel persona. As I said; a warrior god." She felt, rather than saw, his eyes narrow as he turned his attention to the controls and took off.

There were several tense moments of silence before Zared spoke. "You're as cryptic as those rat bastards." Since they met, they had always been honest and upfront with each other. Well, at least when it served their purpose, but now she was being deliberately elusive.

"When one is taught well, they will often echo their teachers."

"Bloody hell," he growled, "Now you sound like some Jedi master."

She fired back, "Well I should!"

"Damn it, Jaden!"

She reached up and rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands. Why hadn't he chosen to take away her light side; told Kreia to stuff her teachings? If she were still the Sith'ari, this wouldn't be so hard. As she told the others before, if she was the dark side point in the Force she would have destroyed Zared without a second thought, gathered the keys and gone home with no one the wiser.

Not very evil dark lord-ish but then that wasn't her purpose as the embodier. She was the caretaker of the Force, helping both sides stay within some margin of balance. Even though she was a master of causing strife, she was also a master of healing the destruction she wrought.

"I heard you say, clearly, 'I am your embodiment and therefore you'. Then when I ask you about it you crack off about me having your empire."

Jaden looked out the window and began worrying her thumbnail with the teeth. She could feel his anger deepen as it buffeted against her. She shifted in her seat, casually laying her hand over the amulet in her pocket. She had taken it from the tomb of Exar Kun. The darkness it possessed wasn't enough to give her an edge against Zared's power, but it did act as a shield and absorbed some of his dark energy allowing her to be close to him without too much discomfort.

When she didn't answer, he released his restraints and stood to leave, but not before he leaned over and whispered in her ear as he traced a finger down her jaw before grabbing her throat and squeezing. "You will tell me, darling, one way or another."

* * *

Bastila skittered along the corridors of the Sojourn like a furtive thief hoping to avoid detection. She knew in her heart this was a bad idea and told Master Lyret that, several times. He hadn't listened. Now, she was forced to sneak around the ship so Dustil or the others wouldn't see her and if Carth caught her? A chilled shiver ran down her spine. They hadn't spoken since Carth stormed from the hanger bay after rescuing Dustil from the clutches of Master Tulak who had turned to the dark side and held the boy captive on Korriban.

Even after hours of meditation, she didn't know what was worse, seeing the look of disgust and loathing in Carth's eyes or having Jaden strip her of most of her power but her Battle Meditation. Bastila hadn't believed who Jaden claimed she was, still didn't on the long trip back to Coruscant. It wasn't until Bastila approached the Jedi Temple that her disbelief became a hard honest truth. Jaden really had banned her from the temple.

Not just the temple itself, but also the grounds surrounding it. After they landed on Coruscant, she was walking with Master Vandar. When they reached the main plaza in front of the imposing structure, Bastila found her way barred in all directions, as if a wall had been constructed she couldn't breach.

Shortly after the shock of that revelation wore off she discovered that her other abilities had been weakened, almost to the point of that of a youngling first discovering their power. Anger and outrage had been her first reaction. Master Vandar had simply studied her then soberly shook his head. "This is the lack of control of your emotions Jaden spoke of Bastila, yet you still do not understand."

It hadn't been painless to be brought so low, but she accepted, with newfound humility, that Jaden really was the One True Jedi Vandar spoke of. Master Lyret had been assigned as her teacher, taking her to Dantooine to start the long process back to regaining her Jedi Knight status.

Reaching her master's door, she knocked quickly as she scanned up and down the corridor.

"Just in time," Lyret said when the door opened. "Admiral Onasi has called a meeting in the main conference room."

"Master Lyret, please do not make me accompany you." She hated the pleading tone of voice, but she had to try and make him understand one more time. "It will only lead to disaster if Carth learns that I am onboard. You cannot spring my presence on him in this fashion."

"What are you saying?"

"It's only been a few weeks since Dustil was rescued from Master Tulak. The Exile and the Sith are attacking the Republic in force and headed toward Telos. Throwing my presence here in his face will only ignite further resentment of the Jedi."

"Are you saying Admiral Onasi would toss aside your Battle Meditation abilities simply because he's angry with you?" Lyret asked.

Bastila bit her lower lip.

"Because if you are, then perhaps Admiral Onasi shouldn't be leading the Republic fleet into the biggest battle in its history."

"No," she said quickly.

"No?"

Bastila gave up. She knew it was a futile stab at staying under Carth's radar but she had to try.

"I see no reason to add personal pain to an already difficult situation. That's all. Admiral Onasi is the only commander that could lead the Republic fleet against Zared and the True Sith," she said with resignation.

* * *

Jaden sat in the cockpit and cycled through the multitude of messages Carth left on her personal communicator. Each one took on a more fervid tone as they played, until the last one.

She closed her eyes and took a shallow breath against the constriction of her heart. She knew that tone, had lived with it for years until recently. The voice, once again sounding hardened and betrayed, echoed around her.

_One holds your heart._

Jaden continued to play the last message over and over till it became a mantra in her soul.

_The other holds your soul._

"Why," she whispered in unison to Carth's question that asked so much in such a simple manner. "Because you are my heart," she answered as she tucked the small device back into the inside pocket of her jacket. "I know I've failed you and the voice but, I won't destroy that."

When she entered the main hold of the shuttle, she found Zared sitting at the comm terminal studying reports from his commanders. His fleet was closing in on the Republic ships sent to defend Telos.

Her head was already pounding and she saw no reason to spike it into throbbing by asking why he was attacking Telos instead of Coruscant where she sent the key. Jaden had a fair idea why. This was his way of striking at Carth since he promised not to harm him.

Well that, and she supposed it was his way of punishing her. More likely, it was a ploy to weaken her. If Zared thought she would feel honor bound to defend Telos, a lot of innocent people were going to die; just as they had when Saul Karath bombed the planet.

_The needs of the many,_ she thought with a mental shake of her head. _Just don't lose,_ she told herself, _you do, and all bets are off._

The true reason for his attack on Telos, however, would have shocked her. He wasn't doing this as a way to get around a promise or forcing her to act; Zared was attacking the planet because Carth had broken Jaden's heart.

Stopping beside him, she ran her fingers through the silken black hair at his neck. "You need a haircut."

Zared stiffened at her touch. Sniffing twice he told her, "You need a shower."

Jaden rolled her eyes. "And food. I'm assuming you're still stocking the shuttles with rations."

He turned his head and gave her a questioning look, laced with narrowed-eyed suspicion.

"You can fix something while I clean up, then we'll talk."

* * *

When Dustil entered the conference room, he found his father pacing in front of the wide bank of windows oblivious to his son's arrival. He looked miserable to Dustil's eyes and he had withdrawn into himself after Carth discovered Jaden wasn't with Atton and Canderous when the Ebon Hawk landed on the Sojourn.

He could only wonder if this was how his dad looked as the fleet rushed to Telos when Saul attacked and killed his mother, only to discover they were to late. The realization had Dustil taking an involuntary step back. It wasn't just misery he saw weighing down his father's shoulders, it was also stark defeat. Only this time, the battle had yet to be waged.

He was about to make his presence known when Carth abruptly reached in his pocket and yanked out a comm-unit.

_"It's me._"

Dustil heard Jaden's voice and wanted to be anywhere else in the galaxy but here at this moment.

_"Where are you?"_

Crap, he didn't want to intrude. Feeling uncomfortably stuck he ducked into one of the small alcoves when Carth turned his back.

_"I'm fine."_

_"You're with Zared, aren't you,"_ his father accused. _"Are you on the Gehenna?"_

_"He's here and no, we're not on the Gehenna."_

_"Damn it, Jaden."_

_"Carth, it's time. If I don't act now, Zared and the dark masters will gain more of a foothold then they all ready have." _

Her voice was carefully modulated, almost reasonable, but Dustil heard the subtle desperation for understanding.

_"Jaden . . ."_

_"You know this must be done."_ Her voice went from reasonable to sounding tired and strained. "_There was never any other outcome."_

_"But you're not strong enough! I can feel the darkness enveloping you, drowning you."_

In the small alcove, Dustil hung his head and tried covering his ears. The panic and desperate sense of loss he heard in his fathers voice made him flinch.

_"I need you to trust me,"_ she whispered.

_"I do, Jaden. But without your power . . ."_

_"No!"_

The silence crackled around the room.

_"I don't want to argue with you, Carth."_

There was more energized silence.

_"You don't need to do this alone, sweetheart."_

It sounded like the last desperate words of a man who had struggled against the truth but in reality could only accept his fate and despise its cost.

_"I want you to come home safe and whole."_

Dustil jerked his head as he was thrown back into his memory.

_"Come home to us," his mother said as his dad prepared to leave for the last time before their lives had been shattered._

_"Always," he said kissing Morgana before he crouched down and gathered a young Dustil in a hug. "Safe and whole. I promise."_

_"Mom?" Dustil asked as he watched his father get into the speeder with Kwyn. "Dad's one of the good guys, right?"_

_"Of course he is," she said brightly as she ruffled his hair. It was hard on him, seeing his father leave after he promised to stay. "Why are you asking, kiddo?"_

_Dustil shrugged his small, thin shoulders. "Grandpa told me once that the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."_

* * *

_-- You're cheating! --_

_-- No, you're the ones who agreed to her bargain, not us. Besides, we know you showed the youngest son of Isano the passage on the tablets in the Room of a Thousand Fountains. --_

The dark masters snorted. -- _We only nudged him to remember what he'd once heard. Not plant a false memory full of light side gibberish. --_

_-- Simply a tool. --_

_-- A weapon to use against us. --_

_-- Tool, weapon. Are they really so very different? --_

* * *

"What is this?" Jaden asked when she sat down. Her hair was still damp from her shower, but she only felt marginally better. Her conversation with Carth had been a mistake. She knew he wouldn't understand but she had been desperate to hear his voice, to let him know she was okay. No, he understood, he just didn't grasp why she had to do this alone.

"It's cereal."

"Cereal," she muttered lifting a soggy spoonful and watching it plop noisily back into the dish.

"Sorry Darling, the last batch of prisoners ate all the gruel."

Jaden rolled her eyes as she picked up her dish then his. "Ass," she muttered and headed toward the small galley recycler.

"Bitch." Jaden's pause was infinitesimal but Zared saw it and smirked at her back.

"What have they told you?" She asked as she began rifling through the cabinets.

"Who?"

"The dark masters." When he didn't answer, she turned to find him frowning at her. "What about Radha?"

"You mean once he found out we had matching birthmarks?"

"They're actually opposites."

"Whatever," he said with a childish sigh. "He told me I bore the mark of the Sith'ari, that I was the dark side point in the Force and if I could gain control of the Valley of the Jedi I would rule the galaxy."

That she already knew. "Anything lately?"

"No. He's had his nose buried in the data pads we found with the keys."

"Then it's a good thing I brought the data pads with me."

"And I should destroy you for that alone," he told her with sinister derision.

She slammed down the plate she held before saying, "Did you honestly think I would have contacted you if I planned on having the final key with me?"

"Then why did you?" He snapped slamming his fist on the table.

Jaden felt the ripple of his anger push against her. "Well it certainly wasn't for your culinary skills."

"Darling," he warned with a growl low in his throat, "my patience with you is nearly at its end."

She set a bowl of soup and a nerf steak sandwich in front of him. "Then I suggest you find some. This could take awhile."

* * *

Authors Note: The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. – Edmund Burke (1729-1797)


	48. Chapter 47

"Dad?"

"Hey," Carth said with a small strained smile as he turned toward Dustil. "I didn't hear you come in."

"I, ah . . ." He stumbled over his words, unsure if he should admit that he had been here and overheard his dad's conversation with Jaden. Dustil could still sense his father's panic and frustration from the short, intense exchange. While he was still struggling over the choice, the door opened and Kwyn, Visas and Canderous entered looking worried and furious.

"What's wrong? What the hell's happened?" Carth demanded missing his son's quick sigh of relief.

"Nothing," Master Lyret said striding in behind them, his robe flowing around his booted feet. "I assured them there would be no issue but your friends obviously don't agree."

If he thought Visas and Atton would have been enough Carth never would have allowed the Jedi aboard the Sojourn, but Dodonna had ordered him to take Master Lyret and a strike team on the ship.

"Did you know about this?" Atton demanded as he yanked on Bastila's arm to bring her into the room.

She stumbled in, her eyes downcast and nerves pumping off her. She gave a quick look at Carth through her lashes and winced at the flare of anger and disgust. Bastila had been prepared to make one more plea with Master Lyret to skip this meeting, but she hadn't had the chance to speak with him as they approached the conference room. As soon as they had turned the corner in the corridor, she heard Atton's angry voice demanding to know what was going on. As he argued with Master Lyret - as if she wasn't even there - she had a brief feeling of envy for the tolerated Jedi.

It was no secret that Atton's training had happened with reluctance on both sides of the council table. He represented most everything the Jedi order taught against, but he was to powerful to leave to his own devices and with the recent loss of so many in the order, could they really afford not to train him.

Atton went his own way, showed up when summoned in his own good time, and handled the darker sides of the Republic's citizenry for the order. It was a tacit agreement that worked for both the man and the council, and that's what she envied as she watched Atton take on Lyret with no fear of repercussions. Bastila fervently wished she had the same reckless gutsiness.

One thing she had learned since Jaden . . . diminished her power for involving Dustil in her quest to protect Carth was that it was possible to become too rigid in her belief in the Jedi. Strict adherence to the rules could limit the ability of a Jedi to fulfill their purpose. _Some_ rules were made to be broken. That's what Atton represented.

"Let her go!" Lyret demanded. When he stepped toward the obviously frightened and uncomfortable Bastila, Canderous stepped in his way.

_I should have known_, Carth thought. Once again, the Jedi Council had betrayed him by withholding their intentions.

"Admiral Onasi, this is intolerable."

"She's not welcome here," Canderous said fiercely.

Lyret looked at Carth. "I didn't believe you'd be stupid enough to let your personal feelings get in the way of your duty, Admiral, but I see that I may have misjudged you."

"You and the Council ambushed him knowing if he turned down Bastila's Battle Meditation he would look like a fool," Atton snapped.

Carth didn't need this right now, but Atton was right. They did ambush him. He would have to deal with it later. "Let her go, Atton."

"Carth?"

"You heard me." Weariness was clear in his tired voice. "Take your seats. Kwyn contact the other commanders. We only have about forty-eight, seventy-two hours, tops, before we know if we won or lost."

*************************

"So, hypothetically speaking of course . . ." Zared began.

"You know, I never learned to speak hypothetical."

"Ha-ha. Aren't you the clever wit this evening," he said in a voice dripping in sarcasm.

Jaden gave him a cheeky grin as she rose to clear the table. She'd given him a basic run down on the history of the True Sith and True Jedi and their agreement to have three accords. The first agreement to divide the universe in order to co-exist and the second to have an embodier for each generation that would step in if either side became more powerful in the galaxy than the other.

Zared picked up the brandy she had unearthed from somewhere and swirled the amber liquid in his glass. "What does the third accord say?"

"It's the ending; the third and final act."

"The end of the Force," he snorted. "Now you sound like that witch Kreia.

"Not all her ideas were bad," she told him as she sat back down.

"Such as?"

"When you were on Nar Shaddaa, you gave a refugee a few credits, and she reamed you out for it. She showed you how kindness toward one could anger another and it cost that man his life. He was enriched for only moments before he lost it all."

His eyes narrowed as he asked, "How did you know that?"

Jaden's chuckle was silent as she thought; _you'd be amazed at what I know about you Aeden. _"The point is the man you gave the credits was a beggar by trade. He hadn't done an honest day's work in his life, and he flaunted it. The man who robbed him had lost his job and was struggling to feed his family.

"Does that mean we shouldn't help anyone? Of course not; we all need help at one point or another, but throwing money, blindly, at a problem often causes more trouble than the amount the credits were worth."

Zared barely contained the urge to roll his eyes.

"Okay, maybe not the best example, but even you would agree that the good vs. evil, the Jedi vs. Sith, the line that delineates the two ideals can be rigid, too rigid at times." When he didn't say anything, she went on.

"Isn't that why you followed Revan to war? You were tired of staying on the Jedi side of the line, so you stormed the fortress so to speak and broke down that wall."

"I left because I could no longer stand by and watch as the council allowed the slaughter of millions," he leaned forward, eyes blazing as he stabbed the table with his finger, "and I was left with my ass swinging in the breeze for my trouble, because those pansy-assed, robe wearing, pacifists didn't have the courage to face the fight."

"Just as the pansy-assed, robe wearing warmongers don't have the courage to look for alternatives to total domination," she snapped back. This was an old argument, age old and she was just tired enough to take issue with it.

Each side accused the other of weakness and it was one of the first things she learned when she arrived at the Valley of the Jedi, that despite the . . . unity of the Force, the light saw the dark as sadistic, using their power to bully and intimidate to get their way. The dark saw the light as enfeebled fools, unable to stand in the face of adversity. It was a difficult lesson to learn when she was so young and she struggled against it, still did at times. She had been both and used violence to get her way as she counted on the peaceful light to stay in the shadows until she couldn't stand her dark self any longer and switched sides to save those in the middle.

"Neither side wants to face the fact that their citizens just may be smart enough to handle their lives on their own," she said with a quiet sigh. "That's what Kreia was trying to tell you, what she tried to teach Revan."

Zared looked at her thoughtfully. It made sense from a certain point of view and he supposed that that was Kreia's point. "Then in the oh so magnanimous wisdom of the Force, why all the spectacle? Why go through the trouble of making accords and having this embodier? Why not let the citizens of the galaxy screw up their lives on their own?"

_Because we're petty and self-serving? Because when all this started, humanity was still playing with rocks and sticks? Because we know nothing different? Because we're bored, and playing with others is what we do best?_

"Because if they did that," she whispered as the truth wove its way through her mind. "It would bring about the one thing the masters' fear the most . . . obsolescence." Jaden rose and went to the viewport to stare at the blue weave of hyperspace.

All those years of training, she endured; all those years of watching over the Republic and Empire, the wars she started and ended. It all came down to one word.

"Darling?" Once again he had the feeling she revealed more than what she intended.

"We'll talk later. I need some sleep."

Zared watched as she went down the short hallway and literally crawled onto the thin mattress. He wanted answers and thought about rousing her, but he sensed the exhaustion radiating from her.

_~~ Why do you hesitate? She is here, within your grasp, yet you sit there, drinking brandy feeling sorry for her! ~~_

He ignored the dark master's snide and impatient tone. _~~ What do you want? ~~_

_~~ An answer! ~~_

_~~ Well so do I, ~~_ he snapped. _~~ You tell me nothing, she spouts history. If I didn't know better, I would say she learned to be vague from you! ~~_

_~~ A lesson she learned well. Why do you think she was so effective in causing mistrust among the Kath Sith as you call them. Surely, you don't believe Malak had the balls to take down Revan, do you? Do you believe your former lover was capable, on her own, to lead the Republic against the Mandalorians? Revan was smart and a strategist, but she wasn't the brilliant strategist everyone believed; she had help. ~~_

Zared sat up straighter in the chair and narrowed his eyes at the sleeping form. _~~ What are you saying? ~~_

_~~ You seek answers and she has provided them. She tells you the history so you will understand. She is our embodiment. She is the light and the dark. The silly girl watches over the Republic and the Jedi as she does the True Sith Empire. She starts and ends wars; she creates peace and causes upheaval. If she is allowed to defeat you, she has already told us she intends to write the third and final accord. ~~_

*************************

The meeting consisted of reviewing assignments and battle strategies. Carth tried to stress that these Sith made Malak and his fleet look like amateurs, but he wasn't sure the message was getting across. Citadel Station had to be protected at all costs and not just because it orbited above Carth's home world but because it stood as a symbol of rebirth for the tired and dispirited Republic.

When it was over and the other captains and commanders ended the holographic transmissions, he looked at Lyret. "Get out."

"Admiral . . ."

"I said, get out. I'll give you your orders when I have them, if I ever have them."

"The council will hear about this, Admiral."

"Yes, yes, run to mommy and tattle on the Admiral that won't fall in line. At this point you're here because I have more important things to worry about than whether I'm playing nice with the lying, manipulative Jedi Council!" He snapped as he stood and went to the window. He heard the door swish open and close a few times before he turned back to find Atton, Canderous, Visas and Dustil still sitting at the table.

"You will have to face her soon, Admiral." Visas told him quietly.

"Yeah," Atton snorted. "Face her long enough to shove her out an airlock."

"None of us can afford to be distracted," she added.

He looked at the small group that stood so solidly behind him when he had done nothing to deserve it in his eyes. Were they blindly looking to him for leadership because he held a part of Jaden's power within him? On the other hand, was it simply because they had been through so much together in their quest to find the keys?

"Both T3 and HK-47 were with Jaden when she was on the Sith home world. I want you," he pointed to Canderous and Visas, "to tear them apart byte by byte and find any information they may have on the Gehenna."

"Done," Canderous, said nodding. It wasn't something Carth expected; quick acquiescence from the leader of the Madalorian clans so he wasn't going question it and watched as they rose to leave.

"Atton, I need you to find out what you can from the Jedi on board. I want to know what orders they had. Avoid Lyret. I have a feeling he wouldn't tell you the correct time of day at this point."

"With pleasure."

"And me?" Dustil asked when they were alone. It was a stupid question but he asked anyway.

"You know what I need from you."

"Yeah," he said after a few moments. He pulled the data pad from his jacket pocket, set it on the table, and pushed it forward. "I do."

Carth took the pad and watched as his son turned to leave. Right before Dustil reached the door he said quietly, "Do you think this is easy for me? Asking my son to look for something that could kill me?"

"No. I know it isn't," he answered quietly.

"I have no right to ask you to understand why I have to do this." Carth looked at the darkened screen. "Again," he added softly. The memory of his promise to a young Dustil that he was home to stay swam in his mind. It was quickly replaced by the image of Dustil, looking sad and holding his mother's hand, standing on the front porch as he left with Kwyn that last time. Dustil had waggled his little fingers before stepping closer to Morgana, seeking comfort.

"I don't have to like it, in fact I hate it. I hate knowing this might be the last time I ever see you. But, I do understand Father. Why now," Dustil looked into Carth's eyes, "and why you left all those years ago."

Carth saw, perhaps for the first time, that his son really did understand. He walked to him and pulled him into his arms. "She needs me, Dustil; she needs the power that I hold for her. If I don't do this . . ."

"She also needs you to trust her," Dustil whispered battling back the tears that threatened.

*************************

Zared went to the small bridge and sat heavily in the command chair. Checking on their progress, he saw they would rendezvous with the Gehenna in a few hours.

He was no closer to having answers and he would swear on his life that Jaden was keeping something him. The history lesson she told him had only brought on more questions many of them about what the Jedi Masters had rammed down his throat for years.

What Jaden related in her telling made the Force seem more . . . human and less mystical. Maybe that was the point. The Midiclorians, like other sentient beings, according to Jaden, had their own struggles within the scope of light and dark but instead of just walking away or ending the conflict, the Masters, as she called them, accepted the difference and in fact . . . legislated through these accords she spoke of. Awfully arrogant to divide the galaxy in half so you could keep your own beliefs, but in essence, that's what happened.

Two were written and one left to be. But why tell him? Jaden represented the light side and him the dark. So why did the dark masters say she was _their_ embodiment. Zared could see as well as feel her weakness, which proved what he knew all along. The dark side was stronger. He shook his head, they were lying to him, as they usually did. Jaden was not their embodiment.

_~~ You have questioned your beliefs for years. ~~_

Zared sat up straighter at the new voices suddenly in his life.

_~~ And you would be? ~~_

_~~ We are her masters. ~~_

_~~ And this trick would be? ~~_

_~~ No trick. Do you deny it? Do you deny that you often questioned what the Jedi taught you? ~~_

He frowned, not appreciating having his thoughts eavesdropped on and certainly not by the other side. It didn't matter if they were right, he didn't like it.

_~~ For years, you questioned the teachings of the Jedi; perhaps not openly and certainly you were unaware of doing it at times. Master Kavar recognized it when you faced the council as a young man about an essay you wrote on the difference between the Jedi and Sith. It was then he sensed your destiny. ~~_

_~~ Is that why they abandoned me? They recognized I was the dark side point in the Force and instead of killing me, they exiled me. ~~_

_~~ You know the Jedi do not kill their prisoners, yet that angers you. You would have preferred to die. ~~_ The question was reasonable; it was their surprise behind the words that had his frown deepening.

_~~ You destroyed them. Killed them in cold blood because you believed they had cut you off from us. Severed your tie as punishment for following Revan to war._

_Even after you have been told differently you still cling to a wrong assumption, hold that misbelief as a child cuddles a blanket in fear on a dark stormy night._

_You did that to yourself because you were too weak to handle the consequences of your actions! ~~_

Zared sneered into the dim light from the control panels, anger at being called a spoiled child, a coward feeding the darkness around him.

_~~ They couldn't help you anymore than the child can stop what is to come. ~~_

_~~ And what is that? ~~_

_~~ Despite what she believes, what she wants, she will choose to end this division just as she was chosen those many years ago. ~~_

_~~ What the frack are you talking about? ~~_ He demanded, his frustration level spiking into dangerous territory. He didn't get an answer and knew he was alone.

*************************

Bastila, feeling like a thief, waited in the shadows until the others left the conference room. She had to speak with Carth, if for no other reason than to get him to accept Master Lyret's help. She would even offer to leave the Sojourn if that was what he wanted. When Dustil finally left, she screwed up her courage and stepped from the shadows.

She wasn't expecting Carth to be just on the other side of the door, but apparently, he was leaving when she was going in. He stared at her a moment then stepped aside to go around her.

"Please, I would like to speak with you."

"There is nothing to say."

"I know you won't accept my apology and that is all I can offer you . . ."

"Then you agree, there is nothing more to say," Carth told her as he once again moved to step around her. Bastila mirrored his movement.

"I wish to speak with you about Master Lyret," Carth snorted but she pressed on, "whatever you think or feel about me, don't let those feelings cloud your actions. He and the other Jedi . . ."

"Have once again been foisted off on me without asking for my permission or whether they are even welcomed. You of all . . ."

Bastila shoved him back and stepped forward so the door would close. She didn't want this conversation to take place in the corridor and they were already attracting attention.

"What do you want, Carth? What would it take? If the Exile gets his way, the Jedi will be wiped out right along with Jaden. Is your anger with me so great that you would risk that?"

"I don't need their help." Not anymore he thought. He had what he needed to ensure Jaden's victory. He turned away from her and went to the window.

"She stripped me of my power, my rank, and I am barred from the temple on Coruscant! What more do you want?"

He knew, based on the security tape he watched of their confrontation that Jaden had punished Bastila for her part in Dustil's kidnapping, but he didn't realize it was that severe. He pushed aside the disquiet he suddenly felt.

"I want. . ." What did he want? They had been through so much together starting with Revan and the search for the Star Forge. She was young, too young for the council to send her on such a mission and Carth had felt for her, tried to help her in dealing with a personality as strong as Revan's. They had formed a friendship, or so he thought, that had gotten him through the period after Revan left. Bastila helped the Republic track down the Exile and she had offered her support when Zared informed him he had no idea where Revan was. They didn't always see eye-to-eye, but Carth had trusted her.

"I can't do this," he muttered.

"Carth, please."

"I can't do this Bastila, because I can't trust you anymore. You knew what having Dustil back meant to me and you callously threw that aside and for what?"

"Tuluk . . ."

"Frack Tuluk, Bastila! He has nothing, absolutely nothing to do with what you did. Don't you see that?"

"I was concerned about . . ."

"Concerned? Am I that stupid to you? Do you think I'm that much of an idiot that every time a pretty girl comes around I lead with dick and not my brain?" He scrubbed his hands over his face. "What you did . . . Damn it!" He paced back and forth trying to walk off the urge to smack her a good one. "What you did, it's destroyed any faith I had in you. _I_ thought you were smart enough to see behind the lies he told you. For years you have preached about caution and how emotions could blindside you and how that leads to the dark side, but there you were, blindly captivated by everything he said to you because you allowed your feelings for me to get in the way."

Bastila watched him, his posture, his gestures, everything he did radiating his anger and disgust with her. "You're right. But I did it because . . ." she bit her lip and took a shallow breath.

Carth stopped and gave her a patronizing look, daring her to say it. Bastila turned away.

"Is this so different than your feelings for Jaden?" She asked. "What you're trying to do now, return the power she gave you at all costs. How is what you're doing any different than what I did to try and protect you from her?"

Carth narrowed his eyes. She may not see much of a difference, but he certainly did. "You did it for yourself and endangered my son in the process. I'm only sacrificing myself to save the Republic."

Bastila wanted to point out the arrogance in that statement, but she knew it wouldn't be wise.

Carth studied her closely. He saw the doubt in her eyes, could feel the maelstrom of emotion within her. He scrubbed his hands over his face. Some things couldn't be forgiven. He forgave her for the lies about Revan, for the lies of the Jedi Council; he could even forgive their latest end-run around him. But endangering Dustil was the last straw.

"We're done here." He walked to the door. "You'll be informed when your Battle Meditation is needed.

*************************

"Three," he said to Jaden after she told him more of the history. "What the hell is the rule of three?"

Jaden shifted in the copilot's seat and watched him. He had literally kicked her awake about a half hour ago, using his boot to shove her off the bunk. She felt his anger poke at her immediately until she was able to get her hand around the amulet from Yavin IV and use its power to block his.

Something had happened while she slept and it didn't take too much effort to figure out what that something was. The masters had gotten their claws into him a little further. Somehow they had polluted his mind, angered him enough with their truthful deceptions.

"Cupcake, stupid isn't a good look for you," she chirped his favorite phrase back at him.

His scowl was darker than the darkest night and she found a perverse sense of peace in the look.

"The rule of three quite simply is just that. There will be three. Three accords, three keys, three teams to bury the keys," she told him ticking off the list on her fingers. "Light, dark, and neutral."

"But the teams were two people," he snapped. "That blows your little rule out the window."

She shrugged. "Light, dark, it makes gray. Three."

"If you follow that logic, then there should be three of these embodiers."

Jaden held her breath when she hesitated. "No. Two halves to make a whole, so to speak."

*************************

Carth paced his quarters, rubbing his right hand against his forehead and clutching the data pad in his left. He hadn't turned it on yet, not really ready to face what might stare back at him. And he was afraid. He could admit it in the privacy of his own room, he was terrified it wouldn't work, or it would make things worse, and if he was brutally honest with himself, he was afraid it would work and he would die. Simple as that.

He pushed aside all the times he said he was ready to face that eventuality when it came up, but that had always been during battle, defending the Republic. Well wasn't that what he would be doing now? He was a soldier; his sworn duty was to defend the Republic from any and all comers. He had battled the Madalorians. He had battled the Sith. He had faced the lowest point in his life and battled back from a depression so crushing, the last time he thought of ending his life, it was nearly second nature.

But he had been stopped. Jaden had stood by him during the depression and she told him it was Morgana that stopped him from pulling the trigger that long ago night when he sat on his bunk, drunk and crying, not bothering to check the tears that streamed down his face. The love of his life had reached through the Force and stopped him, wanting him to live his life, find love again and go on.

Carth had promised Morgana, when Jaden brought them together at the Valley of Jedi, that he would go on, he would live and love once again. Knowing what the stakes were now, would she hold him to that promise? Would she understand that Jaden needed her power to defeat something that was bigger than he was? That he had to do this in order for everything he fought for to survive.

That Dustil would survive.

He poured himself a Corellian Brandy as he watched the weave of hyperspace fly by. There was no guarantee any would survive the coming battle, but didn't he owe it to them the chance to succeed? The Republic would go on and the others would survive.

Jaden would survive.

If one was to believe what the Jedi spoke of, you returned to the Force when you died. He would be returned to . . . Did it matter if it was Jaden or if it was Morgana. He loved them both, differently, but he loved them.

_~~ Any time you want to chime in, feel free, ~~_ he thought but he received no answer. Helpful and providing answers they were not, he thought of the Force and Jaden's masters. Quick to offer cryptic advice but no substance.

_~~ We can offer substance if that's what you wish. ~~_

Carth stepped back as a black mist began to roil around his feet and take form. His blaster was in his hand before it flew from his grip to land useless across the room.

_~~ Only the silly girl can take a true form so you will have to settle for this. You want an answer as to what you should do. You should do nothing. This fight isn't yours, Son of Isano. It never was. ~~_ The black mist moved closer to him before darting away with a hiss.

"You want her to lose. You want Zared to defeat her so that you will have someone to control."

_~~ Knowing what we are, that surprises you. ~~_

"No," he said slowly as he walked toward what were clearly the dark masters and watched curiously, as they backed away for every step he took forward. It was beginning to make sense to him now, what this really all came down to. "She isn't the only one, is she? Zared is also an embodier. I'm guessing that Jaden showed up at the Valley of the Jedi first, and that left your boy out in the cold."

They hissed as they darted past him to avoid being trapped. _~~ Lucky guess. We're surprised you have the intelligence to figure that out. ~~_

"Oh I think I'm figuring out more than just that."

*************************

Yan Chole never thought of himself as special or privileged. He served at the Emperor's pleasure to the best of his ability. He was proud of the contribution he made to putting down uprisings and insurrections around the Empire, the Proditors – those that would challenge the mighty righteousness of the Sith – he had destroyed.

For Yan it was simply what he did, but today was a little different. Today he did feel special and privileged because today the Emperor was returning with his greatest enemy. Yan allowed himself a small smirk at the thought that a woman tried to best his leader. _Stupid bitch!_

Anticipation crawled along his nerve endings as the shuttle approached the hangar, slipped through the shield to land. Yan had a moment of shock and confusion seeing Darth Tyr at the controls and the enemy called Jaden beside him. They were arguing as they shut down the engines and when Zared pointed at her across the console, she grabbed his finger, flung it aside and left her seat. Other soldiers saw what she did and unease rippled through the ranks.

"Aeden," they heard as the shuttle door opened, "you're an idiot!"

Zared grabbed her arm and squeezed. "Careful, darling," they heard the low whine of blasters engaging and the sharp sound of sabers engaging. "The ice you stand on is as thin as my patience."

The cool blue of his eyes reminded her of the glaciers on Hoth; cold and unforgiving. Jaden shook off his hand and picked up the bag she dropped when he grabbed her.

"Then allow me to lighten the load."

As the soldiers around him began to fall, Yan raised his rifle. The shot he managed to get off – he saw in an infinitesimal moment – was redirected back to the center of his forehead by his leader.

Jaden draped the bag over Zared's shoulder, feeling his anger deepen. It was what she would need to succeed in ending this division. She had to keep poking at him and when he was consumed by the dark side, she could take what was hers – all of it.

"You really need to stop believing your own hype."

"You need to stop killing my men."

"You need to keep a tighter leash," she snapped confident that lack of discipline wouldn't have happened had their roles been reversed. Just one more reason to end this travesty that started so long ago.

As Zared watched her descend the ramp he was asked, ~~_At what point do you cease letting her humiliate you, set aside your feelings for her, and end this?_ ~~

~~ _Shut up._ ~~

*************************

He fumed as they walked down the corridor toward the conference room where Radha and the other historians were waiting. So deep in his thoughts he didn't realize he was following her as if she knew the ship intimately.

Once again, he found himself wondering where she was getting the power to quickly – and without warning – destroy several squads in the hanger. Of course, he had killed the one idiot that dared to fire upon her, but the others were already down in that split second.

Was Jaden trying to make him angry? Because that's what she was doing. She was making him angry, angry enough to make him want to lash out at her. He nearly missed a step at the thought.

~~ _He can be taught!_ ~~

~~ _Then it's a good thing I learned to have the patience of the Jedi._ ~~

He knew that little tidbit would piss them off and was satisfied with their growl of impatience.

Jaden felt the shift in his anger and sighed. It wouldn't do any good to appeal to the light masters to tell the dark to butt out. After all, she was the one battling for her . . . self to be whole again so she could go home.

When they walked into the room, both saw Radha's head snap up like a predator sensing his dinner. The analogy was spoiled, however, when the man's lips split into an enormous grin as he rose from the chair and hustled over to them. Well, hustled as well as a man of an ancient, indeterminable age could.

Jaden took a step back and found her retreat blocked by Zared's chest. His hand came up, squeezed her shoulder as he whispered, "Courage, darling," in her ear.

"Child!" Radha called out as Jaden found herself engulfed in rough, woolen clad arms. His exuberance had her squeaking from the strength of the embrace.

"Radha," she croaked as she pushed at his shoulders. "I can't breathe." She looked to Zared for help, but he only shook his head, crossed his arms and leaned against the table.

"It's good to see you again," he said with one more squeak inducing squeeze before he stepped back.

Jaden took a deep breath. "Yeah, you too."

"The son of Isano and the daughter of . . ."

Jaden could see the old rheumy eyes search for the name. "Xela," she supplied and ignored Zared's raised brow.

"They are well?"

She thought of Carth and Visas and nodded.

"Good. Now," Radha said as he divided his look between her and Aeden. "Where is the key?"

Zared rolled his eyes before fixing a stern look on her. "Oh, I imagine it's in the deepest, darkest bowels of the Jedi Temple on Coruscant by now."

"Wow," Jaden said in a bland voice, "you do the 'indomitable odds' tone really well."

Zared's look turned snarky. She returned a smirk before reaching for the bag beside him.

"I figured these would be of more interest." She flipped back the leather flap and showed Radha the data pads and small tablets.

The old man's face lit up like a sun. "Gimme," he grabbed the bag and began rifling through the contents. "The final tale?"

"Yes."

"And a child lives?"

Jaden thought of Atton. "Yes."

"Who?" Radha asked looking at her then waved his hand. "No, don't tell me. Half the fun is in puzzling my way to the end."

Jaden fractionally let her shoulders relax. Zared had already promised he wouldn't hurt Carth and he cared too much for Visas to harm her. It was Atton that annoyed him enough that he could destroy D'Nara's offspring. A risk she wasn't willing to take and one the galaxy couldn't afford if she failed.

"So, what now?"

Zared looked at one of the guards and nodded.


	49. Chapter 48

"Wait," Radha spoke holding up one hand as four guards came forward to surround Jaden. "You would put her in the brig?"

Jaden was about to point out that that wouldn't hold her very long but based on Zared's narrowed looked at the old man she suspected he knew that. She was going to have to come up with something different. She had to find a way to get back under his skin, to piss him off. She could do this, had to do this because the alternative wasn't acceptable. Carth was out of the way and she would have to trust that he would stay out of the way. She knew Zared's fleet was approaching Telos and that threat would keep him and the Sojourn occupied.

Looking around the room she saw the light side obelisk in one corner and the neutral in the other with each key lying on the floor beside their respective holder. A quick scan of the table showed the artifacts and other data pads they had collected. Her eye was caught by the amulet, the light side amulet. As she studied it, it began to vibrate as its counterpart did in her pocket. _Of course,_ she thought mentally slapping her head. This close together the amulets would begin to react to one another and if they did, that meant the light side key would react if she were naked so to speak. It was a risk, but showing a sudden burst of power just might be enough to get Aeden back on the road to his anger.

"It's alright, Radha," she assured him as she stepped toward the guards. When they reached the door, she smiled at one of them and turned back. "I almost forgot." She reached into her pocket and withdrew the dark side amulet. "Catch."

The moment it left her hand, she was assaulted by the dark side but stood her ground and watched as Zared leapt from his lounging position to catch the object. In that same moment, a low hum encompassed the room as the keys began to react as she hoped. The orbs began to pulse but since there was no connection between the two and the dark side key wasn't present, the energy had nowhere to go but around the room to seek its ground in the dark side.

Jaden watched with a wince as Zared was thrown from his feet as the energy arrowed into the symbol on his back and tossed him into the wall. Okay, she felt bad about it, but she had to do something. Not all her concern was phony as she stepped away from the guards and went to him as he shook his head to clear it. "Oops," she told him as she offered her hand to help him.

His hand shot out and grabbed her by the throat. Anger whipped down his arm and into her catching her off guard as he slammed her back against the wall. It was too much and the pain had her frantically knocking his arm away and stumbling back. _Okay, not such a wise idea after all._ He was pissed, which was good, but the pain snaking through her wasn't pleasant. Taking a deep breath she walked to the light side obelisk and leaned against it, letting the soothing power calm her.

"Child?"

She shook her head then let the guards manhandle her out of the room but not before, she palmed the light side amulet.

Zared watched her go, breathing deeply, as he rubbed absently at his shoulder. "What the hell was that?"

Radha picked up the amulet she had tossed and studied it. It was the exact opposite of the amulet they found with the light side key. He turned to the door looking thoughtful, the power of the obelisks and the keys still vibrating around him. The power had been instant and knew exactly where to strike. "I'm not sure," he mumbled as he set the amulet aside, noting its match was missing.

"What did she do?" He demanded.

"I don't know, youngling," Radha said absently. But he was beginning to suspect.

"Damn it!" Zared kicked the table. "Damn it! She's not strong enough to cause something like that."

"She is the light side point in the Force," Radha pointed out. "It's only natural for her key to react as it did, just as it repelled you, it . . . welcomed her." He looked at the man prowling the room like a caged animal. Thoughts began to roil through his mind as he continued to study Zared. He had been . . . beaten up by the light side key, sore for days after he had touched it the first time, and again, Radha could tell Zared was in pain from being slammed against the wall, yet Jaden seemed unharmed. It was something he would need to think about further.

"This tale you spoke of, does it have to do with the six men that buried the keys?" Zared asked and when he noticed Radha more engrossed in the amulet than his question, he stormed over and knocked it off the table. "Answer me!"

Curious, the old man thought, he had shown no prior interest in any of the history behind the keys. "Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"I tried. The first time you were busy saving the youngest son of Isano and . . ."

"What?" he shook his head, "Are you talking about Dustil? Dustil Onasi?"

"Yes. Dustil and his father are descendents of Isano. He was one of the team that buried the light side key."

A bad feeling was beginning to take root in Zared's gut. "And the other?"

"Your friend, Visas Marr." It was interesting to watch the different thoughts spread across Zared's face as he puzzled out an answer.

Carth, Dustil, Visas, all were connected to the keys, were descendents of those that buried them. All were Jedi, or at least Force users and all were with Jaden.

"I don't know the third since I haven't read the journals yet, but if she said a child lives –"

"Atton," Zared snapped as he spun around. "It's Atton Rand; former Sith assassin. He left Revan's army after a Jedi," and he could guess whom that Jedi was, "showed him his connection to the Force. He killed her because of it," he told Radha but even now, that tidbit was suspect given what he'd learned on the shuttle.

"Are you certain of this? How do you know?"

"Because Atton told me. I forgave the little . . . and trained him in the ways of the Force. I figured he would be a good ally for the Sith since he'd already been one."

"Then what changed?"

Zared looked at him and narrowed his eyes. "He changed his mind, stayed behind with the others at Malachor V. I thought he was a coward, could never make up his mind." He began to pace.

"What are you thinking?"

_I'm thinking I've been used, from the very beginning. That bitch has been leading me by the balls the whole time and her masters' have been helping her._

"When she was on the home world, what did you talk about with her?" He demanded as he backed Radha into the table. The other historians skittered away.

"Nothing specific. We spoke of the Sith and the Jedi."

"Did she tell you the history of the True Sith and the True Jedi? Did she talk about an embodier?"

It was in that moment that Radha realized his life depended on carefully crafting his words. "No, what's this about _an_ embodier; you are the embodiment of the dark side and her light. You must defeat her to gain the Valley of the Jedi and reach your ultimate goal. You know this. What did she tell you?"

*************************

At least it wasn't the brig, she thought as she followed the four guards to the guest quarters. Nevertheless, it still stung. When they stopped, she stepped between them into the small sitting area, decked out in muted black. Decorating wasn't the strong point to the suite since it was rather sparse, but again, it wasn't the brig.

"My bloody fracking ship," she muttered as she shed her jacket and tossed it over a chair. "I designed it and built it and the first time I'm on it I'm a 'guest' of the Emperor." She poured herself some water and chugged it down. Okay, she thought, _technically,_ it wasn't hers per se, but she did design it, and she did have to _trick_ the ship builder into building it twelve years ago, but it was still hers and it chaffed knowing that Zared was the first to use it. The pain caused by the dark side stabbing at her was making her cranky. She had made a mistake trying to manipulate the Force in her current state and it cost her.

Slamming the glass down, she moved toward the bedroom, stumbled up the two steps of the platform, and fell face first on the bed. Exhaustion had finally caught up to her. Her brief nap on the shuttle had only gotten her a jump-start. Then to expend energy she really didn't have to take out the men in the hangar and that disastrous folly in the conference room. Zared was pissed, she could feel it pushing at her even now, but she had miscalculated the speed at which he would retaliate and it cost her. Her neck was sore from his grip, her back throbbed from being slammed against the wall, and doubts she would succeed caused tears to prick against the back of her eyes. In her current state, it didn't take long for sleep to overcome her.

*************************

Carth sat on the couch and looked around at the quarters he lived in and had share with Jaden. He picked up the data pad and studied it once more.

"I'm sorry sweetheart; I just can't honor your wishes in this."

He thumbed the switch on the side and studied the words. Taking a deep breath and closing his eyes, he said the words that would change his life forever.

"Vita vis Vitea."

*************************

As it was late, Radha sent the other historians to their beds. It was also a simple solution to keep them out of harm's way. Zared was on the edge, more than Radha had ever seen, and he wanted his colleagues as far from the flash point as possible.

The light and neutral keys continued to hum quietly in the corners, effectively acting as a barrier against Zared's angry pacing. Each time he came close to that side of the room, the air would crackle with energy, forcing his retreat.

The fact that this happened only now, with Jaden's presence, led him to believe that she was more than the light side point in the Force. He looked at the amulet she tossed to him. It was clear that Jaden retrieved this with the dark side key so it made sense that it acted as some type of shield cloaking her power until that moment she let it go.

When Zared announced he was going to the bridge, Radha forced himself to nod distractedly. The moment the door closed, he scrambled around the table to the small tablets she brought him.

As he cleared the table, he berated himself for not recognizing the clues that had been under his nose all along. He hadn't thought much of it, since the tablets appeared to have only one symbol on each, but learning the various connections of all the players was teasing his curiosity.

He placed the three tablets from the dark side key in a row. Above those, the three from the neutral key and topped it off with the three remaining from the light.

"And you call yourself a historian," he mumbled as he rearranged each row until a completed passage emerged.

_Of six there are three, of three only one._

"Six," he whispered. "The admiral, his son, Visas Marr, Atton Rand, Zared and Jaden." Radha stepped back. "You're all connected to the keys." He crossed his arms and tapped a finger against his lips.

"Of three, only one. Jaden and Zared are two. They have to be because of the symbols they each wear." He put his hands on his hips. "So who's the third? And of the three, who's the one?"

*************************

Jaden would never know how long it was before her eyes fluttered open and she found herself in the Force. Fully in the Force, as she looked down and found she was dressed all in white.

_~~ What am I doing here? ~~_ She asked looking around frantically. She hadn't said the words and couldn't think of a reason for the masters to bring her here. Spinning once more, she saw a figure walking towards her. It didn't take long to recognize the man approaching with purpose in every step.

~~ _No. What are you doing?_ ~~

~~ _Child, we have done nothing. _~~

~~ _I don't believe you. I told you not to tell him! _~~

~~ _We told him nothing, silly girl! _~~

Jaden continued to watch as Carth drew closer. ~~ _You won't trick me. I know you told him the words._ ~~

~~ _Child,_ ~~ the light masters' sigh was full of resignation.

~~ Y_ou're lying to me. I won't destroy him! Do you hear me, I won't!_ ~~

In a flash, Jaden found herself standing in Dustil's quarters on the Sojourn watching as she stood by the desk and picked up a picture of Morgana. Horror began to race through her and the memory fast-forwarded . . .

"_What do you see," she asked._

"_You. My room."_

"_Close your eyes."_

_Dustil took a deep breath and did as she asked._

"_Vita vis Vitea," Jaden whispered, and felt a quiver run through him._

~~ _No! _~~ She screamed! ~~ _I wiped his mind. I know I did!_ ~~

"Jaden?"

"No," she said backing away from Carth and quickly putting her hands behind her back when he reached for them. "You shouldn't be here."

"Jaden," this time he grabbed her shoulders and pulled her close.

She mumbled her denial again as she found her lips captured in a kiss that seared straight to her bones and caused them melt. "Don't," but the protest was weak and filled with tears as her arms came around him, to hold on. His strength bolstered her spirit and she wanted nothing more than to stay just like this for eternity.

"Sweetheart," he whispered running his hands over her back. Something settled his anxiety for her and he felt at peace.

She couldn't do it. Jaden couldn't stand here and enjoy this reunion knowing what was going to happen. She gathered her strength and pushed him away. "Go home, Carth."

"Jaden, you can't do this alone. I won't let you."

"I _can_ do this on my own. I don't need you and I won't sacrifice your life. You have to trust me." Her tone was so close to begging she looked away, mortified.

"And you have to trust me." Carth grabbed her when she began to walk away and spun her back around. "I can't do what you're asking me to do. I'm a soldier, Jaden, not a Jedi. You have to take back your power so you can defeat Zared.

"Even now I can feel the darkness surrounding you," he told her as he rubbed his hands up and down her chilled arms. "You have to do this."

"No. I won't risk your life," she whispered and let the tears she'd been choking back spill over. "I won't let you die." _I can't lose the voice!_

"Jaden, baby, don't do this." he said brushing the hair from her face, the tears from her cheek. "You've done so much for me. You healed me. You gave me back my son. You kept a promise to Morgana so I could see her one last time."

She closed her eyes and whispered, "You're welcome."

"You have to let me help you."

"No."

"Jaden, please."

"No, Carth. I can do this," she told him, turning pleading eyes to him. "I didn't save you, as you say, simply to turn around and destroy you. And you're wrong; you can fight Zared and the True Sith if I fail. The Republic needs you more than I do. It needs its soldiers and yes, an admiral that happens to be a Jedi. Atton, Visas, and Vandar can teach you what you need to know, but you already have my knowledge, you just need to use it so there's no need to be a self-sacrificing son-of-a-bitch."

Carth paused, firming his lips. He needed a different approach. "Do you love me?"

Jaden stepped back as if he'd slapped her, her eyes going wide. "That's low, Onasi, especially coming from you." Once again, she turned away.

"Do you?"

Turning back, she bracketed his face and kissed him softly. "Yes."

"The last time I loved this deeply I was helpless to save Morgana. Well I'm not helpless this time and I'll be damned if I let someone else die because I failed to save her."

"Please don't do this. Don't ask this of me. I won't take it."

"Then we stay here? Leave ourselves trapped in the Force while Zared and who else knows who, is out there destroying innocent lives?"

_If it were only that simple._

"You're the one who brought us here. You're the one who listened to the masters, and I'm certain it was the dark masters, as they whispered in your mind, appealing to your sense of martyrdom."

*************************

When Zared stepped on the bridge, the noise level dropped dramatically. One unlucky soul that crossed his path was thrown to his death, his neck snapped before he hit the wall.

~~ _Good. Your anger grows powerful._ ~~

~~ _Shut up!_ ~~

"Report," he demanded of Captain Eps, who snapped to attention.

"We are approaching Telos. The rest of the fleet will rendezvous just prior to our arrival. All is in readiness, Milord."

"Notify the rest of the fleet; the moment they are clear of hyperspace they are to engage the Republic fleet. I want them destroyed, Captain Eps, do you understand?"

"Yes, Milord."

_Oops my ass_, he thought. _We'll see who says oops when your precious Republic fleet is destroyed and that bastard Onasi lies broken and bloody. I'm done playing your game, Darling. I'm done with your lies, _he through viciously. His shoulder throbbed as he berated himself for his stupidity and it wasn't just Jaden who had played him. This had been going on for years, he realized. Well no more, he was done being a tool in her sick and twisted plans.

~~ _Finally! Finally, you see the truth. You see your destiny, the one chosen to rule the galaxy and the True Sith. The feeble Jedi Council saw your destiny and they punished you for it. Revan knew and tried to send you to your death at Malachor V. She knew the power of the Mass Shadow Generator and counted on it to destroy you, but you were stronger and survived._

~~ _The usurper was plotting against you even as she lay with you. _~~

Zared clenched his jaw at their whispered words, the pain spiking in his shoulder.

~~ Although t_he silly girl did you a favor in destroying Revan, she foolishly believes your destruction will bring her one-step closer to having it all but she has miscalculated. Her choice of ally is no match for you._ ~~

He felt it then, the stirring in the Force. Just as before, the tug forward, and this one was ominous. The air around him began to crackle with violence. ~~ _What is she doing?_ ~~

They chuckled. ~~ _Her ally makes her vulnerable and in her own arrogance, she believes she can defeat you._ ~~

~~ _What are you saying?_ ~~

~~ _Now is the time to strike. Now is the time when the orb atop her key is unprotected._ ~~

*************************

Carth watched with a sense of doomed wonder as the air around them shimmered and turned darker, as her pure white mantel began to flow and twist in a cold, icy wind as the fabric seemed to tatter. The crystal, clasped at her throat began to pulse, sending out sparks she seemed to ignore. Suspicions turned to hard truth.

"Does he know," he asked running a hand down her arm. "Does Zared know he's an embodier as well?"

"What?" Jaden stiffened with shock.

"I'll take that as a no."

"How did you – "

"Figure it out? I had a visit from the dark masters. They told me this wasn't my fight."

"It's not," she snapped wondering what they were up to now.

"Nevertheless, you made it mine when you restored my life." He watched her turn away. "It takes a lot of power to do that. It would also take a great deal of power to divide the Force as Zared did, according to you, at Malachor V." He studied her closely, looking past the shock and fear of discovery in her eyes. "So I'll ask again; does he know?"

Jaden closed her eyes and shook her head.

"I can't believe I didn't realize this before but that's neither here nor there, but I suppose then, it makes sense there's a third one," he said quietly before stepping away.

She reached out and grabbed his arm. "I'm sorry, Carth. I couldn't tell you. It's forbidden in order to protect them. But yes, Aeden is one and there is another." With a shrug she added, "I was the one that was chosen."

A flicker of dark power seemed to envelop her. _Not now, you bastards, _she thought as pain began to lick along her skin. _No matter what I do, I manage to screw it up._ "Go home, Carth."

He heard the resignation, the utter sense of failure in her quiet words, and looking at her, he saw himself. Carth recognized the feeling that no matter how hard you tried, no matter what you did, there was always a chance it would go wrong, that something greater could step in and screw it up. She may embody the Force, but even Jaden had masters. He shook his head slowly, watching as her skin paled and her eyes darkened.

"Not until you release me . . .," his breath violently hitched as his head snapped back.

"No!"

Time seemed to slow to syrup as he saw, more than heard, Jaden scream the denial and reach for him. He stumbled back, trying to escape the weight crushing his chest and found himself standing on a precipice to nothing, his heels slipping off the edge.

"NO!"

Images began to stream from his mind. The small boy with his first hover bike . . . a child turning cartwheels in a meadow as the mother watched with sadness.

. . . The first time he saw Morgana . . . the child, tears streaming down ashen cheeks as the mother walked away.

. . . The day of his wedding . . . the young woman standing as a shadow behind Mandalore the Ultimate, whispering in his ear.

It wasn't just his life he was seeing, but also Jaden's as her power screamed from him to wash over her, surrounding her like the silken threads of a spider's web.

Jaden couldn't stop it, she knew that and watched with a sad kind of horror, as all the things she had done flashed before his eyes.

_Yes, I was the unknown Sith faction that started the Mandalorian wars._

. . . The birth of Dustil . . . Revan, kneeling before a black robed Jaden at the Trayus Academy.

_Yes, I was the one she came to see, I am the one that used her ruthlessly to wipe out the Jedi._

. . . The last time he saw his wife and child, as he returned to the fleet to follow Revan and Malak . . . a blood-curdling scream as the Force was torn in two above Malachor V.

_My scream as Aeden ripped away my power, not knowing what he was doing._

. . . The destruction after Saul bombed Telos, running frantic through the rubble to find Morgana and the utter devastation when she died in his arms . . . Jaden, sitting in the tallest tower at the valley temple, tears streaming down her face as she reached out, and wrapped herself around a tortured voice.

_You touched me then, made my misery bearable, gave me the strength to go forward. Why do you think it was so easy for Revan to sweep across the Republic? I was but a shell at that point, unable to stop what I'd started, and you saved me._

The images changed then, became more of a third-person point of view as he saw himself wandering through the ensuing years, seeing his bid for self-destruction, the determination in embracing the need for revenge to his soul. On the Ebon Hawk and the constant presence of Jaden protecting the voice, or trying to at least.

_You hold my heart._

Carth's body doubled over and he stumbled back, slipping as the precipice gave way.

"_Child. . ."_

"_NOOO!_" Jaden screamed as she watched his arms pinwheel to gain purchase on the crumbling edge.

"_Your highness . . ."_

Moving forward, she tried to reach him, but a flash of blinding light had her throwing an arm over her eyes.

"Darth Tyr!"

Her eyes flew open as she reared up from the bed and grabbed Radha by the throat. She was breathing heavily as she stared into his patient myopic eyes. "What did you call me?"

"That which you are, Empress, but it doesn't matter right now. You must hurry. He has gone to destroy the key." Zared had stormed into the conference room and ordered him out. When Radha had questioned what he was doing, Zared had used the Force and gripped by the throat, tossed Radha toward the door.

Jaden felt it now, the icy heat of the dark side wasn't from the masters', it was Zared, and he was battering against her power, the power that Carth unwittingly returned with his careless words. Grief threatened to swamp her, and she forced it aside. She couldn't help Carth now. All she could do was end this. She released Radha and crawled from the bed.

"How do you know who I am?"

"That of the three, you were the one chosen, the embodier?" He shook his head with a slight smile creasing his lips. "I'm old, child, not feeble. The clues, if read properly, will always lead to an answer. Now go. His anger is great, and if he succeeds in destroying the orb atop the light side key, you will cease to exist."

*************************

Atton's fury was a palpable thing as he raced through the corridors of the Sojourn. He had been with Master Lyret and Bastila, arguing about how the Jedi Council had used Carth. When the master Jedi had stopped mid-tirade Atton felt the change in the Force; the slow tug that gathered authority as it built around them. It pulled at him, causing him to step forward. The last time this happened, he'd been standing at ground zero, and although this clearly wasn't the case now, he braced himself. "Son of a bitch," he whispered, before he felt an invisible grip on the environment around him.

If it was possible, Atton heard the gasp for air before an explosion of sound and power washed over him, throwing him off his feet. Master Lyret was tossed carelessly into a nearby wall as Bastila held on for dear life. The Sojourn buckled and twisted, was thrown from the hyperspace route, its metal screeching in protest before quieting to a low hum.

"Carth!" Bastila cried out his name before scrambling toward the door only to be ruthlessly shoved aside.

"Stay the hell away from him!"

*************************

Jaden's power crawled along her skin to find entrance through whatever pore wasn't overwhelmed at the moment. The door to her quarters was locked and without a second thought, she used the Force, forming a fist, before she sent a powerful wave of energy, causing the door to fly out into the corridor. Men screamed, but she ignored it as she strode forward, the sirens calling for battle stations as the men, single file and in squads moved to their positions. When someone was in her way, she gripped them and tossed them aside. When she reached the conference room, she used the Force and shoved the two guards against the far wall with only her mind. Again, the door was locked so drawing on the darkness surrounding her she zapped the control.

When the door opened – and in a heartbeat – she saw Zared, lightning streaming from his fingers as he concentrated on the orb attached at the top of the light side key. He couldn't destroy the obelisk, but the jewel was another matter. _Bastards,_ she thought knowing the dark masters told him what to do.

She took two steps, leaped to the top of the table, ran four more, and launched herself at Zared's back. The momentum sent them toward the corner of the room as the lightning he used surrounded them both. He cried out, she let it come, let it mingle with her newly restored light side as she felt it arrow through to her soul.

They were on equal footing once again.

Using the Force, Zared pushed her aside; well actually, he pushed her into the opposite wall leaving her momentarily breathless. He was on her in a heartbeat, and she blocked his downward swing, millimeters from her throat. Kicking up with her legs, she shoved him back far enough to gain her feet.

"What did you do?" He demanded.

"I've done nothing," she snarled remembering Carth's eyes as her world collapsed around them, "and that's the problem. I see now I never should have waited, I should have destroyed you years ago."

*************************

Canderous met Atton as they rounded the corner in their quest to reach Carth's cabin. "What happened?"

"Poster boy did something really stupid." The door was locked and rather than mess with it, Atton ignited his saber and shoved it through the locking mechanism.

A quick scan showed the living area was empty and both men ran to the bedroom to find Carth on the floor, not breathing.

"Fracking shutta! She promised . . ."

"She didn't," Dustil said out of breath as he raced in behind them. "I did. Is he . . ."

"Call the med-team," Canderous shouted as he began CPR.

*************************

"You won't win, Jaden. I'm stronger than you."

"Is that what those lying, thieving bastards told you?"

"The dark side is stronger," Zared insisted as he sent a stream of lightning towards her. She blocked the direct hit with her saber and let it flow down the blade, through the hilt and up her arm.

"I wouldn't count on it!" Using her other hand she pushed him off his feet and sent him into the corridor, bowling down several men in the process.

*************************

"General Lavek? Several ships have just dropped out of hyperspace."

They were sitting Mynocks. Several of their systems had been knocked out in the wave of Force energy that had encompassed the fleet. "Ready all squads," he shouted as he moved from station to station, gathering updates on repairs and status reports.

"Sir?"

It took a moment for the deafening silence to penetrate his mind and when it did a sense of foreboding so strong it robbed him of rational thought, stopped him. He straightened from the station he was examining and slowly turned toward the front window. Well, it would have seemed like a window if he could have seen stars twinkling in the distance. As it was, the view was blocked by a ship that was twice the size of the Sojourn and black as sin.

Lights glittered from the sleek triangular shape. Turrets, massive in size, were clearly visible and it was vomiting squad after squad of small fighters. "Raise shields!" He ordered just before the ship was rocked by a powerful blast.

*************************

"They lied to you, you know," Jaden told Zared as she went on the offensive and battled him back toward the bridge of the Gehenna. Each time they made contact, either through a saber lock or a physical blow, she stole a little more of her dark side power from him. She had nothing to lose at this point. Carth was dead, there was no reason she shouldn't destroy the man that caused all of this to happen when he set off the Mass Shadow Generator. Everything she had won and lost could be clearly laid at his feet. Anger, like nothing she had ever known, began to consume her.

"They told you, you would rule the galaxy didn't they," she said with a swing at his feet. When he jumped, she sneered and side kicked him, throwing him off balance. "But they didn't tell you how you would rule the galaxy."

"Just as long as you're dead, it doesn't matter." He dodged her side swing and rammed his left shoulder into her side.


	50. Chapter 49

"_They told you, you would rule the galaxy didn't they," she said with a swing at his feet. When he jumped, she sneered and side kicked him, throwing him off balance. "But they didn't tell you how you would rule the galaxy."_

"_Just as long as you're dead, it doesn't matter." He dodged her side swing and rammed his left shoulder into her side_.

*************************

There was a stunned, surprised pause on the bullet shaped bridge of the Gehenna as Jaden and Zared burst through the mangled door. Soldier's mouths gaped open as they watched their leader defend then advance his position through a flurry of moves. The combatants thrust, spun, ducked, and jumped, a seemingly choreographed dance to the hum and clash of their silver and deep red sabers.

Guards rushed forward only to be thrown back into walls and windows that shattered, sucking air and bodies into space before dura-steel plates slammed shut.

Men scrambled out of the way when Jaden blocked, forcing Zared's saber down just enough to give her the room to follow through with a vicious left jab causing him to stumble back in to the edge of a thin walkway. She followed through with a boot to his chest causing him to back flip off the edge. When he jumped to the walkway, he brought his saber down in a wide swing. Jaden blocked the move with ease, thankful she had been taught by the best the Sith and Jedi could offer. They were nearly shoulder-to-shoulder, breathless with the exertion, glaring at each other.

"Do you think you get to sit that fabulous ass of yours on a throne and direct your minions to do the bidding of the True Sith?"

"The Jedi and Republic are weak!" Zared came at her from the right. She blocked his side swing.

"Do you hear yourself? There was a time you swore an oath to protect the Republic and the Jedi order. Now, because of your exile and Kreia's teachings, you want payback?"

"You know nothing about it! You know nothing about being used, about doing someone else's dirty work. They all deserve to be punished." He spun away when she forced her saber forward.

"Maybe you were used, but it wasn't to extract some kind of revenge for Kreia by murdering the Jedi Masters. You were used to get at me!"

"There is nothing you can say to me that will spare your life, darling."

"I couldn't do what they wanted. I couldn't play their game; I couldn't finish what I started, so when you severed the Force at Malachor V, they took advantage of it."

"Your failures as the light side point don't concern me." Once again, he took the offensive forcing her back then into a saber lock.

He wasn't listening. With a sigh, she told him, "Well it should, Aeden because you'll be the one to clean up the mess. You may think you can rule the True Sith, but are you prepared to be the one True Jedi? Are you ready to live the rest of your existence in a drafty and dusty temple on a hidden planet? Overseeing the galaxy through the Force?"

She shoved him back and flipped off her saber. Jaden studied him as they circled each other, oblivious to the sounds and battle going on around them.

"There is no light side or dark side points, Aeden. There is only one. Only one can embody the Force. If you're ready to take on keeping the balance between the light and dark, the Republic and Empire then strike me down."

***********************

Kwyn levered himself up using one of the consoles for support. "Report!"

"General, the shields are holding."

He heard the awed surprise as he helped one of the gunners to his station. Silently thanking Jaden for ignoring Carth's order to remove the upgrade to the fleets' shields, he turned to the bridge window. The Gehenna sat there picking off fighters and causing serious damage to the other Republic cruisers.

"Do we have the firepower to take that bastard out?" He demanded.

"It's doubtful, General Lavek. We did destroy the ship that fired on us, but I think that was luck."

_There is no such thing as luck_, he thought.

"Kwyn."

He gave a brief look over his shoulder and spotted Visas. "I don't . . ." he stopped when she placed a hand on his arm. Looking at her again, he knew. "Carth."

"They've taken him to the medical bay."

"How bad," he asked as the ship rocked side to side from the shock waves around them.

Visas shook her head. "They don't expect him to survive."

He didn't have time for the spike of grief and pain. He looked at the Gehenna and firmed his lips.

*************************

Zared came at her and she blocked his move.

"But you should know a few things first. As the embodier, you give up your life. You still exist and can . . . become whole once in a while but most of the time you are the Force. That mystical ether that surrounds you, penetrates you, binds the galaxy together."

He hooked a foot around her ankle in an attempt to trip her but at the contact; he felt a sharp pain race up his leg. Jaden smirked when his strength begin to drain yet mingled with the dark pleasure of his end was regret.

~~ _Child, why do you do this? _~~

~~ _Finish him you stupid silly girl!_ ~~

~~ _He deserves the truth._ ~~

~~ _He deserves your contempt,_ ~~ the dark masters snapped. ~~ _He is weak._ ~~

Jaden continued to watch Zared. How typical, she thought. The dark masters had used him to gain control; and because he didn't fall in line they had no use for him anymore and therefore thought nothing of casting him aside.

~~ _You're wrong,_ ~~ she told them. ~~ _You never told him the whole truth. You never gave him a chance so now you want me to destroy that which you have no use for without telling him why._ ~~

"There is no throne, no seat on the Jedi Council, or at the Emperor's table. You are both Supreme Jedi Lord and Darth Tyr, ruler of the True Sith. You're also the hope of so many and the destructive force for others. Oh, you can play with their lives as you choose, but for one action, there must be another. There must be balance."

*************************

"Well?" Canderous demanded of Atton who was pacing the waiting room. Dustil stood, stoic, at the window watching the medical team, work on his father.

"We'd be dead before we left the hangar," Atton snapped unable to settle. The Force swirled around him like a tornado. _Things_ . . . seemed to slam into him before being whisked away with the next eddy of power. It was . . . chaotic. He pressed the heels of his hands to his temples.

"What is wrong with you," Canderous demanded grabbing Atton's arm to stop his furious pacing.

"It's the Force," Master Lyret said as the door to the room swished shut behind him. "It's in disarray."

Canderous sneered at the master Jedi before turning back to Atton. "All the more reason to go. If you can't tell who's winning," he paused. When Atton shook his head, he continued. "Then it's up to us to finish Zared if she can't. I didn't agree to this little adventure only to lose in the end."

"You're a Mandalorian," Atton snapped frustrated he couldn't control the storm of the Force battering him. "You aligned yourselves with the Sith for Force sake."

"So did you!" He barked and then waved that aside when Atton's eyes darkened. "Ours nearly brought the genocide of my people! Because of him," he waved in the general direction of the Gehenna. "I'm trying to rebuild the honor of my people and that won't happen if Jaden loses. The consequences will be far greater than the death of the Mandalorians."

Atton thought for a moment before nodding. "All right, we can use Bastila's Battle Meditation to keep the Sith off our ass, then she can help the others."

*************************

What was happening to him? Where was this pain coming from? He wasn't seriously injured but he was beginning to feel as if someone had opened a thousand tiny cuts in his veins and was slowly draining his blood.

"Ever the negotiator. This is why the Jedi will fail, why you will fail," he sneered.

"This is not a negotiation, Aeden." She shook her head. "I use to wonder 'why me?', but the reason is becoming clear."

"What are you talking about? What reason? For what," he shouted.

Jaden heard the edge of anger in his voice. She could see the pain on his face as she took back her power at a steadier pace. "Why it was me to be the embodier and not you. Why you will fail," she shrugged. _Keep him pissed off._ "The dark masters are right. You are weak." And she immediately blocked his saber, but relished his bellow of outrage.

Every thrust, parry, and hit seemed to become weaker and less effective. Aeden narrowed his focus, blocked out the voices on the bridge, and concentrated on Jaden.

She looked . . . dangerous, formidable, and magnificent. He silently swore he could see the power of the Force swirl around her.

Zared continued to watch her as they paced in front of each other. She was trying to distract him with talk of embodiment of the Force and being both the one true Jedi and Darth Tyr. Oh, the Jedi masters had talked about balance in the Force and at the time, it sounded good, but he knew now that all the talk was to cover their own cowardice of the true power of the Force.

He ruthlessly pushed aside the inkling that she was telling the truth. It was just another lie that fell from her lips. It was regrettable that he would strike her down; he did care for her after all, but in this – as she said – there could be only one.

"You tell an intriguing tale, darling, but it won't save you. I am the darkness." He drew on the power of the dark side – not knowing it was nearly the last of what he possessed - and unleashed a flurry of stunning moves.

Jaden blocked, countered, or spun away from each one before she planted one foot, stepped forward, and nearly eviscerated him. "Listen to me!" she pleaded. The power she was retrieving threatened to overwhelm the light and she fought to maintain even a thin shred of control. "Don't make me do this."

Zared jumped back, felt the cool heat from her saber slice at his tunic. He brought his hand up to push her back and found what power he still retained slammed back against him. He called on everything he was to counter her move but when he looked at her, he saw her eyes darken and her slow smile caused a shiver to run down his spine.

With the other hand, Jaden reached out, grabbed his shoulder. His scream was painful as she drove him to one knee by taking back her power. "Since you refuse to listen to the truth maybe you need to be shown." She chuckled and it was a dark, evil sound. She was losing her control over the light.

"Out of six; there are three; of the three, only one." She told him. "Only one will understand what it means to be the embodiment of the Force." Jaden leaned down.

"This is why you weren't chosen, Aeden," she whispered in his ear, "You mastered the light, but you'll never understand the dark side. It's one thing to use the dark power for nefarious purposes, some Kath Sith such as you even claim to embrace it, but it's something else entirely when you live and breathe that darkness." She tipped her head. "Would you like a demonstration?"

His breath came in short painful gasps as he looked at her. She was pale, her eyes dark and hideous. She let go of his shoulder and he collapsed to the floor.

"Get up!" she snarled. "You want to rule the dark side, let me show you what it can really do." Her voice was husky, deep, and malevolent.

Zared didn't move except to curl in on himself trying to get away from the pain throbbing through him, as the abomination that was her voice scraped along his raw nerves.

"I said get up." She reached out with her mind, gripped his throat and slammed his body against the wall, holding him there, several inches off the floor. "It's all about being a bit psychopathic, cupcake. You reach out," she did with her hands, "find your target in the Force, and destroy it." She sounded so matter-of-fact that one would think she was discussing the weather on a pleasant balmy day.

Zared watched as two of the fighters, one Sith, one Republic came to an abrupt halt near the bridge window. With a flick of her wrist, he watched as the fighters, tossed through space, slammed into the bridges of a Republic and Sith warship, exploding on impact, causing them to list to their sides.

"This is one of my favorites." Jaden closed her eyes, slowly formed her hands into fists, and brought them together. The two starships she had damaged with the fighters, bucked, twisted and collided violently, exploding in a fireball that engulfed several of the ships swarmed around them.

*************************

"Watch out!" One of the Jedi - Master Lyret demanded accompany them - cried out as a piece of flaming wreckage headed for the Ebon Hawk.

"HK!" Atton snapped as he maneuvered toward the Gehenna.

"Statement: With pleasure meat bag Jedi!" There was so much giddiness in the droid's tone Canderous chuckled as he watched the debris explode just outside the window of the ship.

When they told HK what they were planning to do, Atton would've sworn every circuit in the assassin droid lit up.

Bastila was in the main hold trying to use her Battle Meditation but it was difficult because the Force was in such a state of flux. Other soldiers gave her a wide berth and Master Lyret briefed the other Jedi that would join them.

"Is it to late to become a Mandalorian," Atton asked as he approached one of the Gehenna's hangar bays. "You know, get all the honor and glory for dying in battle." He went on before Canderous could answer. "'Cuz I just realized the futility of this plan and dying for nothing just pisses me off."

"Then don't die."

Atton nosed the Ebon Hawk into the bay as he ordered HK to shoot anything that moved.

"We find the keys, get Jaden, kill Zared, set the charges and leave," Canderous said recapping their mission.

"Die. You forgot the part about dying."

*************************

Zared could only watch, wheezing as his lungs burned and his guts twisted as she held him pinned to the wall with her mind. Voices screamed in his head and he realized they were the voices of the dying on the two ships.

Every nerve kept a bitter and painful beat. The clarity of his senses was astounding, he thought, as he watched Jaden lay waste to both the Republic and Sith fleets with nothing more than a wave of her hand. The cries of the injured, the dead, and the dying overwhelmed him and threw him back in his memories to the last time he was on a ship's bridge as he felt the galaxy collapse around him. This time, however, the fear of dying was a sharp unwelcomed taste.

"Are you ready to do this yourself? Because I'll let you strike me down if you are."

When he didn't answer, she released him and let him crumple to the floor before walking toward him. "I didn't think so." Once again she patted his shoulder, took what was hers eliciting another scream of anguish.

~~ _What is happening to me?_ ~~

~~ _Do you believe us now? We told you that when you are on your knees, devoid of what you are and asking how, then, perhaps, you would understand. We told you she would do whatever it took to defeat you, even sacrificing that which she cares for the most._ ~~

~~ _What are you talking about!?_ ~~

Jaden heard their conversation through the Force. Just as she heard the cries of the dead and dying, heard the shouted orders on the Sith and Republic ships. The ebb and flow of life in the galaxy.

"You didn't listen. To me or the dark masters," she answered as she studied the crumpled, battered form at her feet. "You took something from me, and I told you I wanted it back." When she approached him, he cringed away. She shook her head. "Pathetic," she added looking out the bridge window.

The power coursing through her was phenomenal. She had adjusted to being the light only but she had forgotten the strength of the dark and realized how much she had missed it. She couldn't end this little skirmish at the moment, her demonstration had cost her and she still wasn't whole, but it felt good to have most of what was hers, even if it was uncontrolled.

Zared wasn't sure he had ever felt this much pain in his life. Every muscle, every joint, hell every cell in his body felt as if it was stuck in a vacuum, his very essence being sucked from him. Being cut off from the . . .

"You weren't cut off from the Force," she snapped impatiently as she looked back at him curled on the floor breathing as carefully as he could. "Don't you get tired of that old song and dance, cupcake?" She shook her head as she came closer.

When his shoulder bumped the wall, he winced but he didn't know if it was from the pain screaming through him or if some innate knowledge knew this was the end.

Jaden dropped to her haunches. "Put simply, you trapped part of the Force within you when you turned away from the pain and death that surrounded you. You slammed a door as a frightened child would against a nightmare. You couldn't handle the flood of those returning to the Force then, just as you can't handle it now.

"Anyway, when you did that, you . . . captured a part of what I am. You made me defenseless to protect myself and because I couldn't do what the dark masters wanted, they bided their time until the debacle at Kataar."

He turned his head when she reached out and gently brushed the hair from his eyes. The storm the initial waves of the dark side had caused was fading and the light was regaining some of its hold on her.

"When Atris gathered the holocrons and went to Taris, the dark ones saw their chance. They manipulated her into finding you, bringing you back to Republic space. Once that was done, they convinced Kreia that she could get her revenge on Scion and Nihilus and put her in your path. The rest, as they say, is history. Her voice had changed once more, back to the melodious tones that spun fantasies in Aeden's mind. Regret and caring shadowed each word of her explanation.

"I couldn't do anything until you decided which . . . side you were going take. Once you did, I could take action."

"If I'd chosen the light side," he asked in a voice as weak as a newborn Kath pup.

"We wouldn't be having this little chat," she said, her voice once again dark with bitterness. "As I told the others, I would have collected the keys, destroyed you, and returned home." She shrugged. "I have no need to rule the galaxy; prove I'm the bad-ass Sith Lord." Her eyes turned hard. "I already am. I'm Darth Tyr. I already do."

*************************

Dustil firmed his lips and once again swallowed hard against the burning in his throat. "Don't do this," he mumbled watching the doctor as he rolled his shoulders. His father had flat lined for the second time. Seeing the tubes and machines hooked to Carth, hearing the beeps and swoosh's of the monitor's added to the claws in his throat.

If one didn't know better, it looked like his father was sleeping, but Dustil knew what _cell degeneration_ and _neural atrophy_ meant. His father's connection to the Force was weakening.

Even though he had been trained in both the arts that defined the dark and light sides, he was terrified to draw on the maelstrom that was swirling around him. He wasn't sure anyone could at this point. A war of sorts was taking place and it was difficult to tell which side was which. All Dustil could do was watch and hope that his father would survive. That Jaden would survive, forgive him for telling his dad the words that caused this and heal him.

_Why did I do this? This is my fault! I never should have told him._ And now, all he could do was watch, helpless to save his father. When the alarms went off for the third time, Dustil jolted from his stupor, overrode the door controls, and stormed into the treatment room.

"Don't you do this!" His shout, as he neared the table, startled the medical staff.

"Get him out of here," the chief medical officer shouted as he pounded on Carth's chest once more. "Now!"

"Don't you leave me, you son of a bitch!" He tried to fight off the two men that had hurried forward and grabbed his arms.

"Let go of me," Dustil demanded trying desperately to shake off the guards but not having much luck. As they muscled him away from the treatment table and back toward the door, he screamed, "Don't you die on me, dad; fight, damn it!"

*************************

"_What are you doing, Admiral?"_

_He spun around and watched as the mist parted. "Morgana," he whispered._

_Tipping her head she asked, "Would you really leave our son? He already believes this is his fault. Would you burden him with that for the rest of his life?"_

"_He's not to blame." When he reached for her, his hand passed through her shoulder._

_Her smile was patient. "And neither are you." She studied him for a moment. "I know you Carth," she added before he could speak. "I know you feel betrayed. Again."_

"_No . . ."_

"_Yes. She never set out for any of this to happen."_

_Carth snorted. "She started the Mandalorian Wars. She caused Revan to fall and Malak right along with her. Jaden caused . . ."_

"_Even she," Morgana interrupted in a quiet voice, "as the embodiment of the Force, has her masters. She's not perfect and she shouldn't be, but she hasn't betrayed you. Right now, she is fighting to correct everything she has been a part of, but she hasn't done the things you accuse her of. Humanity has, they used her, as any Force user does, to gain their ends whether for good or bad."_

"_I know what I saw, Morgan." he told her quietly as he remembered the visions he witnessed when he returned Jaden's power._

"_You saw actions, Carth, not the struggle behind them; her struggle to temper the whims of her dark masters. You didn't see her fear behind the actions, the compassion for those that were injured that she couldn't help."_

"_You're defending her?"_

"_Yes. She gave me my greatest wish; that you and Dustil be protected. Regardless of the outcome of this battle, she won't be able to do that any longer."_

_He was surprised to find a greasy feeling of panic ice over the betrayal that crawled through his gut. "What do you mean?"_

_Morgana shrugged. "You have always been willing to trade your life for the good of the Republic. Have you ever thought about what she would be willing to trade hers for?" She began to walk away then looked back at him over her shoulder. "Make it worth something."_

*************************

Jaden's alignment teetered precariously as the light side then the dark battled for domination. Zared held the last bit that would make her truly whole once again. As the internal war raged, she experienced hatred so intense seeing his destruction elicited a feeling of euphoria. On the other side, the light was tugging at her; bringing forward feelings she thought long buried. Buried the night he embraced the dark, sealing their fates. Jaden reached out once more and traced the back of her fingers down his bloody cheek.

She wouldn't deny she cared for him, deeply, but he had taken so much from her; caused her to lose the love she thought she would never experience - Carth. The voice that had saved her gave her something to fight for, to believe in and when they actually met, gave her something to experience. Not just physically but also with her heart. As the embodier, she had knowledge of every emotion the sentient beings of the galaxy, but it wasn't until Carth touched her that she truly understood what those emotions meant.

She supposed she did owe Zared for that experience, but Jaden couldn't find it within her to give him even that since Carth and the voice was now gone.

"I don't blame you, Aeden," she whispered sadly. "This was a fight you were dragged into not knowing what it really meant; what the stakes really were. You were lied to and used as a pawn to strike at me.

"Despite my actions, I took to heart my duty to maintain balance in the Force. I would have fixed things after Malachor V, but then you . . . well." She reached out and touched his shoulder. "I am sorry you were caught in this struggle for balance."

Sensing things were about to take a turn for the worse, Captain Eps took advantage of her distraction and motioned the soldiers forward.

Zared's pain slammed through her. His beautiful blue eyes dimmed as tears streamed down her cheek. Below her hand, his body writhed and twisted as the last vestiges of her power blew through her.

And along with the power was a small sound. The faint whisper caressed her skin, soothing raw nerves and calming her pounding heart. Jaden gasped and quickly let go.

~~ _Finish him,_ ~~ the dark masters demanded. ~~ _You are Darth Tyr, our child. Return to what you are meant to be._ ~~

"No." She stumbled back and shook her head. Around her, the soldiers paused looking to Eps for orders.

~~ _Child, you must finish what you began however distasteful you find it._ ~~

~~ _Is he alive?_ ~~ She didn't receive and answer. ~~ _Answer me! Does the voice live?_ ~~ Jaden went back Aeden's side. ~~ _The truth or you'll have a new embodier._ ~~ She placed her hand over his heart fully prepared to return all her power to him.

The silence was heavy and seemed to tick by like sap in winter.

~~ _The voice lives._ ~~

*************************

For every room they cleaned out, it seemed like there was twice as many Sith soldiers in the next area. After a brief argument, Bastila had gone with Atton, Canderous, and HK. She couldn't use her Battle Meditation because of the state of the Force, so she insisted on helping them. It was probably just as well in any case. Although they had run into several of the elite Sith warriors that could use the Force, the soldiers had been tougher in overwhelming numbers.

"Which way?" Canderous asked just after he had put a blaster bolt through one of the soldier's head. He bent to place one of the detonators he brought with him.

Atton checked the corridor. They had battled through several of the decks and were approaching the command level. "The bridge is the last place I can think of."

"There will be heavy resistance. Perhaps we should wait for Master Lyret and his Jedi," Bastila suggested.

Atton didn't like the woman, that was no secret but he'd be a fool not to listen to her simply because she annoyed him. Nodding reluctantly he told her, "Get in touch, find out where they are. It looks like there's some kind of conference room just ahead. We can wait for him there." He checked the map he had downloaded after they had finished clearing the hangar.

"Statement: That may take too long. I say we go in with blasters blazing and save the master."

Canderous patted HK's shoulder. "A droid after my own heart," he said with a chuckle. "We need to keep moving. We can't afford to be too late to help Jaden."

"For all we know she's already dead," Atton mumbled then shook his head. He still couldn't find one thing in the Force that would tell him the status of the battle between Jaden and Zared. "Inform Lyret we're headed for the bridge."

Atton's nerves prickled the closer they came to the Gehenna's bridge and met no resistance. Bodies littered the corridor clearly the victims of a Force user, but which one, Jaden or Zared. When they reached the conference room door, HK jimmied the control while he and Canderous waited to storm into the room.

"Don't shoot!"

Both men and HK hurried to surround the old man that stood next to the keys, his hands in the air, his myopic eyes huge behind his glasses.

"My name is Radha Amanuensis, I'm a historian." He took in the group that held two blasters rifles and two light sabers at the ready. "Please, I mean you no harm."

Atton's eyes flicked from the old man to the keys. One of them was glowing, humming, and pulsing all at the same time. It would flare then fade, flare then fade.

"Where's Jaden," he demanded stepping slowly toward the keys.

"Don't touch them!" Radha took a step forward and found himself facing the end of Atton's saber. "Jaden and General Zared are on the bridge." He took a step back.

"Let's go."

"Atton," Bastila said, "the keys. We can't leave them."

"Atton? Atton Rand?" Radha asked once again forgetting the danger and stepping toward the Jedi. When he faced the saber once again, he held up his hands. "You are the son of D'Nara."

Atton frowned at the little old man who seemed delighted by this discovery. Nerves of a different kind edged through him. "No."

"Well, not literally, but you are his descendent." Radha looked at the others. "Are you Visas?"

Bastila, startled by the man's insistence to find answers, shook her head.

"We don't have time for this," Canderous stated.

"Isano?" It didn't seem likely based on the man's armor, but for the moment, Radha was so surprised and delighted to have history – so to speak – in his presence he didn't care.

"Hardly," insult dripped from Canderous's voice as he turned to Atton, "Let's go."

"What about him?"

"Query: May _I_ kill the Sith scum?"

"You use to be Sith scum," Atton muttered.

"Wait. Please. I wish to go with you," Radha said hastily. He was ignored.

"We need to get the keys to the Ebon Hawk," Atton said.

Canderous nodded. "Bastila, wait for Master Lyret. When he gets here, his men can transfer the keys to the ship. Atton and I can handle Zared until you join us."

She didn't like it, but knew the keys could not be left behind. Regardless of what she had thought in the past, she could see the power coursing though the ancient artifacts. "Very well," she sighed.

As they left the conference room, Atton heard the old man ask Bastila, "If you are not Visas and Isano . . ."

*************************

~~ _There is a price for our generosity,_ ~~ the voice of the masters was becoming like hers now, blending into one. She could still tell the difference between the light and the dark, but like her there was more unity.

Jaden ignored them and the storm of the Force raging around her, fighting for control. She looked around the bridge and found the nervous looks of the crew meeting her eyes before darting away to continue the battle. At her feet, Zared laid still as death. Sinking to her knees, she carefully lifted his head and shoulders to her lap. ~~ _No, there will be no more bargains._ ~~

~~ _You cannot dictate . . ._ ~~

~~ _I can and I will! His actions started a cycle of events none of us could foresee, and in our haste to correct an imbalance we have taken too much, caused too much pain. It will end with me._ ~~

Jaden brushed the hair from Aeden's brow. Leaning forward, she whispered to him. "I'm sorry, Aeden." She swiped at the tears on her cheek. "I don't want you to leave me."

At the sound of pounding feet, blasters powering up and sabers engaging she looked up to find the Sith on the bridge facing Atton, Canderous and HK. Although they were woefully outnumbered, the sight of them had her breath backing up in her lungs.

"Stand down!" She shouted as she continued to carefully tend to Aeden. When no one moved, she waved a hand, pushing the Sith back. "I said stand down."

Atton, looking quickly, found Jaden on the floor, Zared's body beside her, his head in her lap. Silence descended on the bridge as the men she had shoved aside slowly got to their feet returning to their battle stances. Behind him, he heard the click of heels rushing in.

"Do as your empress says." Radha hurried over to stand in front of Jaden. "Captain Eps, I implore you; call off your men."

The word "Empress?" echoed around them in the tension.

"Jaden, honey?"

She looked at Atton. "Help him," she said in a voice rough with emotion.

He traded a quick look with Canderous before studying the enemy before him. It wasn't hard to pick out Captain Eps. He was the only man moving forward as he watched Jaden.

"Atton, please," her soft pleading cut through his concentration. Lowering his saber, he stepped to Jaden and went down on his haunches. Her clothes were torn and bloody, her face bruised and streaked with dirt from tears that brimmed in her eyes.

"Jaden, you know I'm no good at healing." When she raised her eyes to his, he saw pain and heartache. It tugged at him, adding a layer of confusion to his conflict. The old man had called her empress. Atton wasn't sure how he felt about that. It made sense since she was the embodiment of the Force that she would also lead the True Sith, but the reality had been a foggy thought in his mind. The next moment, however, disabused him of any conflict and cemented the certainty of her power.

Her eyes turned black, a red halo around her irises and when she spoke, her voice – he scrambled back.

"Proditor," she snapped as Bastila hurried into the room beside Master Lyret. "Heal him!"

"Whoa," Atton said as he used his feet to scoot away as quick as he could.

Bastila froze at the deep, husky demand. "What?" Her voice wavered on the question.

"I said," Jaden repeated as she crooked her finger to pull Bastila closer, "heal him."

Fear like nothing she felt before raced through her. This wasn't the Supreme Jedi Lord giving her a command; this was the full power of the dark side that was forcing her to her knees beside the still body of Zared. "I . . . I . . .," she stuttered then stopped when Jaden narrowed her eyes. She took a shaky breath and when she placed her hand on Zared's head, she found her wrist gripped in a crushing vise.

"I'll know if you bond with him, do you understand?" Jaden fed on the terror she saw in Bastila's eyes. When the frightened woman nodded, she let go.

"Now just one minute," Lyret began to protest and found his words and neck strangled into silence. As he clawed at his throat, Atton snapped out of his stupor and stood.

"Jaden let him go!" Around him the tension thickened, the air crackled.

"Stay out of this Jaq."

The gruesome tone of her voice frayed his nerves. He wasn't equipped to handle this. How did one talk the epitome of the dark side out of murder? "Jaden, honey, I'm asking you to let him go. I know you want to help Zared and he won't interfere," he shot a narrowed look at Lyret. "You have my word. No one will interfere." _Amazing,_ he thought as he saw her shift from the dark to the light. The air around them seemed to calm.

Zared came awake violently before collapsing once again against Jaden. Gathering him closer she looked at Bastila. "Thank you," she whispered as she laid her cheek against the top of his head. She saw Atton and Canderous exchange nervous looks and knew. "You don't want to piss me off right now," she added in a voice gone mean, "by trying to blow up my ship."

It was Bastila who stepped into the thrumming silence. Volatile seemed to tame a word to describe the mood on the bridge. No one had relaxed their battle stance as Sith and Republic alike watched Jaden watch them all. "W – We, ah . . ." Jaden turned to her and Bastila froze at the menacing look.

Atton said, "It was a precaution, Jaden." _Well,_ he thought, _I haven't forgotten how to lie._  
He needed to turn her attention away from the detonators they had placed on the Gehenna. "Ah, shouldn't we get him to a med-bay? Preferably on the Sojourn." The last was said on a mumble.

The sudden shifts from dark to light were exhausting. She knew it would pass and the quicker they happened the more balanced she became. Shorter the swings in her alignment meant better control. Still, that didn't negate the fact that she needed to become horizontal and get some rest.

Jaden struggled under the dead weight of Aeden as she tried to stand and hang on to him as well. She heard blasters and sabers leap to life as Captain Eps hurried forward to help her.

He studied her closely. Eps had heard the exchange between her and Zared so when Radha had rushed in calling her 'empress' it wasn't such a shock. Although he had admired Zared, perhaps he knew, deep down, that his master's destiny lay elsewhere.

Jaden gave him a brief nod acknowledging his unspoken question. "Go home, Captain Eps. It's finished."

"Yes, Milady." He took Zared's weight from her and offered a hand in assistance.

"HK, contact General Lavek. Tell him it's over and to stand-by."

"Statement: Yes, Master."

Jaden's head began to cloud, shaking it once to clear it; she wavered and found herself gathered close in Atton's arms. "The keys?"

"Already on the Ebon Hawk."

"Okay." Then she passed out.


	51. Chapter 50

A/N: _For those still following this story, life got in the way of fun stuff hence the long wait for this chapter so a quick recap. Jaden has retrieved her dark side power from Zared and in the process almost killed him and destroyed most of the Republic and Sith fleets._

* * *

_Idon'twanttoIloveyouMOMshe'stouchingmecongratulationsitsaboysotheHuttsaidtotheI'msorrywecouldn'tsavehimIhateyou . . ._

_Her sight clarified to reveal a warm gray mist, and in that gray mist she saw . . ._

Kwyn Lavek swallowed back the bile that stuck in his throat. Most of the fleet was gone, destroyed in moments and he couldn't even find comfort in knowing that the Sith had lost just as many as the Republic. The silence that had descended over the Sojourn was indescribable. At what point did they stop trying to defend themselves and just sit back and watch as ships collided, fighters literally vaporized before their eyes?

Around him the men on the bridge began to return to their duties, checking monitors, monitoring communications and he knew no one who had witnessed the battle that seemed to be taken from their hands and finished would ever forget what happened here today. Thousands on both sides of the battlefield were dead.

"General," Visas said by his side. "It's over," her voice trailed off as she gazed at the same destructive scene outside the bridge windows, "Jaden –"

"Don't," he snapped. "Don't say she won." He looked at her. "If this," he waved toward the viewer, "is the result of her winning," he shook his head. What had they done? What had they unleashed on the galaxy?

_In the gray, misty ether of the Force, she saw . . ._

Canderous basically toss Zared's lifeless body on one of the bunks in the Ebon Hawk's med-bay. "Well?"

"Well, what?" Atton asked as he found a cloth to clean the blood off her face.

"Well . . . did she do it? Is she whole? Is all right with the Force?"

"I don't know. The Force is quiet, that's the best I can tell you."

"There's going to be hell to pay for this, you know that right?"

Atton gave him a sharp look. "Ya think?" He waved that away with his hand. "I'm sure she had her reasons for sparing him."

"And the Gehenna? Her ship? What the hell does that mean?"

"I don't know, Canderous!" he snapped.

_And in the misty gray ether of the Force, she spoke._

_~~ Vita vis Vitea ~~_

"It means," she said slowly as she opened her eyes, "The ship is mine. I designed it and I had it built."

Atton stared at her questioningly until she lifted one brow. "Is there a problem, Jaq?"

"Maybe. Who are you?"

The words may have been bold, but there was the faintest trace of fear behind them that surprisingly fed his courage. "I'm Jaden, Darth Tyr and I am the Force." Taking a bracing breath she sat up. Her muscles ached and her heart pounded with the effort. "How is he?" She asked nodding toward the prone body of Zared.

"Alive, barely, but breathing," Canderous told her before narrowing his eyes and asking, "And why is that?"

Jaden flicked him a quick look. "The Jedi don't believe in killing their prisoners." Her voice was dark so the simple statement seemed sarcastic.

He shook his head and left the med-bay. Atton handed her some water. Her voice was rough and seemed to waver between dark and menacing to light and pleasant.

"Why is he alive?"

Jaden slid off the bunk and went to Zared's side. "I couldn't do it," she whispered as she brushed the hair from his brow. _He saved him._

Atton felt like the third wheel on a date as he watched Jaden bandage Zared's wounds. Wounds she had inflicted. "What are you going to do? The Jedi may not kill him, but the Republic won't let this go. They'll want their pound of flesh. Killing him may have been a small mercy."

"I'll do what I've always done," she said turning to him. "I'll fix it. Then, I'm going home to finish the rest."

Atton heard the anger at being questioned in her voice but also the resignation that _one_ more thing needed to be done. When the tips of her fingers sparked he knew it was probably wise to leave her alone. He held up both hands in a gesture of peace as he backed out of the room.

*************************

Jaden fought and fought hard to control the maelstrom of power swirling around her as the Ebon Hawk landed on the Sojourn.

_~~ Child, you must rest._ ~~

_~~ Not yet._ ~~ The voices of the Force continued to scream through her mind. She may have had her power back, but it continued to fight for a place within her. ~~ _I have to . . . I can't let them . . . I need to see . . . _~~ her thoughts scrambled and jumbled and left her aware of what needed to be done, but somehow paralyzed so she couldn't act. Maybe it was the proximity to two of the keys without the third being present to provide balance.

Jaden said nothing as Kwyn strode into the large bay, frustration and anger rolling from him in waves.

"Captain Rand, would you care to explain why the Gehenna," he stopped his tirade midsentence when he saw Zared being carried down the ramp followed by Jaden.

"Call a med-team," she told him in a far-off absent minded voice.

He gave her a sharp look and ignored her. "Atton, what the hell is going on?" He demanded.

"Zared is stable, for the moment," Atton said then stepped closer to Kwyn and lowered his voice, "but I don't think you want to know what will happen if," Atton pointed to Zared's lifeless body, "that changes."

Through the flurry of activity to get the med-teams and unloading the keys, Kwyn tried to get answers. It was pandemonium in the hangar bay and he felt he was quickly losing control. The little man calling himself Radha was nattering next to him about the history of the keys and asking after Isano while Atton and Canderous were seeing to Zared and Bastila and Master Lyret were having an intense conversation.

He made his way to Atton. "Why did the Gehenna jump to hyperspace?"

"Because," he began, looking around before lowering his voice, "Jaden told Captain Eps to go home."

"She . . ." Kwyn shook his head. "And they just gave you the keys and went home."

"No, we had to fight our way to the keys and him," Canderous said with a wave toward Radha. "Then we found Jaden and . . ." He stopped, frowned. What was he suppose to say.

"I didn't see a choice, Lavek," Atton told him. "I'm not sure there was one," he admitted after a moment's thought.

"Oh, I don't know, blowing that bloody black menace to space dust sounds good."

"It wasn't an option, General Lavek," Jaden snapped in a tone that had Kwyn stepping back his hand drifting toward the blaster at his hip. She took one step toward him. "Mine. I protect what is mine," and with that she followed the med-teams and Zared to the medical deck.

When the door snicked shut, Kwyn spun to Atton. "What the hell is going on?"

"They fought, she won."

"Atton," he growled.

"What do you want me to say?" He demanded as he waved toward the door. "When we reached the bridge it was over. Jaden was trying to save Zared's life. She demanded Bastila stabilize him then told Captain Eps to go home. Jaden knew about the bombs we planted and I wasn't going to countermand her. She's the embodiment of the Force for . . . Force sake! She knew and I know it's not much, Lavek, but I like my life!"

"They will both be dealt with," Master Lyret said as he and Bastila joined the group.

Canderous chuckled, "Good luck with that, Master Jedi."

*************************

When Zared woke, he woke to silence. It was an eerie sensation but one he was familiar with. Unfortunately. The breath he took was quiet, accepting and held a hint of understanding. _You should have saved me this punishment and just destroyed me._ He may not have been able to hear anything, but he could feel, and the soft warmth on the back of his hand had him turning his head and slowly opening his eyes. Beside him sat Visas, her smile slight, almost tentative, but her touch was reassuring.

"Don't try to move too much," she said in the soft voice he remembered so well.

Too well, he thought, as memories of the times they had shared flooded back. They had spent hours locked in her room on the Ebon Hawk, talking about nothing and everything and despite their shared darkness, when they had joined before the battle with Nihilous; some_thing_ seemed to settle in him and brought him a measure of peace in the chaos of the dark side.

He didn't want to face her now, didn't want to face that he had been cut off from the Force once more. _You weren't cut off from the Force!_ The memory of Jaden's snapped words, assaulted him. _Nope, _he thought_, I don't want to face that either._ Closing his eyes he emptied his mind and sought refuge in the silence.

*************************

"Dustil," Jaden said when she entered Carth's room. Aeden was resting quietly across the hall having come through his surgery. She had waited, alone, as the doctor treated him. No one had come into the room to see her, to see how she was doing and it was just as well. The swings in alignment were lessening, but when the dark came forward, she had to fight not to let loose its destructive power. The mere thought of being in Republic space and not attacking the Jedi was eating her alive. When she was certain Aeden would be okay, she asked Visas to sit with him then she gathered her own courage and came to see Carth.

He jumped from the chair next to his father's bed, studied her a moment, before he launched himself into her arms. "You're alive."

She wasn't sure what type of reception she would receive but this . . . generous show of affection took her by surprise.

"I'm sorry," he whispered beside her ear. "I should have trusted you . . ."

"Yes, you should have." He flinched at the sharp tone and stepped back. Jaden touched his shoulder, shook her head. "It's all right. You did what you felt was right. That's all anyone can do."

He nodded making a quick swipe under his eyes. Whatever emotion he kept under control was threatening to spill forward and embarrass him. "It's done?"

"For now," she said with a wisp of a smile. "How is he," she asked nodding toward the bed where Carth lay silent, pale and unmoving.

"He's . . .," Dustil ran his hands through his short hair. "Physically they say he's fine but," he turned to her. "He won't wake up. It's like," he shrugged, "he's not here."

Jaden focused on the distance before answering. "He's here," she told him feeling the voice, quiet and pensive around her. "Can I have some time with him?"

"I . . ."

_Oh to hell with this whiney brat!_ Jaden swallowed back the surge of darkness. "Go eat, get some rest," she said quickly with a casual touch of his shoulder. There was a flash of question in his eyes before the mind trick took effect.

"I'll go eat and get some rest."

When he left the room, Jaden let her shoulders slump. She sealed the door with the Force before she crawled on the bed beside Carth; laid her head on his shoulder her hand over his heart and dropped into oblivion.

*************************

_Is it true? Did she spare the Exiles life? Why would she do that? The Republic will punish him for destroying the fleet. Then who destroyed the Sith? She did. No, she destroyed both. There must be an accounting, punishment for both their actions. You presume to pass judgment on the one who embodies the Force. The myth, the legend, the light, the dark, the lie and the truth. There must be retribution for their actions. The Jedi don't believe in killing their prisoners. The Republic will punish them. Has anyone asked why she spared them? Them? The Exile. The Admiral._

Jaden felt the weight of the questions on her chest sink ever heavier, choking her until at last she opened her eyes and sat up, as if awakening from a nightmare. The questions continued to weave themselves around her as she scrubbed her hands over her face.

"So what happened?"

She turned quickly to find Carth, dressed in loose clothing, sitting in the sleep chair across from the bed. He looked a little worse for wear but he was alive, handsome and watching her with a distrust that, surprisingly, warmed her heart.

_You learned of things you never should have._ "It's over," she told him, inwardly cringing when she saw his brows rise at the deepness of her voice. Her voice, blended once again with the dark side. "It's done. It's over, I won – "

Carth raised his hand and a glass few into it from beside the bed.

She sighed, "You've always been a Force Sensitive, Onasi. If you weren't I wouldn't have been able to. . ." she trailed off.

"Use me?" He asked setting the glass aside and walking to the bed. He felt the change in her. In fact, it's what awakened him almost a day ago. Unimaginable power swirled and crawled around her. Her green eyes were now darker, her skin more golden.

"Whatever," she mumbled resigned to the fact that walls with razor sharp spikes surrounded him. The light in her hurt that all she had done to try to heal him seemed gone. The dark made her want to roll her eyes and call him pathetic.

Carth reached out and tipped her chin up, forcing her to look at him. "What happened?"

All of a sudden it seemed to overwhelm her. Her own fears rushed up to choke her. The anger any of this ever had to happen made her want to lash out in his defense. And the reason she had acted as she had, clarified and eased the sickness in her gut she carried since . . . "I thought you were dead," she blurted out as a tear spilled down her cheek. "I had nothing to hold on to and I wanted to punish whatever was close. I lost control but when I heard the voice, your voice . . . by then it was too late."

He said nothing as Jaden told him what happened, that while Zared tried to destroy the keys as the power she gave Carth was being returned the darkness was too much and overwhelmed them.

"It's the only explanation. The masters wouldn't interfere, not in this at least," she hastily added when he quirked a brow.

"At the time I was so angry with Aeden, I didn't try to . . . moderate the return of my dark side as I had before. I took it, no I ripped it from him with gleeful pleasure, to punish him – to show him how weak and insignificant he really is – I beat the crap out of him and to show my true power I destroyed both fleets." The eyes she shifted to him were dark and unapologetic. "Balance Admiral, above all else." Jaden sucked in a short breath and closed her eyes. _Okay, maybe not entirely in control yet._ But she went on.

"I was close to ending it, ending him, and then I heard your voice. When the masters tried to bargain with your life I realized what I had done, what had happened and I refused. This whole fracking mess has gone on long enough."

"So Zared's alive?"

She nodded. "Across the hall." Then she told him the rest. About Atton and the others storming the bridge, forcing Bastila to heal Zared and letting the Gehenna go.

Carth paced the small room, ruminating on what needed to be done next. Jaden could feel his anger and hear the voice's resignation about the options available to him.

When he started toward the door, Jaden waved a few fingers and unsealed it.

When it opened, he stopped but didn't turn before telling her, "There are things I need to say to you. Things I need to tell you," he said thinking of his vision of Morgana, how she told him the situation wasn't all he seemed to believe. "But I can't right now," he added with a frown of disappointment.

Jaden nodded, accepting his angry confusion.

"You've put me in a difficult position."


	52. Chapter 51

When he thought about it, it was quite diabolical as punishments went. Apparently it wasn't enough that Jaden had beaten him to a bloody pulp, so badly that it took Aeden five minutes to assess the damage and find a spot on his body that wasn't throbbing in pain. It took another five minutes to maneuver to his left side to lie in the position that wasn't throbbing in pain.

His back was to the door but it couldn't be helped. He'd learned early in his Jedi training that he needed to protect his back and it was easier then because he had the benefit of the Force to read what was around him. When he was exiled and cut off from the Force, it became a hard and fast rule, one he never broke. Maybe this was another prong of the punishment, not being able to protect himself. And did that really matter? His time would be cut dramatically short if the Jedi Council and Republic had anything to say about it.

Aeden sighed to himself as he kept his eyes closed and breathing slow and steady. It wasn't the pain and discomfort, or the threat of a firing squad that was diabolical. No, that distinction belonged to the chatty, overly saccharin nurse that seemed to flitter in and out of his room keeping up a running commentary on his health and progress in healing. He may have once again been in the silent world of his exile, but he knew how he felt. The Kolto took the sharpest edge off the razors pain. Visas, bless her heart, wasn't a strong Force healer and she tried, but Aeden didn't want to speak with anyone so never told her that her efforts were wasted on him since he couldn't feel – and wasn't connected to – the Force.

" . . . Just between you and me, I don't know why they have a guard on your room. It's obvious you're not going anywhere and I get the distinct impression that even if you tried . . . well there's no reason to being up the unpleasant . . ."

_So, no one told you I tried to take over the galaxy? I was the big bad dark lord of the Sith that threatened everything good and wonderful about the Republic._

" . . . I know the one Jedi, Atton Rand, although that woman Jaden, who terrifies me by the way, calls him Jaq, has kept the other Jedi away from you . . ."

_She should terrify you. She IS the big bad dark lord of the Sith and apparently the Jedi as well._ He tuned out the chattering girl as she tucked and re-tucked the sheets around him. _This is just like that stupid essay I wrote when I was 16 and the council called me on it. Only this time it won't be the council to pass judgment, it's going to be the Republic._

". . . Even Admiral Onasi has ordered all personnel away from you except for the med team of course. We are so glad he's okay and recovered. It was touch and go there for awhile but when Jaden went into his room and sealed the door, well that was as close to panic as I've seen General Lavek ever come. Just between you and me, I thought he was going to order one of the men to bring a laser cannon and blast the door open. It was the Admiral's son that convinced him to leave them alone. Well that and the fact that Dustil – who's just as cute as his father, is handsome – proved a cannon wouldn't work. I mean why should it? Dustil tried to open the door with his light saber thingy, and it practically bent the blade. Do they have blades; is that what you call the light part?"

Aeden's head began to pound a sharp beat.

"Oh listen to me going on about the Jedi and their light sabers, like I know anything about all the mumbo-jumbo stuff . . ."

Once again he had the thought, _does she know who I am?_ His headache was spiking into dangerous territory and laying here hour after hour thinking about his punishment and having to listen to this stupid simpering twit . . .

His hand snaked out, viper quick and grabbed the girl's wrist. When he opened his eyes, she startled back, surprised by the pure blue and the depth of annoyance she saw in them.

"Get. Jaden. Now!"

* * *

Carth needed answers but pacing his quarters wasn't going to help him find them. He knew he should ask Jaden but he just couldn't bring himself to speak with her yet. He would reach the small kitchen in his quarters and his anger with her would peak. The Republic fleet had been decimated by her hand, the Senate was beside itself in their outrage and disbelief. When he reached the window at the opposite end of his living quarters all he could think about was that he was alive, Zared – although still among the living – was no longer a threat to the Republic and the Sith had been vanquished. He avoided his bedroom at all cost, not even wanting his thoughts to travel down a personal path.

When he had woken in the med bay with Jaden curled beside him, relief had flooded through him. She was alive. They were both alive. The comfort he took from that thought quickly vanished when he realized he could still use the Force and felt the shifts between darkness and light from her. The situation was bad, he sensed that, and he didn't really need to hear her side of the story to know what happened.

Despite his efforts to maintain a professional perspective he realized he missed her even though they were on the same ship, saw each other every day, he missed Jaden; _his_ Jaden, not the Jaden that now belonged, once again, to the galaxy and its Force users.

The Jaden that spent more time in the med-bay than anywhere else. Carth knew she was giving him time to come to grips with what he learned but damn it . . . putting aside the personal, he left his quarters in search of his answers.

He found Radha in the cantina, sitting in the corner watching the soldiers with curiosity. When Carth sat across from him he didn't acknowledge him except to say, "If this was the Gehenna, the men would be brawling and boasting about their latest conquest. Or that of their emperor."

"He's not their emperor anymore, he never was. Did he know he was also the embodiment of the Force?"

Radha's eyes widened and a faint smile creased his lips as he turned his attention to Carth. "I wondered how long it would take for you to seek me out. No, I don't believe he ever knew or figured it out. At least not until the end. Milady was his blind spot," he said quietly then chuckled when Carth frowned. "She is the one, the embodiment of the Force." At Carth's nod he added, "And I see it is difficult for you to accept that she is also the leader of the True Sith, our Empress."

"Your . . . Empress destroyed my fleet," he snapped.

"She destroyed her own as well," Radha shot back in a lowered voice. "What is it you are looking for Admiral? Evidence of a crime so the Republic can try to punish her for protecting what is hers from what is hers?"

Carth sat back and drained part of the glass of Corellian Ale at his elbow. _Well hell,_ he thought, _nothing like putting a fine point on a murky idea_. "No. I'm trying to figure out why Zared didn't go to Coruscant when he had Jaden and two of the keys. The fleet was at Telos so there was nothing to really stand in his way of destroying the Jedi temple and getting the remaining key."

Radha studied him a moment before tipping his head to the side. "Curious that you concern yourself with that rather than be glad the home world of the Republic goes unscathed."

"I fought beside _General_ Zared in the Mandalorian wars. I know his thinking, how he strategizes a battle."

"Yet he has not been himself of late, has he." Radha drained his glass of brandy and motioned for another. "Admiral, Jaden sent the key to the Jedi masters knowing they would defend it with their lives. Zared understood this as well so there was no reason to go the temple on Coruscant; at least not until the Republic fleet had been destroyed."

"So what, as a way to punish Jaden he would make her watch while he broke his promise not to destroy the Sojourn and everyone on it?"

"You in particular, but that's beside the point. The dark side, regardless of the power it or its users wield, is like a child. When it doesn't get its way, it throws a tantrum. You know all this, so are you trying to justify what she did, or what Zared has done."

Carth pinched the bridge of his nose hoping to hold back the headache that threatened to be a doozy. "What happened?"

"Jaden used her most powerful weapon, I suppose, her knowledge. She goaded him, drew first blood so to speak by dropping whatever shield she had against that much dark side power. I think the simplicity of her action surprised him. Zared didn't believe she was that powerful to begin with, powerful enough to manipulate the dark side – his dark side - into attacking him by using the light side key." Radha watched him closely as Carth frowned and rubbed his temple.

"It was shortly after that that Zared asked about the legend of the keys and the six that buried them. It was the first time he had clearly associated you and the others with the keys. Shortly after that I came to realize what some of the artifacts, tablets, really meant. Of the six there are three, of the three, there is one."

"Jaden."

"I won't pretend to know what happened between you two, but as I told her, I am old not feeble and still have some of my faculties," he said with a faint smile. "I felt the shift in the Force, the power swirling around was quite remarkable. It was shortly after that had begun that Zared stormed back into the conference room and attacked the orb atop the light side key."

"She was with me, in the Force. I was returning the rest of the power she'd given me when she restored my life." Carth scrubbed his hands over his face. "Zared knew she would be most vulnerable then. Or the dark masters told him," he said on a sigh.

"Most likely, yes. When I reached her, she was in a deep . . . trance I guess you would say, almost like she wasn't there. From what you just told me it explains why I had to tell her what was happening. I'll assume you've been told the rest." When Carth nodded, he added, "Admiral, what are you going to do?"

* * *

_Home. _Home, home, home, home, home. Jaden took a large, exaggerated step over the line that had kept her from the Valley of the Jedi.

"Hee, hee, hee," she giggled with a huge grin as she did a quick hip-shake boogie before taking two quick steps, jumping forward before planting her feet to surf about fifty yards before she leaped, did a quick flip and stuck the landing with a precision that would have pleased even the pickiest of judges'.

Then she skipped.

All the way to the massive doors of the temple. When they didn't open she slammed her fists to her hips and frowned. It wasn't unexpected but it was disappointing.

_~~ I was told I left the water running, ~~_ she mumbled thinking of what Carth told her when she had sent him here to fulfill her promise to Morgana.

_~~ Child. ~~_

"Yeah, yeah," she mumbled as she crossed her ankles and sat down in the dirt with her back against the doors.

This is what she needed, maybe more than the rest and meditation. Sure, she couldn't get in the temple, but she could feel the energy that warmed the stones seep into her bones.

_~~ Child, what are you going to do? ~~_

_~~ About what? ~~_

_~~ The son of Isano. ~~_

_~~ Which one? The son of Isano or the son of the son of Isano. ~~_ Thinking on it, she decided it sounded like a bad horror movie title, and grinned.

_~~ Do not get smart with us! ~~_ The dark masters snapped.

Jaden shook her head. _~~ I'll handle it. ~~_

_~~ How? His voice will be heard in the Republic Senate. You do not rule there as you do the True Sith. ~~_

_~~ Would it kill you to have some trust? ~~_

_~~ When it comes to you? Yes. ~~_

Jaden frowned.

_~~ Stop. Both of you, ~~_ the light masters admonished. _~~ Child, we are concerned. We warned you about becoming attached to the others when you left. We fear your feelings for them may interfere with what must happen to restore balance. ~~_

_~~ I know what needs to be done. ~~_

_~~ Do you? If you truly understood, the usurper Zared wouldn't be alive. ~~_

_~~ And you just can't stand that, can you. ~~_ Jaden sighed. _~~ It served no purpose to destroy Aeden other than to satisfy your . . . pissiness that you couldn't control him either. ~~_

_~~ Child - ~~_

_~~ I don't want to argue, ~~_ she sighed. _~~ I came here to gain control of the swings in my alignment, not discuss the short comings of the dark side - ~~_

_~~ Careful, little girl. Do not forget you are descended from those that buried the dark side key. ~~_

Jaden waved the interruption away. _~~ I need to return, ~~_ she told them as she saw Kwyn Lavek approach her quarters through the Force. _~~ Trust me. I know what I'm doing. ~~_

* * *

Jaden shook off the slight dizziness she always felt when going in and out of the Force as she stood and went to open the door.

"I need to know why," Kwyn stated without preamble before he nudged her aside and entered her quarters.

With a raised brow she turned to him. "Being awfully brave, General Lavek, aren't you?"

"I don't care who or what you are. I don't care if you smite me down in a hail of lightning. I want an answer. I want to know why Visas, Atton, and Canderous are okay with this. I want to know why Master's Lyret and Shan –"

"Bastila's no longer a Jedi Master," she interrupted, but then held up a hand when he narrowed his eyes.

"- Why they're huddled in the conference room on a holo with the rest of the Jedi Council. I want to know what I'm supposed to tell the families of the men you . . . obliterated!"

_It's a good thing I went home,_ she thought as she felt the dark side surge forward at being questioned. "Sit down, Kwyn."

"Answer me!"

She cocked a hip and raised a brow. "Visas and Atton are descendents of the six whom buried the keys just like Carth, Dustil, Aeden and I. Call it innate understanding of the stakes if balance isn't restored to the Force.

"Canderous? He's a Mandalorian. Besides owning me his life, bloodshed is like breathing for him.

"As for the Jedi, well I imagine they are trying to figure out what to do. Too bad for them they're all idiots and assholes that don't yet realize they're wasting their time because they have no say in the matter."

Jaden raised her hand and used the Force to shove him into a chair. "I thought Carth was dead, Kwyn, and if I hadn't heard his voice I was coming after you and the Sojourn next for letting him say the words." She nodded slowly when she saw comprehension dawn in his eyes. "That's right. Zared may have promised not to destroy the Sojourn. Me? Flick of the wrist and it was history." She took a deep breath and sat opposite of him.

"You'll get no explanation because as the embodiment of the Force I don't do explanations," she narrowed her eyes, "ever." After a short breath she went on. "You're a good man, Kwyn; a good friend and compassionate commander. Half of me despise men like you. Your compassion makes you weak and the weak don't deserve to lead." Jaden reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. "You're not the only one that lost good men today," she whispered just before she allowed him to see what she carried.

The crushing weight of grief and misery stole his breath and had him dropping his shoulder in an effort to avoid her touch, but Jaden wouldn't be denied. Cries of anguish echoed around him, light or dark, Republic or Sith, indistinguishable in their shared suffering at the loss of loved ones. He saw the tear streaked faces of wives and mothers, the anger and hatred of husbands and fathers as they grappled with the loss. And he felt Jaden's amusement that she had caused so much suffering and he felt her own torment that she couldn't help heal the pain those left behind now carried.

"You're just going to have to trust that the part of me that admires your compassion will take care of the lives that were lost."

* * *

Jaden followed the young nurse down the corridor of the med-bay. Aeden had been isolated from the rest of the patients and had a guard on his door. The young girl had been keeping Jaden updated on his condition and suspected it was the nurse's way of staying close to him. Carth had ordered his isolation so Aeden didn't draw too much attention. Besides the Republic, she knew Master Lyret had been in contact with the Jedi Council. It was nothing she didn't expect and like she told Kwyn, the council would meditate on a course of action.

_Yeah, yeah, you do that, you gutless wonders,_ she thought of the council.

When the door slid open Jaden saw Zared standing by the bed, his shirtless back to her. The pants he'd pulled on sat at his hips unfastened as his harsh labored breathing sounded in the quiet room. Scars she had caused through lightning and ripping her power away from him appeared across his back. His birthmark, the opposite of hers was an ugly throbbing welt.

_He deserved it, all of it and more for what he did to you, what he took from you._

Jaden ignored her own dark voice. What had been was irrelevant at the moment as she acknowledged she couldn't bear to see him hurt.

_~~ You cannot interfere, child. ~~_

Jaden ignored her master's blended voices but couldn't ignore the stiffening of Aeden's muscles the moment he realized she was there. He slowly turned his head, his blue eyes pinning her to the spot where she stood. She wasn't certain what she had expected to see. Anger certainly, defiance maybe, hatred probably but his eyes held all and none of those emotions or thoughts. His eyes, the beautiful blue that had held laughter, could seduce with just a look, or terrorize with their coldness were drained. In that moment she understood what true weariness was and it surprised her to feel uncomfortable at the thought.

Carefully, he picked up the shirt at the foot of the bed and held it up. "You owe me a shirt," he said, his voice quiet and rough from disuse. The garment was in tatters, char marks along the ragged edges of rips and tears in the material and on the cuffs.

Saying nothing, she watched as he slowly and methodically made his way around the foot of the bed, using the railing for support. When he faced her, he backed up, placed a hand on his diaphragm and took a slow painful breath. Letting it out slowly, he placed both hands on the bed and sat – or more likely – let himself fall to his butt. The normally simple act seemed to exhaust him.

"Have you come to gloat?"

"No."

"Finish what you started."

"No."

"You know, you told me I didn't understand the dark side –"

"Stop."

"- Maybe you were right, but then I never got to the part where you ground your enemy under your boot heel –"

"Stop it."

"- To the razor's edge of death only to deny him that luxury –"

"Shut up."

"- So you could turn him over to the other side and watch from the sidelines as they –"

"Damn it, Aeden."

"- Drop him down some deep pit to rot in his own filth!"

She was to him in two strides, her hands framing his face. "Shut the hell up," she began in a harsh whisper as she rested her forehead against his. "I couldn't do it, you bastard! They told me one of you held my heart and the other held my soul and I would have to choose, to sacrifice one of you. I can't and I won't. You saved him, Aeden and in doing so you saved me."

"Wow, aren't I the magnanimous bastard."

"I couldn't do it," she whispered one more time as she took a quiet breath reached up to brush his black hair from his eyes.

She shook her head. "It may seem like I can mete out punishments, but I can't."

"Not your job?"

There was so much cynicism in his tone it had her snapping out, "I'm about to be out of a job!"

It was almost childlike, the way they glared at each other until something lifted in her when she saw him struggle against the grin. It wasn't sneaky or malicious, just a bit of ridiculous humor sliding under his shield of self-protection.

"I guess that's why you have the Jedi council, huh? They do the work of punishing those that break the rules." The humor faded from his eyes to be replaced by uncertainty. "So now what? Prison? Exile again? They won't let this go. I've murdered thousands, destroyed shipyards – "

"And routed several enclaves of Sith."

"Darling, stupid isn't a good look for you." The familiar phrase was out before he realized it.

They watched each other for a few moments as memories of other times he told her those exact words chased each other through their thoughts. Then they grinned simultaneously and the shift in Jaden was profound.

Aeden felt it too, and the breath he expelled released the tension in his shoulders and around his heart.

"Jaden," he began not quite able to get his mind around the fact he was alive. He should be dead. He knew that, yet here he was, sitting on a bed onboard the most powerful of the Republic's warships.

"For years," she told him, "I blamed you. I blamed you for ripping away a part of me, creating the wound in the Force, in me, at Malachor V. Everything that happened after that . . . I blamed you for that as well because I couldn't stop it. You severed the link to my strength and then the dark masters took advantage of that.

"Standing in the rotunda," she went on as she wandered the room, "in the temple on the Sith home world, when you sent Revan after Carth, I realized that it wasn't your fault.

"You didn't know how strong the Mass Shadow Generator was, you didn't know how strong your connection to the Force truly was, you didn't know how all those lives lost would overwhelm you. You just didn't know."

"But you did," he said taking her hand when she wandered close enough to the bed to snag. He wasn't going to question the need to touch her, to have some connection between them.

"No, I didn't," she whispered the admission. "That's just it. I knew the history and that I was the embodiment of the Force and what _I_ was supposed to do. Maybe it was my own arrogance, my unassailable belief in the power of the dark side that kept me from going further into the archives and realizing there was three of us. The masters kept that from me. I understand why now. They figured, since I was the one chosen, I didn't need to know about you or - ," _Oops,_ she thought. When his eyes narrowed she silently added _too much information_

"Excuse me? Three of us? There are three embodiers?"

"No. There are three _potential_ embodiers - a descendent if you will - one for each of the keys. It's part of the accords that were written millennia ago. One leaned to the light, the other toward darkness and the third was neutral." He didn't need to say anything to make her want to squirm. "Light, you leaned to the light."

"And you . . ."

"His name was Naxel," she blurted out as he continued to watch her. Sith'ari or Jedi, it didn't matter. Jaden realized why he was powerful and had others following him to war. It was those damnable blue eyes that had you saying things you shouldn't. "I learned of his existence when I learned there were three of us." She shrugged as if it was nothing. "He died . . . painfully," she told him in a soft, dark voice as the memory brought a smile to her lips. She blinked it back and brought herself back to neutral alignment.

"None of it matters, Aeden. The point is, although I helped the Zabrak create it to help Revan defeat the Mandalorians and the Jedi, I didn't know how powerful the Mass Shadow Generator was. Its energy, along with the strength of the Force on Malachor V, overwhelmed us both and when you severed your link – "

"You mean when I was cut off – "

"To cut someone off from the Force is to kill them, to cut them off you must disconnect them from the Midiclorians that reside in their cells and since the Midiclorians are a microscopic life form that reside in all living things, then you have to kill them. Then, someone is truly cut off from the Force. Dead, over and done with, non-nutritious worm food, not even a wisp of memory since memories are living breathing things in the Force. Your connection was," she waved her hand, "short-circuited and as it searched for a link it drained other's of their connection to the Force."

"Vrook and the other masters called it a wound in the Force," he said with a wince as he carefully tried to lie on the bed, she reached through the Force, found his pain and eased it.

She nodded, "Aeden, like I said, I knew the pieces of the puzzle but I didn't realize how they all fit together until it was too late. By then, the dark masters had manipulated Kreia into turning you to their side. They used you to advance their agenda and I could do nothing to stop them."

He traced his thumb over her hand. "Why do I feel like I should apologize?"

"'Cuz you like me . . . cupcake."

He smiled but it held a hint of sadness, as if he knew and was resigned to his fate. "I'm sure Admiral Onasi and the Republic would love a piece of me."

She thought of Carth, "You're right, they would. Carth will understand – it may take a bit of persuasion – but I think he's already coming to it on his own." She hoped as Aeden snorted. "The council will have no choice in the matter." She tipped her head. "Are you going to question this as you questioned so many things in the past?"

"Is that why you were chosen and I wasn't? I question everything?"

"No. Your destiny lies along a different path." When she started to rise she found his grip tighten and tug her back to his side.

"So which one was it?"

Jaden smiled, leaned in to kiss him lightly before resting her head against his. "Funny thing about the heart and soul; sometimes they're so intertwined you don't know where one starts and the other ends." _Which one saved the other in an effort to destroy her._

* * *

Jaden paced the corridor outside Carth's quarters trying to gather the courage to knock on the door. Ironic, considering her dark side was ready to kick the door in, literally and make him talk to her. They would be arriving at Coruscant in two days and she was tired of being shut out. Even the voice had found a way to silence itself from her. Yes, he could still use the Force, she just never figured he find a way to block her. Oh who was she kidding? She didn't want to know what he was thinking or feeling. It terrified her so she made no effort to find the voice in the Force. Which, she thought shaking her head, was why she was still pacing the corridor instead of kicking the door in. _You could open the door yourself . . ._

With that childish thought she marched to the panel and rang the bell. It took precious moments and she could feel the darkness edge its way forward with impatience. Blowing out a deep breath she calmed herself. "Open the damn door Onasi; I know your standing on the other side!" _Okay, so much for balance._

When it slid open he stood in the opening effectively creating a barrier in front of her.

"We need to talk," she told him as relief, fear and warmth skittered along her spine. He was so damn handsome. And so damn distant.

"Or what? You mind trick me into believing your version of the truth?" He narrowed his eyes, "Make me forget altogether?"

Her eyes darkened and her fingertips itched with power ready to be unleashed. "No." She turned to leave.

"Wait," he said with a gusty sigh before he stepped back to allow her entrance.

Jaden declined his offer of a drink and waited for him to settle on the couch. "Lay it on me."

The . . . resignation in his tone tore at her heart. Anger she could have met with anger, but this utter lack of caring . . . "Are you waiting for some excuse?"

He shrugged. "Excuse, explanation, apology. Let's have it."

Jaden chuckled and shook her head. "You're doomed to disappointment, Onasi."

"What, no I'm sorry you had to see that. I'm sorry you saw me start the Mandalorian war that lead to Revan's involvement and your part in her fall to the dark side that lead to Saul . . ."

"That's enough!" She snapped. "I am sorry you saw all that and I won't apologize for my part in it, but before you go on with your version of events perhaps you should know that it was Mandalore the Ultimate who came to me. He wanted the war against the Republic.

"It was Revan who came to me seeking knowledge of the dark arts because the Jedi couldn't satisfy her need to learn all there was to know."

"Oh frack that! You expect me to believe you had nothing to do with any of it?"

"Of course not, but I never set out to intentionally start a war, or make her fall, or tell Saul Karath to kill your wife and take your son. You'll remember Zared had already taken part of me by that time," she sneered.

"So that makes it okay?"

His outrage was so powerful; she felt she could taste it. "Of course not." Jaden turned away from him and took a deep breath. "You saw only one side of the choice. You saw only the lure, the seduction of the power of the dark side.

"What you didn't see," she turned back to him, "is the reward and accomplishment that comes from doing what you believe is right.

"There is a choice," Jaden said, her voice turning seductive and husky as she held out one hand, a sphere of power floating above her palm, its dark, glossy finish hypnotizing in its enticement. "Will it be instant, a rush of pleasure that leaves you craving more and more until you will do almost anything to get it, keep it, horde it as if it was the most vital thing in your life."

Her words were hypnotic and it didn't take much to weave an enticing spell around him. Carth stood, walked to her and found himself, almost as if in a trace, reaching for the black sphere of power.

As quick as she had conjured it, it was gone and she held out her other hand. In it was a small opaque pebble, no, a seed.

"Or do you choose the path that while just as powerful, requires hard work and sometimes difficult decisions to grow and reap the rewards at a future time. A power that can be sustained through dedication to a greater goal."

Jaden closed her hand and stepped away from him. "I may offer the power, keep it in balance, but I don't make the decision or choices on how it's used." She shrugged. "That's left for the sentient beings."

Silence stretched for a few moments before Carth shook his head. "What a load of Bantha shit."

"Excuse me?" she asked her voice and eyes darkening.

"Oh please," he rolled his eyes. "I catch the embodier of the Force in a lie and you go all Darth Jaden on me."

"Tyr! It's Darth Tyr."

As he watched her, part of his conversation with Morgana threaded through his thoughts. _"You saw actions, Carth, not the struggle behind them; her struggle to temper the whims of her dark masters. You didn't see her fear behind the actions, the compassion for those that were injured that she couldn't help."_

"It's not just the sentient beings of the galaxy that use the power you offer, the Force for their own purposes. They may make the initial choice, but in order to keep the balance you preach about, you have to offset what they do."

"What are you talking about," she snapped, nervous about what he would say next.

"You're right, I saw what you did, I saw that dark side of you, those choices that others had made," he stepped forward forcing her back. "I also saw your eyes," and he had he remembered now, "I saw your fear, the devastation in them as your power, what I held was returned to you. You didn't want to take it back because you were afraid of how I would react."

"I didn't want it because you could die, you idiot!"

"But I didn't," he said continuing his calm journey forward, backing her to a wall. "I remember that moment, the flash in your eyes before I lost consciousness."

When her shoulders bumped the wall she swallowed hard and tried to move away, but he brought his arms up and caged her in. Seeing the wariness come into her eyes was heady stuff. Lowly Carth Onasi was making the most powerful . . . being nervous.

"You were afraid I would go to my death thinking the worst of you. After everything _you_ have done; returning Dustil, letting me see Morgana one last time, watching over the voice, watching over me."

But the pall of all the death and destruction she had caused, now and in the past, hung between them.

Jaden sniffed and ran her thumb over the dent in his chin. "It breaks my heart; the pain I see in your eyes. How do I fix this?"

Carth kissed her brow and stepped back. "You can't."


	53. Chapter 52

_A/: A long time, I know, but with a new job, and other things to work through, Healing the Force fell by the wayside. Now that things seem to be back on track, I can continue this and my other series Journal of Exile. Thanks for your patience. Now, where did I leave off? Yeah, Jaden has confronted Zared and reclaimed her dark side power from him. She pissed off Carth by destroying a good chunk of the Republic fleet in the process and is now struggling to integrate her light and dark sides without the help of the Valley of the Jedi and her masters._

It was something Jaden missed doing and wondered why she had stopped. Then again, she had been running around the galaxy but there was something soothing about feeling the rhythmic vibration up her legs as her feet hit the sidewalk at a quick and steady pace.

The masters never understood her need to get out and "commune with nature" as the dark ones would sneer. She was already connected to every living thing, why did she feel she had to actually interact with the physical manifestations. _Because I can,_ she thought mentally sticking out her tongue.

Every person she passed, she touched in one way or another; light or dark, but when she ran, as she was through the streets of Galactic City, she touched no one, felt nothing, and rejoiced that she could empty her mind and think of nothing. Or in this case . . .

Carth was pissed at her for destroying the Republic fleet.

Aeden was pissed at her for not destroying him.

_Well tough shit, boys_, she thought. Jaden wasn't done with either of them and they would just have to deal. As would the others. Her time was running short and as she turned a corner - slamming up against the light side of the Jedi Temple - she decided Dustil was as good a place to start as any since he was standing in one of the many parks, on the corner, looking up at the bastion of light side goodness. "If you keep doing that," she began in breathy pants as she leaned over, her hands on her hips, "You're either going to get a crick in your neck or attract attention to yourself."

Dustil jumped, turned to her and jumped again.

"Problem?"

He sighed and shook his head. "Your eyes are reddish-yellow."

Relief flooded though her. Every since she let it slip that the only reason he was alive was because she had killed the third potential embodier, she was afraid he was pissed at her too. One Onasi was plenty. Jaden looked over her shoulder at the temple. "Proximity."

"But," he looked at the temple then back to her. "I thought you were . . ."

"Whole? I am." _For the most part._ "But it's still ground zero for the Jedi," Her lip curled. "The light side."

Dustil gave her a curious but laced with panic look as he cautiously stepped back.

"I'm still adjusting to having my dark side back. The swings in alignment are less frequent but just as strong." She reached out, touched his shoulder and pointed to a bench. "You look like you have something on your mind."

"What do you see?" Dustil asked after sitting quietly for a few minutes.

"Um, building, temple, speeder, person, person, person, autobus – "

"No. As the Force," he clarified in a soft voice.

"Building, Temple," she sneered, "speeder, light, light, neutral, Jedi, Jedi, Jedi," she paused and narrowed her eyes. "Sith," she hissed.

"Are you okay?"

"I will be," Jaden told him as she rubbed her temple. It was still difficult to put her protective barriers back in place.

"That hurt you," he said. The simple statement also contained a question.

She ignored it. "How I feel aside, something is obviously bothering you."

"I had a vision." It took a poke in the arm to get him to continue. He wasn't entirely sure he should tell her what he saw, but he went on. "It was empty," he said gesturing to the temple. "Huge, empty and tainted, no, drenched in the dark side."

Jaden heard the uncertainty and panic in his voice. Closing her eyes she tapped into his connection to the Force, to her. "The future."

"I got that much. The temple was massive."

"You didn't see a tall kid with kind of curly long hair and a cloak did you? Whiney?"

"Huh?"

Jaden shrugged off the connection. She knew exactly what he saw. "The temple will be empty several times in the future because the Jedi refuse to act quickly. You know, patch the dam before it breaks."

"Why?"

"Excuse me?"

"What? No, that's not what I meant. Darkness, its strength rivaling yours . . . it was –", he stopped speaking unable to find the right words.

Sensing his concern, she told him, "What you saw is about 3,900 years in the future. You won't make it that long." Dustil gave her an exasperated looked."Come on," she said standing. "I stay here much longer; I will start picking off Jedi."

As they walked away, the hot, needle pokes of the light side lessened. She knew she would have to cross the threshold of the Jedi Temple soon. After all, the way home – permanently – was in the center of the Room of a Thousand Fountains.

"Why does what you saw disturb you?" she asked as they made their way toward the Senate building and the apartment where she was staying.

He shrugged. "I've never had a vision like that before."

"Don't you mean ever," she corrected. When his shoulders hunched at her careless tone she sighed. "You weren't meant to see it."

"I figured that much out," he snapped. "So why did I?"

"You know," she began with narrowed eyes, "I don't need two Onasis' pissed at me. Your father is more than enough." Jaden saw so much of Carth in Dustil's mutinous stubborn chin she wanted to laugh. "Alright," she sighed with a faint grin. "You weren't supposed to see that – or anything else for that matter - because you're not supposed to be a Jedi." Panic began creeping back into his eyes. "Or a Sith."

Frowning, he asked, "What do you mean?"

"Look, despite what that idiot Uthar told you, you really kind of sucked as a Sith."

Dustil's frown deepened and he mumbled something she chose to ignore.

"Look, you only joined them because you were angry with your father. You thought he had abandoned you."

"And the Jedi?"

"Besides the fact they, the council, will never let you become one, you're a descendent of those that buried the keys. It's not allowed, in agreement with the original accords."

"But Dad – "

"Never officially joined the order and the light masters would have stepped in and stopped him because he held a part of me."

"But you're a Jedi!"

"No, I'm _THE_ Jedi. The Grand Master, a Jedi Lord. There won't be another one for oh 3,900 years." Her sarcasm wasn't lost on him; she could see him recognize that his vision and her statement were intertwined. "And he'll be short and green."

Dustil held the door to the building open. "What about the others? Atton, Visas," he paused. "General Zared."

"Atton was a Sith Assassin because all he had known growing up was hatred. When he learned of his tie to the Force he rejected it and killed the messenger. Visas did what she needed in order to survive. When she joined Zared, although dark as he was, she didn't follow him after he defeated Kreia because she loved him. The Sith, like the Jedi, find love distracting and useful. It's an emotion that can be powerful and easy to manipulate." Jaden stopped abruptly, her foot poised above a small step that led to the elevator lobby.

_~~ Do you see now, Child, why we cautioned you on your feelings for the Admiral? ~~_

"Jaden?"

She shook herself free of her thoughts. "What was I saying?" She asked hoping Dustil wouldn't ask if she had used Carth all along. Had she?

"You were talking about Visas."

"Yeah. Anyway, in order to keep her feelings, she knew she had to reject what Zared stood for and return to her home, a neutral world that would allow her to heal." She avoided Dustil's gaze. "As for Zared," Jaden shrugged, "He was a powerful Jedi, lived and breathed it, just as he did being the Sith'ari', but he questioned the wisdom of both philosophies." She stopped in front of her apartment door. "Aeden lacked the blind devotion to their beliefs. For that he was always a step apart."

"Then why did he follow Revan to war?"

_Because he thought it would fix what was wrong with him._ "At the time, he believed it was the right thing to do. He walked away from his seat on the council, put his faith in . . . me." _And I let him down._ "He hadn't realized that Revan had already begun her fall to the dark side and had only asked because of his ability to get others to follow him."

Dustil shook his head, but when he went to ask the logical follow-up question Jaden turned to the door and opened it.

"Atton may have the title of Jedi Knight, but it's always been an unspoken agreement that he stay on the fringes of the order. He's the instrument of the council that will do their dirty work. So, technically, you could say, he's not part of the order. Visas will return home and help her people as she always wanted to do." She turned and looked at him. "The council," she began," will never allow you to became a Jedi because you were a Sith. Prodigal Knights," she added with a reference to Revan, "are no longer allowed, you know?" He nodded. "Leave the order; finish your stint with the Republic Navy." Jaden didn't add that his experience with all three would be vital to rebuilding the Jedi Order for the future. She'd let Atton have that fun task.

"Jaden, I know you . . . love my dad and you're worried you might have manipulated him in some way, but don't."

_~~ Perceptive little brat, ~~_ the dark masters chuckled at her immediate distress.

_~~ Shut up. ~~_

"He can't be too angry with you. My sister Mission; that's her place. Dad," he pointed to the door at the far end of the hall, "lives right there." Dustil walked back to the elevator and just before the door closed, gave her a brilliant smile.

Jaden sighed. "I'm an idiot."

_~~ Yes. Yes you are. ~~_

_~~ Shut up! ~~_

* * *

It was either the constant loud pounding in her head or incessant buzzing that roused Jaden several hours later, and it was probably just as well since she wasn't really sleeping. Once she was alone, Jaden stripped away every barrier she had erected since defeating Aeden and let the Force rush in. It was painful, overwhelming, but necessary she realized too late. Trying to absorb what she was in bits and pieces was futile. She was the Force, and that's what she needed to be.

If she had done this sooner Jaden would have realized that Carth was less than fifty yards away and hurting. When she had started to reach to him, her abilities were violently turned back on her.

_~~ NO! ~~_

The masters held her pinned in place as she struggled against the only thing more powerful than herself. It wasn't until she ceased her struggles that they released her.

"Bastards," she mumbled to the Master's as she shrugged off their power. Reaching the door it opened to Canderous dressed in his full Mandalorian armor, HK in assassination mode and T3 alternating between spunky and worried whistles.

"I don't know how they did it, but the Jedi got Zared off the Sojourn and have taken him to the temple."

* * *

Aeden had walked this long hallway to the Council chambers many times over the years. First as a Jedi Knight, then a Jedi Master, and the last time as an outcast, the exile. The last time he had no escort. Unable to use the Force, there was no need. This time though he was surrounded by soldiers, at his request, something the sergeant clearly was questioning every time he turned around to frown at him. Without the escort, Aeden wondered if he would have made it this far.

Visas had come to visit, which he didn't really want despite the fact he still held very deep feelings for her, but she was trying her best to ease his pain and he was selfish enough not to pass that up. He suspected Jaden would be the only one who could truly undo the damage she had caused. He desperately wanted to see her again, but didn't want to ask for her. _I still have some pride left, _he thought, despite its tattered nature. But it was shortly after Visas had gotten there when the two Jedi, Padawans if he wasn't mistaken, had shown up demanding to take him into custody so they could take him to the Council for judgment.

He probably shouldn't have laughed at them, or told them the council couldn't find their way out of a wet paper bag let alone pass judgment, but he had, which pissed them off and being the youngling's they were one thing led to another. He had just finished relieving one of them of their light saber and had used it to defend himself from an attack when General Lavek walked in with a squad of Republic soldiers. . .

"_What the . . ." Aeden heard over the high pitch hum of blasters being charged when, with a flick of his wrist, he disarmed the other young Jedi, catching the hilt of the saber in his left hand._

"_You two need to practice your training," he said quietly. "It won't look to good for you when the council learns you just got your asses handed to you by an invalid just up from his death bed." When he started to collapse, he was surprised it was Kwyn that reached out and caught him. Visas took over helping him back to the bed._

"_I'll repeat, what the hell is going on?" Kwyn asked._

"_The council sent us to return him," one of the boys pointed to Zared with as much disgust as he could, "to the temple."_

_Kwyn looked at the two young men for a moment. "They sent two kids to take a Master Jedi – "_

"_He's no Master Jedi," one of the boys snapped._

"_- fine, former Sith'ari or Emperor of the Sith if you prefer, to the temple."_

"_To justice, for the murder of our brethren."_

"_Kid," Aeden said shaking his head, "if you haven't heard this yet, listen closely. The Jedi don't believe in killing their prisoners, so if you're hoping for some bloodletting you're on the wrong side of the Force."_

The events became a blur after that, since the scuffle had weakened him sufficiently that he had to concentrate on keeping his head on his shoulders. The ensuing argument about who he belonged to for punishment only added to the pounding in his head, so much so he did something he thought he never would. . .

"_Shut up, all of you," he said pressing against his temples. At least the pounding in his head eased when Visas touched his shoulder and he was equally thankful for the perky nurse who appeared with a shot of Kolto. "I haven't been this popular since I jumped out of that tree on Master Kavar," he mumbled as he stood from the side of the bed. "You want a piece of me," he said pointing to the young Jedi, "The Republic wants their pound of flesh." He turned to Lavek. "You know as well as I do, the most the council will do will exile me once again –"_

"_Don't be to certain of that," one of the kids mumbled._

"_- so if you and Admiral Onasi want your pound of flesh, then you need to make sure I get to, and back," he added, "from the Jedi Temple."_

_It took a few moments, but Kwyn nodded once and ordered the squad crowded into the small room to escort him to the temple._

Maybe he was feeling better since he was finding it pretty comical to watch the other Jedi milling about the great hall move out of the way. Or maybe it was giving directions to his escort on where to go for him to face judgment. He supposed there was a chance that the Council would imprison him, make him work in the archives as punishment, like they did when he was a Padawan, but he doubted that would be the case. At least he hoped that wouldn't be the case. Even when he wandered through the Sith archives on the home world, he thought it a fitting punishment for those that misbehaved. Nothing like a little mind numbing boredom to make you think twice about ones bad behavior.

Aeden had expected the stares, the whispers, the looks of disbelief. What he didn't expect was to find Master Vandar standing in the middle of the hallway in front of the Room of a Thousand Fountains. He could hear the roar of the water as he approached and wondered briefly if Kreia was right and they had truly gone silent after Nihilus had attacked Kataar, stripping it of the Force and destroying much of the Jedi council who had met there.

"An escort of this nature is unnecessary Master Zared," Vandar said when the small group reached him.

He heard the outraged gasp of the two Padawans as they limped forward.

"I beg to differ," Aeden said quietly as he glanced behind him.

Before the two young men could say anything, Vandar silenced their protest by raising his hand. He studied Aeden for a moment.

"You won't find what you're looking for," he said softly.

"I thought perhaps – "

"She would leave me with . . . something?" He shook his head. "Her punishment for my crimes is the shell you see before you, so if you were hoping to strip me of the Force. . ." he shrugged. "Now, let's get this over with so the Republic can have their pound of flesh as well." He nodded to the Sergeant and stepped around Vandar as he continued for the council chambers.

* * *

Even knowing who she was and the things Jaden had done for him, Canderous was still skeptical of the Force and its motivations because, well of whom she was and the things Jaden had done to the Mandalorians. She had brought them the chance to gain the greatest honor and glory by pitting them against the Republic and she had nearly destroyed the Mandalorians by seducing Revan with the power of the dark side. He briefly wondered if Jaden would have let Revan finish them off if Zared hadn't taken part of her power.

Now he was struggling to keep up with Jaden as they marched through the streets toward the Jedi Temple. She had either slowed down those around them or was using Force Quick March, because they were making record time from one end of the city's main promenade to the other.

"How did this happen?" She demanded as they wove their way through the pedestrians.

"According to Atton, two Jedi showed up at the med bay demanding to take Zared into custody. They tried to remove him by force, but Zared managed to disarm them," he paused and gave her a pointed look, but she ignored him.

"Did he hurt anyone?"

"No, and why don't you know that?" She continued to ignore him. Finally, not to be denied, he grabbed her arm. "Why don't you know that?"

"Careful, Mandalore, my largess only goes so far," she snapped with a flashing glare

He wanted to ignore her, but he could feel every scar she healed come back. Feel every ache she eased return tenfold. He let go and watched her continue her climb up the steps of the temple. A hairsbreadth away from the threshold she stopped. "Where are the keys?"

"Still on the Sojourn," Atton told her as he met her at the entrance.

She nodded once and crossed over. Immediately, the walls of the temple began to vibrate. It couldn't be helped. At least she didn't have to worry about all three keys being here. That might bring down the house, literally. "What the hell happened?" she demanded of Atton as they crossed the great hall.

"Well it was almost an ambush. According to the deck guard when the Jedi boarded they were dressed as soldiers. Two of the Padawans went for the keys, but Radha turned them back. Who is he again, because according the guard in the room; he brought them to their knees with little more than the thought."

"Radha is not important. He did his job. Tell me about Aeden."

"Not much to tell as I know it. He disarmed the other two Padawans, and then very precisely dissuaded them from getting up. He agreed to come here as long as General Lavek provided the escort."

Jaden shot him a sharp look as they approached the lift that would take them to the council chambers.

Atton shrugged. "I came in at the end so I don't know everything that happened. He was pretty wiped out by the time I got there." He looked behind him when the fountains they passed shot to the ceiling. "Jaden," he grabbed her arm and stiffened against the heat that began to burn. "He thinks they're going to exile him again, that once that's done then the Republic will get their pound of flesh. That's why Lavek agreed to the escort."

She shrugged him off and looked down. "You should have that looked at," she said before turning into the lift.

Atton looked down and saw the blisters on his palm. Shaking his head he followed her into the lift and accepted the Kolto bandage Canderous handed him. He wasn't a good healer; he knew that so the extra help would aid his own abilities. "Was that really necessary? I'm on your side you know," he said.

"I don't have time to play with you Atton. I'm pissed – "

"Really? Could have fooled me," he snapped.

"- and in no mood to put up with your . . . wise cracks." When the lift stopped, she blasted the doors open with a push and with a confident stride covered the short distance to the chambers. Atton thought she was magnificent as he followed her through the doors.

Zared stood in the center of the chambers, hip shot to the right; his shoulders slightly rounded giving the appearance of insolence. The dark shaggy hair and half tucked shirt only added to the look. And despite every barrier she possessed, Aeden's pain arrowed right through her. She suspected that was the only thing holding him together at this point.

"I respect the views of the Republic, and they will be taken into consideration, however this is a matter for the Jedi Council –"Lyret began and found his words parroted back to him by a small statured man in a military uniform.

"I respect the views of the Jedi Council, and they will be taken into consideration, however this is a matter for the Republic Senate –"

Jaden stepped beside Aeden. "Mine!"

"How dare you? You have no say in this matter. He has massacred hundreds of Jedi in his personal vendetta against this council for exiling him! He belongs to the Jedi."

"He belongs to the Republic."

Jaden turned at the sound of Carth's voice behind her. "He belongs to me," she snapped. It was only the briefest of a flicker, but the pain that leapt into his eyes was enough to take her breath away.

_~~ Child . . . ~~_

She turned away and stepped in front of Aeden. She took his shackles in her hand and began to concentrate.

"Are you alright?" he asked quietly. When she didn't answer he began to pull his hands away. "Look at me," he told her in a harsh whisper. When the cuffs fell from his wrists she stepped away then looked up. Seeing the conflict she struggled against tore something in him. "Darling,"

"What do you think you're doing?"

The inner turmoil turned to icy rage. In the palm of her hand, a small ball of lightning began to form as Jaden raised her arm. Zared recognized her intent and grabbed her arm, forcing the power she was about to unleash on Lyret to discharge to the floor to rumble beneath their feet.

"Now you defend them?"

"They'll just breed more, remember?"

"Milady –"

"Jaden," Carth said stepping up to her. "Let him go." It was unsettling to see it, the shift from dark through a maze of confusion to the Jaden he knew, the light side. "Let him go."

Jaden frowned at Master Vandar, Carth, and then she looked at Aeden and found him ashen. The moment she brushed him off, he went to his knees, gasping for breath.

"Who do you think you are?" One of the other masters demanded.

As Carth and Atton helped Zared back to his feet, Jaden snapped, "You cannot hope to ever comprehend who I am." She turned away from the small group. "They belong to me."


End file.
